


Melody From Another World

by CelticxPanda



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, Families of Choice, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Multi, Original Character(s), Original Character-centric, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV First Person, POV Original Female Character, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Insert, Self-Loathing, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2018-06-07 09:53:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 56
Words: 265,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6799135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelticxPanda/pseuds/CelticxPanda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What the hell am I doing? This wasn't the plan! Okay, granted I didn't have a plan but still, I don't even LIKE Sasuke!</p>
<p>Or:</p>
<p>In which I try to fix everything with cuddles and cheesy pop music.</p>
<p>*************************************</p>
<p>Written for tumblr's Self Insert Week 2016</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In Which I pull an Interdimensional Freaky Friday

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! This was written for tumblr's Self Insert week 2016. Originally it was just going to be a 5 to 10 page romp but, as you can clearly see, it quickly got away from me. In honor of the occasion, I will be posting a part each day this week (May 9 - 13). After that I'll fit it into my usual upload schedule. I do hope you enjoy it, this thing has consumed my life for the past two or three weeks and I really like it so I hope you do too! I look forward to seeing you in the comments!

I woke to an unfamiliar and yet familiar ceiling in an unfamiliar yet familiar room. I sat up on the equally unfamiliar yet familiar bed and looked around. The first thing I noticed was despite my lack of glasses, I could see perfectly fine, which was strange in and of itself. The second thing I noticed was the rather large black bird sitting on the bedside table. I blinked dazedly at it, tilting my head to mirror the bird’s movements. It hopped onto my knee, staring at me. Whoever’s bird this was, it obviously wasn’t scared of strangers. 

Oddly enough, the bird (crow, my brain supplied), like the other things in the room, was both recognizable and strange to me. I reached out gently, slowly, to pet the soft feathers on the bird’s head.

“Hi, pretty birdy,” I greeted, my voice decidedly deeper than I thought it should have been.

“You’re not Kou-chan!”

I jumped back, my head throbbing painfully as I slammed it against the wall. Kou-chan. That’s what the crow had called me (I wasn’t going to bother trying to wrap my head around the fact the bird had TALKED at this point). But that wasn’t my name. That definitely wasn’t my name. 

“If you’re not Kourubi then who are you?” the crow demanded, hopping up and down on my knee in an agitated fashion. The crow was female; at least that’s what her voice suggested. 

I shook my head, trying to keep my brain from going fifty different directions at once. I had to focus on the important things first, dammit! Who WAS I? I had a good idea of who I was in a fairly broad sense. I was a library aide, recently graduated from college. I’d studied abroad in Italy and had fallen in love with the little Tuscan town I’d lived in (especially the food). I had a mother, a father, and a little brother who wasn’t so little any more. I could tell you about my taste in music and what I liked to read and even a little bit about what I looked like (though that last one was fairly hazy). But my name.

I couldn’t remember my name.

“I…I don’t know,” I admitted to the crow. “I don’t remember my name.”

The crow frowned…at least I assumed she was frowning. 

“Where am I?” I asked, looking about the room. The persistent déjà vu I was feeling was starting to scare me. “I…last thing I remember was going to bed.”

The crow remained silent for a while, as if debating whether or not she should tell me anything. 

“Why don’t you go to the window and find out?” the crow suggested, her voice soft, almost as if she pitied me. 

I moved slowly, giving the crow plenty of time to hop off my knee as I twisted to set my feet on the cool wood floor. I frowned at that. My room had carpet…didn’t it? The room I fell asleep in was most certainly my room. But…wasn’t this also my room? I rubbed at my temples as they throbbed, trying to reconcile the two lifetimes of memories in my head. The ones that told me the room was right and familiar…those weren’t mine. And yet everything screamed at me that they were. 

I hobbled over to the window, which was more like a sliding glass door that opened to a small balcony, and opened it. The bright morning sunlight blinded me for a moment as I walked out on to the balcony but, I could make out a large town just over what looked like a low wall. 

As my eyes adjusted to the light, I could see more and more details. The wall I saw went around the building I was currently in, along with several other buildings, none of which went above my line of sight. That meant the building I was in was the tallest in the area. Beyond the wall was a hodgepodge of buildings of various colors and shapes and heights. 

And at the farthest point, where the town ended, was a large cliff. Upon that cliff were four faces. Four faces that were familiar to both sets of memories.

I was staring at Hokage Mountain.

“No fucking WAY!” I yelped, stumbling back into the room. I tripped over something and landed rather painfully on my ass. But I wasn’t in the right mind to care about that.

I, some how some way, had ended up in Konoha. 

My mind was racing. There were so many questions. How the hell had I ended up here? How did this place even exist? When in the timeline had I arrived? Who was the person I had taken over for? 

What had happened to that person?

I felt dizzy. I was shaking. I couldn’t breathe. Oh god, I was gonna hurl.

“Kourubi?”

I turned at the soft voice. The crow was staring up at me again.

“I’m not…”

“No, I suppose you’re not,” the crow agreed, hopping up on my knee once more. “Or, I suppose more accurately, you weren’t.”

“What?”

“No matter who you were before, you are Kourubi now. You have inherited her life, and you must live it from here on out,” the crow stated plainly.

“But…”

“Do you have her memories?” the crow asked, interrupting me.

“I think so?” I answered, racking my brain. The best I could dig up from under my own memories where images. A man and woman I assumed were Kourubi’s mother and father. The other members of Kourubi’s three-man team. People she had seen before and places she had been. Things like names, how she’d felt about things, her reactions to events; these things were beyond my reach. 

“Then you are Kourubi,” the crow asserted. “Memories, experiences, those are what make us who we are. You just happen to also be someone else.”

Her logic was certainly flawed, but I couldn’t find a decent argument against it. If I told everyone I wasn’t Kourubi, but someone else who had somehow had switched places with her consciousness, they’d probably lock me up. Pretending I was Kourubi…that didn’t exactly sound appealing either. Kourubi, from what I could piece together from her memories, was a ninja. A genin. There was bound to be things expected of Kourubi that I couldn’t do. 

I sighed heavily, leaning back until my neck rested against the edge of my bed. What was I supposed to do in this situation? 

“I’m Mori, by the way,” the crow introduced herself, and somehow when she said it the memory came flooding back to me. Of course this was Mori. I…Kourubi had known Mori since she was a small child. But if Mori was here, where was…?

“Kou-chan! Rise and shine! Up and at ‘em!” another large crow flew in through the open balcony door. He stopped short of landing on my other knee, staring up at me.

“You’re not Kou-chan.”

“Well, not entirely, no,” I admitted. I turned to Mori. “I’m going to have problems if everyone can tell what’s going on as easily as you two.”

“Gan and I have always had a special bond with Kourubi,” Mori said, a fondness creeping into her voice. “We were born for her, you know.”

“I do,” I assured, reaching out to pet Mori’s shiny black feathers. And I meant it. The more I talked with her, the more of Kourubi’s memories bubbled to the surface. 

I remembered the day Kourubi met Mori and Gan, many years ago. I remembered the contract, sealed with blood. I rubbed my thumb over the tip of my index finger, where my (Kourubi’s) father had pricked it. I remember holding the two tiny, fluffy baby birds in my hands. I remembered the surge of joy and wonder. 

I took my hand back, realizing it was shaking.

“Ah, you remembered.” Mori smiled. “I’m sure the more you experience of this life, the more memories will come back to you.”

“Hard for them to come back to me when I didn’t make them in the first place,” I muttered. 

“Shush,” Mori admonished, slapping at me with her wing. “They are just as much your memories now as they were hers.”

The way she said ‘hers’ made my stomach sink. The question remained.

“What…what do you think happened to her?”

Mori ruffled her feathers in a way I assumed meant she was shrugging. “If you are here, then she must be there.” 

“Then she has a much harder time than I do,” I joked. “She won’t have any talking animal friends to guide her.”

Mori tilted her head again, and a fond look entered her eyes. “You may not be her, but you are very much like her.”

“Good, should make things easier.” 

“This is all well and good,” Gan interrupted. “But Kou-chan has training today.”

Oh shit.

I scrambled up from my sitting position, causing Mori and Gan to flutter wildly to keep from falling to the floor. I searched the room wildly, shuffling through drawers until I found suitable clothing. I struggled to remember whether Kourubi showered in the morning or at night. I end up turning to Mori and Gan, who were sitting on my bed. 

“Do I need to…?”

“You showered last night, Kou-chan,” Mori informed me kindly, as if speaking to a small child. That should have rubbed me the wrong way, but right now I was in too much of a rush to get offended. 

I grabbed randomly at articles of clothing. All of Kourubi’s clothes seemed to be in shades of grey, with the occasional black or white. I end up settling on a pair of black pants that fit tight against my skin and a thin, dark grey, long sleeved shirt with a strange, feather like design about the shoulders. Best part: the shirt had a hood. That was cool. I had always wanted a shirt like that, but I’d never been able to find one my size. Kourubi was much smaller than I had been, at least width wise. I supposed it made sense. She’d been training to be a ninja most of her life, that was bound to keep you in shape. I was especially impressed with my arms, the muscles distinct even under the sleeves of my shirt. My legs were damn fine too, if I said so myself (and I did).

My eyes scanned the room, finding her headband atop the dresser I had pulled my clothing from. The metal was a sort of brushed steel, less reflective then the ones I had seen at home when I went to conventions. The metal plate had been set against black fabric, instead of the standard blue. I traced the leaf symbol with my fingertips. Fond memories of Naruto the story flooded back. I hadn’t watched it in years. Well, that was a lie. My little brother (I couldn’t remember his name either, and that made me much sadder than the fact I that I couldn’t remember my own) had wanted to watch it, so we had sat down one weekend and marathoned the first arc of the show, up to the very start of the Chunin exams. 

A sudden surge of determination filled me as I thought about my situation. In all likelihood, I wouldn’t be able to change much of anything, but I could at least give Naruto a friend. I could certainly be a better friend then Sasuke at any rate (not that that was hard). 

I inhaled deeply, set in my goal, and slipped the headband on under my bangs, tying it tightly at the back of my head. With Mori and Gan’s help, I also managed to find my weapons pouches and put those on too.

I thundered down the wooden stairs of the house, letting instinct guide me towards the main living area. I could smell breakfast in the air and my stomach growled loudly. I paused at the archway into the kitchen, taking in the sight. 

A woman in a knee length, poppy red sundress was setting the table. Her mahogany colored hair was pinned up in a large bun at the back of her head. She had tucked two black feathers into her hair like I remember seeing girls at school do with pencils…or disposable chopsticks. She hadn’t seemed to notice me yet, leaving me to observe as much as I liked. Her name still escaped me, but this was definitely my mother (Kourubi’s mother, the line was already starting to blur). She had been an instructor at the Academy, my instructor. 

When she finally looked up and saw me, her face broke out in a bright smile, brighter than any smile I remembered ever seeing on my own mother (then again, I was already starting to forget my real mother’s face). Her eyes were a warm, earthy brown and something inside me told me I could trust those eyes.

“Good morning, Kourubi-chan,” she greeted cheerfully. “Do you have time for breakfast before you head out?”

“Of course she does,” Gan answered for me, startling me as he came fluttering down to rest on my left shoulder like he belonged there. “I always wake her up in time for breakfast!”

My mother reached out to stroke Gan’s pretty black feathers. “You’re so good to her, Gan. I don’t know what she’d do without you!”

“Use an alarm clock?” I suggested, a playful lit to my voice. 

My mother giggled, shaking her head fondly. Good, it seemed Kourubi was as prone to sarcasm and jokes as I was. That would make things easier. 

I slid automatically into the chair closest to the archway. I glanced around at the table, noticing one of the places had been left unset. I frowned, recognizing that as father’s place. Why hadn’t mom set a place for dad?

“Go ahead and eat, Kourubi-chan.” I turned to my mother, who was scooping rice into a bowl. “Your tou-san was called away on a mission early this morning, so there’s no use waiting for him. Wouldn’t want Noboru-sensei mad at you for being late.”

I nodded wordlessly and picked up my own bowl of rice, quickly shoveling the sticky white grain into my mouth. I wasn’t used to having rice for breakfast…or fish…or soup, but the food was delicious nonetheless and I was starving. I finished my food as quickly as possible and moved my dishes to the sink before bolting for the door. I slid my black sandals onto my feet, called a farewell to my (Kourubi’s) mother and slipped out the door. 

It was pleasantly warm outside, unlike the unbearable heat I was used to back home. A breeze blew though the air and ruffled my hair. I combed a hand through it, taking the time to actually look at it. It was a lighter brown then my hair from before, about the same length though. It was soft and silky and I kept playing with it as I trotted down the cobblestone path that led from the front of my house to the gate that opened out into the village proper. Kourubi must have been a member of a pretty important clan to live in a walled compound like this. 

Mori and Gan joined me shortly into my walk, landing delicately on my shoulders. 

“So, I’m still kinda hazy about a whole bunch of shit,” I said quietly, trying not to catch the attention of the civilians I passed by. I was simply letting my legs carry me to where I needed to go. Even if I couldn’t remember anything, muscle memory would serve me well in this kind of situation. 

“We will help you however we can, Kou-chan,” Mori insisted. 

“I assume I’m part of a pretty important clan,” I started. “Tell me about them.”

“You’re name is Karasuno Kourubi,” Gan announced proudly. “And you are the daughter of Karasuno Isamu, clan head.”

Clan head? I was the daughter of the clan head? Well, if that didn’t put a whole new pressure on me to keep from appearing suspicious. Shit, now I was nervous. Well, more nervous.

“Enough, Gan, you’ll scare the poor thing!” Mori chided. Her tone was softer when she addressed me. “Don’t worry, Kou-chan. You’re doing fine.” 

“Thanks,” I muttered, not entirely believing her.

I paused briefly to glance into a storefront window, and was startled by the reflection I saw there. I looked much like I did before, short brown hair, olive skin tone; even the face shape was fairly similar. But my eyes. My eyes were totally different. They used to be a rather plain, dark shade of brown. But now, they were more red then brown. Not Sharingan red or anything, but red nonetheless. I pretended to fuss with my hair so no one passing by would think anything weird was going on and quickly moved along. 

“Tell me more about…her,” I requested. “I know I’m a genin, but…at my age shouldn’t I be a chunin?”

“Most would be, but Noboru-sensei is a cautious man,” Mori explained. “He spent more time on your training then taking you out on missions. Wanted you three to be prepared for anything. He didn’t nominate you for the chunin exams until you were 16.”

“How old am I now?”

“18,” Mori informed me. “Noboru-sensei wanted to wait another year before nominating you again after your team failed.”

I hummed, the memories starting to bubble up again. I could even feel Kourubi’s disappointment at the memory of my team’s first failure. New concerns were starting to dance around my mind. I had a basic idea of how chakra and jutsu worked, but I had no practical experience. Kourubi did, of course, but I wasn’t (totally) Kourubi. I was just some weird Freaky Friday case gone interdimensional. Would I be able to rely on muscle memory and instinct like I was with getting to the training grounds? I’d probably have to. 

I passed breezily through the main part of the village, drinking in the sights and sounds and smells. Everything was so colorful! The buildings, the clothing, the awnings that hung over the doors of the shop. I almost forgot I was in a ninja village. The grey-scale of my outfit made me stand out far more than an orange jumpsuit ever could (even if I looked far less ridiculous). I breathed deeply, the air was fresher here than back home. It smelled like trees and a little bit like fresh rain, even over the delicious smell of food that wafted out from open doors. It was a noisy village, too. People chattered as they wandered about the streets; children screamed and laughed; merchants shouted praise for their wares and complements to the ladies passing by with shopping bags. Normally, I would have tugged my headphones on and drowned it all out with whatever song I felt like listening to a hundred times over. But my headphones were gone, and so was my music. Oh…I think I made myself sad. I loved music, always had. I was going to miss it. I’d have to find a way of getting it back somehow. Nothing was impossible for ninja, right? Right.

I turned instinctively off the main road towards an area less densely packed with buildings and people. The few shops scattered about advertised weapons and weatherproof clothing instead of toys or food and drink. This was definitely the shinobi district. I found it a little odd that the Karasuno’s lived in the civilian district, seeing as they were obviously a ninja clan. But, perhaps, the Karasuno’s had been there first and the civilians just built around them. I’d have to see what sort of books I could find back home about those kinds of things. 

I crossed a small, wooden bridge over a tiny stream, and was met with a loud, very personal greeting.

“KOURUBI!” a tall, teal-haired man nearly bowled me over as he ran into me. “Mai’s being mean to me again!”

“I am not!” a young woman with golden-blonde hair tied back in a tight braid scowled. “Kourubi, tell Ryou he’s too damn sensitive to be a shinobi if he can’t take criticism of his damn katas!”

“She told me I moved like a noodle!” the man, Ryou, protested. 

This…this was starting to feel familiar. Of course it was familiar, I’d been dealing with these sorts of shenanigans for years. No, no I hadn’t, Kourubi had. But I was Kourubi. No I wasn’t! Ugh, I was getting a headache again. Mori cawed sympathetically from the bridge railing, where she and Gan had taken up residence so as not to get caught in Ryou’s ‘greeting’. 

“You are a noodle!” the woman, Mai, argued. “And what kind of ninja is always changing their hair color! It gets more ridiculous every time!”

“Hey, this way enemy ninja won’t recognize me!” 

“Oh my god, it’s too damn early for this,” I groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose like that was going to help. 

“I agree.” I turned to see another, older man crossing the bridge I’d just come over. “Ryou, let go of Kourubi, please. And Mai, stop insulting Ryou. Honestly, how do you have this much energy every morning?”

“You’re the one who set the training time, sensei,” Ryou reminded, finally releasing me. “Don’t blame us if it’s too early for you.”

“Shush,” our sensei (Noboru, my memories provided) snapped half-heartedly. “Or I won’t tell you the…well I guess you’d think it’s good news but it’s giving me a heart attack already.”

Mai was next to me in a second and Ryou’s pressed against my other side. I could feel him practically buzzing in his skin. What sort of news could be this damn exciting? Wait…what time of the year was it? It was fairly warm, so it had to be either late spring or early summer. What happened in the manga around that time? God it’d been years since I’d read it. 

“I have officially nominated you for the chunin exams,” Noboru announced. 

….fuck me.


	2. In Which I Start to Maybe Figure Things Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the positive response to the first chapter. As promised, here's chapter two. I hope you enjoy it!

One wouldn’t think that repeatedly punching and kicking the air until you’re sweaty and exhausted would be therapeutic but it actually kinda is. Katas were a pretty basic form of training, but when you didn’t know what the fuck you’re doing, it didn’t matter how basic it was. I was really grateful to find out that my body was much more reliable than my brain when it came down to remembering things. 

It had been two days since Noboru-sensei had announced we were going to be participating in the chunin exams and the initial dread had not left my stomach. I thanked whatever divine being or trickster god had put me in this situation that they had at least given me a week to figure out what the fuck I was doing. Which included sneaking into the clan library late at night and going through official documents and history books like a mad woman to try and learn everything I could. 

Turned out that the Karasuno clan was a pretty large one. I had far too many aunts and uncles to count and three times as many cousins of varying relations. Half of which apparently wanted to marry me (ew). Perks of being the next clan head I guess. The clan had been around since Konoha’s founding (which made it weird that it hadn’t shown up in the manga along with the Nara and Hyuuga and all those clans), and had been in contract with the corvids for just as long. More than just crows, the family summoned magpies and ravens and even some jaybirds (that last one was relegated to the head family’s most distant cousins, though). Lucky for me, as far as I could tell we weren’t nearly as messed up as the Hyuuga or Uchiha. So…bonus?

The katas I was practicing now were part of the Karasuno family’s style of taijutsu. It was smoother than the style I saw Mai use during our training, more fluid. Nice thing about letting my mind take a back seat to my body is I could do a whole lot more thinking about what I was doing instead of focusing on doing it. There were things I noticed that I wasn’t sure I would have thought about if I had to put actual thought into the next move in the kata. Like how I would strike with an open hand the majority of the time instead of a closed fist. Or how certain motions were definitely meant to simulate redirecting an opponent rather than just blocking them (there were a lot of movements like that in the more complicated katas). There were so many jump and spin kicks in the katas that I was starting to feel less like a martial artist and more like a really aggressive dancer. 

I hadn’t tried any ninjutsu or genjutsu yet. According to the medical records I’d found in the clan library (courtesy of the family doctor, who was one of those numerous cousins), I had three chakra natures: Lightning, Fire, and Water. From what I remembered, the manga had mentioned that having that many natures was pretty rare; so I did a little more digging (clan records were very thorough). While it wasn’t super common for a Karasuno to have three natures, it was certainly less rare than for the general population. It was about as close to a kekkei genkai I was gonna get. Which was fine. I’d rather not have to deal with clan specific freaky powers. Regular old freaky ninja powers would be fine, thank you very much. 

I understood the theory of performing ninjutsu well enough, but I was still hesitant to try anything. It was one thing to mess up a kata; it was another thing entirely to mess up a ninjutsu, especially one that was likely to literally blow up in my face. Yeah, no thanks. 

“Goodness, Kourubi-chan.” I nearly tripped over my feet as I came to an abrupt halt at the voice. I turned to se my (Kourubi’s) mother watching me from the house. “I’ve never seen you focus so heavily on your taijutsu.”

“It…it’s good stress relief,” I answered weakly. A memory breezed through my mind and turned my attention fully to my former teacher. “Hey, kaa-san, you’re really good with genjutsu, right?”

She hummed thoughtfully, stepping down from the porch that ran around the house proper and walking towards me. “I suppose so. Though your father uses far more often then I do. I’d much rather finish things directly then play around with a target, you know?”

That surprised me. Kourubi’s memories insisted that her mother was extraordinarily gifted in genjutsu. Well, I suppose you can be gifted in something and not like it very much. I gave her a subtle once over with my eyes. She certainly didn’t look like someone who would focus on taijutsu. She was tall and willowy and absolutely gorgeous (I could only hope I would end up that pretty later in life). Perhaps she meant she preferred to finish things off with a powerful ninjutsu? Or a carefully placed kunai. 

“Why do you ask?”

“I was wondering if you could teach me how to develop my own genjutsu,” I answered honestly.

Kourubi’s (my) mother blinked at me in surprise. Shit, was I being out of character? Oh god, don’t think too hard about it, kaa-san! Just be happy I’m interested and move on. Don’t comment on the strangeness of it! Please, kaa-san!

“Does this have something to do with the chunin exams?” she asked.

I breathed a mental sigh of relief. If she thought it odd, she didn’t find it odd enough to comment on, or think it totally out of character for Kourubi given the situation.

“Yes,” I said, nodding my head excitedly. “I don’t know what the test is going to be like, but it’s always good to have a wide arsenal, right?”

“I suppose you’re right,” she admitted, tapping her chin in thought. “But genjutsu are very personal things, Kourubi-chan. You have to have a lot of creativity to develop one all your own. What sort of genjutsu were you thinking about?”

“Nothing big,” I promised. “Probably something purely auditory. I mean, how freaked out would someone be if they just started hearing stuff out of nowhere?”

My mother crossed her arms and tilted her head, weighing the possibilities in her head. “I suppose a purely auditory genjutsu would be fairly easy for a beginner to develop. I could teach you the basics, but most of the work would have to be on your own. If you’re okay with that, I would be happy to teach you again! It’ll be just like back when you were little and in the academy!”

“Thank you, kaa-san!”

 

I sat by myself in the middle of what was apparently my team’s unofficial official training ground. Mori and Gan sat some ways away, at what they supposed was a safe distance. My arms were crossed and my brows were furrowed and I probably looked fucking constipated but whatever. Wasn’t like anyone was around to complain. 

Today I was going to attempt my ninjutsu. 

More accurately, I was going to attempt to see if I could rely on my body’s instincts to use ninjutsu like I was able to rely on it for taijutsu. With the help of a fairly long conversation with Mori and Gan, I had been able to remember all the jutsu I had mastered by this point. From there, I had to choose which jutsu I would use in my little experiment. Water seemed like the safest bet. At least it was less likely to blow up on me than any fire or lightning jutsu I’d learned. 

I inhaled deeply, sending a scathing glare Mori and Gan’s way when I heard them flutter farther away. It was like they had no faith in me. Fuckin’ rude. Only I was allowed to have no faith in me, dammit.

Focus, girlie. Inhale. Exhale. Take that chakra you built up and turn into something new. Turn it into water. How was I supposed to know if this was working? Would it feel different? I think it felt heavier around my stomach. Maybe that was just breakfast. Ugh, this was more difficult than I’d hoped. Oh well. My hands moved slowly from one hand sign to the next. Tiger, dog, monkey, snake, boar, tiger.

“Suiton: Water-Heavens Convergence!” 

I could feel my chakra radiate out from my being, pulling in moisture from the surrounding air. Tiny droplets floated still as death in the air, waiting for my command. I lifted my hand from the seal I was still holding and the water moved to create a barrier before me. A flick of the wrist and it went flying out in a whip-like shape. I think I just became a water bender. Fucking neat!

“It’s good to see that even in the state you’re in, you can perform jutsu without much trouble,” Gan said as he flew down to settle beside me. “But you’ll have to be able to call them up much faster in an actual combat situation.”

“I know that,” I replied with a sigh, allowing the water to dissipate back into the air. “But it’s good to know I can rely on what my body knows to get me through until my mind has caught up.”

“But will you be prepared for the chunin exams at this rate?” Gan asked only to be landed on by Mori who squawked indignantly at him. 

“Shush you!” Mori quickly turned to me with a soft look on her birdie face. “Don’t worry, Kou-chan. We have all the confidence in you.”

I smiled, reaching out to pet her feathers. “Thanks, Mori. But Gan is right. Luckily, I’m fairly certain that the first part of the exam is written…but there’s no way I can pass that on my own.”

Gan jumped up, knocking Mori off of his back. “We can help with that! You can use one of the Karasuno techniques!”

“Karasuno techniques?” I echoed. My brows furrowed as I tried to remember whether or not kaa-san or tou-san had bothered teaching Kourubi any family-specific techniques.

“Focus your chakra on your eyes,” Mori instructed. “Gan will inform you which hand signs to perform. I will give you a worthwhile view.”

She took off without another word and Gan hopped up onto my knee. 

“Best close your eyes. It’s a little disorienting otherwise.”

I did as I was told. Rat, dragon, snake, horse, bird. I could feel a tingling behind my eyes and I opened them, gasping loudly. While I was solidly on the ground, my eyes saw the village from the air. The people looked like ants as they milled about in the street and even the Hokage faces looked small from up so high.

“What the hell?”

Gan crowed with laughter. “This is the Karasuno style: Bird’s Eye View technique. It allows us to share what we see with you.”

“That’s AMAZING!” I gasped. “But I think I’m gonna get motion sick if we keep this up.”

I forced the chakra away from eyes as I blinked away the visions Mori had shared with me. It was an incredibly weird feeling, manipulating chakra. It was like being able to change what direction your blood stream was going or something. I didn’t really have a good way of explaining the feeling even to myself. But at least there was one problem taken care of. 

That just left the fucking death forest and Orochimaru’s plans for the third round tournament. 

Fuck, I was going to be lucky to make it out of this alive. 

Well, to be fair, no one made it out of life alive anyway.

 

My week of solace passed by far too quickly and I soon found myself standing in the front yard of the academy, waiting for my teammates. I still didn’t feel totally prepared, but at least I wasn’t dreading the whole thing now. I had managed to become more comfortable performing ninjutsu, which would serve me well in the coming days. 

Mai showed up first, looking a bit haggard.

“You okay?” I asked, reaching out to pull a leaf from her hair.

“My dad had me up at like 4 this morning running through some last minute exercises,” she explained, leaning down to rest her head on the shoulder that Mori wasn’t occupying.

“You poor thing,” I soothed, trying not to giggle. “Let’s hope the first round is pretty easy this year, yeah? Maybe if we finish early you can take a nap.”

She sighed dreamily. “That sounds wonderful.” 

Ryou showed up not long after, looking far less tired than Mai. 

“Who’s ready to kick ass?” he asked as he jogged up. “I’ve seen so many little kids here it’s not even funny. We’re gonna run right over them.”

“Now, now, let’s not discourage them too bad,” I advised, thinking about the rookie teams. If I could, I wanted to introduce myself to Naruto today. I’d only been either at home or the training grounds the past week, so I hadn’t seen him yet. I had, however, heard whispers from some of the clan members as they passed by the house (especially the uncles, their whispers tended to be rather loud). 

We followed the steady stream of younger (and older) genin through the building, only to be stopped by two short ninja in front of the door. Oh, this shit. Izumo and Kotetsu were kind of awful to pull this on the genin. It wasn’t even that good of a trick. Even if I couldn’t see past it at first (my knowledge of the scene helped me dispel it eventually) it was hard to overlook the fact that none of the other rooms on the hall had numbers in the 300s and we were only on the second floor after all. 

“C’mon,” Ryou hissed, tugging at my arm. “This obviously isn’t the room. Let’s just go.”

“Wait,” I whispered back with what I could only assume was a wicked grin. “If we stick around long enough, I bet something interesting will happen.”

Sure enough, not five minutes later I spotted a green jumpsuit as Lee’s team came wandering forward. I had to fight to keep my giddiness from showing on my face. Lee had always been one of my favorites, he was just too sweet and pure and fucking badass. There was a sudden uptick in chatter from the surrounding genin, so I couldn’t hear what Lee or the two chunin were saying, but Lee at least seemed to try to be polite. 

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of orange. Naruto’s team was here! My attention was drawn back to the action as one of the chunin (I couldn’t see which one) knocked Lee back. Okay, the illusion was one thing, but physically attacking a genin was toeing the line. I pushed my way through the crowd to get closer to the confrontation, ignoring Ryou’s hissed warnings and the fact Mori had left my shoulder to settle on Mai’s. 

“So, are you sure you’re going to attempt taking the chunin exam with that skill level?” Kotetsu mocked.

“May be best if you runts quit,” Izumo supplied, a smirk on his face. 

I kept back as Tenten stepped forward only for her to be knocked back again. I was almost relieved when Sasuke stepped forward. 

“Let me through.” I rolled my eyes at his pretentious attitude, but at least it got the crowd whispering. “And could you also undo the genjutsu barrier, right now. I have business on the third floor.” 

Izumo and Kotetsu scowled. “So you noticed that, huh?”

Sasuke smirked and turned to address Sakura, “How about it, Sakura. You’ve got the best eyes for genjutsu, you probably saw it from the start.”

I was a little surprised. I hadn’t expected Sasuke to compliment Sakura. He almost sounded…respectful. Damn, what happened to turn him from this to the asshole I knew him to be.

Oh, yeah. Orochimaru.

Kotetsu and Sasuke’s sudden movement brought my attention back to the situation at hand. Before I could even twitch, Lee shot forward to catch their kicks and stop the fight before it even started. That’s my boy! Oh, now’s your chance! Say something, dumbass!

I stepped forward as Sasuke and Kotetsu jumped back. Lee twitched a little as I set my hand on his head to ruffle his hair. 

“Nice job stopping that fight, kiddo.” I then turned to Kotetsu and Izumo with the fakest smile I could muster. “And how about we save testing the genin for the actual exam, chunin-san?”

I was more than happy to smile at the scowling chunin as they slunk away. 

“Kourubi, you can let the kid go now,” Ryou drawled, sliding up behind me with Mai in tow. 

“Hmmm? Oh, I guess you’re right.” I turned to smile at Lee, giving his hair one last ruffle before letting him go. His hair was really soft, like surprisingly so. The look he shot me was kinda weird, like he wasn’t sure whether to be mad at me for treating him like a kid or happy I had acknowledged him. 

“C’mon. Let’s just go,” Mai murmured, tugging Ryou and me towards the stairwells. 

“You guys are no fun,” I grumbled.

 

I didn’t catch Lee asking Sakura out, or Neji’s confrontation with Sasuke, but both must have happened because the next time I saw Naruto’s team, Lee and Sasuke were already in the middle of their duel. I stopped my teammates and watched from the overhang. 

“Oooh! That looked like it hurt, haha!” I cheered as Lee sent Sasuke flying across the room with a single kick. Was I being an asshole? …Probably.

A shudder ran down my spine when Sasuke’s dark eyes turned red. So that’s what a Sharingan looked like in person. It was honestly sort of terrifying, to see someone’s eyes suddenly change. Even if he wasn’t looking at me, it was like he saw through my soul. 

“So that’s the Sharingan,” Mai said appreciatively. “I’ve never seen one before. Not like it’ll help him though. Even I can tell there’s no trick to that kid. He’s just plain better than the Uchiha.”

I could see Lee’s bandages unraveling from around his arms. My eyes scanned the room, waiting for the interloper to arrive. A pinwheel shot out from out of my eye line, pinning Lee’s bandages to the wall. Where? 

“That’s enough, Lee!”

Ryou and Mai’s heads moved in sync with mine as we turned to see a giant red and yellow tortoise standing just meters away from the fight. Lee and Sasuke dropped to the ground, Lee landing gracefully while Sakura dove to catch the plummeting Sasuke. Naruto was on his feet as well. Honestly, I’d forgotten he got knocked during this fight. 

“Why the fuck is a tortoise scolding him?” Mai asked incredulously. 

“Maybe it’s his sensei’s summons?” Ryou suggested.

“Probably,” Mai agreed. “But then where’s his sensei?”

A puff of smoke appeared on the tortoises’ back and Ryou smirked. “Probably right there.”

“YOU GUYS ARE IN THE SPRINGTIME OF YOUR YOUTH, AREN’T YOU!”

I couldn’t stop myself from bursting out laughing as Mai and Ryou made noises of disbelief beside me. I couldn’t even hear the conversation below I was laughing too hard. Just when I thought I’d gotten over it, Gai punched Lee and it got me going all over again. 

“Oh my god,” I groaned, my shoulders continuing to shake with mirth. “Oh, it’s even better than in the manga, holy shit. Pffahahaha.”

“You three, I know you from somewhere.”

The squeak I made would have been fucking embarrassing if Ryou and Mai hadn’t made similar noises. We whirled around, finding ourselves face to face with green covered pecs. Huh…his muscles were never that defined in the manga. It was actually kinda impressive. I wondered if everything was just as defined. He’d probably look pretty hot if he didn’t wear the dumb jumpsuit.

“I don’t think you do, sir,” Ryou insisted, leaning as far back from Gai as possible.

“No, I’ve seen your faces before, hmmmm. Ah ha!” Gai’s face lit up like a firework. “YOU MUST BE MY BELOVED NOBORU’S DEAR STUDENTS!”

…I’m sorry, what?

Mai’s reaction was far less subdued then my brain break. “Beloved? Noboru-sensei has a boyfriend? A BOYFRIEND THAT IS YOU WHAT?”

Ryou’s only question was “how?”

Gai’s excited expression faltered. “Has…has my beloved Noboru not mentioned me?”

Mai shrugged and managed to rein in her disbelief. “Noboru-sensei doesn’t really talk about his personal life.”

“How did the two of you meet?” I asked with one eyebrow raised skeptically. 

Gai’s smile was back on his face. He closed his eyes and clasped his chin. “Well, it’s a wonderful story, really. You see…”

Ryou grabbed Mai and me by our arms and snuck us away while Gai was distracted. I had to admit I was a little upset. I really did want to hear the story.

 

I could see the double doors at the end of the hallway. Kakashi was there, but Naruto and the others weren’t anywhere to be seen. They’d escaped Gai before we had, so there was no way they were behind us. My hands clenched into fists by my sides as we approached. Kakashi glanced up at the sounds of our footsteps, fixing us with his one-eyed gaze. I swallowed down a nervous yelp. 

“Are you gonna try and stop us like those assholes down stairs?” Mai asked, a growl in her voice. 

Kakashi seemed slightly taken aback by her aggressiveness, but he didn’t stay that way for long. His visible eye crinkled in what I had always interpreted to be a smile. God, how was a guy that fucking handsome with the majority of his face hidden? It wasn’t fucking fair. 

“Of course not,” he said smoothly. “Go on in.”

Fuck his voice was nice, too. God, now my stomach was twisting for a totally different reason. Was I blushing? I raised a hand to my cheek to check. I certainly felt warm. Shit he looked at me! Don’t look at me, you stupid sexy fucker!

Mai marched right past him and pushed open the doors.

“MY NAME IS UZUMAKI NARUTO!!! I WON’T LOSE TO YOU BASTARDS!!! YOU GOT THAT?!!!”

Kakashi smiled again, hiding just behind the wall so his students wouldn’t see him. Mai and Ryou looked floored by the tiny genin’s declaration. I couldn’t stop a fond laugh from bubbling up and escaping. Naruto whirled at the sound, his expression fierce. It softened when he saw the smile on my face.

“That’s quite the declaration, sunshine,” I said, laughter still in my voice. “I can’t wait to see what you do to prove it true.”

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Kakashi disappear as the doors swung closed. I hope he was cool with me encouraging his loud-mouthed brat. The look Naruto fixed me with was excited and full of awe, like no one had ever encouraged him before. God, that was a painful thought. 

“Please don’t encourage his stupidity,” Sakura begged, an exasperated look on her face.

Before I could reply, Naruto was right in my space, almost knocking me over in his excitement. Mori squawked at him, flapping her wings in agitation. 

“Hey! Hey! What’s your name, nee-san?” he asked, eyes bright and hopeful. God, I hadn’t even really meant to call him sunshine but the nickname was apt. 

“Karasuno Kourubi,” I answered. I jerked my thumb back at my teammates, who looked extraordinarily unenthused by the proceedings. “These are my teammates, Mai and Ryou.” It was starting to bother me that I didn’t know their last names. But I didn’t let it show as I raised a hand to pet Mori’s feathers soothingly. “And this pretty birdie is Mori.” 

“Karasuno?” Kiba echoed, a sour look on his face. “You mean those freaky bird people?”

“Better than being a freaky dog person, Inuzuka-kun,” I shot back with a smile. His scowl only deepened. 

“C’mon, Kourubi, let’s just go,” Ryou interrupted. “I’d rather not hang around these snotty kids any more than I have to.”

“Aww, but they’re so cute!” I protested. “Just look at them. Look at the itty bitties!”

“I’d rather not,” Ryou maintained. 

I rolled my eyes. “Ugh, fine.” I turned back to Naruto and ruffled his hair with a smile. “See you later, sunshine. Good luck.”

We were a good distance away when the sound ninja attacked Kabuto. Honestly I hadn’t even noticed the guy was there. He certainly didn’t stick out, which was probably a good trait to have as a spy. Ugh, even with everything I knew I couldn’t do anything without proof. Fuck, the whole situation frustrated me. 

An explosion of smoke at the front of the room caught my attention even before Ibiki’s booming voice caught the rest of the ninja packed into the small space off guard. 

“Quiet down you worthless bastards!” Ibiki appeared, surrounded by his proctors from Torture and Interrogation. “Thanks for waiting. I am Morino Ibiki, your proctor for chunin selection exam’s first test.”

He extended a gloved hand to point at the Sound genin. “You guys, stop doing as you please before the exam. Unless you want to fail, that is.”

“Forgive us, sir.” The bandaged genin (I honestly couldn’t remember his name) apologized smoothly. “It’s our first time and we got a little carried away.”

Ibiki smirked. “Let me say this now. There will be no fighting without the permission of the examiner. Even if permission is granted, killing your opponent will not be tolerated. Those pigs that disobey me will be failed immediately. Do I make myself clear?”

A heavy silence fell over the room. At least I wasn’t the only nervous one.

Ibiki’s expression turned grim again. “We will now start the first test of the chunin exam.”


	3. In Which I Change Everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you all so much for your positive feedback! And now: another day of Self Insert Week, another chapter for you all. Enjoy, and I hope to see you in the comments!

Somehow, someway, I got lucky enough to sit next to Sakura during the exam. Mori ruffled her feathers, perhaps in anticipation to be useful. The proctors passed out the test, which lay face down in front of us. 

Ibiki stood at the front of the room chalk in hand. “Do not turn your test over. Listen closely to what I’m about to say. There are many important rules to this first test. I’ll write them down as I explain them, but questions are not allowed so listen closely.” He turned to the chalkboard and began writing. “The first rule: you guys will all start off with ten points. The test is made up of ten questions and each one is worth one point, but this test uses a subtraction system. Basically if you answer all the questions correctly, you keep your ten points. But, say if you miss three questions, you lose three points and will have seven.”

I stopped paying attention after that. I remembered the rules fairly well from when I had read the manga. Well, I remembered the most important rule: don’t get caught cheating. Cheat all you like, but be smart about it. Luckily, none of the proctors had said anything about Mori, who had hoped up onto my head (her claws felt kinda weird on my scalp but that was a small price to pay for getting answers). I had no idea how Ryou and Mai were going to keep their points, but hopefully they wouldn’t panic before the end. 

“The exam will last one hour,” Ibiki announced, finishing his monologue. He let the dread hang in the air for a moment before calling for the exam to begin. 

I flipped my paper over and stared blankly at the questions I found. Even just a brief scan of the problems told me I couldn’t answer any of the questions on the paper. I sat back, laying my hands in my lap. A quick glance around at the proctors found none look directly at me. I closed my eyes and quickly ran through the hand signs for the Bird’s Eye View technique. I felt the tingling behind my eyes and opened them. Mori was at just the right angle that I could see the majority of Sakura’s paper. I placed my hands back on the desk and felt carefully for my pencil. The only issue with this was I couldn’t see what was right in front of me. But if I gave that away I was doomed for sure. 

Once I had my pencil in hand, I slowly bent my head forward, letting Mori hop back into position before I began to carefully write what I saw on Sakura’s paper. I felt a little bad for cheating off her, especially since I knew that I didn’t really need to. But just in case, I had to do what I could so Ryou and Mai could pass. 

Even with my fairly slow pace, I finished copying Sakura’s answers just as she herself finished answering them. I blinked away my jutsu, frowning when I found that I had written outside the answer box on several of the questions. An easy fix but a pain nonetheless. I glanced up at the clock. Thirty minutes had passed. Now I just had to wait fifteen minutes for the last one. God, it was going to be a long fifteen minutes. Several teams had been kicked out already, but neither Ryou nor Mai’s number had been called (and luckily neither had mine). 

I took the fifteen minutes to rewrite my answers into the boxes and then I waited.

Sure enough, fifteen minutes before the end of the test, Ibiki made an announcement.

“Okay, we will now start the tenth question.”

My hands tightened into fists and Mori hopped frantically up and down on the desk next to me. I couldn’t see Ryou or Mai from my position, but I prayed they weren’t freaking out.

“Now…before we get to it, I’d like to go over the added rules for this question,” Ibiki stated.

Just before he began, Kankuro, who I hadn’t seen leave, returned. He twitched when Ibiki called him out for his puppet, but that was technically the first time he’d gotten caught, so his team wasn’t kicked out. 

“I’ll now explain,” Ibiki continued. “These are…the rules of desperation.”

I inhaled sharply. Even though I knew how this would turn out, my palms were sweaty and I could feel my hands shaking. Mori turned to look up at me in concern. I reached out to pet at her head, hoping to soothe both her and my own nerves.

“First, for the tenth question, you must decide whether you will take it or not,” Ibiki said, his face impassive.

“Choose?!” Temari shouted from somewhere out of my sight. “What happens if we choose not to?”

“If you choose not to, your points will be reduced to zero,” Ibiki answered. “You fail! Along with your two teammates.”

He waited for the uproar his announcement caused to die down before continuing. “And now, the other rule. If you choose to take it and answer incorrectly…that person will lose the right to take the chunin selection exam again.”

I looked around, trying to find Ryou and Mai. They were both towards the back, fairly close together. I managed, just barely, to catch their eyes. Mai looked royally pissed, but Ryou seemed to be in shock. Neither looked scared per se, but they also didn’t have a spark of determination I could encourage. C’mon you guys, hang in there!

“Those that do not wish to take it, raise your hand,” Ibiki instructed. “Once your number is confirmed, leave.”

One by one, then all at once, test takers raised their hands and left. I looked to Ryou and Mai again, neither one of them looked ready to move. Their eyes met mine and I gave them a little nod, keeping my hands firmly on the desk in front of me. As I turned back, I could see Sakura staring at Naruto’s back. Her frown turned into a small, sad smile, and she moved to raise her hand. I reached out quickly and grabbed her hand. She jumped and turned to stare at me. 

“Wait,” I whispered. “Let him make that decision for himself.”

Her jaw dropped and she turned again to stare at Naruto’s trembling back. The shock on her face when his shaking hand went into the air was understandable. Naruto was not the kind of kid who gave up easily. I held my breath. C’mon sunshine. 

Naruto’s shaking hand slammed down onto the desk and he pushed himself to his feet with an impassioned cry.

“DON’T UNDERESTIMATE ME! I WILL NOT RUN! I’ll take it!! Even if I’m a genin forever…I’ll will myself to become Hokage anyway, so I don’t care! I’M NOT AFRAID!”

“That’s right sunshine,” I whispered, earning an awed glance from Sakura. “You tell ‘em.” 

The whole atmosphere of the room changed with Naruto’s words. This was always what I loved most about Naruto. The way he could reach people’s hearts with his words…that was way more powerful then any ninjutsu anyone could ever learn. 

Ibiki’s face gave away nothing as he spoke once more. “I’ll ask you again. Your life is riding on this decision. This is your last chance to quit.”

“I never back down from a promise,” Naruto answered him. “That’s my ninja way.”

No one else left the room. A small smile made it’s way onto Ibiki’s face.

“Good decisions. Now to everyone still remaining…” Ibiki’s smile turned into a proud grin. “I congratulate you on passing the first test!” 

“Wait! What about the tenth question?” Sakura shouted, disbelief on her face.

“There never was such a thing,” Ibiki explained, the grin still on his face. “Or, I suppose you could say the choice was the tenth question.”

“Then what were the first nine questions for?!” Temari demaned.

“To test your individual information gathering ability,” Ibiki said plainly. “First, as the rules explained…success on the this test is based on the whole team doing well. This put pressure on each member not to mess things up for their teammates. But the questions on this test were not the types of questions a mere genin could answer. Because of that, I’m sure most of the people here came to the same conclusion. That to score points, I’ll have to cheat. Basically the premise of the test was to cheat. We had tow or so chunins who knew all the answers mixed into the crowd to help you guys out.

“But those who cheat poorly fail of course.” Ibiki reached up to undo his bandana and I gasped as he revealed his scarred head to us. It was far more horrifying than the manga or anime could have prepared me for. “Because at times, information is more important than life…and on missions and the battlefield, people risk their lives to get their hands on it.”

I had to look away. Temari spoke up once more.

“I still don’t understand the tenth question.”

Ibiki smiled once more, he’d been doing that a lot since his announcement of our passing. I couldn’t help but wonder which version of Ibiki was the real one: the serious interrogation master, or the smiling man in front of us now.

“The tenth question is the true purpose of this exam.”

“I don’t understand,” Sakura said.

“Let me explain. The tenth question…the ‘take it’ or ‘not take it’ decision…obviously these were painful choices,” Ibiki said plainly. “Those who choose the latter fail along with their teammates. Those who choose to take it could lose the chance to take the test again. It’s a true leap of faith. Now, about the two choices. Say you guys become chunins. Your mission is to stea a secret document. The amount of ninjas, their abilities, etc. is unknown to you. And of course there could be traps set all around you. Now, do you accept, or not accept. Because you don’t want to die, because you don’t want your comrades hurt. Can you avoid this dangerous mission? The answer is no!!

“No matter what the danger there are missions you can’t avoid. The ability to be courageous and survive any hardships…this is the ability needed to become a chunin captain. Those who can’t put their destinies on the line, who cling to the uncertain future of ‘there’s always next year’ and then walk away from their chance…”

Ibiki’s tone changed, becoming more passionate. “Those pieces of trash who can only make such cowardly choices don’t have the right to become chunin. That’s how I feel. Those who choose to take it answered the tough tenth question correctly. You will be able to survive any troubles you face in the future.”

To hear it put like that was far more inspiring than I expected it to be. I sighed in relief and slumped in my seat with a breathy laugh. 

Ibiki’s expression and voice softened. “You made it through the entrance. The first test of the chunin selection exam is now finished. I wish you guys luck.”

There was a flurry of activity as something (or someone) crashed through the window. A banner unfurled and in the blink of an eye Anko Mitarashi was before us in all her glory. 

“You guys! This is no time to be celebrating!” she shouted. “I am the examiner for the second test, Mitarashi Anko. Now let’s go! Follow me!!”

A silence fell over the room. No one was quite sure what to think of the next proctor. She and Ibiki bantered, but I didn’t pay much attention. I was just relieved to make it through the first exam. But now came the real hard part. It was easy to sit in my seat and just let time pass. I’d actually have to fight and survive in the next two tests. 

The whole lot of us were herded out of the classroom and through the streets of Konoha. Mai and Ryou caught up to me soon after the march started. Mai’s face was flushed and she seemed…giggly. 

“What’s up with you?” I asked.

“Our proctor,” she hissed, as if trying not to get overheard. “She’s so hot!”

My gaze went from Mai to Anko at the front of the crowd and back to Mai. My brows furrowed. 

“I mean, I guess? She’s not really my type…” I shrugged. 

Mai and Ryou both gave me a look I couldn’t identify. 

“What?”

“You know…we don’t really know what your type even is…” Ryou said casually, clasping his chin as if deep in thought.

“I don’t really think I have a type,” I admitted, trying to stop the conversation before it even started.

“But you just said she wasn’t your type,” Mai reminded me.

“Well, that’s cause I like men.”

“Really? There’s no other reason?”

I shrugged. I didn’t know enough about Anko to really say I’d date someone like her or not. Because of my lack of romantic experience (both in this life as Kourubi and my life before) it was hard for me to describe the person I would date. Being demiromantic and demisexual would do that to you. I wondered vaguely if Kourubi shared my orientation or if she was something different. My teammates didn’t seem surprised by the fact I said I was attracted to men, so we must have been similar in that aspect at least. 

Somehow, Ryou and Mai seemed satisfied with that answer for now. We continued in relative quiet until the march came to an abrupt stop in front of a large, fenced off forest. 

The Forest of Death. 

I wasn’t at a good angle to catch Anko and Naruto’s confrontation, but I did manage to catch a glance at the Kusa genin Orochimaru was disguising himself as. God, like the tongue didn’t give it away. C’mon, Anko, you used to train under him! How could you not recognize him?

“Now before we start the second test,” Anko yelled out for all of us to hear, “there’s something I need to pass out.” She reached into some inner pocket of her coat and pulled out a stack of papers. “You must sign these agreement forms. There will be deaths in this test. And if you don’t sign them it’ll be all my responsibility.” She even had the balls to fucking giggle and grin at the idea.

I gave Mai a look. I was starting to understand why Anko wasn’t my type. 

“I’m going to explain the second test, then you can sign it afterwards. And then each team will check in at the booth behind me,” Anko said, projecting her voice loudly. “Simply put, you will attempt the ultimate survival. I guess I’ll talk about the area in which the test will be taking place first. Around practice arena number forty-four are forty-four locked gates. Forest, river, and a tower in the center. From the gates to the tower is about ten kilometers. During the survival exercise you will be asked to complete a certain task. Using your many weapons and jutsu, you will compete in a no rules scroll battle.”

“Scrolls?” a genin I didn’t recognized echoed in confusion.

“Yes.” Anko pulled out the two scrolls from another pocket. “You will fight over these two scrolls. The ‘heaven’ and ‘earth’. There are eighty-four people here, meaning twenty-eight teams. Half, fourteen, will get the ‘heaven’ scroll and the other fourteen teams will each get the ‘earth’ scroll. To pass the test, your team must make it to the tower with BOTH scrolls. But, there’s a time limit. This second test will last one hundred twenty hours. Exactly five days.”

There was an outburst from the younger genin, mostly about how the hell they were going to eat in a forest for five days. Anko simply shrugged it off.

“Fourteen teams passing is not likely,” she continued. “As the days go on, the distance to the goal will become farther and the time to rest will become shorter. And the area is crawling with enemies so you won’t get much sleep. So not only will some fail by losing the scroll, but some will probably die from the harshness of the course.

She smiled before moving on. “Now I’ll talk about what will disqualify you. First: those that don’t make it to the tower with both scrolls within the time limit. Second: those who lose a teammate or those who have a teammate killed. As a rule, there is no quitting in the middle. You will be in the forest for five days. One more rule…you must not look inside the scroll until you make it to the tower.”

“What happens if you do?” Naruto asked, his voice cautious.

Anko smirked. “That will be a surprise for anyone who does. A chunin will be asked to handle classified information. This is to test your trustworthiness. That’s it for the explanations. Exchange the three forms for your scroll. Then choose a gate and get ready to start.

“Oh! A final word of advice: don’t die!”

“You have horrible taste in women, Mai,” Ryou grumbled as he took a form from the stack and passed it along. “She’s a fucking monster.”

“I’m sure there are worse,” Mai shrugged, brushing the whole thing off. 

“Oh, there definitely are,” I muttered under my breath. 

This was my only chance to change the course of this world’s story. If I was able to manipulate circumstances so my team would interfere with Orochimaru’s fight with Team Seven, then I just might be able to save their lives from going to shit. The only issue was how. We were certainly stronger than the rookies, but there was no way we’d be a match for Orochimaru. I quickly scrawled my name on the bottom of the form. The only way to succeed is to try, or something. 

We walked up to the booth and handed over our forms. The proctor handed us an earth scroll. I tried desperately to remember what scroll Naruto’s team had. Was it heaven? I thought it was but I couldn’t be sure.

One of the proctors led us to gate three. Some random memory breezed across my mind and reminded me that our team was also Team Three. Maybe this would be okay. Three happened to be my lucky number. 

Time ticked away slowly as we waited for the exam to begin. It was decided that Mai would be the one to hold the scroll. She was physically stronger than both me and Ryou and would be the best last defense for the scroll. Gan had even rejoined me, settling on my open shoulder. We all stiffened as the chunin moved to unlock the gate. 

“The second test of the chunin exam…” Anko’s booming voice echoed in the air. “Begins now!”

We burst through the gate, leaping into the trees to gain the high ground and get a decent lay of the immediate area. Mori and Gan landed on a slightly higher branch above us, their heads turning this way and that. 

“We need a plan,” Ryou broke the silence. 

“I agree,” I said with a nod. “I can send Gan ahead to scout out the area, find the safest route to the tower. No one is going to think a crow flying about a forest like this is weird, so he should be safe.”

Gan waited for Ryou and Mai to nod in agreement before taking off into the forest. 

“I think we should take out a team that already has both scrolls,” Mai suggested. “And then keep both. If we need to, we can use the extra we got as a bargaining chip.”

“That’s a little evil,” Ryou remarked. 

“Only a little,” Mai smirked. “Besides, if we leave them with the scroll we don’t need, they have chance to pass the exam and we’ll have to deal with them in the future. I’d rather take them out of the competition now then having them gunning for revenge later.”

“She has a point,” I agreed. “Let’s head deeper in. I doubt there will be a whole lot of teams with both scrolls this close to the fence.”

We had to move quickly. I didn’t know how long it would take for Orochimaru to reach Naruto and the others but it probably wouldn’t take terribly long. 

Our heads snapped up at the sound of a nearby scream. Mai’s smirk widened.

“Sounds like somebody’s already got two scrolls.”

We bounded through the trees, Mori flying along just behind us. Ryou pulled out a broken down quarter staff and snapped the pieces together. Mai ran through a series of hand signs, her hands glowing deep indigo. We paused just above a group of ninja from Ame, who stood around a pile of Suna ninja I didn’t recognize. The idiots from Ame hadn’t even put their scrolls away yet. 

Mai dropped to the ground, shoving her chakra into the soil and morphing it into a dark mud. The Ame ninjas shouted as they sunk knee deep into the mud. Ryou, chakra glowing on the soles of his shoes, slid over the top of the mud like a figure skater, using his staff to knock our opponents out with disturbing ease. Without the need for a command, Mori swooped down and caught the two scrolls before they fell into the mud, bringing them to me with a proud birdie smirk. Mai and Ryou returned to the branch, not even out of breath.

“That was too easy,” Mai huffed, crossing her arms. “I expected more of a challenge.”

A wave of killing intent slammed into me, forcing me to my knees. Ryou looked deathly pale and Mai had to throw a hand out to catch herself so she wouldn’t fall from her perch. Even Mori seemed shaken, flapping her wings frantically. That came from close by, from really close by.

“That…that’s no genin,” Mai gasped out, her voice trembling. 

“That didn’t even feel human,” Ryou whispered, almost as if he feared being over heard by the source. “It felt like….”

“Like a snake,” I finished. I rose to my feet, legs shaking. “Someone’s in serious trouble. We have to help them.”

“Are you nuts!?” Mai shouted, eyes wide with panic. “What the hell do you think we can do against whatever made THAT?”

“Not much,” I admitted. “But we can still get those kids out of there. And if we get them to the tower, then we can report what happened to one of the proctors. Something can be done. But whoever that…thing is facing is going to die if we don’t do something!”

They hesitated, but just for a moment, before nodding in agreement. We took off into the forest once more. I slid a hand into my weapons pouch and found a senbon. Technically, my summoning contract was just with Mori and Gan…but if I asked, maybe the rest of the flock would come. 

I glanced over my shoulder at Ryou. “Hey, can you perform the Hidden Mist technique?”

Ryou only nodded, his hands already running through the signs.

“Mai, you might need that swamp technique of yours ready.” I turned looked over my other shoulder to see her hands already glowing. 

I pricked my finger and we skidded to a halt on the branches just above Naruto’s team. Naruto stood between Sasuke and Orochimaru’s giant snake summons. We had a clear visual of all three of the Konoha genin, but Orochimaru wasn’t on the ground. Mai’s jutsu would be useless. 

“Ryou, use your mist to hide us. I’ll attempt to summon the flock to distract that bastard on the snake. Once they’re free, we grab the kids and run. Keep them as quiet as possible until we reach a safe distance.” I instructed, voice barely audible. Another nod from my teammates, and we began

I slammed my hand down on the branch, focusing on calling the flock. The Karasuno crows and ravens and even the magpies were loyal to us all. But Kourubi had never summoned the flock before, there was no way of knowing if I was capable of bringing them all or not. Ryou’s mist was already rolling in; I didn’t have much time to think to hard about it. 

Relief washed over me as some twenty-odd crows and ravens appeared in a cloud of smoke. They cawed loudly and dove for Orochimaru’s chakra signature.

“Don’t die,” I hissed to the largest of the ravens. “Kiku-sama will have my head if I hurt his chicks.”

Kiku was my father’s raven, the eldest of the family’s summons. Supposedly all the ravens from our flock could trace their lineage back to him. And he was fucking terrifying. 

With the flock released, I could worry about grabbing one of the genin. Ryou would have to grab Sakura, he was the weakest of us, physically speaking, and she was the lightest genin. I could just barely make out Mai’s shape as she snatched Naruto away from the giant snake. That left Sasuke in my care. 

A simple body flicker landed me behind the boy. One hand covered his mouth while my other arm wrapped around his waist. Another body flicker and we were out of the mist and running through the forest. I called for Gan, flaring my chakra for him to find. He was with us mere moments later, flying along in front of Mai, who led the charge. 

“This way, this way!” he crowed. “If you keep running at this pace you’ll be at the tower in no time!”

Sasuke struggled in my grip and I hauled him up onto my shoulder for easier carrying. “Stop wiggling you dumb fuck! You’re making it really hard to justify saving you!”

“Save us?” Sakura chirped from Ryou’s arms (he was carrying her like a princess, not a good idea in case of a combat situation, but it was a nice gesture nonetheless). “Why would you do that?”

“You felt it, didn’t you?” Mai questioned, holding Naruto up by his thighs as he clung to her back. “That wasn’t a genin. That was something totally different.”

“I think,” I panted. “That was Orochimaru.”

“The Sannin?” Ryou yelped, nearly dropping his cargo. 

“What other ninja feels like a snake?” I demanded. “I don’t know what he was after, but I bet it had something to do with the Littlest Uchiha here.”

Mai looked contemplative before speaking up. “Didn’t he want to learn all the jutsu in the world…and use that to become immortal or something? What better tool for learning jutsu is there than the Sharingan?” 

“Did he say anything to you?” Ryou asked softly.

Sasuke stiffened on my shoulder. “He said…I’d seek him out for the power to kill my brother.”

“Itachi?” I asked. He stiffened even more and I had to shift my grip to keep him from falling. “Now, I don’t know a whole lot about what happened that night, but I’ve heard a lot of things. I heard that Itachi was a genius. That he was kind and gentle and didn’t really have the disposition to be a killer. That he went mad and that’s why he killed the Uchiha. But here’s the thing about madness…

“It doesn’t leave survivors.”

Sasuke pushed up on my shoulder to stare at me. Shock and fury mixed in his red eyes but I kept my cool. I was honest when I said I didn’t know much about the situation behind the Massacre. But I knew there was more to it than Sasuke knew. If I was going to fix everything, I had to get others to work with me, even if they didn’t know they were doing it.

“What’s that saying our sensei are always repeating? Look underneath the underneath?” I glanced up to meet Sasuke’s eyes, red for red. “It’s just a thought.” 

Sasuke’s face twisted into something sour, but he said nothing, which was a miracle in and of itself. 

“What scroll do you have?” I asked.

“Are we seriously just going to give them the scroll?” Mai asked, something testy in her voice.

“They can’t get into the tower unless they have both scrolls, “ I reminded. “If we want them safe we can’t waste time finding them the other scroll. We weren’t going to use it for anything important anyway.”

Mai sighed in resignation and kept running.

Sasuke dug into his pack and pulled out the heaven scroll. Well, I guess I do get to be right every once in a while. Mori dropped the extra earth scroll he’d been carrying into his hands. We ran all through the night. At some point I felt the flock disperse. I could only hope that Orochimaru hadn’t killed any of them.


	4. In Which I am a Den Mother

The sun had just barely risen when we reached the tower, turning what sky we could see a peachy pink. The tower was taller than I expected it to be. Just like the training grounds, the building’s first floor was ringed with several doors, each one sealed shut. They were probably supposed to only have one team enter each door, but like hell I was going to leave the kids alone. Besides, we were older than them, more experienced. If no one believed them, then they might believe us. 

We opened the door to find an empty room. Upon the wall, high above us, was some kind of poster with lots and lots of writing on it. Ryou quickly slammed the doors shut, so no one could follow us in. I could only pray that we were safe for now. Orochimaru was an S-ranked missing nin, after all. There was no telling what he could do. 

Naruto and his team stared up at the scroll on the wall. 

“What the hell does this mean?” Naruto asked. 

I walked up to stand behind him; Ryou and Mai were at my side seconds later. 

“It looks like some words are missing,” Mai noted.

“This is probably about the scrolls,” Sakura reasoned. “I think they’re telling us to open them.”

Sasuke pulled the scrolls out of his pouch, handing one to each Naruto and Sakura. Mai pulled out our scrolls and gave Ryou and me a questioning look.

“Should we open ours as well?” she asked.

“I don’t really see the need,” Ryou shrugged. “If something happens with the kids that makes it obvious we’re supposed to open them, then we can. But otherwise I don’t see the point.”

The three of us moved to look over the younger genin’s shoulders as Naruto and Sakura pulled the scrolls open. The scrolls began to smoke and Sasuke yelled at his teammates to let go of the scrolls. Not only did they let go, they tossed them as far away as they could. The smoke cloud grew larger and larger. Ryou even laid a protective hand on Sakura’s shoulder.   
I could start to make out a figure in the smoke now as it slowly cleared away. The tension in Team Seven’s shoulders disappeared the moment the figure in the smoke was completely revealed to them.

Umino Iruka stood before us with his arms crossed and a proud smile on his face. “Hey! Long time no see.”

He took a moment to look surprised by my team’s presence. “Looks like you guys had some trouble.”

“You have no idea,” Ryou muttered, exhaustion evident in his sloppy posture.

“Huh? HUH?!! Why was Iruka-sensei summoned?” Naruto asked loudly, echoing the thoughts of his teammates.

“At the end of the second test, it’s set up so we chunin meet up with the exam takers,” Iruka explained patiently. “And I was allowed to be the one to greet you.” He pulled out a large pocket watch, a look of surprise on his face when he saw the time. He then looked back up at us. 

Mai held up the two scrolls without being asked. Iruka’s smile returned and fuck he was cute. Like, legitimately cute. 

“Well then. You’ve all passed the second test. Congratulations,” Iruka announced. He started to say something else, but Naruto, suddenly full of energy despite not having slept in over 24 hours, barreled into him

“WE DID IT!”

“H-hey Naruto, listen until the end…” Iruka scolded half-heartedly. 

Naruto ignored him, continuing to cheer loudly. I felt my stomach churn when Iruka’s face fell into a soft smile, his eyes warm and his fondness for Naruto obvious. Sakura and Sasuke fell to the floor, exhaustion over taking them. Ryou and Mai did the same, Ryou flopping down dramatically onto his back with a loud groan while Mai just laughed. Somehow, I managed to remain standing. 

“You sure haven’t changed,” Iruka noted, already looking a little tired. “You never could calm down for anything.”

Sasuke’s face shifted into a knowing smirk. “Hey, if we had opened the scrolls during the test…what were you going to do, Iruka-sensei?”

Iruka huffed and bent down to pick up the discarded earth scroll we’d given the younger genin. “You’re sharp as ever, Sasuke. As you may have figured out, this test’s rules are set up to test your ability to perform missions correctly. So if you were to break the rules and open the scrolls…well, those who opened them would be put in a condition of unconsciousness for the remainder of the testing period. Those were my orders.”

Naruto and Sakura blanched. Obviously they had been tempted to open it earlier. I huffed and reached out to ruffle Naruto’s sunshine hair affectionately.

“I guess it’s good you didn’t open your scroll, huh, Sunshine,” I joked, laughing a little at Naruto’s distressed expression.

I could feel Iruka’s eyes on me. When I raised my eyes to meet his, I just barely managed to catch the strange look he was giving me before he looked away. I frowned, pulling my hand back from Naruto’s head. I’d always known Iruka to be pretty open with his expressions in the manga and anime, but I couldn’t read the look in his eyes. That…worried me, somewhat.

Lucky for me, Sakura spoke up, asking Iruka about the scroll on the wall. Naruto didn’t seem to be too worried about it. But Iruka insisted he was there to explain the writing as well.

“Read it,” he instructed. “This is the motto of the chunin, written by Hokage-sama.”

“Motto?” Naruto parroted. 

“That’s right. The ‘heaven’ in this paragraph refers to the human mind, and the ‘earth’ refers to the human body. ‘If you lack heaven, seek wisdom, be prepared.’ That’s basically saying…for example, if Naruto’s weakness is his brain, then he needs to gain knowledge and prepare for the missions.”

Naruto pouted at the playful put down. Sakura giggled behind her hand. But Iruka wasn’t about to let her off the hook either it seemed.

“’If you lack earth, run in the fields, seek advantages’,” he continued, stopping Sakura’s giggles. “So if Sakura’s weakness is stamina, then it’s saying that you must continue to train hard. And if you have both heaven and earth, you can succeed in even the most dangerous missions.”

“Then…what’s the part with the missing word?” Sakura asked. 

Iruka smiled once more, lifting the summoning scroll. “So…the words that represent a chunin…the word for ‘human’ from the scrolls goes there. The last sentence is ‘these rules will guide a person’s extremes.’ These five days of survival, though I suppose yours was just one, were to test the exam taker’s basic abilities needed to become a chunin. And you guys successfully passed that. Chunin are at the rank of a military captain, you have the responsibility of guiding a team. The knowledge, stamina, and inner wisdom, all are needed for your duties. I want you guys to challenge the next step with this chunin motto in mind.”

There was a pause and Iruka took a deep breath before concluding, “That is…all I have to pass on to you.”

Naruto threw him a salute. “Roger!”

Iruka’s face didn’t match Naruto’s excited tone. Naruto’s smile fell from his face, his posture wavering. I suddenly felt like I was eavesdropping on something terribly personal. I hadn’t been Iruka’s student. The concern in his eyes wasn’t for me. 

“This third and final test…don’t push yourselves too hard,” Iruka cautioned. “Especially you Naruto, I worry about you the…”

“From the moment I received this forehead protector I was no longer an academy student!” Naruto interrupted with his usual vigor. “There’s no need to worry. This is the symbol that I’m all grown up, right?! The part about me never calming down may not have changed, but I’m not a kid anymore! Now, I’m a ninja.”

Iruka’s face looked pained, as if he’d always known the truth but hadn’t wanted to admit it. My heart went out to the guy. Even if Naruto was seen as an adult by the rest of Konoha, Iruka still saw him as his student and little brother. He probably always would.

“I see…I’m sorry, Naruto.”

“I wouldn’t be,” I spoke up, earning surprised looks from everyone in the room. “There’s nothing wrong with worrying about those you have a close bond with. I’m much older than Sunshine here and I’m sure my mother would be saying the same thing to me. Don’t apologize for you’re compassion, Iruka-sensei.”

Iruka blinked. “Who…is your mother?”

“Karasuno Ruki,” I said, the name sounding odd on my tongue. Kourubi never called her mother by her name, so saying it felt weird even to me. “She used to teach at the academy.”

“Ah! You’re Ruki-senpai’s daughter?” Iruka crossed the space between us quickly. “That must mean you’re…”

“Karasuno Kourubi,” I introduced, holding out my hand for Iruka to shake and flashing him the closest thing I could get to a coy smile. “And I’m starting to wish you’d been my instructor at the academy.” God, was I doing this right? I’d never flirted with anyone before. How was this supposed to work exactly?

Iruka looked confused for a moment. But then realization seemed to dawn on him and his face turned pink and he deliberately avoided eye contact. Naruto, the little shit, seemed to figure out what was going on pretty damn fast and grinned broadly at the two of us. Brat even waggled his eyebrows at us. 

“Now that the introductions are out of the way,” I said, taking my hand back from Iruka’s suddenly clammy one. “There’s something very important we need to talk about, preferably with our jonin instructors present.”

Iruka’s flushed face turned hard, chunin mode activated. “What are you talking about?”

“There’s someone in the forest that’s not supposed to be there,” I informed him, Ryou and Mai moving to stand beside me in solidarity. “They purposefully sought out and attacked Sasuke and probably would have killed Naruto and Sakura if we hadn’t interfered. And…and we think they may have been Orochimaru.”

Iruka’s normally tan face went deathly white, his eyes wide in shock and his mouth flapping like a fish as he tried to find words. 

“That…is a very serious accusation,” Iruka managed to say. “What evidence do you have?”

“Not much,” Mai admitted. “But…I don’t know any other ninjas who summon giant snakes.”

“The bastard didn’t even feel human,” Ryou muttered, scowling. “It was like he himself was a snake.”

Iruka’s face was stony. It looked like we’d managed to convince him that SOMETHING was happening, even if we weren’t entirely sure what. He pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed deeply before jerking his head in the direction of a door that I was fairly certain wasn’t there before. The six of us followed close behind him. He took us deeper into the tower, finally coming to a set of double doors. He pushed them open; revealing a large, lounge like room. Couches and armchairs were scattered about the room in small groups. There was a radio in the corner, a small buffet laden with hot and cold foods, and a shelf of fiction books up against a wall. This, I assumed, was the waiting room for those who got to the tower before the five days were up. It was empty. I hadn’t thought about the fact we were probably the first ones done. How we were faster than Gaara’s team was beyond my understanding, but they probably weren’t far behind. 

“Stay here,” Iruka instructed. “I will go and attempt to contact your jonin instructors. Do not leave this room until they arrive. Get some food in your stomachs and rest. I’ll be back as soon as possible.”

Despite not having any food since lunch the day of the first exam, I was in no mood to eat. Instead, I headed straight for a three-seater couch, flopping oh so gracefully down in the middle. I closed my eyes and let my head fall against the back of the couch, throwing my arms over the back for good measure. I felt the couch cushions dip as two weights settled down next to me. I opened my eyes, expecting to see Ryou and Mai on either side of me. Instead, on my right was Naruto, who had finally run out of energy. He was curled up against my side, already snoring slightly. What I wouldn’t give to be able to konk out no matter the situation like he could. On my left was Sasuke. He sat up straight a few centimeters from me, obviously not fully comfortable with seeking the same physical comfort Naruto had demanded. I moved my arm from the back of the couch to wrap around his shoulders, pulling him against my side. He stiffened at the contact, but slowly seem to relax. Eventually his head rested against my shoulder and his eyes drifted shut. Sakura stood a few feet away, shifting indecisively. Mai and Ryou had taken up the two single armchairs in the immediate area, leaving her with nowhere to sit. I smiled softly at her, moving my other arm to pat my lap.

“You can sit on my lap if you want, sweetie,” I offered. “It’s not a bother.”

Sakura seemed to hesitate for a moment before throwing caution to the wind and climbing into my lap, sitting sideways so her head rested on the shoulder not occupied by Sasuke. Mori and Gan had long since excused themselves, slipping away in a cloud of smoke like most ninja summons usually did. They were just as tired as the rest of us. And besides, they had a flock to check on. With Naruto snoring softly on my one side, Sasuke’s deep, slow breathing on my other, and the feeling of Sakura’s steady heartbeat against mine, the tension melted from my shoulders and I drifted off to sleep. 

I awoke to a hand shaking my arm. I groaned as I opened my eyes and blinked against the bright lights. Team Seven had yet to move from their positions around me, that much I could tell from the weight against my body. My neck cracked painfully as I lifted it from the back of the couch. I winced at the pain and rolled my neck slowly to work out any kinks that were left. A chuckle brought my attention back to the situation at hand. Oh yeah, someone had woken me up. And they’d better have a fucking good reason for it. 

I finally faced my visitors to see Noboru-sensei standing in front of me, a look of concern on his face. Just behind him were Kakashi, Iruka, and even the goddamn Hokage. Well, shit. I wasn’t expecting to meet him, like ever. Everyone except Noboru-sensei seemed very amused by my current situation. Nothing had really changed since I’d fallen asleep, save for Naruto’s uncurling from the tight fetal position he’d fallen asleep in. I wondered, briefly, what Kakashi thought of the whole thing. 

“Hi, Noboru-sensei,” I greeted, my voice deep from sleep. “What can I do for you?”

“You can tell me how the fuck you managed to face an S-rank missing nin and survive!” He hissed, obviously angry but not wanting to wake up the sleeping little ones.

“Mostly because we didn’t actually face him,” I admitted. 

“Mostly we hid and ran like cowards,” Ryou corrected, his voice slurred from sleep. “Her birds did more work than we did.”

“But you believe us about the whole Orochimaru thing?” Mai asked, and how she looked so damn awake and alert I’d never know.

“Yes,” the Hokage spoke, his voice grim. “We have received reports from Anko and our other proctors about his activity. He readily told Anko he was after Sasuke-kun.”

“So what are we gonna do?” 

The Hokage took a puff from his pipe (which smelled awful) and frowned. “We will be continuing the exam as planned. It would not do to provoke Orochimaru too soon. But we will be keeping an eye on his movements.”

“That’s it!?” I shouted, startling the little ones awake. “You’re just going to continue as if nothing happened? What about Sasuke-kun? What will you do with him? There’s no way Orochimaru is going to walk away after one failed attempt!”

Team Seven looked to the Hokage and their sensei. Sakura’s small fist clenched tightly in the fabric of my shirt. I could feel Naruto’s whole body shaking against mine; out of anger or fear I couldn’t say. Sasuke was stiff against my side. These were children, small children that needed my protection no matter what anyone else said. 

“What do you suggest we do?” the Hokage asked smoothly. 

I tightened my grip on Sasuke’s shoulder. “We’ll protect him.”

The four older ninja blinked in surprise at my declaration, which was probably ruined by the fact I had three children piled around me. 

“The Karasuno clan isn’t very big, but we have plenty of strong ninja,” I elaborated. “We will look after Sasuke until the issue is taken care of. And if that doesn’t seem to be enough for you, then post ANBU guards around the compound. But I refuse to let you throw this boy to the wolves like you did with Naruto!”

A heavy silence fell across the room. That last sentence probably fucked me over, but dammit I meant what I said. The fact that they allowed Naruto to be treated like shit for so long bothered the hell out of me and I wasn’t going to let them neglect Sasuke in the same way. I could only hope I looked as determined as I felt.

“Very well,” the Hokage said stiffly, “We will leave Sasuke-kun in your care. Will you be informing your clan head or shall we?”

“I’ll tell him,” I snapped. Like hell I was going to let these idiots tell tou-san their side of the story first.

The Hokage nodded and then turned and left. I gave a loud sigh, slumping against the couch again. “That was scary.”

“You sure didn’t act scared,” Noboru-sensei muttered, rubbing at his temples.

“Never show the enemy your fear,” I recited.

“The Hokage is not your enemy, stupid child,” Noboru reminded with a long-suffering sigh.

“He’s not acting like much of an ally either,” I shot back. 

“My question is,” I and the other genin turned to look at Kakashi, “Why would you offer up your home and possibly the lives of your clansmen to protect a boy you don’t even really know?”

“You mean other than it’s the right thing to do?” I snarked.

Kakashi’s face was unreadable.

I took a deep breath before attempting to explain. “Because he’s a child…a child who a grown ass man is trying to hurt and take advantage of. Because I hope that if I was in that situation, someone would do the same for me. Because…I like Sunshine…I mean Naruto. And from what I can tell Sasuke is important to him. Which makes Sasuke important to me.”

“You don’t even know him,” Kakashi reminded me.

“Doesn’t matter,” I insisted. “I’d risk my life to protect you, too.”

Kakashi’s one visible eye widened ever so slightly before his mask of impassiveness returned. Noboru-sensei almost looked proud of me. I caught a glance of Naruto’s bright smile out of the corner of my eye. Sakura also seemed pleased with my decision. Sasuke’s expression was harder to read. It seemed like a strange mixture of awe and confusion and maybe a little bit of resentment in a ‘don’t you pity me’ sort of way. Iruka’s warm smile was back where it belonged, but this time it was for me and fuck if that didn’t bring the butterflies back…or was that just me fucking starving?

My stomach growled loudly, startling Sakura. Ryou laughed loudly from where he was sprawled over his armchair. Mai just snorted and looked a little embarrassed for me.

“Okay, kiddos, time to get up,” I announced, shifting slightly. “I’m starving and I’m sure you are too. C’mon, there’s food over there and I haven’t eaten in like two days.”

Sakura slid off my lap and Naruto bounced up from the couch. I stood, stretching quickly and wincing when I heard my back pop. Sasuke remained firmly seated on the couch until I turned and pulled him from his spot. His pout was honestly kinda adorable. He was a cute kid when he wasn’t being an asshole. 

We wandered over to the buffet and I specifically heard Ryou mutter something about mama ducks and ducklings. Mai made a noise of agreement and our instructors gave short little laughs. I ignored them and snuck vegetable tempura onto Naruto’s plate as he poured himself a bowl of miso soup and grumbled about the lack of ramen. 

“How long were we out?” I asked over my shoulder, piling my plate high with tempura prawns and fried rice.

“About three hours,” Noboru informed us.

“Only three hours?” Ryou echoed incredulously. “No wonder I still feel like shit.”

“Language,” Iruka warned. Ryou made a constipated face at that and I couldn’t help but giggle. 

“Oh, by the way Noboru-sensei,” my voice became sugary sweet even as my face morphed into what was probably the fakest, most terrifying smile I’d ever given a man. “When were you going to tell us you had a boyfriend?”

“YEAH!” Mai and Ryou agreed loudly in unison.

Noboru’s cheeks flushed and he hid his face behind his hand. “So you met Gai, huh?”

“He’s fucking weird, sensei,” Ryou stated plainly. “Why would you date that guy?”

Noboru seemed to contemplate the question for a moment before raising his hands and holding them something like eight inches apart. Ryou’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped. Mai made a scandalized face and I just burst into laughter. Iruka’s face flushed bright red at the implication but Kakashi looked unmoved by the whole thing. 

“Daaaaaaaammmmmnnnnnn,” Ryou breathed, suddenly having a new found respect for our sensei. 

“If we’re done,” Iruka snapped, trying to move past the conversation at hand. “Then we’ll get out of your hair and let you rest. Now that you’ve finished the exam you’re not allowed to fight with or attack any of the other teams. And try not to destroy the room.”

“Yes, sir,” the three younger genin chorused. 

“Nice to see you again, Iruka-sensei,” I called with a wave. “You too, Kakashi-sensei.”

“She never says it’s nice to see me again,” Noboru muttered bitterly as he closed the double doors behind them.

“How do you know Kakashi-sensei?” Sakura asked in mild curiosity.

Mai shrugged. “We ran into him outside the first test’s classroom. But I don’t remember him giving us his name.”

Shit. “Yeah, but who hasn’t heard of Hatake Kakashi?”

Mai and Ryou shrugged. Oh thank god they believed the bullshit. 

 

Several hours passed before the next group entered the room. Naruto jumped up and shouted at Gaara’s team in recognition. Sakura tugged him back down onto the couch and hissed a warning at him. Sasuke’s gaze followed Gaara around the room for a while until he was satisfied that the Suna ninja wasn’t going to attack us. The kids were still piled around me, the only difference was that Sakura had gotten bored of sitting in my lap and forced Naruto to switch with her. Not that I minded. Sakura was a little bony and not great to hug (yet). Naruto, however, had managed to hold onto his baby fat (probably from eating ramen all the time) and was just the perfect amount of squishy to make him fantastic to hug. Sasuke had decided to press more solidly up against my side since the incident with the Hokage. 

Fuck, what the hell was I even doing? This wasn’t part of the plan! Okay, granted I didn’t really have a plan but still! I didn’t even like Sasuke, I never did! I sighed out loud, resting my chin on Naruto’s shoulder as he recounted some probably exaggerated tale of their early missions. What was that about a demon cat?

The six of us perked up when the doors opened once more. I glared at the three Sound genin as they wandered through the door. Despite the fact we were told on no uncertain terms not to fight, I had no doubt they’d find some way to harass us. My arms tightened around Naruto’s waist, earning me concerned looks from my teammates and the younger genin. If the Sound team noticed my glare, they didn’t do anything about it. 

“What’s wrong?” Ryou asked quietly, leaning forward across the space between the couch and his armchair.

“I don’t trust those guys,” I said plainly. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of Otokagure before this exam.”

“What are you saying?” Mai murmured, her warm brown eyes following the Sound nin.

“Nothing yet…but I think we should keep them away from Sasuke as much as possible…if you know what I mean.”

“Seriously?” Naruto shouted (right into my ear, fucking ow).

“Shhhh,” I hissed. “It’s just a theory. But doesn’t it strike you as odd the year Orochimaru shows up there’s three genin from a village no one’s really heard of before?”

They seemed to take my warning to heart, at least. Sakura eventually got up and wandered over to a small side door that led to a hall with restrooms. Not long after, the Sound kunoichi went the same way. A wave of suspicion hit my gut and I quickly moved Naruto off my lap and stood.

“I’ll be right back.”

I followed them down the hallway until I came to the girl’s restroom. It was soft, but I could definitely hear the sounds of a confrontation. I opened the door slowly to find Sakura on her knees, the Sound kunoichi’s hand fisted painfully in her hair.

“Your hair is so nice,” the Sound kunoichi mocked, a devious grin on her face. “So soft and shiny. Makes me a little jealous. You know…if you have this much time to spend on your hair, you have plenty of time to train, but look how weak you are. It’s pathetic!”

“Let her go,” I ordered, fully stepping into the room. 

The Sound nin smirked at me. “Or what? You’ll fight me? That’ll only get you disqualified.”

Dammit, she was right. If I stepped in, she could report me for fighting. Even though she was hurting Sakura, she wasn’t technically fighting her. I grimaced at the fat tears rolling down Sakura’s face. I wanted to help, honestly I did, but there wasn’t anything I could do without risking disqualification…and then I wouldn’t be able to protect anyone.

I saw Sakura’s shaking hand go to the holster on her thigh. Ah…well, I suppose her hair had to get cut at some point, since I hadn’t given her the opportunity to do it in the forest. 

“What? You gonna use that kunai on me? Are you that desperate to get disqualified?”

Sakura smirked. “It’s not for you.”

The look on the Sound nin’s face as Sakura’s kunai cut through her hair without hesitation was priceless. Sakura, now free, tumbled forward and rushed to my side. I grabbed her about the shoulder and pulled her behind me. Never was I more grateful for my freaky red eyes than now as I glared at the enemy kunoichi, who stood stunned with a clump of Sakura’s pretty hair in her hand. She scowled and tossed the hair to the floor and stalked out. 

I sighed, letting my anger fall away, and turned to Sakura. “You okay, sweetie?”

Sakura nodded, a hand coming up to her unevenly shorn locks. “Kourubi-san...what do you think of me?”

“Hmm?”

“I know I’m really weak…and I even though I’m smart I can’t even think my way out of situations like a shinobi should…” Sakura murmured, looking at the floor. I could see tears prickling at her eyes again. “Am I really worthless?”

“Of course not!” I insisted gently, letting my hands rest on her shoulders. “No one is worthless, Sakura.”

“But I…when Orochimaru attacked us I felt so useless. I couldn’t do anything! I couldn’t protect Sasuke-kun or Naruto. I’m not…strong like you and Mai-san are.”

“Well, not yet at least.” Sakura looked up at me. “You’re still young, Sakura. I’ve been doing this shinobi thing a lot longer than you have, so I’m afraid I have you at a disadvantage. But every ninja has their strengths and weaknesses. Mai is super strong but she burns through her chakra super fast. Ryou has the best chakra control out of any of us and is great at genjutsu but he’s super weak. I have a huge chakra reserve and I’m pretty fast but I can’t work my way around a genjutsu to save my life. That’s why we’re in teams.”

“But…”

“Hey, have you ever heard of Tsunade?” I asked before Sakura could insult herself some more.

“I don’t think so?”

“She’s one of the Sannin, like Orochimaru, but she’s one of the good guys. She’s the best medic ninja in the world, and she’s also super strong. With chakra control like yours, I bet you could be just like her if you apply yourself!” 

“You think so?” God, it was almost like she’d never been encouraged ever either. These poor kids. I needed to give Kakashi a good talking to next time I saw him. 

“I know so! Now c’mon. I bet Sunshine and Sasuke are worried about you.”

“Hey, Kourubi-san?” Sakura called as she followed after me out the door. “How come you call Naruto ‘Sunshine’?”

“It’s fitting, isn’t it?” I chuckled. “He’s just so bright and positive even after being treated horribly his whole life. His smile just lights up the room, ya know? He just…sunshine incarnate: bright and warm and there for everyone.”

Sakura seemed to ponder this as we entered the main room once again and our teammates looked up at us. Their faces twisted into shock at the sight of Sakura’s hair and Naruto and Sasuke both jumped up and rushed over. 

“Sakura-chan, what happened to your hair?” Naruto asked, reaching out like he wanted to touch it but flinching away before he got too close.

“Who did this to you?” Sasuke demanded, his eyes flashing dangerously. “Was it that Sound ninja?”

“Calm down, little lion man, she’s fine,” I soothed (and held back a giggle as his face scrunched up at the nickname). “Yes, the kunoichi was harassing her, but Sakura took care of it, didn’t you?”

Sakura flushed a pretty pink and nodded shyly. Sasuke’s glare shifted over to the three Sound shinobi in the corner. Naruto’s attention was focused solely on Sakura, concern apparent on his face. 

“She didn’t hurt you, did she?” he murmured, which was much different from his usual shouting. 

Sakura shook her head. “If she had, she’d have been disqualified. I’m fine, Naruto. I promise.”

Neither of her teammates seemed wholly convinced, but Naruto smiled anyway. Something in Sakura’s eyes suggested she was starting to understand why I called him ‘sunshine’.


	5. In Which I Get My Music Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the last daily upload for Self Insert Week. From now on, starting next Monday, this will be slotted into my usual 'every other Monday' posting schedule. Thank you all for your positive response and I hope you'll continue to enjoy Kourubi's adventures.

I spent the next three days working on my genjutsu as teams slowly filtered in. Kiba’s team was the fourth to show up, all of them genuinely surprised that Naruto’s team had made it before them (apparently we broke some record from fifty years ago or something). Lee’s team showed up not long after. Lee seemed truly happy to see Sakura and her team had succeed, and asked if she was alright after seeing the mess she’d made of her hair. She assured him that she was fine, her smile only a little forced, and that they made it here with our help. I insisted they would have passed the test without our help, but would have been much worse for wear. Team Seven seemed to understand the implication if Sasuke’s white knuckled fists were anything to go by. Ino’s team didn’t show up until the fourth day, looking ragged. 

I sat on the floor just in front of the couch, running through hand signs as I went over the notes I had taken in a tiny notebook. Developing a genjutsu, especially when you didn’t have any talent for it, was fucking hard! I’d been working steadily on it ever since kaa-san had given me that short tutoring session before the first test, but no real progress had been made. I could feel the chakra pool in my chest and a few times I thought I made something happen. But each time I was left disappointed. How were you supposed to be able to tell a genjutsu was working anyway? It wasn’t something I would experience myself so…

I sighed, leaning back to rest my neck on the edge of the couch cushions. Naruto, who was hanging upside down on the couch in an attempt to relieve his boredom, turned his head to look at me.

“What’cha workin’ on, nee-chan?” he asked. 

“I’m trying to develop a genjutsu but I freakin’ suck at genjutsu so it’s not working!” I whined. 

Ryou shrugged. “You don’t really have the chakra control for it. Genjutsu is a delicate thing. You know you suck at them so why are you trying to develop one?”

“I have my reasons,” I dismissed, sitting upright again and turning my attention back to my notes. My reason really was purely selfish. I wanted to hear the music I loved again. And if genjutsu was the only way, then so be it. 

I cycled through my chosen signs again. Ram-rat-snake-dragon. I could feel the chakra building up in my chest. Then…I felt it smooth over my skin and into the air, thrumming, vibrating. I could hear something, but it was faint. I pushed more chakra out and into the air and the sound grew louder. The occupants of the room stopped what they were doing to listen. 

“Do you hear it?” I asked. “You can hear that right?”

“Yeah,” Mai said, confusion in her voice. “What is that?”

I laughed hysterically. It worked! I made it work. The familiar song filled the whole room. Sasuke made to break the genjutsu but I scrambled up to my feet to stop him.

“No! Don’t do that! Listen! You gotta listen! This song is so important!” 

My teammates and the other genin in the room looked at me like I was crazy but I didn’t care. I had to make my point clear.

So I sang along.

“Say everything you’ve always wanted,  
Be not afraid of who you really are,  
Cause in the end we have each other,  
And that’s at least one thing worth living for.  
And I will give the world to you.”

The look on Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto’s face as I sang directly to them was priceless. I couldn’t keep the brilliant smile off my face. Before, back in my other life, the song had been nothing more than that, a song. But here, those words had meaning. I could sing them with conviction because I honestly would give the world to these dumb kids. I wondered briefly if there were cameras in the room. Probably, had to make sure we didn’t fight somehow. I probably looked a little silly, especially when I grabbed Naruto by the hands and twirled him around in time to the music, but I didn’t care. I was fucking delighted. Like really and truly happy. 

“Would you please stop that stupid racket?!” Kankuro shouted in our direction. 

I frowned and Naruto, who had been beaming just as bright as I had, scowled in the Sand ninja’s direction. 

“Why? It’s not like it’s hurting anyone? Maybe if you pulled your dumb looking head out of your ass you could enjoy it like the rest of us!”

“Alright, Sunshine, that’s enough.” I soothed, setting my hands on Naruto’s hunched up shoulders. “The song’s already over anyway. I’m glad you enjoyed it though.”

Naruto stuck his tongue out at Kankuro before turning to grin up at me, his face tinged pink. I ruffled his hair and pulled him back to the couch, where he settled beside me. At least I’d managed to dance his restlessness out for the time being. 

Ryou and Mai stared at me, their looks some kind of cross between confusion and mild concern. When I turned to meet their gazes, however, they forced their faces into masks of impassiveness. Were they suspicious of me now? I hoped not, but they were ninja and knew more about Kourubi’s personality then I did. Mori said we were similar, but that didn’t mean we were the same. 

I looked around the room to take my mind off it. Most of the teams that were supposed to be there had already arrived. The only one I could tell was missing was Kabuto’s team. And who knew when they would show up. 

The doors opened and every head in the room turned to watch a team I didn’t recognize saunter in. It was another Suna team; led by a boy with the palest blonde hair I’d seen yet, almost platinum in color. His eyes scanned the room with an air of disdain, like he felt like he was too good to be with the ‘riffraff’ or something. His teammates looked equally unimpressed by the turn out. They shuffled off into an unoccupied corner and pointedly refused to talk to anyone. 

“They seem friendly,” Ryou muttered under his breath. 

 

Kabuto’s team did eventually show up, Kabuto continuing to be friendly with the rookie genin. He didn’t seem to pay any attention to my team, but he was spy for a reason. If he was paying attention, I doubt I’d be able to notice it. He mentioned briefly how they’d just barely passed the exam. That meant the five days were almost up and the preliminaries for the third test would begin soon. There were twenty-seven of us in the room. If Kabuto left like he was supposed to, that meant that there would be thirteen matches. And if Ino and Sakura’s match ended in a double knock out like in the story, that meant twelve genin would proceed to the final round. I had to make sure I was one of those genin. 

Sure enough, not long after Kabuto’s team entered the room, a chunin I didn’t recognize appeared in the doorway and ordered us to follow him. We trailed after in single file through a series of twisting corridors until he deposited us in a room much larger than the lounge we’d occupied for the past few days. A large statue of two hands coming together to form the ram seal occupied the far wall. In front of it, on a small dais, stood our jonin instructors along with Anko, Ibiki, a few of the chunin (including Iruka) and even the Hokage. 

We stood in neat columns before them, separated into our teams. I stood in front, which only made sense given that I was the shortest on our team. Naruto stood next to me, a proud smirk on his lips. On my other side was Hyuuga Neji, who looked far less pleased to be here. God, even being the shortest of my team I still towered over most of the other genin. They were tiny! The only ones taller than me were Kabuto and his team. To be fair, they were probably around my age. 

I focused my gaze on the jonin instructors just behind the Hokage. Noboru-sensei stood at ease next to Gai. I was a little surprise to see how tall Noboru-sensei was. He was almost the same height as Gai, who seemed pretty damn tall. On Gai’s other side was Kakashi, slouching like he always seemed to be. Gai turned his head slightly to say something to Kakashi. I couldn’t hear what it was, but whatever Kakashi said seemed to upset Gai. Without looking, Noboru reached out and set a soothing hand on Gai’s arm. Watching them…I had to admit they were kinda cute. 

My eyes continued to scan the elite ninja present. Iruka caught my gaze and I smiled at him. I felt giddy when he smiled back, giving me a short wave. I could see Naruto grinning up at me out of the corner of my eye. Stupid kid…of course my crush on his teacher would be the one thing he was able to pick up on super fast. 

“First off, congratulations on passing the second test!” Anko announced. “Hokage-sama will now explain the third test, so listen carefully! Hokage-sama, if you would.”

“Of course,” the Hokage cleared his throat loudly. “Before I explain the third test, there is something I’d like you to know. It concerns the true reason for this exam.”

Many of the genin around me made noises of surprise. Naruto started shifting nervously.

“Why do we have all the allied countries taking the exam together?” the Hokage asked rhetorically. “’To promote friendship among the countries.’ ‘To raise the level of shinobi.’ I don’t want you to be confused about the true meaning. This exam is…a replacement for war among the allied countries.”

“So instead of fighting an actual war, you let your youth battle it out and die for you in blood sports instead?” I snapped, drawing the eyes of the other shinobi in the room. Noboru-sensei paled at my accusation. “For what? Prestige? So you get more clients?”

“In order to prevent wasteful fighting,” the Hokage continued as if I hadn’t spoken at all. “The chunin selection exams became the stage these countries chose for battle.”

“Why the hell do we have to do that crap?” Naruto shouted. “Isn’t this for deciding who gets to be a chunin?”

“This exam does, in fact, decide which shinobi have what it takes to become a chunin,” the Hokage agreed. “But on the other hand, this exam is also where each country’s shinobi risk their lives to protect their land’s prestige.”

“So it is about prestige…” Ino muttered, scowling. 

The Hokage nodded solemnly. “Leaders and influential individuals from many countries will be watching this third exam. These are the people who make up the clients of the shinobi. And the leaders of the countries will also be there to watch your battles. If the strength of a country is clear, that country will receive more clients. And conversely, if it is seen as weak, they will lose clients. And this will signal to potential enemy countries that ‘our village has this much power.’ It is just as much about this political message than anything else.”

The tension in the room was palpable. 

“Yeah, but why?” Kiba shouted from Naruto’s other side. “Why do we have to risk our lives for something like that?!”

My eyes met Iruka’s, his brows furrowed in concern. But there was an anger in his eyes as well. As if he hated that we had to know this.

“The strength of the country is the strength of the village,” the Hokage attempted to explain. “The strength of the village is the strength of the shinobi. And a shinobi’s true strength is born only through life-risking battle. This exam is a place to see each country’s strength and to show off your own strength. It only has meaning because lives are at risk. And that’s why those that have come before you have fought in the chunin exam for this dream.”

“But then why…” Tenten interrupted. “Do you say stuff about it being for friendship?”

The Hokage’s eyes narrowed. “I said in the beginning, I don’t want you to confuse the purpose of this. By losing life and stabling balance. This is the shape of friendship in the world of the shinobi.”

“That sounds like a pretty fucking toxic relationship to me,” Ryou muttered, but even this echoed in the room. 

The Hokage’s frown only deepened. “Before we begin the third test, I will tell you one more thing. This is not just a test…this is a life-risking battle with your dreams and your country’s prestige on the line.”

A heavy silence fell over the room. I couldn’t care less about the Land of Fire’s prestige. I was only there to look after Naruto and Sasuke and Sakura. And maybe Lee once his match with Gaara rolled around. And Mai and Ryou if they needed it. And Hinata…actually it was best to assume I was going to protect every single little one in this room if I had to. 

“I don’t care what it is,” Gaara spoke, his raspy voice sending a chill down my spine. “Just hurry up and tell us what this life-risking battle entails.”

“Yes…” The Hokage sighed. “I’d like to explain the third test now, but…”

A cough interrupted the Hokage. “Actually…”

A man appeared suddenly in front of the Hokage, bent over on one knee. “I apologize, Hokage-sama. From here on out…please allow me, Gekkou Hayate, as the referee…”

“Go ahead,” the Hokage allowed with a nod. 

The man stood slowly. “Hello everyone, I’m Hayate.” He turned to face us, and I winced at his appearance. His face was pale and he had terrible dark shadows under his eyes. He coughed near constantly and he just all together looked like someone who did not need to be a ninja. “Before the third test, there’s something I’d like you to do…”

A murmur broke out over the genin. Hayate ignored it and continued on.

“Umm…it’s a preliminary for the third test to decide who gets to participate in the main event.”

“A preliminary?” Sakura echoed quietly.

“Preliminary?” Shikamaru shouted. “What do you mean?”

“Sensei, why aren’t all the people here allowed to participate in the next test?” Sakura asked, her voice much louder than it had been. 

Hayate coughed loudly before answering. “Ummm…because the first and second test may have been too easy this year…we have a few too many people remaining. According to chunin exam rules, we must have a preliminary and reduce the number of participants for the third test. As Hokage-sama indicated earlier, there will be many guests and the third test…so the fights could take too long…and we’re limited in time…

“Umm…so anyway…those who are not feeling well or those who feel like quitting after these explanations, please come forward now. Since we’ll be starting the preliminary immediately…”

The genin shifted nervously and whispered amongst them. As expected, Kabuto backed out. Hayate took this time to inform everyone that the test would be taken individually from that point on. No one else backed out, leaving twenty-six genin to battle it out. 

“Umm…now we’ll begin the preliminary,” Hayate announced, holding back another coughing fit. “This preliminary will consist of one on one bouts. You will basically fight as if in a real life confrontation. Since we have twenty-six entrants, we will conduct thirteen matches and um…the winners will advance to the third test.

“There are basically no rules. The fight continues until one of you dies or is knocked out or admits your defeat. Umm…if you don’t want to die then quickly acknowledge your defeat. But when I decide that the winner has clearly been established, I reserve the right to jump in and stop things. We don’t want to pointlessly increase the amount of corpses,” Hayate continued. “And the thing that controls your destiny is…”

He paused as a panel in the wall lifted up and revealed the electronic scoreboard.

“…Is this. This electronic scoreboard will show the match-ups for each battle. Now, this is sudden but let’s announce the two names of the first fight.”

It seemed like everyone in the room held their breath as they stared up at the blank scoreboard. After what felt like hours two names finally appeared on the screen.

Uchiha Sasuke and Akado Yoroi.

I glanced at Sasuke’s opponent. His face was mostly hidden behind a black veil. His eyes were what bugged me the most. It was almost as if he didn’t have any, just two black, glass circles. I forgot what the hell it was he could do, so it probably wasn’t very impressive. 

Hayate instructed us to move to either one of the two viewing platforms that ran along the two longer walls of the room. Ryou, Mai, and I waited for Noboru to join us before climbing the stairs to the gallery. I was surprised to see that Iruka was staying. I didn’t remember him doing that in the anime or manga, but I didn’t mind in the slightest. I sent a small smile his way as Naruto tugged him towards the middle of the platform. My team and Gai’s stood with them, Lee and I on either side of Naruto. 

The fight began shortly. Yoroi threw a series of shuriken Sasuke’s way, which he quickly knocked away with a kunai. Something threw Sasuke off balance, and he fell to the floor, just barely dodging Yoroi’s glowing hand. Sasuke managed to take Yoroi down, grappling him into an impressive looking hold. 

But then Yoroi twisted his hand around to grab at Sasuke’s chest. Sasuke’s arms twitched, allowing Yoroi to get free of the grab. The veiled ninja slammed his elbow into Sasuke’s stomach and then quickly got to his feet.

“Sasuke-kun!” Sakura shouted, trying to get the boy to get up and pay attention. 

Yoroi’s hand connected with Sasuke’s forehead. His body twitched as he struggled to make it move. My heart stopped. Without the curse seal, Sasuke wouldn’t have the power to deal with Yoroi. The man would drain Sasuke of everything he had. My hands gripped the railings until my knuckles turned white. 

Sasuke was barely able to kick Yoroi away. The rest he’d gotten since we’d passed the second exam must have helped, even just a little. The tension refused to leave my body. Sakura was on the verge of tears already; she couldn’t even look at the fight. Naruto could see how upset we were and he shouted down to his teammate.

“Are you really Uchiha Sasuke!” he screamed. “Is that the best you can do?!” 

Sasuke’s dark eyes glanced up at the gallery, his eyes widening in realization. I glanced over, realizing that he’d drawn some kind of realization from Lee. A smirk touched my lips and I gave a short, breathy laugh of relief. Kakashi raised a brow at the noise and I turned to give him a reassuring smile over my shoulder.

“I think he’s got this.”

Yoroi charged at Sasuke, his hand glowing once more. But Sasuke…Sasuke kicked upwards; throwing Yoroi into the air like Lee had done to him way back before the first exam. He flickered into position behind Yoroi. After that there was a flurry of kicks that I couldn’t keep track of and Yoroi went plummeting to the ground, aided by one last kick from Sasuke. 

“Lion’s Barrage,” I murmured, a proud smile on my face. “That’s my little lion man.”

Sasuke skidded across the ground, but just as Hayate was checking Yoroi’s status my boy managed to get to his feet. 

Hayate stood and extended a hand towards Sasuke. “I’m stopping the fight here and thus…the winner of the first match, Uchiha Sasuke, has passed the prelims!”

Sasuke, probably relieved that he’d won, fell on his ass. Kakashi popped in just behind him in time to support him with his knee so Sasuke wouldn’t fall any more. Naruto cheered loudly next to me.

“Sasuke! Man, what a lame way to win! You’re all beat up!”

Sasuke looked up to his teammate with a crooked smile. “Shut up, you idiot.” 

I giggled, realizing that there wasn’t any bite to Sasuke’s words. His gaze moved to me and I gave him a small smile and a thumbs-up. Even from my position on the platform I could see his cheeks turn pink. Don’t fall in love with me, Sasuke. You are something like ten years too young for me.

The medics took Yoroi away, but Sasuke was able to rejoin us on the viewing platform. Despite his lack of chakra, all in all he wasn’t heavily injured. As he passed me, I reached out to catch him in a hug.

“You did good, kiddo. But don’t scare me like that again, okay?”

Sasuke said nothing, but I his hand came up to clutch the back of my shirt and he buried his face, just briefly, into my chest. I glanced up to stare across the open space to where the Sound ninja were standing. I could see Orochimaru, disguised as a Sound jonin, staring at us. My eyes narrowed dangerously at him and I tightened my grip on Sasuke. That man would never get close to Sasuke as long as I had something to say about it. 

I barely paid attention to the next few matches, but I did wince when the Sound ninja’s arms blew apart thanks to Shino’s bugs blocking the air channel. I hated bugs, and the thought of living with them inside you from birth… it made me shudder. I thanked whatever being put me in this situation that I hadn’t been swapped with a member of the Aburame clan. Kankurou’s match was just as quick. 

The fourth match was Sakura and Ino. I held my breath as Sakura faced her former friend. This was the match that concerned me the most. Because my team saved Sakura and the others before Sasuke got bit, Ino didn’t have the chance to jump in and help them later on against the sound ninja. Would this match have the same catharsis the one in the original story had? I could only hope. 

“I hope you know, I have no intention of fighting over Sasuke-kun with you,” Sakura said, her voice surprisingly strong. 

“What was that?” Ino snapped, her pretty face twisting into a scowl.

“You and Sasuke-kun don’t go together anyway,” Sakura said simply. “And I’m completely stronger than you right now. I don’t even need to be concerned with you.”

“Who do you think you’re talking to?” Ino shouted. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, you cry baby!”

“Um…hey,” Naruto spoke up, his voice wavering. “Sakura-chan is going too far, isn’t she? Ino looks really scary right now.”

“Hmmm,” Kakashi hummed thoughtfully. “Sakura isn’t the type of person to brag about her strength or hurt overs. She just doesn’t want Ino to not take her seriously or show her mercy.” 

I turned to glance over my shoulder, a little amazed by the concern I could see on Kakashi’s face. He wasn’t a great teacher, but he probably cared about his students more than he let on. He probably understood how important this match was to Sakura like I did. 

“Why are they all serious like that?” Naruto asked.

Kakashi sighed. “Well, you could say that rivalries are strange…”

I watched as Sakura and Ino, without another word, moved their headbands to their foreheads. Then the match began. Sakura burst forward, summoning a pair of bunshin. Ino was unable to discern which of them was the real Sakura, and ended getting decked in the face. 

“Wow! Sakura-chan rules!” Naruto cheered, a proud grin on his face. Even Sasuke seemed impressed.

“Her basic chakra control is perfect for a rookie,” Kakashi observed. “Sakura has greatly improved.”

Naruto turned to pout at his sensei. “So she’s better than me?”

“Well, yes,” Kakashi said with a shrug. “When it comes to the ability to gather chakra from every part of the body and then use it with great timing, in just that, she’s even above Sasuke. Well…in Sakura’s case, she’s had great control of her chakra from the very beginning.”

“Can you imagine what she could do if she had the right goal to push herself towards?” I added, grinning broadly at the idea.

“She’d be a great medic,” Ryou agreed. 

The fight dragged on forever. Ino and Sakura matched each other move for move. For each blow one managed to land, the other landed one just as devastating within seconds. Neither one managed to keep the upper hand for long, if either one of them ever really got it at all. 

“There’s no way!” Ino eventually shouted. “You could never be even with me!”

“Of course!” Sakura shot back. “How could I be even with someone who only worries about growing her hair and looking pretty?”

“You!!” Ino practically growled. “You better stop disrespecting me!”

Ino grabbed a kunai from her holster. To the surprise of everyone, even Sakura, Ino grabbed a hold of her ponytail and ran her kunai right through it. 

“Well,” Ryou muttered. “At least it’s a more even cut than Sakura’s.”

“I don’t need this!” Ino shouted, tossing her long hair to the ground. “I’m going to end this right now! I’ll make you say ‘I give up’!”

Ino prepared her body swapping technique. No one really believed it would work; even her team doubted her. That was, until Ino’s little hair trap activated. 

“She’s cleverer than people give her credit for,” Mai murmured, leaning back against the railing and watching the spectacle over her shoulder with mild interest.

Ino slumped forward and Sakura grinned. Well, it wasn’t really Sakura, but the younger genin didn’t seem to quite understand that until Kakashi explained it to them. I shuddered. It was one thing to swap bodies with someone like I did (at least I hoped Mori was right about switching places with Kourubi); it was something else entirely to take someone’s mind by force. Ino raised Sakura’s hand and began to forfeit. 

“Don’t Sakura-chan!” Naruto shouted over the railing. “You’ve come this far!!! If you loose to that Sasuke obsessed idiot…”

“C’mon, Sakura!” I turned at Sasuke’s sudden cheer. The surprise on my face quickly melted into a smile. “You’re better than this!”

Everyone else seemed just as shocked as I was at Sasuke’s sudden verbal support of his teammate. It also got the rest of us cheering loudly for her.

“You can do it, Sakura-san!”

“That’s right, sweetie! I believe in you!”

“C’mon kiddo!” Ryou shouted. “You can’t let this snot nosed brat beat you!”

“Weren’t you also calling her a snot nosed brat the other day?” Mai joked.

“Shut up! I have the right to change my mind!”

Sakura twitched and groaned, holding her head as her inner self warred with Ino for control. 

“LIKE HELL I FORFEIT!” Sakura shouted. 

Eventually Ino was forced to release her control of her rival. The two girls glared at each other from across the room, panting heavily. This was it. The final blow. I gripped the railings so hard my hands hurt as Sakura and Ino rushed at each other. They collided one last time. Their headbands went flying as they skidded across the floor and fainted. Hayate looked from one fighter to the other before making his call.

“Both fighters are unable to continue. This is a double knock out. The fourth preliminary match has no winner.”

Asuma and Kakashi flickered onto the arena floor and gingerly picked up their students. Everyone rushed to see if the two were okay. Even Shikamaru seemed concerned. Kakashi shushed them gently.

“Looks like we don’t even need the medical team,” Asuma observed. “They should regain consciousness in a short while.”

The relief that filled the air at that was palpable. Even Sasuke gave a small smile. 

“But that was surprising,” Asuma mumbled. “I could understand Sasuke or Naruto…but even Sakura has grown this much.”

“Many things have happened,” Kakashi said by way of an explanation. “But from the bottom of my heart…I’m glad I entered them in this exam.”

The next match was Tenten and Temari. I couldn’t bring myself to pay much attention. I knew exactly how the match would end. Instead, I kept glancing over my shoulder at Ino and Sakura, waiting for them to wake up. It didn’t take them long to regain consciousness, and for a moment I thought they were having a real moment…but then they went right back to fighting over Sasuke. I sighed, earning me a confused look from Naruto. 

I focused my attention back on the match just in time to watch Tenten land painfully on Temari’s giant fan. When Lee jumped in to catch the unconscious Tenten, I felt my heart stop. Lee was strong, but picking fights with Gaara’s family was probably the worst idea he’d ever have. 

“Don’t you dare lose to those guys, Naruto!” Sakura exclaimed, suddenly popping back into the group. 

“Sakura-chan! Are you alright?” 

“You should be worried about yourself,” Sakura warned. “If you lose here you’re not a man. How will you be able to fight Sasuke-kun?”

Sasuke snorted on my other side and I smacked him lightly upside the head.

“I’d like to announce the next match,” Hayate coughed.

Naruto and Lee both shouted in excitement, begging for their turn.

But it was my name that appeared on the board, along with a name I didn’t recognize. 

“Hiraku?” I murmured, reading the screen aloud. 

One of the ninjas from the second Suna team grinned broadly and jumped over the railing. Ah, so he’s the one. Ryou patted me on the shoulder and Mai gave me a nod. Noboru-sensei’s lips quirked up into a confident smile.

“Good luck, Kourubi-nee!” Naruto cheered. Sakura and Sasuke made little noises of agreement.

I reached out and ruffled Naruto’s already messy hair with a grin. “Just watch me work, Sunshine.” With that, I too leapt over the railing, landing all too easily on the arena floor.

Hiraku raised a brow at me, obviously not impressed with me. He lazily pulled a short sword out from its sheath on his back. Hayate looked between us and then jumped back as he called for the match to begin. 

I grinned and immediately cycled through my hand signs. Ram-rat-snake-dragon. 

“Melody From Another World!” 

Hiraku paused as sound filled the air. Oh, this was a good one. I could hear the murmurs of confusion from the jonin and chunin and the shouts of excitement from the genin who had already witnessed this technique. 

“I know I took the path that you’d never want for me…I know I let you down didn’t I,” I sang along to the familiar tune. 

Hiraku scowled, holding up his left hand in half the ram and shouting, “Release!”

His eyes widened when the music didn’t go away. I could hear the others try to break the genjutsu with no effect. I struck as Hiraku was still floundering in shock, quickly disarming him. I slammed a palm into his chest, right between his pectorals. He doubled over as the chorus rang out in the room.

“I, I bet my life, I bet my life, I bet my life on you~” 

The grin had yet to leave my face as I beat the ever-loving shit out of Hiraku. I could hear Naruto and Sakura and Sasuke and Ryou and Mai cheering for me. I thought I heard Lee lend his voice to the cheers, but I couldn’t be sure. I wondered what Kakashi and Iruka thought of me as I danced around Hiraku, the pounding drums driving my movements.

Pain. Lots of pain as Hiraku managed to land a solid kick to my chest, knocking me prone. I skidded across the floor. Fucking ow. Well, actually, this was the perfect time for this. The song had reached its lull before it would kick back up again. I just had to get up before then.

“And stay down, you fucking freak!” Hiraku shouted, probably still pissed about the song. Whatever, I was having fun.

“Don’t tell me that I’m wrong,  
I walked this road before,  
And left you on your own…”

I pushed myself up with shaking hands. Hiraku’s face twisted into something akin to rage.

“Please believe them when they say,  
That it’s left for yesterday,  
And the records that I’ve played,  
Please forgive me for all I’ve…done.”

“SHUT UP!”

I grinned and rushed to meet him, using his sloppy rage to my advantage. He may have gotten a few nicks in with a kunai, but that was negligible. 

“So I, I bet my life, I bet my life, I bet my life of you~”

A knife hand to his throat took him down for the last time, coughing and choking and curling in on himself. Somehow, someway, I’d managed to end the match with the song. God, I was good. 

Naruto’s cheering was deafening as Hayate announced my win. I turned to look up at my friends up on the viewing platform with a grin. Mai looked smug, like she’d won the match instead of me. Ryou and Sakura had clasped hands and were jumping up and down in celebration. Even Sasuke was smiling. Oh, he was cute when he smiled. He should do it more often. Naruto gripped Iruka’s sleeve and shook the poor man’s arm, and I could hear him shout about how cool I’d been. Iruka’s proud smile made me weak in the knees. Noboru-sensei was blushing as Gai praised him for my skill.

Kakashi stared me down with his one visible eye. I couldn’t read his expression. Did…did he think badly of me for how I fought? My smile fell to a confused frown. Sasuke noticed my expression change and followed my eye line to glare at Kakashi. I huffed a small laugh and moved to climb the stairs back to the platform. 

Naruto came to meet me, practically throwing himself at me. I staggered back a few steps, but luckily he was small enough that he didn’t knock me over. 

“That was so cool, Kourubi-nee!” he exclaimed. “You were amazing! What song was that? It was different from last time. I don’t think I’ve ever heard it before!”

“Alright, Sunshine, calm down,” I laughed, hefting Naruto up so I could carry him back to the others. “I wasn’t that impressive.”

“You looked like a dancer, Kourubi-san!” Sakura gushed. “I’ve never seen that style of taijutsu before!”

“That’s the Karasuno style,” Kakashi informed her, his one eye locked on to me as I set Naruto back down on the ground. “I would be surprised if she didn’t use it, seeing as she’s clan heir.”

“You sound upset, Kakashi-sensei,” I noted, trying not to let my disappointment show. “Were you displeased with my performance?”

“No,” he said plainly, pulling out his stupid book to hide what little expression I could see. 

“You did very well, Karasuno-san,” Iruka insisted, side eyeing Kakashi pretty heavily.

“Kourubi is fine, Iruka-sensei,” I informed him with a small smile. “And please don’t use –san. It makes me feel old.”

“Should I not call you –san either?” Sakura asked, suddenly concerned she’d been offending me or something.

I smiled reassuringly at her. “You can call me whatever makes you feel comfortable, cherry pie.”

She seemed flustered by the nickname. “O-okay…Kourubi-senpai.”

I could feel Kakashi’s gaze drilling into my back as we turned to the arena as Shikamaru was called down to fight the female sound ninja. I felt a rage boil up inside me at the sight of her. Shikamaru better win this one. For Sakura’s sake.

“Kick her ass, kiddo!” I shouted. 

Shikamaru looked less than enthused to be there. That was alright, seeing as his match was over in mere moments. To be fair, the sound ninja did most of the work for him, standing so close to the wall. Shikamaru just took advantage of it. Lazy bastard. 

“That was so basic,” Naruto grumbled. “But he was kinda cool…damn.”

“I bet you’ll be even cooler,” I promised, ruffling his hair some more (I have no idea how he got it to be so soft). “You’ll have to be, otherwise Sasuke and Sakura will outshine you.”

Ryou’s name was the next of my friends to be called. He sauntered calmly down the stairs, piecing together his staff. His opponent was another ninja from the second Suna team: a girl with long rust colored hair tied back in a messy bun. 

Hayate called for the fight to begin and Ryou was up in his opponent’s face before she could do a thing. One strike with his staff to her solar plexus, another to her jugular, and one more to the back of her head and she crumpled to the ground. A shocked silence filled the room. 

“Yotsura Miku is unable to continue,” Hayate finally coughed. “Nekozawa Ryou has won this preliminary.”

“Huh,” Ryou muttered, scratching at his head with the end of his staff. “Usually it’s harder than that.”

“That’s what she said,” Kiba shouted. 

I rolled my eyes so hard when Ryou turned to wink at Kiba, making the boy blush and Shino give off a distinct buzzing noise. 

“C’mon! It’s my turn!” Naruto shouted at the scoreboard as Ryou made his way back up to the observation platform.

“Calm down, Naruto, you’ll get your turn eventually,” Iruka assured him.

“If by eventually you mean now,” Mai corrected, pointing to the screen.

On the screen, in bright yellow letters, was ‘Uzumaki Naruto vs. Inuzuka Kiba’. 

“YES!!! IT’S HERE, IT’S HERE!!!” Naruto cheered, pumping his fist into the air. “FINALLY! IT’S ABOUT TIME!!”

Kiba was just as enthusiastic as Naruto was. I’d always been vaguely fond of Kiba as a character. His skills were unique and he had an energetic personality I could get behind. But right now, as he fought against Naruto, I couldn’t bring myself to like him. Especially not when I could hear the doubt spilling from the mouths of the others around me. My knuckles were white as I clenched my hands into fists at my sides. 

“C’mon, Sunshine, you can do it,” I murmured, more to reassure myself than anything else.

I choked back a gasp as Kiba rammed into Naruto, knocking him clear across the arena floor. I could feel the smugness roll off Kurenai as she glanced our way. Ryou and Mai frowned heavily, concern in their eyes, as if they were wondering why they had put any faith in Naruto. 

But Sakura looked to Kakashi and smiled and Sasuke gave a little huff of a laugh. I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Turning, I saw Iruka give me a small, reassuring smile.

And then I heard it. 

“Don’t underestimate me.”

Naruto, like I should have known he would, had picked himself back up. A tiny giggle of relief escaped me. How the hell did I manage to lose faith in him? 

“GO!! NARUTO!” Sakura cheered.

Kiba scowled. “Saying that while you’re bleeding. I thought I told you to stop acting tough!”

“I let you hit me, so I could test your strength,” Naruto taunted, wiping the blood from the corner of his mouth. “You should take your own advice and stop acting tough, too. Go ahead and use your dog or whatever.”

Kiba’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “You’ll regret that. Let’s go, Akamaru!!”

He rushed Naruto, setting off a smoke bomb. I growled, leaning over the railing to try and see what was going on. Naruto managed to break out of the smoke, only to get jumped by Akamaru, which sent him tumbling back into the smoke. When it finally cleared, Naruto was laying on the ground.

“HAHAHA! YES!” Kiba cheered. “Great job! You did it, Aka-“

Akamaru clamped onto Kiba’s arms with his mouth. Or, everyone thought it was Akamaru until a puff of smoke revealed Naruto instead. The real Akamaru dangled in the arms of the Shadow Clone that had faked everyone out. Ino, Shikamaru, I could even hear the sand siblings across the way making surprised comments about Naruto’s impressive display. I beamed, feeling something akin to pride swell in my chest. 

“WAY TO GO SUNSHINE!” I shouted, startling the genin and jonin. Ah, I’d forgotten how many people had never heard me call Naruto that.

“So you’ve gotten a little stronger,” Kiba scowled. “But it’s over, I’m serious now.” 

I barely caught Kiba flicking a small, brown pill Akamaru’s direction before the tiny dog’s fur turned a brilliant shade of red. Kiba swallowed an identical pill himself as Akamaru escaped the clone’s grip. 

I closed my eyes as Akamaru transformed into a clone of Kiba and the two attacked together, going faster than I could have tracked anyway. I winced at the thudding noise Naruto made when he hit the ground. Someone tapped me on the shoulder. I opened my eyes and turned to look at Kakashi.

“Don’t close your eyes,” he told me firmly. “I think you’re one of the ones he wants to see him triumph the most.”

My brow furrowed and my lips tightened into a thin line. I knew, logically, that Naruto would win because I’d seen it before. But watching it on a TV and seeing it in real life were two totally different things. Still, I turned back to the scene below me as Naruto struggled to get back up.

“I …Hokage,” Naruto ground out. “Can’t lose…here…”

Kiba gave a bark of a laugh. “You? Become Hokage? Even though you’re weaker than me? You don’t think you can actually become Hokage, do you?! How’s this, I’ll become Hokage for you!”

A rage I’d never felt before spilled out. I slammed my hands against the railing and leaned forward until I was half bent over it to scream down at him. 

“SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!!!”

I could feel the shocked eyes on me, but I didn’t care. Being Hokage was Naruto’s dream, and I wasn’t about to let anyone trample over it.

Sakura joined me in my shouting. “GET UP NARUTO!!” 

Even Sasuke had something to say, “IF YOU LET HIM BEAT YOU, YOU’RE AN EVEN BIGGER LOSER THAN I THOUGHT! GET UP!!”

And somehow, Naruto did. 

“If you’re gonna compete with me for the title of Hokage,” Naruto said dangerously, “I’m gonna whip you like a dog.”

Kiba growled low in his throat and led Akamaru into another series of attacks. At some point in the middle of everything, while smoke covered the arena, Naruto transformed into Kiba. There was a pause in the action as Kiba tried to figure out which of his clones was Naruto and which one was Akamaru. He must have felt confident when he turned on one of his clones, but that confidence quickly fell away as a puff of smoke revealed a battered Akamaru. Kiba immediately turned on his other clone, punching it twice as hard as he had the other. When that clone also transformed into Akamaru, those watching let out a collective gasp. Kiba stood stock still, shocked and unable to process what the hell was going on. The first Akamaru rose to his feet, and if a puff of smoke, Naruto appeared to kick Kiba in the fucking head. 

“FUCK YEAH, WAY TO GO SUNSHINE!” I shouted. My voice was starting to get hoarse from all my cheering and screaming, but I didn’t care.

Kiba pushed himself to his feet, eerily calm. 

“Heh, so you’re finally getting serious, eh Kiba,” Naruto panted. “Then…with my new special technique…I’m going to end this!”

“His what now?” Sasuke muttered.

Sakura was just as confused as he was. “Since when…?”

Lee, on the other hand, seemed pretty excited. “He was saving a special technique? Impressive!”

“Did you know about this?” Iruka asked me.

“Not a clue,” I lied smoothly. I knew exactly what Naruto was doing, but it wasn’t because he told me, or anything. Ah, the joys of having previous knowledge I shouldn’t have. 

At some point during our short conversation, Kiba ended up behind Naruto, poised to strike. 

And then Naruto farted.

I burst out laughing, bent double and pounding my fist against the railing. Iruka slapped his palm against his forehead and drug it down his face. Poor man was so embarrassed. 

“That’s your Sunshine,” Ryou muttered, his face half way between amused and disgusted.

“Yep,” I agreed with a grin. “That’s my Sunshine.”

Kiba staggered back, eyes watering and hands scrabbling at his face. That’s what he got for using a jutsu that amplified his sense of smell a thousand times greater than normal against Naruto of all people. 

“Naruto!” Sakura hollered. “Now’s your chance!!!”

“Alright!!” Naruto shouted, performing Kage Bunshin. “I’m going to return the pain you gave me all at once!!”

One clone rushed forward to punch Kiba straight in the face, knocking him back. Before he could land, three more clones slid under him to kick him up into the air. Finally, the real Naruto leapt into the air to perform an axe kick to the back of Kiba’s head and knock him back down to the ground. 

Kiba didn’t get up that time. 

“Winner: Uzumaki Naruto,” Hayate announced after performing a quick check of Kiba. 

Hinata halted Naruto’s proud strut back up to the platform. With shaking hands she offered him a medical salve she’d probably made herself. I smiled a little to myself. Hinata was a good kid. I watched as she scurried down the stairs to give the medics a similarly small jar of salve for Kiba and Akamaru. 

And then my heart dropped.

Hinata and Neji’s names appeared on the board. This…I’d forgotten about this match. How could I have forgotten about this match?

“I never thought I’d be facing you, Hinata-sama,” Neji said icily.

“Neji-nii-san,” Hinata stuttered, her expression meek and full of concern.

“Huh? Are they siblings?” Naruto asked.

“They are members of the Hyuuga clan, which is one of Konoha’s oldest and greatest bloodlines,” Kakashi explained. “But they aren’t siblings.”

“Then what are they?” Sakura asked.

“Mmm, well. They’re members of the Hyuuga’s main house and branch house,” Kakashi continued, keeping his comments deceptively neutral.

“Main house and branch house?” Naruto echoed.

Lee stepped in. “Yes! Hinata-san is a member of the Hyuuga main house. While Neji carries the Hyuuga blood, he’s in a lower house.”

“So they’re cousins?” Sakura clarified. “That must make fighting difficult.”

“Yes, but…” Lee frowned. “Many things have happened between the houses over the years, and right now they do not get along very well.”

“Why’s that?” Sasuke asked, his expression dark and calculating.

“I don’t know everything, but…” Lee admitted. “This is normal with old houses but…in order to protect the blood and house of the original Hyuuga family, many rules have been established to put the main family in an advantageous situation. Because of this the branch houses feel slighted.”

“I’d hardly call what they do normal,” I hissed, earning me concerned looks from everyone around me.

Hayate called for the match to start, but neither Hyuuga moved.

“Before we begin the fight, I’d like to say something, Hinata-sama,” Neji said, his voice cold and harsh. “You don’t make a good shinobi. Forfeit now.”

The shock and hurt on Hinata’s face was heart breaking.

“You are too kind,” Neji continued. “You wish for harmony and avoid conflict. You agree with others, never resisting, and you have no confidence in yourself. I can feel your sense of inferiority. That’s why I thought it would be best for you to remain a genin. But the chunin exam can only be taken as a team of three. You couldn’t turn down your teammate’s request and unwilling entered. Am I wrong?

 

“N-no…I…I just wanted…wanted to change myself,” Hinata stumbled over her words, but the heart of what she was trying to say was strong and true. 

Neji’s scowled. “Hinata-sama…as I thought you are a spoiled brat of the Main house. People cannot change themselves! Losers are losers. Their personality and strength cannot change. Because people cannot change, differences are born. Expressions like elite and loser are created. Looks, brains, ability, size, personality…all people judge and are judged in these values. Based on these unchangeable factors, people discriminate and are discriminated against. And they suffer within their own means. Just like the fact that I am from a branch house and you are from the main house cannot be changed.”

“This kid sure likes to talk a lot,” Ryou muttered under his breath, arms crossed tightly over his chest.

“He’s fucking stupid,” Mai agreed quietly. “Acts like he knows everything, but he’s so short sighted.”

I watched as Hinata shrank away from Neji as he activated his Byakugan. It looked even creepier than the Sharingan did. How Neji could call Hinata a spoiled brat after all the shit her father put her through, things I was pretty sure Neji knew about, I had no idea. But it bothered me. Bothered me more than anything else I’d seen so far. Hinata didn’t deserve this. 

“You can’t fool my eyes,” Neji hissed. “Against my pressure just now, your eyes floated to the upper left. This is a sign that you’re remembering your past experiences, your painful past. After that you looked to the lower right. That’s a sign that you’re imaging physical and mental pain. Basically, you’re thinking about yourself. And from all the experience until now you’re imaging the results of this match. Imaging that you’ll lose.

“The action of raising your arms in front of your body shows that you are trying to create a wall between us, create a distance from me. Further more,” Neji continued despite the tears welling up in Hinata’s eyes. “Touching your lip is a trait revealing a disturbance. It’s a defense mechanism to soften the nervousness and worrying. So basically, in reality, you’ve realized it already, haven’t you? You cannot change your…”

“YOU CAN!”

Naruto’s sharp cry cut off Neji and drew Hinata’s eyes. Naruto’s face was twisted in righteous fury, his eyes fierce and determined. At that moment, I could totally understand Hinata’s admiration for him.

“Stop deciding things about people, you idiot!” Naruto continued. “Kick this bastard’s ass, Hinata!!”

Awe passed over Hinata’s face before fading into something harder. Her posture changed. Instead of curling in on herself she stood tall, determined. 

“So you won’t forfeit,” Neji said, less a question and more a simple statement of fact. “Fine, but I’m not responsible for what happens.”

“That’s bullshit and he knows it,” Ryou growled low in his throat. 

“I no longer…want to run away,” Hinata announced, activating her Byakugan and shifting into a fighting stance. “Neji-nii-san…we fight.”

Lyrics passed through my head. I smiled, glad that my weird little habit of putting music to everything hadn’t left me when I swapped bodies with Kourubi. I couldn’t help but softly sing them aloud.

“She’s got lions in heart,   
A fire in her soul,  
He’s got a beast in his belly that’s so hard to control,  
‘Cause they’ve taken too much hits,  
Taking blow by blow,  
Now light a match, stand back, watch them explode.”

“Where do you keep getting these songs from?” Mai demanded, speaking for the others who had looked at me oddly. 

I shrugged, keeping my eyes on the two Hyuuga. “Every ninja has their secrets.”

Neji and Hinata charged each other, their strikes a flurry of movement that was hard to track. I kept my eyes on them, barely registering the conversation Naruto and his team was having with Lee about the Hyuuga style of taijutsu. Then, Hinata was suddenly coughing up blood, and the conversation stopped dead in its tracks. Neji legitimately shoved Hinata hard enough that she flew back several feet before hitting the ground. 

“Hinata-sama, this is the difference in talent that can never change,” Neji preached. “The difference that divides an elite from a loser. This is the reality that cannot be changed. At the point you said ‘I do not want to run’ you were setting yourself up for regret. You should be overcome with desperation right now. Forfeit!”

I bit my lip as Hinata struggled to get back on her feet. Everything in me told me to jump in and punch Neji’s lights out, but that wouldn’t do Hinata any favors. This was her fight, and she had to fight it herself in order to take that first step forward. 

“I…don’t go back…on my word,” Hinata ground out. “That’s my ninja way too!”

Naruto’s hands gripped the railing tight, amazement on his face. Hinata met his gaze and smiled, just a little. 

“I never knew Hinata was this incredible…” Naruto murmured.

Lee nodded, smiling. “She’s very similar to you.”

“Oh yeah,” Sakura agreed. “She’s always watching you.”

Hinata retched again, coughing up even more blood. 

“Neji’s attacks have completely shut down her chakra flow,” Kakashi observed grimly. “She can no longer do her ‘gentle fist’ attacks. This match is over.”

Naruto wasn’t going to take that. “You can do it, Hinata!!”

“C’mon, baby girl, kick his ass!” Mai shouted down, startling me. Mai hadn’t shown much interest in the out comes of any of the matches that didn’t involve me or Ryou. But something about Hinata’s struggle seemed to resonate with her. I wondered what it was.

Naruto and Mai’s cheers brought the flame of determination back to Hinata’s eyes and she attacked again. Even when Neji struck her across the face, she went back. But then Neji’s hand made contact with her torso and a sickening thud sound echoed in the suddenly still air. She coughed more blood and fell to the ground. Hayate attempted to call the match.

“Don’t stop it!” Naruto shouted insistently.

“What are you saying, you idiot!” Sakura scolded loudly. “She’s at her limit, she’s unconscious.” 

But to the shock of everyone present, Hinata stood anyway. Naruto smiled. Not a grin, or a smirk, just a smile. 

“It’s not over,” Hinata insisted, her voice weak but her words strong. 

“Acting tough is useless,” Neji snapped. “You can barely stand, I can see that even without the Byakugan. From the time of your birth the responsibility of the Hyuuga main house has been forced upon you. You have always hated yourself for your own weakness…but people cannot change. That is destiny. There is no need to suffer anymore. Let it go.”

Hinata shook her head. “That’s not true…I can see it. It’s not me at all. The person lost and suffering within the destiny of the main and branch houses…is you.”

Something in Neji snapped in that moment. Hayate saw it, and tried to tell Neji the match was over, but the boy charged forward anyway. 

He was a mere foot away from Hinata when the jonin caught him. Gai, Kurenai, Hayate…even Kakashi stepped in. Neji spat something about special treatment for the main family. Stupid boy.

“Ryou,” I whispered. “Think you can do something about Hinata?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I haven’t gotten that much training in medical jutsu. But I can try.”

We jumped over the railing just as Hinata’s organs finally started to truly give out. I caught her as she fell, laying her down gently as Ryou’s hand began to glow a soothing green. Lee and Naruto joined us on the floor. Naruto knelt beside Hinata, and I hoped she’d be able to see him just before she fainted.

“Hey…the loser over there.” I knew Neji was talking to Naruto but I raised my eyes from Hinata’s prone form to glare at him anyway. “I’d like to tell you two things. If you’re a shinobi, then cut out the pathetic cheering. And another thing: in the end, a loser is a loser. They cannot change.”

Naruto stood, his eyes burning like nothing I’d ever seen before. I moved to lay Hinata’s head in Kurenai’s lap and stood as well. 

“You wanna test me?” Naruto threatened, eyes narrowed dangerously.

Neji just scoffed. Naruto rushed at him, despite my shout of warning. Luckily for all of us, Lee jumped in the way, stopping Naruto’s ill-timed rampage.

“Naruto-kun, I understand your feelings so much that it hurts,” Lee soothed. “But the fighting has to remain in the matches. Whether a loser can defeat an elite through the power of hard work…that’s something to look forward to in the main test. His opponent might be me, but if it is you, Naruto-kun, there will be no hard feelings.”

“Tch, fine.”

I sighed in relief. Thank god for Lee. 

Ryou’s surprised shout drew our attention as Hinata coughed again, more blood spilling from her mouth. Ryou looked panicked and Kurenai glared at Neji. 

“If you have time to glare at me,” Neji said smugly, “Then take care of her.”

“Dammit! Where’s the medical team?” she shouted. 

The medics gently moved Hinata to a stretcher, rushing her off to the emergency room. Ryou made to trail after them, but stopped. With his limited training, he probably couldn’t be of much help at this point. Naruto’s pained face as he watch them carry her off hurt me. I watched as he slowly bent down to drag his fingers through her blood. He held up his fist, now dripping with her blood, and stared Neji down.

“You…” he growled. “Are going down.”

Neji laughed and turned to leave, but I wasn’t about to let him off that easily.

“A word of advice, kid,” I snapped, glaring as he turned to me with a bored expression. “Taking your anger towards the system out on another victim only ever makes you look like the bad guy. Maybe you’d know that if you ever pulled your head out of your ass.”

Neji’s eyes narrowed critically, as if discovering a whole new hatred for me.

I smirked and shrugged. “It’s just a thought.”

We climbed back up to the gallery, a heavy silence in the air. I lost track of Naruto somehow and when I turned around I found him talking to Kankuro. Oh…that’s right. The next fight in canon was Lee and Gaara. Oh, I did not have the emotional energy to deal with that shit show right now. Please, give me some respite.

The next names on the board were not Lee and Gaara’s, but Mai’s and another I didn’t recognize. That stupid punk from Suna with the platinum hair. So his name was ‘Sho’. I wondered if he was any stronger than his teammates.

“Begin the next match!”

Mai charged the guy; fists pulled back and ready to strike. I watched as the boy smirked, dodging backwards and flying through a series of hand signs. I didn’t recognize the pattern. Kakashi must have, because he stiffened behind me.

“What, what is that?” I whirled on him to ask.

“A rare fire jutsu from the time of the Third Great Ninja War,” he explained. “I didn’t think they even taught it anywhere anymore.”

I whirled back around to yell a warning at Mai. “Mai! Watch out!”

It was too late. As soon as the boy was done he stopped, letting Mai get inches from him before exhaling a stream of fire. I choked as the scent of burning flesh filled the room. Mai tumbled down, rolling along the ground but the fire…stuck to her. Almost like…

“Napalm!” I whispered in horror, my eyes going wide.

The sticky fire clung to her torso and legs, continuing to burn her flesh away. Even her hair was burning, the band holding her hair in the braid broken. She couldn’t stand like that. There was no way. Sho smirked and walked idly forward to give Mai a good kick to the face. There was a crack and I could see the blood pouring from her nose.

“CALL THE MATCH!” I shrieked. “CALL THE MATCH GODDAMMIT OR I WILL COME DOWN THERE AND KILL HIM MYSELF!”

“The match is over,” Hayate announced quickly. “The winner is Sho.” 

I dragged Ryou down to the floor with me, Noboru-sensei close behind. The napalm was still burning.

“Release the jutsu, you motherfucker!” I snarled, grabbing Sho by the collar of his shirt and lifting him an inch off the ground. 

“What? Land of Fire shinobi can’t take the heat?” he mocked.

I drew my fist back, ready to punch his lights out, but Noboru caught my wrist. His violet eyes were icy as they met Sho’s. 

“Release the jutsu.”

Sho snarled, but did as he was told. Ryou was on Mai in a heartbeat, hands glowing healing green. Whole expanses of flesh had been burned off Mai’s thighs and her torso. Bits of her shirt had been seared onto the edges of her burns. It smelled terrible. I could feel bile burn my throat as I tried desperately not to hurl. 

The medic team rushed in, pushing Ryou to the side as they lifted Mai into a stretcher and carried her off. Ryou looked on the verge of tears. I couldn’t imagine how he felt. He was a medic in training, but he couldn’t heal his own friend. I dropped Sho on his ass. I could only hope I looked as fucking pissed as I felt as I glared down at him. 

“You better hope it’s not me you fight in the main test,” I said, slow and sharp. “Because when you fall, I will make sure you never get back up again.”

I turned on my heel, forcing my tears back. I could only pray that Mai’s injuries weren’t career ending. She deserved better than that. She deserved so much better than that.

There was no way the next match wasn’t Lee and Gaara’s. I was almost too spent to care. Lee was so damn ecstatic about getting to go. I wanted to stop him. If I could, he wouldn’t get hurt! But he had to fight. And I probably couldn’t stop him even if I wanted to. 

I stepped back from the railing, leaning against the cool, stone wall. I wanted it to just swallow me up so I wouldn’t have to watch the match. I closed my eyes, rubbing at my face with my hands.

“Kourubi-san!” I jumped at Gai’s boisterous voice. I looked up to see him smiling at me. “Please, watch Lee. He cheered for you during your own match, it’s only fair that you cheer for him as well.”

I looked away, frowning. I wanted to…I really did. I liked Lee. I wanted to cheer him on and watch him succeed. But he wasn’t going to succeed. I’d already given my all to cheer for Naruto and Hinata and Mai…and now I was just drained. 

I heard the rumbling as Lee dropped his weights. There was a loud cheer from the people around me. A hand touched my arm. I looked up to see Sakura’s excited face.

“Kourubi-senpai! He’s really doing it! He hit that weird kid with gourd!” She tugged me forward and back to the railing. 

I was just in time to see Lee’s fist connect with Gaara’s face and send him flying. A chill ran down my spine as Gaara stood, the layer of sand that lay over his skin falling away. I reached out and latched onto Sasuke’s shoulder to steady myself. 

“Lee’s in trouble,” I whispered. 

“But he hit him,” Sasuke argued.

I gave a short, breathy, bitter laugh. “That’s why he’s in trouble.”

Lee’s bandages fluttered loosely as he unwrapped them. He dashed about, my eyes unable to track him. He kicked Gaara up into the air, once, twice, so many times I couldn’t count them. But then he flinched. There, in that tiny window of time, Gaara escaped, leaving behind his shell of sand. The Primary Lotus was an impressive sight. If only it had worked. 

Gaara’s sand pounded against Lee in waves. My shoulders were bunching up around my neck. I wanted to jump in. I wanted to snatch Lee up and away and carry him to safety. Where Hinata and Neji’s match just made me angry, this match frightened me. 

Somehow, Lee managed to get his second wind, finally dodging a wave of sand. He moved back into his initial fighting stance, a smile on his face.

“Lee-san is smiling,” Sakura murmured. “Even though he’s getting pushed around…”

“No, now the tables will turn,” Gai corrected, smiling confidently down at Sakura. “The lotus of the Leaf blooms twice.”

Kakashi and Noboru turned pale.

“Gai, you didn’t!” Noboru shouted, whirling on Gai with wide eyes. 

“That kid will…open the Eight Gates?” Kakashi’s eye narrowed, his voice surprisingly low and dangerous sounding. 

“Yes,” Gai nodded solemnly. “He will open them. He had the ability…”

“Even if he had the ability…a technique as dangerous as that!” Kakashi shouted. “The Reverse Lotus is one technique that shouldn’t be taught! I have no interest in making you tell me what that kid means to you or your reasoning…but there are limits. I’ve lost respect for you, Gai.”

Gai’s expression hardened, his voice dropping to a growl but his eyes never left Lee. “What would you know about that boy? That kid…has something precious he would give his life to prove. So I wanted to turn him into a man that could accomplish it…that’s all.”

“Gai…how many gates can Lee open?” Noboru asked carefully.

“Five,” Gai replied plainly. 

I focused all of my attention on Lee, tuning out the rest of the conversation. The air around Lee seemed to shimmer as his skin turned red and his veins bulged around his temples. It was a truly terrifying image. He sprinted towards Gaara, tearing up the stone floor. I couldn’t track Lee as Gaara went flying into the air, his sand struggling to keep up. Lee played tennis with Gaara’s body, knocking him all over the place. Next to me, Sasuke had activated his Sharingan in a desperate attempt to keep up with Lee’s movements. 

A strike from Lee sent Gaara plummeting to the ground. I watched with rapt attention as one of Lee’s bandages whipped out to wrap around Gaara and pull him back for one last, fatal blow. Or, it would be, if Gaara’s gourd didn’t turn to sand to soften his landing. 

Lee plummeted to the ground, his muscles utterly ruined by the strain he’d put on them. Gaara’s sand shot out to wrap around Lee’s left arm and leg and I let go of Sasuke to grip the railing instead, my hands pale and shaking. 

The scream that left Lee’s mouth as Gaara crushed his arm and leg stopped my heart. I couldn’t stop myself from leaping over the railing and flickering in front of Lee. I bent down to scoop him up as the shadow of Gaara’s sand fell over us. Shit, this was a bad idea. I thanked whatever gods existed that Gai stepped in. I don’t know how he was able to knock away Gaara’s sand, but I didn’t care. I quickly stood, facing Gaara. I could feel the hate rolling off of Gai in waves. But I…

I couldn’t bring myself to hate Gaara. Not with what I knew. 

“Why…did you save him?” Gaara demanded of Gai.

“Because he is precious to me.”

Gaara huffed and turned to walk away. I sensed movement behind me and felt my heart sink even as I whipped around to see Lee stand. Despite my best efforts, I felt the tears spill from my eyes and flow down my cheeks, warm and wet. I stepped aside for Gai as he reached out for his student. Lee gazed ahead with cloudy, unseeing eyes. I have no idea how he could stand with his body as damaged as it was, even if he was unconscious it didn’t seem possible but…

Naruto was beside me before I’d even realized he’d left the gallery. He gripped my sleeve, staring unbelieving at Lee as the medics lifted him into the stretcher. One of the medics moved to whisper to Gai, but we could hear him clearly. 

“It’s difficult to have to say something like this but…” the medic couldn’t look Gai in the eyes. “With his body as it is…he will never be able to live as a shinobi again.”

I could feel Naruto trembling next to me. “N-no way…it must be some kind of lie…”

I closed my eyes like that would stop my tears. I lifted a hand to my mouth to silence my quiet sobs. 

“If that’s so then what’s Bushybrows supposed to do!?” Naruto demanded. “He was always saying how he wanted to fight against Sasuke and that Neji guy! Can’t you do something about it?!!”

Kakashi appeared behind Naruto, holding him back and placing a silencing hand over his mouth. 

“That might…have been what caused this tragedy,” Kakashi said gravely. I turned to look at him, not bothering to try and wipe away my tears.

“The decision to use forbidden jutsu to win at all costs…this is the result,” Kakashi tried to explain. “To Sasuke, Neji-kun, Kourubi-chan, and to you too, Naruto…To fulfill the silent promise you all made to each other, he put his life at risk so that he could reach that final stage to fight all of you…remember that.”

I blinked in shock. Even me? No, that couldn’t be right. I wasn’t anyone important, not like Naruto or Sasuke. Don’t…don’t drag me into this suicide pact, you bastard! A loud sob escaped me and I clamped my hand back over my mouth in a poor attempt to keep more from escaping. I could feel their eyes– Gai’s and Kakashi’s and Naruto’s – on me but I couldn’t stop. I was just too tired to keep myself together. Too much had happened today. Too much had happened this week. I had saved Sasuke, but there was nothing I could have done to save Hinata or Mai or Lee. I felt so useless and so drained. Fuck, I was probably the definition of ugly crying right now and I couldn’t bring myself to care.

I felt two small arms wrap around my waist. I looked down, blinking tears out of my eyes just enough to see Naruto’s sky blue eyes staring up at me with concern. 

“Nee-chan?” his voice was small and childlike; more so than I had ever heard him before.

“I-I’m sorry, Sunshine,” I hiccupped, scrubbing at my face. “I…”

“Don’t worry about it,” he murmured, burying his face in my shirt. 

He pulled away only when Kakashi urged us to clear the field. His small hand latched onto mine. I had never been so aware of how young Naruto, and by extension all of the genin around me, was until that moment. 

I couldn’t bring myself to pay attention to Chouji’s match after that. I just…zoned out. Naruto never once let go of my hand the whole time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs mentioned in this part:
> 
> [This is the New Year by A Great Big World](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kr4g0UK3Fas)
> 
> [I Bet My Life by Imagine Dragons](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QlqqhzLVFo)
> 
> [Superheroes by The Script](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0y7ygEDRpSo)


	6. In Which I Explain the Transitive Property of Important People (TM)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the first upload on the every-other-week schedule. I might not be updating this specific story every other week, as I have two others I'm currently working on (one much more slowly than the other) but as I had more chapters of this then there were days of the week last week, I figured I would at least post another chapter for you this week. Please enjoy!

“Were you trying to get yourself killed?” Noboru-sensei demanded, his voice angry but his eyes were wide with fear. “Why would you jump in front of that kid’s sand?”

“I just…I wanted to get Lee out of there,” I tried to explain, feeling Naruto’s grip on my hand tighten.

“I understand that, but why?” Noboru-sensei pushed.

“Because…Lee’s important to me!”

“Kourubi, you don’t even know him!”

“That doesn’t matter!” I argued, my voice rising in volume. “He’s important to Gai-sensei! And Gai-sensei is important to you, right?”

Noboru’s brows furrowed in confusion. “Well, yes, but…”

“And you’re important to me. So if Lee is important to Gai-sensei, and Gai-sensei is important to you, and you’re important to me…then by extension, Gai-sensei and Lee are important to me too!”

The awe on Noboru and Gai’s faces filled me with…something. Confidence? No, that wasn’t the right word. But I felt…warm inside. Warm and solid, like by putting my feelings into words and letting them hear it I’d done something amazing. 

“That’s the same logic you used when you told Kakashi-sensei you were going to take care of Sasuke-kun,” Sakura noted, a smile on her face.

“Yeah, but now Sasuke’s become important to me on his own merits,” I explained. “And so have you. But I suppose you could say…that now I’m extending it to Iruka-sensei and Kakashi-sensei.”

“Wha?” Iruka’s jaw dropped.

“You’re important to Naruto, aren’t you? And Naruto’s important to me. So you’re important to me too. Both of you.” I smiled, hoping it didn’t look too forced. 

“You did a good job with that one,” Gai murmured to Noboru, just barely loud enough for me to hear.

Noboru laughed softly and shook his head. “Thanks, but I don’t think I had anything to do with that.”

“If those who’d won their matches could please join us on the floor,” Hayate announced, not bothering to hold back his coughing. Seriously, how was this man allowed to be a ninja?

Naruto held my hand all the way down the stairs, but released it as we lined up in front of Hayate, Anko, Ibiki, and the Hokage. I stood next to him with Ryou on my other side, hoping to put as many people between me and Sho or Neji as possible. If either one of them was within arm’s reach for me I’d probably be tempted to take them out here and now.

“To all of those who won the rights to compete in the third test of the chunin exam, congratulations,” Hayate announced. “Ah, well then, Hokage-sama, if you would please…”

The Hokage nodded, a pleased smile on his face. “Well, now I’d like to explain the main test. As I told you before, during the main event your matches will be seen by everybody. Each of you will represent the strengths of your countries. I’d like you to show off all your powers with no reserves. Which is why the finals will be held one month from now.”

“We’re not going to do it right here, right now?” Naruto asked, looking more than a little peeved.

The Hokage simply smiled and continued on. “You could say this break will be for preparations.”

“What does that mean?”

“In other words,” The Hokage explained. “In addition to informing all the various country lords and shinobi leaders, this time is needed to arrange for the event…and this is also the time for you to prepare for the examination. Basically, you will need to prepare to get to know your enemy and yourself. It’s the time period where you will calculate your chances of wining by analyzing the data you gathered during the trial competition. The battles up to now had you fight as if you were in an actual combat situation with the assumption of fighting an unknown opponent.”

“Oh my god, stop talking in circles,” I groaned quietly. 

“The final trial will not be like this,” the Hokage went on as if he didn’t hear me (though he probably did). “There are those who have already showed all they can to their rivals and there are those who competed and were badly injured. To make everything fair, the month should be used by all of you to advance and improve yourselves. Though it’d be fine to rest your body as well. And that’s the way it is…

“Well, I’d like to dismiss you now,” The Hokage smiled jovially. “But there’s something that has to be done for the finals before I can do that.”

“What the hell is it?!” Naruto snapped impatiently. “I have to go train.”

“And I have to go sleep,” Ryou muttered beside me. 

“Well now, don’t get so excited,” the Hokage chided mildly. “There are pieces of paper inside of the box Anko’s holding. Each one of you needs to take a piece.“

Anko slowly made her way down the line, allowing each genin to reach in a take a slip of paper. I reached in and pulled one out, unfolding it to see a bold number 3 on it. That couldn’t be right…Gaara was number three, wasn’t he?

“Alright, now go down the line and tell us the number on the paper you have. We’ll start on the left.”

“Twelve,” the last Sound genin, Dosu, I think, informed us.

“Six,” Sasuke said plainly.

Naruto was one, just like he’d been in the manga.

“Three,” I told them, happy again to have my lucky number.

“Eleven,” Ryou huffed.

Temari was ten. Kankuro was seven. Gaara was five. Shikamaru was nine. Neji was two. Shino was eight. And finally, that bastard Sho was four. 

“Very well,” the Hokage drew himself up for a big announcement. “Now I will reveal the final tournament. Ibiki, show them the match arrangements.”

Ibiki stepped forward and turned his clipboard around to show us the tournament bracket. Everything was how it should have been from the manga except two things. I was matched up against Sho, and Ryou was to fight Dosu. I glared at Sho, who seemed perfectly smug from where he stood on the far end of the line. I was perfectly happy to smash that fucker’s face into the ground. But then that would mean my second match would be against Naruto…if we got to have our second match, that is. 

“Well then, you’re free to go,” the Hokage stated. “Unless there are any final questions?”

“I got one,” Shikamaru raised his hand. “Since it’s a tournament, that would mean there’s only one winner right? Does that mean only one person can become a chunin?”

“No, that’s not quite right,” the Hokage explained. “There will be judges, including myself and the Kazekage and lords of various countries. Throughout the tournament, these judges will be evaluating your abilities. Those judged to have the necessary qualities of a chunin would be promoted, even if they lose their first match.”

“Then that means that…it’s a possibility that everyone here will become a chunin,” Temari hypothesized. 

“Yes,” the Hokage agreed. “But it’s also possible that no one will become a chunin. Did that answer your question, Shikamaru-kun?”

Shikamaru looked completely put out by the whole scenario. 

“Well then,” the Hokage was all smiles again. “Thank you for all the effort you put into these trails. You’re all dismissed until one month from now!”

 

I sat beside Sasuke in what tou-san called the ‘audience room’. The tatami mats were hard and uncomfortable against my ass, but at least I wasn’t expected to sit seiza style (kaa-san had tried to instill the habit in me but had given up a long time ago). Across from us sat my mother and father. This was the first time I’d seen tou-san since becoming Kourubi. He was a tall man, only barely bulkier than kaa-san. He wore a black coat that was covered in feathers from the waist down, and when he sat the two tails of his coat spread out and looked like wings. His hair was the same shade of brown as mine, but it was obvious I didn’t get my eye color from him. No, his eyes were a warm, earthy shade of brown. I met his contemplative gaze with determination, my shoulders thrown back and my hands clenched into fists on my knees. Kaa-san turned to look at tou-san, worry tugging her pink painted lips downwards. 

“It seems to me that you’ve already decided all of this without us, Kourubi-chan,” tou-san mused.

“I had to do something,” I stated plainly. 

Tou-san’s thoughtful expression melted away into a proud smile. “You’ve done well, Kourubi. I’m proud of you.”

The tension in my mother’s shoulders fell away as she stood from her kneeling. “Well then, Sasuke-kun, how about we go get your room set up for you? Did you bring any changes of clothes?”

I blushed a little. “Oh, um, no. We came straight from the exam…”

Kaa-san just smiled. “Don’t worry, I’m sure we can find some old clothes your father used to use when he was a genin. They might be a bit big on you though, Sasuke-kun. Isamu was always very tall.”

Sasuke followed after my mother like a puppy, his face stuck in what looked like a cross between confusion and a pout. I smiled. Kaa-san would fuss over him relentlessly, but that’s probably what Sasuke needed.

I stood slowly, walking back towards the entrance of the house. Tou-san followed me.

“Where are you going?”

I paused in toeing on my shoes. I didn’t look at him as I answered. “To the hospital. I need to check on Mai.”

“You need to rest,” he argued gently.

“I know. I’m exhausted,” I agreed. “But if I don’t find out if Mai’s okay, I’ll never be able to sleep. I feel bad for leaving Sasuke on his own so soon but I…”

Tou-san nodded. “I understand. Go. But take Gan with you.”

I nodded, calling for Gan and letting him rest on my shoulder before slipping out the door.

 

I walked through the hospital, relief washing over me. Mai was going to be okay. I hadn’t been able to see her, but the medic I’d talked with informed me that Mai would make a full recovery, or mostly. Her injuries hadn’t been career ending, but there had been some complications. With burns like hers, there was no way Mai was going to walk away from this without nerve damage. Likelihood was she’d lose a good deal of sensation in her torso and thighs. Though, I supposed that was better than her having chronic pain because of her burns.

I sighed, closing my eyes and rubbing at my shoulders. Gan hadn’t been allowed in the building for sanitation reasons, which meant I was free to attempt to undo the tension in my shoulders. It wasn’t helping.

I opened my eyes at the sound of a door sliding open and then closed. Kakashi stood in the hall; his shoulders slumped forward with exhaustion. Who was he here to see? Sasuke was fine…

“Kakashi-sensei?” I called.

He looked up, his one visible brow rising in surprise. “Oh, Kourubi-chan. What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with Sasuke?”

“Kaa-san is fussing over Sasuke right now, so I’m sure he’s glad I’m not there to witness it,” I said. “I came to check up on Mai.”

“Ah…how is she?”

I was a little surprised he’d asked. “She’ll be mostly fine. Doctor said she’d probably have some nerve damage…lose some feeling in her torso and legs. Other than that she’s fine.”

“Good…that’s good.”

“What are you doing here, Kakashi-sensei?” I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.

Sadness fell across Kakashi’s face…or what I could see of it at least. He glanced back at the door he’d come from. 

“Gai…never does things halfway,” he tried to explain. “I…wanted to make sure he was going to be okay.”

My breath hitched and I turned to look at the door as well. That…that was Lee’s room? I could feel my nose tickle like it always did before I started crying and quickly looked away. I stuffed my hands in my pockets, hoping to hide their shaking. I could feel Kakashi’s gaze on me. I’d already cried my heart out once today, I didn’t think I could handle doing it again. Especially not in front of him.

“Hey…why don’t you come with me to get something to eat,” he offered.

My gaze shot to his face. My shock must have been pretty evident because his eye crinkled like it always did in the anime to show he was smiling and he chuckled. Oh…oh god that was cute. That’s not fair! He can’t be both hot as hell AND cute as fuck! 

“Do you not want to?” he teased, leaning into my personal space. No! Stay where you are, panties! 

“Of course I want to!” I insisted, probably a little too quickly. “Um, just…let me get Gan to let kaa-san know…”

Kakashi followed me out the front door, raising an amused brow as Gan flew in out of nowhere to land on my shoulder. I informed Gan of the change of plans and sent him off. I turned to Kakashi, deferring to him. Of all of Kourubi’s memories I had easy access to, her food preferences were not one of them. Kakashi began walking at a steady pace towards the main street of the village. I actually managed to keep up with him pretty easily. I was surprised at the lack of height difference between the two of us. I wasn’t entirely sure how tall I was in Kourubi’s body, but she was certainly taller than I had been before. Maybe something like 5’6. Kakashi was only a few inches taller than I was, maybe 5’11. I always imagined him to be much taller than he actually was.

He stopped right in front of the ever-famous Ichiraku ramen stand. I couldn’t help but giggle. I guess I had to end up here sooner or later. We ducked under the banner and I gave a small ‘oh!’ of surprise when I saw Iruka already taking up one of the stools.

“Ah! Kourubi-chan! Kakashi-sensei!” Iruka greeted. “Nice to see you again.”

“I know, it’s been so long,” I joked, my spirits lifted by the chunin’s presence. 

I sat between Iruka and Kakashi, eagerly eating up the attention of both men. The owner and his daughter were quick to greet us as well and set large bowls in front of both Kakashi and I. I quickly dove into the meal, probably burning the roof of my mouth in the process. 

“So, how did Ruki-senpai react to you bringing home Sasuke?” Iruka asked conversationally. It took me a moment to understand he’d been referring to kaa-san.

“As soon as tou-san recognized I’d already made the decision and wasn’t going to let him stop me she started fussing over him,” I told him. 

“Your father wasn’t mad you went behind his back to make such a commitment?” Kakashi drawled. 

“No…actually he was proud of me,” I said slowly, a small smile forming on my face. “I think…he was happy that I’d made such an important decision. He’s probably thinking if I can make these kinds of decisions on my own he’ll be able to step down as clan head soon. Not too soon, I hope. I don’t think I could handle being clan head.”

Iruka reached out to place a reassuring hand on my arm. “I’m sure you’ll be great.”

“It does take a special kind of person to adopt Naruto and Sasuke and Sakura without batting an eye like you did,” Kakashi agreed. “You’ll do your family proud.”

I smiled down into my bowl, feeling my cheeks heat up. “Thanks.” 

We fell into a companionable silence, the sound of us slurping up noodles filling the air instead of chatter. I ate probably far more than I should, especially when Kakashi insisted on footing the bill. The sun had slipped below the horizon and stars were starting to become visible by the time I was sufficiently full. I slipped from my stool and immediately turned and brushed my fingertips lightly against Iruka and Kakashi’s shoulders.

“Walk me home?” I asked, my voice low and maybe even a little coy. 

Was it just me or did a shiver run down their spines? They shared a glance before standing, Iruka moving far more quickly than Kakashi. They let me lead the way, walking on either side of me. I hummed softly as we walked, the butterflies in my stomach going nuts every time my hands brushed against theirs.

“Baby let’s go get lost, I don’t wanna let you go, keeping my fingers crossed that maybe you’ll take the long way home~” 

The lights were on when we arrived at the clan compound. They stopped at the main gate, just within sight of the house. I almost didn’t want to leave. Being with them was fun and comfortable and honestly I didn’t feel nearly as tired as I had before. I sighed, reaching out to touch the dark wood of the gate.

I walked forward, then paused and turned to smile shyly at them over my shoulder. “You know…if I pass the exam…you two should take me on another date.”

I quickly trotted up to the house, reveling in the sputtering noises both men were making behind me. 

 

I woke the next morning to the sound of someone bustling about the kitchen and the smell of food wafting in from my slightly opened door. I rolled oh-so-gracefully out of bed, groaning as I stretched. I felt SO much better than I had the day before. I slipped across the hall to knock on the door of the guest room Sasuke was now occupying. I heard a grumble and opened the door to peer in. Sasuke was wrapped pretty thoroughly in blankets, like he was trying to make a nest or cocoon for himself. He blinked sleepily at me with big, dark eyes.

“Rise and shine, little lion man,” I cooed. “Kaa-san is probably almost done with breakfast.”

He gave a groan, kicking off the blankets as well as he could. I don’t know where kaa-san got the giant white shirt she’d stuck him in, but it made him look tiny and adorable and I loved it. He followed me slowly down the stairs and into the kitchen. Tou-san was already at the table, sipping on some tea. Kaa-san looked up from where she was shoveling rice into bowls and smiled.

“Good morning, you two!” she greeted cheerily. Sasuke looked thoroughly unimpressed in how much of a morning person my mother was. “How did you sleep last night, Sasuke-kun?”

“I didn’t,” he admitted, falling into the chair across from mine. “The birds were loud.”

Kaa-san looked thoughtful for a moment before sympathy fell over her face. “Oh, that’s right. I forgot the flock likes to nest in the tree in front of the guest room’s window. I’m sorry, Sasuke-kun.”

“I’ll see if I can’t get them to move elsewhere,“ tou-san said after a sip of tea. 

“Those birds are pretty stubborn, Isamu, do you really think they’ll move?”

“It might take a while, but they will eventually.”

“Sasuke can sleep in my room until then,” I offered.

“Do you think we can fit a spare futon in there?” Kaa-san wondered.

“If not, my bed is freaking huge,” I reminded. “Pretty sure we could fit four people on there if we tried.”

“Well, if Sasuke-kun is comfortable with that…” 

Kaa-san was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. I jumped up, insisting it’d get it. I slid open the door to see Kakashi standing there. I blushed slightly, remembering the stunt I pulled the night before.

“Kakashi-sensei, what are you doing here?” I asked, trying to keep it cool. 

“I’m here to steal Sasuke away for training,” he replied, smiling causally with his eye. 

“Well, we just sat down for breakfast,” I admitted. “But if you don’t mind waiting, you can come in and sit with us.”

Kakashi nodded, stepping over the threshold and toeing off his shoes. He followed me into the kitchen, surprising kaa-san and tou-san.

“Oh, Kakashi-san! Here to pick up Sasuke-kun?” kaa-san asked. “Well, you’ll have to be patient. Have you eaten yet? I’m sure we have plenty for you as well.”

“Thank you, I appreciate it,” Kakashi said smoothly, pulling up a chair next to me. 

We were mostly quiet as we ate, kaa-san and tou-san keeping a running conversation comprised mostly of small talk with Kakashi. He spoke politely, obviously having some kind of respect for my mother and father. As soon as kaa-san was done she scurried across the kitchen to do something. I glanced over to see her pulling bento boxes down from the cabinet. I smiled. Her fussing over Sasuke was really the nicest thing. 

Sasuke finished quickly, rushing upstairs to get dressed. I walked Kakashi to the door to wait for him. 

“Kakashi-sensei,” I spoke up. “I know you probably feel some sort of connection to Sasuke since you’re both geniuses…and it’s not really my place to tell you how to do your job as a teacher but…please try not to neglect your other students.”

He said nothing, but his eyes narrowed appraisingly at me. Sasuke burst into the entranceway mere seconds later, two bento boxes tucked into a minty green kerchief in his hand. He said a quick goodbye to me before rushing out the door.

“Kakashi-san!” Kaa-san called before Kakashi could disappear as well. “I know whatever training you’ll be putting him through will be tough, so make sure he comes home to rest. Okay?”

Kakashi gave a salute and slipped out the door.

My mother turned to me, hands on her hips and a bright smile on her face. “Now, Kourubi-chan, it’s time to get to your training, too!”

Oh no.

 

I collapsed onto the floor, my body throbbing all over. It was rare that I actually got to spar with tou-san or kaa-san, but when I did they fucking kicked my ass. Well, not really, but they certainly pushed me hard. It was already getting late; I could hear the crickets coming to life out in the garden. Sasuke wasn’t back yet and kaa-san was starting to worry. Tou-san had been called away too. I wondered if Hayate was already dead. No…wait.

I shot up, realization dawning on me. Sasuke never got the curse mark. And he never went to the hospital after his preliminary match. That meant that Kabuto hadn’t gotten to try and kill him, which meant Kakashi never caught him. If Kakashi never caught him, then Hayate had no reason to tail him. If Hayate never tailed him, then he’d never learn that Sound and Sand were teaming up against Konoha. And if he never found that out, then Baki wouldn’t kill him. Somehow, in a really convoluted way, I saved Hayate’s life. I laughed triumphantly and threw myself back onto the floor. Wait…would that mean that Genma wouldn’t show up to the third exam? I hoped not. I liked Genma…even if he did look like a drunk redneck with his backwards bandana and that senbon sticking out of his mouth. 

I nearly jumped out of my skin when the doorbell rang. I scrambled to my feet and rushed to get the door. Kaa-san stuck her head out of the kitchen, a slightly hopefully look on her face. I slid open the door to find Kakashi standing there with a sleeping Sasuke on his back. 

“I figured it’d be rude to refuse a request from the lady of the house,” Kakashi explained, a joking lit to his voice. “So I brought him back, as promised.”

“Here, you can follow me and I’ll get the bed ready for him,” I offered, jerking my thumb to indicate the stairway behind me.

Kaa-san smiled and nodded approvingly. But her eyes narrowed threateningly when Kakashi attempted to step into the house. “No shoes in the house, Hatake Kakashi!”

I tried really hard to hold back my giggles and Kakashi cowed under my mother’s harsh tone. I took the time to slip Sasuke’s shoes off his feet as well, tossing them carelessly to the side. After successfully divesting his shoes, Kakashi followed me deeper into the house. Sasuke slept the whole trip, even when Kakashi had to bounce him a bit to get a better grip as he climbed the stairs. I opened the door to my room and hurried inside to pull back the covers.

Kakashi’s gaze traveled the room, taking everything in.

“Awful nice for a guest room,” he noted, sitting on my bed so he could let Sasuke slip off his back.

“It’s my room, actually,” I admitted, wandering over to remove Sasuke’s headband and set it on the bedside table.

“Oh?”

I shrugged. “The birds like to nest in the tree outside the guest room’s window. They kept him awake last night. My bed could probably fit me, Sasuke, and the rest of your team including you, so it’s really not a big deal.”

I pulled the sheet up to cover Sasuke. It was a bit warm right now to pull the quilt up as well, but if he didn’t wake up before the sun went down I’d probably come back up to finish tucking him in. I brushed a few strands of his hair out of his face with a stupidly fond smile. 

I stood fully and turned to Kakashi, who was looking at me oddly. “Thank you for bringing him home and…I’m sorry for what I said this morning. That was presumptuous of me.” 

“Yes, it was,” Kakashi agreed. Ow. “But it’s obvious you care a lot about my cute little students. You want them all to succeed. I can appreciate that.”

“They’re good kids,” I said lamely, looking down at the floor and rubbing awkwardly at my arm. “I just…want them to be happy. I want to make them happy.”

“You do,” Kakashi insisted softly. 

Oh, don’t take that tone with me you bastard! My heart was fluttering and I could feel heat crawling up my neck. Shit, I couldn’t look him in the eye. Someone save me!

“Kakashi-san?” kaa-san called from downstairs. “Would you like to stay for dinner?”

Kakashi turned and ducked his head out of the room. “No thank you, Ruki-san. Being served breakfast by you this morning was more than I deserve. Thank you for the invitation.”

“Any time, Kakashi-san!”

He ducked back into my room and suddenly the whole place felt too small. He was up in my space again. Oh my god I couldn’t breathe! He reached out and took a few strands of my hair in his fingers. There was something dark in his eye as he stared at me.

“I look forward to seeing how you wear your feathers,” he murmured.

And just like that he was gone. I collapsed onto the bed, barely careful enough to not flop down on top of Sasuke. What the hell did he mean by my feathers? Wait…like kaa-san and tou-san? 

Now that I thought about it, almost everyone who lived in the clan compound wore feathers in their hair. None of the kids did, but anyone who looked like an adult had them. I supposed they were like the fang marks on the Inuzuka’s cheeks, a clan marker of some kind. I ran a hand through my shoulder length hair. I had no idea how I was supposed to wear feathers in hair as short as mine. Tou-san’s hair was nearly as long as kaa-san’s, and hers reached her waist when it was undone. In fact, I was pretty sure I had the shortest hair out of any of the clan members my age or older. I frowned, latching on to my hair and tugging slightly.

“What are you doing?” I jumped, startled from my thoughts, and turned to see a still very sleepy looking Sasuke staring at me.

“Thinking,” I answered vaguely. 

“Stop it,” he grumbled. “I can hear the gears spinning from here.”

“Haha, think your funny do you?” I growled playfully, moving to flop down next to Sasuke. 

“Funnier than you,” Sasuke mocked, a tiny smirk on his face.

“Oh, it is on!” I snapped, jumping up to dig my fingers into his sides, the sheet failing to protect him from my tickles. 

He shouted and tried to scramble away but I wrapped one arm tightly around his waist. My other hand explored all the usually places one would be ticklish. His sides, under his arms, around his neck, not even the backs of his knees were safe from me. He gasped and giggled and shouted in equal measure, begging for mercy. But none would come from me! 

“Stop it! I mean it!” he shouted between bursts of adorable giggles. “Nii-san, stop!”

I froze. He froze. 

“Sasuke?”

“Don’t!” he snapped. “Stop…stop trying to replace them!”

“Sasuke!” I turned him physically so he sat facing me in my lap. “I’m not trying to replace anyone! WE’RE not trying to replace anyone!”

“Then why…”

“Because we care about you, Sasuke,” I insisted softly. “You’ve been alone for a long time and you have a hard time letting people in now. I get that. But just because someone shows you kindness and opens up to let you into their lives doesn’t mean they’re trying to replace your family. And being reminded of the good times you had with your brother isn’t a bad thing. Yes, the memories probably hurt, but that doesn’t mean you have to lock them away.”

Sasuke met my eyes, hurt and confusion evident on his face. He looked like he was going to cry. I pulled him into a hug, letting his forehead rest against my shoulder.

“What Itachi did was terrible, and I can’t imagine what it has been like for you. But…if he can’t be the older sibling you need maybe I can.”

Sasuke shot back up, his eyes wide and his lips drawn into a thin line. I couldn’t tell if he was shocked or angry or what, so I kept going.

“I already see you and your team as my baby siblings,” I explained, giggling a little at the sour look that crossed Sasuke faced at being referred to as a baby. “And if I had my way you and Naruto would never be alone again. I’m sure we could be a family to you… if you wanted us to be.”

Sasuke continued to stare at me, a myriad of emotions flying through his eyes. I smiled softly, hoping my eyes conveyed all of the compassion and love I felt in a way he’d understand. I leaned forward and placed a soft kiss to his forehead. He stiffened at the touch, put he didn’t run away. So that was a start.

“Just think about it, okay?” I asked. He gave a short, jerky nod. Good enough.

“Thank you. Now, let’s go see if dinner is ready.”

 

Mai was released from the hospital two weeks later. I managed to escape my parents’ training to go see her the day she was cleared. Her burns were still wrapped tightly with bandages, but she seemed more than happy to get out of the hospital. 

“I’ll have to come back and get them looked at in a few days,” she explained as we walked. “But other than that I’m free to go.”

“That’s good. I know you can’t stand to be cooped up.”

“You got that right,” she laughed. “Oh, hey, it’s one of your kiddos and that friend of hers.”

I looked up to see Ino and Sakura sitting gloomily on a bench that back up against the partition that separated the hospital’s walk way from the inner courtyard. 

“Hey there, cherry pie,” I called in greeting, smiling when Sakura’s head shot up at the nickname. “Whatcha doing here?”

“We were going to see how Hinata’s doing,” Sakura admitted. “But the nurse said she’d already left.”

“Oh yeah.” Mai scowled bitterly. “Her father came to take her home a day or two ago. He insisted that she’d continue her recovery at home or some shit. She didn’t really look like she wanted to leave, but I doubt she had much of a choice.”

We fell into a somber silence. A shout from the courtyard grabbed our attention. I gasped loudly at the sight of Lee, heavily bandaged and gasping for breath, doing one armed push ups in front of a panicked nurse.

“Lee-kun, stop!” the nurse shouted. “Your body isn’t…”

“Please be quiet!” Lee snapped, his tone unusually harsh. 

I watched him struggle, feeling terribly helpless. What good was saving some random jonin in some stupid roundabout way if I couldn’t even save those I actually cared about? I felt my heart jump up to my throat when his arm finally gave out on him and he tumbled to the ground, passed out from the strain. 

“LEE!” I shouted, vaulting over the partition and rushing to his side. Mai, Ino, and Sakura were right behind me.

“I’ll bring the stretcher,” the nurse told us quickly. “Please watch over him!”

“Hey…Kourubi-senpai…why do boys try so hard?” Sakura asked in a tiny, trembling voice.

I sighed, trying to smile reassuringly as I pulled her into a hug. “I don’t know, cherry pie. I don’t know.”

 

The week before the tournament, Kakashi stopped bringing Sasuke back at night. Kaa-san worried herself half to death, but to be honest I expected it. In the manga Sasuke snuck out of the hospital long before now. I could only hope Orochimaru wouldn’t attempt to go after Sasuke while he was alone with Kakashi.

The day before the exam, kaa-san and tou-san called me into the audience room. They sat stiff in the seiza position. A folded piece of cloth sat before them and kaa-held something in her lap. I sat down in front of them, seiza style this time. 

“Is something wrong?” I asked, my posture stiff. 

“No, sweetie, not at all,” my mother insisted, an amused smile on her lips.

“Then what’s going on?”

My mother and father exchanged a look I couldn’t quite read (but it didn’t seem like a bad look) and he reached for the cloth in front of them. He unfolded it to reveal two long feathers. Both were a beautiful, midnight black that in the setting sun almost looked indigo. One, however, was edged with white. It looked familiar. My eyes widened as my mother’s magpie came to sit on her shoulder. Of course! Our clan literally had hundreds of birds at its beck and call. Of course the feathers in our hair would be from our birds. That meant the other feather would have to be from Kiku-sama.

“I don’t understand…” I murmured. “Why now?”

“Like we would send you to fight in front of the leaders of our world without your feathers,” tou-san laughed. “But it’s more than that.”

My mother set the thing she had been holding down in front of me. It was clothing of some kind. I watched as she unfolded it reverently. It was some sort of cross between a jacket and a dress, a deep, wine red in color. If I put it on, it would probably fall to the middle of my calf. It split into four parts just under where my hips would be, so it was definitely more of a jacket or shirt than a dress. But the design would make it easy to move in, perfect for a ninja. But what drew my eyes the most were the inky black feathers about the shoulders. It looked almost like a boa, which would have seemed ridiculous if it wasn’t so important. The high, stiff looking collar would keep them from irritating or tickling the neck. 

“I still don’t understand,” I admitted, my brows furrowed.

“All Karasuno wear the feathers of their parent’s birds in their hair,” tou-san explained, motioning to the two feathers that still lay on the cloth. “But only the clan head may wear the wings.”

So that’s what they were meant to be. It wasn’t just an aesthetic thing; tou-san’s clothes were specifically designed to resemble wings for symbolic purposes. But if only the clan head could wear the wings...

“Oh,” I whispered. 

My parents said nothing. They were waiting on my decision. I’d have to take over for my father eventually; it was literally what I was born to do. But…even with Kakashi and Iruka’s encouragement from that night…

I closed my eyes, gathering my thoughts, trying to find the right words. I inhaled deeply and opened my eyes to look up at my parents. I smiled a little and I could see the tension melt from their shoulders.

I picked up the jacket and gently folded it back up. I passed it back to my mother, who looked surprised.

“Hang onto that for when I become a chunin,” I said. I reached to pick up the delicate feathers from their cloth, my smile widening a little. “But, I would like to keep these. If that’s okay.”

Tou-san let out a loud, barking laugh, scaring away the birds that had been feeding in the garden. Kaa-san smiled gently, setting the wine colored jacket aside and pulling out a different bundle of cloth from behind her.

“We thought you’d say that,” she murmured. “That’s why we had this one made as well.”

It was almost the exact same design, but a brilliant sky blue in color. It reminded me of Naruto’s eyes. There were no feathers present. This was a gift for the clan head’s daughter, not the clan head herself. 

“Thank you,” I whimpered, tears prickling my eyes. I bent forward; bowing so low my forehead rested against the tatami mats. “Thank you for understanding.”

“Of course,” kaa-san cooed, a noise I hadn’t heard her make since I was a child. No…I’d never heard her make that sound. Kourubi had. I shuddered. How was I already starting to forget myself? 

“Now,” my (Kourubi’s, she was Kourubi’s!) mother stood and held out her hand to me. “Let’s make you a real Karasuno!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs mentioned in this part:
> 
> [Let's Get Lost by Carly Rae Jepsen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2BGjJ_4BTk)


	7. In Which I Fly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your support, it's stuff like that that keeps me writing! This might just be my longest chapter yet (we can blame Neji and his monologue) and it has a little bit of everything: fighting, flirting, FEELINGS! I really hope you enjoy it and I hope to see ya'll in the comments!

Konoha was absolutely bursting with people. I had never had to squeeze through crowds before in the village, but there was no way I could get to the stadium without doing so today. Tou-san and kaa-san weren’t far behind me, leading a small stream of aunts and uncles and cousins. They’d probably take up a whole row all by themselves. 

The stadium was huge, even with most of it built into the ground. It would be able to fit everyone who’d come to watch the exam plus some. Mai stood in front of the entrance, waiting. I jogged up to her, waving excitedly to get her attention. It was warm out, and she was wearing shorts. You could see the pale burn scars plain as day. I swallowed thickly and forced my eyes back up to her face. She’d cut her hair recently; it was even shorter than mine now. 

“Is Ryou here yet?” I asked as I neared. Mai shook her head. I frowned and turned to look around, trying to find him in the crowd. 

“I see him.” she sighed dramatically.

“How can you tell?” I asked.

“Do you know any other ninja with lavender hair?”

“…Fair enough.”

“Actually, I think he has a gradient in it now.”

“Oh my god,” I sighed, slapping my forehead. “Can he be any gayer?”

Mai shrugged nonchalantly. “He could be eating a chocolate dick right now.”

I paused, turning to look at her incredulously. “You can get those?”

Mai snorted. “I forgot how far you live from the red light district.”

Sure enough, Ryou jogged up to us, his hair pale lavender at the tips and a deep royal purple at the roots. I had no idea how much work must have gone into his hair, but it probably took far more time than I was willing to spend on pretty much any part of my appearance…except my feathers.

Kaa-san had braided my feathers masterfully into my hair just behind my left ear. When she was done they looked like they belonged there. Like I hadn’t been complete without them. It was a bit frightening. 

I had no real wish to go home. My life had been terribly boring, in the grand scheme of things. And now that I was here I could fix all the things that were wrong with this world. I had…purpose. And even if I did want to go home I’d have no idea where to start. But everyday I seemed to fall farther and farther into the role of Kourubi. I couldn’t remember my mother’s voice anymore. It was taking longer and longer for me to recall her face, or the face of my father and baby brother. How much longer would it be until I forgot everything? Would…would I no longer be myself then? Did…the person I used to be even exist since I couldn’t even distinguish it from Kourubi? My heart pounded in my chest and I struggled to breathe.

“Kourubi?” Ryou’s questioning tone snapped me out of my existential panic. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” I insisted. “Just…nervous.”

“Don’t be,” he grinned winningly. “Pretty sure you’re way more prepared than I am. I bought industrial strength earplugs and that’s like it. I’m seriously considering just letting my ninneko eat the dude alive.”

I made a face. “Please, not in front of my family. Speaking of which, you can sit with them if you’d like, Mai. Probably better than sitting alone.”

“Eh, no offence to your parents, but I’d rather not,” Mai admitted, watching my extended family gather around the entrance. “Your cousins weird me out. Especially that one that keeps insisting he’s gonna marry you.”

I blinked. “Which one?” As sad of a question as that was. There were a disturbing number of male cousins, especially from the more distant branches of the family tree, who wanted to marry into the main family. And since I was an only child, that meant trying to get in with me. Thank god kaa-san and tou-san weren’t pushing me to make any sort of decision regarding marriage yet. 

“The one that’s staring at us right now,” Mai hissed. “In the green haori…the one whose parents run the bookshop.”

“Fukuro?” I guessed, glancing over my shoulder briefly. Yep, she was talking about Fukuro. He was a fourth or fifth cousin, something like that. I remembered Kourubi getting along with him as a child, but recently he’d seemed…different, less friendly and more aggressive. He was very pretty, to be sure. He almost reminded me of Neji. But he was terribly loud with his opinions, especially when it came to what I did. I didn’t like him. Not one bit. He reminded me way too much of those fedora-wearing ‘nice guys’ from back home. 

“You guys should head in,” Mai said. “Wouldn’t want you to be late.”

“They’re not going anywhere until I get to wish them luck.” We turned to see Noboru-sensei saunter up, hands tucked casually into his pockets. With him was Gai-sensei, looking the same as always. I hoped that meant that Kakashi’s fears about him throwing himself headlong into grief were unfounded. 

But what surprised me the most was that Lee stood between them, hobbling along with a crutch under one arm.

“Lee, it’s good to see you,” I greeted, trying to make my smile as convincing as possible. 

“You as well, Kourubi-senpai,” he replied, his voice much stronger than it had been the day I saw him in the hospital. 

“I, too, must wish luck to Noboru’s most youthful students!” Gai proclaimed, wrapping an arm around Noboru’s waist. “If you do not succeed, I will run 500 laps around Konoha!”

“Why?” Ryou asked.

“Gai, why don’t you and Lee go find us some seats?” Noboru suggested, stopping that conversation before it got started.

“Of course! Come, Lee!” Gai exclaimed.

“Yes, sir!” Lee saluted his mentor and hobbled after him. 

Noboru smiled fondly after them. When he caught us staring at him, though, he blushed a disgustingly cute pink and cleared his throat loudly.

“Are you two ready?” he asked. 

“Probably not,” Ryou admitted with a shrug. “But it’s too late now.”

He snorted. “I’m sure you’ll do fine. But please be careful. Your opponents are dangerous. If it gets to a point where you think you might die, forfeit. There’s no shame in living to fight another day.”

Ryou and I nodded. There was no way I was going to let myself get killed now. Not with everything I still had to do. Sasuke was only now starting to open up to me and my family. If I died now…that would be one more family he’d lost. And I didn’t want to think about how’d it affect Naruto. 

“Go get ‘em,” Noboru said, reaching out to squeeze our shoulders briefly before pushing us towards the gate. 

Ryou and I walked side by side through the main gate and turned towards the door that would lead down to the arena proper. I stopped short at the sound of someone calling my name. I turned to look around, confused. Then I saw him. Iruka stood from his chair and waved, a shy smile on his face. I waved Ryou on and hurried over to greet Iruka, smiling cheerfully.

“Iruka-sensei! Here to cheer for Naruto?”

He smiled a little brighter and rubbed nervously at his scar. I wondered if that was a tic for him. “Yes, I wouldn’t miss his fight for the world.”

“I’m sure he’s glad you’re here,” I insisted. 

“Yeah.” Iruka’s eyes traveled over my body briefly, a blush forming on his cheeks. “You know, I’ve only ever seen you in black and grey before. You…you look good in blue.”

It was then that I remembered I was wearing the tunic my parents had given me the day before. I tugged at it nervously. “Oh, um, thank you. I just got it yesterday.”

I heard Ryou call my name from where he stood in front of the door down into the arena. He waved wildly at me, nearly smacking the chunin guard in the face. 

“I should go…” I admitted lamely.

“Oh, yes. Good luck, Kourubi-chan.”

I smiled shyly at him as I slowly backed away. “I hope you cheer for me just as loudly as you cheer for Naruto.” 

I could feel the heat crawling up my neck and I had to turn around to run away (and maybe, hopefully, giving him an eyeful of my legs as the tails of my jacket-tunic-thing moved around me). 

“You’re thirsty as fuck,” Ryou said with a smirk as we passed by the guards and into the long, dark stairway down to the arena.

“Shut the fuck up,” I groused. 

 

The stairway was dark, even with the lights on the wall. By the time we reached the arena proper, I had to squint against the sunlight. Genma was waiting for us, and for a brief moment I worried that Hayate was dead after all, before remembering that he’d been guarding the door down to the arena. Some of the genin were already lined up, facing the box seats like good little soldiers. Gaara and his siblings, Neji, even Naruto was there already. I moved to stand beside Naruto, Ryou on my other side. Shikamaru showed up shortly after we did, scowling deeply. Sho arrived just after that, Dosu hot on his heels. Ah, so the stupid Sound ninja hadn’t tried to kill off Gaara in an attempt to get to Sasuke. I was actually a little amazed. At this point, the only person who was missing was…

“Hey, nee-chan,” Naruto whispered. “Where’s Sasuke?”

I kept my eyes on the crowd, scanning the sea of indistinct faces. “I don’t know. He hasn’t come home the past couple of days.”

“What?” That was almost a shout. “Aren’t you worried about him?!”

“I would be if he wasn’t with Kakashi-sensei.” 

“Hey, stop messing around,” Genma warned over his shoulder. “Face the customers. You guys are the stars here.”

Ryou absolutely melted beside me. Was he drooling? Ha, who’s thirsty now? 

We stood silently for what felt like forever under the hot sun. Konoha was stupid warm in summer. Probably not nearly as bad as Suna, but Suna didn’t have to deal with humidity. Then again…the humidity would only help me in my match, so I really shouldn’t complain. Finally, I saw the Hokage stand and make his way to the railing of his box. 

“Thank you all for coming to the Konoha Chunin Selection Exam!” he spoke loudly, his voice carrying over the crowd. “We will now start the main tournament matches between the twelve participants who made it through the preliminaries. Please stay and watch until the end!”

Genma turned to face us and Ryou immediately straightened to his full height. Genma pulled out a recreation of the tournament bracket. Nothing had changed, thankfully.

“Just a quick reminder of who’ll you’ll be fighting,” he assured us. “Take a good look and prepare for what might happen after the first round of matches.”

“Hey, hey!” Naruto raised his hand to catch Genma’s attention. “Sasuke isn’t here yet. What are you gonna do?”

“If he doesn’t appear by the time of his match he will be marked down as a loss by default,” Genma explained plainly. He quickly moved along, not bothering to react to Naruto’s concerned expression. “Alright, guys, this is the final test. The arena is different but the rules are the same as in the prelims. Namely, there are none. You fight until one of you dies or acknowledges defeat. But if I determine that the fight is over, I’ll step in and stop it. You got that? Now, the first fight…Uzumaki Naruto, Hyuuga Neji. You two stay here while the rest of you go to the waiting room.”

Naruto and Neji stepped forward while the rest of us filed back towards the dark stairwell. I paused just long enough to give Naruto a one armed hug and whisper ‘good luck’ before Genma’s stare ran me off. I entered the dark inner tunnels of the arena, immediately turning to the direction of a second set of stairs that led back up. I took them two at a time to catch up with the rest of the genin. The waiting room was more like a waiting cave that happened to be open to the arena below. I immediately went to the railing, my whole body tense as Neji and Naruto stared each other down. 

Unlike the smaller scale of the preliminaries’ arena, the finals’ arena was so large it was hard to hear what the combatants were saying. I saw Naruto raise his fist to Neji, like he had done all those weeks ago while his fist dripped with Hinata’s blood. There was no blood now, but the message was still there. Genma called for the match to begin, but the two didn’t move. Then, Naruto summoned a series of Kage bunshin. The five bodies rushed Neji, who gracefully dodged each and every one of them. 

“You’ll never become Hokage like that,” Neji stated, that dumb smirk on his face. “Talent is decided at birth. You could say everything is decided when a person is born.”

“Why the hell do you always automatically decide things like that?!” Naruto demanded, his voice carrying easily in the open air.

“Are you saying anyone can become Hokage through hard work? Only a handful of shinobi are chosen as Hokage,” Neji reminded him. “Look closer at reality! Those that become Hokage are born into that destiny. You don’t become it by trying. People must live within their own unchangeable flow. The only destiny that every person shares…is death…”

His face changed then, I could tell even from where I stood. It looked…sad, resigned. Like he’d given up. 

“So what!?” Naruto shouted. “I’m not good at giving up!”

More kage bunshin. Maybe twenty of them this time. They crowded around Neji, but he slid around all of them. He dashed to the edge of the crowd, finding Naruto there. The real Naruto. He jabbed some point near Naruto’s shoulder and the bunshin disappeared. Blood dribbled from Naruto’s mouth and my heart stopped. I shouted his name, gripping the railing desperately. 

“That’s why I told you it was useless,” Neji spat.

Naruto bent double, panting. But then he laughed. “Heh heh. That’s why…I told you to stop automatically deciding things.”

Naruto disappeared. That…that was also a clone? Then where was the real Naruto? I saw two more Narutos leap for Neji. 

“I’m coming at you with everything I’ve got!”

It looked like he landed the hit with both clones. Neji’s chakra glowed and spun about him like a dome, knocking both Narutos back. No…Neji himself spun like a top. It would look ridiculous if it wasn’t so effective. 

With a speed I hadn’t been expecting Neji spun and his hands slammed into Naruto. Twice, four times, eight, sixteen, thirty-two, sixty-four times. There wasn’t a chakra point on Naruto’s body that hadn’t been hit. Naruto crashed to the ground and skidded along the dirt of the arena floor. 

“I have hit sixty-four points on your body,” Neji informed him. “You can no longer stand.”

Naruto groaned, struggling to regain his footing.

“Heh. Is it painful?” Neji smirked. “Stay on your knees before a power you cannot change and realize your worthlessness. Having your dreams come true through hard work is an illusion.”

“DON’T LISTEN TO HIM, SUNSHINE!” I screamed, feeling Neji’s eyes turn on me. “YOU KNOW WHAT HE’S SAYING ISN’T TRUE! YOU’VE COME SO FAR ALREADY! AND YOU’LL ONLY GO FARTHER, BUT YOU HAVE TO GET UP!”

Pride swelled in my chest as Naruto, despite the odds and everyone in the audience being sure he was done for, stood.

“I told you,” he panted, grin plastered on his face. “I’m not good at giving up.” 

Neji seemed unfazed by any of this. “Quit already, continuing won’t change anything. I have no grudge against you…”

“Shut up! Even if you don’t, I do!” Naruto snapped. “Why…if you’re this strong…why, with those eyes that can see everything…did you mentally attack Hinata who was trying so hard?”

“That’s none of your business,” Neji hissed. 

“Insulting Hinata, automatically deciding she’s a loser…” Naruto’s fists clenched tightly by his sides. “Main family, branch family…I don’t what the hell happened, but I’ll never forgive pieces of shit like you who call other people losers!”

Neji smiled bitterly. “Alright, fine, if you’re going to go that far, then I’ll tell you…the Hyuuga’s destiny of hatred. The Hyuuga main family has a special ninjutsu that’s been passed down…it’s a curse seal jutsu. The curse represents ‘a bird in a cage’. It is…a symbol of being tied down to an inescapable destiny.” 

Neji slowly reached up and untied his headband. Naruto stood stock still, eyes wide and disbelieving. Ryou turned to me, a question in his eyes.

“This is what I meant when I said what the Hyuuga did couldn’t be called ‘normal’,” I hissed, knuckles white as my gripped tightened on the railing. 

“One day when I was four, I had this horrible seal carved into my forehead through that curse seal jutsu,” Neji explained, his voice calm despite his obvious bitterness. “That day, a grand ceremony was taking place in Konoha. A shinobi leader from Kumo, which had been warring with the leaf for many years, had arrived to sign an alliance treaty. But at this ceremony which everyone attended, from jonin to genin, one clan was missing. The Hyuuga clan. Because that day…was an important day for the Hyuuga. Hinata-sama’s third birthday.” He turned to stare into the crowd, finding Hinata’s father. “My father, Hyuuga Hizashi, and Hinata-sama’s father over there, Hyuuga Hiashi-sama, were twins. But Hinata-sama’s father was born to this world first…as a member of the main family. Any my father, the second son, became a member of a branch family. When the Hyuuga’s first daughter became three…I was turned into a caged bird through this curse, as a member of the Hyuuga’s branch family.”

“Why…is that necessary?” Naruto asked, unable to understand. “Why do you need that weird mark to distinguish the main and branch families?”

“Oh sweet child,” I sighed. 

Neji scowled. “This mark on my forehead is not a simple decoration. This curse is the absolute fear of death given to the branch families by the main family. With a simple secret hand seal, the branch member’s mind can be easily destroyed…death is just as easy, of course. And this curse will only disappear after death, sealing up the ability of the Byakugan along with it.”

Ryou gasped and turned to stare at me. “You knew…”

“The Hyuuga are monsters among the clans,” I hissed, anger not entirely mine filling up my heart. “They’re the only ones to do something like that to their people.”

“How could the Hokage allow that?” he demanded loudly, earning looks from the other genin in the room.

“Because it makes them ‘strong’,” I spat. “This is a military dictatorship after all, where children are trained from a young age to kill. Strength is more important than human dignity.”

Ryou stared at me in shock. He had no reply for that. He’d probably never heard anyone refer to the Hokage as a military dictator before, but I’d always had issues with authority. I could never fully trust someone with that much power.

“The Hyuuga house is a clan that holds an advanced bloodline. The number who have gone after those secrets are incalculable,” Neji continued. “So, with this jutsu, the branch family is allowed to live only to protect the main family. The main family allows no disobedience. It is an…effective system, created to eternally protect…the advanced Byakugan blood of the Hyuuga.

“And then…my father was killed by the main family.”

I inhaled deeply, trying desperately to keep my anger in check. This whole story was so sad and just…STUPID! The fact that this was allowed, and had been allowed for YEARS, was infuriating. It made the other clans look bad; it made KONOHA look bad. And more than that, it caused Hinata and Neji so much pain. Neji’s worldview was short sighted and cruel, but when you were exposed to the system that created that worldview…it was almost understandable.

Neji’s story wasn’t done. “One night, Hinata-sama was taken by someone. Hiashi-sama quickly took care of it and killed him. It was dark, and he was wearing a mask. Who do you think it was? He was…the Kumo leader who had just signed the alliance treaty. It was clear he was after the Hyuuga secrets from the beginning, but Kumo made demands of Konoha for breaking the alliance. Of course, the two villages bickered back and forth…it almost came to war. But Konoha wanted to avoid the war, so they made a backdoor deal with Kumo. Kumo wanted the Hyuuga main family’s advanced bloodline and the Byakugan…so they demanded the corpse of Hiashi-sama. And Konoha agreed to their wishes and war was safely avoided. Thanks to my father…who was killed by the main family to replace Hyuuga Hiashi’s corpse. Heheh…the only way to escape this horrible curse…is death.”

A heavy silence fell over the arena. That’s right, Hyuuga clan. How does it feel to have your dirty laundry aired out in front of everyone? Even if it what Neji knew wasn’t the whole truth (and knowing the story like I did, I understood it wasn’t), something was still rotten in the clan of Hyuuga. 

“They were twins, their strength was virtually the same…it was destiny that decided who would be first born and who would be second born,” Neji’s expression was dark, his smirk was closer to a slasher smile than an actual smirk. “And this fight…your destiny was decided from the moment I became your opponent.”

Neji finally returned his headband to his forehead, once more covering the manji-esque seal that resided there.

“Look, I don’t know how much it hurt that your father was killed but…thinking that everything is decided by destiny is a huge mistake!” Naruto insisted.

“You’re hopeless,” Neji muttered. He charged Naruto, striking him in the chest and sending him tumbling once more. “It’s over, examiner.”

But Naruto stood once again. “I won’t...run. I don’t go back on my word. There’s…no way I’ll lose…to a coward who’s always whining about destiny!” 

“An ignorant brat like you shouldn’t be lecturing. People are born burdened with a destiny they cannot oppose!” Neji spat, pointing accusingly at Naruto. “You could never understand what it’s like to be burdened with a symbol you could never rid yourself of!!”

Oh, you ignorant child.

Even as he shook and coughed, even as blood dripped from his mouth, Naruto smiled. “Yeah…I can. And? So what?” Neji’s eye twitched. “Pfft! Stop acting cool…you’re not the only one that’s special.

“And what a bout Hinata? She’s suffered just as much as you! She may be a member of the main family…but she’s never been acknowledged, even as she’s trying her best to change herself! Thinking about all that even as she was coughing blood while fighting you! You’re the same! The branch family is supposed to protect the main family, yet doing that to Hinata…in truth, you’re trying your hardest to disobey destiny!”

“Enough talking! Examiner! I’m going to go at him with the intent to kill. If you want to stop it, then go ahead!” Neji barked. 

Naruto closed his eyes, like he was trying to pull some strength he’d hidden away out of himself. Neji had closed his chakra points, so the only way he’d get any more chakra would be from the Kyuubi. Had he’d learned how to do that? Was that something Jiraiya had taught him? I couldn’t remember. The battles and their winners stood out so much more to me than anything else from the story. 

Neji’s smirk was fucking infuriating. “Can I ask you one thing? Why do you go against your destiny so much?”

Naruto looked him straight in the eye. “Because…I was called a loser.”

Naruto shouted wordlessly, some unfamiliar energy pouring out of him. It healed his wounds and kicked up the dirt around his feet like a windstorm. Neji stared in awe, trying to figure out how Naruto had been able to access chakra when he’d closed off every one of Naruto’s charka points. He flinched away, and shadowy, tail-like tendrils appeared at Naruto’s back and wrapped around him. 

Naruto darted away, faster than I’d ever seen him before. He flicked a series of shuriken Neji’s way, but the Hyuuga simply spun about like he had before, catching them like they were nothing. Neji threw them back, but Naruto dodged. His speed was incredible. I could hardly follow him. 

Naruto rushed towards Neji, his aura tearing up the ground beneath him. “I don’t know about this Hyuuga destiny of hatred or whatever…but if it’s too much for you, then you don’t have to do anything anymore! When I become Hokage, I’ll change the Hyuuga!”

Neji’s defensive aura clashed with Naruto’s and the resulting explosion shook the arena. When it cleared, all that remained were two smoldering holes in the ground. Slowly, with great effort, Neji pulled himself up and out of one of them. He walked on shaky legs towards Naruto’s crater. He started to make one more grand speech to the unconscious body the found there, but then Naruto exploded from the ground under his feet, smashing his fist into Neji’s jaw. Neji fell and the body in Naruto’s crater disappeared. Another bunshin.

Naruto stood proud, panting, over Neji. “I…failed the academy graduation exam three times. Because, unluckily for me, the ninjutsu test on the final exam was always my weakest ninjutsu. The bunshin no jutsu…I always sucked at it. Destiny can’t be changed, blah blah blah. Stop whining about stupid crap like that. Since…you’re not a loser like me.”

“Winner! Uzumaki Naruto!”

“THAT’S RIGHT! THAT’S MY SUNSHINE!” I hollered, jumping up and down and punching the air in celebration. 

Applause roared through the stadium. Everyone, every single person present, clapped for Naruto. They acknowledged him. I felt tears prickle at my eyes. 

“I can’t believe he won,” Shikamaru groaned. “Man, I thought he was a lame ass like me. Jeez, I probably can’t beat him…how depressing.”

I heard triumphant laughter behind me and turned just in time to catch Naruto as he threw himself at me for a hug. His laughter was contagious and I burst into giggles and spun him around. 

“You did so good, Sunshine!” I said as I finally settled him on the ground. “I’m so proud of you!”

“Hehehe,” Naruto snickered as he buried his face in my shirt. “Now I’m one step closer to fight you, nee-chan!”

I froze, my smile falling. I settled a hand in his soft hair and slowly pushed him away.

“I don’t think I’d ever want to fight you, Naruto,” I admitted.

“What? Why not?!” he demanded.

“Well, cause you’re scrappy as hell. You’d probably kick my ass. And what’s more…” I smiled, but my expression was pained. “I don’t think I could ever forgive myself if I hurt you.”

Naruto stared up at me, his pretty blue eyes clouded with confusion. In the world of the shinobi, the desire to fight someone was the greatest honor a ninja could bestow. But I would never want to fight those I cared about. I could never bring myself to do them harm.

“Wanna know why?” I asked. Naruto nodded emphatically. I smiled and knelt down to meet him eye to eye, cupping his cheeks in my hands. He felt warm, like actual sunlight on a cloudless day. I sang to him, “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away~”

I pressed a kiss to the bridge of his nose, giggling when he wrinkled it at the contact. I could feel Ryou rolling his eyes behind me, but that didn’t matter. Naruto’s eyes were wide with awe and affection. They positively sparkled and his dirty cheeks were flushed a pretty pink. I smiled again, pushing up his headband to kiss him once more on the forehead. 

“You better cheer extra loud for me,” I ordered playfully as I stood. 

“You got it!”

“Next match!” Genma shouted. “Hino Sho and Karasuno Kourubi.”

I gave a brief salute to my fellow Konoha shinobi before vaulting over the railing and skidding down the wall with chakra covered hands and feet to the arena below. Sho stared over the side before shrugging and deciding to take the stairs instead. Lame. 

 

Sho finally joined me on the arena floor, hands stuffed casually into his pockets and a smug smile on his face. God, I wanted to punch him SO bad. 

“Whenever you’re ready,” Genma told us, jumping a small distance out of the way.

“So, I’ve heard several of you Konoha ninja talk about your ‘ninja way’,” Sho drawled. “I assume you have one too?”

I thought for a moment and shrugged. “I suppose so.”

“Is it as stupid as the other ones I’ve heard?” Sho queried, head tilted to the side. 

“I don’t think any of them are stupid,” I told him, hands clenching and unclenching at my side.

“Well?” Sho held up a hand in a ‘go ahead’ gesture. “Let’s hear it.”

“Well, if I had to put it into words…” I closed my eyes in thought for a moment before opening them and smiling. “It would have to be ‘love, save the empty’.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Sho snapped.

“Those who were never given love…and those who had love and had it stolen from them,” I explained, raising my gaze to the blue sky above, “I’m going to save them.” I thought of Naruto and Sasuke, Iruka and Kakashi, Lee and Sakura and even Neji. I thought of Noboru and Ryou and Mai. I don’t think there was a thing I wouldn’t do to keep them safe, to make it so they were happy. 

“And how do you plan on doing that?”

I turned my attention back to Sho, smiling so big it reached my eyes. “By giving them every ounce of love I can muster.” 

Sho rolled his eyes. “God, you Konoha shinobi are so soft! Here, let me show you what a real shinobi is like!” 

He started running through hand signs. I recognized the pattern from his fight with Mai, so I bolted in the other direction. There weren’t a whole lot of places I could go…at least if I stayed on the ground. I pushed my chakra to the soles of my feet and hightailed it for the giant expanse of wall in front of me. I could feel the heat of the fire behind me already and glanced back. He was covering the ground in it, save for the small circle in which he and Genma stood. I reached out for Mori and Gan with my chakra, calling for them. 

It was the weirdest feeling, transitioning from running on the ground to running up the wall. But I didn’t have the time to pause and reorient myself. I could feel the fire hot on my heels. I had to go faster. Thankfully, if Mai was the muscle and Ryou was the brain, I was the speed. I pushed chakra into my legs, feeling myself skyrocket over the wall that was now my ground. Faster and faster, higher and higher. The end of the wall was coming up and I could still feel the fire behind me. So I jumped. I used the chakra in my feet to vault myself over the gap and out of the audience’s view. I started running through the hand signs tou-san taught me just before I started to fall. Bird-rabbit-boar-tiger-dog-ram-snake-bird!

“MORI! GAN!” 

I could see them diving towards me. I reached out to touch their chakra with mine. Their forms blurred and merged and fell into mine. I could feel their chakra mix with mine. 

I soared over the arena. It was positively covered in fire. None of the trees or bushes that had decorated the ground were spared. It was a wasteland. I dove, landing inside the small circle of safety Sho had maintained for himself and Genma.

I looked up at him. His jaw dropped. His fires died. I extended my wings.

“Karasuno style. Beast Transformation: Wings of Midnight!”

I could hear the roar of my family’s cheering behind me. It’d taken me weeks to learn how to perform this technique correctly. I almost hadn’t mastered it in time. I released the jutsu, Mori and Gan flying off into the sky. The wings would only get in the way now, especially with how large they were. I smirked at him.

“Time for my comeback, bitch!” I shouted, running through a hopefully familiar set of hand signs. 

“MELODY FROM ANOTHER WORLD!”

The energetic guitars were familiar, if not what I’d expected to hear. I moved quickly, running through the hand signs for my Water-Heavens Convergence. Water droplets fell from the sky and seeped up from the ground beneath my feet. That would hopefully protect me from any more fire jutsu. Then, I took a page from Naruto’s book, summoning several Kage bunshin. To add another layer of showmanship, my clones transformed, taking the forms of those I’d come to call important to me since becoming Kourubi. Ryou, Mai, Noboru, kaa-san and tou-san, Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi, Iruka, Lee, Gai; they were all here. Sho’s face turned pale.

“Sho, meet the people who are precious to me,” I declared. “They’re gonna help me kick your ass!”

‘Voices resonating in unison, we step over the Goal Line  
We still don’t know anything~’

I couldn’t count on my clones being able to use any of the jutsu their real selves knew, but I’d like to think I knew their taijutsu styles well enough that they could still pound Sho into the ground in the right way. I landed the first punch; afterwards a clone of Mai shoved her elbow into his back. Lee and Gai landed solid kicks to Sho’s face. Sakura knocked Sho’s legs out from underneath him just in time for Sasuke and Naruto stab him with twin kunai. Sho made a valiant effort to fight back, but there were too many of us. It really wasn’t fair, but who said I wanted this fight to be fair? I took extraordinary glee in watch the Mai clone grapple Sho into a hold and break his arm just before the Ryou clone smacked him in the face with a charred branch he’d picked up. I jumped back, letting my clones take care of Sho for a moment while I started running through a long ass series of hand signs. Ox-monkey-hare-rat-boar-bird-ox-horse-bird-rat …why did this technique have so many hand signs goddammit! I had to hurry, or I was going to miss the end of the song and lose the dramatic flair!

‘Clutching the things we hold dear,  
We’ll become more mature,  
Whichever me I become, I’ll continue to protect you without letting go~’

I was almost done. Ram-rat-ox-monkey-bird-yang water-rat-boar-bird! 

“Suiton! Water Dragon Bullet!” 

My clones dispersed as the water droplets in the air around me merged together and shot towards Sho, taking on the form of a dragon just before it slammed into him. The dragon continued to charge forward until it met the wall, water pushing against the stone until there was none left. Sho’s body slid down the wall, crumpling to the soggy ground beneath him. Genma wandered over to him casually, bending down to check his pulse. He stood with a tiny smirk and help up a hand in my direction.

“Winner: Karasuno Kourubi.”

I heard Naruto’s cheers first, then Ryou’s, then the stadium exploded into shouts and applause. 

“Permission to celebrate, sir?” I asked Genma. He shrugged. I took that as the go ahead. I turned my face up to the sky, bending backwards in a way I never could have done before, and shouted into the endless blue. “FUCK YEAH!”

Genma shook his head. “Get the hell off my field.” 

I was fucking tired; there was no way I had the energy to climb the wall like before, so stairs it was. The climb felt much longer now than it had before. I was grateful that I’d have at least a little time to recover before everything went to shit. 

“NEE-CHAN!” Naruto plowed into me, actually knocking me down this time.

“Fucking ow,” I groaned, the drain I’d put on my chakra reserves suddenly very evident. 

“You were amazing, nee-chan! The way you used kage bunshin just like I did and that water dragon jutsu! It was so cool!”

“Thanks, Sunshine.” I sat up with a groan. “But you can get off me now.”

Naruto scrambled off me, holding out a hand to help me up. He kept a hold of my hand as he dragged me back over the railing with the rest of the genin. Ryou smacked my shoulder lightly with a proud grin. 

The crowd was getting restless. With two pretty damn amazing matches already over, they were raring to go for Sasuke and Gaara’s match. But Sasuke still wasn’t here. Goddammit, Kakashi, of all the times to be late!

“What the heck is that guy doing?” Shikamaru muttered. “Is he planning on not coming?”

Shino hummed thoughtfully. “Confucius said, ‘the wise do not approach the dangerous.’ A wise decision, perhaps?”

Naruto looked over at Gaara, whose face was as impassive as ever. “What are you talking about? He’s definitely going to come!”

There was motion in the arena as Raido appeared next to Genma to whisper something in his ear. Genma scowled, obviously less than pleased with whatever message had been passed on. 

“Ladies and gentlemen! The contestant for the next match hasn’t arrived yet!” he announced. “Therefore, we will push this match back and begin the next one!”

“The hell?” Ryou muttered.

“He’s the last Uchiha,” I reminded. “Plus he’s been advertised as a genius. Most of the lords are probably here to see this match specifically. There’s no way they’re going to just write it off as a forfeit and move on.”

“And now, the next match!” Genma continued. “Kankuro and Aburame Shino!”

I watched as Kankuro’s face flew through a series of emotions, the most prominent one being panic. He shared a quick glance with his sister before announcing his forfeit. Temari made a noise of disgust before kicking up a raging wind and riding her giant fan down to the arena below. Shikamaru looked like he was going to forfeit for a hot second before Naruto LITERALLY PUSHED HIM OVER THE RAILING.

“Sunshine…might not want to do that sort of thing if you wanna keep your friends,” I commented dryly. 

Genma didn’t even have the chance to officially start the match before Temari was on the attack. Girl was a go-getter; I’d give her that. I never understood how the hell Shikamaru managed to get on top of those kunai he stuck into the wall and even now, seeing it in person, I had no idea how he did it. 

“Ya know, I don’t really wanna fight, and I don’t care whether I become a chunin or not,” Shikamaru drawled. “But I’m not going to lose to a girl.”

“You’ll lose to ME if you don’t stop being a sexist ass, kiddo!” I shouted down, earning a laugh from Ryou. 

Temari’s attacks kicked up so much dust that it was hard to follow the match. I could hear Ino’s loud cheering over everything else, even Naruto’s shouts right beside me. My gaze scanned over the crowd. I could see the line of Karasunos towards the top of the stands. Other than that, I couldn’t pick anyone else out. I couldn’t find Mai or Noboru-sensei and Gai. I tried to follow Ino’s cheering back to Sakura, but that was harder to do than I’d hoped. I turned my attention back to the match. Shikamaru had launched his shirt parachute…thing into the air to help extend his Shadow Possession technique. This match would be shorter than I expected. 

I watched Temari dance around the arena in an attempt to escape Shikamaru’s jutsu. Eventually, however, using the tunnel Naruto had somehow dug during his fight with Neji, Shikamaru caught her. The audience, who just a few minutes ago had been jeering this match as a whole, were paying attention. Shikamaru and Temari strode towards each other, Temari trembling and shaking as she tried desperately to break the control Shikamaru had on her. He raised his hand, Temari’s flinching as she did the same.

“That’s it…I give up,” Shikamaru announced plainly. “The continuous use of the Shadow Possession Jutsu has used up all of my chakra. I can barely hold you for ten more seconds. I had thought up about two hundred more moves but it looks like I’m out of time. I’m getting tired of this anyway, one match is enough for me.”

Temari was announced as the winner. I huffed, unable to keep a small smile of fondness off my face. 

“Why’d he give up? Is he an idiot? This pisses me off, I’m gonna go give him a lecture!!” Naruto shouted, one leg already over the railing. I grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and pulled him back over.

“Wait until he gets back up here, Sunshine,” I chided. “It’s Ryou’s turn to kick ass next.”

Naruto’s gaze moved to Ryou, who was already piecing together his favorite staff. He ran a hand through his purple and lavender hair, probably trying to steady his nerves. I punched him lightly in the shoulder. “Good luck, asshole.”

“Thanks, bitch.”

“I will never understand your friendship,” Naruto muttered, crossing his arms and shaking his head.

“It’s not really all that different from your relationship with Sasuke,” I shrugged as Ryou leapt over the railing. “We’re not really rivals or anything, but there’s an edge that keeps us pushing ourselves harder. Our insults sound harsh, but there’s no bite behind them, unlike yours and Sasuke’s. We understand that no matter what we say, we’ll always have their best interests in mind.”

Naruto hummed thoughtfully. Dosu seemed pretty eager to get started as well. I wondered how Ryou would handle him. Ryou was pretty obviously a close range fighter, despite being a medic. I could only hope he’d be okay.

Wait…was Ryou flirting with Genma? He was standing pretty damn close him. I leaned farther over the railing, trying to catch what Ryou was saying. Dosu growled something angrily and Ryou sent him a glare before sighing and rolling his eyes dramatically. He stepped away from Genma anyway, twirling his staff expertly. Genma called for the match to begin and Dosu wasted no time to trying and get close to Ryou. Ryou was already stuffing his earplugs into his ears, smirking at Dosu. 

“Do they not have earplugs where you’re from?” Ryou shouted, talking louder than usual purely because he couldn’t hear himself. “I live with a fuckton of cats, kiddo. I have to use these if I want any sleep.” 

Ryou winced a little when Dosu’s sound wave hit his ear. It might not have done nearly as much damage as it would have otherwise, but it probably still hurt. Ryou smacked at Dosu with his staff, but the damage he was able to inflict seemed fairly minimal. Ryou scowled. He pulled out a series of kunai, throwing them Dosu’s way. That weird contraption on his arm blocked them easily. Ryou disappeared. I had no idea where he’d gone. 

There was a loud yowling and a giant Maine Coon leapt at Dosu, biting down on the junction between his neck and shoulder. It wore a miniature Konoha headband tied around his neck. A ninneko? Another cat shot out, this one a tiny grey tabby, couldn’t be any more than a kitten. The kitten bit harshly down on Dosu’ ankle. Yet another cat, bigger than the tabby but smaller than the maine coon latched on to Dosu’s arm that didn’t carry his sound wave machine. Two more cats joined, latching onto Dosu’s other leg. 

“What the fuck!?” Dosu shouted, trying to throw off the cats, only for them to dig their teeth and claws deeper into his flesh. 

Ryou reappeared then, his hands glowing medical green once again. He ran at Dosu, who was still struggling to throw the cats off. Ryou’s hand slammed into Dosu’s chest. Dosu froze. Then he jerked and coughed, the bandages around his mouth staining red. The cats released him, jumping away as he staggered around drunkenly before collapsing to the ground. 

“I made a shallow cut in his aorta,” Ryou informed Genma. “He’ll survive if he gets immediate medical attention, but I feel I should stress the ‘immediate’ part of that sentence.”

“Winner: Nekozawa Ryou!” 

I shouted gleefully and jumped over the railing, Naruto just behind me. I threw an arm around Ryou and pulled him into a hug.

“Well done, you glorious motherfucker!” I cheered, a wicked grin on my face. “Also thank you for not actually letting your cats eat him alive. I don’t think my stomach could have handled that.”

“Bastard tasted nasty anyway,” one of the cats, cream colored with darker markings about his ears and face and tail, growled. His voice sounded like a middle-aged man. The faces Naruto and I made must have been particularly funny, because Ryou burst out laughing.

“Don’t worry, Tiramisu, I only let my kitties eat the best.” 

Dosu was cleared off the field. Naruto looked around nervously. Sasuke still wasn’t here yet. How the hell was he not here yet? He’d had plenty of time!

“Argh! What is the idiot doing?” Naruto shouted. “He’s not here yet?!”

A leaf that couldn’t possibly come from the arena, seeing as Sho had burned every bit of greenery to ash, fluttered into my sight line. Then more leaves, swirling about in a whirlwind. As the leaves cleared, I could see two figures standing back to back. Those…dorks!

Naruto’s look of awe quickly morphed into an ecstatic grin as Sasuke and Kakashi revealed themselves. Kakashi looked the same as ever. Sasuke on the other hand…why was he wearing a black onesie? It was like he’d sewn his old shirt and shorts together and dunked it in black paint. It was absolutely ridiculous. 

“Sorry we’re late,” Kakashi apologized with that stupid smile of his.

Genma smirked, obviously amused by the whole thing. “Your name?”

“Uchiha Sasuke.”

“Sasuke!” I jumped forward, pulling him into a hug. He squirmed against me, probably embarrassed but I just squeezed him tighter. “Kaa-san was worried about you! And what the fuck are you wearing?”

“Shut up!” he groaned, though it sounded more like a whine. “And let go of me.”

“Shut up and let me hug you,” I snapped playfully, squeezing him extra tight before finally letting him go. 

“Ha! I never expected you to be this late!” Naruto exclaimed. “I was beginning to think you weren’t gonna show up ‘cuz you were too afraid to fight me!”

“Heh…don’t get too worked up, you moron,” Sasuke mocked. His tone changed as he gave Naruto an once-over. “Given your excitement, I’m guessing you won in the first round?”

“Of course!” 

Sasuke turned his gaze to me. Compared to Naruto I was relatively unscathed. “And you?”

“Do you really have such little faith in me, baby brother?” 

The endearment made Sasuke tense and earned me plenty of strange looks. Genma looked the most surprised, but Naruto seemed to roll with it. I smiled at Sasuke. With everything that had happened, with how much I wanted him to feel like he was family, how could I not see him as my little brother? Him and Naruto both. They were both my baby brothers. I’d told Sasuke as much already. He met my eyes, considered me. The tension in his muscles lessened, but did not go away entirely. 

“Well, we showed up all flashy and the like,” Kakashi said slowly. “But…could Sasuke have been…disqualified?”

Genma shook his head. “Geez, your tardiness must be contagious. Don’t worry. We pushed Sasuke’s fight to the end. He hasn’t been disqualified.”

Kakashi laughed nervously. “That’s good, then.”

A chill ran down my spine. I turned along with Kakashi and Sasuke to stare up at the waiting room. Gaara stared down, not at us collectively but solely at Sasuke. 

“Don’t lose to that guy,” Naruto muttered.

“Yeah…”

“Sasuke!” Sasuke blinked in surprise at Naruto’s sudden outburst. Naruto stared him down, determination blazing in his too blue eyes. “I want to fight you!”

Sasuke met his gaze without flinching. He didn’t smirk or smile. 

“Yeah.”

God these dumb boys! Naruto grinned despite the lackluster reply. I rolled my eyes SO HARD at the both of them. Kakashi sent me a sympathetic look. I smiled at him, hoping he understood that he had my thanks for looking after Sasuke, even if I didn’t say anything. 

Sasuke’s gaze had returned to Gaara. Genma sighed heavily.

“Gaara, get down here!”

“C’mon, you guys. I don’t wanna be down here when those two go at each other,” Ryou said, pushing Naruto and me back towards the stairs. “And you guys can go. Thanks for your help!”

The cats nodded and vanished in a puff of smoke. We climbed the stairs slowly. Well, me and Ryou were going slowly. Naruto was all too happy to take the steps two at a time. At least until he suddenly stopped.

“What’s wrong, Sunshine?” I asked quietly. 

He nodded his head in the direction of the corridor at the top of the stairs that led to the waiting room. Two ninjas had stepped into Gaara’s path. Oh, those stupid bastards.

“These low level tournaments are great for betting,” one was saying. “Many of the ministers are here for that alone…”

“And so,” the other stepped in. “Would you mind losing this fight?”

Sand leaked from the gourd on Gaara’s back and I turned to look away. Hearing the sound alone was probably worse than seeing it, but I couldn’t bring myself to look. The noises suddenly stopped. And then, footsteps. Gaara slowly came down the hall and passed us on the stairs like we weren’t even there. I shuddered. We rushed back to the waiting room, hurrying past the mess of blood. I gripped the railing, staring down at the arena. This…this was the match that was going to kill me. 

Genma called the match to begin. Sand immediately began flowing from Gaara’s gourd. Sasuke leapt backwards, knowing exactly what would happen if that sand got a hold of him. Gaara flinched, groaning painfully. 

“Please…don’t be so angry…mother.”

I shuddered. 

“I fed you some nasty blood earlier,” Gaara rasped. “I’m sorry. But this time…it will be delicious.”

Gaara flinched again, and then seemed to calm. Naruto and Shikamaru were whispering to each other when Naruto suddenly broke out in a cold sweat. 

Sasuke casually flicked a few shuriken at Gaara. Gaara’s sand shot up to catch the shuriken, shifting to form a clone of Gaara. Sasuke charged him with a wordless shout. The sand exploded outwards towards him and Sasuke jumped into the air. The sand clone threw the shuriken it had caught at Sasuke, who threw another set of shuriken to block them. Sasuke kicked at the sand ineffectively. He landed on his hands, somersaulting into the air once more. He smacked at the sand clone’s throat with the back of his fist, only for it to be caught. I held my breath as Sasuke struck at the clone’s face with the heel of his palm. He seemed to break through the sand barrier, but Gaara simply erected another one closer to him. I saw the smirk on Sasuke’s face the split second before he flickered out of sight and appeared again behind Gaara. He’d gotten fast. Like Lee. He landed a punch on Gaara’s cheek, the sand armor cracking under the force. 

Sasuke darted around Gaara’s defenses easily. He’d gotten so fast, I was having a hard time keeping track of his movements. He landed a solid kick on Gaara’s chest, knocking him back. Gaara staggered back up, but Sasuke wasn’t about to give him a chance to recover completely. He ran around Gaara, kicking him again, this time in the face. He reached out and grabbed Gaara’s sash and kneed him in the gut. The style was so familiar…almost like he’d copied more than just Lee’s speed.

“It’s like watching Lee’s fight all over again,” Ryou muttered, his eyes focused on the combatants below. 

“Perks of the Sharingan, I guess,” I whispered back.

Gaara’s sand built up around him, completely surrounding him in a way it never had during his match with Lee. Naruto’s face paled a little more.

“Shikamaru,” he turned to his friend. “I’m going to find Kakashi-sensei!”

“What are you planning to do?” Shikamaru asked. Naruto turned to the exit, and ran off. “HEY!”

“I’m gonna stop this fight!” Naruto shouted over his shoulder. 

Shikamaru made a loud noise of frustration before following after him. My gaze darted back and forth between the space where Naruto had just been standing and the arena below. Gaara was completely incased in an orb of sand now. Sasuke punched it, but it didn’t even leave a dent. Instead, the sand had shot out in spears, cutting along Sasuke’s cheek and leg. He jumped back, panting and trying to assess the situation. What was I supposed to do in this situation? My hand gripped the railing. 

“Go,” I heard Ryou hiss at me. “I’ll keep an eye on the match but something is clearly wrong with Naruto. GO!”

I took off running after Naruto and Shikamaru. They didn’t slow down when they heard me coming, but it didn’t matter. My strides were much longer than theirs and I caught up with them quickly enough. We sprinted to the civilian stands. I cried out wordlessly in relief when I saw the shock of silver hair. 

“KAKASHI-SENSEI!” Naruto yelled out. 

Kakashi turned, and so did the others around him. Gai, Lee, Noboru-sensei, even Sakura, Ino, and Chouji were there. We skidded to a halt just before the stairs down into the seats. Shikamaru and Naruto panted harshly.

“Hn? What’s up?” Kakashi asked casually.

“Sensei! Stop this match right now!” Naruto demanded. Kakashi and Sakura looked shocked by the very idea. “He’s totally different from us! He’s not normal!”

“Naruto, breathe,” I soothed, placing a hand on his shoulder. “We don’t understand what you’re talking about.”

“He lives to kill others!” Naruto shouted desperately. “At this rate, Sasuke will die! Kakashi-sensei!”

My hand tightened on Naruto’s shoulder. I raised my eyes to stare at Kakashi. He didn’t meet my gaze. In fact, he closed his eyes calmly. 

“Don’t worry,” he assured. “Sasuke and I weren’t late for nothing.”

I couldn’t see what was going on in the arena very well from where I stood. But at this point, Sasuke would probably understand he couldn’t get through the orb of sand by conventional means. 

“Sensei,” Sakura spoke up. “What do you mean that you weren’t late for nothing?”

“Hn? You wanna know?”

Naruto growled in frustration. “Look, we don’t have time for this!”

“Be quiet and watch him,” Kakashi interrupted smoothly. “You’ll be surprised.”

Sasuke was up on the wall now, like I had been for my own fight. He flashed a hand sign and shoved his hand downwards, his other gripping his wrist tightly. His hand began to glow and spark. My eyes widened.

The Chidori. 

“No way!” Gai shouted, standing from his seat. “Is that…?”

Kakashi smiled. “The reason I trained Sasuke is because he’s…the same type as me.”

The Chidori grew in size and power, tearing up the stone of the wall just around Sasuke. With a smirk, he charged down the wall, digging a trench in it with the energy of the Chidori as he went. 

“I see…” Guy frowned. “So that’s why you only trained in taijutsu and had him increase his speed.”

“Yup.”

“Incredible,” Sakura exclaimed. “You can clearly see the chakra in his hand! What’s going on?”

Sasuke finally landed on the ground, running straight at Gaara. The energy in his hand chirped wildly. 

“What is that?” Sakura shouted. “The sound…”

“A simple stab,” Gai explained. “But it’s …Konoha’s number one technician, Copy Ninja Kakashi’s sole original technique. It’s a technique made for assassination. The speed of the stab and the great amount of chakra creates the heightened flesh. Because the chakra is concentrated in the hand, and with the speed of the user, you hear that sound…like a thousand birds running towards you. Thus, that technique is called Chidori.”

Sasuke’s hand slammed into the sand, piercing it. 

“Chidori,” Gai repeated. “Also known as the Lightning Blade.”

“Lightning blade?” Sakura echoed.

“Kakashi earned it that nickname when he cut a bolt of lighting using the technique,” Gai explained briefly. “But its true name is Chidori. It’s known for its stabbing speed that pushes the limit of the human body…and the huge amount of chakra that is focused in a single arm. That arm becomes the blade of a sword that cuts anything. But…it’s a truly ridiculous technique.”

That last bit was said with a pout, Gai’s arms crossed tightly over his chest. 

A bone-chilling scream came from the arena down below. I rushed down the stairs to get a better look at what was going on. Sasuke was panicking, trying desperately to pull his arm from the sand. He summoned the Chidori once again and another scream shook the air. When Sasuke was finally able to pull his arm out, something distinctly inhuman came with him. 

“What the hell is that?!” Noboru-sensei shouted, leaping from his seat.

Sasuke knelt on the ground, frozen and shaking in what I could only assume was fear. The …thing retreated back into the orb, but the hole Sasuke had made remained. Something…something wasn’t right.

The orb cracked and dissolved, revealing Gaara once again. He was bleeding. 

Suddenly, feathers began falling around me. Shit! The genjutsu! Kabuto’s genjutsu! I slammed my hands together in the tiger sign, releasing a burst of chakra to dispel the genjutsu away from me. Gai, Kakashi, Noboru-sensei, and Sakura all did the same. There was an explosion in the Kage’s box.

The Konoha Crush had begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs mentioned in this chapter:
> 
> Naruto Shippuden Opening 16: Silhouette by KANA-BOON [tv size here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXeb9cb6k0I) and [full song here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HuCQbYZVH0)


	8. In Which There is Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your support! 50 kudos is a huge milestone and I adore you all for helping me get this far and for encouraging me. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I hope to see you all in the comments!

There was the sound of an explosion and the entire stadium shook. The village wall had fallen, that much I knew for sure. Too much was happening at once! The Kazekage had the Hokage in a chokehold, holding him hostage against the ANBU who were attempting to intervene. The two ninja who had been guarding the supposed Kazekage split into four. The next thing I knew, a giant violet barrier had been erected on the roof of the arena, blocking off any chance the ANBU (or any one else for that matter) had from getting to the Hokage. 

My eyes darted from the barrier that surrounded the Hokage to the walkway in front of the stands. A man in a dark cloak and a white animal mask appeared there, soon joined by eight masked Sound ninja. 

“This is bad…” Kakashi muttered.

“So there are nine traitors,” Gai observed, his voice lower than it usually was.

“That man in the mask,” Noboru said slowly. “He’s the one who cast the genjutsu.”

By this point, Gaara’s siblings and their jonin instructor had entered the arena proper, shielding Gaara from Sasuke and Genma. Gaara was bent over, clutching his head like he was in pain. Moments later, after making an apparently tough decision, Temari and Kankuro took Gaara and left the arena. Seconds later, Sasuke left after them.

“Sasuke!” I shouted after him. I tried to move to catch up with him, but a hand on my shoulder stopped me. I whipped around to see Kakashi, a grim look in his eye. 

“Don’t do anything too hasty now,” he warned. “There’s too many high level ninja to be acting recklessly.”

“It’s not just that,” Gai said. “The situation is much more dire. Look inside the barrier.”

Kakashi turned, to look at the barrier, his eyes squinting a little bit. Then, his face went pale and his hand fell from my shoulder as the shock hit him.

“Orochimaru!”

Sakura flinched at the name, turning to try and find Sasuke on the field, paling when she realized he was gone. Two Sound ninjas appeared before her. Before I could even move, Kakashi disposed of the threat, stabbing each man in the head. Sakura ducked down, arms over her head and eyes closed as blood sprayed in a wide arc.

And just like that there was fighting all over the place. Jonin who’d been able to beat back the genjutsu clashed with the invaders. Gai and Noboru-sensei fought back-to-back, working in perfect unison. I felt, for probably the second time in my new life, totally useless. 

A Sound ninja entered my line of sight and I flicked a shuriken in his direction. He dodged it effortlessly, rushing at me with a kunai in hand. I barely dodged the blade, bending over backwards to avoid being stabbed. Just as my opponent adjusted the kunai so he could stab downwards, a sword came shrieking through the air and removed his head from his shoulders. I shivered violently as blood hit my face. I fell back against the stairs, stomach churning. 

“Are you alright, Kourubi-chan?” 

I flinched at the familiar voice. I looked up to see my mother standing above me, concern on her face. She held a tanto in her hand, blood dripping from the blade and onto the floor below us. My father appeared suddenly by her side, his hands bloody and a cut ran along his forehead, dripping blood into his eye. There was so much blood. So…so much blood. 

I turned and immediately retched violently on the stairs beneath me. I was shaking. My vision blurred. 

“Kourubi-chan…” I could hear my father’s soft voice call my name. I inhaled deeply, trying to ignore the smell of blood and vomit. I slowly stood, still shaking.

“I’m fine…I’m fine.”

“Kourubi-chan, Sakura.” I turned my gaze to Kakashi, who stood resolute in front of his student. “I need you to dispel the genjutsu on Naruto and Shikamaru. This will be the first mission you’ve had in quite a while. I’m sure Naruto will be happy.”

I glanced over my shoulder at the sleeping forms of Naruto and Shikamaru, so far spared from the violence. 

“What kind of mission?” Sakura asked, her voice shaking.

“Listen carefully,” Kakashi said, his voice low and dangerous. “For the first time since the Wave Country mission…this will be an A rank mission.”

Another Sound ninja fell to Kakashi’s kunai, blood spraying over the sleeping civilians. I shuddered. 

“Sasuke is in pursuit of Gaara and the others from Suna,” Kakashi explained. “Sakura, you are to nullify the genjutsu on Naruto and Shikamaru, and with Kourubi-chan you will track down Sasuke.”

“But…then shouldn’t I wake up Ino and Chouji too? Then all of us…”

Kakashi shook his head. “Most likely shinobi from Suna and Sound have already entered the village. If you take any more than a basic four-man team, you lose speed and it becomes harder to remain hidden. You learned that during the patrol drills at the academy, right? But there’s one more thing.”

Kakashi used his kunai to create a small cut in his thumb. He slammed his hand down onto the back of the unconscious man in front of him, summoning forth a small pug with a Konoha headband.

“This guy is Pakkun,” Kakashi explained. “He’ll be able to track Sasuke down by scent.”

“This little doggy?” Sakura clearly didn’t believe him.

Pakkun scowled and hopped across the unconscious bodies around us to meet Sakura face to face.

“Hey, missy! Don’t call me a cute little doggy!”

“Quickly, Sakura! Nullify the genjutsu!” Kakashi ordered. 

Sakura quickly shimmied out of her spot, crawling on her belly across the ground to get around the bodies of her friends. I leapt up the stairs, luckily missing the puddle of vomit I’d left behind. I crouched over Naruto and Shikamaru, kunai drawn. Sakura peeked over the top of the stairs, Pakkun at her side. She clamored up to Naruto, throwing up the tiger sign before tapping him lightly. He snorted lightly as he awoke, rubbing at his eyes as he at up.

“Huh? What happened, Sakura-chan?”

“I’ll tell you later, stay down!” Sakura hissed, pushing Naruto back towards the floor. 

She shuffled over the Shikamaru. She peered down at him and paused, confusion on her face. That confusion quickly fell into something more like annoyance.

“Shikamaru, from the very beginning…” Pakkun wandered up to bite at Shikamaru’s exposed calf. Shikamaru shot up with a pained yelp. Sakura pointed accusatorily at him and shouted, “You were able to deflect the genjutsu too! Why were you playing possum?!”

Shikamaru scowled, pulling Pakkun from his leg and pinching at the dog’s cheek. “I didn’t want to be attacked! Besides, I don’t wanna be part of this! Who cares about Sasuke?”

Pakkun bit down on Shikamaru’s offending hand. I glared at the lazy genin. I cared about Sasuke, thank you very much! 

Suddenly, a Sound ninja appeared behind Naruto. Sakura cried out a warning and I made to move, but I was too slow. Gai slammed into the ninja, punching him into the wall so hard it left a spider web of cracks in the stone.

“Fast!” the Sound ninja gasped out.

Gai smirked. “Not just fast!”

He let out a wordless cry and finished punching the enemy through the wall, sending him flying. 

“Wow…Noboru-sensei’s boyfriend is a monster!”

I turned to see Ryou standing there, his usual staff replaced with what looked like a comically large nakiri knife. Relief washed over me as I fought the urge to hug him.

“Good to see you’re not dead yet,” I greeted.

“Such little faith in me,” he replied with a snort.

Kakashi appeared behind us, putting his body between us genin and the fighting. “I’ll tell the mission one more time. Once you’ve heard it, escape through that hole. Chase after Sasuke, join up with him, and stop him. Then take him to a safe location.”

“Wait, what happened to Sasuke?!” Naruto demanded.

“I’ll tell you on the way, let’s go!” Sakura shouted, grabbing Naruto about the waist and dragging him through the hole in the wall.

Shikamaru grumbled loudly but followed after them. I ran for the hole, but paused and turned to Ryou.

“Ryou, find Mai and Iruka-sensei! If they’re not awake, get them up! If they are awake, keep them from dying!”

“You got it! Now fucking GO!”

I turned and jumped through the hole, bounding through the trees. I could feel Mori and Gan’s chakra tugging at mine anxiously. I tried to calm my own fear, hoping they could sense the calm through our bond. I need them to keep an eye on things from the sky, needed them to be out of the fighting. 

I caught up with Sakura and the others some time later, after Sakura had already explained the situation to Naruto. Pakkun’s nose twitched and he careened off to the right. We followed close behind. As we ran, my mind wandered back to the arena. I had a general knowledge of what was going on. The Third Hokage was fighting Orochimaru. Kakashi, Gai, Noboru, and my mother and father were fighting what probably seemed like an endless army of Sound ninja. But it was what I didn’t know that bugged me. Had Ryou found Mai and Iruka? What was Mai doing? Were kaa-san and tou-san alright? What about the rest of my family? I didn’t like Fukuro but that didn’t mean I wanted him to get hurt. 

Pakkun’s nose twitched again and he turned to shout over his shoulder at us. “Hey! You guys need to pick up the pace! There are two squads with eight…no nine men chasing us.”

“What? Already?” Shikamaru snapped. “Man, you’ve got to be kidding me!”

“They don’t seem to have a fix on our true position yet, but they’re closing in on us pretty quick,” Pakkun said. 

“Shit, they’re probably all beyond chunin level,” Shikamaru hissed. “If they catch up with us, we’ll be annihilated.”

“You’re a really optimistic guy, ain’t ya,” I muttered sarcastically. 

“Well, what if we ambushed them?” Naruto asked.

Shikamaru shook his head. “Wouldn’t work. In order to ambush someone there are two conditions that have to be met: first, those fleeing must move without making noise and discover the enemy before the enemy discovers them; second, they must locate and quickly conceal themselves in a place and position where you can catch the enemy off guard and ensure you cause maximum damage to them. We’ve got the first condition covered thanks to Pakkun’s nose. But while it may seem like we would be able to secure the best position to surprise them since this is our home and we’re familiar with the geography, the plan wouldn’t work against the subordinates of a shinobi from Konoha. They’re probably all ninja who have mastered the art of hunting, who will have been taught the geography of this land and practiced endlessly for this battle. 

“Even with that though, an ambush would still be advantageous to us but there are too many undecided factors involved!” Shikamaru continued. “The enemy’s a ninja squad that’s been organized specifically for this plan. Where as we have an idiot, a kunoichi with no special talent, a dog, a showboat, and the guy who’s best at running away: me.”

Showboat? Is that how he saw me? Well, I guess that’s a legitimate opinion given my fights so far…

“Looks like there’s really only one thing we can do…” he muttered.

“What’s that?” Sakura asked.

“We need to create a diversion that looks as if we’re going to ambush them,” Shikamaru said. “One of us will have to remain behind and delay them by faking an ambush.”

“Right…so who’s the decoy?” I asked.

“Well, who ever it is who stays behind will probably…die.”

I inhaled sharply. A heavy silence fell over us; the only thing I could hear was the rushing wind. Naruto frowned and made to volunteer but Shikamaru interrupted him.

“I guess I’m the one,” he said, looking like he’d rather do anything else in the world. “Out of all of us, if I had to pick someone who could play decoy and win, it’d be me.”

He grabbed a thick tree branch and used it to whip himself around to face behind us. The rest of us stopped on branches just beyond him. 

“Besides,” he said over his shoulder, “the shadow possession jutsu was originally used as a delaying tactic, you know.” He turned to look back towards the direction the enemy ninja were surly coming from. “Well?! I’ll catch up with you later so hurry up and go!”

Naruto nodded. “We’ll be depending on you!”

He and Sakura and Pakkun turned and left. I hesitated, because I always seem to.

“Don’t die, you lazy bastard!” I shouted back at Shikamaru. “I’m actually starting to like you!”

I didn’t hang around to hear his response.

 

I had no idea how long we ran through the trees. It honestly seemed like it would go on forever without end. Nothing but a sea of brown and green. Sasuke...would we ever catch up with you?

Pakkun turned to shout back at us. “Sasuke’s movement has stopped. There’s still a little ways to go but…”

“Oh, thank god,” I whispered. “Hang in there, baby brother, we’re coming.”

“Wait!” Pakkun barked. “There’s someone else besides us chasing Sasuke!”

“Is it an enemy or an ally?” Sakura asked.

“I don’t know,” Pakkun admitted. “But…it’s not human.”

There was a rumbling up ahead. Had Gaara started transforming already? What about Shino and Kankuro’s fight? Was it over already? Not knowing things was seriously fucking me up. 

There! I could see them. Or I could see something. Two shapes moving in the distance. One looked distinctly inhuman. That must be Gaara. By this point, Sasuke had probably used up his all the shots he had with the Chidori. And there was no curse mark to refill his chakra. I could see him hit the tree branch. NO!

Naruto’s sudden burst of speed caught me off guard as he shot forward and kicked Gaara in the face before he could reach Sasuke. Sakura, Pakkun, and I landed just beside Sasuke’s prone form. He struggled to get back to his feet. 

“Hey, nee-chan!” Naruto called. He turned to look at me, pointing to Gaara’s half transformed form. “Who the hell is that?!”

“That’s Gaara, baby brother,” I told him. I felt Sasuke twitch beside me as I used the endearment. Did he mind that I called Naruto my brother too? Guh, whatever. I’ll deal with that later.

Naruto’s face paled and his eyes widened in shock. Something akin to anger filled his eyes as he turned to meet Gaara’s gaze. Sasuke was trembling. Something was wrong, like he’d run out of chakra or something. We had to get him out of here.

My head shot up when I heard Naruto yell a warning at us. Gaara was flying at us, his gurgling, rasping voice shouting at Sasuke to die. In that moment, something snapped inside Sakura. She whipped around, kunai in hand, and faced down Gaara. There was something in her eyes that resonated with Gaara somehow, I could tell, but that didn’t stop him from using his mutated arm to pin her to a tree. I snatched Sasuke away, landing beside Naruto on another tree branch. Sakura was knocked out and bleeding. Fuck, I felt so useless. Gaara clutched at his head, his whole body shaking. There was confusion in his one still human eye. It was the same look he had when Gai stepped in to save Lee during the preliminaries. He…

He almost looked like he wanted to cry. 

I clutched Sasuke to myself, desperately willing the pain in my chest to go away. The fear, the panic, the dread…but most of all the intense desire to heal a wound I had no way of repairing. I could feel the tears prickling my eyes, but I couldn’t tell what caused them. There was too much going on in my head.

“What’s the matter?” Gaara rasped, finally coming back to the present. “Weren’t you going to retreat?”

He glanced from Naruto, to me, to Sasuke, to Sakura, and then back to Naruto. “These people…what do they mean to you?”

“T-they’re my friends! Leave them alone, or else I’ll kick your ass!” Naruto shouted, sounding far more courageous then he probably felt.

Gaara glared at him, his mutated hand squeezing Sakura tighter, causing her to cry out in pain. I flinched, tightening my hold on Sasuke, who groaned.

“What now?” Gaara demanded. “Aren’t you going to kick my ass?”

Naruto clenched his fists, glaring Gaara down. “Bring it on! Damn you!”

Naruto jumped forward, but was quickly knocked back by Gaara’s tail. Well, it wasn’t so much Gaara’s tail as Shukaku’s tail but that didn’t really matter right now. Sasuke stirred beside me, his eyes barely opening. At least he was aware of what was going on. Naruto’s eyes darted to Sakura. His’ frown deepened, like he’d come to some sort of decision. And he threw up the ram sign before slamming his hand down on the branch at his feet. The summoning jutsu.

But instead of the giant toad he’d been hoping for, a tiny, colorful toad appeared instead. Which one was it? Gamakichi? I never really bothered to memorize the names of the toads. Pretty much as soon as Naruto realized what had happened the two began yelling at each other. Goddammit, Sunshine, now is not the time!

Gaara growled and his body shifted, becoming even less human. There was hardly anything left of the actual Gaara anymore. The only thing I could see was Shukaku. He retracted his arm, leaving behind a sandy impression of his hand around Sakura.

“She won’t be released from the sand unless you beat me,” Gaara told Naruto. “Not only that, but it’ll get tighter and tighter as time passes and eventually kill her.”

Gaara curled in on himself before suddenly throwing his arms wide. Tiny shuriken of sand flew towards us. I jumped away with my arms wrapped protectively around Sasuke. Naruto snatched up the tiny toad, wrapping himself around it so it wouldn’t get hurt.

“NARUTO!” I shouted, watching helplessly as the sand slammed into his body and sent him flying back into another tree branch. 

Naruto struggled back to his feet. I could see a flurry of emotions pass through his too blue eyes. Pain, loneliness, sadness, anger, but most of all there was understanding. Naruto saw himself in Gaara. If he hadn’t met Iruka…if he hadn’t been placed on Team Seven with Sakura and Sasuke and Kakashi…if…if I hadn’t replaced Kourubi and been so insistent with my affection and encouragement. I didn’t want to think Naruto could have been like Gaara…but when it came to Naruto anything was possible, even if those things were frightening.

“Well? C’mon!” Gaara shouted. “I’ll kill the girl if you don’t fight me!”

Naruto spat a curse as he leapt at Gaara, summoning several shadow clones. Mouths appeared all over Gaara’s monstrous body, inhaling deeply and then blowing out a massive gust of wind and sand. Naruto was blown back several feet, and his clones disappeared, unable to take the assault. 

“I won’t kill you now,” Gaara promised. “I’ll play with you for a while. I wonder when you’ll give up your comrades and run off to save your ass. Not that I’ll let you get away.”

Barrage after barrage of sand shurkin plowed into Naruto. And I…I just sat there helplessly. I knew I had to do something, but my body wouldn’t move. Fear had paralyzed me. Some shinobi I was. All I could to was cling tightly to Sasuke and hope.

Naruto slowly, shakily, rose to his feet. His eyes were angry and determined. This…this was the turning point. Naruto always got that look in his eyes before he got his second wind. C’mon, Sunshine. Please win.

He pulled out a kunai and what looked like an explosion tag. He wrapped the tag around the kunai and summoned another small troop of clones. They flew at him, throwing the real Naruto forward. He jumped around Gaara, summoning more and more clones to do what I couldn’t tell. And then…

He shoved the Kunai up what I assumed was supposed to be Gaara’s ass with a cry of ‘One Thousand Years of Pain.’

Oh my god.

Gaara stared at Naruto for a moment before his tail flicked out and sent him flying. But I could hear the sizzle of the explosion tag and I ducked down, covering Sasuke’s body with my own as the tag exploded. Naruto slammed into us, knocking us back into a tree truck. Sasuke managed to keep Naruto from getting hurt, but my body hit the tree proper, the full weight of Naruto and Sasuke slamming into my torso. I fought to catch my breath as the wind was knocked out of me. Oh god, that hurt. Think I might have cracked a few ribs.

“Finally managed to go back to your normal self?” Sasuke wheezed at Naruto. “Even after all that you only managed one blow…shape up will you. I can’t save you this time like I did back in Wave Country. You dimwit.”

“Shut up, will you…” Naruto snapped back, but it was lacking in bite.

“Okay, that’s the second time someone’s mentioned Wave Country,” I grumbled, wincing when I realized it kinda hurt to breathe. “When this is over you’re gonna have to fill me in on what the fuck happened there. And would you two get along for once. I don’t like listening to my baby brothers fight.”

Sasuke glared tiredly at me. “Stop calling us that.”

“Never.”

Sasuke shook his head, his expression turning grim. “Hey, Naruto. You have to save Sakura no matter what. I know you can do it. Once you’ve got her…carry her, and you and Kourubi run as far and as fast as you can. If it’s just for a while, I should be able to hold him back…”

“Sasuke, I can still fight,” I insisted.

“No!” I flinched back at the force behind Sasuke’s words. “Never again…I’ve already lost everything once. I don’t want to watch those precious to me die before my eyes again.”

Oh…I get it now. My lips pressed into a thin line. I wanted to be happy that Sasuke considered us to be precious but in the current context, all I felt was a heavy sadness. I wanted to argue. I couldn’t leave him behind, dammit. 

“I get it,” Naruto said softly, cutting off any argument I could make. I turned my gaze to his back. “Yeah, that’s right. Because he was like me…because he lived feeling the same kind of loneliness and sadness I did…I thought he was strong ‘cause he survived that solitude by fighting only for himself.

“But I was wrong. His strength isn’t real because real strength doesn’t come from fighting alone. You don’t get real strength when you only fight for yourself.” Naruto squared his shoulders, raising his hands to form the ram sign. His expression was hard. His eyes were blazing with a fire I’d yet to see in his eyes, even with everything that had happened before now. 

Sasuke whispered his name in some sort of awe. I stood shakily, leaning back against the tree trunk to keep balance. Naruto yelled wordlessly and I felt the full force of the Kyuubi’s chakra as it poured out of him. 

“I will protect them,” Naruto declared. “No matter what!”

Hundreds if not thousands of kage bunshin appeared in the trees, covering every piece of available space. My jaw dropped at the sight. Sasuke fell on his ass, staring up at Naruto in astonishment. 

“You…this…” He couldn’t find words. 

“Sasuke, nee-chan, you take it easy,” Naruto said calmly. “You just leave the rest up to me.”

The clones charged Gaara, who seemed unable to move after the explosion, possibly because he had to reform his sand body. The clones sent a flurry of shuriken his way, which he blocked with his still intact arm. Naruto and his clones combined their efforts into a modified Uzumaki Naruto Rendan, four clones kicking Gaara up into the air for something like a dozen or so clones to punch from all different directions. Gaara was sent crashing into the ground. Naruto and his clones dove after him. Something happened, I couldn’t see it, but the next thing I knew there was an explosion and a giant, fully formed Shukaku stood in the middle of the forest. 

“Wha…what is that?!” Sasuke gasped. 

“That is Shukaku,” I told him, glaring at the beast. “The Ichibi.”

Shukaku extended his hand, sand dripping from his claws. The sand wrapped around Naruto, just like it did before any of Gaara’s kills. Sasuke shouted Naruto’s name, but he’d lost too much chakra already. There was nothing he could do. Just before the sand finished wrapping around him, I saw Naruto lift his hand to wipe at the blood dripping from his lips.

An explosion ripped the sand coffin wide open and another giant appeared in the trees. But at least this one, this giant fucking toad, was on our side. Good ol’ Gamabunta…I guess? The giant toad and Naruto were having some kind of conversation but it was hard to follow seeing as I could only hear half of it. But suddenly Gamabunta was drawing the GIANT SWORD he had from behind his back. This…this world was so fucking weird. And this is coming from the girl who summoned a flock of talking corvids on a semi regular basis.

I reached out and grabbed on to Sasuke. “I think we need to get out of the way.” 

The two giant creatures charged each other. At some point, Gamabunta’s sword went flying away from him. The impact when it landed shook the whole forest and I struggled to keep Sasuke and myself from falling out of the tree. We were lucky we were off to the side of the actual fighting, but that didn’t make me feel much better about the whole situation.

I could hardly tell what was going on, but there were powerful winds and water fell from the sky like rain. Then, there was puff of smoke like someone was performing a transformation and suddenly, instead of a toad, the Kyuubi stood before us. The Kyuubi launched itself at Shukaku, latching onto it with its fangs. Another poof and Gamabunta was back. Naruto must have gotten onto Shukaku’s head to attempt to wake up Gaara. 

I watched as Shukaku suddenly began to crumble away. Naruto did it. Of course he did. 

“Did he win?” Sasuke asked quietly.

“Yeah, little lion man.” I coughed and reached up to ruffle Sasuke’s hair. “He won. Well… almost. There’s still one last thing he has to do.”

Naruto and Gaara fell to the treetops, barely able to catch themselves. They stood facing each other, Gamabunta’s sword between them. Gamabunta and the little toad Naruto had summoned earlier disappeared. Soon after, the sword did as well. And Naruto and Gaara leapt at each other for the last blow. 

Naruto’s punch landed. Gaara fell to the forest below. The two of them landed with a painful sounding thud on the forest floor. The sand around Sakura’s body slowly fell away. Sasuke jumped to catch her, settling her gently on a tree branch beside Pakkun. He murmured something to the small dog before turning to look at me, a question in his eyes. I nodded and the two of us jumped away to try and find Naruto. 

I caught sight of him crawling across the dirt with only enough strength to move his chin. He inched closer and closer to Gaara, moving in the most painful and pathetic way. 

“D-don’t come any closer!” there was fear in Gaara’s voice and eyes. 

“It’s almost unbearable, isn’t it…the pain of being all alone. I know that feeling; I’ve been there, in that dark and lonely place,” Naruto said softly, his voice pained. “But now there are others, other people who mean a lot to me. I care more about them than I do myself, and I won’t let anyone hurt them. That’s why I’ll never give up. I’ll stop you, even if I have to kill you!”

“Why?” Gaara rasped. “Why do you go so far for their sake?”

“Because…they were the ones to save me from my loneliness. They were the first to accept me as who I am. They’re…they’re my friends.”

Sasuke and I landed at Naruto’s side. 

“That’s enough Naruto,” Sasuke soothed. “Sakura’s fine now. He’s most likely out of chakra, the sand holding her completely collapsed.”

“That’s good…” Naruto mumbled, losing consciousness.

I sighed and looked to Gaara. Gathering my courage, I took a few steps toward him, then a few more, until I was able to kneel beside him. He looked up at me in confusion. 

“You okay, kiddo? Sunshine didn’t rough you up too bad, did he?”

“Why…?”

“You and Sunshine are a lot alike,” I murmured, reaching up to brush away some of the dirt from Gaara’s cheek. “You both had it pretty rough, didn’t you? You probably had it worse. The one person you thought cared…didn’t. If you had even one person who really, honestly cared about you…you probably would have turned out more like Naruto. I kind of wish…I’d come to this world earlier…maybe I could have helped you.”

“I don’t understand…”

I huffed a little, trying hard not to wince as my cracked ribs protested. “Didn’t you hear me back at the stadium? The people who have never been given love, and those who had love taken away from them…I’m going to save those people. And that includes you, Gaara.”

“I-“

“Gaara!” Temari and Kankuro jumped down from the trees above us, their stances defensive. 

I stepped back slowly, hands raised. Temari and Kankuro watched with nervous eyes and I continued to walk backwards until I stood next to Sasuke once more.

“That’s enough,” Gaara murmured. “It’s over.”

Kankuro looked confused, but didn’t argue. He bent down to wrap his brother’s arm around his shoulders and they left. 

“C’mon…”I said, my voice soft and tired. “Let’s get back to the village.”


	9. In Which I Tell The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, I cried a lot while writing this chapter, it's very emotional. 
> 
> Also, as a thank you to you guys for helping me reach 70 kudos, I've started posting my little side project AUs for Kourubi and the gang over in the series [Melody From Another Ship](http://archiveofourown.org/series/496624) These won't be updated nearly as regularly as the main fic, but if I have something I think is worth sharing, then I'll post it there. Or, if for some reason I can't make the usual update, I might post something there instead. So keep an eye out. I have lots of little au ideas :D

It rained the day of the Third Hokage’s funeral. Perhaps that was for the best; shinobi were not meant to cry and the rain hid the tears quite well. But I…I had no tears to cry for the man who lay dead before us. I hadn’t known him, and he had lived a long life, far longer than was to be expected of a shinobi who had fought in the great wars. No, I would not, could not, cry for him. 

But I could cry for Konohamaru. I could cry for the child experiencing death for the first time. I could cry for the child who had lost someone dear to them. 

I wiped my tears on the soaked sleeve of my black shirt and sniffed quietly, holding my head high. I could feel my mother’s glances and the heaviness of my father’s hand on my shoulder. Sasuke stood beside me and I resisted the urge to reach out and grab his hand. Even with the immediate threat of Orochimaru gone, he had remained under the care of the Karasuno clan. If I had my way, Sasuke would just be adopted into the clan permanently. But I didn’t have that sort of power, not yet. 

I blinked up at the sky as the rain stopped and sunlight peeked through the dark clouds. God, it was all terribly symbolic or whatever. After the ceremony, Sasuke slipped away to go speak with his team. I, in turn, went to stand with mine. We were quiet, all of us terribly tired. I glanced up and frowned at Mai’s broken arm. My arm wrapped around my torso, hand feeling the thick bandages that were wrapped around me. Noboru-sensei leaned heavily on his crutch. Ryou’s neck was wrapped in bandages, evidence of a Suna ninja’s attempt to slit his throat. We were lucky to still be alive. 

From what Ryou had told me, Mai had apparently not been in the stands when the genjutsu was activated. She’d run off to the restroom or something. I couldn’t remember. When she came back, she’d found Hinata and Kiba unconscious and spent the attack defending the two genin. Mai had heavily implied that some of the Sound shinobi had been targeting Hinata for her Byakugan. Considering Orochimaru’s thing for kekkei genkai, that didn’t surprise me. Ryou had been unable to find Iruka during the attack, which had caused me a good deal of grief. I sought him out rather desperately in the aftermath of the attack, finding him at the academy. He assured me that he’d been able to shake off the genjutsu and had immediately left the stadium to help with the evacuation of the academy students. All in all, everyone I really cared about turned out okay. Even my home was relatively unscathed. Windows had been broken and part of the outer wall had been destroyed, but the house itself was mostly untouched.

Then again, this was probably the tamest conflict Konoha would see. 

 

“Kourubi-chan.” I turned from my teammates to see my mother standing just behind me. “It’s time to go home.”

I nodded. “I’ll get Sasuke.”

I approached Team Seven slowly, not really wanting to take Sasuke away from his friends and teammates. Kakashi glanced up at me, causing the genin to turn to see who he was looking at. 

“Nee-chan?” Naruto called.

I smiled a little, which probably looked fake given how tired I obviously was. “Sorry, I have to steal Sasuke away. Kaa-san says it’s time to go home.”

Sasuke hesitated and my smile fell away. He did that a lot when I called the compound ‘home’. Did he still not see it as his home? Or was it something else? I wanted to ask but I couldn’t here. Then again, I doubt I’d get a clear answer from him no matter where I asked. Eventually he stepped away from his teammates and came to stand by my side. I wrapped an arm around his shoulders, happy that he didn’t shy away from me.

The walk back to the compound was silent. Kaa-san and tou-san walked ahead of Sasuke and me, their arms linked tightly together. The whole of Konoha seemed deserted, such a stark contrast to how it had been just a few days ago that it made me uneasy. I had let my arm drop from Sasuke’s shoulders about half way back to the compound. His hands were stuffed into the pockets of his probably soaked pants. Unlike the movies, there had been no giant black umbrellas for when it started raining at the Hokage’s funeral. 

The house was dark when we arrived. None of us bothered to turn on the lights. Sasuke and I trudged up the stairs. I opened my door and stepped aside without a word to let him through. He flopped down on my bed in the most graceful manner I’d ever seen anyone flop.

“Don’t get my bed wet, baby brother,” I grumbled. “Go change clothes if you’re gonna do that.”

Sasuke huffed but obeyed, wandering out of my room and across the hall to the room that had simply become his. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. His stuff was in that room, but he was almost never in the room himself. The birds had been chased out of the tree weeks ago, but he still slept in my room, in my bed. 

Sasuke talked in his sleep. He didn’t say a whole lot, but he said enough that I could understand what sort of dream he was having. He’d been dreaming about his family a lot recently. 

I slipped out of my soaked clothes, tossing them into a hamper in the corner of my room. I grabbed a towel and dried my skin before grabbing a large shirt and tugging that over my head. I was riffling through my drawers for some shorts or something to wear underneath and complete my pajamas when my door opened again and Sasuke wandered back in. His face was void of emotion, unless you counted exhaustion as an emotion. He was wearing that giant white shirt he usually wore to sleep. He fell back onto my bed, curling into himself atop the quilt. His eyes were open; staring at the pale, peach colored pillow covers without actually seeing them. I sighed, slipping on a pair of loose shorts and climbing onto the bed. 

I lay on my back, staring up at the ceiling. One arm reached out to wrap around Sasuke and tug him towards me. He felt cold. I pressed a small kiss to his still wet hair and shifted us around so I could pull the quilt out from under us. I yanked it over us and pulled him closer. He tucked his head into my neck and I could feel his warm breath against my shoulder. 

“I didn’t think today would make me so tired,” I mumbled.

Sasuke made a noncommittal grunt.

“You okay?”

A nod.

“Would you tell me if you weren’t?”

Another unhelpful sound. I assumed that meant no. I sighed, but figured it was best to leave it alone. I felt Sasuke’s breathing slow as he drifted off into sleep. Despite my own exhaustion, I couldn’t bring myself to fall asleep. I lay awake, rubbing soothing circles up and down Sasuke’s spine. 

Everything after this point was pretty fuzzy for me. I knew Itachi would show up soon, but I had no idea how soon. And after he came and fucked shit up Naruto would come back with Tsunade. After THAT, Sasuke, in the original story, would leave with Orochimaru’s lackeys. I could only hope I’d done enough that Sasuke would stay. I had offered him all I could give him: friendship, platonic and even familial love, and the chance to have a family again. I’d laid it all out on the table; now all I could do was wait for him to make his choice. 

Sasuke shifted next to me, one hand reaching up to clutch at my sleep shirt. He made a pained noise in his sleep. I shushed him softly, pressing kisses to his hair and continuing to rub spiraling patterns into his back. He calmed, his hand still fisted tightly in my shirt, but he’d stopped groaning at least. 

Then I heard it. It was quiet, but I definitely heard it.

Sasuke sighed. “Nee-san…”

I blinked, turning my head to look at Sasuke fully. He slept on, as if nothing had happened. I gave a short, breathless laugh, tears prickling my eyes. I rolled over to embrace him fully, hugging him close to my chest. He groaned and I could feel his eyelashes against my skin as his eyes fluttered open.

“Kourubi?”

“It’s nothing, baby brother,” I whispered. “Go back to sleep.”

 

Sasuke went out to meet with Kakashi the next day. I wandered down the stairs to find tou-san sitting on the engawa facing the back garden. I sat beside him, looking out onto the garden was well. It was a large space, full of green grass and kaa-san’s favorite flowers. Towards the far end was a small hill under a tall cherry tree. It was lovely. 

“If you have something to say, you should probably say it.” tou-san chuckled.

I jumped a little, my cheeks heating up. I coughed awkwardly as I tried to center myself. “Um, tou-san…I was wondering, since Sasuke is probably going to stay with us indefinitely…if maybe, we could …possibly… give him…”

Tou-san laughed, loud and from his very core. “How did I know you were going to ask that? Of course we can. He’s family after all.”

I turned to face him properly, the biggest, brightest grin on my face. Tou-san matched it with a smile of his own, reaching out to ruffle my hair affectionately. “I’ll go get the family contract.”

I watched him stand and walk away, a giddy giggle bubbling up in my chest. I could hear the front door sliding open and the stomping of irritated feet. I stood and made my way back into the house, finding a scowling Sasuke sitting at the kitchen table with his arms crossed over his chest.

“What’s wrong, kiddo?” I asked, slipping into the seat beside him.

“Something’s going on,” he muttered, looking absolutely livid. “Kakashi canceled training and told me to go home, but something’s up. I think…I think my brother is here.”

I froze, eyes wide. So soon? That couldn’t be right, could it? “Are you sure?”

“No, but…I thought I felt his chakra.”

I reached out, pushing his hair away from his face. He met my gaze, his posture loosening. “Well, if he is here, then what I’m about to tell you might just be even more important than I thought.”

He raised a brow in curiosity, silently asking me to continue.

“I know you haven’t been here terribly long, but it doesn’t seem like you’re going to be leaving anytime soon. You’re family, Sasuke, even if you don’t fully believe us when we say it. And as family, there are a few things you’re entitled to…like, for instance, a bird.”

Sasuke’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped. His arms dropped to his sides. “You’re…serious.”

“Of course I am,” I told him. “I’ve already spoke to tou-san about it. He agrees. You’re family. He’s already gone to get the family’s contract. Do you…do you want to sign it?”

He was silent for a moment, indecision in his eyes. I wondered if he thought he’d be betraying his family if he signed the contract. I never really knew much about the Uchiha in general, just Sasuke and Itachi. Did the Uchiha have their own family summons?

“But…” Sasuke spoke cautiously. “I’m not a Karasuno…I’m an Uchiha.”

“No one’s asking you to change your name,” I insisted gently. “You will always be Uchiha Sasuke. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be part of the Karasuno family. It’s like…like when a bride marries into her husband’s family. Just because she’s joined another family doesn’t mean she’s no longer her mother’s daughter, or her brother’s sister.”

Sasuke seemed to consider this.

“Besides, Naruto’s already signed a summoning contract,” I teased. “And corvids are way cooler than toads.”

Sasuke gave a little snort of laughter. Finally, I got a smile out of him. “Alright, where’s this contract?”

“In the audience room.” We turned to see tou-san standing in the doorway, a grin on his face. 

We followed him into the audience room, the sliding doors open to the garden just beyond the engawa. A large scroll lay open on the tatami mats. I could see my name, written in dried blood, just before the blank space where Sasuke’s name would go. Technically, the Karasuno had more than one summon contract. The head family had its own scroll, separate from the rest of the clan. The fact that tou-san had brought the clan head’s scroll for Sasuke to sign said far more than any words could. 

I sat next to Sasuke, pulling out a senbon. I held out my hand to him.

“It has to be signed with your dominant hand,” I said quietly. He lay his left hand palm up in mine. I pricked his thumb, watching the blood swell on this fingertip.

He wrote his name slowly, carefully, on the pure white paper. Then, smearing each of his fingertips with blood, he sealed the contract with his fingerprints. Tou-san smiled, handing Sasuke a handkerchief to wipe his hand on.

“Now, let’s see who your partner is,” he instructed. 

“Partner?” Sasuke echoed.

I nodded. “The first bird you summon is your partner. Like how Mori and Gan are my partners.”

Sasuke hummed thoughtfully. I ran him through the hand signs. Boar-dog-bird-monkey-ram. He slammed his hand down on the tatami mats harder than was strictly necessary. There was a puff of smoke and as it cleared I could see a small, young bird sitting before Sasuke. It was almost completely black, save for a patch of red along its shoulders. It stared up at Sasuke hopefully. 

Sasuke stared back, totally unsure of what to do next. “Do I…do I name it?” 

“You can, if you don’t I’m sure they’ll come up with a name for themselves eventually,” tou-san said with a shrug.

Sasuke held out his hand, waiting for the bird to hop into it. The bird did, fluttering its wings nervously as Sasuke raised his hand to eye level. He stared hard at his feathered companion. The bird hopped anxiously, giving a tiny peep. 

“Tsutsuji.” Sasuke decided.

The bird tilted its head to the side before mimicking Sasuke in a tiny, high-pitched voice. “Tsustuji. Tsutsuji! My name is Tsutsuji! What’s your name?”

“Uchiha Sasuke.”

“Sasuke? Sacchan?”

Sasuke made a face. “No.”

Tsutsuji ignored him, hopping excitedly up and down on his hand. “Sacchan! Sacchan!”

Sasuke groaned and looked at me, silently begging for sympathy. I just giggled. Cutesy nicknames were just something that happened when you bonded with young birds it seemed. 

 

Sasuke and I wandered about the village. I just wanted to get out of the house and used the excuse that we needed to get Tsutsuji acquainted with the village. Sasuke had been…tense the past few days. That probably wasn’t the right word, but I couldn’t really describe it. Restless? Maybe even a little bit like he was on the verge of an existential crisis? I knew it had to have something to do with Naruto. It always did. But broaching that topic was not really something I wanted to or knew how to do.

“I want to check on Kakashi,” Sasuke said suddenly. His face was impassive. I gave a shrug of agreement and allowed him to lead the way towards Kakashi’s place. I wasn’t entirely sure under what context Sasuke had needed to know Kakashi’s place of residence, but I supposed it didn’t matter. 

The fact he just let him self in was a bit of a puzzle as well. How often did you just barge into your teacher’s apartment, kiddo? 

“Kakashi…” He stopped just inside the door, staring at his unconscious teacher. I peeked in over his shoulder, feeling very sheepish as Gai, Asuma, and Kurenai all turned to stare at us. 

“What’s going on?” Sasuke demanded. “Why is he unconscious? Why are you all here?”

I stood in the doorway, shifting nervously from one foot to the other. Someone ran into me from behind, knocking me for fully into the room. I whipped around to see a jonin who was familiar enough that I knew his face, but his name escaped me.

“Is it true? Everyone’s saying that Itachi is back! And that he’s chasing after Naruto!”

Sasuke turned slowly to the jonin in the doorway, his face a mask of pure rage. He pushed passed me and the jonin, and bolted out the door. I rushed after him, ignoring Gai’s shouts. 

I chased after Sasuke as he sprinted through the village, stopping only once when he reached Ichiraku. 

“Sasuke, what are you doing?!” I panted as he ducked under the banner.

He ignored me completely. “Old man! Naruto usually comes here for lunch. Do you know where he went after that?”

The owner looked thoughtful for a moment. “Ahh, Naruto. Let’s see. Yes, Jiraiya-san came and ate ramen with him. He said they were going to leave town a bit. Take the cattle road to Shukuba or something.”

“Jiraiya?” Sasuke asked, his expression suspicious.

“Yes, Jiraiya of the Sannin,” the owner said proudly. “He’s a giant, white haired man. You can’t miss him.”

Sasuke ran off without another word. I gave the owner a quick bow and a thank you before speeding off after him. Tsutsuji did her best to keep up with us, and for such a young bird she did pretty well. 

“Sasuke! Sasuke, slow the fuck down!” I shouted as we sprinted out of the village gate. “What do you even expect to do if you find Itachi?”

“I’m going to kill him,” Sasuke said evenly, his voice at total odds with the concern and anger that warred on his face. 

I wanted to argue with him, get him to calm down and think, but I didn’t know how. So instead, I followed him with furrowed brows and a frown. We sailed through the treetops towards the inn town. I sent Tsutsuji back to Konoha to warn Gai and the other jonin. Sasuke was so focused on the task at hand that he didn’t notice. 

Shukuba was nothing but inns and bars and brothels. I felt terribly uncomfortable. Sasuke didn’t pause for a moment, running from one inn to another, asking for a man with white hair and a blonde idiot. Jeez, and Iruka said Naruto never calmed down. Most people had no idea who he was talking about. This would get us nowhere. I reached out and grabbed Sasuke by the shoulder. I turned to the man he was about to ask about Jiraiya and Naruto.

“Have you seen two men in black cloaks with red clouds?”

Sasuke looked at me in confusion but the man at the desk immediately went pale and pointed us to an inn down the street. I thanked him for his time and pushed Sasuke in that direction. Sasuke looked at me suspiciously, but I had no time to address his unspoken questions. If Itachi and Kisame were here, that meant Naruto was in trouble. 

We entered the inn, ignoring the staff and quickly climbing the stairs. The further we went the heavier the feeling of dread lay in my chest. We turned, and there, in the middle of the hall, was Naruto, flanked by two men in black cloaks with red clouds.

The air around me went cold when Sasuke finally laid eyes on his brother. This was bad. This was so bad. I had worked so hard to save Sasuke and now everything could fall apart. 

“It’s been a while, Sasuke…” Itachi greeted, his tone cold, almost disdainful. I took one step forward, subtly putting myself between Sasuke and his brother. Itachi didn’t even turn around.

When Sasuke spoke, it carried with it a wave of anger and resentment and hatred so suffocating I felt like I was drowning. “Uchiha Itachi…I’m going to kill you.”

Sasuke’s Sharingan spun dangerously. I could see the panic in Naruto’s eyes even from where I was standing several feet away. This was a shitty situation. I didn’t even have Mai and Ryou with me for backup, otherwise I’d be tempted to pull a Forest of Death and spirit Naruto and Sasuke away. 

“Oh ho, the Sharingan,” Kisame laughed. “You seem familiar with Itachi. Who is this guy?”

“He is,” Itachi said slowly, “my younger brother.”

“Wrong!” I hissed. “He stopped being your brother the moment you decided killing your clan was the only option left to you!”

Kisame and Itachi slowly turned to face us. I could feel myself trembling. I shifted my feet a little farther apart, trying to center myself. I could feel the air around Sasuke thickening. I could smell the ozone. 

I tried to position myself so I was more in front of Sasuke but he stepped around me. I whispered his name in warning, hoping he could hear me through the flood of memories that were no doubt running through his mind.

“I’ve been waiting to say this to you,” Sasuke hissed, the air crackling around him. “I lived hating you. I have lived only to kill you. I’ve lived for this!”

The Chidori shrieked in my ear as Sasuke rushed at his brother, the lighting tearing up the wall. I blinked, and suddenly there was an explosion. The wall was knocked out and Itachi had a hold of Sasuke’s arm. Without a thought, he broke Sasuke’s arm with a sickening snapping sound. My blood ran cold. I shouted wordlessly, charging blindly at Itachi as Naruto tried desperately to call up the Kyuubi’s chakra only to have it eaten up by Kisame’s sword. Charging blindly, in hindsight, had been a terrible idea. Without looking up, Itachi lashed out with his leg, kicking me square in the chest. I tumbled backwards, rolling along the floor. For the second time in what was probably less than a week, my ribs were broken. 

“Nee-san!” 

I winced, feeling Itachi’s eyes stray from Sasuke’s form to mine. “Sasuke, I adore you and I’m so happy you called me that but now is not the time!”

It was probably by Jiraiya’s intervention alone that I was saved. He arrived suddenly, an unconscious woman over his shoulder (and the context for that wasn’t nearly as bad as first glance made it seem) and summoning a heavily armored toad. I hauled myself to my feet, the cracks in my ribs sending fire through my nerves. God, why did it hurt so much more this time? Was it because they hadn’t fully healed before I got hit? Fucking hell. 

“You won’t get Naruto,” Jiraiya said smoothly. “Because right here, right now, you two will die by my hand.”

“Don’t do it.” Sasuke struggled to get to his feet, his whole body shaking. “This guy is mine!”

I wanted to scream, but I doubt that’d be doing my ribs any favors. I leaned against the wall, struggling to breathe without it being torture. 

“I have no interest in you right now,” Itachi informed Sasuke, sparing him only a brief glance over his shoulder before kicking him the same way he kicked me. He flew right passed me, hitting the wall at the far end of the corridor.

Naruto tried to jump in, but once again, Sasuke stopped him.

“This fight is mine,” Sasuke hissed. 

Itachi walked right by me like I didn’t even exist. He stood before his brother…and punched him right in the stomach. Sasuke bent double and Itachi did it again. And again. He slammed Sasuke back into the wall. I could hear the wet cough as blood flew from Sasuke’s mouth. Sasuke slumped to the floor.

I’d had enough.

I turned, drawing a kunai from my weapons pouch and ran at Itachi as he was bending down to lift Sasuke up by his throat. I couldn’t help but feel a sense of sick satisfaction as my kunai cut through Itachi’s cloak, even if I only barely nicked his flesh. He jumped away from Sasuke and the boy fell to the floor once more. Or he would have, if I hadn’t caught him and held him close to my person.

“Don’t you touch him!” I shouted, doing my best to ignore the pain in my chest. “I have worked too hard to save him just to have you ruin him! If you truly feel that guilty about what happened that day, then take your own life instead of trying to manipulate Sasuke into doing it for you! I won’t let you taint him any more! He’s my precious baby brother! And you’ll have to kill me if you want to hurt him!”

I kept my eyes on Itachi’s chest, careful to avoid his eyes. I knew I’d never be able to read his face, so why even try? 

“What do you know of that night?” he asked. I couldn’t even get anything out of his voice. Just what kind of method actor was this guy?

I smirked, feigning confidence I had no right to. “More than you’d like, I assure you. You’re lucky I think it’s not my place to tell Sasuke. No, that’s your responsibility. And you will tell him one day. I’ll make sure of it, you motherfucker. But until that day, I will take every trace of hatred you smeared over his heart and replace it with love. I’m going to save him. I’ve already done it once. Don’t think I won’t do it again!”

Itachi took one step towards us. He probably would have taken more if Jiraiya hadn’t decided now was the time to turn the hallway into a toad’s digestive tract or whatever. Fucking gross. Itachi called for Kisame, who ripped his sword free of the fleshy substance that covered the floor and walls. They ran, trying to make it to the window at the end of the hall that ran perpendicular to ours. I looked away to check on Sasuke and the next thing I knew, the end of the hall was on fire. Black fire, to be exact. Naruto wandered towards it curiously. Jiraiya yanked him back by the collar of his jacket. 

I stopped paying attention. I turned my gaze to Sasuke. He was breathing alright, even if it wasn’t terribly steady. He probably had a busted rib just like I did. Blood dripped from his mouth and onto my shirt; kaa-san would be upset about that. He was pale and shaking, but at least he hadn’t been trapped in Itachi’s genjutsu. 

“DYNAMIC ENTRY!”

My head shot up just in time to see Gai-sensei kick Jiraiya in the face. Fucking good. Serves him right, the pervert. Tsutsuji fluttered in just behind him, landing on Gai’s shoulder.

“Kou-sama! Tsutsuji brought help!” She chirped, puffing her feathers up happily.

I gave a short, gasping laugh that ended in a hiss of pain. “Good job, Tsutsuji. You’re a tad bit late though.”

The tiny blackbird gasped and flew over to us, hopping anxiously from place to place as she stared up at Sasuke’s unconscious form. “Kou-sama, what’s wrong with Sacchan?”

Naruto snickered at the nickname, but a cool glare from me shut him right up. I turned back to Tsutsuji, my expression softening. “The bad men we were chasing after hurt him pretty bad, pretty birdie. But he’ll be okay once we get him some medical attention.”

“You’re lucky Itachi didn’t use the same genjutsu he used on Kakashi,” Gai pointed out.

I frowned, tears prickling my eyes as I pulled Sasuke close to me. “He almost did. If I hadn’t stepped in…”

There was a sadness in Gai’s eyes when I finally met his gaze. I’m sure this reminded him of the state Lee was currently in. This wasn’t the kind of battle young genin like us should be fighting. But the responsibility would only continue to fall on our shoulders from here on. I was sure he knew that.

He sighed heavily. “When our students get hurt like this…makes me think that we really should have medical specialists around, since this seems to be happening more frequently these days.”

Jiraiya looked unexpectedly serious. “Well, that’s why we’re searching for her after all.”

“Her?” Gai choked out. “You don’t mean…”

“Yeah, the last of the Sannin,” Jiraiya confirmed. “We’re chasing after Tsunade.”

 

I stood next to Gai at the gate of Shukuba. Sasuke rested on Gai’s back; he’d yet to wake up. That was probably for the best. I’d rather he be unconscious than be awake and feeling pain. Tsutsuji rested on my shoulder, her focus completely on Sasuke. She was already a great partner for him. 

Naruto stared up at Sasuke, concern evident on his face. I wanted to reach out and hug him, but that probably wouldn’t be good for my ribs. Gai tried to be positive about the whole thing, but even I could tell he didn’t have his usual energy.

“Jiraiya-sama, please find Tsunade-sama and bring her home to us,” he implored. 

“Don’tcha worry, we’ll find her!” Naruto insisted, his voice loud to hide his worry. “Take care of Sasuke and Kourubi-nee, Bushy Brows-sensei.”

I smiled fondly at Naruto, giving into my instinct to reach out to him and pull him into a tight hug. I pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head.

“Thanks, Sunshine.”

I felt his small hands reach up and clench into fists in my shirt. He buried his head in my chest, taking the chance to hide his face from everyone. I felt…so helpless. Like everything I did was barely enough. If I was honest with myself, I was too weak to protect them. And soon, Naruto would be gone. He’d slip right through my fingertips. How could I protect him when he was so far away? How could I protect Sasuke when I couldn’t even protect myself?

Naruto stepped away, and I already missed his comforting warmth. Jiraiya reached out to ruffle his hair.

“We’ll leave Sasuke and Kourubi in your care, Gai,” the Sannin said with finality. 

Gai nodded, bending forward to look Naruto in the eye. “Naruto, you’ve got guts! I like kids like that! Here, I’m giving this to you. This is the reason why Lee is so strong!”

Naruto bounced excitedly. It was good to see him smiling again. “Eh!? What? What?!”

Gai pulled an exact replica of his own green jumpsuit from…somewhere. “This! It’s the ultimate, streamlined, form fitting, easily accessible, perfectly made bodysuit!! Wear it while training and you’ll know the difference! You’ll never look back! Our Lee wears it twenty-four seven, and of course it’s my most-beloved piece of ninja gear!”

Naruto was surprisingly excited about the ugly thing. “Coooooollll!”

“No, baby brother, not cool,” I groaned. He took the dumb thing anyway. I guess I couldn’t expect much better from a kid who wore orange everywhere. 

“Well, I suppose we’ll take our leave now,” Gai announced. “Farewell, Jiraiya-sama, Naruto.”

“Stay safe, Sunshine.” I murmured, giving Naruto a small smile before turning and leaving with Gai.

 

The walk back to Konoha was long and unbearably silent. Sasuke was still unconscious when we returned and Gai rushed us both to the hospital. Ryou was there, probably doing some sort of training. When he saw me, his face turned red in rage.

“What happened?” he hissed, pulling me into an examination room as Gai passed Sasuke off to the more experienced medical ninja.

“Sasuke’s brother…he went after Naruto. Sasuke found out about and tried to chase him down. I had to go with him. I think the bastard broke my ribs.”

“You’re goddamn lucky we’re ninja and can fix your ribs with fucking magic, Karasuno Kourubi!” Ryou shouted at me. “What were you thinking taking on a S-rank missing nin?!”

The feeling of healing chakra was fucking weird. And cold. Really cold. 

“But Sasuke…”

“But Sasuke nothing! You could have both died!” Ryou argued, his voice only rising in volume as he continued his work. 

“But I didn’t,” I pointed out. “And I actually managed to get a hit in…kind of?”

“ I do not give even the slightest shit right now,” Ryou snapped. “You need to stop risking your life all the damn time. I’m going to go prematurely grey.”

“I’m a shinobi, risking my life is in the job description.” I sighed, tossing my head back to stare at the ceiling. “Besides, you’d just dye your hair something funky…like pink.”

“That doesn’t fucking matter! You should have brought at least someone with you! Like goddamn Kakashi!!!”

“Jiraiya was there…for all the help he was. And Kakashi already fought Itachi…he’s not doing great at the moment.”

Ryou continued to bite out little half sentences as he worked. Footsteps wandered close to the room and I half expected tou-san or kaa-san to burst in but someone else turned up instead. 

The door slid open noisily and a familiar voice spoke up. “Hey, Ryou, we still on for dinner or?”

I turned to see Shiranui Genma standing there. Ryou froze in place. My gaze moved back and forth between the two men, my expression becoming more poisonous as the seconds passed.

“Ryou?”

Ryou gulped loudly, a nervous smile plastered on his face. “Yes, Kourubi-sama?”

“The fuck?” I seethed.

“Well…you know…things happen on the battle field,” Ryou struggled to explain.

“Please tell me you didn’t start making out in the middle of the battle.”

“Nooooo,” Ryou insisted. “After.”

My eyes narrowed dangerously. “Before or after they found the Hokage dead?”

“Before?” Ryou didn’t sound terribly sure of that. 

I sighed heavily, which hurt considerably less thanks to Ryou’s magic healing hands. I turned to Genma, pointing dramatically at his dumbfounded face. “You hurt him and I’ll fucking kick your ass. I just took on two s-ranked missing nin today. I don’t give a fuck.”

Ryou groaned. “Goddamit Kourubi.”

 

I sat at Sasuke’s bedside. The heart monitor beeped steadily and the IV dripped slowly. He still hadn’t woken up. Had Itachi really done that much damage even without the Tsukuyomi genjutsu? Or…had he been able to perform the genjutsu before I stepped in? I had no way of knowing. At least he hadn’t been able to call Sasuke weak, or tell him he didn’t have enough hatred. I hoped that Sasuke had been able to hear what I said to Itachi. 

I leaned forward, resting my elbows on the stiff mattress of the hospital bed and lacing my fingers together. The door behind me slid open, but I kept my gaze on Sasuke’s pale face. A hand landed on my shoulder.

“Kourubi…” Noboru-sensei’s voice was comforting. 

I let out a shuddering breath, closing my eyes like that would hold back the tears that threatened to spill over. “Sensei…I’m scared.”

“Fighting people like Uchiha Itachi is a frightening thing,” Noboru acknowledged.

“That’s not why I’m scared,” I said. The hand on my shoulder squeezed a little tighter. “Sasuke…all he wants to do is kill Itachi, to get revenge for what happened to his family. And now he knows that he’s not strong enough to do that. Orochimaru…in the forest…he offered Sasuke the power to kill Itachi. I’ve tried so hard…to give Sasuke back the familial love he’s lost. But what if that’s not enough? What if he wants power more? I’m not strong enough to stop him and I’m not strong enough to protect him. I’m…”

My shoulders were shaking. I couldn’t see anything past my tears. I pressed my forehead against my joined hands in something akin to a prayer. How the hell had I gotten so attached to this kid? How did I go from just wanting to give Naruto a friend to trying to save Sasuke’s soul? 

“I just want him to be happy,” I sobbed. “And I know he won’t be if he leaves but I don’t know how to get him to stay!”

There was a tapping noise at the window. Noboru and I looked up to see Tsutsuji at the window. She hadn’t been allowed in the hospital for the same reason Gan had been forced to stay outside when I went to check on Mai all those weeks ago. Tsutsuji stared at Sasuke, and I’d gotten good enough at reading bird faces to know this whole situation was tearing her up inside. 

“That’s…” 

“That’s Tsutsuji…Sasuke’s bird,” I explained. 

Noboru-sensei stared at me in shock. “You gave him a bird?”

My gaze fell back to Sasuke and my fingers reached up to brush inky black hair out of his face. “He’s family.”

Noboru-sensei reached up to ruffle my hair gently. “If he wants to leave, then he’s a very stupid boy.”

 

Sakura sat beside me. She’d been coming to visit with me everyday since the first day. I’d stumbled into her after the nurse eventually kicked me out of Sasuke’s room. I had told her what happened and the next day she met me in front of the clan complex. She had walked with me to the Yamanaka’s flower shop. 

“If you’re going to be visiting Sasuke, you should take flowers,” she had told me, twirling a daffodil gently between her fingertips. 

Now her bright yellow daffodil shared a vase with the stem of pale pink azaleas I’d bought. We sat in silence, having long run out of things to talk about. Gai had told her a little bit about what was going on, but honestly it hadn’t been nearly enough.

“May I come in?”

We turned at the voice. Tsunade stood there, holding the curtain back. Wow, she really was gorgeous. 

“Who are you?” Sakura asked in a small voice.

Naruto ducked around Tsunade, his usual sunshiny grin on his face. “Sakura-chan, Kourubi-nee, Sasuke will be okay now! She’s a great doctor!”

I placed a hand on Sakura’s shoulder as we stood. I gave her a small smile. “Sakura, this is Tsunade-sama. I told you about her, remember.”

Sakura’s pretty green eyes went wide in awe. She stared dumbfounded at the Fifth Hokage. 

I turned to Tsunade. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him. I thought I’d rescued him before Itachi could use his genjutsu…but now I’m not so sure. Please, if you can…”

Tsunade gave me a confident grin. “Alright, leave it to me.”

She set a glowing hand on Sasuke’s forehead and as Sakura watched, tears trickled down her cheeks. Tsunade turned to her, a smile on her painted lips.

“Don’t worry, he’ll wake up soon.”

It was a slow process. Color came back to Sasuke face first. Then his eyelids fluttered minutely, like he was dreaming. His eyes opened, looking foggy with sleep. He sat up carefully, as if he wasn’t sure of his body.

Sakura dove towards him, wrapping her arms around him and crying freely. He looked at her, his face tired and confused. Naruto stood beside me, his brows furrowed. He smiled though, some new understanding in his eyes. 

Sasuke turned to look at me, his eyes still glassy. Sakura stepped away, giving me a chance to move closer. I ran a hand through Sasuke’s hair, scratching gently at his scalp. He looked so tired. Like even though he’d slept for a week he hadn’t gotten any rest. I pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

“Hey, little lion man,” I greeted. “Welcome back to the land of the living.”

“Nee-san?” His voice was rough and quiet. 

“Yeah, it’s me.” 

He reached out with a hesitant hand and wrapped his arm around me. I could feel the tears well up in the corner of my eyes again. I’d cried so much recently, and somehow I still had tears left to shed. 

I turned to Tsunade. “Can I…can I take him home?”

Tsunade gave me a hard look, like she was trying to break me down into tiny pieces for study. Then, as if coming to some sort of conclusion, her face softened and she nodded. I nodded gratefully and turned back to Sasuke.

“C’mon, baby brother,” I murmured. “Let’s go home.”

 

I noticed absentmindedly that I’d been doing a lot of sitting lately. In the hospital, and now at home, staring out into the garden next to Sasuke as Tsutsuji flittered about excitedly. The apples kaa-san had cut up and brought out for Sasuke were left untouched, slowly browning in the warm summer air. He hadn’t said anything on the way home. The only time he spoke was to greet kaa-san. His expression had remained pained, save for the small smile he spared for Tsutsuji when she first fluttered down to rest on his shoulder and rub her feathery head against his cheek. He had dark shadows under his eyes that made him look sickly, especially given his pale complexion. 

“A penny for your thoughts?” I asked. I had to see how different his mindset was from the original canon. 

Sasuke’s hands clenched and relaxed a few times and his face twisted into a scowl. “How am I still so weak?”

“Comparing yourself to Itachi won’t get you anywhere,” I told him bluntly. “He’s much older than you, he’s had more time to get stronger. The only person you should compare yourself with is yourself, and you’ve gotten much stronger.”

“But not strong enough!” 

I steeled myself, squaring my shoulders and praying my eyes burned the same way Naruto’s did when he was in a situation like this. “So… what? Orochimaru promised you the power to defeat Itachi. Are you going to leave the village and join him?”

Sasuke stiffened, he turned his head just enough so he could see me out of the corner of his eye. He flinched under my gaze. 

“You have a choice in front of you, Sasuke. I can’t promise you the same kind of power Orochimaru can. I can train you in the Karasuno style of taijutsu. I can attempt to teach you the things I know. And perhaps I can convince kaa-san to teach us the Karasuno kenjutsu. You can stay here and continue to learn and be nurtured by your family and Kakashi-sensei. Or, you can leave to follow after Orochimaru. You can leave us behind and break kaa-san’s heart. And if you do…I will come to hate you.”

Sasuke’s neck cracked as he turned suddenly to face me fully. There was a panic in his eyes. A desperate fear. I could feel my heart breaking at the sight, but I had to keep going. There was still more I had to say.

“You can leave, if you want. But know if you do, Naruto will chase after you. He will chase you to the ends of the earth… and in the end he will be the only one still able to say he loves you. I know the type of man you will become if you leave. You will be cold and hateful. Vengeance will consume you until there is nothing left of your heart. And I cannot call a man like that my baby brother.

“I’ve done all I can to save you. I can’t offer you anything that I have not already given you. You have friends here. You have a family here. But, the choice is yours. I can’t make it for you, no matter how much I wish I could.”

The fear in Sasuke’s eyes changed, twisting into something angry and savage. When he spoke, his voice was biting. “You’re just like them. All you do is preach. You don’t know anything! You’ve never felt loss like mine! None of you have! How would you feel if I killed everyone precious to you?!”

The steely confidence I had faded from my eyes, I could tell by the way Sasuke’s expression wavered for a brief moment.

“So…you’d kill yourself?”

Sasuke’s brow furrowed in confusion. The garden was suddenly painfully silent. 

“You asked me how I would feel if you killed everyone precious to me,” I reiterated. “That would mean you would have to kill yourself. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this before it sinks in. You’re my precious baby brother, Sasuke, blood relations be damned. But you’re being terribly selfish if you think none of the people who care about you know loss. Iruka lost his mother and father to the Kyuubi. Kakashi lost not only his whole family, but everyone who’s ever been precious to him. And I…”

I stopped. Could I honestly tell Sasuke about my family from before? Could I be open with him? Would…would it help him?

“You? What loss have you felt? You still have your family!”

I inhaled deeply in an attempt to steady myself. “I doubt you’ll believe me, but I might as well tell someone.” I wrapped an arm around his shoulder and guided him gently to lay his head in my lap. He stared up at me incredulously as I ran my fingers through his hair. The motion calmed me somewhat. I took another deep breath and began to explain. “I have…the memories of another lifetime. A lifetime that was cut terribly short. I had a family: a mother, a father, and a little brother just about your age. I don’t know if I died or if whatever gods exist just decided to play a trick on me, but one day I woke up here with no memory of my name from before. But I knew I wasn’t Kourubi…not completely at least. But, her memories –Kourubi’s memories- are slowly starting to replace mine. I can’t…remember my mother’s voice anymore, or my baby brother’s name, or the titles of the books my father used to read to me. I can only barely remember their faces. Some day…I’ll forget them entirely. I’ll know they existed…but everything else will be gone. And I’ll have lost them for a second time.”

Tears poured down my cheeks. My voice wavered at the end there, but I managed to say everything I needed to. I blinked when a hand came up to touch my tear stained cheek. I looked down at Sasuke. The rage he’d felt had left his eyes. I could see where my tears had fallen onto his face. 

“Nee-san…”

I tried to smile, but it was impossible. I reached up to take his hand in mine. “Please, Sasuke. I’ve already lost one family. Don’t make me lose another.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: Somehow I completely forgot to mention this, but Tsutsuji is the Japanese word for azalea, which, in the language of flowers, means 'take care of yourself'.


	10. In Which I Have a Plot Significant Wardrobe Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back again with another chapter! Lot's of action in this one, which was hard to write because action scenes are Not my strong suit. Let me know what ya'll think in the comments below~

I awoke to Tsutsuji’s panicked cawing the next morning. I shot out of bed and threw my door open, Tsutsuji slamming into me in her alarm. 

“Kou-sama! Sacchan’s gone! He’s gone and he didn’t take Tsutsuji with him!” the tiny bird cried. 

I felt my blood run cold. I threw on the first set of clothes I found and rushed down the stairs, jumping down the last four. Kaa-san rushed out into the hall at the sound, still in her nightgown.

“Kourubi-chan, what’s wrong?”

“Sasuke’s gone!” I shouted over my shoulder. “I have to find him!”

I ran through the village, which was eerily empty so early in the morning. Tsutsuji flew high in the sky along side Mori and Gan. I checked the training grounds. I checked the paths where he always took walks. I even checked what was left of the Uchiha district. Nothing. I couldn’t find him anywhere. I bent forward, panting as panic gripped my heart. Why? Why did he leave? Was it really not enough for him? Did he really care so much about power?

Tsutsuji landed on my shoulder. No. Sasuke wouldn’t have left Tsutsuji behind, even if he was leaving the village. Tsutsuji was totally loyal to Sasuke; she wouldn’t have cared where he took her as long as she was allowed to come along. There was only one explanation.

The Sound Four had carried him off in the middle of the night.

I turned on my heel, catching my second wind, and sprinted for the Hokage’s office. 

I slammed open the door, startling Tsunade from her sleep. 

“Ah, Kourubi, how can I help you?” Tsunade asked, trying to appear professional.

“Hokage-sama, Sasuke has been kidnapped!”

Tsunade’s eyes narrowed. “I am well aware that Uchiha has been targeted by Orochimaru. What makes you think he was kidnapped and didn’t just leave on his own?”

I drew myself up, ready to defend my baby brother. “Because he wouldn’t have left Tsutsuji behind if he’d gone of his own free will.”

Tsunade’s eyes darted to the red winged black bird on my shoulder. “I’m afraid that isn’t enough to prove anything.”

I inhaled sharply, my shoulders rising as my body tensed up. I…I didn’t have any other proof. My word meant nothing to Tsunade and the Uchiha had been at odds with the rest of Konoha for a long time. She had every right to be distrustful of Sasuke, especially when Orochimaru wanted him. 

“Hokage-sama!” Kotetsu and Izumo entered the room from the still open door, carrying large stacks of documents and closely followed by Hayate. They stopped short upon seeing me. 

“You…you’re from the first exams!” I shouted, pointing at Izumo and Kotetsu. “You’re those punks that disguised yourself as kids and punched Lee!”

“And you’re the girl who used some weird auditory genjutsu that no one could dispel during the third exams!” Kotetsu shot back accusatorily. 

“That’s because it’s not actually a genjutsu!” I informed him testily.

“Enough!” Tsunade roared, standing from her chair and slamming her hands down on her desk. “I would thank you not to have pointless arguments in my office. Now, Hayate, why are you here?”

Hayate stepped around Kotetsu and Izumo to stand beside me. He glanced my way with the briefest flash of a smile before giving Tsunade a small bow. “Hokage-sama. I’m afraid I have to corroborate Karasuno-san’s report. Last night, around midnight, I was on patrol when I caught sight of a group of four unknown ninjas leaving Konoha with a young man fitting Uchiha Sasuke’s description in their custody. Given the manner in which he was tied up and unconscious, I can only assume this was a kidnaping.” 

“Why am I just now hearing about this?!” Tsunade snapped.

Hayate bowed again, hiding his ashamed expression. “I’m afraid that I was noticed by the enemy ninja at the same time I noticed them. One of them performed an auditory genjutsu and incapacitated me. I wasn’t discovered until a few moments ago, after which I came directly here.” 

Tsunade sat back down in her chair heavily. A pensive look passed over her face. She must have come to some sort of decision because she looked up at Kotetsu and Izumo.

“Izumo, Kotetsu, I need you to fetch me Nara Shikamaru,” she ordered. The two scurried to obey. She turned back to me and Hayate. “Hayate, you are dismissed. Go to the hospital and get yourself check out. Kourubi, you stay here.” She waited until Hayate left, closing the door behind him, before she continued. “It’s actually rather fortuitous that you’re here.”

She stood, moving to a small side door and opening it. She ducked into what looked like a storage room. I could hear her rustling about in there, looking for something. She returned a moment later, carrying with her a…flak vest.

“Hokage-sama?”

She moved to stand before me, holding the vest out in front of her. “I would like to officially offer you, Karasuno Kourubi, a promotion to the level of chunin.”

My body was numb. I hadn’t been expecting this. Shikamaru was the only one who was supposed to get promoted. I hadn’t shown any of that intellect and strategic thinking that got him promoted. I reached out to take the vest with shaking hands. It was heavy. 

“I don’t understand…”

Tsunade huffed, an almost smile on her face. “You can thank your friend Ryou. After I’d heard how he’d used medical ninjutsu to win his match, I decided he needed to be promoted so he could continue his medical training. He wouldn’t take the promotion, however, unless I promised to offer one to you as well. Besides, I’d been getting a lot of pressure from those who think they know best when it came to your promotion. Including a few bribes.”

I stiffened. “My parents bribed you to promote me?!”

“No, no,” Tsunade dismissed with a wave of her hand as she moved to sit back down in her chair. “The Nekozawa family has been campaigning to keep you and Ryou as genin. But let me tell you, those damn busybodies have been on my shit list since I was a kid. I can’t count how many times they tried to convince my father to let them arrange my marriage for me. Anything that pisses them off can only be a good thing if you ask me.”

I rubbed my thumb along the material of the vest. This promotion had nothing to do with my skill as a ninja. It had everything to do with the people around me. I hadn’t done anything to deserve this promotion. 

“There’s also something to be said,” Tsunade said softly, “about a ninja who embraces others without hesitation. The Nara brat may be the brain, but a body is nothing without the heart.”

I swallowed thickly. 

Tsunade leaned back, an amused smile on her lips. “Love, save the empty, huh?”

That’s right. That’s what I said my ninja way was. But how did Tsunade know it? I shook my head wildly, feeling my feathers brush my cheeks. It didn’t matter. Sasuke need me. He needed me to act. He needed me to save him from Orochimaru one more time. 

“Those who have never known love,” I recited, my voice and conviction growing stronger with each word, “And those who’ve had love stolen from them…I’m going to save those people! Hokage-sama, I accept!”

Tsunade nodded approvingly. “Go home, inform your mother and father of the situation. Then, wait for Shikamaru to come get you. You’ll have to move fast once he’s aware of the situation.”

I nodded, my hands tightening around the vest in my arms.

“Dismissed.”

I turned and bolted for the door, Tsutsuji’s wings beating in my ear as she flew beside me. We hurried through the halls, down too many flights of stairs to count. I was only barely paying attention to where I was going. I cried out in alarm when I ran into something warm and solid coming out of a door.

“Ah! Kourubi-chan!”

I looked up to see Iruka and Kakashi. Kakashi’s head poked out of the door Iruka had just stepped through, looking vaguely confused. Iruka’s face was red with embarrassment as he hurriedly extended a hand to help me up. I took it, noticing how warm he was. I could feel his eyes looking me up and down as he tried to make sure I wasn’t hurt. His hand gripped mine tighter when his eyes landed on the flak vest. 

“You…were promoted.”

It was Kakashi that said it, stepping fully out into the hallway. I glanced down at the vest and frowned heavily. 

“Yeah…but…” I looked up at them, forcing a smile despite my worry. “I’m going to have to postpone that date.”

Iruka’s hand slid from mine to tighten into a fist at his side. “What happened?”

My heart pounded in my chest and I tightened my hold on my vest. “Sasuke’s been kidnapped. Orochimaru sent some of his men after him. It…it was my fault! I insisted on him sleeping in his own room last night! If I’d just let him stay with me…I could have stopped them! But now he’s gone and we have to go after him! And…and tou-san and kaa-san still don’t know…”

I reached up to scrub a hand over my cheeks. I inhaled deeply in an attempt to rein my emotions back under control. I sniffled pathetically. 

“Walk me home?” I asked, echoing the words I’d said to them the last time I’d seen them both. “I…I don’t want to be alone right now.”

I wouldn’t have been alone even if they’d said no. Tsutsuji was with me after all…but still. They said nothing, Kakashi’s hand coming up to pet soothingly at my hair. He pushed me forward a little, enough so I continued to move on my own. They walked with me; so close that their arms never really stopped touching mine. 

We walked quickly, lucky that the village was still relatively empty at this point in the morning. They followed me through the gate this time. Kaa-san and tou-san rushed to meet us as Iruka slid open the door. They stopped short, seeing the vest I clutched close to my chest. 

My mother gasped, her hands flying to her open mouth. “Kourubi-chan…”

“Sasuke’s been kidnapped,” I explained plainly, hoping they ignored the shaking in my voice. “Shikamaru is assembling a team to go after him. I have until he arrives to get ready.”

I looked down at the vest. I gave a small huff of something akin to amusement and handed it over to my mother. “It really is a shame I can’t wear this…it’d ruin the feathers.” 

Kaa-san gasped again, taking the vest with trembling hands. She smiled at me through watery eyes and turned to duck back into the house. She returned mere moments later, the wine colored tunic from before clutched tightly in her hands. I gently took it from her, hoping my smile was reassuring enough. 

I glanced over my shoulder at Kakashi and Iruka. “I’ll be right back.” 

I climbed the stairs, going much slower this time then I had earlier this morning. I passed Sasuke’s room, peering in through the open door. The bed was left unmade and the dark curtains fluttered in the breeze coming from the open window. They hadn’t even tried to cover their tracks. It was like they were mocking me. 

I drew myself up and entered my room, closing the door behind me. Mori and Gan sat on my bed. Tsutsuji fluttered down to sit with them. They looked at me expectantly. 

With shaking hands, I tugged my old shirt off and tossed it away. The tunic had a zipper running down the middle of it. I tugged it down and slipped it on. The fabric was soft and slick against my skin. I pulled the zipper back up and turned to look at myself in the mirror. The color made my eyes appear darker, redder. Bare legs peeked out from between the high slits in the fabric. I felt a little scandalous and maybe even kinda sexy. My eyes stopped at the dark feathers around my shoulder. I inhaled deeply. This was it. I’d accepted the position of clan head now. And my first duty was to rescue my clansman from Orochimaru. 

I left my room, passing by Sasuke’s one last time. I paused, the headband on the bedside table catching my eye. I stepped into the room, reaching to pick it up. I ran my fingers over the leaf engraving. My grip on it tightened and turned to make my way back down the stairs. 

Four sets of eyes turned to stare at me. Tou-san smiled proudly at me and kaa-san looked on the verge of tears. Iruka’s face was flushed and his jaw looked like it was going to hit the floor. I quickly averted my gaze, feeling those damn butterflies in my stomach again. Kakashi’s expression was unreadable, but he would not take his eyes off me. His gaze slid over my body like a caress. It was too much and I had to inhale deeply to keep myself from doing something crazy…like kiss him. 

There was a frantic knock on the door. I squeezed passed Iruka and Kakashi to throw it open. Shikamaru and Naruto stood before me, panting heavily. 

“Nee-chan, did you know…?” 

“Yeah, Sunshine, I know,” I said, keeping my voice calm and soothing. I held up Sasuke’s headband. “He’ll be wanting this back when we find those bastards, won’t he?” 

Naruto’s eyes blazed, his conviction burning brighter than even mine. He nodded solemnly. I turned to look over my shoulder at my parents and Iruka and Kakashi. I slid Sasuke’s headband into my weapons pouch.

“Don’t worry, we’ll bring him home soon.” 

 

I stood before Konoha’s open gates. Beside me, Shikamaru, Naruto, Kiba, Chouji, and Neji stood ready. It felt strange, being the only girl on a team. Even stranger was the fact I was so much older and taller than the boys. I was so used to looking up at Mai and Ryou, even if they weren’t that much taller than me. Now I was the one being looked up to, literally and figuratively. I glanced over my shoulder at Lee, who looked on with a mix of wonder and sadness in his eyes. If only he’d had his surgery sooner…or if the Sound Four had waited even a few more days he could have gone with us. 

“Alright!” Naruto shouted. “Everybody follow me!”

No one moved. Tsutsuji, Mori, and Gan cawed loudly with laughter from their spots atop the gate.

“Hey…listen, Naruto,” Shikamaru sighed. “You know I’m the squad leader, right?”

Naruto turned to squint at Shikamaru over his shoulder. “You sure you can handle it? You’re not that trustworthy. Why isn’t Kourubi-nee the squad leader?”

“I’m not about to follow Naruto,” Kiba muttered, lifting Akamaru up to tuck the pup into his coat. “But he’s got a point. Listening to Shikamaru’s orders doesn’t sit right with us.” 

“Well, Shikamaru’s already a chunin!” Chouji argued for his friend. “We gotta listen to what he says! The village high council acknowledged that he qualifies as a leader after all.”

“Nee-chan is a chunin too!” Naruto shouted, pointing dramatically my way. God, kill me now.

“I’m only a chunin because Tsunade-hime wanted to piss off the Nekozawa clan.” I muttered, avoiding everyone’s curious eyes. “Besides, Tsunade specifically made Shikamaru the leader. And for good reason. I trust him, and you guys should too.”

Neji huffed and turned his piercing gaze to our leader. “Tell us the basic strategies and plans then. According to what we’ve heard, there seems to be enemies and possible ambushes.”

Shikamaru looked very uncomfortable. “Well, since this is a rescue mission, we’re the pursuers. Which means it’s easy for our enemies to get their first strike on us. So, we’ll decide on a squad formation that is most suitable to reacting to a sudden strike. If anyone moves on their own and ignores my orders…it might end up killing us all.”

Akamaru whined softly at that. 

Shikamaru’s expression became more confident as he went on. “We’ll proceed in a single line formation. First things first: Kiba will be in the most crucial position of forward scout. You’re always traveling all year throughout the Land of Fire, and you know our terrain very well. You’ve also got a keen sense of smell, so it’ll make it easier to track Sasuke. This also means that it’s easier to detect booby traps from the enemies’ scent.

“Second will be me, the squad leader,” Shikamaru continued, speaking to each of us in turn. “I can give orders according to the situation behind Kiba, and anyone behind me can see my hand signals. Third is Naruto. You’ve got quick reactions, so it’s best to keep you in a position where you can assist bot front and back. You’ll be the cover and assistance, especially since you’ve got your Shadow Clones. Kourubi will be fourth. Since you’ll be in the middle, you’ll be safe enough to focus on a wider area using your Bird’s Eye View jutsu. But only do it on my signal. I know your chakra reserves are pretty massive but that doesn’t stop you from falling out of trees if you miss the branch. Fifth is Chouji. You don’t have the speed but you’ve got the most hitting power in our squad. Me, Kiba, and Naruto will create openings and you’ll charge in to finish the game. Basically, you’re our striker. Lastly, I’ll place Neji on the squad’s tail. I’ll let you handle the most difficult task of rear scout. With your Byakugan you can always check for the squad’s blind spots.”

He bent forward, pulling out a pencil and blank scroll. I placed my hands on his back, leaning over him to get a better look. He didn’t seem particularly pleased by this, but he didn’t put in the effort to get me to stop either. He quickly sketched a rough diagram of the squad and their assigned fields of view. The little chibi figures he drew of the team were actually really cute.

“Take a look at the field of vision you should focus on,” Shikamaru instructed. “Kiba will concentrate on the forward position, and I’ll spread my sight at a wider angle. Naruto will cover the left, Chouji the right. Kourubi will be using her jutsu to scan a farther distance. Specifically, she’ll be paying attention to the distance between the enemies and us. Neji, I’ll have you take care of the entire rear section with your Byakugan. Oh, and I’d like to check our total squad strength. Everyone, let me see your gear. It’ll only take three minutes. Questions?” 

I stepped back from Shikamaru, allowing him to stand properly. There were no questions. I had to hand it to Shikamaru; his explanations were far more straightforward than I’d expected of him. He’d be a good teacher some day. 

“Well, if you’ve got nothing to say, I guess I’ll finish up with the most important thing.” Shikamaru’s grim tone drew our attention back to him. “Sasuke’s not a very close friend of mine…nor is he someone important. However, he’s a fellow shinobi from Konohagakure, just like me and you. He’s our comrade! This is why we’ll risk our lives for him. This is the way of the Leaf. Even someone like me…can’t goof off when it comes to something like this. I’m responsible for all of our lives.” 

Despite the seriousness of the situation, I felt the tension melt from my shoulders. I was starting to remember why I liked Shikamaru so much Before. He was lazy, and dodged responsibility whenever he could, but he had a good head on his shoulders and more heart then he’d care to admit. 

Kiba gave a short bark of laughter. “Now you’re starting to sound like you deserve that chunin title!”

The equipment check went quickly. Shikamaru said nothing about Sasuke’s headband lying atop my equipment. We turned to leave when I heard Sakura’s panicked voice call out for us to wait. 

“Is it true!?” she gasped out. “Did Sasuke really leave the village?”

“Not by choice,” I assured her. “But it wouldn’t matter how he left the village. I’m getting my baby brother –your teammate- back.”

Tears spilled from the corners of her eyes. “Please! Naruto! Kourub-senpai! Bring Sasuke back!”

“Don’t worry! I’ll bring him back safe and sound!” Naruto insisted, giving Sakura the biggest, brightest smile he could manage and thumbs up. “Promise of a lifetime.”

Shikamaru didn’t look so sure. “Well, we’ve wasted enough time. Let’s hurry.”

 

We sprinted through the trees, the leaves blurring by us. Shikamaru had ordered me to hold off using my jutsu unless Kiba lost the scent, which was unlikely. I could feel Mori and Gan’s chakra tugging at mine. I had no such bond with Tsutsuji, but I could see her with them every time there was a gap in the treetops. 

There was a whine from Akamaru up ahead. My eyes darted from the sky to the backs of the boys in front of me.

“What’s going on?” Shikamaru asked.

Kiba scowled. “I smell blood…and it’s close. Wait…no. I can smell five ninjas, including Sasuke. They were fighting two others. But the five of them are getting further from the smell of blood. What’s our plan?”

“The ones that were fighting must be the ones that took him,” I hissed. “Hayate-san mentioned seeing four ninja carrying Sasuke away.”

“Well, let’s hurry and chase after them!” Naruto shouted, frustration in his voice.

“Dammit, Naruto, shut your trap!” Kiba shouted over his shoulder. “It’s up to Shikamaru to decide! Don’t boss us around!”

“If you can smell blood then that can only mean there was some kind of conflict,” Shikamaru thought aloud. “If we go there, I bet we can gather some sort of information, but we’d have to approach carefully. We’d have to switch to scouting positions and proceed with caution.”

“If we do that, there’s the risk of our enemies crossing the border of the Land of Fire,” Neji warned. 

“So what do we do?” Naruto demanded.

Shikamaru was quiet for a moment before making his decision. “Alright, we go after Sasuke. However, if there was a fight that only means the enemy will be on edge and more alert. They’re probably prepared for Hunter ninja. That means we’ll likely be facing a lot of traps and ambushes.

“Alright, from now on, use your noses and eyes to their full potential. We have to find them before they can ambush us. If you detect suspicious movement, don’t just avoid it! Analyze it! Kourubi! Use your jutsu now. We have to know how close they are to the border. Think your birds can see that far?”

“They’re crows, not hawks, but I’ll see what I can do,” I informed him. My hands ran through the hand signs as my eyes slipped closed. Rat-dragon-snake-horse-bird. I opened my eyes, an expanse of trees spreading out before my eyes. It was hard to track movement from below the leaves, but it was safe to say both our team and Orochimaru’s men were still far from the border.

I blinked away the jutsu. “We’ve still got a ways to go before we hit any border. I can’t see anything except trees for the next several kilometers.” 

“Good. We just need to reach them before they reach the border,” Shikamaru sighed.

“Oi! This whole place stinks of the enemy!” Kiba shouted.

“Dammit! Everyone STOP!” 

My knees protested as we came to an abrupt halt along a thick branch. I felt a tug of concern against my chakra. Mori, Gan, and Tsutsuji circled above us. I sent a wave of reassurance their way. 

“Look, up there,” Shikamaru muttered. Our gazes moved simultaneously to an explosive tag stuck to a tree trunk.

“An explosive seal,” Neji hummed, his pale eyes moving quickly about the area. “I see five more. It’s a barrier seal.”

“Barrier seal?” Chouji echoed. 

“It’s a form of ninjutsu trap,” Shikamaru explained. “They’re triggered when the enemy enters an area encircled by the trap seals. I read about it my dad’s books. It’s a high class ninjutsu.”

“We’ll have to go around it,” Kiba growled. 

Our progress was slowed considerably by the sheer amount of traps the Sound ninja had set. We ended up walking along the ground. If it wasn’t for the traps, I’d be free to active my Bird’s Eye View jutsu whenever I pleased to try and find our enemies while Kiba’s nose was focused on the traps. 

“At least the enemy doesn’t seem to have much time either,” Shikamaru muttered bitterly. “I see a lot of rushed work.” 

“Hey, Naruto, watch out!” Kiba warned. “There’s a wire right under your next step. You hear me? You better not trigger it!”

“I know, I know,” Naruto grumbled, moving to step over the fairly obvious wire.

“Naruto! Wait!” Shikamaru’s panicked shout reached my ears and my hand shot out to grab the back of Naruto’s jacket to tug him back against me. I gripped his shoulders tightly, shaken by Shikamaru’s sudden panic. 

Neji edged forward, kneeling on the ground just before the visible wire. “I see…one of the wires was intentionally made visible, but the other wire is camouflaged in green. It’s difficult to detect with the naked eye…but it’s definitely a double trap.”

“Pretty well made for a rushed job,” Shikamaru mused. “That means…”

“They’re resting,” Neji confirmed. “Either they are wounded…or they’re waiting for us.”

Shikamaru nodded at Neji and I. We activated our doujutsu. Mori dove down to fly close along the treetops. There, in a small clearing up ahead.

“I see them. Maybe half a kilometer away,” I informed the squad. “They have Sasuke with them. He’s not conscious.”

“I see them as well,” Neji confirmed. “They have Sasuke in the middle of a circle formation. His hands are bound with chakra sealing tags.” 

“Alright, we’ll split into two squad and attempt to flank them,” Shikamaru instructed. “Kourubi, Neji and I will go to the left while Kiba, Naruto, and Chouji will go to the right. Kiba will use the smoke bomb to create a distraction on my signal. Then we grab Sasuke and run.” 

I frowned. “This has got to be a trap.”

Shikamaru smirked bitterly. “I know."

 

It was a trap! It was so totally a trap! Mere moments after Shikamaru, Neji, and I got into position, that two headed jerk threw a kunai with way more explosive tags than necessary our way. Nothing broke, miraculously enough, but I’d have some nasty bruises. Kiba’s smoke bomb was able to get Shikamaru the cover he needed to trap the four shinobi with his Shadow Possession jutsu, but the technique doesn’t work on people who don’t cast shadows. The dormant twin somehow slipped away and the next thing I knew Shikamaru had shuriken embedded in his arms. How the hell had the twins even survive being shoved into the same body? The six arms I could sort of understand. And I had no idea what kind of shit Orochimaru did to the big guy and the girl. 

Shikamaru’s jutsu failed and the big guy trapped us in a dome of stone. I growled in frustration. There was no way those assholes were going to stick around. Kiba attempted to drill through the stone with his Fang Over Whatever technique but he barely made a dent. And that dent quickly shrank into nothing. The hell?

“This isn’t an ordinary wall,” Neji hissed. He activated his Byakugan. He gasped. 

“What happened?” Shikamaru demanded.

Neji stared at his shaking hand. “Our chakra is being sucked dry.”

My knees buckled, as if the fact he said it made the whole situation very real. I stumbled a bit, falling back against the stone wall. I couldn’t feel Mori and Gan’s chakra anymore. Kiba tried combining with Akamaru to bust a whole in the wall, but just like the first time it failed. No! This can’t be how this ends! 

“Hey! Listen!” I twitched at Shikamaru’s sudden shouting. “I want to talk to your leader! We won’t follow Sasuke anymore! Please, let us out!”

“Shikamaru…what are you saying?!” Naruto demanded, his voice even louder than Shikamaru’s. 

“An internal dispute?” I shuddered at the enemy’s voice. It was like his voice was all around us in our tiny cell. “Hah, interesting…but you’re my meal. I can’t let you out.”

Shikamaru’s voice was quieter when he spoke next, but his words hit harder than I expected. “Then only one is fine. Just let me out…I’m tired of this.”

“You’re kidding…” I whispered. My blood ran cold. There was no way…there was no way Shikamaru would abandon us, right? It had to be a lie. 

Naruto and Kiba started shouting at Shikamaru, their anger exploding. I kept my gaze on Shikamaru as he turned from the rock. 

“Everyone, shut up!” I winced at Chouji’s harsh tone. 

Shikamaru knelt down on one knee, his eyes shut tight and his fingers pressed together in a circle. Oh! So the smarty-pants was thinking something up, was he? Whatever it was, it better be good. The boys continued to argue amongst themselves. Shikamaru’s eyes opened suddenly, a confident smirk on his face. 

“Finished thinking, Smarty-pants?” I asked. His gaze shifted my way lazily, his smirk only growing wider. 

His gaze snapped to Neji. “Neji, I’m sorry for the trouble, but please examine the wall behind you and Chouji with your remaining chakra.”

Naruto shouted at Shikamaru to shut his mouth. I reached out and tightly gripped his shoulder. He turned to me with furious eyes. I shook my head and pressed a finger to my lips. 

“Naruto, don’t you get it?!” Chouji snapped. “Remember what Shikamaru said when we took off!”

The fury left Naruto’s eyes, understanding replacing it. He looked to me once more and then to Shikamaru. 

Neji continued to scan the wall, ignoring all of us. His eyes narrowed at something. “Hmph, I see it. Over there.”

“Neji, aim your kunai at that point,” Shikamaru ordered. “Chouji, are you ready?”

Chouji expanded, his body ballooning out around the middle. It was…a strange sight. 

“What’s going on?” Naruto asked.

Neji drew a kunai from his weapons holster. “Like I said before, the wall around us is shielded with chakra. However, Shikamaru hypothesized that there may be points where the chakra on the wall is low in concentration. When Kiba and Akamaru attacked the walls, he observed that certain spots had regenerated slower than others. That means that the spots with slower regeneration rates have lower chakra concentration. In addition to that, Shikamaru communicated with the enemy to confirm his position, since the position furthest away from our enemy is where the wall would most likely have the thinnest concentration of the enemy’s chakra.”

“And that, Sunshine,” I said quietly, “Is why Shikamaru is the squad leader.”

Chouji tucked into his expanded torso and rolled rapidly towards the spot marked by Neji’s kunai. The wall crumbled at the impact, creating the perfect opening for us. I could feel Mori and Gan’s chakra once more.

Shikamaru grinned at his friend. “Chouji, you’re the best.”

The big guy smirked. “So you got our of my blockade…well done.”

Naruto and Kiba made to lunge forward and knock the guy’s teeth in, but Neji’s sudden shout stopped them. 

“It’s too dangerous to fight here,” Neji explained. “There may be six of us, but he’s not an opponent we can defeat quickly with our chakra depleted. If we waste too much time here, the others will cross the territorial border with Sasuke. If that happens, we cannot pursue them any further.”

There was a rumbling as our enemy slammed his hands against the ground, pulling up a giant boulder of mud and rock. I grabbed Kiba and Neji, the two boys closest to me, and jumped back as far as I could go with depleted chakra. Once again, Chouji saved our asses with his Human Boulder technique. The mud and rock crumbled under his assault, but the enemy sent him flying back like a bouncy ball. Shikamaru barely caught him. 

“You motherfucker!” I spat, reaching for a kunai. Naruto, Kiba, and Neji all prepared themselves to attack as well. 

“Everyone wait!”

We turned behind us to Shikamaru. 

“We need to split up from here,” Shikamaru said. “We have no time! At this rate, we won’t be able to catch us with Sasuke. Kourubi, you’ll act as a co-leader. Take Neji, Kiba, and Chouji with you to chase after the others. I’ll take care of this guy with Naruto!”

Our enemy smirked. “Are you planning on using the Shadow Possession again? Such a useless move…just once glance and I know how to deal with it. You were the squad leader huh? You really think you can defeat me when you split up? Must be tedious to work under such a foolish leader, huh, underling?” The insult was sent at Chouji, who twitched minutely. Our enemy shrugged. “Well, I’d kill any trash who’d work under such a shadow loving sucker.”

Chouji slowly stood, staring down the big guy in front of us. “He’s mine! I’ll take care of him!” He reached into his weapons pouch, pulling out a small drawstring bag. “Shikamaru, give these soldier’s pills to everyone else.”

Shikamaru’s jaw dropped. “Chouji…you’ve got to be kidding me!!”

Chouji smiled painfully. “You think so? I’ve still got a secret weapon for myself.”

“But…that’s…”

“Shikamaru, take everyone else and go!!” Chouji insisted. “What did we come here to do? If we lose track of Sasuke now…we’ll only become what this guy called us…just a foolish leader and a bunch of trash.”

My hands clenched at my sides. This…this is where things would fall apart.

Shikamaru frowned, his expression pained, but he took the small pouch of soldier pills anyway. “Everyone, eat this…as a gift from Chouji.”

The pill was bitter…just like this whole situation. 

“Chouji, you better catch up to us later,” Shikamaru demanded.

Chouji didn’t take his eyes off his opponent. “Alright.”

The rest of us took off without looking back. 

 

We moved quickly through the forest. I’d taken Chouji’s position in the line, Shikamaru adamantly refusing to let me take my eyes off the immediate area even for a moment. I was faster than Chouji was, but I still could fill his position as heavy hitter, considering my knowledge of higher-level jutsu. 

“We’re getting close,” Kiba informed us.

“…how odd,” Neji muttered. “There hasn’t been a single trap so far. Shikamaru…what do you think?”

“We’re being underestimated,” Shikamaru said plainly. “They’re thinking that the big guy is the only one who would follow them. No one would set traps against their comrade.”

“Well then,” I chuckled under my breath, “They’re in for a surprise, aren’t they?”

 

We caught up with them quicker than expected. Shikamaru transformed into their comrade and joined up with them. It was a shame the kid was a bad actor, the rest of Orochimaru’s lackeys caught on fast. The spider kid tossed Sasuke to the girl and sent her and the twins ahead. He caught Shikamaru in a mess of spider thread, pinning him to a tree. Naruto tried to jump in with his Shadow Clones from above as I ducked below. Both of us ended up caught in the bastard’s sticky web. The stuff felt disgusting against my arms and legs. I struggled desperately against the threads. God, I hated spiders. 

The spider bastard was picking off the shadow clones he’d caught in his net. One by one they poofed away. He got really excited when he’d dispelled all but one. I smirked. 

Naruto dove in from above, knocking the spider bastard off his branch. Neji slipped by me, cutting me loose with his Gentle Fist. I swung up onto another branch beside Kiba and Shikamaru as Neji cut the real Naruto free of the spider bastard’s webbing. 

The spider bastard glared at Neji. “You…how did you?!”

Neji’s Byakugan eyes locked onto his enemy. “Things made from chakra will always be destroyed simply by putting chakra into it. It’s useless in front of my Gentle Fist. This guy’s jutsu…it seems like only I can deal with it. Go…I’ll take care of him.”

Akamaru whined, slipping back into Kiba’s coat. Kiba scowled. “It seems this guy’s stronger than the fatty we fought before…by a lot.”

Neji didn’t look at us. “If we don’t calculate it so one person’s responsible for getting rid of their own enemy it’s going to be rough, isn’t it?”

Shikamaru sighed. “Yeah.”

Neji turned to meet Naruto’s distressed gaze. “If you stop here, you’ll never catch up with Sasuke.” 

Naruto frowned. It had been hard enough to leave Chouji behind. 

Neji’s stare softened. “Naruto, Kourubi…your eyes see more clearly than mine.”

Naruto blinked in confusion. I flinched back. Me? What did he mean by that? I could understand him saying that to Naruto, given their fight…but me? Neji just smiled secretively and turned to face the spider bastard. “Right now, Sasuke is in the darkness. Hurry up and go. I’ll catch up with you later.”

I gasped quietly. Of course he meant Sasuke. Only an idiot could miss how I kept Sasuke by my side near constantly. I tried to keep him from being alone as much as I could. But I still hadn’t saved him yet, not completely. 

My brows furrowed. I reached out to place a hand on Neji’s shoulder. “Don’t die, Pretty Boy.”

Neji gave a stiff nod and I swallowed my worry and left with the rest.

 

Kiba and Akamaru sniffed cautiously. “They’re close!”

I could practically hear the gears turning in Shikamaru’s head. “We’ve got two more enemies, and we’ve got four…so it’s four verses two.”

“No,” Kiba corrected. “It’s five verses two.” 

Akamaru barked in agreement. Shikamaru gave a breathless laugh. 

“Right, right. Sorry, it’s five verses two.”

I frowned. “I have the feeling they’ll have reinforcements coming. Sasuke isn’t moving on his own, so if they want him to get over that border, they’ll have to hand him off to someone. The only question is who.” 

Naruto scowled, a growl bubbling up in his throat. “I have a pretty good idea.”

“Wanna share with the class?” Kiba asked over his shoulder.

“…Kabuto.”

“The guy from the Chunin Exams?” Shikamaru shouted. “You’re kidding me!”

“He was with Orochimaru when the pervy sage and I went to find Tsunade-baa-chan,” Naruto informed us. “He’s like his right hand man or something.”

“And if Orochimaru trusts anybody with his next vessel, it’s probably his right hand man,” I muttered. “We have to get Sasuke back before they hand him off.”

Shikamaru nodded. “Then we better hurry. C’mon!”

 

We caught up with the girl and the twins fairly quickly. Thanks to Shikamaru’s careful planning, I was just able to get an arm around Sasuke’s unconscious body before he was once again ripped from me. My pulse hammered in my ears as Kimimaro (his name I remembered at least) turned to face us. I couldn’t hear anything else. I couldn’t see anything but Kimimaro standing above Sasuke’s limp body.

“YOU BASTARD!” I roared. I jumped for him, kunai drawn. 

My neck snapped back as the girl’s fist collided with my face. I flew backwards. Shikamaru barely caught me. I could taste the blood that filled my mouth. Ugh. I spat it out onto the tree branch below us.

“Calm down,” Shikamaru hissed. “Damn, this is the kind of thing I expect from Naruto.”

“You should have seen me go up against Sasuke’s brother,” I joked bitterly. “I can be just as reckless as Sunshine here when I’m pissed enough.”

“Well, stop it!” he snapped. His dark eyes glowered at the girl and Kimimaro. “Listen, I’ll take care of her. You and Naruto chase after the new guy.”

“Like hell I was going to do anything else,” I groused, finally standing. 

The girl pulled her flute out from behind her back. Shikamaru, Naruto, and I charged. Shikamaru distracted the girl just long enough for Naruto and I to sail right over her head and chase after Kimimaro. We had to catch up with him before he got to Kabuto…if Kabuto was even going to show up. I had no way of knowing if my hypothesis was even correct. I could feel the Kyuubi’s chakra spilling out of Naruto’s form. Now he was good and angry, just like me. 

The forest finally ended, opening up into a long expanse of grass. We were getting close to the border. Too close. Kimimaro stopped suddenly, depositing Sasuke’s body almost gently on the ground, and turning towards us. Mori, Gan, and Tsutsuji circled above us, waiting for my order. 

Kimimaro’s eyes narrowed in confusion as he sensed the Kyuubi’s chakra. I glanced Naruto’s way. His eyes were brilliant red, like a Sharingan. The whisker marks on his cheeks had thickened and darkened. He looked like a man possessed. 

“What does Orochimaru want?!” He snarled. “Why is he after Sasuke?!”

Kimimaro’s voice was frustratingly calm as he spoke. “Orochimaru-sama has already completed the jutsu of immortality. In order to acquire all jutsu in the entire world he needs time.”

“The jutsu doesn’t extend to the physical form, right?” I snapped. “He needs to keep jumping bodies once the one he’s in isn’t viable anymore.”

Kimimaro nodded.

“That…that’s what Sasuke’s for?” Naruto snarled. “I won’t let you do such a thing!”

“You’re a little too late, Naruto-kun.”

I froze at the new voice. My eyes snapped to the tree line before us as Kabuto slithered out of the shadows. I drew a kunai and darted forward, hoping to intercept Kabuto before he got to Sasuke. 

Pain ripped through my arm as Kimimaro slammed into me, his bone sword piercing my forearm. 

“Thank you, Kimimaro,” Kabuto drawled. “I’ll be taking Sasuke-kun from here. I shall inform Orochimaru of your actions here. Should you survive, I’m sure he’ll reward you greatly.”

“Come back here, you motherfucker!” I shrieked, jerking back from Kimimaro. My arm protested, the pain searing at my flesh as the sword came free. I hurled my kunai at the fucker’s back, only for him to flicker away. 

“Nee-chan!” I twitched at the gruffness in Naruto’s voice. “Go! I’ll kick this guy’s ass and catch up with you soon!”

“Naruto…” I couldn’t leave Naruto behind! Anyone but Naruto! Naruto had to be there when Sasuke woke up! Sasuke had to see how much others cared about him, how much we’d fought to save him. I shook my head desperately. “Not without you, baby brother!”

“We don’t have time for this!” Naruto shouted. “Kabuto will take Sasuke over the border and then there will be nothing we can do!”

“Fuck the border!” I argued. “I’ll chase him over it, politics be damned. But, you have to be there, Naruto! I can’t be the only one to save Sasuke this time!”

I blinked and the clearing was filled with Naruto’s clones, thousands of them. One of them snatched be around the waist and took off running. 

“No! Fuck you! Let me go!” I hollered. I punched the clone in the gut and it disappeared. Before I could run back towards Naruto, another clone grabbed me. No matter how many I dispelled, another would be there to continue carrying me along like I was the goddamn Olympic torch.

“NARUTO!”

“I’ll catch up with you later,” the clone carrying me promised. “But it’ll be for nothing if you don’t stop him first!”

I fought back my tears. Dammit, he was right. Shit, it wasn’t supposed to happen like this! Naruto and I…Naruto and I…

I dispelled the clone, but instead of rushing back towards Naruto and I turned and jetting off in the direction Kabuto had to have gone. I reached out to Mori and Gan. Tsutsuji dove, coming to fly beside me.

“Keep running this way, Kou-sama!” she told me. “Mori-senpai and Gan-senpai say he’s just ahead!”

I glared at the endless sea of trees before me. “I’m coming for you, you bastard!”

 

The forest finally gave way. Before me was a stretch of mountains and plains. But more important, there was the canyon that created the border of the Land of Fire…and the Valley of the End. 

“Kabuto, you bastard!” I roared. “Give me back my baby brother!”

Kabuto turned slowly, carrying Sasuke’s unconscious body like something delicate. He stood atop the statue of Uchiha Madara, his face impassive. I stopped just across from him atop the head of Senju Hashirama. The waterfall between us nearly deafened me.

“Well, I’m surprised you were able to keep up with me,” Kabuto hummed thoughtfully. “Looks like I won’t be able to shake you off. I’d rather not do this, but I suppose if I have no other choice…”

“Nee-chan!” 

We both flinched as Naruto’s voice filled the air. Suddenly, he was beside me, a smug grin on his face.

“Told you I’d catch up,” he said, his eyes never leaving Kabuto’s form. “Now, let’s save Sasuke!”

I nodded. “How’s your transformation jutsu?”

Naruto’s grin only got wider. “Pretty damn good.”

“Fan-fucking-tastic!” I bit my thumb hard enough to draw blood, running through hand signs. I slammed my hands onto the stone beneath our feet. “SUMMONING JUTSU: FLOCK OF SHADOWS!”

The entire flock of Karasuno blackbirds filled the sky around us. I pointed dramatically in Kabuto’s direction. “Fuck him up!”

The flock shrieked as they dove towards Kabuto. I lunged after them, hoping to god that Naruto knew what to do. Kabuto swatted at the birds with one hand, trying to keep his grip on Sasuke. One of the birds suddenly disappeared into a puff of smoke and Naruto landed a kick to Kabuto’s face.

“Alright, Sunshine!” I shouted. Kabuto yelled wordlessly as he dropped Sasuke. I dove forward, catching Sasuke just before he hit the water. I jumped away, landing on the rocky shore along the river. My eyes scanned Sasuke’s body. His hands were bound with chakra sealing tags and I immediately ripped them off with a growl. 

Sasuke’s eyes immediately shot open, his Sharingan spinning rapidly. He sat up, looking around in a panic. When his eyes landed on me, the relief on his face nearly made me cry.

“Nee-san…”

“Oh, thank god you’re okay!” I threw my arms around him, squeezing him tightly. I pushed him back gently and called out to Naruto. “Naruto! Tsutsuji! He’s okay!”

Tsutsuji gave an excited cry, turning away from the flock and soaring down to land on Sasuke’s shoulder, rubbing her head against his cheek. “Sacchan! Sacchan! Tsutsuji knew Sacchan wouldn’t leave her!”

Naruto landed beside us, his eyes wide as he took in Sasuke’s form. “You good? They didn’t hurt you, did they?”

“I’d hope Orochimaru’s lackeys are smart enough not to damage their boss’s next body,” I groused. 

Sasuke stared at me; the hand that was petting Tsutsuji froze. “What?”

“That’s what Orochimaru wanted you for,” I explained. “He was going to wear your body like a suit until he couldn’t use it anymore. That power he promised you, just a ruse.” 

Sasuke scowled, glaring up at Kabuto. “So…what now?”

“We can’t get close to him,” Naruto hissed. “He’ll use his jutsu to cut your insides up and make it so you can’t move.”

“Well then,” I turned to Sasuke with a grin. “Looks like it’s our turn.”

I stood, running through a quick series of hand signs before landing on tiger. Sasuke’s eyes went wide in understanding and a moment later he too was on his feet, his hands flying as he cycled through hand signs. I lifted my fingers to my mouth like a funnel and Sasuke did the same. I inhaled deeply, feeling the heat build up in my lungs.

“Koton: Great Flame Flower!”

“Koton: Great Fireball Technique!”

I exhaled sharply through my mouth, a multitude of fireballs flying towards Kabuto. The flock dispersed as our flames soared through the air. Kabuto jumped out of the way just in time, plummeting towards the river below. The bastard landed on his feet, of course, running over the water towards us. Naruto summoned a series of clones, most of who rushed at him. One stayed behind, helping Naruto form a Rasengan. I hadn’t seen it yet. I honestly couldn’t decide which was more impressive: the Rasengan or the Chidori. God, I wanted a cool technique like that. I’d have to tweak my Melody jutsu. 

“That won’t work on me this time, Naruto-kun!” Kabuto cackled. “I’ve already seen it!”

Naruto scowled, charging at Kabuto with the Rasengan anyway. Sasuke called forth his Chidori, the lightning shrieking in my ear, and charged along side Naruto. I scowled. There was no way I was going to let the boys do all the fighting this time! I cycled through the signs for my Water Heavens Convergence. I pulled at the river water, feeling it bend to my will. 

Kabuto dropped under the water to dodge Naruto and Sasuke’s attacks. I smirked.

“Not so fast!” I shouted. I tugged at the water, wrapping it around Kabuto and pulling him back towards the surface. 

He gasped as he breached the surface, tendrils of water wrapping around his arms and torso and holding him steady. I squeezed him tighter. But then his body exploded into a spray of water. Shit! My eyes darted around the area. Where did he go?

Naruto cried out and my head snapped in his direction just in time to see Kabuto’s hand slip away from Naruto’s ankle. Sasuke reached out to catch his friend before he fell into the water. Sasuke dragged Naruto back to the shore, glaring at Kabuto. Shit, this is when I wished we had Ryou with us, or any medic ninja really. 

“You did say not to get too close,” Sasuke grumbled. 

I sent a barrage of water bullets at Kabuto, who easily dodged all of them. I growled. This pissed me off way more than I expected it to. But we couldn’t just run. Kabuto would catch up with us easily. We had to exhaust him enough that he retreated. 

Naruto attempted to get to his feet, but with the tendons around his ankle severed there was no way he was going to be moving any time soon. He summoned another platoon of clones and an idea struck me. I ran through another series of hand signs and pulled the river water towards the clones, wrapping them in something akin to armor.

“Suiton: Water Armor!”

The clones charged forward with my protection. I wrapped the original Naruto along with myself and Sasuke in water as well. Just in case. I wish I’d thought of this earlier, dammit. 

Something bubbled up around Naruto. I turned to see the Kyuubi’s red chakra spilling out from his belly. Steam rose up from his ankle. Did…did the chakra reconnect his tendons? Could it do that?

Sasuke surged forward as well, kunai in hand. Kabuto easily knocked back Naruto’s shadow clones and disarmed Sasuke, turning the kunai on its owner. The water armor kept the kunai from piercing Sasuke’s flesh, but I was starting to feel the drain. My chakra reserves were nothing to sneeze at, but that didn’t mean I could maintain two chakra intensive techniques for too long. I pulled out two kunai. This had to end quickly. I pulled the water around me to encase my kunai, hardening it into two blades of ice. I charged forward as Sasuke got knocked back, swinging at Kabuto like I’d seen my mother do during her morning practice. I gave a short, exhilarated laugh when I managed to catch him in the side, drawing blood. He scowled at me, thrusting a glowing green hand at me. 

“Don’t touch her!” Naruto shouted. I barely ducked out of the way of his shuriken as they flew our way. One caught Kabuto along the cheek and another embedded itself in his shoulder. 

Kabuto pulled out one of his ominously curved kunai and flicked his wrist upwards at my face. The blade sliced across my jaw. I hissed at the stinging pain, jumping back. Fuck, that was going to leave a scar. Sasuke gave a furious howl and charged forward with another Chidori. Naruto echoed him with a roar of his own and rushed at Kabuto with a Rasengan in hand. I had to keep Kabuto still for them to land their hit! I pulled at the river water once more, wrapping it around Kabuto’s feet and ankles. Panic filled the Sound ninja’s eyes. He threw himself to the side at the last minute, but it wasn’t enough to completely dodge the Chidori or Naruto’s Rasengan.

Kabuto let out a blood-curdling scream as the lightning chakra ripped through his flesh. Naruto’s Rasengan slammed into Kabuto’s side, snapping his whole body back the other way. I could only imagine what that did to his internal organs. He grit his teeth and threw his kunai at Sasuke. The curved blade obviously wasn’t meant to be thrown, and instead of hitting any vital organs it sunk into the meaty part of Sasuke’s calf. I rushed his way, dropping the ice around one of my kunai and tossing it Kabuto’s way in order to have a hand open to catch Sasuke. I jumped back with him in my arm to the shore, Naruto just behind me. Kabuto, now released from my watery shackles, jumped back to the other side. 

I looked over to him, eyebrows furrowed. I didn’t understand him. I couldn’t wrap my head around his motivations. Why did he follow Orochimaru? Why was he so loyal to him? I wanted…I wanted to save him dammit! I’d liked him when he was first introduced in the story. He was nice and didn’t treat Naruto like a fuck up. I’d been devastated when he’d been revealed as a spy.

“What’s with that look?” Kabuto asked, a mocking smirk on his lips. “Trying to figure out how to kill me?”

“I…I wish I could save you,” I breathed, a sob at the back of my throat. “But I don’t know how…I’m sorry.”

Surprise, confusion, anger, pity. That was what I could see on Kabuto’s face as he tried to process what I said. He spat on the pebbled ground beneath his feet. 

“I’d like to play with you some more, but I’ve wasted enough time on you,” he informed me, his voice cold. “But don’t worry, Orochimaru-sama will have Sasuke eventually.”

I tugged Sasuke and Naruto close to me. “Tell your master that Uchiha Sasuke is under the protection of the Karasuno clan. If he wants Sasuke, he’ll have to deal with every bird in the flock first!”

Kabuto scowled once more before flickering away. 

I groaned deeply, the water armor dropping from our bodies as I released the jutsu. I was so tired. Sasuke and Naruto collapsed against me. Sasuke had used his Chidori twice in a short period of time, which was bound to drain him of his relatively small chakra reserves. Naruto had been running and fighting all day. Even his stamina couldn’t keep up any more. 

It started raining. I wanted to move the boys, but I couldn’t carry them both. Naruto was too exhausted to walk on his own and Sasuke couldn’t walk on his leg. I stared up at the dark clouds above me. I prayed the others were alright. Mori and Gan landed in front of me. Tsutsuji fluttered down to land on Sasuke’s shoulder. 

“Kou-chan?” Gan called carefully.

“We won…” I murmured. I reached out and wrapped and arm around Sasuke and Naruto, pulling them closer to me. My breath hitched. “We saved him. He’s…he’s gonna come home.”  
“Am I too late?”

I turned to look over my shoulder at Kakashi, his hair drooping in the rain. I smiled brightly at him, tears spilling over my cheeks.

“No, you’re just in time,” I told him. “I was just trying to figure out how I was going to get them back to Konoha. Can’t carry them both myself, you know.”

The tension fell from Kakashi’s shoulders as he wandered over. The pure relief in his eye matched my own. Pakkun scampered over; scaring Mori and Gan back a few feet. Kakashi knelt before me. 

“Thank you,” he murmured. “For not giving up on them.”

“Why would I ever give up on my baby brothers?”

He smiled at me, or at least I assumed it was a smile. His eye didn’t crinkle in the corner like it usually did, but his gaze softened. 

“Let’s go home, ne?”

“Yes. You should probably take Naruto, he’s the heavier one.”

Kakashi nodded and scooped Naruto up into his arms. I slipped one arm under Sasuke’s knees and the other around his back. I pulled him close to me and stood on shaky legs. His eyes fluttered open for a moment.

“Nee-san?” 

I smiled down at him. “It’s okay, little lion man. We’re going home. You just sleep.”

“Don’t want to…I can walk.”

“Not with your leg the way it is,” I insisted gently. “If you don’t go to sleep on your own, I’ll have to sing a lullaby. I have one just perfect for this weather.”

“You wouldn’t…”

I smiled, following after Kakashi, and sang anyway. 

“Little child, be not afraid,  
The rain pounds harsh against the glass,  
Like an unwanted stranger,  
There is no danger,  
I am here tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs Appearing in This Chapter
> 
> [Lullaby For A Stormy Night by Vienna Teng](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlmhMS_luX8)


	11. In Which Three Months Pass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for helping this story reach 100 kudos! I never thought any of my stories would hit this milestone and I'm just blown away by the love. In celebration, I started posting another AU in Melody From Another Ship, go check it out when you have the time! For now, enjoy this next chapter and I hope to see you in the comments!

“I’ve been spending way too much time in hospitals lately.”

Shikamaru gave a short snort of a laugh, and I couldn’t tell whether he actually thought what I’d said was funny, or if he was just humoring me. We walked slowly down the seemingly endless hallways of the hospital. We were the only members of the team still on their feet. Chouji and Neji were stable, at least, and Kiba was doing as well as he could be. I rubbed absentmindedly at my bandaged arm. 

“So.” Shikamaru glanced at me as I spoke. “First mission as a team leader was a success. Congrats.”

Shikamaru frowned, his gaze going to the floor. “Yeah…can’t help thinking what would happen if I’d done anything different.”

“What do you mean?” 

“I can’t help feeling like we were two steps from failure,” Shikamaru muttered, his hands stuffed deeply into his pockets. “Chouji and Neji almost died. If those Suna ninjas hadn’t showed up, Kiba and I would be just as bad. I…feel like that I’m not nearly as good of a leader as they’re trying to make me feel I am.”

I stared at Shikamaru. What could I say to that? Well, I knew what I could say, but would that actually make him feel any better?

“The only thing that could have changed anything, the only thing that would have made us fail, would be if Sasuke had left of his own accord.”

Shikamaru turned to look at me, a single brow raised. 

“If Sasuke had left the village of his own free will, nothing we could have done would have made the mission a success,” I admitted plainly. “But nothing else would have changed. Everyone would have come back alive. Everyone would have been fine.” I smiled at him a little. “You should have more faith in yourself and your comrades.”

“How is it that you can be so sure of that?” he asked.

I grinned. “I can see the future.”

Shikamaru just shook his head. It wasn’t the truth, but it was close enough. But even Sasuke didn’t know that half of the truth…and if I had any say about it, it would remain that way. It was hard enough telling him what I had. I still wasn’t sure if he actually believed me. 

I reached out and patted Shikamaru on the shoulder. “I should go. Gotta make sure someone’s there for Naruto and Sasuke when they get out.”

“Yeah, alright…” I turned to walk down a hall branching off from the one Shikamaru and I had just wandered down. “Hey, Kourubi.” I paused and turned to look back at him. He smiled, just a little. “Thanks.”

“Any time, Smarty pants.” 

 

I paced back and forth in front of the examination room where Ryou was helping a senior medic nin patch Naruto and Sasuke up. Compared to the others, they’d gotten off pretty easily. Naruto could chalk that up to the Kyuubi’s chakra. So why was it taking them so long?

“Kourubi?” My head shot up at the sound of a familiar voice. Gaara stood some distance away, waiting for me to acknowledge he was there before he continued his approach. Probably something he had to do to keep people back home from freaking out.

“Oh, hey Sleepyhead.”

Gaara stopped short, blinking in surprise. I suddenly felt flustered.

“Sorry,” I apologized, hands waving wildly as I tried to defuse the situation that honestly wasn’t going south. “It’s a thing I do…nickname people. It was the first thing that popped into my head. If you don’t like it I can come up with something else…”

“No, it’s fine,” Gaara murmured. “I’ve just…never had a nickname before.”

The ‘except when people called me monster’ was left unsaid. 

I decided it was best if I changed the subject. “What can I do for you?”

He glanced briefly at the door that hid Naruto and Sasuke from the rest of the world.

“Sorry, kiddo, they’re not letting one see them yet,” I apologize once again. “Ryou’s probably fussing over them. He does that a lot. He also yells a lot. You should have heard his rant when he saw the hole in my arm that Kimimaro guy gave me.” I pause, the joking smile I wore fading from my face. “About him…is he?”

“Dead,” Gaara said plainly. “But not by my hand. He was…ill.”

“Yeah,” I sighed. “Shame. I thought, even for a moment, if we brought him back to Konoha, Tsunade could save him.”

Gaara’s piercing gaze fell on me, a storm of questions in his eyes. “Why would you…?”

“Idunno. Got a thing for what some might call broken people,” I said with a shrug, a bitter smile tugging at my lips. “Like to think I can fix them. Naruto’s better at it than I am, though.”

“You fixed Sasuke.”

I gave a small huff of a laugh. “No, not really. Not yet. But to fix him I have to fix someone else. And if I’m going to fix that person, I have to fix the village. It’s an ongoing project. Kinda like you.”

Gaara blinked again. I gave him a knowing smile. “You may have fixed yourself with the tools Naruto gave you, but you’ve still got many years of loneliness I’ve gotta make up for. Starting now. C’mere. I wanna hug you.” 

Gaara took a small step back. “What? Why?”

“You don’t really need a reason to hug someone. But if you need one, call it a thank you for helping Lee.” 

I extended one arm out to him, waiting for him to make the next move. Gaara stared at me for a long moment before stepping into arms reach. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him close. His entire form felt coarse and unusually cold. Then I remembered the sand. 

“Maybe someday you’ll let me hug the real you,” I hummed thoughtfully. I rested my chin atop his head. “I forget how tiny you all are sometimes.” Gaara made a noise of protest. “Shut up, you totally are. But you’re a kid, so it’s okay that you’re tiny. I bet you’ll be taller than me when you grow up, though.”

Gaara said nothing. I sighed, pulling away with one last ruffle of his hair…or the sand shell around his hair. 

“You can wait with me if you want,” I offered. “But I don’t know how long they’ll be.”

Gaara gave the door once last glance before shaking his head. I smiled gently.

“I’ll tell them you stopped by, then.”

 

It was late in the evening when I finally led Sasuke and Naruto out of the hospital. Both of them were heavily bandaged and Sasuke hobbled along on a crutch. Ryou had insisted that he’d be by the next day to change their bandages and check on their wounds. I offered to let Naruto stay at my home so Ryou could look after them at the same time instead of having to trek all over Konoha. Naruto’s eyes had lit up at the idea of a sleep over and Ryou had been more than grateful. 

Sakura met us outside the hospital. Tears spilled over her cheeks at the sight of Naruto and Sasuke, wounded but safe. She ran up the stairs to pull the three of us into a group hug, her tears staining Sasuke’s shirt. 

“Hey, cherry pie.” Sakura’s eyes drifted to me. “Naruto’s gonna be staying at my place for a bit so Ryou can check up on him and Sasuke. How about you help him grab some stuff from his place and Mori will make sure you make it to my house? Sound like a plan?”

Sakura nodded and grabbed Naruto’s hand, tugging him down the stairs towards the busy streets. Mori chuckled softly and took off after them. The walk back home with Sasuke was slow, but that was more than alright. It gave Tsutsuji plenty of time to chatter Sasuke’s ear off about anything and everything. It was endearing to watch Sasuke humor his partner, interspersing her ramblings with small hums and ‘is that so’s. 

The look of relief on my mother’s face when she saw us nearly made me cry. Tears rolled down her face as she pulled me and Sasuke into a tight embrace. She demanded to know everything: what had happened, if the others were okay, if I’d killed the bastard that’d stolen Sasuke away. I told her as much as I could, and the expression on her face when I admitted that Kabuto had gotten away frightened me. I’d never seen her look so livid. 

“If I ever see that young man, I’m going to kill him myself,” she seethed, her eyes dark and foreboding. 

“Get in line,” tou-san muttered. His expression softened when he looked at the two of us. “You did good, Kourubi-chan. I’m proud of you.”

It was dark out when Sakura and Naruto finally arrived. Sakura kept glancing at the clock, knowing she should probably go, but not wanting to leave Sasuke and Naruto just yet.

“Just stay the night, cherry pie,” I told her. “Let one of the birds take a message to your folks. There’s plenty of room for all of you here.” 

“Can I really?” she asked, her voice tight, like she didn’t actually want to get her hopes up.

“Of course,” I assured her. “I’m sure Sunshine and little lion man want you here too.”

And that’s how Sakura and Naruto ended up curled around Sasuke on my bed like they were trying to make sure he wouldn’t disappear in the middle of the night again. I smiled at them, pressing a soft kiss good night to their foreheads in turn before taking my place on Naruto’s other side.

 

My eyes fluttered open. Something had woke me, but what? I turned my head to the left to see Sasuke and his teammates curled up around each other. Ah…that’s right. I’d almost forgotten that Naruto and Sakura were here. But that wasn’t what woke me. No…I could feel eyes on me. A sinking feeling that I was being watched. No, sinking wasn’t the right word. I wasn’t scared, nor was I uncomfortable. The eyes were not unwelcomed. Or maybe that was just the sleep talking.

I turned my head to the right, gazing through the glass door to my balcony. The curtains were thrown open, letting moonlight shine through. There was a figure sitting on the railing. The moonlight reflected off grey hair, making it appear silvery-white. I sat up slowly, careful not to wake Naruto, as he was the closest to me. I slipped from the bed, padding softly across the cold floor. I slid the door open and stepped out into the cool night air. The man on my balcony didn’t move.

“Hello, Kakashi,” I murmured, sleep making my voice raspy. “You know, most people don’t like it when someone watches them sleep.”

“Sorry,” Kakashi said, his voice matching my low volume. “Just came to check on my ducklings.”

“They’re fine,” I promised, looking over my shoulder at the sleeping genin. Naruto had rolled over, sprawling over the space where I used to be. Rude.

“You’ve done so much for them,” Kakashi whispered. “Sometimes I think you’ve done more for them than I ever could.”

I turned back to him, trying hard to read the expression on his face. It was hard with most of it covered. There was sadness in his eye, sadness and regret and a little bit of self-loathing. It broke my heart.

“I don’t think that at all,” I said, waiting for his gaze to drift back to me before I continued. “You taught them about teamwork. You taught them how to survive and rely on each other. I mostly just baby them. I give them hugs and kisses and a shoulder to cry on. If we’re sticking with the duckling metaphor…then you taught them to fly. I just remind them they have a nest to return home to when their wings get tired.” 

I smiled up at him, taking in the shadows the moonlight cast over his handsome features. That mask of his couldn’t hide his strong jaw or the sleepy droop of his eyes. I wondered how I looked to him. Did the light of the full moon change the way he saw me?

“It could be your nest too, if you wanted it to.”

Kakashi’s eye widened ever so slightly for the briefest moment in a ‘blink and you miss it’ sort of way. He chuckled, deep in his throat, and it sent a shiver down my spine. 

“I did say my bed could fit your entire team including you and I’d still be able to sleep comfortably,” I reminded, recalling the first time Kakashi had been in my room (my balcony totally counted as my room, shut up). “I bet I could even fit Iruka in there with us. Then my drakes and my ducklings would all be in my nest.”

“Sounds a little crowded,” Kakashi replied smoothly. Jesus fuck, how was he so good at this?

I took a small step forward, placing myself between his knees. “Well, we can always make the ducklings sleep in Sasuke’s room.”

“That does sound tempting,” Kakashi admitted. He reached out for a moment, his hand stilling mere centimeters from my cheek before it dropped back to his side. “Perhaps another night.”

I inched closer to him, bravery I didn’t recognize in my chest. “Hold still.”

Kakashi jerked backwards, moving his hands to grip the balcony railing to keep himself from falling. “What are you doing?”

“Just trust me,” I giggled.

“In my experience, nothing good has ever come after those words.”

“Oh, stop whining, you big baby. I’m not going to hurt you.”

Kakashi stilled as I raised a hand to tug his headband down over his other eye. He whispered my name, a slight panic in his voice. I ignored him, standing on my tiptoes to press my lips to his forehead. His whole body stiffened at the soft contact. I stepped back, pushing his headband back up so I could see both of his eyes. 

“Sorry,” I apologized. “It’s a thing I do.”

Kakashi looked at me incredulously. “Kiss people?” 

“Kisses are important,” I insisted. “Forehead kisses, nose kisses, kisses on the cheek and on the top of your head.” I suddenly felt shy. “Never kissed anyone on the lips before, though. No one’s ever taken me on a second date.”

“Is that all it takes?”

I smiled coyly. “I have to really like you to even offer a second date.”

There was that chuckle again. “Iruka and I are very lucky, then.”

“I’m glad you think so.”

There was fondness in his eyes as he reached up to brush my hair away from my face. His hand was cool and his fingers rough. The fabric of his glove tickled my cheek. The air felt thick as I struggled to breathe. Any confidence I had went out the window as he held my gaze. He leaned forward, his stare never breaking, until our noses brushed.

“Sweet dreams, Kourubi.”

And like that, he was gone. 

 

Ryou arrived early the next morning, before the four of us were even really awake. He brought with him the small, grey tabby kitten from the third exam. 

“Try not to make a mess, Mulberry,” Ryou warned as he unwrapped Naruto’s bandages. 

“Okay, Ryou,” the kitten meowed; deciding the best course of action was to curl up in Sakura’s lap. The girl squealed quietly and rubbed at the kitten’s ears. Her eyes, however, were on Ryou and his glowing green hands.

“Kourubi-senpai,” she whispered. I turned to look at her, gasping silently at the determination in her eyes. “I’m…going to ask Tsunade to make me her apprentice.”

The surprise on my face melted into a small smile. “That sounds fantastic, cherry pie.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah. I think…you’re going to be amazing.” I turned my gaze back to Sasuke and Naruto. “All of you are.”

 

I wandered down the main market street, canvas bag over my shoulder and a list of ingredients for a simple stir-fry in my hand. Kaa-san was out of a mission today and couldn’t predict if she’d be home for dinner or not, so she’d left me a simple recipe to make for the boys and me. Sakura’s visits had become more sporadic since she’d entered into Tsunade’s care. Ryou had been kind enough to inform me of her progress. He was pretty proud of her. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone contemplate bell peppers so thoroughly before.”

I blinked at the produce in front of me, realizing I’d be staring at them for a few solid minutes there. I turned to see Iruka smiling down at me. I could feel the heat crawling across my cheeks and down my neck.

“S-sorry, I was just, you know, lost in thought.” I stuttered, internally smacking myself.

“I could tell,” Iruka chuckled. His smile faded as his eyes fell on the scar that cut across my jaw line. “Are you doing okay?”

“Yeah,” I murmured, thumb brushing across the mark. The scar tissue still felt foreign under my fingers, but at least it didn’t hurt anymore. “I got off easy compared to the boys, especially Neji and Chouji. But they all came back alive, so there’s not really much I can complain about.”

“I see…”

“Um…do you want to come over?” I asked. “I bet Naruto would be happy to see you. Sasuke too.”

It was Iruka’s turn to blush. “Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

I waved my hand dismissively. “I wouldn’t have invited you if I wasn’t sure. You’ll have to help me finish my shopping, though. If that’s okay.”

Iruka chuckled. “Certainly. Now, do you actually need bell peppers or were just staring at them for fun?”

 

I was surprised to see three tiny figures standing outside the Karasuno compound, hiding just out of sight of the main house. I hadn’t seen Konohamaru since the Third Hokage’s funeral. The three whispered conspiratorially to each other, their heads turning back and forth between their tiny band and the main house.

I shushed Iruka gently and used every ninja skill I had to quietly sneak up behind the three. “You know, the easiest way to see Naruto is to just go up and knock on the door.”

The three yelped and jumped several feet back. I chuckled at them, not bothering to hide my amusement. I could hear Iruka laughing behind me as he approached. The kid’s eyes widened at the sight of their teacher. They probably had quite a few questions, but I wasn’t about to deal with them right now.

“You do want to see Naruto, right?” 

Konohamaru stubbornly didn’t say anything, but Moegi nodded shyly behind him. I smiled and nodded my head in the direction of my home. “C’mon then, there’s no use just leaving you to stand out here for hours.”

I didn’t envy Naruto’s position as Team Konohamaru’s favorite playmate. He was lucky he’d recovered from his injuries so quickly, because most people would never be able to keep up with Konohamaru and his friends after getting the shit beat out of them not much more than a month earlier. Sasuke was just happy to have a decent excuse to get out of playing. 

Iruka watched quietly, hiding a smile behind the hand he’d been resting his chin on. I wondered how Iruka felt, knowing that Naruto had made so many new friends in such a short period of time. Naruto had been friendless most of his life and now, within the span of a few months, he’d gained more than he could count on two hands. I hoped Iruka was proud of him. He probably was. 

His dark eyes glanced in my direction, catching me staring. I looked away quickly. He chuckled. God, what was with him and Kakashi and their laughs just making me feel all gooey inside. Ugh, I couldn’t tell if I loved it or I hated it!

“So, you passed the chunin exams,” Iruka said casually. “Looks like Kakashi and I owe you a date.”

I blinked in surprise. I hadn’t actually expected either of them to agree to a date. “Oh…yeah. Looks like it. But don’t you worry about it. I’ll take care of everything.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive,” I assured. 

He smiled and my stomach turned summersaults. God, I was pathetic. He glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed heavily.

“I should go,” he said, standing. “I have assignments to grade.” 

“Sounds like fun,” I joked. I stood as well. “I’ll walk you to the gate. Naruto! Iruka-sensei is leaving! Come say bye!”

Naruto broke away from where he had Udon and Konohamaru pinned to the ground and bowled Iruka over in a bear hug. Sometimes I wondered if Naruto recognized his own strength. Iruka seemed to take it in stride, ruffling Naruto’s hair and squeezing him tight. Once Naruto’s farewell was taken care of, he stood and reached out to give Sasuke’s shoulder a gentle squeeze. Sasuke muttered a quiet ‘bye’ and then stood and walked off without explanation. The boy was strangely shy sometimes. 

Iruka and I walked side by side down the short path from the main house to the large compound gate. I felt like I needed to say something, anything, but I couldn’t think of anything to talk about. Iruka didn’t seem to mind the silence, at least. I stopped just inside the gate, scuffing my toe nervously in the dirt. 

“Thanks for coming to see him, even if Konohamaru and the others took up most of his attention,” I said.

“Thank you for letting me come see him,” Iruka replied, that dumb fucking smile on his face. 

I was going to say something else, but the sudden presence of arms around my back and the broad chest my nose was being pressed against effectively shut me up. My arms hung loosely by my side for a long moment, unsure of what to do. Slowly, carefully, I lifted them up to Iruka’s shoulders, letting him hold me close. He was warm, like extraordinarily so. 

“Thank you for looking after them,” he murmured in my ear. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end. 

“You don’t need to thank me,” I insisted quietly. 

“I wanted to.” 

I couldn’t tell how long we stood there, hugging each other tightly like there was no one else in the world. It was nice to be the person being hugged instead of the one hugging. Iruka was warm, and he smelled good, like dusty books and the salty breeze off the ocean. He was surprisingly solid, considering he was a schoolteacher. I liked it. 

I tried not to look too obviously disappointed when he pulled away with a faint blush on his cheeks. 

“I’ll…um…I’ll see you around, yeah?”

I blinked, surprised by his sudden shyness. “Yeah, totally. And hey, if you wanna just, you know, sit and talk, the door’s always open.”

Iruka gave a nervous little chuckle. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

 

“Why are we going to Ryou’s instead of him coming to us like he always has?” Sasuke muttered, glaring at the bright sun like it had done something to offend him personally.

“Because the two of you have been cooped up in that house for two months and you need a change of scenery,” I informed him. “Besides, Ryou did us a huge favor. We can be nice and let him work from home this one time. This is your last follow up, after all.”

Ryou’s apartment was more of a town house. The two-story cottage pressed right up against its neighbors, leaving only a thin patch of grass out back for a yard. The front stoop didn’t even fit the three of us, Naruto barely fitting on the edge of the bottom step as I knocked on Ryou’s dark green door. Luckily, the door swung inwards as Ryou opened it. 

“Hey, thanks for coming. Watch your step, Mulberry’s been kinda wired today so she might dart around your legs,” Ryou warned. “Oh, and put your shoes in the cubbies, or Tiramisu will hump them.” He pointed at a small shelving unit hanging from the wall, just high enough that none of the cats could reach it. 

I toed off my shoes and immediately snatched them up off the floor. I wasn’t about to take a chance that the stupid middle-aged-man cat would do anything to my shoes. Sasuke and Naruto followed my example, the two of them glancing around the entryway suspiciously. We wandered farther into the house. Despite its lack of space, the place felt very open and airy. The living room opened up into the kitchen with only a small breakfast bar separating the two spaces and I had a clear line of sight to the large, sliding glass doors that led into the backyard from the kitchen. Genma lay on the couch like he fucking belonged there, playing with the small brown tabby cat that lay on his chest. 

“Isn’t that the guy from the third exam?” Sasuke asked, one eyebrow raised quizzically. 

I shrugged. “Yeah, Ryou’s dating him or something.”

There was a loud squawk behind us and I turned to see Naruto ducking away from the bookshelf. My gaze rose slightly and I caught sight of a very large and very furry cat atop the bookcase. It stared down at me with big green eyes, one paw extended out. 

“I see you’ve met Bookcase,” Ryou said as he reappeared from down the hallway, a small med kit in his hands. “If you’re quiet, you might meet Toaster too. You’ll definitely meet Pants the moment you sit down.” He turned to Genma. “Alright, sit up, I got work to do.”

“But the cat,” Genma protested, scratching the cat currently using him as a pillow behind the ears.

“Guacamole’s a big kitty, she can handle you moving,” Ryou chided, smacking lightly at Genma’s leg. 

“You’re actually a very small kitty, aren’t you,” Genma cooed at the cat, Guacamole apparently, as he lifted her off his chest and repositioned himself to only be taking up half the couch.

“Well, not terribly small, but yes, I am small,” Guacamole replied, looking very pleased with all the attention she was getting.

Sasuke stared wide-eyed at this apparently new development. “Do…all your cats talk?”

Ryou gave a snort of laughter. “No, just the ninja ones. Trust me, I’m very happy only a few of them talk. If Pants talked, he’d never shut up. Here, Naruto, come sit here in front of me and take off your jacket. I’ll do you first since you’re pretty much fine now anyway.” 

Naruto settled in front of Ryou, sitting cross-legged on the floor. Sasuke and I sat on the loveseat across from Ryou as the medic ninja worked. There was a long, drawn out meowing and a small, cream and chocolate colored cat came trotting up to Naruto. I watched with barely contained giggles as the tiny cat immediately shoved its head up Naruto’s pant leg. 

“And that’s Pants,” Ryou introduced nonchalantly. “Three guesses how he got his name and the first two don’t count.”

Naruto giggled, reaching down to gently pull the cat out of his pant leg. “You dumb kitty, you can’t fit up there.” He pulled Pants into his lap and immediately began rubbing at his ears and neck. Pants began purring very loudly. Naruto laughed. “He sounds like a lawn mower!”

“He’s very vocal, yeah,” Ryou said, peeling off a bandage from Naruto’s shoulder blade and giving the area an appraising look. “Kinda why I’m glad he doesn’t talk.”

“How many cats do you have?” Naruto asked.

“Eight that are actually mine,” Ryou explained. “There’s the five ninneko: Tiramisu, Cheesecake, Hamburger, Mulberry, whom you’ve met, and Guacamole here. Then there’s Bookcase, Pants, and Toaster. If you’re really lucky, you’ll meet Toaster but don’t be surprise if you don’t. She’s a very nervous kitty. And then I have, like, four that just keep showing up in my yard that definitely aren’t mine. The fat white one is Hashirama.”

“I still think it’s a little sacrilegious that you named him after the first Hokage,” Genma joked. 

“Pfft, he’s a political figure, not a religious one,” Ryou insisted. “Besides, who doesn’t want a cat named after them?” He gave Naruto one more once over before nodding approvingly. “Alright, kiddo. You’re clear. Now try not to nearly get yourself killed again any time soon. You lot nearly gave me a heart attack. Your turn, Sasuke.”

Naruto stood, Pants jumping from his lap as he moved, and swapped places with Sasuke. Sasuke stared incredulously at Pants as the cat stuck his head up Sasuke’s shorts. I barely held back my snort of laughter at the whole scene. Sasuke gently pushed the cat back and Pants decided the best course of action was to rub himself all over Sasuke and then wander over to see if he could shove his head up my pants instead. Unluckily for him, my shorts were considerably tighter around my thighs than Sasuke’s were. I reached down to scratch at the underside of Pants chin in apology. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a tiny, black cat peeking out from under the bookshelf that Bookshelf rested atop. Bright amber eyes stared at us curiously. I watched as the tiny cat slinked out from under the bookshelf and cautiously wandered over to Naruto, who was paying more attention to Pants than he was anything else. Ryou noticed the cat as well and stared slack jawed as the cat sat by Naruto’s feet and raised one paw to place it gently on Naruto’s knee. Naruto blinked in surprise and turned his attention to the black cat.

“Hi,” he greeted, extending a hand for the cat to smell. “Who are you?”

“That’s Toaster,” Ryou introduced. “And I’ve never seen her come up to a stranger so easily before. It took weeks before she’d let Genma be in the same room as her. We knew he’d made it when I found her napping with him one day. Cutest thing ever.”

“I got a way with animals,” Naruto explained. He glared at Sasuke when he snorted. “Okay, animals other than that terror the Daimyo’s wife calls a cat.” He reached down and gently lifted Toaster into his lap, the tiny cat going stiff for a moment before she relaxed and allowed Naruto to pet her. “Why is she called Toaster?”

“Because she’s fucking terrified of the toaster.” Genma chuckled. “Along with everything else.”

“She’s a nervous baby, but she’s very sweet,” Ryou assured. “I don’t associate with people who don’t like Toaster.” He patted Sasuke’s shoulder. “You’re good, kiddo.”

Sasuke stood, staring almost comically seriously at Toaster. He moved slowly around the coffee table in the middle of the room, one hand outstretched. He approached the cat from the front, letting Toaster watch him. He stopped just short of touching the cat, letting her smell his hand for as long as she wanted. When she didn’t bolt, he rested his hand on her head, rubbing gently at her ears. 

Guacamole sniffed from her position on Genma’s lap. “Toaster always gets all the attention.”

Naruto gave a loud snort of a laugh and Toaster bolted, jumping off his lap and scurrying back under the bookcase. Sasuke glared at Naruto and Naruto gave a small cry. 

“Oh no, I’m sorry, kitty.” He got on his knees and peered under the bookcase at Toaster. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Don’t take it too personally, Naruto, she’s scared of everything,” Ryou soothed. “Even me sometimes.”

Naruto frowned, obviously disappointed in himself. I sighed and stood, moving to stand beside him. 

“C’mon, Sunshine, staring at her won’t get her to come back out.”

Naruto pouted, sitting back on his knees. “But I wanna pet her some more.”

“I know,” I soothed, running a hand through his hair. “Maybe next time.”

“But next time won’t be in forever!” He whined. “Cause I’m going off to train with the pervy sage for three years soon!”

I froze. This was the first time Naruto had mentioned his training with Jiraiya. When had the Sannin even had the chance to approach Naruto about it? I’d rarely left the boys alone while they were recovering. This shouldn’t have been news to me. I’d known all along that Naruto would have to leave eventually. I just…hadn’t known when. 

Naruto seemed to notice my troubled expression, as his frown deepened. I sighed, trying to compose myself. I forced a smile to my face. “Well, maybe I can bring you over again one more time before you leave. Would that be okay, Ryou?”

Ryou glanced back and forth between my forced smile and Naruto’s sad frown. He smiled sadly. “Sure, kiddo. You can come play with the cats anytime.” 

By some minor miracle, I managed to catch both Iruka and Kakashi with the same day off. Kakashi had been running missions like he was the only jonin in the village and even Iruka had been out of the village recently. Luckily for me, Tsunade understood that a well-rested soldier was a more efficient soldier, and had forced Kakashi into a three-day rest period. 

Asking them out individually had been easier than I’d expected it to be. I’d debated whether or not I should tell Kakashi the correct time. A part of me hoped that he’d have enough respect for me to show up on time…but I ended up telling him to come three hours before he actually needed to. Just in case. 

Kaa-san had been given a rest period between missions as well, and was more than kind enough to help me prepare for the date. I figured the easiest thing to do was a picnic. Sasuke and I had found a great spot on one of our walks together and hey, everyone likes a picnic right? Right?

Kaa-san hummed softly as she turned over the tiny hamburger patties she was making. I didn’t trust myself with any of the real cooking just yet, so she had me forming rice balls. It was a fairly menial task. And menial labor always seemed to make me think about things.

“Kaa-san?”

“Hmmm?”

I paused in my rice handling. “It’s…it’s okay that I like both of them right? Kakashi and Iruka? I mean. I know it’s okay, philosophically or whatever. But…are you okay with it?”

Kaa-san smiled and kept her eyes on the meat in the skillet as she spoke. “Honestly, my opinion doesn’t really matter…”

“It does to me,” I murmured under my breath.

She gave a short, patient laugh at that. “The life of the shinobi is usually short and miserable. One must take advantage of the happiness they have. If being with both of them makes you happy, then who I am to tell you no? Besides, you can’t always be the one piecing together broken people. You need someone to piece you back together when you break too. Iruka would be good for that.”

“What about Kakashi?” I asked.

She hummed thoughtfully. “He needs you much more than you need him. But he’s a good man. He lost everyone he held dear to him. For a long time he just kept going because he hadn’t died yet. I think…you and those students of his might give him a new reason to keep going.

“I guess the best way of putting it is that the three of you will balance each other well.”

I had no words for that. What could I say? I turned to stare at the windowsill, watching the sunlight dance across the wood. 

“Don’t stop working the rice, dear, or it’ll stick to your hands,” kaa-san warned with a chuckle. 

 

I stood in front of the compound gate, fidgeting nervously with the picnic blanket thrown over my arm. The cool breeze tickled at my legs (Ryou and Mai had helped me pick out my outfit for the date and insisted on me emphasizing my legs that they said ‘went on for miles’). Autumn was finally starting to set in. The tree out front of the house had turned a brilliant orange-gold in the recent days. It seemed not so long ago that the summer heat had beat down on me just as hard as tou-san and kaa-san had while I was training for the chunin exams. 

I shifted nervously from one foot to the other, peeking into the picnic basket once again to make sure everything was there. I still had ten minutes before the appointed time Kakashi and Iruka were supposed to be here. God, maybe I should have just waited inside and chatted with kaa-san or played a quick game of bullshit with the boys (Naruto had become particularly fond of the game after I taught it to him and he was frustratingly good at it). At least then I would have something to occupy myself with. There wasn’t a lot of foot traffic around here, so every time I thought I heard foot steps I’d look up expectantly only to see a mother and child or an elderly couple meandering down the road. 

I checked the basket again.

“Kourubi?”

I nearly jumped out of my skin when Iruka called my name. I may or may not have squeaked. I turned to him, my face probably a terrible shade of red. Great way to start a date, girlie. At least Iruka looked embarrassed as well. 

“Sorry, did I scare you?”

I shook my head. “No! I mean, kind of? I just…never mind! I’m glad you’re here!”

Iruka rubbed nervously at the scar on his nose. “Am I late?”

“No, you’re actually a few minutes early,” I assured him. “We’re just waiting on Kakashi.”

Two minutes before the clock struck one, Kakashi appeared. He grinned nonchalantly at us and raised his hand in greeting.

“Sorry I’m late, I got lost on the path of life.”

I smiled knowingly at him. “Oh, you’re not late! Actually, you’re two whole minutes early! A record for you, I’m sure.”

Kakashi’s dopey smile fell quickly into a dumbfounded stare. “What?”

My smile morphed into a sly smirk. “I’ve heard plenty of stories from your sweet little ducklings about your nasty habit, Kakashi-sensei. So I just told you to show up three hours before you needed too. Just in case.” 

Kakashi looked mildly impressed. Had no one actually thought of pulling that trick with him? “Clever girl. But what would you have done if I’d shown up when you told me to?”

“Been really happy,” I said with my best disarming smile. I turned to point up the road, ignoring Kakashi’s tiny, pained noise. “C’mon! I found this great spot when I was out of a walk with Sasuke. We’ll have our picnic there.”

I led them up the hill towards the outer wall of the village. Our spot would be just beyond the village proper. Iruka wanted to help me carry the basket. Or the blanket. Anything really, he just didn’t like the fact I was the one playing pack mule. I insisted it was fine, if I could carry Sasuke back to the village with a wounded arm, I was perfectly capable of carrying a picnic basket that didn’t even weigh a fourth of what Sasuke did. Kakashi ended up ninja-ing it out of my hands anyway. Stupid jonin.

We passed through a minor village gate, and I immediately turned to the left, where a series of steps led up a hill. I took them two at a time, eager to get to the top. The hilltop was positively covered in flowers of all shapes and sizes and colors. Short, stone walls separated the walking path from the flower fields, making it obvious the flowers were there for a reason.

Iruka let out a surprised laugh. “What is this?”

I gazed out over the flowers, a fond smile on my face. “These are the Yamanaka’s flower fields. Gotta get their flowers from somewhere I suppose. Sasuke and I ran into Inoichi-san up here one day while on a walk.”

“I can’t imagine Inoichi would let people take picnics in his flowers,” Kakashi muttered.

I laughed. “We’re not gonna sit in the flowers! We’re going to sit over there.” I pointed just a little farther down the path where a giant Japanese maple tree stood just across the path from the flowers. The deep red leaves created a large shady spot beneath the branches, perfect for having a picnic under. 

I trotted up to the tree, spreading the picnic blanket out underneath it. I then turned to Kakashi, holding out a hand for the picnic basket he’d stolen from me earlier. He handed it over readily, slipping off his shoes as he moved to sit on the red-checkered blanket. Iruka and I did the same, and I had to carefully position myself so the feathered tails of my minty green shirt didn’t get crushed. I settled the basket into my lap, opening it and pulling out several bentos that I knew to be full of all kinds of goodies. One had the small hamburger patties kaa-san had made on top of a bed of rice. Another had vegetable tempura, and yet another held the rice balls I’d made. I pulled out a tall canteen of chilled black tea. There was still the box of cookies in the basket, but I could pull that out later.

Now that I’d broken out the food, the conversation had become much more lively. Iruka mentioned how Konohamaru, Moegi, and Udon had been asking him about me. I told the two of them about Sasuke and Naruto’s visit to Ryou’s home and how much they’d enjoyed the cats. Kakashi talked a little about the missions he’d been going on recently. I listened intently between sips of tea and bites of food. Kakashi’s voice was deep and soothing. Given the right context, he’d probably be able to lull me right to sleep. Iruka’s was bright and warm, which was probably the best kind of voice for a teacher. It’d keep me awake, anyway. 

There was a brief lull in conversation and Kakashi let out a sigh.

“I suppose now’s as good a time as any,” he said. His gaze turned to me, his expression suddenly uncomfortably serious. “What exactly are you wanting from us?”

“Kakashi-san!” Iruka hissed in warning.

“No, it’s alright,” I soothed. “It’s probably better if we get this sort of talk out of the way now so there’s no misunderstanding going forward.” I took a deep breath as I tried to gather my thoughts. “I like both of you. A lot. And if I don’t have to choose between the two of you, I’d don’t think I should. I think I’m perfectly capable of being in a relationship with both of you. But, if either of you aren’t comfortable with that kind of relationship, then that’s fine. I’d rather be with neither of you than try to force either of you into a situation you’re not comfortable one with.”

“So if you couldn’t have both of us…you’d have neither? You wouldn’t choose?” Iruka asked.

My gaze drifted from Kakashi to Iruka and then down to the cup of tea in my hands. “I don’t think I could choose. I like you both equally.”

Iruka and Kakashi shared a quick look. I braced myself for disappointment. 

“Well,” Kakashi drawled, “I don’t have an issue with it.”

My head shot up, my lips pressed into a thin line. Was…was this really happening?

Iruka rubbed at his scar. “I could give it a shot.”

I could feel the tears tickling the corners of my eyes. I just felt so relieved. I hadn’t thought anything would come of the flirting. I hadn’t expected them to want to be with me. I’d been hopeful, sure, but it’d kept that hope on a short leash. Two warm arms wrapped around me, pulling my head to rest on someone’s shoulder.

“C’mon now, don’t cry.” It was Iruka.

“S-sorry,” I stuttered, sniffling. “I just…I didn’t want to get my hopes up. But I…I’m just really happy right now. God, that sounds so stupid when I say it out loud.”

Iruka laughed softly and I felt a cool hand brush against my cheek to whip away my tears. My gaze rose from Iruka’s shoulder to meet Kakashi’s eye. The fondness I’d seen that night on my balcony was back. For once, I didn’t feel butterflies. I just felt…calm. Like this was how things were supposed to be.

The walk back to the compound was quiet, but it was a comfortable quiet. One of my arms was linked tightly with Iruka’s. My other hand was held loosely in Kakashi’s. I felt like I was walking on air, or some other cliché that I couldn’t be bothered to think of. We stopped just in front of my front door. Kakashi set the picnic basket down by my feet and Iruka laid the folded blanket over it. I turned to face them.

“So…” I could feel Kakashi smirking under his mask. “Are we going to get those kisses now?”

Iruka’s eyes went wide. “W-what are you talking about?”

Kakashi’s eye crinkled with amusement, but he didn’t say anything else. Obviously he was waiting for my reaction.

“Well, I guess the only question is who do I kiss first?” I looked back and forth between the two men. Kakashi looked far too eager for his own good. “Well, since I’ve already given Kakashi a kiss, it’s only fair that Iruka goes first.”

Iruka blinked in confusion as Kakashi insisted that ‘that didn’t count’. I smiled at Iruka. “This dummy came sneaking around the house the first night after we brought Sasuke back. He was being all mopey so I applied the tried and true Kourubi method.”

“And what might that be?” Iruka asked jokingly. 

“Hugs and kisses,” I said. “Works every time.”

Iruka chuckled. “I’m sure.”

I slipped towards him, a coy smile on my lips and my hands clasped behind my back. “You wanna try it?”

Iruka’s nervous smile was adorable as he leaned forward just a little so I wouldn’t have to stand entirely on my toes to meet him. His lips were chapped, just a little. I felt his hand slip down my arm to hold onto mine. My other hand rose to grip his shoulder. The kiss was chaste, as I assumed a first kiss should be. I felt a giddiness bubble up in my chest when Iruka’s lips chased after mine when I stepped back. I cleared my throat nervously, a heat spreading across my cheeks. 

I kept a hold of Iruka’s hand as I turned to a mildly grumpy looking Kakashi. “Alright, your turn, you big baby.” 

I stood on my toes; pressing my lips against his cloth covered ones. It was a strange sensation. I couldn’t tell if his lips were chapped or soft, if they were full or thin. But I didn’t want him to feel like he was required to remove his mask around me. I would wait as long as it took for him to feel comfortable enough around me to show me his face. The wait just made the whole thing feel more exciting. His fingers slipped into my hair, combing gently through it. He was the one to pull back first. I could tell he was smiling.

“That definitely didn’t count.” 

I froze at the sound of a loud wolf whistle from above us. I turned, dropping Iruka’s hand, and caught Sasuke pulling Naruto back through the open window of his bedroom. My hands went to my hips in what Mai would often call my ‘angry mom’ stance.

“Think you’re sneaky, huh? Well, looks like kaa-san will be super excited to hear that you want to join her for her morning work out!”

I grinned wickedly at Naruto’s loud and desperate pleads for mercy. I turned to look over my shoulder at my…boyfriends? I guess we were all official and shit. Calling them my boyfriends felt…weird. Something I’d have to get used to.

“If you fine gentlemen will excuse me,” I drawled. “I have some baby brothers to tickle into submission.”

 

I knew something was wrong the moment I opened my eyes. The house was too quiet. Too cold. It lacked the usual warmth I’d gotten used to over the past few months.

Naruto wasn’t here. 

I dressed quickly, pausing to grab a small trinket off my chest of drawers on my way out the door. I descended the stairs slowly. The late morning sunshine shown through the windows, but the whole space felt dark. I turned to gaze into the open audience room. Tou-san and kaa-san sat upon the tatami mats, gazing silently out onto the yellowing grass of the garden. I stood just beyond the doorway.

“Where are Naruto and Sasuke?” I asked, my voice sounding weak.

Kaa-san kept her gaze steadily on the garden. “Sasuke-kun went out to train with Kakashi-san. Naruto-kun…didn’t want to wake you…you were sleeping so p-peacefully.”

My eyes narrowed and I glared at the floor. “So he thought he’d just leave without saying goodbye?”

“Sometimes that’s easier,” tou-san admitted. 

“We’re shinobi,” I reminded them, already turning to leave. “If we wanted things to be easy, we’d have chosen a different profession.”

I wandered through the village, unsure if Naruto was even still there. My steps came faster and faster. I sprinted through the village, ignoring shouts of my name from the friends I passed, towards the main gate. If I could catch Naruto anywhere, it’d be there. 

I could see them. They were just about to pass through the gate. I shouted for Naruto, called his name. He turned, his eyes widening impossibly when he caught sight of me. I threw my arms around when I finally caught him, pulling him close, squeezing him too tight. 

I pulled back, holding him at arms length, and shouted, “How dare you try to leave without saying goodbye!”

“Nee-chan…” It hurt to see Naruto cower. His voice, his stature, all of it seemed terribly small in that moment. I rained in my feelings of hurt and sorrow and betrayal. 

I smiled at him. “Close your eyes and hold out your hand. I have a surprise for you.”

Naruto looked like he was going to say something, but instead he did as he was told. His big blue eyes slid shut and he held out his right hand, palm up. I reached into my pocket, taking out the small trinket I’d picked up before leaving the house. His brows furrowed in confusion as I slipped it on his wrist.

“Go on, open your eyes.”

Naruto’s eyes fluttered open and he stared down at his wrist…at the small, simple golden band I’d slipped on him. The fingers of his left hand rose to brush against the black, ceramic bead that’d been carved into the shape of a feather.

“Tou-san helped me make it,” I explained softly. “It’s nothing compared to the First Hokage’s necklace but…I hope it will remind you that you always have a home to return to. You’re family, baby brother. I want you to remember that.”

Tears spilled over onto Naruto’s cheeks. He fell into me, wrapping his small arms about my waist. His shaking hands gripped my shirt. I pressed my nose into his sunshiny hair, closing my eyes tight against the tears that wanted to fall.

“I love you, Sunshine.”

He pulled away, sniffing loudly and scrubbing at his cheeks. “When I get back, I’ll be the strongest ninja around! Strong enough to protect you and Sasuke and Sakura and Ryou and the cats and…and everyone!”

I smiled thinly. “I know.”

He nodded solemnly and turned back to Jiraiya, who observed it all silently. Naruto fell into step beside his mentor and passed through the gate. 

They had just faded from view when the levies broke and the tears spilled unbidden from my eyes. I clutched at my chest like that could stop the sobs. 

Please don’t take my sunshine away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you go, I wanna show off this amazing commission [prinzik](http://prinzik.tumblr.com/) did for me of Kourubi and her baes. I was super excited that it got finished before this chapter was posted. [Check it out here!](http://thegreatestofgames.tumblr.com/post/148052972629/prinzik-commission-for-thegreatestofgames) Check out her tumblr and send her some love, just click her name above! Also, if you guys have anything Kourubi related you'd like to share with me, give me a shout at my tumblr [ thegreatestofgames!](http://thegreatestofgames.tumblr.com/) Alright, bye bye for now!


	12. In Which Fighting and Flirting are Kind of the Same Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'm back again with another chapter. I'm slowly but steadily working my way through that three year gap before I have canon to work off of again, but don't worry. I have plenty of plans for Kourubi and the gang before the canon kicks in. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one! I'll see you in the comments!

The sky outside my window was a dark, cloudy grey, looking like it was just about to rain. I wrapped myself tighter in my soft quilt. I didn’t want to leave my bed. Hadn’t since Naruto left. It was like every thing warm and good left with him, including my motivation. I sighed and burrowed further into my quilt, closing my eyes. 

I could hear voices in the hallway outside my room. Their conversation was muffled, but one of the voices, it might have been Sasuke’s, sounded frustrated and even a little angry. I kept my eyes closed as the door opened. A heavy weight landed not so gently on me and I let out a groan.

“Sasuke wasn’t kidding when he said you were moping.” Ryou’s vaguely amazed voice filled my ears. “Seriously, do I need to get your new baes over here to use the healing power of cock on you.”

“Get off, Ryou,” I grumbled. “And no, I don’t want you to try and convince Iruka and Kakashi that they need to sex me better.”

“You never appreciate the things I do for you,” Ryou pouted, rolling off me but remaining on the bed. 

Mai wandered around to the other side of the bed, blocking my view of the sky through the glass doors out onto my balcony. I couldn’t bring myself to meet her eyes. There was too much concern in her eyes. Mai, who so very rarely was concerned about anything, stared at me like she was scared I was going to crumble away at any moment. She settled next to me on the bed, lying on her side to face me. 

“Seriously, why did this hit you so hard?” she asked. 

I scooted forward enough to rest my forehead against her shoulder. It was both a comfort and a way to avoid looking in her pale coffee eyes. Her hand came up to pet at my hair. I could feel Ryou press up against my back. 

“Honestly…I don’t know. I knew it was coming, and it’s not like he’ll be gone forever.” I sighed again. “I don’t know.”

“It’s okay that you don’t know,” Mai soothed. “Sometimes feelings are hard to understand. But that doesn’t mean you can wallow about forever.”

“You wanna know what makes me feel better?” Ryou asked excitedly.

I scowled. “I swear to god, if you say ‘sex’ I’m going to kick you out.”

Mai laughed from deep in her belly. “It’s okay, Kourubi. Ryou just talks about sex so he doesn’t have to talk about his feelings.”

“Hey, save your weird psycho-analysis of me for another day,” Ryou chided, smacking at Mai over me. “Today is about Kourubi.”

“I’ll psycho-analyze you all I want, you noodle!” Mai snapped playfully, reaching around me to retaliate.

“Stop! No fighting during cuddle time!” I warned.

Ryou whined right in my ear. “But she started it.”

“I don’t care! If you can’t get along, I’ll have to find better cuddle buddies!”

Ryou and Mai squeezed me tightly. Ryou sniffled dramatically. “No, baby! We love you.”

“Then quit it. I don’t have the energy to deal with you two right now.”

Mai and Ryou eventually settled, wrapping themselves so completely around me that I couldn’t really move. Hearing soft footsteps wandering around my bed, I lifted my head to see Sasuke staring down at me. Despite the fact he was obviously trying to appear apathetic or pissy, I could tell he was concerned. I smiled softly at him, watching his body relax when I did.

“Thanks, baby brother.”

 

“It’s good to see you out and about,” Iruka said. “Sasuke told me you’d been feeling unwell.”

He squeezed my hand a little tighter. I leaned a little closer to him as we walked. This had become something of a habit for us, our little walks around the village. He’d pass by the compound while out on errands and would ask if I wanted to come along. Though, I was starting to think he’d go out of his way to come by the compound. It wasn’t really near any of the major shopping streets. But if he wanted to insist he ‘just happen to be passing by’ I was more than happy to let him. 

“Yeah, I’m feeling better now,” I replied. “Sorry for worrying you.”

I could feel his eyes on me. Even without looking I knew he was wearing that soft, concerned expression, the same one he’d worn that first time we’d met after the second exam. 

“I know you’re used to being the person taking care of others,” Iruka murmured, “but that doesn’t mean you have to shoulder your worries on your own. Let others take care of you every so often.”

I gave a huff of amusement. “Kaa-san was right.”

“Hmm?”

“I asked her if she was okay with me being with both you and Kakashi,” I explained. “She said something about how you’d be good at piecing me back together when I break. I’m not sure I’d call what I did ‘breaking’ but…you get the idea.”

Another quick squeeze of his hand told me he did. 

 

Sasuke and I sat before my mother and father. Their firm expressions worried me somewhat. This was starting to become a habit with us lately, just like my habit of ending up in hospitals whether I was injured or not. 

“So, what’s the surprise this time?” I asked casually, hoping to break the grim silence. 

Tou-san chuckled and looked to kaa-san, who smiled. “Looks like she’s caught onto us, Ruki.”

“So it seems,” kaa-san agreed. “Well, might as well get on with it. No use leaving them guessing.” She turned to the open garden. “Kiku-sama! Shida!” 

I laughed heartily at Sasuke’s stunned expression when he saw Kiku-sama touch down in the garden. I’d almost forgotten he’d never really seen tou-san’s giant raven (well, ‘giant’ might be a bit of a stretch. Kiku-sama wasn’t nearly as huge as Gamabunta, but he was as big as a large dog). Tou-san didn’t often call on Kiku-sama when he wasn’t on missions and the raven kept to himself more often than not. Shida, kaa-san’s magpie, fluttered into the room with a pair of short, wooden tanto in his talons. He dropped them into kaa-san’s hands and landed delicately on her shoulder. Kiku-sama’s claws clicked on the wood of the engawa as he walked towards my father, two larger bokken in his beak. He set them gently before my father before settling by his side. I suddenly missed Mori and Gan. 

Kaa-san and tou-san each set one of the wooden swords before us. It was impossible for me to miss the fact that someone had carved the Uchiha crest into Sasuke’s swords. My eyes flickered from the gorgeous cherry-stained wood before me to my mother and father. 

“We decided it was about time you learned the Karasuno kenjutsu,” tou-san explained.

“But I’m not…” Tou-san held up a hand as Sasuke began to protest.

“Kourubi-chan has made it very clear that you are just as much part of this family as anyone else here,” tou-san said calmly. “It would not do for a parent to teach their family’s traditions to only one of their children.”

Sasuke tried to hide the way his body trembled by clenching his hands into fists atop his thighs. His head shot up at my gentle touch on his shoulder. 

“Don’t be so surprised, baby brother,” I teased gently. “You’ve already signed our summoning contract. I’d be surprised if they didn’t want to teach you our kenjutsu.”

Sasuke nodded, though his face still looked unsure. I supposed I couldn’t blame him for being resistant to the idea of being part of a different family than the one he grew up with, the one he’d dedicated his life to avenging. Still, he didn’t protest too heavily against learning kenjutsu. It wasn’t something Itachi seemed to employ very much, so knowing it would give Sasuke something of an advantage. 

As my parents explained it, there were four forms of the Karasuno kenjutsu: long blade, short blade, twin blade, and dual blade. Long blade, understandably enough, was a single sword style that used the longer of the two swords, usually a tachi or katana. It relied heavily on powerful strikes, using as few hits as possible to cause maximum damage. The short blade style was the complete opposite. The purpose was to use every given opportunity to strike the opponent, creating many smaller wounds that would eventually bleed the enemy dry. Twin blade, which my mother had apparently mastered, used two tanto and was designed for assassination. (I was starting to wonder if my mother had ever been a hunter nin or member of ANBU) Dual blade used both the longer katana and the tanto. The key to this style, according to tou-san, was speed. The ability to block and strike simultaneously, to use both blades with grace and speed, was necessary in order to master the dual blade style. Neither of my parents had mastered dual blade yet. 

We would begin with learning the long blade style, as the person who’d pioneered it had structured it around sixty katas: thirty offensive and thirty defensive. These katas were designed to be practiced against each other; the first offensive kata was countered by the first defensive kata. As such, the long blade form was the easiest to teach. Once we were competent at all sixty katas, tou-san and kaa-san would begin working on the other forms with us. But to start, Sasuke and I were set against each other, going over the first ten offensive and defensive katas. It was exhausting as it was boring, which is to say VERY. Every time the person on the offensive landed a hit on the person practicing defense, we’d have to start from the top. Over and over again, until my shoulders were burning and my knees were shaking. Only when we’d performed each set of katas perfectly did kaa-san allow us to stop for the day. 

I collapsed on the engawa, panting heavily. I grinned as Sasuke sat next to me, obviously just as tired as I was. “Well, twenty katas down, forty more to go.”

Sasuke groaned. 

 

Instead of moving on to the next set of katas, kaa-san and tou-san had us practicing the same set of katas for a week. It was boring and repetitive, and because of that it was even more exhausting than it would have been otherwise. Even Sasuke, who was always up for training, was starting to dread the whole enterprise. 

The cool autumn breeze ruffled my hair as I blocked Sasuke’s strike. He was on the offensive today (which he very obviously preferred to being on the defensive). I noticed absentmindedly that his hair had gotten longer. If it kept growing at this rate, he’d probably be able to wear feathers like I did soon. 

“So you finally got around to teaching them kenjutsu.” A familiar voice broke my concentration. I turned to see Kakashi standing on the engawa beside my mother, looking on with mild amusement.

“Kakashi!” I greeted cheerfully. A cracking sound and a sharp pain ran through my skull as Sasuke landed a blow that, had I’d been paying attention, I should have blocked. I turned on him, glaring angrily. “Motherfucker!” 

“Language, Kourubi-chan!” kaa-san chastised. 

“I’m nineteen years old and clan head, kaa-san! Let me say fuck!”

A deep, rumbling laugh escaped from Kakashi. Kaa-san glared at him out of the corner of her eye. “Don’t encourage her, Kakashi-san.”

“Hmmm, too late,” Kakashi said with another chuckle. His gaze turned back to me. “You know, as nice as it is to practice katas, they won’t help you against an opponent who doesn’t use Karasuno style.”

My eyes narrowed appraisingly at him. “How about a spar, then? I assume you know how to use a sword.”

Kakashi stepped down from the engawa, hands deep in his pockets. “Yes, though I must admit it’s been a while.”

“You might be just about my level, then,” I joked. Sasuke passed over his bokken with a frown and wandered over to join my mother on the engawa. Kakashi swung the wooden sword about, testing its weight. He hummed thoughtfully and shifted into a ready stance.

“Ready?” he asked.

I lifted my arms up in front of me, sword at the ready. “Ready.”

Kakashi struck first, swinging his blade downwards. I threw my weapon up to block him. At the last moment, he changed the direction of his strike, hitting my arm. I winced. Obviously he was holding back. If he wanted, he could hit me hard enough to break bones. As it was, he only hit hard enough to hurt, to bruise. I scowled and spun away, twirling around him to strike at his back. His arms reached around to block me, his torso twisting just enough so he didn’t over extend his arms. He turned completely and swung upwards, striking me just under my ribs.

“That one would have killed you,” he warned. 

I growled and attempted to stab at his chest, but he knocked that strike aside as well. So much for him being rusty. There was no way I could match him with a blade…but I knew something I might be able to hold my own at.

I tossed my sword behind me, watching the surprise flicker in Kakashi’s eye. I ducked under his arms, striking at the inside of his elbows to shove them apart. I quickly wrapped around the arm that still held the blade, lifting it up at a painful angle. He dropped his weapon. 

“I think you’ve forgotten the purpose of the exercise,” Kakashi muttered as he slipped from my grip. 

“Just following the chunin motto,” I joked. “How’s it go? ‘If you lack earth, run in the fields, seek advantages’?”

Kakashi chuckled, his whole body language changing. With the sword in his hand, his posture had been stiff, like he’d simply been going through the motions. Now, it was loose, his movements fluid and graceful. I didn’t fully understand the shift until his first blow. What was obviously meant to be a palm heel strike to my jaw turned into a caress against my cheek. My eyes widened and I could feel the heat crawling up my neck. Kakashi’s face remained impassive. Well then, two could play this game! I slipped out of his reach, stretching up to grasp the back of his head to push him down to meet my knee. My nails scratched gently against his scalp and I could see the spark in Kakashi’s eye when he realized I was playing along. 

We danced around each other, trading blows and teasing touches. As I spun, I caught a brief glance at kaa-san and Sasuke on the engawa. My mother looked terribly amused by us, hiding her smile behind a deceptively delicate hand. Sasuke was scowling, his dark eyes glaring at us. No, not at me. At Kakashi. I wondered what angered him the most: the fighting or the flirting. 

Easily catching the open palm I thrust his way, Kakashi pulled me back against him. He held my arms crossed in front of me, effectively trapping me. I let my head rest against his shoulder, pouting at him. 

He gave a slightly breathless chuckle against my ear. “I win.”

Not about to let him win so easily, I grinned at him. “You think so?”

Before he could react, I ground my ass against his hips. A surprised groan left his mouth and I took the opportunity to wrap one of my legs around his and shove backwards. Unable to keep balance, the two of us fell. His arms loosened around me as he hit the ground and I rolled off him and jumped to my feet. 

“You know, for a guy who reads porn everywhere he goes, you’re pretty weak to attacks of a more…sensual nature.”

Kakashi glared up at me. “That was not fair.”

I snorted. “Who told you ninja play fair?” 

I reached out to help him to his feet, only to find myself pinned to the ground with Kakashi looming over me. I felt panic wash over me for a brief moment before realizing that he was smiling.

“You’re right,” he teased. “Ninja don’t play fair.” 

“Rude.”

He chuckled and pressed a quick kiss to my cheek. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get used to kissing him through his mask. But then again, that was only the second time. He stood, pulling me up with him. He tugged a little too hard and I fell into his chest. Probably did that on purpose. 

Kaa-san coughed in an attempt to hide her amused giggling. “As much as I’m sure my daughter appreciates you coming in to break up the monotony, we really should get back to training, Kakashi-san.”

I sighed. “Do I have to?”

I scrambled to catch my bokken as Sasuke tossed it at me, a dark look on his face. “Yes, you do. C’mon. I want to have this mastered before I’m as old as Kakashi.”

Kakashi huffed. “I’m not that old.”

I giggled and stood briefly on my tiptoes to give him a quick peck on the lips. I guess I could get used to kissing him through his mask after all.

 

It wasn’t often I got called into the Hokage’s office at 7-something in the morning. Actually, I’d never been called into the Hokage’s office at any time, morning or night. I yawned loudly, Shikamaru echoing me to my right. Ryou swayed slightly on his feet. Why the fuck was I here?

Tsunade glared at the three of us. Oh yeah, she’s why.

“Look alive, brats,” she said loudly, slapping her hand down on her desk and making all three of us jump. “I’ve got a mission for the three of you.”


	13. In Which Everything Starts Off So Well

I stared at Tsunade, unsure if I’d heard her correctly.

“You’re sending the three of us on a mission?” I asked.

Tsunade nodded. “Not together, but yes. Shikamaru has already led a mission, but you and Ryou have not. Part of a chunin’s job is to lead squads on lower ranked missions. You and Ryou haven’t been on missions at all since you became chunin, something I can’t overlook anymore.”

“To be fair, Tsunade-sama, the hospital has kept me busy,” Ryou reminded sleepily, rubbing at his neck. 

“Even medical ninja need leadership experience,” Tsunade chided. “Now, the three of you will be leading separate C-ranked courier missions to Taki, Ame, and Kusa. I have documents that need to be delivered. Shouldn’t take you more than a week to complete and I doubt you’ll run into anything more troubling than bandits. Take two genin of your choice with you. Report back here tomorrow to receive the goods you’ll be delivering and your assigned villages.”

Any two genin of our choice? Well, Shikamaru would obviously be taking Ino and Chouji with him. I doubted Sasuke would let me leave without him. But who else?

Ryou turned to me with a shit-eating grin on his face. “I call Mai!”

“MotherFUCKER!”

 

“A mission?” Sasuke queried, lowering his practice sword to look at me. 

I nodded. “Tsunade-sama said I could take any two genin with me as my team. Figured you’d be pissed if I didn’t bring you with me.”

He smirked. “Would you really have gone without me?”

“Probably not,” I admitted. “It’s a courier mission. We’ll be gone for a week at most.”

“Where to?”

“Either Kusa, Ame, or Taki, I’m not sure yet. Ryou and Shikamaru are leading similar missions. Any preferences on who you want to tag along? I still need to pick my second genin.”

Sasuke paused a moment to think before answering. “Sakura.”

I couldn’t help but be a little surprised. Sasuke used to complain about how Sakura held him back all the time. Perhaps he’d been listening to Ryou describe the fruits of Sakura’s labors under Tsunade’s tutelage. Sakura’s excellent chakra control allowed her to both shatter and mend bones. 

“I would, baby brother, but Ryou already enlisted her.”

Sasuke scowled. “Then I don’t care.”

I shrugged. “Alright, but you’re not allowed to complain about my choice.”

 

I wandered about the village, buying up supplies tou-san had recommended and thinking on who I should bring along on the mission. I thought back to the mission to rescue Sasuke. Under Shikamaru’s leadership, I’d been able to work well with all of the boys. Of course I worked well with Naruto, but Naruto wasn’t here or I’d bring him along without a second thought. Chouji was out of the question; Shikamaru would never go on a mission without him if he had the choice. Neji would be a smart choice. He was strong, levelheaded, and worked well under pressure. But I doubted I could handle both him and Sasuke at the same time. Their attitudes were too similar, especially their pride. Besides, taking both a Hyuuga and the last Uchiha out of the village at the same time was just asking for trouble. 

I found myself in front of the main Inuzuka house. I reached out and knocked on the door, shifting the bag on my shoulder. I stepped back as the door opened to reveal Kiba, looking like he just got out of bed despite the fact it was almost noon by that point. 

“Hey, it’s Kourubi,” he grumbled, rubbing at his eye sleepily. “What’s up?”

“Just wondering if you’d like to go on a mission with me tomorrow,” I said casually, grinning as Kiba immediately became more alert.

“A mission? What kinda mission?”

“Just a simple courier mission,” I told him. “Tsunade-sama will be giving us the rest of the details tomorrow morning. You interested?”

Kiba cheered. “Hell yeah! I haven’t been out of the village since the whole Sasuke fiasco and I’m going freaking stir crazy!”

“Good! Get yourself ready and report to the Hokage tower tomorrow bright and early. We’ll be gone for a week, so don’t skimp out on your gear. See you ‘round, Kiba.”

 

Supply pouch tightly packed with sealing scrolls full of camping gear and rations, small vials of medicine stacked on top of each other, and more shuriken than I could shake a stick at, I stood in the house entrance way early the next morning. I fiddled with my arm guards, gifts from my mother, as I waited for Sasuke to come down the stairs. I turned at the sound of footsteps. Sasuke descended the stairs, dressed in the new clothes mother had commissioned for him from a close cousin of mine who was a tailor. His shirt was a similar dark blue to the one he’d worn when we’d first met, its high, tight collar matching mine. A small Uchiha crest adorned the left side of his collar, a proud declaration of his heritage, but far subtler then what he used to wear. His tunic was longer in the back, splitting into two tails like the tunics my father wore. He wore guards like mine on his otherwise bare arms. His pants were long and black, tucking easily into the tall shinobi sandals he’d purchased a few days ago. 

“You look great, baby brother,” I praised, pressing a quick kiss to his bare forehead. Where was his headband? “Has kaa-san seen you yet? I have a feeling she might get a little misty eyed.” 

“Not yet,” Sasuke muttered. He reached up to tie his headband around his neck. I blinked in confusion. This was new. I could still see his clan crest just over the dark blue fabric. 

“Why are you wearing your headband like that?” 

He turned away, his cheeks dusted with pink. “Just felt like it, is all.”

I frowned, but said nothing more. Tou-san and kaa-san came to stand at the edge of the entryway, my mother giving a tiny gasp at the sight of Sasuke in his new clothes. The flush on his cheeks grew darker at her happy smile. 

“One last thing before you go.” Tou-san pulled two swords from behind his back. They were unremarkable in both make and design, the only thing of note being the small Uchiha crest carved into the wooden grip of Sasuke’s katana. “Think of these as apprentices’ swords. As you grow as kenjutsu practitioners, your swords will grow with you. These swords are tools, the ones you will eventually receive as you master our kenjutsu will eventually become part of who you are. But for now, these weapons will serve you fine.”

I gave my father a short bow of gratitude. My sword came to rest across my hips behind me at a slight angle, the belt loose so I could pull at both the sheath and the grip to quickly draw my blade. Sasuke fixed his sword to drape across his back, like a member of the ANBU would wear their sword. I felt my face grow warm at my mother’s tiny, delighted claps. 

“Good luck,” she murmured, pressing a kiss to our cheeks in turn. “Be safe.”

“You chose him?”

Sasuke’s arms were crossed tight over his chest as he glared out of the corner of his eye at Kiba and Akamaru. Kiba didn’t look entirely pleased to be coming along anymore now that he knew Sasuke would be his squadmate.

“Kiba knows the Land of Fire like the back of his hand,” I explained. “No matter which village we’ll be heading towards, likelihood is he’ll know the fastest route there. Besides, we worked well together on our last mission together. Wouldn’t you say, Kiba?”

Kiba shrugged. “I guess.”

I sighed heavily. This was a bad idea. Ryou snickered beside me. Lucky bastard snatched up Sakura and Mai and would probably have the whole mission done in like, three days. Ugh. 

Tsunade entered from a side door and the nine of us quickly fell into attention. She gave our choices in squads a brief once over, pausing ever so slightly to raise a questioning brow in my direction (and didn’t that just make me feel fantastic). She picked up a small sheet of paper from her desk.

“Right, I assume your squad leaders have gone over mission parameters with you, so I won’t bother saying them again,” Tsunade said. “If they haven’t, then complain to them after you’ve left my office ‘cause I don’t want to hear it. Shikamaru! You and your squad will be going to Amegakure. Ryou, take your squad to Takigakure. Kourubi, you and your squad will be headed to Kusakagure.” As our names were called, each of us chunin stepped forward to receive a nondescript scroll. I immediately tucked mine into my supply pouch, hiding it under the rest of my gear. 

“Now get out my office and go do your jobs.”

 

“Alright, listen up. This is how we’re gonna do this.”

We stood just outside the village’s main gate. Izumo and Kotetsu looked on from the guard station with mild interest. Sasuke and Kiba kept their attention on me. Akamaru…not so much. He was too busy watching Tsutsuji, Mori, and Gan circle overhead. 

“Kiba will be leading the way, I assume you know the best route to Kusa, right?” I waited for a nod of confirmation before continuing on. “Good, then we’ll follow your lead. Sasuke and I will be right behind you, I’ll be on the right and Sasuke on the left in a triangular formation. We’ll take it easy today, no need to tire ourselves out on the first day.”

We kept to the forest floor rather than expend the energy necessary to get to the tree branches. The birds would fly ahead to scout out the pathway, then rest on a branch and wait for us to catch up. There wasn’t a great deal of underbrush, which made sense considering the tall canopy, but when sunlight did manage to reach the ground, bushes and flowers soaked it up and grew beautifully. Moss and mushroom covered fallen branches were a common sight. I liked these forests much better than the one Anko had thrown us in. 

We took a short break for lunch, munching on ration bars that reminded me of the protein bars I used to eat in college as I was rushing out the door for class at nine in the morning. Sasuke seemed perfectly content to eat in silence, but Kiba seemed insistent on talking with him. He asked him questions in low, hushed tones, glancing over at me with a mischievous looking grin. Sasuke’s cheeks flushed red as Kiba continued to whisper conspiratorially to him.

“The hell are you two doing?” I finally asked.

“Nothin’!” Kiba insisted, though his grin told me that it was anything but ‘nothing’. 

“Whatever, I probably don’t wanna know anyway,” I grumbled, standing from my seat on a tree root. “Alright, time to take to the trees. I want to be within spitting distance of the border by the time we make camp.”

“I thought you said we were gonna take it easy today!” Kiba argued.

“We are. If we were taking it hard, we’d already be at the border. C’mon.”

We leapt through the trees, autumn colors blurring past in a kaleidoscope of red and gold. I took the lead this time, following the path Kiba had pointed out on the map while we rested. Pretty much every path was a straight shot when you didn’t have to follow the roads. 

I could hear Kiba muttering again behind me. I turned my ear towards him, trying to make out what he was saying to Sasuke. He had to speak louder now that we were moving. 

“So, seriously, what kind of guy is she into?” 

“I’m not answering that!” Sasuke ground out. 

“Aw, c’mon! At least tell me if I have a chance!”

“You don’t.”

“Why not?”

I snorted. “Cause I’m taken, Kiba.”

Kiba let out a yelp, Akamaru echoing his surprise. He bounced back quickly. “What? Since when?”

“A while ago. Before Naruto left.” I kept my eyes on the branches in front of me. “But even if I wasn’t, you still wouldn’t have a chance.”

“Awwww! C’mon, why not?”

“Cause I like older men!”

 

Grass. So much grass it was hard to tell where the border even was. We stopped at the edge of the forest, staring out over the absolute sea of grass before us. 

“Well, at least we know we went the right direction,” I joked half-heartedly. I gave an awkward little cough at Sasuke’s thoroughly unimpressed look. “Alright, we’ll set up camp here. I don’t want to try and travel enemy territory in the dark. You two go find firewood. Try not to wander too far off.”

The sun was just barely peeking over the horizon at this point. With the short few minutes left of daylight, I tugged out a sealing scroll that kaa-san had given me. Unraveling it, I pushed chakra into the large symbols that dotted its length, pulling bedrolls and a tarp out of…where ever the hell things go when they get put in sealing scrolls. The tarp went up into the trees, giving us some kind of cover against any possible rain. I cleared out the ground underneath our shelter before laying out the bedrolls. It wasn’t much, but shinobi traveled light and fast. Bare minimums were easier to clean up after. Whatever pebbles and rocks I could find went into creating a small fire circle just outside the tarp’s reach.

Sasuke soon returned with an armful of kindling. Kiba followed a few minutes later with a rather large, very dead rabbit in his hand. As he skinned and dressed it, I pulled out a small pot from the sealing scroll. Sasuke built and lit the fire before wandering off to find any mushrooms or wild root vegetables that could be used in our rabbit stew. The end result was edible, if not particularly flavorful or good.

With the meal finished and the stars finally showing themselves, I stood and popped my back. “Alright, let’s get some rest. But first: watch duty. Sasuke will go first. I’ll have second watch, and Kiba will take the last watch. We’ll swap out every four hours. Sound good?”

The boys nodded, not seeing a need to argue or fuss, which I was terribly thankful for. I wandered over to the bedrolls, arbitrarily choosing one as ‘mine’ before flopping down on top of it. It was more comfortable that sleeping on the ground…but not by much. Comfortable or not, tiredness dragged me off to sleep soon enough.

 

I awoke to the feeling that something was Wrong. Sitting up, I reached for my sword. Sasuke, who was sitting on a nearby tree root, met my gaze, his Sharingan almost glowing in the dim light of the dying fire. With my other hand I reached out to shake Kiba awake, my hand covering his mouth the moment he started to ask what was going on. I pressed my finger to my lips in a silencing gesture before releasing his mouth and allowing him to sit up. I reached out with my chakra for Mori and Gan, waking them as well. Their eyes wouldn’t do well in the dark, but in case we had to bug out, I wanted them awake and aware. The moon was high and nearly full, but even its glow didn’t illuminate much of the forest. 

A single kunai went soaring past my face. I felt the blood spilling from the small wound before I felt the pain. 

“It’s an ambush!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooh, cliffhanger. Sorry that the chapter's so short, I didn't want to cram everything into one chapter like I'd been doing in the past, so I split this little mini arc into two. Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed it. Let me know what you think in the comments.


	14. In Which All's Well That Ends Well (Or At Least I Didn't Mess Up Too Bad)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again everyone! Another day, another chapter. I'm amazed how long this story is becoming. It's slowly inching its way towards 100k words, and it's nowhere near done. I hope you all will continue to read it even when it starts turning into a doorstop. 
> 
> On another note, I would like to share my birthday present from my dear friend dinosaurdragon. He commissioned a wonderful picture of Team 3 for me! [ Find it here! ](http://thegreatestofgames.tumblr.com/post/149723509659/dinosaurdragon-part-of-my-belated-bc-i-am)
> 
> Now, without any further ado, please enjoy the chapter!

I found myself back to back with Kiba and Sasuke, my eyes darting from one patch of dark forest to another. A flash of reflected moonlight caught my eye and I sent a flurry of shuriken its way. No reaction. I was in the worst position a squad leader could possibly be in: I had no idea who my opponents were or how many there were or what they wanted. 

I heard a twig snap to my right and lashed out with my fist just in time to catch one of our assailants in the face. Moonlight gleamed off the headband, giving me the briefest glance at the symbol on it. Grass shinobi. No! The slash mark through the village’s insignia told me these were missing nin. At least I knew who was attacking us now. One opponent.

“Did you see that?” I whispered. Sasuke grunted an affirmative but Kiba shook his head. “Our opponents are missing nin, which means we’re dealing with people with shinobi training. So don’t hold back!”

Another shinobi flew out from the darkness, this time aiming for Sasuke. He drew his sword, the blade glowing ominously in the moonlight, and relieved the shinobi of one of his arms. Two opponents. 

My hands dipped into my supply pouch, pulling out another handful of shuriken. The air hissed as a set of shuriken flew my way. I threw my shuriken to intercept, the clanging of metal echoing in the empty night air. There were more shuriken aimed at me than I shot off, and three lodged themselves in my arm. A flash of blonde hair from where the shuriken appeared caught my eye. Three opponents. 

Two shinobi charged out at once from different directions, their hands flying as they formed the signs for a technique I didn’t recognize. I turned to Kiba to shout some order, but the kid was way ahead of me. The wind howled as his Fang over Fang technique tore through the air. Five opponents. 

A kunai darted out and nicked Kiba’s arm before embedding itself in the tree where Sasuke had been sitting not five minutes ago. 

“Nee-san!”

I drew my blade at Sasuke’s warning, meeting the enemy ninja with point out. The look of shock and fear on her face as I drove my blade through her chest burned into my brain. 

Cursing filled the air and the ninja that lost his arm to Sasuke attempted another attack, but Sasuke was too fast for him. Now that I’d set the tone for how this encounter would end, Sasuke had no problem removing yet another body part from our assailant. A far more important one this time. 

The shinobi’s head rolled across the ground, coming to a stop with a dull thud against the rocks that made our fire ring. More cursing, and then silence. Kiba smirked.

“Is that all you…got?” His smirk fell away and he started wobbling. 

“Kiba?!” I shouted, reaching out just in time to catch him as he collapsed. Sweat dripped from his brow and his breathing was becoming labored. Panicked, I tore at the sleeve of his coat where the kunai had ripped it. The cut was red and swollen. I gasped. “Poison!” 

What should I do? What should I DO? Dammit, this was just supposed to be a simple C-ranked mission! How the hell did I end up fighting missing ninja? There was no way I could trust Kusa to have the proper medical facilities to deal with this! They were too tiny! 

“Nee-san?” 

Sasuke’s questioning voice spurred me to action. “Sasuke, grab that kunai from the tree. Don’t touch the blade! You, Tsutsuji, and Mori run back to the village as fast as you can. Tell them you need medic nin as soon as possible. Give them the blade, tell them it has a poison on it and they need to synthesize an antidote immediately! Mori! Tell the ninja on gate duty we need the Disposal Squad. When they show up, bring them here.”

“What about you?” Sasuke asked as he tugged the poisoned kunai free.

“I’ll be right behind you with Kiba. I have something that might help slow down the fever at least. But you need to go. NOW!”

Sasuke took off and I heard Mori and Tsutsuji flying after him. Gan fluttered down to a lower branch, watching us intently. I dug through my supply pouch, taking out one small bottle after another, straining to read their labels in the faint light. There it was! I popped the cork and lifted Kiba up. He groaned pitifully as I pressed the bottle to his lips.

“C’mon, kiddo, you gotta drink it. It’s all I got right now but if I’m gonna get you home you gotta take it!”

Kiba opened his mouth just wide enough for me to pour a small amount of the medicine down his throat. His face twisted at the bitter taste, but I didn’t have time to deal with that. I stuffed the bottle back into my pouch. Glancing around, I made a split second decision. A shadow clone appeared in a puff of smoke.

“Pack everything up. Tell the Disposal Squad what happened when they arrive. After that, leave and bring all the shit home.” I ordered. The clone nodded.

Satisfied, I sheathed my blade and gathered Kiba up into my arms. Akamaru whined, nosing at Kiba’s limp hand. 

“C’mon pup,” I said with a sigh. “I might just be able to carry both of you.”

Akamaru gave another whine and clamored up to lay across his master’s belly. Even mostly unconscious, Kiba’s hand reached out to stroke Akamaru’s head. I stood and turned to look up at Gan.

“Let’s go.”

 

It took the better part of the day to reach the border of Fire and Grass. It took me half that to get back at my top speed. Medical ninja were there to meet me at the gate, Shizune leading them. I barely managed to pass Kiba over to her before my knees buckled and I felt myself falling. Two arms wrapped around me, keeping me steady as they slowly set me on the ground. I looked up to see Izumo staring down at me with a comforting smile. Maybe it was just because I was exhausted but he was fucking cute when he smiled.

“It’s okay,” he soothed. “They’ve got him. He’ll be okay.”

“Sasuke?” I croaked. My throat was drier than a desert. 

“Came through about an hour ago. He’s at the hospital getting looked over now.”

“The Disposal Squad?”

“Left not long after he got here. You probably passed them on your way here.”

I hadn’t noticed. I was too busy worrying about Kiba. About what Tsunade would say. My first mission as a squad leader…and I didn’t just fail. I abandoned it. I couldn’t bring myself to put the needs of the village over the safety of my friend. By most metrics, I was an awful ninja. 

A bottle of water entered my line of sight and I turned to see Kotetsu standing there. I took the bottle from him and gulped it down. “Thanks.”

“Don’t worry about it. You look like you’ve had a rough time.”

I flashed him a lackadaisical grin that was totally at odds with how utterly and terribly anxious I felt. “You have no idea.” 

Izumo let me finish the bottle of water off before helping me stand once more. “C’mon. Let’s get you to the hospital.” 

 

There was no Ryou to yell at me when I arrived at the hospital. No Sakura to fuss over me and preemptively apologize if she didn’t do a good job with her healing (even if she always did a fantastic job). Instead, there was a meek looking nurse who kept glancing up at Tsunade as the Hokage stared down at me. 

“What happened?” She demanded, hands on her hips.

I kept my eyes on the bandages the nurse was wrapping around my forearm. “Is Kiba okay?” 

“The Inuzuka brat is fine,” Tsunade assured me. “The poison on the kunai was fairly standard stuff. We keep an antidote on hand. Now tell me what happened.”

I chewed at my lip for a moment before opening my mouth to speak. “We had set up camp along the border, on our side. I didn’t feel comfortable traveling in Grass Country at night. At some point we were surrounded and ambushed by missing nin from Kusa. One of them poisoned Kiba and I didn’t trust Kusa to have the proper medical facilities to deal with it. So I administered a medicine used to fight fever, since that was the only symptom I was sure of, and I brought him home.”

“How many missing nin?” Tsunade queried. 

“Five at the start. Sasuke and I each killed one.” 

“Did they take anything?”

I shook my head. “No. I still have the scroll you gave me to deliver.”

I reached back with my free hand to dig the scroll out from my supply pouch. Tsunade took it from me, her face unreadable. My gaze fell to the ground again.

“You did good.”

My head snapped up and I turned to stare at her. “W-what?”

She smiled at me, almost as if she was expecting this sort of reaction. “You did good.”

“But I abandoned the mission! And one of the kids under my command got hurt! Badly! If I’d hesitated for even a minute more…” My mouth snapped shut when Tsunade raised a hand. 

“What happened was beyond your mission parameters,” Tsunade argued. “You were sent to deliver a message. The worse you should have had to face were bandits. Our intelligence was bad. And you made a decision that your team was incapable of carrying out the mission based on new, more accurate information. There is nothing wrong with that!”

I opened my mouth to say something, but then I realized I had nothing to say. 

“And what’s more, you were able to bring everyone home safe. Yes, someone was hurt, but you had the right idea administering the medicine to help him fight with the worst of the symptoms. Because of your quick thinking, Kiba will make a full recovery. That’s far more important than any mission,” Tsunade said, her voice firm but warm. It was strangely comforting. “And now I know I’ll need to send a team of jonin instead. You did well, Karasuno. Go home. Get some rest. I’ll want a written report by the end of the week.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

 

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, breathing in the scents of autumn and early morning. The garden was peaceful tonight. Most of the crows had left the village for a roost further south, closer to the Land of Waves. The only birds still in the compound were those actually partnered with shinobi. A cold breeze brushed past my face. The sound of footsteps reached my ears and I opened my eyes to see Kakashi standing beside me. My eyes turned back to the garden as he sat next to me, his knee bumping mine. 

“A little birdie told me you’ve had a bad day.”

“Not my worst, all things considered,” I admitted freely. “I probably feel worse than I should.”

Kakashi glanced at me out of the corner of his eye, but said nothing, his gaze quickly returning to the garden. I sighed. “Kiba got hurt. We were attacked by missing nin and Kiba got hurt bad. So…I abandoned the mission.”

Kakashi stiffened at my side, not much, most people probably wouldn’t have noticed, but he did.

“She wasn’t mad, though. She…actually she was happy with me. Cause I understood what happened went beyond the mission parameters. She said…that bringing home everyone safe was more important than any mission.”

Kakashi’s hands, which had been resting on his thighs, tightened into fists. I looked up at his face, but his eyes were unreadable. I thought, perhaps for a moment, I saw some kind of regret or sadness there. But if I did, it was gone far too quickly. 

“I’ve made you remember something sad, haven’t I?” Kakashi turned to me, surprise in his eye. I reached out to place a hand on his. He relaxed, at least enough that his hands weren’t fists anymore. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Kakashi remained silent, his gaze never wavering. Eventually, his hand turned, and his fingers locked together with mine. “Maybe someday.”

I smiled and leaned into his shoulder. “Well, if you ever do, I’m here. Kinda how being in a relationship works, ya know?”

Kakashi gave a little hum. The sun was finally turning the dark sky a bright blue. I was exhausted. I needed sleep. I stood, tugging on Kakashi’s hand. He blinked in surprise as I pulled him to his feet.

“C’mon. I’m exhausted and I feel like shit. I need someone to apply the Kourubi method to me right now.” 

Kakashi seemed to flounder for a minute and I could swear I saw him blush. “I’m not sure if I’m the best person for that…”

“Best person for what?”

I turned to see my mother walking away and leaving a very amused looking Iruka in the audience room. How the hell I hadn’t noticed the doorbell ring or my mother pass by I’d never know. Chalk it up to being exhausted, I guess. I tugged Kakashi into the house, barely letting him trip out of his shoes so kaa-san wouldn’t shout at him. 

“He thinks he’s not gonna be good at administering the Kourubi method,” I informed him. 

I’d never really believed it when the story had tried to paint Iruka as a former troublemaker or class clown, but the way his grin split his face sure made a good argument for it. “Well, that’s why shinobi work in teams, isn’t it? To make up for each other’s deficiencies?”

I matched his grin as Kakashi continued to sputter behind me. I reached out to snatch up Iruka’s hand and tug both men up the stairs. Once in my room, however, I wasn’t entirely sure how to proceed. Kakashi had been in my room before, but that was before we were actually together. The only people who’d been in my bed other than me were Sasuke, Naruto, Sakura, and my teammates. This was new territory. I glanced over at Kakashi and Iruka, who looked similarly unsure. 

“You’re not wearing those vests to bed. That can’t be comfortable. Off they get,” I said without really thinking about it. “If we’re gonna cuddle, we’re gonna get comfy.”

Iruka and Kakashi exchanged a look before shrugging out of their vests and tugging off their headbands. Kakashi went one step further, pulling his long sleeve shirt off over his head, leaving him in his skin tight, sleeveless undershirt that stretched up to form his mask. I stared, watching his back flex through the tight fabric. I inched towards the end of the bed, where his outer shirt had landed. He and Iruka turned to stare at me, my arm outstretched, hand inches from grabbing the discarded shirt. I froze for a hot second, awkwardly meeting their stares, before throwing caution to the wind and snatching up the shirt and booking it for the bathroom to change. 

Once safe behind the bathroom’s locked door I took a moment to breathe and try to get the blush on my face under control. I glanced around the room, catching sight of a pair of sleep shorts I’d worn the night before the mission started. Good enough. I slipped out of my mission clothes, tossing them into the hamper. I carefully removed my feathers from my hair, shaking out the braid that held them in place. Ryou had once suggested that he thought the Karasuno wore their feathers to bed, which was a ridiculous idea. Like we’d risk crushing or breaking the delicate feathers by wearing them to bed!

Kakashi’s shirt was still warm when I tugged it over my head. It was maybe two sizes too big; the sleeves covered most of my hands and you could only see the very bottom edge of my sleep shorts beyond its bottom hem. But it was soft, and comfy, and it smelled like him. Which is to say it smelled a lot like dog and a little like a summer thunderstorm. All rain and wet grass and electrified air. 

Kakashi and Iruka were still standing awkwardly around my bed when I returned to the room. My blush came back with a vengeance when they turned and stared wide eyed and, in Iruka’s case, slack jawed at me. I could definitely see Kakashi’s cheeks flush pink just over the top of his mask this time. 

“I’m keeping this shirt,” I warned before walking around the two of them to dive face first onto the bed, effectively hiding my face. “You’re never getting it back.”

I felt the bed dip on either side of me as the two of them finally got their act together. Kakashi’s deep-throated chuckle reached my ears and sent a tingle right down my spine.

“I suppose that’s alright. I have plenty at home.”

“Should I bring you one of mine to ‘steal’ too?” Iruka asked, his amusement all to obvious in his voice. 

I rolled onto my back, giving myself a better view of their faces as they settled on either side of me. “If you wouldn’t mind. It would save me the trouble of stealing one from your drawers.”

Iruka laughed lightly, slipping an arm under me to settle a hand at my waist. I tucked my head into his shoulder. He was warm, almost too warm, but that just made me excited for winter. What better than a personal heater as a cuddle buddy when the snow came? Kakashi pressed up against my other side, his arm going about my hips, just a few inches under where Iruka’s hand landed. His cool hand slipped up under the shirt, which had bunched up as I rolled about on the mattress, his fingers just barely brushing against my bare skin. His nose pressed against my neck and I could feel him inhale deeply. My hand rose up to bury itself in his surprisingly soft hair. He hummed in contentment as I rubbed small circles in his scalp. My other hand rested atop Iruka’s, just feeling the heat radiating off him. 

“Is this what you needed?” Iruka asked softly, pressing a soft kiss into my hair.

I nodded into his shoulder, my eyes already slipping closed. “This is perfect.” 

“Guess that means I’m not as bad at this as I thought,” Kakashi joked. 

“I’ll give you a solid B-,” I teased. “But don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of time to practice.”

“I’ll have you know that’s the worst grade I’ve ever received in anything.”

“Show off,” Iruka groused playfully. 

“Sass at each other all you want, just don’t start hitting each other,” I warned. “If I wanted that, I’d cuddle with Mai and Ryou.”

“Nope, you’re ours now,” Kakashi informed me. “We get first dibs on cuddles.”

I snorted. “Dork. What happened to the smooth fucker that I flirted with before?”

“Do you have any idea how hard it is to maintain that? Half the time I thought I was going to say something stupid.”

Iruka gave a relieved little laugh. “Glad I wasn’t the only one.”

I giggled sleepily. “Somehow, I think I just respect you more for being able to trick me so well.”

I yawned, exhaustion finally catching up with me now that I was comfortable and warm. The bodies on either side of me pressed closer, so close I could feel their steady heartbeats. My eyes closed.


	15. In Which I Realize Something About Being a Chunin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! I'm back with another chapter! I wanna thank all of you for sticking with me for so long, but I'm not even close to being done. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you think in the comments!

I’d never turned in a mission report before. Genin typically weren’t required to do so, and Shikamaru had been the one in charge of the only other mission I’d been on since becoming a chunin, so the mission report had been his responsibility. I’d asked kaa-san about the basic format of a mission report, but I still wasn’t entirely sure I’d done it right. I sighed out loud as I walked down the hall towards the mission room. Oh, well. If I did it wrong I still had another two days to fix it before the deadline Tsunade-sama gave me. 

I turned into the open door of the mission room, expecting it to be full of shinobi at this time of day, only to find it nearly empty. Only Iruka sat behind the mission desk, a smile spreading across his face when he recognized me. I stepped into the room, glancing about a bit.

“Hello, Iruka,” I greeted. “Where’s everyone else?”

“They’re on lunch break,” Iruka explained. “I told them I’d watch the mission room while they were out and just take my lunch later.”

I approached the desk with a smile. “You’re too nice sometimes, you know that?”

“I’ve heard that said a few times,” Iruka agreed with a short laugh. “What can I do for you?”

I held out the report for him. “Just handing in a report for Tsunade-sama. I hope I did it correctly.”

Iruka took the paper from me and gave it a quick once over. “It looks fine to me. I’ll make sure Hokage-sama gets it.” He tucked the report in a file on the desk and turned back to me. “Were you looking for another mission as well?”

I blinked and shuffled my feet awkwardly. “Oh, no…not really.”

“Well, um, I’m going on a patrol mission at the end of the week, and we still need a fourth member,” Iruka offered. “If you’d like to join us. Otherwise someone is just going to get forced onto the team…”

I bit the inside of my cheek lightly in thought. “I’ve never been on a patrol mission before…”

Iruka nodded. “Genin tend not to get assigned them unless we’re short handed. I’ve been putting off going on one for as long as I can but Tsunade-sama insists I can’t just sit in the village all year.”

“Well,” I said thoughtfully, “I suppose I could. Might not be too bad if it’s with you.”

Iruka grinned. “Great! I’ll add you to the squad! Let me just…” he ducked under the desk, looking for something. He gave a soft ‘ah-ha!’ and reappeared with a scroll and a small notecard. He unfurled the scroll and jotted something down quickly before handing over the notecard to me. “These are some of the mission details.”

I skimmed the words on the card. We’d be heading towards the southern border, close to the Land of Waves. Far, far away from the Land of Grass. Good, this was probably just what I needed.

“Anything else I can do for you?” Iruka asked, his professionalism slipping through. 

I shook my head, but didn’t move from my spot across the desk from him. I hesitated, pressing my lips into a thin line. Iruka noticed, his smile falling into a small frown.

“What’s wrong?”

“Well, um…” I suddenly found it hard to meet his eyes. “I kind of wanted to kiss you goodbye before I left but I don’t know if that’s appropriate given where we are…”

Iruka’s cheeks turned red and he glanced around quickly. Apparently satisfied, he cleared his throat and grinned cheekily. “Well, it probably won’t be a problem if we’re quick about it.”

I nodded, a tiny smile on my lips, and leaned across the table to place a soft peck on his cheek. At the last minute, however, Iruka turned just enough and our lips met. He’d must have gotten lip balm since the last time I’d kissed him properly, I thought absently, cause his lips were soft. Soft and tasting faintly of mint. 

“Hey, Umino, that’s for letting us WOAH!”

I jumped back, whirling about to see Kotetsu and Izumo standing in the doorway. How the hell did I manage to always run into them all the time nowadays? Iruka groaned and his head fell to the desk. 

“Umino’s getting it on in the mission room!” Kotetsu crowed far too loudly for my taste. Izumo glared at him, an uncomfortable frown on his face. I could feel a blush quickly spreading across my cheeks.

“C’mon, Kotetsu, knock it off,” Izumo chastised, automatically becoming my favorite of the two.

“What’s going on in here?” Oh no, not Tsunade.

Kotetsu turned to Tsunade with a wicked grin. “Umino and Karasuno were making out in the mission room!”

“That’s not what happened!” Iruka insisted, jumping up from his seat. 

Tsunade raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow as her gaze shifted between the four of us. My cheeks were on fire this was so embarrassing. A tight, whining noise escaped from the back of my throat. Izumo’s eyes widened and he reached out to punch Kotetsu in the arm.

“You asshole, you’re making her cry!”

Four set of eyes all turned to stare at me. Shoot, now I really was getting teary-eyed. I’d never wanted the earth to just open up and swallow me whole more than I did at that moment. Tsunade sighed softly.

“Umino, go to lunch, take Karasuno with you.” She smiled darkly. “I’m going to have a long conversation with these gentlemen on the proper way to handle finding out about a colleague’s relationship.” 

Iruka stepped around the desk and took my hand, leading me out of the room. Once we were out of the Hokage tower, I let out the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. 

“I wasn’t going to cry until Izumo said something,” I informed Iruka. “Just so you know. But as soon as everyone started staring at me…I’m a stress crier, I can’t help it. Ryou’s the same way…Mai says it’s to make up for the fact she never cries.”

“Never?” I was grateful that Iruka chose that detail to focus on.

“Never,” I repeated. “Not even during the academy.”

“She’s a lot like Naruto, then,” Iruka murmured. “He never let anyone else see him cry either.”

The way he said it, that tiny hint of longing, made me squeeze his hand a little tighter. “I miss him, too.”

Iruka sighed, rubbing the back of his neck like he was embarrassed at the fact I read him so easily. “Yeah…but he’ll be back soon enough and then it’ll be like he never left.”

I didn’t have the heart to tell him how wrong he was.

 

“I should be going with you.”

I turned to see Sasuke standing at the edge of the entryway. His arms were crossed tightly across his chest and a heavy frown had settled on his face. I almost laughed. He was usually much better at hiding his pouting. 

“Maybe when you’re a chunin we can go on a patrol mission together,” I offered. 

Sasuke simply huffed, turning his head to glare at the wall. I took the two small steps necessary to cross the entryway and place a soft kiss to his brow. His blinked in slight surprise, his cheeks tinting pink.

“I’ll miss you too, baby brother.” Sasuke’s face turned a deeper shade of red at being found out. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

 

The cloudless sky and warm sun were welcoming in the cold morning air. I was going to need some tunics with sleeves soon enough. Perhaps I could get kaa-san to take me to the tailor after I got back. The streets were starting to fill with people: civilians running early errands and shinobi rushing to start their missions. Speaking of shinobi…who would come jogging down the street but Gai and Lee.

“Good morning, you two!” I called in greeting. The two of them screeched to a halt just in front of me. They must have only just started; they hadn’t even broken a sweat yet. 

“Good morning to you as well, young Kourubi!” Gai greeted exuberantly. “And where are you off to this fine day?”

“Just on my way to the main gate to meet up with my squad for a patrol mission,” I told him. “Just me and Iruka…and two other people…for two weeks. It’ll be nice, I think.” I paused, glancing over at Lee, who seemed to be listening intently to the conversation. A thought struck me. “Lee, could I ask you to do me a favor?”

Lee’s face brightened. “Of course, Kourubi-senpai! Whatever it is, I will perform the task to the best of my ability!”

“Could you visit Sasuke every so often while I’m gone?” Lee’s jaw went slack at the request, obviously a little surprised. “It doesn’t have to be just you, either. If you can convince some of the others to go with you, that’d be great. I’m just concerned he’ll get lonely while I’m gone.”

The smile that Lee gave me was nearly blinding. “Don’t worry, Kourubi-senpai! Sasuke-kun won’t be lonely if I have anything to say about it!”

“Thanks, sweetie.” I bent down to press a quick kiss to his cheek before bounding off. “Wish me luck!”

“Good luck, Kourubi-senpai!”

 

I was the last of our squad to reach the gate, part of me worried that I’d arrived late. No one seemed particularly annoyed, however, so I figured I was safe. I needed to invest in a watch of some kind, though. I can’t stand being late. Iruka smiled and waved at me as I approached, drawing the attention of a man with burn-like scars across his face and a Hyuuga woman. 

“Alright, now that everyone’s here, we can get started,” The man I recognized as the Hokage’s guard from the Third Exam spoke in an even tone. “Let’s make these introductions short, I want to get to the first outpost before sundown. I’m Namiashi Raido and I’ll be your jonin squad leader for this patrol.”

“Umino Iruka, chunin,” Iruka introduced himself cordially. “I look forward to working with all of you.”

“Hyuuga Nami.” The Hyuuga bowed low. “I will be your medical ninja for this mission.”

The eyes once again turned to me and I glanced at Iruka briefly, searching for support. He gave me a small nod and I inhaled deeply before speaking. “Karasuno Kourubi. This is my first patrol mission so I apologize in advance for my ignorance.” 

Raido nodded. “Right, we’ll be heading south towards the border with the Land of Waves. There are a series of outposts stationed about a day’s journey from each other. We will be traveling between these outposts: checking on them, making sure none of the traps have been tripped, and looking out for any signs of enemy activity. We’ve been on good terms with the Land of Waves for years, so I doubt we’ll find much. Alright, formation is pretty standard. I’ll be up front. Umino and Karasuno will be behind me, Umino on the left and Karasuno on the right. Hyuuga will be in the rear. Are we clear?”

Raido waited a brief moment, barely giving us enough time to confirm that we understood before turning and taking off. I gave a tiny squawk and bounded after him, pointedly ignoring Nami’s giggles. 

We easily fell into formation as we sailed through the trees. The pace, however, was faster than I was used to. I could maintain it well enough, but I tired far quicker than I usually did. Raido was something of a taskmaster, though, pushing us to go until he deemed it an appropriate time to stop. I wasn’t sure how long we’d been running – hours, probably. The sun was blocked from view by the massive trees of the forest. Land of Fire, my ass. We should have been called the Land of Trees. 

My knees buckled a little as we touched down on the forest floor to rest. I quickly caught myself before the older shinobi noticed. I took a seat on a large root, trying to keep my heavy breathing as quiet as possible. Iruka passed me half a rations bar and a small canteen of water. I must be shit at acting because his concern was written pretty clearly on his face. I looked away, shame clawing at my belly. We’d barely started and I was already getting tired. How had I managed to go so long when we chased after Sasuke? Adrenaline? Maybe it was the urgency of the situation? Fuck if I knew. I downed a gulp of water.

Iruka sat beside me, munching on his half of the ration bar. He kept a polite distance, almost as if trying to play it off like we were simply acquaintances. The idea stung a little. No, I was being ridiculous. We were on a mission; he was just keeping it professional. Still, I could feel the doubt dig down in the back of my mind. It wasn’t going away any time soon. 

“Is something wrong, Karasuno-san?” My head jerked up at Nami’s voice, cool and polite. All eyes were on me once again. 

“I’m fine, Hyuuga-san,” I muttered, taking a bite of my ration bar as an excuse not to say anything more. 

Iruka’s knee bumped against mine and something about it told me that he didn’t believe me. 

 

We continued traveling until well after it’d gotten dark. Raido was insistent that we make it to the first outpost before we stopped. Said outpost was a small, squat building with a generator out the back. It wasn’t camouflaged or anything, though some ivy was crawling up the side. Raido held up a hand to halt us as he walked forward. He pressed his palm against the door and I felt a flare of chakra before the door creaked open. He turned and informed us it was safe to proceed. I felt a shiver go down my spine as I passed through the doorway, the barriers and seals recognizing me as an ally. How it could tell I was from Konoha and not someplace else I would probably never know. 

The outpost only had three rooms. A tiny bathroom that was basically only a shower and a toilet, a decent sized living space with a tiny kitchenette and a low table, and a room that was lined with futons. A single person could probably live there fairly comfortably. Any more than the four of us, and it would be terribly cramped. Raido immediately went to the kitchenette and opened the cabinets. A grin spread over his face as he pulled out four packets of instant ramen.

“No ration bars for us tonight!”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone other than Naruto so excited about instant ramen,” I said quietly to Iruka. His shoulders shook a little in silent laughter, which only made me smile. 

Iruka, Nami, and I sat around the low table as Raido filled the electric kettle with water from the faucet in the kitchenette. For an outpost, the place was fairly luxurious. Running water and electricity was far more than I had expected. I was starting to wonder what it lacked to keep it from just straight up being a house. Probably heating and air conditioning. 

The kettle beeped obnoxiously and Raido brought it over to the table, pouring water into his own ramen before passing the kettle around. We sat in silence as the ramen cooked in its Styrofoam containers, my chin cradled in my hands as I stared at the obnoxiously colored packaging. I found the taste rather lacking once the food was finally done. It was better than ration bars by a mile, but it paled in comparison to Ichiraku’s. For several long minutes the only sounds in the outpost were that of the four of us slurping up noodles. 

With a full belly and tired limbs, I watched Raido and Iruka wander about the outpost to set up barriers and wards. I hadn’t known Iruka could perform barrier jutsu. There was a lot I didn’t know about him, now that I thought on it. He’d always been in the background of the story, there for emotional climaxes but never the big battles. His skills were a mystery to me. 

“Karasuno-san?” I blinked away my thoughts at the sound of Nami calling my name. I turned to her to see her holding out a towel and some soap. “It will take Namiashi-san and Umino-san a while to finish the wards. Perhaps you’d like to shower? The next few outposts do not have one, so you should clean yourself while you can.”

“Oh, um, alright.” I took the soap and towel from her and wandered towards the ‘bedroom’ and the tiny bathroom that opened up into it. 

The water wasn’t terribly hot, more of a lukewarm than anything but, it was better than nothing, and I washed quickly to make sure to leave hot water for the rest of the team, should they want it. When I stepped out from the shower, dressed in a spare tunic I’d tucked into a sealing scroll, Nami was waiting outside the door with a towel of her own. She smiled politely at me before breezing past me in to the humid bathroom. Iruka and Raido were finished with their work, it seemed, as they were sitting around the low table playing some kind of card game. The two of them looked up as I approached, Iruka giving me a brilliant smile. Put him and Naruto in an auditorium together and they could light the whole thing up with their smiles.

“What are you playing?” I asked, sitting beside him and setting my loose feathers on the table. 

“Bullshit,” Raido replied casually. 

I grinned. “Oh, I love that game! Deal me in next round, okay?”

Raido snorted. “Sure, kid.” 

The round finished fairly quickly, Iruka was weirdly good at keeping a straight face as he lied his ass off. Or maybe it was just a ninja thing. As Raido shuffled the deck once more, Iruka reached over and began drying my still wet hair with the towel that I’d forgotten atop it. His motions were gentle as he chided me for leaving my hair wet for so long. 

“You’re going to catch a cold,” he said. 

I gave a soft laugh. “No, I’m not. But you can keep doing that if it makes you feel better, I’m not complaining.” 

Raido eyed us curiously. “Now I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how do you two know each other?”

Iruka’s hands stopped abruptly and I turned to meet his unsure eyes. I made a slight nodding movement with my head and shrugged like ‘should I go ahead’. Iruka considered this for a moment, glancing at Raido. After a short time he gave me a smile and nodded.

“We’re dating,” I said.

Raido seemed surprised for a moment, but quickly settled into a more neutral expression. “Well, that explains why Umino was speaking so highly of you before you showed up at the gate this morning.”

“What explains that?” We turned to see Nami exiting the bedroom. 

“Umino and Karasuno are dating.”

“Ahhh.” Nami paused. “But I heard the Karasuno heir was dating Hatake Kakashi.”

I shrugged. “I am.”

Raido turned back to me, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“I’m dating both of them.” I emphasized. “Also, technically I’m no longer clan heir. I’m clan head now. Kinda. Tou-san still makes all the big decisions but he’s gonna start letting me in on things after this mission…What?”

Raido shook his head, chasing away the disbelief on his face. “Sorry, just…you don’t ever really hear about Hatake dating, especially not dating someone who’s already dating someone else.”

“Oh, no, I started dating them at the same time.”

Nami and Raido stared for a long moment before Raido burst out laughing. Nami merely shook her head, an amused smile on her face.

“I gotta say, Karasuno, you’re something else.”

“Thank you?”

“…”

“…”

“Are we going to play another round now or …?”

The futon was comfortable…or at least more comfortable than I’d expected it to be. Didn’t make falling asleep any easier. I remembered being like this Before too, unable to sleep well in unfamiliar places (hotels had always been the worst). I rolled onto my side, noting with no lack of jealousy how everyone else seemed to be sleeping fine. I tried hard not to groan out loud in frustration (ninjas tended to be light sleepers), snuggling further down in to the warm quilt. I was just about to close my eyes in an attempt to force myself to sleep when I saw Iruka begin to shift in his sleep. He turned to face me, one arm tucked into his chest and the other stretching out into the space between our futons (what little there was). Hesitantly, I reached out and curled my hand around his. His hand clenched around mine almost instinctively. The warmth of his hand was comforting, familiar. That comforting, familiar warmth traveled up my arm and settled in my chest. My eyelids began to droop, my whole body feeling heavy. Just before I drifted off, I could have sworn I felt Iruka’s hand tighten around mine.

 

We sailed through orange and gold leaves, crisp autumn air filling my lungs with each breath. We were already five days into our twelve-day mission and had yet to run into any signs of enemy ninja or banditry. That only served to make me more anxious. There was no way we wouldn’t run into something sooner or later. The Land of Fire was a large nation, and it was heavily populated. It was terribly unlikely that none of the people were participating in criminal activity. 

What’s more, ever since that first night Iruka had been keeping his distance from me. He wouldn’t avoid me entirely, there was no way he could do that if he tried on a mission like this, but he’d always been within ‘polite’ distance. I was so used to him being right by my side, within easy touching range, that it was weird. It was disconcerting. I didn’t understand it at all and it was so frustrating. 

I frowned heavily as I pushed off from a thick tree branch, following closely behind our squad leader.

“Hold up,” Raido hissed, throwing out his hands to stop us. We landed as quietly as possible on the branch. “You see that?”

Down below us, in the tiniest of clearings, was a fire circle. That alone said who ever made it wasn’t a ninja. No shinobi ever left traces of their activity, not if they were any good any way. There was the possibility that it was a civilian camp, but the large patches of bare dirt in a ring around the fire circle said the camp had been semi-permanent. Three patches of dirt, three tents killing the grass beneath them. 

“Think there’s a chance whoever made this camp is still in the area?” Iruka questioned. 

“Unlikely,” Nami murmured, staring down at the campsite over my shoulder with her Byakugan activated. “The grass is already starting to regrow. It’s been about a week, I’d say, since anyone’s been here. They’re probably a long ways away by this point.”

“What’s the likelihood that we’d be able to track their movements from here?” Raido asked.

“The trail has probably long since gone cold,” Nami informed him, her eyes shifting back to their normal state. “We’re not exactly a tracking team, and with them having been gone so long, I doubt we could find them.”

“Damn,” Raido sighed. “Alright, guess that’s going in the report.” He pulled a small map of the region out of his pocket and made a note on it before tucking it back in. “Let’s keep going.”

They took off, clearing the space over the camp easily. But I…I couldn’t jump as far as they could, not from a standing position. I landed on the tree just above the largest patch of dirt. Something clicked and…

 

“-rubi?! Kourubi!?”

Everything hurt. My head was throbbing and my ears were ringing. I blinked open eyes just to close them against the bright sunlight. I tried to raise my arm to cover my eyes but it hurt to move so I stopped trying. Something cold ran along my body, both touching and not touching me. 

“Mother fuck, what was that?” I asked, opening my eyes once more to squint up at the canopy above me.

“Paper bomb.” That was Raido’s voice. “You landed on the trip wire for it.”

“Considering how high up it was, I can only assume it was laid specifically to catch shinobi.” That was Nami. Thank fuck someone decided to send a medic with us. Where was Iruka?

Once I was able to move without it hurting like a bitch I sat up and took stock of my surroundings. I was on the forest floor. Nami sat immediately to my right, her hands glowing green as she hovered them at the base of my skull, probably to make sure I didn’t have a concussion or something. Raido was standing a few feet away, his arms crossed and face stern. Iruka, it turned out, was pacing back and forth some distance away. One of his hands cupped his chin as if in thought and the other was crossed tightly across his chest. Why was he so far away?

My confusion must have been pretty plain on my face because Raido turned and shouted in Iruka’s direction. “Umino, get over here and look after your girlfriend. Me and Hyuuga are going to check the immediate area for more traps.” 

Iruka sat down next to me, that weird space between us once more. Raido and Nami took off, leaving us in silence.

I turned to Iruka, who was staring at the grass. “Can I ask you something?”

Iruka’s head shot up, his brows drawn tightly together. “Of course.”

“Are you embarrassed by me?” The words spilled from my mouth without thought, and they kept coming. “Because you hold my hand all the time in the village, when we go on our walks and stuff. But here you always put this…space between us. Like, you dried my hair that first night and we flat out told Raido we’re dating so I figured we were cool but you keep doing it? Is it because we’re on a mission? Cause if it is just let me know and I’ll be cool about it but you just haven’t said, like, anything. And even if it was a mission I thought, you know, you’d be right there if I was injured but you were all the way across the clearing and I’m just really fucking c-confused.” Fuck. Was I crying? No, not yet. But I was getting there. I could feel the tightness in my throat and that weird tingling in my nose. I hated that feeling. 

Iruka’s shoulders slumped for a moment before he practically fell forward to grab my hand. There was panic in his eyes and the pitch of his voice. “No! That’s not it at all! I could never be embarrassed of you. It’s just…I wasn’t sure how comfortable you were going to be with displaying affection in public. I mean, when we’re in the village, even though there’s more people it feels more anonymous. If we hold hands, we’re just like every other couple in the village. No one bats an eye. Out here though, there’s less people, but the focus would be on us. We wouldn’t be like everyone else because there is no one else. And yeah, there’s a little bit of me who wants to keep it professional on a mission. But mostly I just…didn’t want to do anything that made you uncomfortable. But I ended up making you uncomfortable in a different way. I’m sorry.”

Relief washed over me, the dread that’d made itself at home in the back of my mind finally shut the fuck up. I laughed, almost hysterically, in relief and leaned forward to rest my head against Iruka’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry, too,” I murmured. “I jumped to conclusions when I should have just asked straight out why you were being so distant. Looks like we both suck at this.”

Iruka gave a halfhearted laugh. “Well, that doesn’t surprise me. I’ve never really done this before.”

I sat up, staring at Iruka incredulously. “You’re kidding me. C’mon, a guy like you…there’s gotta be someone who wanted to date you.”

Iruka scratched at the edge of his scar, a faint blush spreading across his cheeks. “Well, I mean. I went on a few dates with an old class mate of mine while we were still genin…but that doesn’t really count.”

I hummed thoughtfully, laying my head back down on Iruka’s shoulder. “No, I guess not.”

We were quiet once more… until I decided to make something clear. “For the record. I don’t care if people stare at us or anything. I like being able to lean over and have you be there to rest my head on. I like the closeness we have in the village. Even if it’s not strictly professional, I don’t want us to lose our intimacy when we go out on missions. Okay?”

I could feel Iruka nod. “Okay.”

“Jeez, took you two long enough.” I twitched at the sound of Raido’s voice and the giggles from Nami that accompanied it. “It was plain painful to watch you two dance around each other for the past five days.”

“Yes, sir,” I groaned, embarrassment making my cheeks grow warm. “Sorry, sir.”

“Next time you have relationship issues, try to get them worked out before you come on a mission, that’s all I ask.” Why did it sound like Raido had dealt with this sort of thing before? “Are we good to go now?”

I sighed and stood, rocking back onto my heels to stretch out my body. Healing always made me feel kinda stiff. I turned to grin at Raido. “Ready when you are, sir.”

Raido gave me a half formed smile. “Just call me Raido, kid.”

“Only if you call me Kourubi,” I shot back. 

“You might as well, Raido-san,” Iruka cut in. “I’m amazed you got away with calling her anything else this long.”

Raido rolled his eyes and we took off without another word. 

 

Bandits could officially KISS MY ASS! 

Day ten of our patrol, we’d already started to loop back towards Konoha, and we finally ran into bandits. Big, brutish, obnoxiously strong for non-shinobi bandits. One of them must have been an academy drop out, too, because the Kourubi part of me recognized my opponent’s stance as being on of the basic academy stances they taught five year olds. The Before part of me thought that teaching ninja skills to five year olds was stupid, but that might have just been the exhaustion and frustration talking. 

This was supposed to be easy! There were four bandits and four of us, and I had more days of training under my belt than my opponent had brain cells but I couldn’t fucking KNOCK HIM OVER!

“Why. Won’t. You. Go. DOWN!?” I screamed, struggling against the meaty arms wrapped around me, pinning my arms to my side. Why was this so hard? Even Kabuto wasn’t this hard to beat.

But I’d had Naruto and Sasuke with me then. Naruto and Sasuke who were already way beyond chunin level when it came to power. Naruto and Sasuke who would grow up to be gods in comparison to everyone else around them. Naruto and Sasuke who’d done most of the work in defeating Kabuto. Compared to them…

There was a muted snapping sound and the arms around me went limp. I dropped to the ground and turned to see Iruka with his arms around the now dead bandit’s neck. 

“Are you alright?” he asked, dropping the bandit’s body in the dirt like it was a pile of dirty clothes being deposited in a hamper.

“I’m fine.” 

“The outpost is about a kilometer ahead,” Raido informed us. “Hyuuga and I will go ahead and make sure these guys didn’t trip any of the traps. Or make their way around them. Give us a ten minute head start and then make your way there.”

Iruka moved the bodies of the bandits together, clearing the area around them of sticks and leaves before cremating them. The smell was awful. Like Mai’s fight against Sho, but ten times worse. 

 

“Hey…” I waited for Iruka to turn to face me. “Remember a few days back…when I asked if you were embarrassed by me?”

Iruka nodded. “And I said I wasn’t.”

I frowned at the dirt. “I’m starting to think maybe you should be.”

“Kourubi…”

“Look at me! I can’t even take down a bandit! I can’t keep up with you guys half the time without being exhausted when we finally stop to rest. I used to be fast! I was the fastest shinobi in my graduating class, with the largest chakra reserves. I was exceptional as a genin. Now…now I’m mediocre at best. No…I was mediocre the second I stepped onto the playing field with Sasuke and Lee and Naruto and…”

And how was I supposed to protect them when I was so weak? 

“You can’t expect to be amazing without training, Kourubi,” Iruka said, his voice low and soothing. “Lee got to be the way he is through intense…insane training. Naruto worked his butt off to get to where he is today. You trained until you were extraordinary. Now you just have to do it again.”

I stared at him, jaw slack, as my anxiety melted at his words. It wasn’t gone, per say, but it wasn’t so loud. It wasn’t so heavy in the pit of my stomach. “How are you so good at that?”

“Hmm?”

“Making sense,” I clarified. “You just…you always seem to know what to say.”

Iruka gave me a small, lopsided smile. “I get a lot of practice. Lots of kids get discouraged like you did when they can’t do something just right the first time.”

“Second time,” I corrected teasingly, a tiny smile on my lips.

“Oh, then you must be hopeless.” Iruka outright laughed. “Seriously, you haven’t even been a chunin for a year. Don’t worry about not keeping up with the others yet. You have plenty of time.” 

He reached out and placed his hands on my shoulders, pulling me close. Before I could say anything, he kissed the top of my head. I could feel him smiling into my hair. 

“This is nice and all, Iruka…but can we not do this next to the pile of burning bodies?”

 

Twelve days. Twelve days of constant moving, eleven nights of sleeping on only mildly comfortable futons, and thirty-two meals consisting of ration bars. I was never going on a patrol mission ever again. Not if I could help in anyway. 

I was practically dragging my feet as I approached the house, ready to just fall into bed without thought to how dirty I was (the last three outposts didn’t have showers). That was, until I heard something akin to panicked screaming coming closer. I turned to the open gate of the compound, waiting to see what the hell was making that noise. Then I saw him. Ryou skidded around the corner, coming closer with…something in his out stretched hands. Genma was right behind him, going much slower and with a far more bored expression on his face, as if he’d seen this several times over. As Ryou came screeching to a halt in front of me, I got a good look at what exactly he was holding.

“Ryou? Why are you holding an infant?”


	16. In Which I Meet Umeko

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I'm back with another chapter after that nasty little cliffhanger from last time. Hopefully the conclusion to that will be amusing to you, cause it was a lot of fun for me! Anyway, let me know what you think in the comments below and I hope you enjoy!

“Ryou? Why are you holding an infant?”

Ryou turned his body to point at Genma while still holding the baby in outstretched arms. Genma gave a little half wave. “Blame him! But we can talk about that later. Kourubi, I need your help!”

“Why? What happened? And why are you holding them like that, that’s not how you hold a baby, Ryou.”

“Umeko shat up her own back!”

“…I’m sorry?”

“Umeko.” Ryou raised the child up a little for emphasis. “Shitted-shat-shit-whatever!! She poopED. Up her OWN. BACK!”

There was a long, drawn out period of silence where the child (Umeko, apparently) just giggled.

“I’m too tired for this,” I groaned. “Fine. Come in. I’ll see what I can do.” I turned to open the door, calling tiredly into the house. “I’m home.”

The shoji to the audience room and the garden beyond that were open. At the sound of my voice, Sasuke appeared in the open doorway. Then Lee appeared. Then Shikamaru stuck his head out from around the corner, looking bored. 

“Looks like you kept your promise, Lee,” I said as I pulled my shoes off and tossed them aside. “How’d he convince you to come visit, Smarty pants?”

Shikamaru shrugged. “You’ve got a hill back here that’s really good for watching clouds.”

I beamed. “Isn’t it nice?”

“Kourubi!” Ryou snapped. “Less chatting, more helping me with my mess of a child!”

“I highly doubt that’s actually your child,” I shot over my shoulder. “Because I’m pretty sure you’ve never touched a vagina in your life, let alone fucked one.”

“Yeah, well, she’s mine now since her awful mother dropped her off with Genma and never came back,” Ryou snapped.

I sighed though my nose, just giving up on the whole situation in general. I jerked my head towards the stairs, only to find Kakashi blocking them. I blinked at him, and as I did he disappeared from the stairs and reappeared behind me, arms around my waist and his chin on my shoulder.

“Um, hi?” I greeted stupidly. Too much was happening at once, my brain couldn’t keep up. “When did you get here?”

“Three days ago,” Sasuke drawled. “He showed up looking for you and then decided training with me was an acceptable alternative. Ruki offered to let him stay the night and he hasn’t left since.”

I look down at Kakashi, who looked up at me in turn. His brow was furrowed in the same way Sasuke’s did when he…wait a minute. Was he pouting? Kakashi squeezed a bit tighter around my waist when our gazes met and I could swear I saw him frown through his mask. He was! He was totally pouting!

“You didn’t tell me you were going on a mission,” he grumbled.

“I literally couldn’t,” I reminded him. “You were gone when I left. On some kind of top-secret S-ranked mission that I couldn’t know any details about. I didn’t even know if you’d be here when I got back.”

Kakashi just buried his face in my shoulder. I sighed again. He was lucky he was so cute. “Just let me deal with Ryou’s crisis and get cleaned up and then I’ll make it up to you.”

He lifted his head, and his eye swept over to where Ryou and Genma were standing awkwardly off to the side. His brow furrowed just a bit more. “What kind of crisis?”

“Apparently Umeko shat up her own back.”

Sasuke and the other boys dismissed themselves without another word and Kakashi quickly backed away from me, his hands up in a ‘not my problem’ gesture. I groaned. Very loudly, I might add. I trudged up the stairs, Ryou and Genma following close behind me. I led them into the bathroom, turning on the sink and waiting for the water to reach lukewarm.

“Get her undressed first,” I ordered. “You might as well throw those clothes out. Unless you wanna try and get shit out of fabric.”

Ryou stared at the outfit Umeko was wearing, some kind of simple yellow dress, and shrugged. “I’m not that attached to it. Besides, it’s what she was wearing when her mother dropped her off so it’s not like I wasted money on it.” 

I smirked. “Want me to get Sasuke to burn it?”

Ryou’s eyes went wide for a moment before a wicked grin spread over his face. “Yes, please!”

He managed to tug the dress off without getting any poop in Umeko’s little crown of wispy, dark purple hair. I took the garment from him and ducked around Kakashi (who was just kinda watching from the door, leaning against the frame) to call down the stairs.

“Sasuke, I need you to burn something for me!” Sasuke’s face appeared at the bottom of the stairs, one eyebrow raised quizzically. “Catch.”

Sasuke’s head jerked back as the dress went floating down towards him. He caught it, a disgusted look on his face. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, go burn it in the yard or something. Away from kaa-san’s flower beds if you could, please and thank you!”

I ducked back into the bathroom before he could respond, checking the temperature of the water. It seemed just about right to me. I turned to Ryou again. 

“Alright, get her out of her diaper and wipe her up like you’d usually do. Then we’re gonna wash her back. Do you have baby soap with you? And a change of clothes?”

Genma lifted the bag on his shoulder, which was obviously a diaper bag now that I had the proper context. He unzipped it, tugging out some baby wipes, a new diaper, and a bottle of baby wash. Well, they did say that ninjas should always be prepared. I let Ryou and Genma deal with the diaper, watching Ryou’s disgusted expression with something akin to glee. Or maybe it was just schadenfruede. 

“Seriously though, how did you end up with a baby?” I asked. 

Ryou carried Umeko over to the sink and held her steady as I used an old washcloth to clean off her back. He was frowning, looking almost pensive. It was a pretty rare look for him, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about seeing it. “Genma should probably explain that.”

I glanced up at Genma, who looked a little put out. He rubbed at his neck as he explained. “Well, before I met Ryou I wasn’t the most…steady guy when it came to relationships. So about a year and a half ago or something, I have this one night stand with this civilian woman. The condom broke but she insisted she was on birth control and I was clean and I assumed she was, so I figured we were cool, right? Apparently not ‘cause about a week ago she shows up at our place with Umeko and just…thrusts her into my arms and says she’s my responsibility now. And here we are. Ryou was not happy.”

“I can’t do children!” Ryou insisted, his voice high pitched in panic. “I’m not parent material!”

“You’ve raised most of your cats since they were kittens,” I reminded him.

“YOU CAN DROP CATS!” he screeched, earning a giggle from Umeko. “If I dropped Mulberry she’d probably just climb back up me and demand I do it again! Human babies are fucking fragile! And cats sure as hell don’t shit up their own backs!”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, okay, whatever. What where you going to do if I wasn’t here when you showed up?”

“Hope your mom was here.”

“Well, clearly she’s not,” I grumbled. “Where is she, Kakashi?”

“Out shopping for dinner with your father,” Kakashi said blandly. “Left about an hour ago.”

“Well,” I said, returning my attention to cleaning the still giggling infant, “looks like you would have been shit out of luck.”

Ryou glared at me like I’d just betrayed him. “Did you just pun at me?!”

“Look, I’m tired as hell and I haven’t showered in three days so I feel disgusting. I don’t have time to take things seriously right now. I’ll be totally offended by the fact a mother abandoned her child with an unaware father after I take a nap. But right now, I’m just gonna be a little loopy so yeah, I totally punned at you,” I ranted, wiping the last smear of poop off of Umeko. “There, she’s clean. You can take your spawn back now.” 

Ryou tucked Umeko into a new diaper and dressed her in some pink and white polka dot onesie Genma pulled from the bag. Genma smiled at me, and I could actually see the exhaustion in his eyes.

“Thanks, Kourubi, really.”

I waved him off. “Whatever. Just…get out of my house so I can finally get some rest.”

Kakashi watched as they trundled down the stairs. He turned back to me as I slumped against the kitchen counter, his gaze soft.

“Do you want me to leave, too?”

I shook my head with a smile. “You are going to be my cuddle buddy. Just…let me clean up. I wasn’t kidding when I said I felt gross as hell.”

Kakashi hummed quietly in understanding, pushing off the doorframe. “I’ll grab you some clothes.”

“Thank you,” I called after him before closing the door. I turned back to the bathroom. While I really wanted nothing more than a long soak, the idea of falling asleep in the tub was not appealing, so a shower it was. 

The Karasuno compound was old. The main house was just as old. It didn’t even have centralized heating or air conditioning. The heads of the Karasuno clan seemed to think that the only modern amenities one needed could be found in the kitchen and, thankfully, in the bathroom. I pulled a large curtain across the bathroom, hiding the bath and shower from the door. Just an added bit of privacy. Usually I wouldn’t bother but if Kakashi was going to pop in with some clean clothes…

I thanked whatever clan member had decided that hot water heaters were a thing the house needed, because after several simply lukewarm showers and then three days of none at all, I was all too happy to scald my damn skin off. Well, not quite, but close enough. 

Shower finished, I wrapped myself in a spare towel and pulled the curtain back. On the sink counter I found a small pile of clothes. I hadn’t even heard Kakashi open the door. I smiled when I picked up the piece of clothing on the top of the pile. He’d brought me the shirt I’d stolen from him. It’d been washed since the last time I’d worn it, and was starting to lose his scent. I hoped that cuddling with him would fix that problem. Or maybe I could just give this one back and steal a different one. Oh, he even riffled through my underwear drawer to bring me one of my cute pairs of panties to make me feel better. Or maybe it was because he was being a pervert. Either way, I liked the minty green stars. Ah, but no pants. Whatever, the shirt covered enough that I could wander the house without worries. As long as I got under a blanket before I got too cold. The sporadically placed radiators only did so much. 

Dressed and hair mostly dried, I wandered down the hall towards my room. Inside, I found Kakashi lounging in my bed, leaning back against the wall. He looked up from his well-worn paperback as I entered, and I noticed he’d taken off his headband. Or had he been wearing it in the first place? His Sharingan eye was in full view for the briefest of moments before it slipped closed again.

“Did you just use your Sharingan to take a mental picture of me wearing your shirt and basically nothing else?”

Kakashi turned back to his book. “Depends. Would you be mad at me if I said yes?”

“Not really,” I admitted as I made my way towards the edge of the bed. “Though if you’d had told me, I would have given you a flash of panty to go with it.”

Kakashi’s neck popped as his gaze snapped up to meet mine. “Wha-? Really?”

I smirked and climbed very carefully into bed. “Yeah, but you missed your chance. Too bad.”

I buried myself under the warm, handmade quilt that decorated my bed during the colder months of the year. It was a bit worn from years of use, but it was soft and warm and I loved it. Kakashi’s shoulders slumped in disappointment.

“You’re so mean to me,” he muttered, setting his book aside and getting under the covers with me. 

“Let me know when you’re going to be a perv next time instead of trying to be sneaky about it,” I replied. 

He sighed, opening his arms to me as I scooted towards him despite making a show of being reluctant to do so. I tucked my head under his chin, one hand reaching up to rest against his chest, feeling the soft th-thump of his heart under my fingertips. I could feel the fabric of his mask brushing against my forehead and I wondered, not for the first time, when he would deem me worthy of seeing his face. He wasn’t wearing his gloves this time, and I could feel his cool hand brush against the fabric of my panties on my hip. I bit my lip, waiting silently to see what he’d do next. He pulled me closer to his side, and settled further into the soft mattress. I glanced up at him expectantly. His eye twinkled with amusement. He knew what I was thinking, the smug bastard. 

“Close your eyes,” he murmured. Confused, I did. There was the sound of fabric being moved. And then, I felt something soft brush against my lips. I gasped and something warm and wet dipped into my mouth for the briefest of moments. Kakashi’s tongue. He’d removed his mask to kiss me! I forced back my curiosity and kept my eyes closed as he kissed me lazily, lips and tongue moving leisurely against my own. 

He pulled away far too soon. By the time I thought to open my eyes, his mask was already back in its proper place. 

“Sorry,” he murmured. “You were too cute right then. I just had to kiss you.”

“Don’t be sorry about that,” I said, my head still spinning a little. “Be sorry about the fact you’re a teasing bastard.”

“Turnabout deserves fair play,” he teased. “Now, I remember you saying something about being exhausted. Get some rest. The first patrol mission is always the worst.”

 

I stood in front of a small, two-story house. It wasn’t as old as most of the other buildings on the street, which was probably why it was so easy to find. Kaa-san had sent me on my own to visit my cousin, the tailor who’d made Sasuke’s new clothes for him, with a envelope full of bills to buy a new cold weather wardrobe. The first floor of the house was the shop proper, which led me to believe that the top floor was something like an apartment. I could see a young woman only a few years older than me sitting by the large front window. She seemed to be knitting something. A beautiful black and white bird sat on her shoulder, watching her hands move rhythmically. 

The bell above the door jingled as I pushed it open. The young woman’s head shot up at the sound, large, warm, honey brown eyes meeting mine. A smile spread across her face as she recognized me. 

“Kourubi-chan!” She dropped her knitting and jumped up to hug me. “It’s been so long. I haven’t seen you in years it feels like.”

Her smile was welcoming and familiar. Her hair was the same mahogany color as kaa-san’s. Her face was round and her cheeks were pleasantly pink. She seemed terribly familiar, at least to the Kourubi part of me. What had kaa-san said her name was?

“Kasasagi?” A voice came floating down from the staircase towards the back of the shop. “Who’s here?”

A man the same age as my cousin (Kasasagi, I reinforced in an attempt to remember it) came wandering down the stairs. His messy hair was an unusual blue-grey color, but his grey eyes were just as warm as Kasasagi’s. Definitely from outside the clan. No one in the clan had hair that color, just browns and blacks and dark reds. 

“Kourubi-chan, you remember my husband Daisuke, don’t you?” Kasasagi asked.

Daisuke grinned and for the briefest of moments it felt like I was looking at Naruto. “Nice to see you again, Kourubi-chan.”

“The same to you,” I said, dodging the fact that I didn’t remember him very much at all. The Kourubi part of me provided a flash of a memory of a wedding, but apparently she didn’t have a whole lot to do with most of her extended family. 

“What brings you here?” Kasasagi asked casually. 

“Oh, um, I need some new clothes now that it’s getting cold,” I answered. 

Kasasagi smiled knowingly. “I figured you’d be coming sooner or later for that. I actually have something already that I made with you in mind.” She swept into the back of her shop, leaving me to stand in awkward silence with Daisuke until she returned. With her she brought a shirt, which she held out for me to inspect. It was shorter than the tunics I had grown accustomed to wearing, and was a dark blue in color. The sleeves were long, and I found that it had a hood. A hood lined with soft, tiny, black feathers.

“Is this…down?” I asked, feeling the soft feathers between my fingers.

Kasasagi nodded. “Some of the birds use down to line their nests. Tanpopo collects it from the nests for me sometimes. I don’t use it very often, but it’s nice to have.”

The little black and white bird on her shoulder puffed up its feathers pridefully. 

“It’s wonderful, I love it,” I insisted. Then a thought occurred to me. “Oh, Sasuke could probably use some new clothes as well, if kaa-san didn’t get any made for him when she last visited.”

“Of course. I’m sure I still have his measurements around here somewhere…” Kasasagi glanced around the shop, a thoughtful frown on her face.

“In your notebook, where everyone’s measurements are, Kasasagi,” Tanpopo reminded. 

Kasasagi laughed lightly. “Oh yes, sorry. Had a bit of a brain fart.”

I shook my head. “Don’t worry about it. Here, kaa-san said this should cover the costs.” I handed her the envelope of money. She took it and opened it, giving a quick count of the bills. She smiled fondly, if a bit exasperatedly.

“Ruki-ba-san always gives me way over my asking price,” she sighed. “Guess that’s how she spoils me.” She handed the envelope to Tanpopo, who flew off with it. “I’ll have everything done in a few weeks. Shouldn’t take too long, but I’ll try to finish before the cold really hits.”

“Take your time,” I insisted. “I’d rather wait longer for really high quality stuff than have you rush and make mistakes.”

Kasasagi grinned. “And that’s why you’re my favorite cousin.”

 

I found myself at my team’s old training grounds the next day. I wasn’t going to let what Iruka say to me go to waste. I had to train. I scuffed two lines in the dirt on either side of the grounds. Then, I pulled a small metronome out of my pocket. I’d found it in my father’s study when I went snooping that first week. I didn’t really know why he had it but it would suit my purposes just fine so I didn’t particularly care. I set the metronome on a nearby rock, starting the arm on a slow pace. I moved to stand behind the line closest to the metronome, listening to the slow tick-tocking sound. 

Tick.

I sprinted across the field. 

Tock.

My foot slid across the line just after the metronome sounded again. I growled and waited for the arm to swing back up.

Tick.

I ran faster. My foot slammed down onto the line just before…

Tock.

I turned and dashed across the field again, pumping my legs faster this time. I crossed the line.

Tick.

I paused to accelerate the metronome. The tick-tock-tick-tock rang in my ears as I raced back and forth across the field, legs and lungs burning. My noises of frustration filled the air whenever I couldn’t make it, and that was far more common than I liked.

The metronome kept ticking as I panted and gasped, bent over and grasping at my knees. I glanced up at the sound of footsteps approaching, and was surprised to see Noboru-sensei and Gai enter the training grounds hand-in-hand.

“Hello, Kourubi,” Noboru-sensei greeted, a bright smile on his face. “It’s been a while hasn’t it. Doing some training?”

I nodded, swallowing thickly. “Speed training.”

Noboru looked over to the metronome on the rock with a bemused frown on his face. “Using the academy’s pacer test method?”

I shrugged shyly. “It was the first thing I could think of.”

Gai rubbed thoughtfully at his chin. “Perhaps, young Kourubi, you could benefit from the training method I prescribed Lee.”

I stood a little straighter, my panting less pronounced. “The leg weights? You try to put me in those and I’ll never be able to move my feet. I saw the craters those things made!”

Noboru laughed. “He wouldn’t start you off in something that intense, Kourubi. Right, Gai?”

“Of course not!” Gai huffed. “That would only discourage you, and I will not steal the fire of your Youth in such a manner. Besides, Lee worked long and hard to be able to move as he does in weights like that. No, but I can bring you some of his starting weights.”

“That’s…that’s really nice of you, Gai-sensei,” I said, a feeling of warmth filling my gut. “I’d appreciate it.”

“Of course! Anything to help my beloved Noboru’s precious students!” Gai bellowed, giving me his trademark thumbs up. 

“Actually, it’s pretty lucky we ran into you here.” Noboru-sensei cut in. “Me, Gai, and the other jonin sensei have decided to hold a joint practice at the end of the week at 3 o’clock sharp. We’ll be meeting up here. You’ll be able to make it, right?”

“I don’t have any plans,” I informed him blithely. “Besides, it’ll be good to train with Mai and Ryou again. It’s been too long.”

Noboru let out a sigh. “Indeed.” He shook away the air of sadness that’d fallen over him. “Anyway, we’ll let you get back to your training. We’ll see you soon, Kourubi.”

And once again I was left with nothing but the tick-tock-tick of the metronome. 

 

I wore my new shirt to the joint practice, reveling in the warmth of it as a cold wind blew through the training grounds. I held back a laugh as Sasuke tried desperately to look like he wasn’t shivering. He’d even taken to wearing those dumb arm warmers he used to wear all the time, but they didn’t do much. 

Lee immediately latched onto Sasuke when we arrived, dragging him over to where he and Sakura had been conversing. I couldn’t help but stare as Sasuke just let it happen. His usual scowl seemed to soften into a more thoughtful frown. It was nice to see him open up to the others, even if it was just a little bit. He still rarely smiled at anyone, save only for my parents and myself. And Ryou’s cats. But they didn’t count.

“Hey.” Ryou and Mai appeared suddenly at my sides, leaning casually against me. Mai pointed towards where the jonin were standing and conversing. “Look who’s talking to your bae.”

I looked over to see Noboru-sensei talking with Kakashi. Noboru-sensei’s back was to me, and he didn’t seem to notice when Kakashi glanced over his shoulder at me. I gave him a small wave that he didn’t return, but the way his eye sparkled told me he was happy to see me regardless. 

“Does he know?” Ryou asked. “About you and your harem, I mean.”

“Two people is hardly a harem,” I corrected, not taking my eyes off sensei and Kakashi. “But if he does know, he hasn’t heard it from me.”

“He probably does know,” Ryou informed me blithely. “The jonin have a particularly active gossip vine. I swear I can’t spend five minutes with my senpai at the hospital without her wanting to tell me all the rumors she’s heard.”

“Well, even if he has heard I’m seeing Kakashi, he’s probably also heard I’m seeing Iruka,” I said. “Out of the two, he’s more likely to believe I’m seeing Iruka.”

Mai and Ryou hummed thoughtfully. Mai nudged me with her elbow. “So are you going to tell him?”

I smirked. “Did he tell us about his boyfriend?”

Mai grinned. “No. No he did not.”

I shrugged. “Then I don’t have to tell him about mine.”

“He’ll find out eventually,” Ryou agreed. “I can’t wait to see his reaction when he does.”

I shook a little with silent laughter. Knowing Noboru-sensei, he’d probably freak out. I finally turned to look at Mai. I hadn’t seen her in a long while. I had to do a bit of a double take at what I saw.

“Hey, Mai?”

“Hmm?”

“What’s with the thing on your forehead?” I asked, tapping the spot on my forehead to correlate to the pale lavender diamond that marked Mai’s brow.

“Oh, that.” Mai’s hand reached up to brush her curly-wavy hair out of the way to give me a better view. “It’s a chakra storage seal. Noboru-sensei has been working on my chakra control with me, since I’m shit at it. He said that it would be a good idea if I had a back up supply of chakra in case I ran out in the field. So everyday I put a little bit of chakra into the seal and it hangs onto it for me.”

“You look like Tsunade-hime,” I told her, meaning for it to be a complement.

Mai let her hair fall back and grinned wildly. “No one else I’d rather be!”

“Alright, everyone!” Our attention was drawn to our teachers by Noboru-sensei’s voice. “Thank you all for making it to the joint practice. Today we’ll be working on stealth and tracking. One team will be hiding in the village while the others attempt to track them down.”

“That seems a little excessive,” Sakura murmured from off to the side. “Wouldn’t it make more sense to split us evenly?” 

“Were we recreating a war-time situation, perhaps,” Kakashi admitted. “But since it’s far more likely that you’ll be tracking small insurgent groups or be apart of said small team against a large number of enemies, this is a better scenario.”

We nodded in agreement. It made sense. Any mission where tracking was involved was generally centered on a single person or small group. As for hiding…if you were the one being tracked it was likely that a large group would be after you. 

“So it was decided that team 3 will be the ones hiding,” Noboru-sensei informed us.

The kids all turned to stare at us.

“How’d you figure that one out?” Mai drawled.

“We drew straws,” Asuma said bluntly. “Whoever drew the shortest straw had to hide.”

Mai looked thoughtful for a moment before a sly grin slid across her face. “Do we have to hide individually?”

Kurenai shook her head. “All we ask is that you remain inside the village walls.”

There was a sparkle in Mai’s eyes that said she had something planned. 

“The trackers will have two hours to find the hiders,” Noboru said. “Hiders have a thirty minute head start. Starting…now!”

Mai reached out and grabbed Ryou and me by our wrists and took off, dragging us behind her. We bounded after her over rooftops and sailed over the streets. I wondered, as we traveled, where Mai was taking us. Then, we paused at the edge of a district I’d never visited previously. From the gate hung a string of bright, red lanterns. 

“Mai…” I called her name softly. She turned to me with a wry smile and bounded off again, going further into the Red Light District. 

Ryou and I glanced at each other before taking off after her. We stopped just outside a rather large and fancy looking brothel. Beside the door was a small sign with a simple painting of a daisy on it. Mai ducked down the alleyway beside the building, walking along the white, graffiti covered wall that encased the building and what appeared to be a small garden behind it. She glanced over her shoulder to smirk at us before hopping the wall. Ryou and I simply stared at the wall; unsure whether or not we should follow her.

Mai’s head popped up over the wall after a short moment. “You coming or what?”

Swallowing down my doubts, I jumped the wall as well, Ryou just behind me. The garden was very nice, considering the district we were in. It wasn’t as opulent as a garden you’d find at a merchant’s home, or even the one kaa-san kept back home, but it was well kept and colorful. Sitting on the back porch of the brothel was an older woman with warm, brown eyes just like Mai’s. 

“Well, well,” the woman chuckled, “If I had known you were bringing guests home, I would have been more prepared.”

“Don’t worry too hard about it, kaa-chan,” Mai said. “We’re just hiding from the kiddos for two hours to win a training exercise.”

“Better come inside then,” Mai’s mother offered, standing and brushing off the bottom of her kimono. “It won’t do if you win the game but end up sick from being in the cold too long.”

She turned and opened the door into some back hallway of the brothel. As we followed, I tugged on the hem of Mai’s shirt to catch her attention.

“Mai…who is…?”

“Ah, I guess I should probably introduce you,” Mai admitted. “This is my mom, better known in the village as Madame Hinagiku.” 

“Call me Naoko,” Mai’s mother called over her shoulder. “Hinagiku is more of a title than anything else. Whoever is the Madame of the brothel uses the name.” 

We climbed a narrow flight of stairs before being led into what appeared to be a small apartment. Two blue couches faced a wall of windows; to the right was a small kitchen with a breakfast bar. I could see little else, but it was decorated nicely, if a bit plainly. Naoko waved us towards the couches.

“Make yourselves comfortable. If you really want to hide, I suggest you draw the curtains. Oh, tou-san left some melon bread for you, Mai.”

“Bitchin’!” Mai exclaimed, making a beeline for the kitchen and coming back with a plate of melon bread. She set it down on the glass coffee table and pulled the curtains shut. She then stuffed a piece of melon bread in her mouth, making a down right sexual noise at the taste. 

“So...you live here?” I asked, feeling very awkward about the whole situation. I know Mai had mentioned how I lived far from the Red Light District, but I always assumed that meant she lived near it, in the cheap housing projects that dotted the streets around the entrance. 

“Sometimes,” Mai said with a shrug, plopping down onto the couch. “I also have one of those matchbox apartments you get assigned by the village for being a ninja, if you want one that is. When I don’t feel like cooking or sitting in a five by eight room, I come here and hang. Besides, the girls need someone around here who will kick ass if necessary. Other than Haruka and Makoto, that is.”

I made a sort of ‘ah’ noise in acknowledgement. Ryou shifted next to me on the couch, a frown on his face and his arms crossed tightly across his chest.

“Would you…would you have had to…you know…?” He didn’t seem to want to say it, whatever it was he wanted to ask.

“Work the house?” Mai offered. “Fuck people for money? Probably, if I wanted to inherit the title from kaa-chan. But I’ve seen the way the girls get treated by men. They’re stronger than I’ll ever be ‘cause they can put up with it with a damn smile night after night. But me, I said ‘fuck that’ and had kaa-chan and tou-chan sign me up for the Academy. The girls were always really supportive. They all wanted to hear what I’d learn and to be shown the taijutsu stances I was practicing at school. They always wanna hear about my adventures when I come back from a mission. I love ‘em to death, but I could never do what they do. Not in the same sense, anyway.”

Ryou’s brows furrowed. “What do you mean ‘not in the same sense’?” 

Mai’s face turned stony. “I am fully aware that in running from a profession that only values me for my body, I joined another profession that only values me for my body.”

My lips pressed into a tight, thin line at her words. She wasn’t wrong…and that was the worst part. There was no room to value people in the world of shinobi, only their skills. That’s why the Kage was the strongest ninja in the village, even if their morals were skewed or their personality was horrible. It didn’t matter who the person was, it mattered what they could do. How many enemy combatants they could kill. 

“Well,” Ryou muttered, “It’s not the worst family situation.”

I wracked my brain, searching for any memory – any hint – that Mai had told us before about her home life. There was nothing. Just vague, non-answers to questions young, curious Kourubi had asked. Because Kourubi…I was all about family. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

Mai’s stony expression softened a bit, but the bitter smile she gave me was hard to look at. “You two came from powerful, important families in the village. I just…didn’t want you to look down on me.”

The fact she assumed that hurt more than I expected it to. “Did you really think we’d do that?”

Mai shrugged. “I didn’t know at first. But even after we’d come to be friends…I don’t know. It never came up.”

“If anything, I think I have more respect for you now,” I assured her. 

She shifted in her chair, a tiny smile on her lips as she ducked her head. “Thanks.”

There was a sudden banging on the door, causing the three of us to jump out of our skin. Naoko rushed to the door, throwing it open to reveal a small woman with short blue hair and big blue eyes.

“What’s wrong, Ami?” Naoko asked, her voice firm but gentle.

“S-someone is assaulting Usagi-ch-chan,” Ami sputtered, looking for the world like she was about to have a panic attack. “He w-wanted something that she won’t d-do and he got m-mad.”

Mai was on her feet in seconds, pushing past her mother and Ami and rushing down the hall. I shared a quick glance with Ryou before jumping up and following after her. We passed by several different colored doors. A few of the other girls peeked out from their rooms at the sounds of yelling and crying. At the end of the hall, standing outside a pastel pink door, was a young woman not much older than I was with long blonde hair and sky blue eyes being held against a wall by a bearded man nearly twice her size. For a moment, I almost thought that the man had Naruto pinned to the wall, that the boy had gotten in trouble while using his Sexy Jutsu or whatever he called it. I had to remind myself that Naruto was gone, that he’d been gone for months. That he’d stay gone for many months more. 

Mai’s hands were around the man’s arm before he even knew she was there. I ducked in to tug Usagi back away from the confrontation, placing Ryou and myself between her and the man Mai had in her grip.

“Listen, you shit stain,” Mai hissed dangerously. “If you wanna play rough, we have two lovely ladies who will be more than happy to do that for you. For the right price, that is. But if you’re gonna fuck our ladies, you gotta follow our ladies’ rules. If not, you deal with me.”

“Fuck you, you bitch,” the man slurred. Someone had been drinking heavily. “I’m a paying customer. I should get to fuck whoever I want, however I want!”

“If you want something like that, you’ll have to visit a different establishment,” Naoko informed him from behind us.

“Is this how you treat loyal customers?” The man demanded, spit flying from his mouth and landing in his beard. Gross. “I autta gut every last one of you! Filthy, stinking whores! You think you’re better than me? You’re nothing!”

There was a snapping sound before the air filled with the man’s pained screams. Mai dropped his now broken arm, letting it hand from his side at an unnatural angle. 

“I would have broken your leg, but then you couldn’t get the fuck out.” Her voice was smooth and cold, and it sent chills down my spine. “Never come back. If you do, I’ll break something far more important than your arm.”

The man stumbled away, spitting and cursing the whole way. 

“I’m going to make sure he actually leaves,” Naoko informed us, pushing passed to follow the man.

Mai turned to the girl she’d just saved. “You alright, Usagi?”

“Oh, yes. Thanks for that,” Usagi said breathlessly. “I hate it when they get rough like that. I’m too pale to look pretty with bruises. Not like Makoto…wait a minute.” Usagi turned to stare at me with her too big, too blue eyes. “You look a lot like Makoto, actually. Wrong eye color, but the height is about the same, same musculature, too. Huh. You’re a Karasuno, aren’t you? I mean, why else would you wear feathers? Do you know a guy named Fukuro?”

“He’s a distant relation.”

“Distant enough to marry?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Well, now everything makes sense,” Usagi laughed. “If I had to guess, he’s using Makoto as an outlet for whatever frustrations he has towards you, sexual or otherwise.”

The idea made me sick to my stomach. It was bad enough Fukuro wanted to marry me, probably for politics sake and nothing more, but the fact he was taking out his frustration that I wouldn’t give him the time of day on some random girl in the Red Light District just because she looked like me rubbed me in all the wrong ways. I wanted to find this Makoto and tell her how sorry I was. I wanted to hunt down Fukuro and give him the ass kicking he deserved for being such a damn creep. I wanted to not be clan head. If I wasn’t, Fukuro wouldn’t have any reason to want to marry me, wouldn’t have a reason to hunt down a girl in Naoko’s brothel to rough up because if he tried that with me he’d never get away with it. 

Mai seemed to notice my discomfort. “Usagi, knock it off. You may be kaa-chan’s favorite but that doesn’t mean you can freak out my friends.”

Usagi flinched, finally noticing the affect her words were having on me. “Oh, I’m sorry. Madame Hinagiku says I have no filter. Just forget I said anything.”

I didn’t think I could forget it even if I wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A dozen internet cookies for anyone who got the reference for Madame Hinagiku and her girls.


	17. In Which I Spend a Lot of Time at Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody, I'm back again. I'm honestly amazed I've been able to keep up with this schedule for so long. Anyway, just wanted to announce a few things. I've started up an official tumblr blog for this fic and its AUs/side stories [find it here!](http://melodyfromanotherworld.tumblr.com/) If you have questions about the characters or come across something that reminds you of Team 3 or anything like that, come share it with me. I'll be posting links to updates and such over there as well!
> 
> Second announcement: I'll be participating in NaNoWriMo again this year, and I'm really hoping to actually win. Don't worry, I've written ahead enough that you won't go without the every other week updates for November at least. I'm trying really hard to get the chapter for December's first update done before Halloween, but if there's a little hiccup in the schedule come December, I apologize in advance. 
> 
> Okay, that's all I got! Enjoy!

I found myself sat in my father’s study at his impressively large desk, reading a tome of clan history along to his lesson. After my patrol mission not too long ago, tou-san had begun what he called ‘clan head lessons.’ History, politics, economics – tou-san crammed as much as he could into every lesson. I was the first woman to be head of the clan; he didn’t want anyone to be able to claim I was ill prepared. 

“At any time, you will be able to call upon the clan council and ask for their guidance,” tou-san instructed. “Before the village was founded this was used when forging alliances. Nowadays, such meetings are more commonly used for hashing out trade agreements.”

One of my eyebrows quirked at this. “Isn’t that the prerogative of the village?” 

“For trading outside the Land of Fire, it is,” he agreed. “But within the Land of Fire or even Konoha itself, clans forge trade agreements amongst themselves without the interference of the village…usually.” 

I hummed in understanding. It made sense. Clans were large, political entities, each with their own micro economies. No one clan could be expected to supply everything for itself, especially not luxury goods. Some clans would be better at producing specific goods, like the Nara clan’s medicines. But those medicines relied on the Yamanaka’s green houses and the exotic plants they grew there. 

“Can you name the clan’s two largest industries?” tou-san asked.

I thought carefully. It couldn’t be pharmaceuticals. That was the Nara’s domain. It wasn’t agriculture either. The only farms owned by the clan were fairly small, subsistence farms that only really grew enough for the clan, maybe a tiny bit more. No, the Akimichi were farmers, the Nara and Yamanaka too. Metalworking had been the Uchiha’s main industry before the clan’s untimely end, after which the Hyuuga and Sarutobi clans had taken over. Animal husbandry had always been the Inuzuka’s thing. Which left…

“Textiles?” I guessed. It would make sense, given the high quality of the clothes Kasasagi produced. 

“That’s right. And the other?”

I floundered. “Brewing?”

Tou-san laughed. “No. The Yamanaka would kill us if we tried that. Printing, Kourubi-chan. There are four major printing houses in Konoha. We own three of them.”

I hadn’t even thought of that. I supposed, in hindsight, that would explain why so many bookstores in the village were run by the clan. It was easy to supply books to them when we were the ones printing all of them. Who owned the fourth then?

“What about the last one?” I asked.

“The Hatake had owned it at one point,” he answered. “I think the Aburame own it now.”

Kakashi’s clan was in the printing business? Why did he give it up, what with his love of those dumb smut books Jiraiya wrote? Or had they lost it before he was born? As far as I knew, Kakashi was the last member of his clan alive. I was filled with the sudden desire to get that printing house back for him. But without an heir, it would just fall into the hands of some other clan once Kakashi died. Unless I gave him an heir…

I shook my head, chasing away that thought as fast as I could. But that did bring a new thought to my mind.

“Tou-san…” My voice sounded small in my ears. “If…if I don’t find someone to marry on my own…would you arrange a marriage for me?” 

Tou-san seemed taken aback by the question. “Where’s this coming from?”

I averted my gaze back down to the book on the desk. “I hear stuff. People aren’t exactly quiet when they gossip around here. Especially when they’re talking about me.”

Tou-san frowned, apparently saddened by the idea that I was taking the gossip of old fogeys to heart. He sat down in his chair across the desk from me, hands folded on the wood. “Your mother and I have discussed the idea of setting up omiai for you if it came down to that, but no. We wouldn’t have gone to someone like the Nekozawas if that’s what you’re concerned about.”

I hesitated before asking my next question. “Would...would Fukuro be someone you’d want me to consider?”

He considered the question for a moment, leaning back in his chair to stare at the ceiling in thought. “Perhaps. You and he have a similar relation to your mother and I. Family, certainly, but in such a way that one wonders if you share any blood at all. And Isoshigi-san keeps insisted about how fond he is of you…”

I laughed at that, an angry, bitter sound. “Yeah. So fond of me that he goes out seeking women in the Red Light District that look like me so he can rough them up.”

Tou-san had to catch himself on the desk to keep from falling out of his chair. “W-what?”

“During the joint practice, Mai let us hide at her mom’s place in the Red Light District. Some guy was messing with one of the girls and Mai stepped in. Usagi, that’s the girl she saved, started babbling about how I looked like one of the girls there that…’plays rough’. Apparently, Fukuro visits her a lot.”

My father frowned heavily, looking troubled by what I’d told him.

“And besides, he’s always coming around and voicing his opinion when I never asked for it!” I spat, anger surging in my veins as I recalled every fucking time he’d done so. “He just waltzes in, uninvited, and tells me how everything is wrong. How Sasuke shouldn’t be here. How he shouldn’t be learning our kenjutsu. How I’m too naïve if I think he actually sees me as family. That I’ll see he’s right when he marries me. That I need to get over my ‘silly crush’ on Iruka and Kakashi, because he’s the only one that’s right for me. That he’s my destiny and if you and kaa-san had any sense you’d chase everyone else off and just arrange the engagement already. I HATE HIM!”

My hands slammed down on the desk, causing the loose pens and random paperwork to jump at the force of it. I forced my anger back down. There was no point exploding at tou-san, he didn’t do anything wrong. Perhaps he’d been negligent in not noticing how I felt about Fukuro, but that wasn’t entirely his fault. He was on missions a lot of the time, and Fukuro never said things loud enough for anyone but me to hear. 

“I’m sorry.” My gaze shot up to meet my father’s. He seemed far older suddenly, more weary. “I should have noticed. You’re my daughter; I should be able to tell when someone is upsetting you. Don’t worry, no matter what happens with you and Kakashi and Iruka, I will never allow Fukuro to ask for your hand.”

My anger cooled, the tension in my shoulders melting at his words. If the other men of the clan shared Fukuro’s views, at least I had tou-san on my side. 

“Thank you.”

 

“…and then we went on to talk about how I’d choose my own council members once I actually took over as clan head,” I told Ryou as I parried Sasuke’s strike with my wooden tanto. Kaa-san started us on the short blade style of Karasuno kenjutsu just the other day. I seemed to embrace the style far quicker than Sasuke did, who preferred the power behind the long blade style. 

Ryou, who had been visiting far more regularly since Umeko came into his custody, hummed in acknowledgement. His eyes remained on Umeko as the energetic infant crawled around the room, chasing after Cheesecake. The big cream-colored Maine Coon seemed very fond of the child, or at the very least was very patient with her.

“You’re pretty lucky your dad was so understanding,” Ryou said quietly. “If you were born into a civilian noble family, he might have just told you to suck it up if Fukuro ended up being the most advantageous marriage partner.”

I kicked Sasuke away, earning me a brief moment to meet Ryou’s gaze. He seemed envious, and given what I knew about his family, I couldn’t blame him. Ryou hadn’t been nearly as secretive about his family as Mai had in our youth. It was hard to be when his family was famous throughout the Land of Fire. Or infamous, depending on your point of view. The Nekozawa were a family of matchmakers. They arranged marriages for the young children of noble families and rich merchants who liked to think they were noble. The entire family was involved with the industry. Well, the entire family save for Ryou. I was fuzzy on the details, but like Mai, Ryou had become a shinobi to escape a world he didn’t want to be a part of. I…Kourubi remembered Ryou saving every penny of his wages to move out of his family’s manor, hiding it all away until he left at age fourteen. Too young to be living on your own…but at least he had been older than Naruto and Sasuke – older than Iruka and Kakashi – had been when they were left alone. At least he’d done it by choice. 

“Do they know about Umeko?” I asked as Sasuke returned to striking distance, stabbing forward with his wooden tanto as I spun away and ‘slashed’ at his arm. 

“No,” Ryou admitted, his voice turning bitter. “And they never will if I have anything to say about it. The only reason they know about Genma is because I didn’t know they were in the same restaurant as us until it was too late. They hate him, you know. Think he’s some kind of corrupting influence.”

I laughed. “Oh, if only they knew the truth.” In all honesty, Genma was a mellowing presence in Ryou’s life. He was surprisingly responsible, even if he did snark like there was no tomorrow, and he kept a far cooler head under pressure than Ryou ever would. Umeko seemed to love him, which was only ever a good sign. I didn’t trust people that scared tiny children. And as much as Ryou liked to insist he wasn’t good with kids and didn’t like them, I’d never seen one outright hate him. 

“I don’t get it,” Sasuke panted, finally growing tired of his assault. “Why don’t you want them to meet her?”

Ryou scowled. “Because they’ll just want to snatch her away! They’ll hide it behind concern, like they always do.” He pitched his voice up in some mockery of a female speaker. “’Oh, Ryou darling, but if we took her in she could go to all the finest schools.’ ‘But don’t you want what’s best for her, darling?’ ‘Her mother was a civilian, so it only makes sense that civilians raise her.’ ‘Besides, you’re always so busy with missions and the hospital, you don’t have time to raise a child.’” His voice lowered again as he flat out growled in anger. “And all we want in exchange is total control of her future.”

Sasuke paled considerably at the implications Ryou set before him. “Are they actually like that?”

“I heard shit like that every day of my life before I got out of there,” Ryou hissed. “’But, Ryou, being a ninja is so scary. Wouldn’t it be better if you were part of the family business like everyone else?’ ‘Darling, it’s okay to like boys as long as you know you’ll be marrying a woman in the end. The family needs heirs after all.’ ‘We just want what’s best for you. And what’s best for the family is what’s best for you. You’ll understand when you get older.’ Oh, I understand alright.”

Sasuke shifted uncomfortably. I wondered if he saw his own ideals about family twisted and corrupted in the words Ryou said. His obsession with restoring his clan, with making it strong again, could easily be compared with Ryou’s family’s obsession with heirs and keeping the whole family under the thumb of their industry. 

I set a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Remember, little lion man, there’s a difference between putting family first, and putting the idea of family first. Wanting to keep the people you care about safe is very different from wanting everything to appear perfect and pristine.”

Sasuke nodded, his face pensive. I huffed and reached up to ruffle his hair. It’d gotten longer recently. If I tried, I could probably braid feathers into his hair just like how I wore mine. He’d also gotten taller. I’d had to rush new measurements to Kasasagi so that his new clothes wouldn’t be too small when he got them. 

“Don’t think too hard on it,” I told him. “Or do, I can’t really stop you.”

Sasuke gave me the tiniest flash of a smile before the sound of someone hopping the garden wall caught his attention. I wasn’t as quick on the uptake and I found myself nearly bowled over by a small blur. Nearly, save for the weights on my ankles keeping me in place. Never had I been more grateful for Gai-sensei’s old-fashioned training methods.

“Onee-chan!” Konohamaru’s exuberant voice reached my ears, letting me know the exact identity of my assailant. “I’ve come to play ninja!”

I looked down into big, dark eyes as Konohamaru smiled up at me, looking dreadfully eager. Sasuke scowled at our new visitor.

“You don’t ‘play’ ninja,” he muttered under his breath. If Konohamaru heard him, he decided to ignore him. 

I sent Sasuke a look that told him on no uncertain terms that he needed to play nice. I reached up to fix Konohamaru’s giant blue scarf that threatened to fall from his shoulders, wrapping it tight against the wind that promised a particularly cold winter. 

“Sorry, kiddo,” I apologized. “I would, but I’m training with Sasuke right now. But, I bet Umeko would love a new playmate. And I’m sure Cheesecake would like a break.”

“Yes, please,” the cat muttered, dodging Umeko’s grabby hands. 

“Umeko?” Konohamaru echoed, as if tasting the name on his tongue.

Ryou chuckled. “Over here.” He waved Konohamaru over and I watched as the not-yet-genin wandered towards the house. Ryou pulled Umeko into his lap, raising her chubby baby arm to wave at Konohamaru. “This is Umeko. Umeko, this is Konohamaru.”

Umeko gurgled and babbled, trying to mimic the sounds Ryou had made. It sounded like nonsense, but at least she tried. Konohamaru sat in front of them; his eyes wide with something like awe. He held out his hands and Umeko slapped at them, squealing. Ryou let her go and she practically fell into Konohamaru’s arms. He helped her stand, watching her wobble as she attempted to keep balanced, her babbling continuing without pause. His awe morphed into absolute glee. 

“I love her!” he insisted, his voice coming out in a squeak. 

Ryou laughed outright at that, the anger he’d be feeling flying away with the sound. “I don’t doubt it. She’s very lovable. When she’s not being a handful, I mean.” 

I gazed on as Konohamaru played with Umeko, swapping frequently between some approximation of patty-cake and peekaboo and just plain making silly faces. Now it was my turn to feel envious. Ryou, without even trying, without even wanting to, had reached a goal I had long since given up on achieving. 

Something smacked lightly at my arm and I turned to meet Sasuke’s questioning gaze. I gave him a small smile, burying those thoughts for now. Right now, I had an impatient little brother to worry about. 

 

We sat around the low kotatsu tou-san had set up in what one could call the house’s lounge. Sasuke blocked my view of the frost-covered garden from beyond the open shoji. Ryou sat at my left, sipping a cup of warm tea. Mai was on my right, munching at bag of ginger snaps she’d brought over, dipping one into her tea every so often before popping it into her mouth. I pillowed my head on my arms as I lay them across the top of the kotatsu. Winter was officially upon us. Thankfully, Kasasagi has delivered our new clothes just before the cold had descended on the village, just as she promised. 

“Kourubi-chan?” I lifted my head as kaa-san wandered into the room, several small boxes of something in her hand. “There you are. Ah, hello, Ryou-kun, Mai-chan. Where’s Umeko-chan, Ryou-kun?”

“Um, about that…” Ryou laughed nervously. “So, Tsunade-sama caught me carrying Umeko around the hospital while I was on shift…”

“Why the hell did you bring her to the hospital?!” I shouted. “Babies don’t have the immune system to withstand being bombarded by all that gross sickness! You’re a doctor, you should know this!”

“I never got any where near anyone sick, so shush,” Ryou dismissed. “Anyway, Tsunade-sama saw me with her and flipped her lid like you did. But there wasn’t really anything I could do. Genma was out of the village on a mission and I can’t really afford to send Umeko to daycare. She’s too young for it even if I could afford it. So I explain all this to Tsunade and when Genma gets back from his mission she calls us both in to the office and I’m panicking thinking she’s gonna chew us out but then she turns around and offers Genma a position as one of her aides. Which means he’s not gonna be leaving the village any time soon. So, long story short, Umeko’s with Genma right now.”

“That’s…really cool of her,” Mai commented. “Being her aide makes for a more steady income for him anyway, just like a hospital position. Keep this up and you might be able to pay to send Umeko to daycare when she’s old enough.”

“Yep, so she can go there instead of hanging out in a playpen one of the civilian employees gave Genma,” Ryou agreed. “Not that he doesn’t like having her there. But she’s not exactly conducive to a productive workplace. Plus, I don’t want to think about her being in danger if anyone actually goes after the Hokage.”

We hummed in agreement before I turned back to my mother, eyeing whatever it was she held in her hand. “What’s that?”

Kaa-san glanced at the boxes in her hand, as if suddenly remember she was holding them. “Ah, I had to run by the hospital today and figured I’d talk with your doctor about changing your birth control prescription, seeing as you’re a chunin now and all. It won’t be ready for a few days but in the mean time she gave me these.”

She set the long, thin boxes in front of me. Sample packs, three of them. Sasuke’s eyebrows shot up and his face went a little red. I supposed he was too young to have thought too hard about this. I knew birth control had been mentioned fairly frequently in the academy in the kunoichi classes, but I doubted it was talked about at all in the boy’s classes. 

Birth control came in two forms in the shinobi world: long term injections and daily pills. The injections were purely for shinobi use, and almost entirely confined to use during long term undercover missions. Each injection lasted around three months and could easily be administered by someone without medical training in an emergency, almost like an epi pen from Before. The pills came in three different doses: a low dosage that was usually only used by civilian women, a slightly stronger dosage that genin and village-bound shinobi would use, and a much stronger dosage that was used by chunin rank or anyone who tended to be out of the village for longer than two or three days at a time. The strongest pill had the nice effect of making it so you just…didn’t get a period. It would make sense that shinobi would want this sort of thing; suddenly beginning to bleed from your vagina while you were out in the wilderness wasn’t something anyone wanted. 

“I figured since you’re a chunin now, you might want to up the dosage,” kaa-san explained. Her lips slipped into a teasing smile. “And with lovers like Kakashi-san and Iruka-sensei…”

“THANK YOU, KAA-SAN! YOU CAN LEAVE NOW!” I jumped up from the kotatsu and pushed my mother out of the room with her laughing at me the whole way. I groaned in embarrassment as I returned to the kotatsu, slipping under it and pulling the blanket up and over my head to hide. 

“Aw, c’mon, don’t be like that,” Ryou teased. “We all know you’re a blushing virgin anyway.”

“She better be.”

I sat up stiffly, glaring at the source of the interruption. Fukuro stood on the engawa, staring down his nose at us. He quickly slipped his shoes off so he could walk into the room without worrying about facing my mother’s wrath. 

“The clan head should set a good example for the young women of the clan,” Fukuro continued. “Which means remaining pure until the time of marriage.”

“Well, it’s a good thing you’ll never be clan head, then,” I hissed. “Because from what I hear, you’re not exactly ‘pure’ yourself.”

Fukuro stiffened, his ironically pretty hazel eyes darkening. 

“Besides,” I continued, keeping my tone as casual as possible, “It’s not like I’m going to marrying you, so I guess your opinion on that sort of thing doesn’t really matter. Now does it?”

“Don’t be daft, of course you’ll be marrying me,” Fukuro insisted. “I’ve known you since you were too young to hold a kunai, let alone throw one. Who could possibly be a better husband for you?”

“Just about anyone,” Mai muttered under her breath. 

Fukuro shot her a glare before turning back to me; his eyes landing on the boxes of birth control kaa-san had left on the table. His lips twisted into a scowl at the sight.

“Those aren’t yours, are they, Kourubi?” he asked, his voice deceptively sweet.

“Of course they are,” I said, reaching out to pull the boxes closer to me. “Is that a problem?”

“You shouldn’t take those things,” Fukuro informed me. “They’ll give people the wrong idea.”

“That I’m a ninja who goes on long missions and needs to not bleed into my panties while out in the wilderness?” I asked sarcastically. 

“It’s practically poison for your uterus,” Fukuro fumed. “It will kill your fertility. Take those and you’ll never be able to have a child, and then what will happen to the Karasuno head family?”

“Look, shit fucker,” Ryou snapped. “As a medical professional, I can tell you that’s flat out wrong.”

“My mom’s been taking birth control since she was twelve and I exist,” Mai cut in. “And trust me, she did not have to try very hard to conceive.” 

Fukuro sniffed. “Regardless, it still makes you look like a slu-“

Fukuro didn’t even get to finish his sentence before Sasuke was up on his feet and punching my cousin right in the face, sending him back onto the engawa. Ryou and Mai cheered loudly, their ‘oooohhhhhhhhhhhh’ resounding through the house and bringing kaa-san running into the room. I just sat and stared, watching the righteous indignation play out on Sasuke’s face. 

“Don’t talk to her like that!” Sasuke shouted, his voice ragged, sounding more like a growl than a true shout. 

Fukuro sat up, a bruise blooming over his cheekbone. “You brat! This doesn’t even concern you! Stay out of Karasuno business.”

Kaa-san stepped fully into the room, killing intent radiating off of her in waves. It wasn’t as suffocating as Orochimaru’s, but it was tangible in the air. Fukuro cowered at her presence. No one messed with kaa-san.

“Sasuke-kun is just as much part of this family as you are,” she informed him icily. “He certainly acts more like Kourubi-chan’s family than you do, Fu-ku-ro-kun.” The smile she flashed him was all ice and daggers. “I believe its time for you to leave. And take some time to think about your actions before you even think about coming back.”

Fukuro barely managed to put his shoes on before scrambling away like a rabbit from a hawk. 

 

I’d never been one for New Years parties Before. I’d never been one for parties in general, really. But this…sitting between Iruka and Kakashi as the people I cared about talked and laughed and drank… this was nice. It was a relatively small affair. Sasuke couldn’t escape the party once kaa-san had found out about the idea. He sat in a corner, talking quietly with Sakura and Lee. Well, he and Sakura were talking quietly. I highly doubted that Lee could do anything quietly. Lee had come because Noboru-sensei had brought Gai with him, and where Gai went, Lee was sure to follow. The two of them sat across the kitchen table from tou-san and kaa-san, the shoji having been all opened up so that guests could move about the lower floor freely. Ryou had brought Genma and Umeko, though Umeko had long since fallen asleep. Mai spent most of the night talking with the two of them, though occasionally she got up to chat briefly with Gai and Noboru or to slink over and interrupt whatever conversation Sasuke and the others were having. 

I sat on the engawa with Kakashi and Iruka, waiting impatiently for the fireworks. Konoha always put on a brilliant fireworks display to ring in the New Year. My knee bounced anxiously as I stared up at the starry, cloudless night. It was cold out, and the three of us were wrapped in a large quilt, each holding a warm drink to chase away the chill. 

I turned at the sound of footsteps to see Noboru-sensei coming our way with another cup of spiced tea to replace my nearly empty one. “It should be starting soon. Just a few more minutes.”

“Aaahhh, I can’t wait!” My knee was bouncing so much it was practically vibrating. Kakashi brought his hand down to rest on it in an attempt to get me to calm down. I stuck my tongue out at him as I traded my empty teacup for the full one Noboru-sensei offered.

Sensei just chuckled. “I forgot how excited you get over fireworks. I haven’t watched them with you since our first New Year’s together as a team.”

“You mean that time Ryou almost drowned bobbing for apples at the festival?” Mai shouted loudly from inside the house, purely just to embarrass Ryou. 

“Why are you like this?” Ryou groaned, his head falling back against the couch as his hand came up to hide his face in shame. Genma rubbed soothingly at his neck, pulling Ryou towards him so he could place a kiss on his cheek without moving Umeko, who rested against his shoulder.

Noboru laughed some more. “At least you didn’t make a grown chunin cry by kicking him in the balls purely to steal his takoyaki.”

“It wasn’t just to steal his takoyaki,” Mai insisted. “He was also being a dick to a bunch of academy students. Being able to steal his food was just a bonus.”

Sasuke looked over at me from the corner he was occupying with Sakura and Lee. “Your friends are weird.”

“That’s why I love them so much,” I replied, smiling brightly.

Kaa-san glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall, a bright smile spreading over her face when she noticed the time. She stood from the table and began ushering everyone out onto the engawa. “It’s almost time everyone! Get ready!”

She turned up the volume on the radio as it began to broadcast the countdown. Everyone shuffled out into the cold winter night, staring up at the sky. 

“Five,” Mai started. 

“Four!” Ryou and Genma joined in, their fingers lacing together as they huddled close for warmth.

“Three.” My father joined kaa-san on the engawa, wrapping the two of them in a warm quilt.

“Two!” Lee and Gai shouted loudly into the night, making Noboru smile warmly as he pulled the two close.

“One.” Sakura latched onto Sasuke and for once he didn’t seem to mind much.

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!” My cheer was cut off half way as Iruka pulled me in for my first kiss of the New Year. I missed the first firework when Kakashi tugged me back for his turn. The blues and greens and reds of the fireworks lit their faces as they smiled at me and I realized I’d rather spend the rest of the night watching them instead of the fireworks.

“And happy birthday to Gai-sensei!” Lee cheered. 

“Yes,” Noboru murmured, “Happy birthday, Gai.”

“Please don’t start making out,” Mai pleaded, only for her request to fall on deaf ears. She covered Lee’s eyes and tugged him away, muttering something about preserving his innocence. 

Iruka laughed awkwardly at the display and Kakashi seemed to be pointedly ignoring his ‘eternal rival’ and said rival’s very affectionate boyfriend. That was probably the alcohol’s fault. A thought occurred to me in that moment, and I frowned.

“I missed your birthdays, didn’t I?” I asked Kakashi and Iruka.

“Don’t worry about it,” Kakashi soothed. “I don’t really celebrate my birthday anyway.”

“And we didn’t know each other when mine passed, so don’t be too upset,” Iruka said, placing a kiss to my temple. 

“When are they?” I asked, a pleading edge to my voice. “I want to be able to celebrate them properly with you next time.”

“May twenty-sixth,” Iruka answered. “But really, you don’t have to do anything for us.”

“Shut up, next time I’m making you a cake,” I insisted, leaning heavily against him like that was going to emphasize my point. I stared hard at Kakashi, waiting for him to answer.

He sighed. “September fifteenth.”

I smile at him. Even if his birthday wasn’t much of a secret, it seemed to be more than he had been hoping to share. But he did share, and I was grateful for that. “And I’ll be twenty on August eighteenth.” 

“We’ll have to take you out for your first drink,” Kakashi offered, his mood brightening at the idea.

“Wrong!” Ryou shouted, apparently having over heard our conversation. “I called dibs on seeing her drunk first a long ass time ago! You!” He pointed dramatically at Kakashi, glaring at him threateningly. “You can wait.” 

I fell off of Iruka and onto the snow-covered ground of the garden, howling with laughter. 

The fireworks ended and with them, the party. Ryou and Genma left almost immediately after the finale. Something about ringing in the New Year right. Gai and Noboru left soon after with Lee. Mai offered to walk Sakura home, and the two of them left together. As soon as Sakura was gone Sasuke disappeared upstairs. Kaa-san and tou-san slipped down the hallway towards their own room, leaving me with Kakashi and Iruka in the genkan. The two didn’t seem to want to leave. Every time the conversation seemed to be winding down they’d find something new to talk about. 

“You know,” I said quietly, “If you wanted to stay the night, you just have to ask.”

Iruka and Kakashi shared a knowing look before turning back to me.

“Can we stay the night?”

“Of course.”


	18. In Which Noboru-sensei Jinxes Us While On A Mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm about a week into Nanowrimo, but as promised, I'm keeping to my schedule! This little arc will be a few chapters long at least, so I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think in the comments below!

I floated in that weird, warm space between sleep and wakefulness. I could feel someone pressed up against my back, too small to be Kakashi or Iruka. They hadn’t been there last night anyway, and probably would have been gone by now anyway, Iruka off to teach his students and Kakashi to go stare at the memorial stone for a few hours. No, Sasuke must have slipped into bed with me at some point during the night. He tended to do that when Kakashi and Iruka weren’t around, especially when he’d had a bad dream. He never woke me; he probably didn’t want to have to explain anything to me. 

A knock at my door finally pulled me into full wakefulness. I groaned in response and kaa-san opened my door to peek in. 

“Kourubi-chan, Hokage-sama has called for you and Sasuke. I think she has a mission for you.”

I groaned again in acknowledgement, waiting for the door to click shut again before forcing myself to sit up. Sasuke’s arms tightened their hold on my waist and he echoed my tired groan. The late winter sunlight poured into the room through the glass door, making Sasuke squint as his eyes fluttered open. 

“C’mon, baby brother, the Hokage’s calling.”

We arrive at the Hokage’s office to find the rest of my team already there along with Sakura, Kakashi, and …Lee? I turned my questioning gaze to Tsunade, who gave an impatient huff.

“Good, everyone’s here.” She picked up a small stack of papers. “I’m assigning team three and team seven to a B-rank escort mission. Lee will be filling in as team seven’s fourth member. The princess of the Land of Flowers has recently been on a pilgrimage in preparation for her coronation in the spring. Her guard was called away due to reports of a threat to her country. As such, she’s turned to us to provide her protection on her journey home. You are to escort her back home and remain there as extra security until the coronation has taken place. Understood?”

There was a chorus of affirmatives.

“Why two squads, though?” Ryou asked, rolling up the sleeves of his big white coat against the warmth of the room.

Tsunade flipped through the papers thoughtfully. “Apparently the princess generally travels with eight guards, so an equal number of shinobi were requested. Any other questions?”

“When and where will we be meeting up with the client?” Kakashi asked, a surprising amount of professionalism in his voice. 

“We have arranged a rendezvous with the princess and her convoy this afternoon at 3. You’ll be meeting them at the main gate. You have until then to prepare for the mission.”

 

With weapons pouches packed with all sorts of sharp and pointy instruments, sealing scrolls full of any possible need tucked into supply packs, and katana and tanto hanging from our hips, Sasuke and I arrived at the main gate with plenty of time to spare. Even Kakashi was on time. Guess he was pretty much required to be more polite to the clients then he was to his team. My eyes drifted over the group, new additions to Mai’s usual combat ready outfit catching my gaze.

“When did you get those, Mai?” I asked, pointing at the gauntlets that covered her hands and forearms. 

Mai blinked and looked down at her arms, as if she’d forgotten she’d put them on. “Oh, they were a present from Gai-sensei for my birthday.”

“Ah, right. It’s a shame I couldn’t celebrate with you.” Mai’d turned twenty just a few days prior, and in celebration Noboru-sensei had taken her out for her first drink. “That’s a bit of an odd gift, though. Did he say why?”

Mai flexed her hands, the metal that covered her knuckles bending easily with each movement. Thick fabric covered her fingers, protecting her skin from the metal itself. They looked really nice, the steely color going well with Mai’s deep purple tunic. That metal plus Mai’s inherent strength would mean a lot of pain for her opponents.

“Well, I’m gonna go for the chunin exams again next time they roll around. And chunin get a lot of undercover missions, right? At least more than genin do. Well, given my height, the only type of person I could reasonably pretend to be is a noble. And noble women don’t have fucked up hands.” Mai rambled. 

“Noble women don’t have burns all over their body either,” Sasuke pointed out.

Ryou shifted uncomfortably. “Depends on the family.”

A heavy silence fell over the four of us until a sound caught our attention. The soft sound of hooves on dirt. We turned to see an older man in fancy robes riding atop a fine chestnut colored horse. Behind him was a short caravan of carriages, maybe four or five. Only two of them seemed to be the kind people rode in, and the first one was far more ornate than the one behind it.

The man in fancy robes stared down at us from his horse. “I take it you are the shinobi the Hokage has assigned to guard us?”

Noboru-sensei nodded. “That’s right. I’m Kujaku Noboru, jonin leader for Team Three.” He beckoned us over towards him and proceeded to introduce us to the man. “Nekozawa Ryou, Kumamoto Mai, and Karasuno Kourubi.”

The man’s lips quirked downwards in recognition of Ryou’s name, but he said nothing. He turned to Kakashi, his eyes widening at the sight of him.

“To think Hatake Kakashi has been assigned to our guard!” the man gasped. “The Hokage must truly understand the importance of hime-sama’s safety.”

Kakashi looked terribly bored with the man’s praise. I had a feeling the celebrity status didn’t really thrill him at all. 

“Yes, I’ll be leading Team Seven here.” He gestured at the others. “This is Haruno Sakura, Rock Lee, and Uchiha Sasuke. Don’t let their ages fool you, they’re quite capable.”

“I should hope so,” the man huffed. “I am Motohiro, first minister to Hanako-hime-sama.”

I couldn’t keep the incredulous look off my face. “The princess of the Land of Flowers is named Hanako? It’s a little on the nose, don’t you think?”

Motohiro stiffened, glaring down at me. “The eldest princess has been named Hanako for the last eight generations!”

What are they? The Armstrong family?

Mai snorted. “Yeah, cause that makes that so much better.”

“Hush, you two,” Noboru hissed. 

“Motohiro-san?” a tiny, soft voice called from the first carriage. “Are the ninja here? Can I see them?”

Motohiro turned over his shoulder to call towards the voice. “Hime-sama, it’s really not necessary! Please stay in the carriage.”

“But I want to see them.” The carriage down swung open. Despite Motohiro’s panicked attempts to keep her inside, the princess stepped out onto the streets of Konoha. She walked towards us daintily, the many layers of kimonos she wore restricting her movement. Her hair was so pale it was more white than pink, but it still definitely pink. Her eyes were dark, midnight black. She looked young, not quite as young as Sasuke and the others, but certainly no older than I was. She stared at us with curiosity and awe. 

She seemed to center herself, her expression schooling into one of practiced aloofness. “Greetings, fine shinobi of the Hidden Leaf. I am Hanako, princess of the Land of Flowers. I appreciate you joining me on my journey home. My life is in your hands.” 

“You can count on us, your highness,” Kakashi assured her. “But I think you might want to get back to your carriage before Motohiro-san has a heart attack.” 

The air of refinement around the princess broke as she blinked owlishly at us and turned to her minister, who was crying about her shoes getting dirty. “Oh, Motohiro-san, please! There’s no need for that!” 

Mai gave a short bark of a laugh. “I like her. This might be fun.”

 

The first day was slow moving, as was typical of body guarding missions. You had to go the client’s pace. And despite the apparent need to get back to the Land of Flowers in time for the spring equinox, Motohiro’s set pace was…cautious at best. Apparently under the impression that Hanako was delicate, Motohiro made sure that nothing disturbed the princess’ carriage, not even a tiny pebble, lest the bumpy ride lead to a bruise. 

Bored out of my mind, I slid into step beside Kakashi. “I didn’t think I’d get to go on a mission with you so soon.”

Kakashi glanced my way, the stiffness that’d come over him when Motohiro and Hanako showed up lessening slightly. “Oh?”

“Yeah, thought I’d have to wait until I was a jonin,” I mused. “You know, since you always go on those wild and crazy missions.” A sly grin spread across my lips. “I hope I’m not too much of a distraction.”

“You’re always a distraction,” Kakashi teased, his voice just on the right side of bored sounding that I immediately knew he was playing along. 

“I would say I’m sorry, but I don’t really think I am.”

Ryou, who was just a few paces in front of us, shot an accusatory glare over his shoulder at us. “Are you flirting?”

Kakashi and I blinked at him before sharing a glance. The moment our eyes met I lost my composure and let loose a tiny snort of a laugh.

“You ARE!” Ryou shouted, fully turning to glare at us. “YOU’RE FLIRTING! FUCKING STOP IT! It’s not fair to the rest of us!”

“Wait, what’s going on?” Noboru-sensei called over from the other side of the caravan.

“Kakashi and nee-san are flirting again.” I could practically hear Sasuke roll his eyes.

“But why would they be flirting?” Oh, poor sensei was so confused. 

“Because that’s what they do,” Mai said, probably shrugging. 

“But…”

“And don’t get me started on the dates they have at the house,” Sasuke interrupted. 

“Dates?!” I didn’t know sensei could yelp like that.

“IT’S SO ANNOYING!” Ryou shouted. 

“But…Iruka…”

“YEAH! FUCKER GETS TO BE CUTE WITH TWO GUYS! S’NOT FAIR!”

“Seriously, sensei, you were at the New Year’s party,” Mai reminded. “They made out pretty openly when the fireworks started going off.”

“I…I was preoccupied with other things,” Noboru snapped defensively. He flickered into place beside me, his brows tightly nit in concern. “Why didn’t you tell me, Kourubi?”

I seriously hoped he could feel the aura of ‘are you kidding me?’ rolling off me. “Did you tell us about your boyfriend?”

Sensei’s cheeks turned red. “N-no…”

“Well, there you go.”

There was a giggle from the ornate carriage and the three of us turned just in time to see Hanako-hime duck back away from the open window with a squeak. 

I laughed openly. “Enjoying the show, hime-sama?”

She peeked out the window again, her cheeks a cute pink. “I did not mean to eavesdrop…”

“I wouldn’t really call it eavesdropping when the conversation is as loud as that one was,” I mused. “S’not like we had any expectation of privacy.”

Hanako leaned on the window frame, arms folded under her chin. “You all seem so carefree. Nii-san would never let our ninja appear so casual.”

“You have a brother?” It was Lee who asked, calling up to us from his spot along side the carriage that carried Hanako’s two ladies in waiting.

“A cousin,” Hanako corrected. “He leads our nation’s shinobi. He’s the reason Motohiro hired you to escort me home. He sent a message about a possible threat to the country and called my guard home.”

Noboru-sensei and Kakashi shared a glance over the top of my head that they probably thought I didn’t see but I totally did. It was amazing how much meaning a shinobi could pack into one look. Noboru’s violet gaze shifted back to Hanako. “You’d think that if there’s a threat to the country, the first priority would be to make sure the heir apparent is safe.”

Hanako shrugged; seeming all the world like the teenager she was, confused and unsure. “He seems to think that I’m far enough away that I won’t be in danger. He thought I should wait until the threat had passed but Motohiro-san insisted we press on so I could make it home in time. It was his idea to hire Konoha shinobi, you know.” 

“Well, we’re glad to help!” Sakura insisted from…somewhere. “Naruto will be so jealous when we tell him. He’s always wanted to guard a princess.”

“Well, hopefully there won’t be much to tell,” Noboru murmured.

And that’s when I knew he’d jinxed us all. 

 

I sat atop Hanako’s carriage, eyes closed as I scouted ahead through Mori’s eyes. It was good for her and Gan to be out and about; winter made them terribly lazy. Three days had passed since the start of the mission, and so far it’d been thankfully uneventful. According to Motohiro and Hanako, we were just a day or so from the border of the Land of Flowers, and from there it would only be a half a day more to the capital if we traveled quickly. 

Currently, we were passing through a small valley between two tall hills that opened up into a wide forest a little over a kilometer down the way. Mori swooped low under the treetops, allowing me to see along the road we were traveling. Movement at the edge of the trees caught my attention. A group of people, possibly bandits, waited within spitting distance of the road not far into the forest. I cut the connection between Mori and I and called down to the others.

“Hold on a minute, there’s an ambush set up no more than two kilometers down the road,” I said, jumping down from my perch. 

“Two kilometers?” Noboru asked. I nodded. He threw up one of his hands, causing everyone to stop what they were doing and pay attention, and closed his eyes, brow furrowed in concentration. “Everyone shut up.”

We all stood stock still, quietly waiting for sensei to speak again. I remembered, in that moment, that sensei was a sensor ninja. I hadn’t gotten to see him use his skills since becoming Kourubi, but he’d definitely used it before, on the missions we’d taken when we were younger. 

“She’s right,” he finally said, his eyes opening. “Just two kilometers ahead, six combatants. Definitely shinobi.”

“What should we do?” Sakura asked. “There’s no way we can go around them. Not without going through the thicker parts of the forest and the caravan isn’t built for that kind of terrain.”

“She’s right,” Kakashi sighed. “We have to go straight to them.”

“We know they’re there, though,” Ryou reminded. “That gives us some kind of advantage.”

Noboru nodded. “That’s at least partially true. The problem is we don’t know how much information they have on the princess and her traveling party.”

“Well…what if we have someone transform into the princess and then have her hide with the luggage?” Mai suggested. “Even if they know she only has two ladies in waiting or whatever with her, they might not think to attack the luggage carts.” 

Noboru and Kakashi exchanged a considering look. Kakashi shrugged. “It’s an idea.”

“They might think it’s strange that there’s only seven shinobi, though,” Noboru muttered, biting at his lip. 

“Someone can make a shadow clone and transform it into who ever gets stuck playing princess,” I offered. 

Noboru thought more before nodding. “We can at least try it. Sakura-chan, you’ll be body doubling for the princess. Sasuke, get her back to the supply cart quickly. If we hesitate for too long they’ll know we’re on to them. You and Lee will guard the princess directly. If Kakashi and I are with her they’ll know what’s going on immediately.”

Sasuke pulled open the door and lifted Hanako from her seat, carrying her off without a word. Lee fell back along with him, finding a good spot for the princess to hide in a small space created by the many, many trunks in the cart. They threw a tarp over her for good measure. Sakura swiftly transformed into the princess and climbed into the carriage, hiding a kunai in her sleeve. 

“W-w-what should I do?” Motohiro stuttered, shaking atop his saddle.

“Just act normal,” Kakashi instructed, his voice low and soothing. “Let’s go.”

The next two kilometers were painful. We walked in absolute silence, save only for the sound of the carts rumbling over uneven dirt and the horses’ hooves clip-clopping along the ground. You could tell that it was Kakashi’s clone instead of Sakura walking just in front of me because the two of them were the only ones who seemed even remotely relaxed. Ryou had pulled out his staff, using it as a walking stick to disguise what it truly was. My hand came up to rest on my katana, gripping the end of the handle nervously.

I saw Mori resting on a tree branch that hung over the pathway as we entered the forest. The enemy was close now. Indeed, the moment the last cart had passed under Mori’s branch, they struck. 

Like sensei had said, there were six of them, each armed to the teeth. They went for Hanako’s carriage first. Two of them intercepted Kakashi and Noboru-sensei, allowing for a third to wrench open the carriage door, only to be met with a kunai to the forehead. Sakura jumped from the carriage, dropping her disguise and lashing out at the ninja attacking Kakashi with a handful of shuriken. 

“Dammit, they had a body double! Find the real one!”

Another shinobi dropped down behind me. I quickly turned, unsheathing my tanto. The man smirked at me, drawing his own blades, two of them, each far longer than my tanto. I swallowed down my nerves. Kaa-san and tou-san hadn’t even begun to teach Sasuke and me the two sword styles. But that didn’t mean I hadn’t watched them train.

“Sasuke! Tanto!” 

Sasuke was behind me in a second, allowing me to tug his tanto from its sheath. The next moment he was gone again, off to help Lee take down another ninja. I gripped the two short blades loosely in my hand, staring the man down. He moved first, slashing downwards with the blade in his right hand, followed immediately with a horizontal cut with the other sword when I made to dodge. Unable to slip out of the way in time, I threw up a tanto. It was enough to stop the attack, if only just barely. My opponent’s blade slipped down and away and I was extremely thankful for my armguards at that moment. 

Kaa-san had been hesitant about teaching us the twin blade style. It was designed for assassinations, after all, and she felt like we didn’t have the disposition for such a style. Maybe not.

But that didn’t stop me from plunging the tanto into his kidneys. It also didn’t stop me from stabbing another in the spine for throwing Ryou against the servant’s carriage. 

In the very next moment the two of us were pinned to the side of the carriage by a thin, wild looking man. He inhaled deeply, head whipping from one side to the other. His eyes fixed on the cart where Sasuke and Lee had hidden the princess.

Shit!

“Tracker!” Ryou shouted, coming to the same conclusion I had as the shinobi bounded away. 

Kakashi’s head whipped towards us, his Sharingan spinning dangerously as his expression turned venomous. I could smell the burning ozone as he gathered lightning in his palm.

“Everyone MOVE!”

I pushed Ryou even tighter against the carriage as Kakashi rushed past. I turned my head to watch Sasuke and Lee jump out of the way just in time for Kakashi’s hand to plunge through the tracker’s back, blood bursting from his chest at the force of it. Than man opened his mouth to scream, but nothing came out as he fell forward, dead. 

Noboru sighed heavily, looking around at the carnage. “Is that all of them? Is everyone okay?”

“No serious injuries over here,” Mai called from the other side of the caravan. Sasuke and Lee made noises of agreement, even as Lee was wiping blood from his lip. 

I pulled back from Ryou. “You good?”

He nodded, his blue eyes giving me a quick once over to make sure I was fine too. For a moment, all was quiet, save for the soft pants escaping our lips. I looked towards the luggage cart as Lee ducked in. I heard him speak in soft tones, an oddity for him. He reemerged some moments later, hand wrapped tightly around Hanako’s and she attempted to hide her tears behind her sleeve. 

“Are you going to be okay, Hanako-sama?” Sakura asked, stepping close to the princess in what I quickly realized was an attempt to keep her from seeing the dead bodies.

“Eventually, yes,” Hanako replied, her voice a little shaky. “Thank you for keeping me safe.”

“That’s what we’re here for,” Kakashi reminded gently. “Let’s get you back in your carriage, ne? The faster we get moving the faster we get you home.”

Lee tugged Hanako towards her carriage and she followed obediently. She really was terribly young. We all were, now that I thought about it. 

“Hey, this is kinda weird,” Mai called from next to several dead shinobi. “None of these guys are from the same village.”

Kakashi’s head shot up at that and we immediately began checking the bodies. Sure enough, only two of the six assassins were from the same village. The two I killed were from Grass and Waterfall. The tracker had been a Cloud ninja. Another from Hot Water, and the remaining two were from Rain.

“I don’t get it,” Sasuke muttered, kicking a dead assassin out of the way. “Why would these guys be working together?”

“I’m trying to figure out why someone would hire so many different villages for the same job,” Mai admitted. “In case one failed?”

“If that was the case, they’d be more spread out,” Noboru argued. “No, something else is going on here.”

“Well, she is a princess,” I muttered, more thinking out loud than actually trying to contribute to the conversation. “If she did get assassinated, her country would have to go to war against the village of whoever assassinated her. But…if the kill order came from inside her country…then having multiple countries be at fault would give them an excuse not to go to war. Especially given how tiny the Land of Flowers is.” 

“It also allows whoever ordered the assassination to pick and choose what kind of information possible guards can get,” Kakashi murmured. “If every assassin knows different information, then keeping one alive would never give us the whole story. And even if we kept all of them alive, we would never be sure which story was the truth.”

Noboru sighed heavily. “This mission just got far more complicated than I’d hoped. I guess the only thing we can do now is deal with the bodies. I’ve got some corpse scrolls in my pack. Kakashi, if you could…”

 

“Could you teach me how to do that?”

Kakashi turned to me, mild confusion in his eye. “How to do what?”

“The chidori,” I clarified, lifting my hand up as if that meant anything. “I have lightning as one of my affinities, but I don’t really do much with it. Konoha’s not big on lightning release jutsu, ya know.”

Kakashi was quiet, eyeing me contemplatively. He looked away. “Unfortunately, given the nature of the technique, there’s no way you can perform it without a Sharingan. The speed necessary to perform it causes something like tunnel vision. Without a Sharingan to make up for that, using the technique is too much of a danger.” 

My hand dropped limply back to my side. My gaze turned to the dirt path. “Oh…”

I could feel Kakashi turn his eye back towards me. He made an uncomfortable noise. “Well, it’s not like you don’t have your own amazing technique.”

“What, my Melody From Another World?” I asked, disbelief creeping into my voice. “When has that saved anyone?”

“Just because it hasn’t yet doesn’t mean it can’t with a little modification.” Kakashi lifted his headband, focusing his Sharingan on me. “Show it to me.”

Curious, I did so, feeling the vibrations along my skin as sound filled the air. Hanako poked her head out of her window curiously. I could feel both her gaze and Kakashi’s on me as I began to sway my hips and bounce slightly to the music as we continued to walk. 

_She was dancing, she was smiling_   
_Roses blooming in her cheeks_   
_In a quiet kind of litany_   
_She accepted some defeat_

My eyes met Hanako’s for a brief moment. Hers were still puffy and red from her earlier crying, but most of the fear was gone, left with fascination and excitement. My friends had seen, well heard, me use this technique several times before. Sasuke was more than used to me humming songs he’d never heard before as I wandered around the house doing chores. All of this was new for Hanako. I grinned at her. She smiled back.

“I think I understand.” I turned at Kakashi’s sudden statement. “You basically coat your skin with a layer of chakra that vibrates the air to create sound. Let me see…”

His hands flickered through the signs and a low, steady tone filled the air. It was like the long, drawn out sound of pulling a bow across the open G-string of a viola while you’re tuning it (and wasn’t that a weird memory to hold on to). His eyebrows furrowed in what I figured was frustration or concentration or maybe both. Eventually, the sound stopped.

“I don’t understand,” he muttered. “How is it you can create such complex layers of sound? That kind of chakra control is nearly unheard of…”

“It’s nothing that complicated,” I answered casually. “You just don’t know any songs from another world.”

“What?”

“What?”

Some amorphous blend of confusion, suspicion, and concern flittered in Kakashi’s eyes as he stared at me. I turned my gaze back to the path in front of us, trying to force down the bile that was building in my throat. That was stupid. That was so incredibly stupid. Why did I say that? 

“You should put your Sharingan away before it eats up all your chakra,” I warned, desperate to divert his attention. My hands were shaking.

Eventually I could feel Kakashi look away from me. “Maa, I suppose all shinobi have their secrets.” He sounded so…disappointed. 

“Sorry,” I murmured.

“It doesn’t matter.” Yes it does! It mattered because I hurt you! You’ve come to expect me to be open with you because that’s the kind of person I am! 

But now I was keeping something from him and I could see him start to close himself off again. I wanted to take his hand to tell him everything but now was neither the time nor the place…and I doubted he’d believe me even if I did tell him. 

Eventually Kakashi suggested I focus on forcing the vibrations to come from different parts of my body instead of just all over. I spent the rest of the day forcing my chakra to my hand, raising and lowering the intensity to match the desired volume. It was tedious and frustrating, especially because I could feel Kakashi’s eyes on me, analyzing me. I usually didn’t mind his staring…but then again it wasn’t usually this cold. 

Gan fluttered down to my shoulder from the top of Hanako’s carriage where Mori was teaching Sasuke and Tsutsuji the Bird’s Eye View technique. He pressed a little birdie kiss to my cheek to catch my attention. “Kou-chan?”

“I’m okay,” I insisted quietly, not bothering to cut off the melancholy piano melody spilling over my skin. 

“No you’re not.”

I squeezed my eyes shut against the tears that gathered there. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs In This Part
> 
> [Pay No Mind by Madeon](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BC_Ya4cY8RQ)


	19. In Which We Reach the Land of Flowers (And it Lives Up to its Name)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'm back with another chapter. I chugging right along with Nanowrimo, but that doesn't mean Imma leave you high and dry. This one's a bit of a doozy in my opinion. Let me know what you think in the comments. And for all of my American readers: Happy Thanksgiving!

We continued traveling well into the evening, the sun setting just beyond the horizon. As we crested a steep hill, I could smell something sweet in the air. Hanako rushed to her window, leaning out to inhale whatever that smell was.

“This is it! We’re almost there!” she shouted jubilantly. “Just over the hill and you’ll be able to see it.”

At the very top of the hill, which turned out to be more of a cliff than anything else, we saw it. Fields and fields of wildflowers backing up to a mountain range that kept the Land of Flowers contained to the valley before us. The Land of Flowers was tiny, more like a city-state than a full nation. I could see the city walls at the far end of the valley, and behind it, built into the base of the mountain, was the castle. The closer to the walls, the more organized the flowers became, until it was obvious that they were farms instead of naturally growing patches. Besides the city beyond the wall, there were only a few clusters of buildings, none of them big enough to even be considered a village.

“There’s no way we’re gonna get there before nightfall,” Ryou grumbled. 

Noboru-sensei sighed. “No, but we should at least get down to the valley before we make camp. C’mon, let’s keep moving. Motohiro-san, what’s the easiest way down to the valley?”

 

We managed to make it down the narrow mountain path into the valley proper before it became truly dark. Meager rations were eaten and bedrolls were laid out, and then came the topic of watch. 

“I’ll take last watch,” Kakashi offered. “I know none of the kids will want to wake up at three in the morning to deal with it.”

“I’ll take first watch, then,” I stated, my words rushed and my eyes already focusing on a small ledge that jutted out of the cliff where I could keep watch. Before anyone could argue, I bounded up the stony, mossy cliff face and settled on the ledge. 

Not even an hour into my watch, I heard the sound of people scrambling up the cliff face. I stiffened, hand reaching for my kunai holster before Mai and Ryou’s heads popped up over the ledge. I sighed loudly, slumping in a dramatic fashion as they pulled themselves up to sit on either side of me.

“Okay, something’s wrong.” Mai said forthright. “What is it?”

Ryou pressed up beside me, his cat ear hood up to protect him from the cool night air. “Did Kakashi do something to piss you off? What’d he do? Do I need to stab someone?”

“No, you don’t need to stab anyone,” I grumbled, pulling my knees in close to my chest. “I said something stupid and now he’s upset with me.”

Mai clicked her tongue in what I assumed was pity. “What kind of stupid?” 

“Well, if he ever suspected I’m keeping secrets from him, then he certainly had those suspicions confirmed.” I picked a pebble up from beside my foot and tossed it out into the dark, hearing it hit the ground and roll some distance away.

“He’s a damn hypocrite if he’s pissed at you for keeping secrets.” The indignation was palpable in Ryou’s voice. “I mean, a) all ninjas have secrets. And b) if any ninja has secrets, is Hatake-fucking-Kakashi.”

“Yeah, but I’m not Hatake-fucking-Kakashi!” I insisted. “I’m not even fucking Hatake Kakashi. I’m the damn open one in the relationship! I wear my heart on my sleeve and tell him that I’m always willing to listen when he’s willing to talk! How is he supposed to open up to me knowing that I’m keeping shit from him too?”

Mai shrugged. “Idunno, but you’re not gonna figure that shit out by avoiding him and talking to us instead. You two have to figure out how to relationship on your own, cause the two of us…” She gestured at herself and Ryou. “We don’t have any advice to give you. At least none that probably isn’t shit.”

Ryou’s eyes narrowed dangerously at Mai. “My relationship is working out just fine, thankyouverymuch. I’m sure I have great advice for Kourubi if she wants it.”

“Ryou, you probably solve every issue in your relationship by offering a half-ass apology and a blowjob,” Mai drawled with a roll of her eyes. 

“And look how great that’s worked out for me so far!”

I buried my face in my hands. “I’m gonna push you both off this cliff.”

“Can you push him off first? I wanna hear his girly screaming before I get knocked the fuck out on the rocks below.”

 

We were up and moving early the next morning. Hanako and Motohiro were anxious to finally return home and begin preparations for the coronation. So with camp broken down and the fire doused and all evidence we were there scattered to the four winds, we began the trek across the wide open flower fields that Hanako called home. Every so often we passed a small farm and the field workers stopped what they were doing to wave and call to their princess, who waved back shyly. It was fairly obvious the people loved her. 

There was an uptick in bees the closer we get to the walls, and that was when I noticed the apiaries scattered about the pristinely organized flower fields. Sakura ducked away from the buzzing balls of fuzz as they hurried themselves about the fields. 

Hanako laughed jovially. “Don’t be scared, Sakura-san. They’re quite harmless. Most don’t even have stingers. They’re just confused by your hair.”

Ryou tugged his hood up over his own hair in an attempt to keep the bees from being confused by him as well. Mai laughed at that, pretty much ignoring the bees that landed on her shoulders thinking that her purple tunic was an unusually shaped flower. 

The gates of the city were decorated with an intricately detailed wisteria painting, the illusionary petals looked like they were swaying in the very real breeze. I couldn’t help but stare as they swung open easily for us. The people of the Land of Flowers must have had prior warning that we were coming because the streets were lined with crowds who shouted and cheered and threw flowers onto our path. I could feel petals catching in my hair. I reached up to brush them away when I felt someone else do it for me. I twitched at the contact, looking over to see Kakashi quickly pull back his hand. I averted my gaze, catching the briefest glance of a shinobi on the rooftops before they flickered away. 

“Seems we have company,” Noboru muttered. “Don’t engage. There’s no need to attack potential allies.”

Now that we were aware the ninja were there, we saw them everywhere. On rooftops, amongst the crowd, in the myriad of flowering trees that lined the main road. They seemed content to simply watch. I wondered if these were Hanako’s guards. 

We followed the main road up its shallow incline towards the palace. Another, smaller wall surrounded the palace grounds. This too, opened easily for us. The carriages stopped in front of a flight of shallow steps. Atop the stairs, staring down at us, was a young man. His long, wild looking magenta hair waved in the breeze as he looked down his nose at us with deep black eyes that reminded me of Hanako. This had to be the cousin she’d mentioned. 

Hanako stepped delicately from her carriage, her posture stiff as she met her cousin’s eyes. “Hello, Ken-nii-san. I’m home.”

Ken? Really? Where’s Barbie then?

“It is good to see you home safe and sound, Hanako-hime-sama,” Ken said smoothly, his posture equally stiff. “The court is waiting for you. Best hurry inside.”

Hanako frowned, but said nothing as she ascended the stairs. Motohiro hurried after her, muttering about…something. The eight of us followed at a brisk pace until we’d slipped back into protective formation around the princess. Most escort missions ended once the client had reached their destination, but Motohiro had specifically asked for us to stay and continue to guard the princess until the coronation took place. I could only wonder what sort of suspicions he had that he had to call upon foreign shinobi to guard his monarch. 

The throne room was large and bright and airy and absolutely crowded with nobles. Women with complicated updos and men in expensive kimonos with rich colors lined the hall, leaving a wide, open space just in front of a dais where a single, low throne stood. The room that had been buzzing with soft whispers went silent as we entered. Hanako, head held high, climbed the dais to the throne. She turned to face the nobles as she settled herself into seiza position atop the heavily padded throne. Her back was straight and tall, her face impassive. Hanako really knew how to make herself look imposing despite her age. 

“Shall we open the court, hime-sama?” Ken asked, something slick and oily entering his voice. “Do you have a performer set?”

Hanako’s hands clenched in her silken kimono. What was this about a performer?

Ken noticed her reaction and his reserved frown slipped into a smirk. “Really, hime-sama. You should have known we would hold court as soon as you returned. If you can’t be prepared for this sort of thing, how do you ever expect to lead the country?”

I tugged on Motohiro’s sleeve. “What the hell is he talking about?”

Motohiro swallowed thickly. “It is tradition that each session of court is proceeded by a song from a performer from one of the local schools of music or a dance. The fact he expected Hanako-hime-sama to have known he’d called a session of court…and the fact he expects her to take responsibility for such a thing…”

I could see the minute trembling in Hanako’s shoulders. Scowling, I strode into the middle of the room, ignoring Noboru’s hissed warning. I turned sharply to face Hanako and Ken.

“If it pleases her highness,” I said coolly. “I would be more than happy to perform for your court.”

Ken eyed me suspiciously as Hanako visibly relaxed. “And who are you, shinobi?”

I ignored his question. “What say you, hime-sama?”

Hanako nodded silently. I smiled, turning slowly to face the crowd. My hands slipped through the signs for two different techniques. I watched the kage bunshin shimmer into existence just beyond the sea of nobles. It slid through the crowd, the nobles parting like the Red Sea for it as its form faded into view. 

“Dancing the tango,” I murmured to myself, “Karasuno Kourubi and her partner…”

I could hear Kakashi’s sharp gasp just over the music that spilled over my skin and into the air as a recreation of his ANBU self wrapped an arm around my waist.

_Hold, hold on, hold onto me_  
_Cause I’m a little unsteady_  
_A little unsteady_

I didn’t actually know how to tango. Not really. But no one here knew that. No one here even knew what a tango was. I did however know how to fake one. I’d watched enough of that celebrity dance show with my mother Before that I could at least attempt to recreate one. The weird dichotomy between what I could and couldn’t remember from Before was starting to bother me. How I could remember things as trivial as pop culture but not my family’s faces never failed to make me feel guilty and confused. 

The gloved hand on my thigh pulled me from that train of thought as my partner bent me backwards over his arm. In all honesty, I was making things up as I went. The tango, using Kakashi’s likeness, that was mostly just for fun. But I could see the paranoia in Ken’s eyes as they darted around the room, looking for more ANBU. It was a performance, true, but it was also, in a completely unexpected way, a power play. Not only was I showing off my own physical prowess in a way that most of the nobles wouldn’t understand (but any shinobi with a decently trained eye would), I had planted the notion in Ken’s head that we’d brought ANBU along. And he’d had no idea.

Our steps were precise and deliberate as we danced towards the dais. I could see my friends just off to the side, behind Motohiro and Hanako’s ladies in waiting. Ryou and Sakura and Lee seemed positively delighted by my performance. I was sure that if iPhones existed in this world, Ryou would have whipped his out to record this the moment I’d stepped before the dais. Sasuke looked vaguely constipated and Mai’s shoulders were shaking in what I could only assume were barely contained giggles. It was harder to read Noboru-sensei’s expression as his eyes darted nervously back and forth between my performance and Kakashi, who stood beside him. At times it seemed like he was impressed, at others it looked like he was waiting to reach out and stop Kakashi from doing something stupid. 

I locked eyes with Kakashi as the music faded into its denouement. His clone lifted me off the ground, practically cradling me in its arms. I could see something blaze in Kakashi’s one visible eye. Anger? Lust? Jealousy? It was hard to tell. His whole body was tense, like he was prepared to jump out and snatch me away from the imposter I danced with. It was a little ridiculous that he could be jealous of a chakra construct, but it was the chakra construct that had its hands all over me in front of every noble in the Land of Flowers. 

The music ended suddenly, replaced by the roar of applause from the nobles. Even Ken begrudgingly gave me short round of applause. Hanako’s eyes were practically shining. She looked like she’d just watched a fairy tale come to life. The clone set me back on my feet, catching my hand to give it a quick kiss through its hound mask before not so much ‘poofing’ out of existence like most clones as melt into smoke. I cleared my suddenly dry throat and dipped a small curtsy before quickly absconding back to the safety of my friends. 

Hanako’s lips quirked up into a small, almost smug smile. “Shall we begin court now?”

 

Hanako, as it turned out, was a very, very gracious host. Despite the fact we had be hired as bodyguards, she insisted we were guests. We dined on what I could only assume was the finest food in the Land of Flowers with her before being escorted to what I assumed was one of the many guest wings of the palace. I could only hope that Hanako’s guards were as loyal as they seemed to be. They’d been nearly as celebratory as the citizens when they’d greeted her after court had been called to a close. The guards were clearly not shinobi, which was the strongest point in their favor. If Hanako had been truthful when she said her cousin was in charge of the shinobi (and I had no doubt she was being truthful) then the people we had to be the most worried about were the shinobi. After the way he’d treated her, I’d no doubt that Ken was not on Hanako’s side. Which meant the shinobi might not be either.

These were the thoughts that sauntered through my head, as I lay awake in a frightfully comfortable bed. I had no idea how long I’d been lying awake, staring at the ceiling (or the wall if I happened to be laying on my side). It became terribly obvious what I needed to fall asleep, and I would not find it in my luxurious but stiflingly empty room. 

‘Disturbingly’ would be the best way to describe how easy it was to sneak across the hall without alerting the guards. I certainly hoped whoever was guarding Hanako was better at their job than the two smucks that stood at the end of our hallway. Then again, their focus was on keeping people away from us, not keeping us away from each other. 

Kakashi was still awake when I slipped into his room, sitting up in bed, reading by the light of a small table lamp that illuminated very little of the room. He’d divested himself of his flak vest and long sleeved uniform shirt, but if I knew Kakashi he had kunai stashed all over the room so he was within easy reach of a weapon at all times. His grey eye met mine as I closed the door with a soft click. 

“I see you couldn’t sleep either,” he said, his voice low.

I stepped further into the room, shrugging nonchalantly. “I’m too used to having someone with me that I can’t sleep alone anymore.”

He set his book down in his lap and it seemed like he was smiling, but in the dark lighting it was even harder to tell than usual. “That doesn’t seem like a terrible problem to have.”

I was at the edge of the bed now, hand nervously rubbing nonsense circles in the soft sheets. “It is when the person you want to sleep with is mad at you.”

Kakashi looked taken aback by that. “Why would I be mad at you?”

“Because I’m keeping secrets from you.”

“Everyone keep secrets,” he reasoned with a shrug. “It’d be hypocritical of me to be mad at you because of something like that.”

“Then…then why did you sound so disappointed?”

Kakashi sighed, closing his book properly and laying on the bedside table. He patted the mattress beside him, and I, without hesitating more that a millisecond, climbed up and settled at his side. 

“Honestly, I was disappointed in myself for being surprised that you’d have a secret or two locked away. I forgot what we were.”

“Shinobi?”

He shook his head. “People. No one is completely transparent about their past or the things they feel. Some are certainly more than others, but even the most honest people keep secrets. Hell, you kept our relationship a secret from your own sensei.”

“Wasn’t like I was trying to hide it,” I argued mildly. “I just never brought it up and he was just terribly unobservant. Besides, if he didn’t tell us about his relationship, why should I have to tell him about mine?”

“Exactly.” My eyes went cross as he reached out to boop me on the nose. “Noboru was upset that you kept that secret because it’s in his nature to worry and be protective. It wasn’t the fact you had a secret, but because it was that secret in particular. But we’re not talking about your relationship with Noboru. We’re talking about us. And I will never be angry with you for having secrets…unless you try and hide the fact you’re hurt from me. Then I’ll be very angry.”

“Yeah, well, right back at you,” I mumbled, pressing up against his side in the closest approximation to a hug I could manage. 

We were quiet for a long moment, the silence settling around us like a warm blanket. I much preferred this quiet to the quiet of being alone. 

“I am curious, however,” Kakashi said after some time, “as to how you know my ANBU call sign.”

Well, shit. 

“It’s not like you hide that ANBU tattoo of yours,” I reasoned. “And you summon dogs. I just, I don’t know…it made sense to me? I didn’t actually know you wore a dog mask while in ANBU. And if you did, then anyone who KNOWS you would be able to figure it out. It’s not subtle.”

Kakashi pointedly looked away and I could see the pink spread across his cheeks just over the edge of his mask.

I snorted. “You’re adorable.”

I got a pillow to the face for that. 

 

It’s kind of funny how you don’t remember falling asleep when you wake up. Especially those times where you aren’t entirely sure why you woke up.

But then I heard the pained, almost frightened moan beside me and I remembered why I was suddenly awake in the middle of the night. I sat up, leaning over Kakashi to try and figure out what was wrong. His hands were clenched in the blankets, brows furrowed severely. And in a small voice, I heard him say someone’s name. 

“Kakashi!” I whispered. “Kakashi, wake up!” He groaned again and I grasped his shoulder and shook him. “Kakashi!”

The second my hand landed on his shoulder, his eyes shot open. The next thing I knew, I was on my back, wrists pinned to the pillow by Kakashi’s big, cold hands. He was on top of me, staring down at me without seeing me. His Sharingan practically glowed in the darkness of the room. 

“K-Kakashi?”

He flinched, his grip loosening as he came back to himself. The nightmare faded from his eyes and the moment he truly saw me he flung himself back, scrambling to the far edge of the bed, back pressed against one of the ornate, decorative posts. His hands reached up to cover his eyes, as if trying to hide from himself. 

“Did I hurt you?” 

My breath caught in my throat at how small his voice sounded, how broken. I crawled towards him; sitting on my knees and reaching up to pull his hands away from his face. 

“No, no of course you didn’t hurt me,” I insisted. “Just scared me, is all. It sounded like you were having a really bad dream.”

He wouldn’t look at me. “Yeah…haven’t had that one in a while.”

Part of me wanted to just hold him, let sleeping dogs lie. But another part of me insisted that he’d never fully be able to move on if I left it alone. I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what was coming next.

“Who was she?”

Kakashi’s head shot up, his eyes locking with mine. I could see confusion and panic and ‘oh god please don’t ask me that’ in his gaze. I pressed on anyway, keeping my voice as soft and nonthreatening as possible. 

“You said someone’s name in your sleep. Rin. Who was she?” 

Kakashi took a deep, shuddering breath. “A teammate.”

“She died, didn’t she?”

Kakashi’s eyes squeezed shut. He said nothing, only nodding. 

“…did you love her?”

His eyes opened again, his expression more confused than anything else now. “She was a friend, and a comrade, so in that way I guess I did. But no, not in the way you’re thinking. Why? Why would you ask me something like that?”

It was my turn to look away, my gaze falling to our joined hands. “Because you’re always so caught up in the past that sometimes I wonder if you see someone else when you look at me.”

Like how he looked at Naruto and saw Minato. Or how he looked at Sasuke and saw his younger self. 

His hands pulled away from mine and for the briefest moment I felt fear’s icy grip on my gut. I’d said the wrong thing and now he was shutting me out again. But then his hands were cupping my cheeks and I hadn’t realized I was crying until I felt him rub at the tear tracks with his palms. His fingers were in my hair, tangling and pulling so desperately it almost hurt. 

“No!” His voice cracked with the force of the word. “I promise you, that could never happen. Because…I’ve never had someone like you in my life. Sometimes I still wonder why…why you’d want me.”

I could think of a million reasons. Because he was handsome, or at least the fandom had agreed he was. Because he was funny. Because he was badass. Because he was loyal. Because he’d been my favorite. I could think of a million reasons why someone could like him…but none of them seemed like good enough reasons to love him. Did I need a reason?

“One is loved…because one is loved,” I said slowly. “No reason is needed for loving.”

His head jerked back, like I’d punched him. Too many emotions were flying over his face, I couldn’t figure out what he was thinking. It was too soon for words like that.

I smiled disarmingly at him. “I read that in a book once.” Probably a lie. I’d read it somewhere, that much was true, but I couldn’t remember where. But it was enough to ease the tension in his shoulders. 

He pressed his forehead against mine, his eyes closed. He looked calm, almost thoughtful. I was tempted to ask him what he was thinking about, but we’d said more than enough tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs mentioned:
> 
>  
> 
> [Unsteady (Erich Lee Gravity Remix) by X Ambassadors](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBlFp2__XtM)
> 
>  
> 
> Song choice inspired by this [this amazingness](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=def8Bv_GlRo).


	20. In Which I'm Bitter as Hell and Hanako does Something Kinda Badass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello, I'm back with another chapter. Nanowrimo is officially over (I won, by the way, first time I've done that in the four years I've been participating. I'm quite proud of myself) so I'll be back writing MFAW more consistently. As always, I'd love to read your thoughts in the comments. Hope you enjoy!

“I’m not going to have to dance again today, am I?”

Hanako laughed at my cautious tone. “No, no, court is adjourned until my coronation. Though, if you’d like to dance, I wouldn’t mind a performance.”

I shook my head. “Nope. No, thank you. I’ve embarrassed myself enough in front of you.”

The palace was buzzing with activity. With the Spring Equinox just three days away, there was a rush to get everything prepared in time for the coronation. I wondered, briefly, why the coronation had to be on that day specifically, but I assumed there was some tradition that had to be observed. Flowers and spring went hand in hand, after all. Noboru and Kakashi had split us into two teams, one to patrol the palace with the guards to ascertain any weakness in their security plan, and the other to remain with the princess. Noboru was currently with Mai, Sakura, and Lee, patrolling the palace proper. Kakashi, Ryou, Sasuke, and I stayed with the princess.

Hanako let out a sharp gasp and my hands immediately flew to my katana. She rushed forward, throwing herself at a tall man in what looked a lot like standard shinobi garb from Konoha. The man gave a laugh and spun her about to avoid getting knocked over. 

“Hime-sama?” Ryou called questioningly.

Once Hanako was set back on the ground, she took the man’s hand and led him back to us. “My apologies. This is Suzukaze, my fiancé.”

Like practically every other person I’d met in the Land of Flowers, Suzukaze had long hair. I was starting to think it was just some kind of tradition. It was a deep piney green in color, contrasting heavily with his pale violet eyes that peered at us over a mask. He was tall and slender, or at least the way his clothes hung off his body made him look slender.

“He’s very handsome,” I complemented.

Ryou frowned. “How can you tell? He’s wearing a mask.”

Kakashi chuckled lowly. “Kou-chan has a good eye for such things.”

I winked at him for show, enjoying the way Sasuke rolled his eyes in an exaggerated manner. The nickname was a recent development, like breakfast that day recent. Mori and Gan had come bursting in through an open window, babbling away about everything they’d seen, each shouting my name to get my attention. Kakashi, possibly out of curiosity, had addressed me using that very same nickname. When I responded out of habit, he’d grinned under his mask like the cat that got the canary. And I was that canary. Sasuke had choked on his drink and Ryou had yelled at us to stop being cavity inducing as Lee smacked Sasuke’s back until he stopped coughing. It’d been…an interesting experience. 

“It’s nice to meet you all,” Suzukaze said with a bow. “Thank you for keeping Hanako-hime safe.”

“Just doing our job,” Sasuke muttered, stuffing his hands casually into his pockets.

“Well, I’m glad it’s you lot on the job,” he replied with a laugh. “Now, you must excuse me, I have to make sure the palace shinobi guard have any holes covered in the security.”

“Might want to find Noboru and his team, then,” Kakashi suggested in a mild tone. “They should be studying the security plan right now.”

Suzukaze gave a short nod of agreement, planting a quick kiss on Hanako’s cheek before flickering away. Hanako face slipped into a dreamy smile as she watched him go. Kakashi cleared his throat to draw her attention, causing her to blush pinker than her hair.

“My apologies!” she tittered in embarrassment. “Where were we?”

“You’re pretty lucky to have a fiancé like him,” Ryou mused. “Was it an arranged marriage?”

She shook her head, candy floss hair flying everywhere. “No, no. Father was going to arrange a marriage for me when I turned seventeen…but he passed away before the time came. Suzukaze has been part of my guard since I was young, just after he became a genin. You could say the affection grew naturally over time. It seemed only fitting that it became romantic in nature.”

“I’m sorry to hear about your father.”

Hanako took a breath. “Thank you. He’d always fallen ill in autumn when the seasons changed…we just didn’t find out it was pneumonia and not just a simple flu until it was too late. I didn’t really have time to mourn…not long after I had to go on my pilgrimage to our family’s ancestral shrine in the Land of Rivers. This has all happened so fast…” 

I could see the tears trickling down her cheeks. Disregarding whatever rules of decorum this world had about interacting with royalty, I reached out and pulled her into a hug. She was so young. Too young for this kind of responsibility. The fact she could face it head on with a smile was a testament to her strength. Naruto would have liked her. 

Sasuke frowned in confusion. “Wait a minute, go back to the Land of Rivers thing.”

“The people of the Land of Flowers used to live in the Land of Rivers, before it officially became the Land of Rivers,” Kakashi explained as Hanako sniffled and dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief. “The country was devastated by war a long time ago and many people left and migrated to this area, which was heavily protected by the mountains around it. The people who settled here eventually established the country now known as the Land of Flowers.”

“Every monarch makes a pilgrimage to our ancestral shrine before their coronation,” Hanako said, her voice still a little shaky. “Normally I would have much more time between the pilgrimage and the ceremony, but since father died so suddenly…Ken-nii-san insisted…”

“Your cousin seems to insist on a lot of things,” I muttered. 

Hanako looked a little ashamed, her hands clutching at the long sleeves of her kimono. “He’s older than I am…and uncle trained him in politics heavily since he was a child, just as my father taught me. Sometimes…I think too much and I find myself paralyzed and unable to make a choice. Ken-nii-san always seems to be able to make decisions so easily. He just wants us to do the best for the country.”

“But you can never grow into your position of queen if he keeps forcing his decisions on you!” I insisted, possibly too harshly. Hanako flinched under the force of my words. 

“Maa, well, I suppose that’s something that can be worked out after the ceremony,” Kakashi interrupted with a casual shrug. “Come, hime-sama, I think you were just about to show us your garden.”

 

We crowded into Kakashi’s suite later that night. Things needed to be discussed.

“The guard seem to have things pretty well in hand,” Noboru admitted. “All balconies, entrances, and hallways are being covered by them. But when I mentioned that someone could easily come over the walls via the rooftops they seemed flabbergasted by it.” 

“Well, most normal people don’t really think about covering rooftops,” Sakura reminded. “The only reason we do is because we’re from a shinobi village.”

Noboru-sensei sighed, running a hand through his hair. “This is why I hate working with civilians sometimes.”

“Suzukaze-san promised that the shinobi guard would protect the rooftops and walls, though,” Lee said enthusiastically. Though, honestly that’s just how he said everything.

“But can we trust them?” Kakashi asked, crossing his arms loosely over his chest. “Ken is in charge of the shinobi here, isn’t he? If it’s true he’s planning a coup against Hanako-hime…”

“We wondered that ourselves,” Mai agreed. “But it appears that the palace guard shinobi aren’t under Ken’s leadership. They were always directly under the king. If there are any shinobi we can trust, it’d be Suzukaze and his comrades. All the others are up in the air.”

“Should we tell them about our suspicions?” I asked. “We’re going to need all the help we can get if we’re going to be fighting an army of shinobi.”

“Perhaps, but if we do tell them, we risk the information being leaked to Ken,” Noboru argued. 

“Then just tell one of them,” Ryou suggested. “We tell Suzukaze and gage his reaction to the idea. If he seems to agree with us, then we’ll let him spread the news. That way, even if it gets back to Ken, he might not suspect us of knowing.”

Noboru-sensei hummed thoughtfully. “It’s an idea.”

“What do we tell Hanako-sama?” Sakura asked, worry creeping into her voice.

“Nothing, for now,” Kakashi answered. “There’s no need to scare her. She might put off the coronation and that’s the last thing we need right now.”

Mai’s fists clenched and she turned to glare at Kakashi. “She deserves to know.”

“I agree,” Kakashi said plainly. “But you’ll learn that in the shinobi world, deserving to know and needing to know are two very different things.”

Those words left a bitter taste in my mouth and I spoke before I really thought about whether I should or not. “Is that how the Third justified keeping all those secrets from Naruto?”

Everyone’s eyes were on me; I could feel them even though I refused to meet their gazes. I kept my eyes on the floor, my body so tense I was shaking. The more I thought about everything the Third had allowed, had done, the angrier it made me. But everyone fucking loved him like he was their goddamn grandpa. It was like Dumbledore all over again.

Kakashi sighed heavily. “Who can say? We’ll reconvene later, after we’ve all had some rest. Noboru, can I trust you to share our suspicions with Suzukaze?”

He must have nodded, because soon after the door opened and everyone filed out. There was a pause as I assumed Sasuke waited to see if I would look up at him, if I would move. When I didn’t, he left the room and the door slipped shut behind him. 

Kakashi’s shoes entered my line of sight and his hand cupped my jaw, gently prodding me to raise my eyes to look at him. I lifted my head at his prodding, but I still refused to meet his eye. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing beyond the bitterness that comes with growing up and realizing that not everything is sunshine and roses,” I grumbled. He said nothing. Maybe he was waiting for me to continue. Might as well, I learned Before that bottling things up only ever made me more bitter. “It’s just…how am I supposed to feel when this person that everyone says is so amazing actually did things that I think are horrible? I mean I know what it feels like to me it’s like…” I shouldn’t say it. It was a bad idea. But I was angry and bitter and I said it anyway. “It’s like finding out the person you thought was your best friend is the reason why the person you admired most is dead.”

Kakashi’s hand flinched back from my jaw. I finally looked at him. His hand hovered in the air, unmoving. I’d been pretty damn vague, but it might have been enough. At least enough to get him to consider it, even for the briefest moment. 

“That’s…” He swallowed thickly around his words. “That’s a very specific feeling.”

“But you get when I mean, right? It’s like…like swallowing down something bitter just before someone punches you in the gut. And then the bitter taste is back only this time it’s worse because it burns from the bile. And you wonder if everyone is just as terrible and if they are than who can you trust?!”

Kakashi stuffed his hand into his pocket, echoing my words in a soft voice as his gaze fell to the floor. “Who can you trust?” 

Oh no. No, don’t pull away from me now! Not after all the progress we made yesterday! I didn’t mean it! Fuck, why did I have to be so stupid?

“You.”

He looked up at me and I felt my chest squeeze at the surprise in his eye.

“I can trust you,” I repeated. “You, Iruka, Ryou and Mai, Noboru-sensei, Sakura and Lee, Gai-sensei too. All of my ducklings and their teammates, really. Genma. Tou-san and kaa-san. Kasasagi-chan and Daisuke-kun. Hanako-hime, I think. Mori and Gan. Sasuke…and Naruto.”

“That’s quite a few people,” Kakashi noted mildly, the tension melting from his shoulders. 

“I guess it is,” I admitted. 

Kakashi moved closer, his hands slipping from his pockets to rest on my hips. I wasn’t entirely sure what to do with my own hands. Resting them on his arms seemed like a good idea, and he didn’t object when I moved to do so. It felt good to have physical contact again. It…grounded me, some how.

“I think…” He paused, his hands flexing against the fabric of my tunic. “I think I understand your frustration. It’s not the betrayed trust you’re angry about. Well, it is, but that’s not the core of it. Things happened, things you couldn’t prevent or do anything about. You’re angry at your past helplessness. But you can’t focus on that. You just have to keep moving forward, and make tomorrow better.”

“Why do I feel like you’re the kind of person who doesn’t take their own advice?” I joked, wanting out of the solemn atmosphere we seemed to find ourselves in a lot.

“We already had a Talk about my issues, it’s your turn now.”

“I don’t think we’ll EVER be done talking about your issues.”

 

“Kourubi-san?”

I pulled my attention away from the shinobi watching us from the trees, humming to let Hanako-hime know I was listening. She was fiddling with her sleeves again, something I recognized myself doing when I had sleeves to fiddle with. 

“Do you think I will be a strong leader?”

Well, that was a loaded question if I ever heard one. 

“Maybe,” I said thoughtfully. “But I don’t think you necessarily have to be one. Good leaders can be lots of things. Strong is certainly one of them, but you can’t discount leaders who are kind, or wise, or honest. I think those sorts of things fit you much better than ‘strong’ does. Your people love you already, hime-sama, to change to fit some idea that someone else has of what a good leader should be would only undermine that love. Why would you change for one person when your whole country loves you as you are?”

She seemed…not angry with my answer, but not happy with it either. She went quiet, a contemplative frown on her face. I wasn’t sure she realized that she had a strength of her own, one that most people wouldn’t see when they looked for strength. Tsunade was a strong leader; she commanded legions of shinobi easily and with a firm hand and a loud voice. But she was also kind; she had to be…sympathy ran high in the medic corps. She even rewarded kindness, something most shinobi leaders didn’t do. My promotion was evidence of that. I thought about my father, and the kind of leader he was. He never made a decision that would affect the clan without getting a second opinion, even if he ended up going with his gut feeling anyway. 

I took another look at Hanako. Her frown remained but there was a spark in her eye, like she’d come to some kind of decision.

What kind of leaders would we be?

 

The ceremony took place in the throne room. The nobility packed the room with heavy perfumes and the soft swishing sounds of silk. Hanako could barely move in her god knows how many layers of kimono. She sat straight and tall, hair left loose as it pooled around her feet. I spotted Suzukaze in the shadows behind the crowd, his pale eyes darting about the room. He seemed to be in the same boat as us.

No one knew where Ken was.

Motohiro carried out the crown. It was a delicate looking thing, all thin, golden swirls of ivy and flowers made of opals. I’d never seen anything like it. Kages didn’t have crowns, just those silly looking hats. A choir sang some operatic song that I assumed was akin to a national anthem. The delicate crown was set gingerly atop Hanako’s pretty head as the song swelled only to end suddenly with the booming of a taiko drum.

“Lords and Ladies, people of the Land of Flowers,” Motohiro spoke loudly and with purpose. “I present to you, your queen!”

“Might want to hold off on that, Motohiro-san.”

My hand went to my sword as Ken appeared in the middle of the room in a swirl of petals along with a small army of masked shinobi all bearing the Land of Flower’s headband.

“Dear, sweet cousin,” Ken cooed, striding closer to Hanako. “We both know you’re not really fit to rule. You’re too soft, too indecisive. The people need a stronger ruler than you could ever be. Give the crown to me, abdicate, and I’ll lead our country into a golden age. What say you, hime?”

I tensed as all eyes went to Hanako. Instead of the betrayal and shock I expected to see, her eyes were sharp, and bright.

“Nii-san,” she said, her voice ringing in the hall. “You may take this crown if you can pry it from my cold, dead hands!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way! I've got more wonderful art of Kourubi to share with you guys! All art related to the series along with chapter updates and anything else MFAW related can be found [at the Official Melody From Another World blog](http://melodyfromanotherworld.tumblr.com/post/153841555293/thegreatestofgames-fantastic-art-of-kourubi-done)
> 
> Anyway, that's all I got for you this time!


	21. In Which a Queen is Crowned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the later than usual update, I was visiting family over the weekend and just got back. But at least I'm still on time! Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this update. Happy holidays! -skips away humming 'All I want for Christmas is a TvTropes page'-

The throne room exploded in a flurry of action. Doors were thrown open and nobles stepped over each other as they tried to flee. A platoon of shinobi, each of them masked and wearing the Land of Flower’s headband, appeared in the center of the room. One of the shinobi decided to try and be a goddamn hero and rushed the princess, sword drawn. Noboru-sensei intercepted him with a pair of kunai, stopping him in his tracks. Suzukaze came up right behind him, stabbing the shinobi in the back. 

“Where are the others?” Noboru shouted.

“Dealing with the panicked nobles, no doubt,” Suzukaze replied with a scowl. “Ken must have planned that. Deal with the traitors, I’ll keep Hanako safe.” 

I charged out into the fray, tanto drawn. I could see bodies flying across the room, my eyes catching sight of Mai and Lee fighting back to back. I watched just long enough to see Mai punch a man through a window before settling my attention of the enemies closest to me. One had his back to me, focused on Noboru-sensei, who was using some wind technique to push back the shuriken being thrown at him. Without warning, I thrust my tanto into the meaty part of the shinobi’s lower back. He collapsed with a cry, clutching at his wound. I jumped over him, tucking my tanto away. There were too many of them to deal with them one at a time like I was. I needed something that hit more people. I ran through a series of hand signs, conjuring one of the few lightning jutsu I knew.

Boar-ram-snake- horse-dragon. I held my hand out in front of me, palms towards a large group of enemy shinobi. “Raiton: Electromagnetic Murder!” 

Lightning shot out of my hands, leaving my palms tingling in the wake of it. The electricity flew through the air, latching onto the mass of shinobi. A few screamed in collapsed, but the vast majority of them seemed mostly unharmed, turning to glare in my direction. Well…shit. Might have held back a bit too much on that one. Lightning affinity was rare in Konoha, contrasting heavily with their rivals in Kumo, so I didn’t exactly have the best training with lightning release jutsu. Well, to be fair I didn’t have any training. Kourubi was the one with the training, even if it was subpar. The power of the technique had been spread unevenly, leaving me with some very unhappy Flower village shinobi. 

“Futon: Great Breakthrough!”

A gust of wind rushed passed me, pushing the shinobi back. I glanced over my shoulder to see Noboru-sensei’s blazing amethyst eyes as he exhaled a maelstrom at the shinobi I’d failed to knock out. 

“There’s too many of them,” he muttered. “And I can’t think of a way of stunning them all at once. At least, not with everyone in the fray like they are.”

I nodded, frowning heavily at the whole situation. There were only eight of us fighting a veritable army of enemy combatants. My hands clenched into fists by my side…and then I thought of something. It was crazy. And I’d never tried anything like it before. But if it worked…

“Everybody get close!” I shouted. “I’m about to try something crazy!”

I felt Sasuke press up against my back. “How crazy?”

I smirked. “Pretty damn crazy.”

Kakashi appeared before me, mere inches from pressing our chests together. “This close enough?”

“It’ll do,” I teased.

Ryou slid into place beside Sasuke, holding Sakura close as he healed an injury on her arm. “If you’re doing something crazy, shouldn’t we get away from you?”

I shook my head, catching sight of Lee and Mai slipping into my bubble as I did. “I’m not sure how far I can throw this, but you all need to be at least within arms’ reach.”

Noboru shot me a concerned look. “What are you throwing?”

I smirked. “You’ll see.”

Ram-rat-snake-dragon. I broke the seals and held my hands centimeters apart from each other, focusing my chakra into the space in between. I could feel the vibrations between my palms, hear the music it made. It grew louder and I pulled my hands apart. 

_Ahh, wouldn’t it be nice if our voices, as they are,_  
_Could make it to the corners of this world without fading away_  
_If we were to succeed in that, what words should we release there?_  
_On the count of three, let’s make that everlasting promise!_

I threw out my hands to either side just as the guitars exploded into life. Two small points of chakra hovered just beyond the reach of my fingertips, spilling music into the air, loud and throbbing. The shinobi around us were thrown back, covering their ears as they struggled against the vibrations that pushed at them. 

“Melody From Another World – Fortissimo!” 

Just before the music died down from its sudden crescendo, I turned to look Kakashi in the eye. “Go!”

We dispersed. I could see Ken struggling to get up from the floor, blood dripping from one of his ears. If we stopped him, then everything would be over. Mai must have had the same idea, because we rushed for him at the same time. I drew my katana as Mai reached into her pouch for a particularly long and thin kunai. Ken sat up on his knees, breathing harshly as he struggled to keep balance with his inner ear royally fucked with and the sound waves still pulsing off my skin. He raised his hands, possibly in an attempt to perform a jutsu, but that wasn’t happening.

I ducked under Mai’s outstretched arm, letting the tip of my katana pierce Ken’s right palm. Mai’s kunai stabbed through Ken’s other hand, throwing him back against the wall, pinning him there. I cut off my jutsu, the throne room going deathly silent.

“Enough!” I shouted. The shinobi paused and turned to see their leader pinned the wall. A few thought they’d be stupid and charged at us in an attempt to free Ken, only to be intercepted by our friends. Sasuke was particularly vicious in this, cutting the Achilles tendon on any stupidly brave Flower village shinobi who passed too close to him. 

“Stop it!” Hanako shouted, scrambling down from Suzukaze’s arms. “Please, don’t fight any more! You’re done.”

A few of the ninja flinched, the desperate plea of their monarch tugging at their heartstrings. Hanako stepped down from the dais, walking slowly, regally, through the crowd towards her cousin. She stopped just out of reach, her face solemn. Her dark eyes met Ken’s, and for a long while, she simply stared at him searchingly. 

When she finally spoke, she said a single word. “Why?” 

Ken spat at the ground, leaving a small dot of blood on the floor. “We are tiny, and weak. Every day the five Great Nations grow stronger, one of these days they’ll look to our land, so fertile and peaceful, and want it for their own. I knew you could never handle that. I wanted to take that burden from you. But then…then these enemy shinobi came and filled your head with misguided dreams. And you…I was perfectly content to take the throne peacefully but you gave me no choice!”

“No choice?” Hanako whispered. Then she said it again, louder. “No choice?! No choice is watching you parade around after father died ordering me about like a child. No choice is being shipped off from my people when the loss was still new. No choice? I gave you every choice! If you were so concerned about the people then you could have helped me! But now…”

She turned away; her shoulders were shaking. “Now you are stripped of your name and title.” She whirled on him, snatching a kunai from the floor.

Noboru-sensei darted forward, hand out to stop her. “Your majesty, wait-!”

With a sharp, dramatic movement, the kunai cut through Ken’s forehead protector, leaving a long, horizontal gash in the village’s symbol. 

“You are hereby banished from the Land of Flowers. Your name, your inheritance, and your title and claim to the throne are forfeit,” Hanako announced, her voice echoing in the hall. “I don’t care where you go, as long as it is far away from me.” She turned her gaze to Mai and me. “Release him.”

“Not until you get out of range, your majesty,” Mai insisted gently, her pale coffee eyes darting between Hanako and the still pinned Ken.

Suzukaze moved forward, wrapping his arms around Hanako and pulling her away. Only when they were back across the room did I pull my katana back, watching with no small amount of glee as pain twisted across Ken’s face. Shitty cousins seemed to be a running theme in this world. I could only hope my shitty cousin would be easier to deal with than Hanako’s.

“Suzukaze-kun.” Hanako’s voice was quieter now as the weight of her decision settled in her stomach. “Have some of the men escort Ken-san out of the kingdom. He is to be given enough food and water for two day’s travel. That should be enough to get him to the next town.”

Suzukaze nodded silently, flickering out of sight. Hanako turned her dark gaze to us once more, her eyes settling on Lee and Sasuke.

“Would you two be so kind as to walk Ken-san out of the palace. I would prefer if he didn’t continue bleeding on my floors.”

Lee and Sasuke wasted no time in hauling Ken up onto his feet and dragging him out the door. He didn’t struggle, broken not by his failure, but the consequences of it. He risked everything to hopefully ensure the safety of his people, and now he’d been cast from them. And most of them wouldn’t even know he’d done it for them. Were his opponent anyone other than Hanako, kind woman that she was, he could have been a martyr. Noboru-sensei and Kakashi glanced around at the remaining Flower shinobi.

“What should be done with them, your majesty?” Kakashi asked.

Hanako’s shoulders slumped as she took in the sheer amount of her ninja that had been turned against her. “I do not know what Ken-san said to convince them of his point of view. What ever it was, I want to assure them that it doesn’t have to be true. There is more than one kind of strength in this world. I would like the opportunity to prove it to them.” 

“You’re…you’re not going to banish us?” a rather young sounding shinobi asked.

Hanako shook her head, cotton candy hair flying everywhere. “No. You followed Ken out of fear for your country, didn’t you? That is no crime. Attempting to harm your monarch on the other hand…”

Several of the ninja winced.

“Responsibility must be taken for your actions,” she continued. “As such, until an opportunity to take said responsibility is presented to you, I must confine you to the penitentiary. I hope you do not think too poorly of me for it.”

Suzukaze returned in that instant with a small company of palace guards. I was surprised to see them go without much of a struggle (not so much the ones that’d been knocked out though). They seemed truly remorseful for their actions. It was amazing what someone could be convinced to do when the right words came out of the right mouth, both in a good way and in a bad way. 

“You know, your majesty,” Ryou called, swinging his staff lazily. “You probably shouldn’t sound so apologetic when sentencing people for crimes.”

Hanako tilted her head curiously. “But I am sorry. Had I been able to address their concerns earlier then they would not have been so easily swayed to Ken’s side, right?”

Sakura shrugged. “That’s something we can never know. But I agree with Ryou-senpai. A firm hand is needed when dealing punishments. The gentle hand can come once the punishment is over.”

“If she wasn’t thirteen, I’d get some serious BDSM vibes from that,” Mai muttered. She winced when I dug my elbow into her side.

 

The after coronation party, despite starting very late, went off without a hitch. The nobles downed a little more sake than they might have normally, but no one was about to comment on that. Well, except me, I just did. But no one said anything out loud at least. Hanako stood beside me, sipping on something that I suspected wasn’t alcoholic; though it was her coronation and she’d probably earned a drink or two.

“Why did you let him go?” I asked, the words tumbling out my mouth before I could think about what I was asking. I did that a lot, needed to figure out how to stop.

Hanako’s small, polite smile that she’d been putting on for the nobles fell. “Ken was willing to kill to gain power. I didn’t want to have to kill to keep it. I…tried to find a solution where everyone came out alive.”

“Makes you better than most shinobi,” I muttered, leaning against a table of refreshments. “For us, there’s never really an option that leaves everyone alive. The only choice you make is whether you kill them or let them kill you.”

Hanako eyed me curiously. “It sounds like you do not like being a ninja.”

I gave her a bitter smile. “I’m a shinobi for one reason: to protect my loved ones. If someone tried to hurt them…I don’t think I’d look for an option where everyone walks away alive. I would kill them. ‘Cause I’m not that good of a person. Sorry if I made you think I was.”

Hanako shook her head. “I don’t care if you think you’re a good person. I care what they think of you.” She nodded towards my friends, who were crowded around Mai and Lee as they engaged in deadly combat.

Arm wrestling…they were arm wrestling. Couldn’t tell who was wining. 

“And they love you.” 

But would they love me if they knew the truth? They thought I was Kourubi, but I wasn’t…even if the distinction was getting harder and harder to make. 

I turned back to Hanako, the bitterness in my smile turning sad. “They love who they think I am.”

She shrugged. “That’s all anyone ever loves. But who they think you are, and who you actually are might not be as different as you think.” 

I stared at her, trying to process what she’d said. “Okay, did the crown come with plus ten to your wisdom checks or did you just roll a natural twenty?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she laughed. “But I suppose that means I’ll be good at giving queenly wisdom.”

I grinned, feeling the sadness slip away for now. “Yeah, yeah you will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs Mentioned
> 
> [Yumetourou/Dream Lantern by Radwimps](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghM2v11KNqU) (This is a cover, because I can't find the original on youtube for you guys. But if you have iTunes/Apple Music, you can find the original there. I suggest checking it out, along with the other songs on the album. Zenzenzense is practically Kourubi's theme song (and that one you can find on youtube!))


	22. In Which We Say Something Important

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, my dears! Happy New Year! I return to you from the chaos of 2016 with a new chapter. Anyway, let me know what you think in the comments down below as usual. Hope you enjoy it!

“Are you certain you can’t stay longer?” 

Hanako stood on the palace steps, Motohiro-san to her right and Suzukaze to her left. It was early, and she’d yet to dress properly for the day. Her sleeping yukata was plain, but well made. She clutched the collar tight against the cool morning air. 

“While we’ve appreciated your hospitality, your majesty,” Kakashi said smoothly, “we must be getting back to our village. We’ve been gone an awful long time.”

“I see,” she sighed. “I will miss you all. You’ve become very dear to me these past few days.”

“We feel the same,” Sakura insisted gently. “Maybe you can come and visit us in Konoha again sometime.”

Hanako nodded with a smile. “I would like that. And if you ever find yourselves this way again, just know you always have friends among the flowers.”

I exhaled through my nose in some kind of half laugh. Cause really, that was so corny.

Lee grinned at her, raising his hand in a thumbs up gesture. “And you have friends in the leaves, your majesty!” And really, only Lee could get away with saying something that ridiculous and have it still sound right. 

We waited until we were past the strictly-maintained farms and their apiaries before taking off into what I liked to call ninja sprint. Landscape passed by in a blur; we scaled the cliff face that separated the Land of Flowers from the rest of the world in bounds. We sailed through the trees, crossing great distances that civilians could never hope to travel in such a short time frame. It’d taken us something like four days to get to the Land of Flowers going Motohiro’s pace. This way, we’d make it back in half the time. 

“I’m really not looking forward to sleeping on the ground after spending all that time in those fancy beds,” I said, filling the silence as we soared through the forest.

“Ugh, I know!” Ryou grumbled. “I’ll never look at beds the same way again. Nothing will ever compare to those mattresses.” 

The genin picked up on the conversation, starting a running commentary that lasted well into the day. 

“Hey, sensei,” Sakura called over her shoulder, a question in her voice.

Kakashi, who’d been silent the whole trip, seemingly lost in thought, blinked owlishly at her. “Hmm, what is it?”

“I was wondering about something Ken said…about how he thought the Land of Flowers would be invaded…”

Kakashi hummed thoughtfully before answering. “I’m not sure where he got the idea that the Elemental Nations want their territory, but he’s wrong. The Land of Flowers is fertile, yes, but it’s also very small. And while they don’t have the same numbers that someone like the Land of Lightning does, they have enough highly trained shinobi that they could put up a bigger fight than most would want to deal with when invading a country. No, Sakura, no one is going to invade the Land of Flowers. It’s not worth it.” 

“Paranoia isn’t always a bad thing, especially as a shinobi,” Noboru added. “But one always needs to make sure that paranoia doesn’t transform into madness.”

Not much later we bunkered down for the night at the base of a very large tree. Firewood was gathered and food was eaten. I already missed the food from the Land of Flowers. God, I couldn’t wait to get home. Hopefully kaa-san would be there and willing to cook me some decent food. Okay, ‘decent’ was selling her short. Kaa-san was a great cook. Even tou-san was pretty good. Ugh, I needed to learn how to cook. And bake. I promised Iruka and Kakashi cakes on their birthdays…

“Kou-chan.”

My head snapped in the direction of Kakashi’s voice, still unused to the way the nickname sounded when he said it. “Hmm, yeah what?”

“You’re on first watch with me,” he said, sounding almost amused by my distraction. Not like he hadn’t been distracted all freaking day but whatever. 

The fire was doused until it only barely smoldered and Kakashi and I sat atop the giant roots of the tree we’d parked ourselves under for the night. Watch was boring when you weren’t expecting anyone to show up. You just sort of stared into the darkness for a few hours, listening to all the nasty little bugs buzz and chirp. If you were lucky, you’d see some interesting animal, usually an owl or a deer. Watch with a partner could be better, if you could keep up a decent conversation. 

But Kakashi didn’t really seem to be up for talking tonight, which was a shame. We’d been so good about the talking and the communicating recently. Even if the topics of those conversations weren’t the most savory of things. I stopped looking at him from out of the corner of my eye, turning my gaze back to the dark forest around us. I shivered against the cold breeze. Early spring was still nearly as cold as winter in the Land of Fire, with its temperate climate that got cold in the winter and stupid hot and humid in the summer. Least we weren’t in the Land of Water, which was humid all year round. 

“You cold?” Kakashi’s question startled me. I hadn’t expected him to say anything.

“Little,” I admitted. “It’s not too bad.”

He patted the space of root right next to him. I scooted over, letting him loop an arm around me and pull me close. In all honesty, it didn’t make much of a difference, but it was a nice gesture, nonetheless.

“Better?”

I nodded. We were quiet once more, and I felt the curiosity itch at the back of my mind. What was he thinking about? Was it important? Or was he just tired of being on a mission and that’s why he seemed so out of it? 

“Hey, um…” He turned to look at me and I felt my brain hiccup for a hot second. God we’ve been together like, what? Six months? Maybe? And he still trips me up like a fangirl. “You’ve…been quiet today, seem kinda distracted. Is everything okay?”

He looked back out into the night, sighing dramatically. He leaned heavily against me, something he did to the kids too when he was messing around with them. “Just thinking about things.”

Well obviously you were thinking about things, Kakashi. But I wanted to know what kind of things, you dumb-dumb. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Not yet.” The tone of his voice changed. Less ‘I’m acting bored because I feel like messing with you’ and more ‘I’m being serious and if you can’t tell then that’s your fault’. “I’m still figuring things out.”

“Oh… okay.” Great, Kourubi, keep it up. Use those communication skills. 

He let out a little half exhale, half laugh thing, pressing his head against mine. “I’ll tell you all about it once I figure it out, okay?”

“Okay.”

 

We really pushed it the next day. Every one of us wanted to not spend another night out in the woods. Beds were missed, as were families. I knew for a fact that Ryou was not looking forward to changing diapers again, but even he admitted to missing Umeko. She was starting to learn how to walk now. Not that she was very good at it yet, he admitted, but it was enough to give the cats a scare. Especially Cheesecake, who seemed to be Umeko’s favorite ‘playmate’, and Toaster, who, again, was scared of everything. 

It was a few hours after noon when we finally caught sight of the village walls and slowed our asses down to an easy walk. No point in speeding up to the gate house after all. Izumo and Kotetsu (who I could swear were always on gate duty) weren’t who we were rushing home to see after all. That didn’t stop Lee from jogging ahead, nor did it stop Sasuke from running after him, making Lee challenge him to a race and well…

They really were just mini versions of their teachers sometimes.

I walked slowly, nearly matching the pace of Kakashi, who always seemed to walk behind everyone else, keeping an eye on things. I could feel his eye on me when it swept over the group. I could see Lee and Sasuke standing at the gate already. Fast little buggers. I needed to add more pounds to my leg weights…

The sound of footsteps behind me stopped, which made me pause.

“Kou-chan.” I turned, looking back at Kakashi, who was smiling. This smile seemed different from the ones I’d seen so far. Something about it was mischievous in an ‘I have a secret and you’re going to freak out when I tell you’ sort of way. But it was also a little sweet, and soft. A strange smile indeed. I mentally patted my back for my ability to read his expressions lately. Oh, his eye twinkled…

“I love you.”

Now I’m not entirely sure how to describe the noise I made, but it was something akin to that string of letters you get when you’re writing alone in your room and someone throws open the door and scares the shit out of you and you just kinda slam your hands on the keyboard. Yeah. Kinda like that. 

I dropped down into a crouch, knees tight against my chest as my hands flew up to hide my rapidly reddening face. I could hear Kakashi laughing, the kind of laugh someone did when they were surprised or shocked and didn’t know what else to do. 

“What was that?” he asked, his voice shaking with laughter.

“You dumbass!” I shouted up at him, my face still red and only getting redder. “I thought I was gonna be the first one to say it…”

“Well, why hadn’t you?”

“Because I was waiting for the right time! I didn’t want to say it too soon and freak you out.”

He shook his head at me, holding out a hand to help me up. “Sounds like you’ve been thinking about it too hard.”

I glared at him. “Oh please, like this wasn’t what you’ve been thinking about these past few days.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I groaned, letting my head rest against his chest. His fingers combed through my hair, which fell past my shoulders now, catching on a few knots.

“I love you, too,” I murmured into the fabric of his vest. Even when you hate yourself more than any of your enemies ever could.

“I should hope so,” Kakashi teased. “Otherwise I’d be very disappointed.”

I smacked lightly at his arm, barely even grazing his arm under the sleeve. “Oh, shush. Like you didn’t know I’ve been in love with you since the beginning.” Or even before that, but he didn’t need to know about that yet. Or ever, if I had anything to say about it.

“Are you two coming or not?!” Ryou’s exasperated voice reached our ears. I turned, seeing him with arms crossed and his foot tapping impatiently. 

“Calm your tits, Ryou, we’re coming,” I called, taking Kakashi’s hand in mine and tugging him along. I turned my attention back to Kakashi. “I have a feeling you probably won’t want to cook tonight…you can come over for dinner, if you want.”

“Sure you won’t get tired of spending time with me?”

I squeezed his hand a little tighter. “Never. Why? Do you get tired of seeing me?”

“Hmmm, nope.”

We handed our IDs over to Izumo and Kotetsu for examination. The two of them were disturbingly efficient, a testament to how often they were out here, really, and we were through the gate a few minutes later. Ryou took off into the village, bounding over rooftops in the direction of his home with only the briefest of ‘bye’s tossed over his shoulder before he left. Mai waved casually, promising Lee that she’d turn up for training the next day before walking off towards the Red Light District. Noboru and Lee left together, probably heading towards Gai’s place, wherever he lived.

I felt someone tug on my tunic and turned to see Sasuke shifting awkwardly from one foot to the next. “I’m going to walk Sakura home…I’ll be back for dinner.”

“It doesn’t take that long to walk someone home, baby brother.”

A pale blush bloomed on his cheeks. “I know.”

Oh? Ohhhhh! I grinned at him. “Alright, send Tsutsuji on ahead to let kaa-san know, then.”

He nodded and turned to leave with Sakura. A few moments later, Tsutsuji took off into the sky. Kakashi and I walked a little farther together, pausing at the intersection between the main street and the side road he lived on.

“You know,” he mused. “If you really want to say it first, you might want to tell Iruka.”

He placed a kiss to the top of my head before wandering off, leaving me to mull over his words. A giddy, bubbly feeling filled my stomach and I giggled, feeling my whole body shake with excitement. Where would Iruka be this time of the day? The Academy should be letting out soon, right? Bouncing on my toes, I sent Mori and Gan off to let kaa-san know I was back in the village, but had to run an errand before I returned home. I booked it towards the Academy, hoping I’d get there before Iruka left for the Missions Desk. 

Kids were spilling out of the schoolyard and into the streets when I got there. Perfect. I dodged around the excited kiddos and made my way through the noisy Academy halls. Ah! There he was, standing in the classroom doorway, watching as his students filed out for the day. Konohamaru caught sight of me, but I silently shushed him before he could make a sound and give me away. He grinned mischievously and slapped a hand over Udon’s mouth as the bespectacled boy was about to call out to me. Moegi waved shyly as they passed by, smiling back when I flashed her a grin. 

With all the students out in the hallway, Iruka turned to watch them leave. His eyes went wide when he spotted me just before I jumped for him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

“Kourubi!”

“Iruka!” I matched his surprised tone playfully, grinning when he wrapped his arms around me so I wouldn’t fall. “I missed you.”

Oh, and I definitely missed that smile of his. “I missed you, too. What happened? You don’t normally come find me after you get home…”

“Oh, no. I just wanted to tell you something and I didn’t want to wait.”

“Really? What’s that?”

“I love you.”

Oooh, pink looked really nice on his cheeks. He sputtered adorably, his arms loosening around my waist before tightening again. His eyes shot up and around the hallway, as if waiting for someone to pop out and yell ‘Gotcha!’ at him. 

“You’re serious?” he asked when his gaze finally returned to me.

“Like the plague.” 

I could see his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed thickly. His dark eyes remained on mine, trying desperately to read me. Not like I made it hard, I was never very good at hiding how I felt about things. Finally, I could feel the muscles of his back and shoulders relax under my hands. There was that smile again. The metal of our headbands clinked together as he pressed his forehead against mine. When he said it, it was quiet, like a secret.

“Love you, too.” 

A happy laugh bubbled up from my stomach and I didn’t even bother trying to stop it. Today…today was the best day.

“Come over for dinner tonight,” I told him. “I want to see you when I’m clean and not quite as tired.”

“You’ll just end up falling asleep on me whether you’re tired or not,” he teased, finally setting me back on the ground. It was honestly kind of impressive that he held me up for so long. 

“I like sleep. And it’s not my fault you’re so comfy to nap with.” 

He sighed softly, and it almost sounded like a laugh. “Alright, I’ll come.”

“Good.” A quick kiss to his lips sealed the deal. “I’ll see you soon.”

Tou-san and kaa-san were in the lounge when I returned, spread out over the couch reading. She lowered her book when she heard me open the door with the usual call of ‘I’m home’ and gave me a smile.

“Welcome home, Kourubi-chan. I know Sasuke’s with Sakura but what errand did you have to run off and do when you got home?”

“Probably went to see Iruka,” tou-san grunted, turning the page of his book. 

“So what if I did?” I asked, faking annoyance as I wandered into the lounge and leaned on the back of the couch.

“Then you’re very predictable,” he teased, finally dropping his book and reaching up to poke me in the cheek. “Welcome home, kiddo.”

I turned my head just enough that when I poked out my tongue it caught tou-san’s finger, making him shout and take his hand back. I shot a raspberry in his direction. “They’re coming for dinner tonight, by the way. So I’m gonna clean up. Tell me when you’re starting to cook and I’ll come down and help.” 

“Honestly, they’re over here so much they might as well move in,” kaa-san murmured, a thoughtful look on her face as she tapped her book against her chin.

Tou-san shot her a look as he wiped my spit off his finger. “You mean they don’t live here already?”

 

Clean and wearing something other than the one outfit I’d taken with me on the mission, I wandered into the kitchen, finding tou-san pulling out pots and pans for cooking dinner.

“What are we having?” I asked, pausing to wash my hands in the sink before sliding up beside him at the counter. 

“Your mother figured we couldn’t go wrong with katsudon.” He replied, scooping rice into the rice cooker. “Grab the meat from the fridge, would you?”

We bustled about the kitchen, the doorbell ringing when my hands are covered in egg and panko crumbs. I heard Sasuke answer the door. When had he gotten back?

“Do you not have your own house?” Ah, must have been Kakashi. 

“Yes, but it’s not nearly as nice as this one.” I turned to see Kakashi step into the house proper, barely catching a glimpse of his silver hair from the open archway into the kitchen.

“Kakashi!” 

His eyes twinkled when he stepped further into the house and caught sight of me in the kitchen. He had a bottle of something in his hands, probably sake. He set it on the table as he wandered in, pressing a kiss to my cheek through his mask before greeting tou-san. 

“How was the mission?” tou-san asked. “She hasn’t told us anything yet.”

“The usual, I suppose,” Kakashi replied. “Escorted the princess home only to find there was a coup waiting for her. Defeated the bad guy, got to sleep in some fancy beds and eat some fancy food.” 

“Sounds pretty exciting to me.”

I turned and grinned. “Iruka!” I greeted him with a kiss. Kaa-san came wandering in after him, a small vase of flowers in her hands. And wasn’t it telling that Kakashi brought alcohol and Iruka brought flowers. Or maybe I was just reading too much into things. It happened on occasion.

“Everything sounds exciting when you’re stuck in the village, Iruka-sensei,” Kakashi drawled. 

“Your time to be stuck in the village is coming up, though, isn’t it, Kakashi-san?” Iruka replied, his smile not quite reaching his eyes.

“Now, don’t fight,” I warned, sounding all the world like a mother with rowdy kids.

Kakashi’s hand flew to his chest as if I’d wounded him. “Fighting? Us? Never!” 

Luckily for him, Sasuke interrupted. “What do you mean, his time to be stuck in the village?”

“All shinobi at or above chunin level spend a few months every three years doing in-village work, be it at the mission desk or the gate station or any number of the different offices. Ruki-senpai usually works with the Academy,” Iruka explained. “But more than that, the chunin exams are coming up again.”

“Ah, that’s right.” I remembered. “We missed the winter ones. I don’t even remember those being mentioned.”

“Because they were taking place in Kumo,” Kakashi informed me. Oh. Yes, that would explain why Tsunade didn’t bother to try and get Sasuke to go. Kumo had a…bad habit, lets say, of ‘collecting’ kekkei genkai. Plus with the incident with the Hyuuga family all those years ago, there’s no way Hinata or Neji would be allowed anywhere near those exams.

“Where are they being held this time?” Sasuke asked.

“Suna has offered to run them jointly with Konoha,” Iruka said. “Part of the exams will take place here, and the other part will take place there.” 

“That’ll certainly keep everyone on their toes,” I murmured. Then a thought occurred to me. “Wait. How will Sasuke and Sakura participate without a third member?”

“I’ve already talked with Noboru about that,” Kakashi assured, setting a hand on my shoulder. “Mai will be taking the third spot on the team.”

I sighed with relief only to realize something else. “Oh, but Ino and Chouji will need help finding someone to fill their vacancy too…”

“You might introduce them to your cousin Kakesu,” kaa-san suggested as she set the now finished katsudon on the table. “He hasn’t been able to participate in the exams since his team mates passed a year or two back. I’ll get in touch with him and see if he can’t find a time to meet with you about it.”

“It will be good experience for your training as clan head,” tou-san added.

I groaned. Everything seemed like it was training for my ascension to clan head. Honestly, tou-san and kaa-san probably just liked foisting responsibilities onto me so they wouldn’t have to deal with it. I barely even remembered a cousin Kakesu. I knew I had one (or…well, Kourubi had one) but what he looked like and his personality? I had nothing. His bird was pretty…maybe.

“Fine,” I muttered. “I’ll see what I can do.”

 

I caught Iruka slipping back into his shoes soon after dinner. “You’re leaving already?”

He smiled apologetically over his shoulder. “Sorry, I need to go make sure Naruto’s plants are okay. I forgot to water them yesterday.”

Ah. I’d wondered who was taking care of Naruto’s many, many houseplants while he was gone. “Oh…I see.”

He fidgeted slightly at how disappointed I sounded. “I can come back after, if you want.”

I nodded, trying not to seem too eager. “Please do. I’ve missed you.”

He smiled, turning fully and leaning down to give me a kiss. I don’t think I’d ever get bored of kissing them. 

“I’ll be back before you know it,” he promised.

“You better,” I warned playfully. “I have no problems with sending the birds out after you. All of them.” 

The door slid shut after him and I jumped at the feeling of arms wrapping around my waist until I noticed a familiar shock of silvery grey hair enter my line of sight as Kakashi settled his chin on my shoulder.

“Should I let you two have your time?”

I reached up to rest my hand on his cheek. “I sleep best with both of you here.”

“Okay,” he said into my neck. “I’ll stay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before I go, I wanted to share with you more amazing art. [This lovely sketch page of Kourubi featuring Naruto and Sasuke!](http://melodyfromanotherworld.tumblr.com/post/154988542028/more-wonderful-art-done-of-kourubi-featuring) Okay, that's all from me. Bye now! Happy New Year!


	23. In Which There Are Too Many Names

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello! I'm back again with another chapter update! I'm not gonna lie, these next few chapters get kinda heavy. Prepare for lots of angst. Enjoy!

Kakesu, as it turned out, was a big guy. Tall and broad-shouldered, he towered over me…and he was only sixteen if kaa-san could be believed. He sat before me, fidgeting nervously, looking at his hands as they picked at invisible specks of dust on his pants. His partner, a pretty blue and green bird he called Ninniku, puffed up his feathers in an attempt to look bigger than he actually was. 

“So…you really think they’ll let me onto their team for the exams?” Kakesu asked, his voice surprisingly quiet. 

I smiled at him, trying to be reassuring. I had not way of guaranteeing that Ino and Chouji would be willing to team up with him, but I couldn’t imagine that they’d reject him outright without a fair shot. “I don’t see why they wouldn’t. But I suppose we won’t find out just sitting around here talking about it.”

It wasn’t terribly hard to find Team 10. There were only so many barbeque places in the village, and the Akimichi clan ran one of them. Kakesu followed after me like a lost puppy, his hand clutching at the tails of my tunic when the streets got crowded. We slipped through the open door of the restaurant, our noses filling with the smells of cooking meat and vegetables. I caught the sight of Asuma-sensei’s head over the back of one of the booths towards the back of the building, his cigarette smoke floating up and out the open window. If everything went well, I could get in, introduce Kakesu, explain his situation, and get out before I ended up interrupting their meal. I smiled as I stepped close, Shikamaru catching sight of me first.

“Kourubi-senpai? What are you doing here?” he asked, lifting his head from his hand. 

“Hey there, Smartypants,” I greeted, watching him hide his face as Ino burst into giggles. “Good to see you too, Ino, Chouji. It’s been a while.”

“Too long,” Ino insisted. “Would you like to join us? We were just about to order.”

“No, thank you,” I said. “I’m just here to talk to you about a little proposition I have for you.”

“Does it have anything to do with the big guy behind you?” Shikamaru asked, pointing at Kakesu. 

“Yes, it does.”

“Well, sit down,” Asuma-sensei said. “This sounds like a conversation that might take a while.”

“Oh! Well, if you insist,” I mumbled, letting Shikamaru scoot closer to his teacher before sitting down. Kakesu hesitated far longer than I had before sitting beside Ino, only barely fitting on the seat. 

“So what’s this about?” Chouji asked, looking terribly squished as Ino pressed him up against the wall in an attempt to make room for my cousin.

“Well, the chunin exams are coming up soon, and Kakesu is in a similar situation to the two of you,” I explained.

Eyes shifted to Kakesu, who cleared his throat nervously. “My teammates passed the exam about two years ago. And I haven’t been able to find a team so I could participate in the exams since. But Kourubi-hime says you have an opening on your team I could fill.”

I tried not to make a face at the title, but I was fairly certain everyone at the table was aware of how uncomfortable it made me. I simply wasn’t used to being referred to in such a manner. Kourubi might have been, but…

“I figured it would be the best solution for all of us,” I finished. 

Ino eyed Kakesu appraisingly. Chouji seemed perfectly content with accepting the situation presented to him without argument. 

“We’ll give him a spin,” Asuma said eventually, settling the matter. “We’ve got enough time to get used to working together. Speaking of the exams, though, are you going to be volunteering for it, Kourubi?”

My attention shifted to Asuma, looking at him without fully turning my head his direction. “What do you mean, Asuma-sensei?”

“They always need a few extra hands during the chunin exams, and since you’re a chunin now, they’ll probably be calling on you for some help,” Asuma explained. “Like when they had chunin greet the exam takers after the second test last year. Shikamaru’s already been drafted.”

I hummed noncommittally. I didn’t exactly want to deal with the mess that the organization of a chunin exam was bound to be, especially since it was split between two hidden villages. 

“Iruka-sensei always seems to lend a hand as well,” Asuma drawled, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “Bet he’d be real happy to have you along for the ride.”

I glared at him, knowing exactly what he was playing at. Yes, I liked spending time with Iruka, but that didn’t mean I could be swayed into doing something I didn’t want to do just because he was going to be there. I wasn’t one of his students, seeing as Chouji could be convinced to do just about anything if promised food, and Ino would go any where if someone told her Sasuke would be there as well. 

“If they needed my help, they’d contact me,” I replied as diplomatically as possible. “Until then, I’m perfectly content with not giving a single fuck. Now, I have a few things to attend to. Kakesu, why don’t you stay and get to know everyone a little better? After all, you’ll be working with them for quite a while.” 

I made a quick escape out the front of the restaurant, leaving Kakesu to fend for himself. Did that make me a bad person? Maybe. Oh well, too late to go back now. He was a big boy, he could handle himself…possibly. You never could tell when Ino was involved. 

I wasn’t even three blocks away from the restaurant when I heard someone shout my name. Looking over my shoulder, I caught sight of Izumo and Kotetsu heading my way. Somehow it was always them. 

“What’s up, you guys?”

Izumo’s smile looks almost apologetic. Almost. “So, you know how the chunin exams are in June…”

…I hated my life. 

 

“So I’m apparently gonna be working the chunin exams,” I muttered through a mouthful of rice at dinner. 

“Doing what?” tou-san asked, lowering his tea cup just enough to see me over the rim.

“Security, mostly,” I answered. “After what happened during the last exam that took place in Konoha, they want more people on the ground at the event. They don’t think that Orochimaru is going to try and infiltrate the exam again or anything. But genin often have more to prove than any other shinobi rank, and if someone told a genin to fuck with the exams, they probably would.” 

“I thought you didn’t want to be involved with the chunin exams,” Kakashi said, glancing at me curiously.

I made a grumbling noise around my rice before swallowing enough to talk without being super gross. “I didn’t. But Izumo and Kotetsu caught me today after I introduced Kakesu to Asuma’s team and well, apparently they need the help and someone recommended me.” I turned to shoot a look at Iruka. “It wasn’t you, was it? Asuma tried to convince me to volunteer using you as a bargaining chip.”

Iruka shook his head. “It was Shikamaru-kun, actually. He gave you a glowing recommendation.”

If my chopsticks were of any lesser quality, they would have snapped under the sudden pressure of my fist. “That little bastard…sitting there listening to that whole conversation without saying a word. Lazy prick just didn’t want to suffer alone!”

“I’m surprised they let you anywhere near the exams,” Sasuke mused. “Considering you have family competing.” 

“I’m not proctoring the exams so I guess they don’t really care,” I reasoned. “Still, I really wish I didn’t have anything to do with it.”

“You could just tell them that, you know,” Kakashi reminded me. 

“Maybe if I had as much clout as you do,” I grumbled. “I’m a fairly new chunin, and while the Karasuno clan is kind of important, it’s not so important that I can wave around the name like a Get Out of Jail Free card. Besides, tou-san is still acting head, I can’t exactly claim administrative responsibilities yet.”

“I’m sure it won’t be as bad as you think,” Iruka assured. 

“I would believe you if we weren’t going to Suna,” I muttered. “I hate hot weather.”

Tou-san chuckled. “At least it’s a dry heat.”

“You know what else is a dry heat? Ovens. I won’t be able to take Mori and Gan with me, the poor things would cook alive in the desert.”

Sasuke glanced over to the window where Tsutsuji was sunning herself. “I guess I shouldn’t take Tsutsuji either.”

“Temporary summons should be fine,” kaa-san said. “But no, she should not be with you the whole time, even though I know that’s how you and Kourubi prefer things.”

Sasuke frowned, looking like he wanted to give up on the whole enterprise now that he couldn’t have his partner with him. I could understand that mindset. I didn’t want to deal with things half the time if I couldn’t do it with people I liked. The only reason I didn’t throw a bigger fit about working the exams was because Iruka, Shikamaru, and a few of my other friends would be there to suffer with me. Things were better when you had someone to complain about them with. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be too bad.

 

I groaned as a hand on my shoulder shook me from sleep. I couldn’t be sure what time it was, but whatever the clock said, it was too early. I batted blindly at the hand and turned away, curling into the side of one of my bedmates. Considering the warmth I found, it was probably Iruka. 

The hand persisted in its shaking, a voice calling my name softly as it did. “Kou-chan.”

I groaned again, louder this time, and opened my eyes. Iruka blinked awake at the same moment, a confused frown on his face. I glanced over my shoulder to see Kakashi, fully dressed and looking bright-eyed and bushy-tailed despite the fact it was still mostly dark outside, staring down at me. 

“Whaaaaat?” I whined, not bothering to try and hide my immaturity. That’s what he got for waking me up. 

“Get up,” Kakashi whispered. “I’ve got someone I want you to meet.”

Meet? Who could he possibly want me to meet at fuck o’clock in the morning? Besides, I was fairly certain I already knew everyone of importance in his life…Oh. Oh! I held back the gasp that clawed at my throat. Iruka’s arm snaked out and wrapped around my shoulders. I turn to share a look with him. Iruka had to know what was going on; there were very few people who knew how much Kakashi had lost. And even if they didn’t, what his father had done was pretty common knowledge.

“Actually, I have some people for you to meet as well,” Iruka said cautiously, looking to Kakashi. “If you’re okay with that.”

Their gazes met and I wondered absently when they had learned to hold a conversation with just their eyes. I wanted to learn how to do that. 

“That’s fine,” Kakashi said eventually, his voice flat. I couldn’t tell if he was trying to hide annoyance or excitement. I was getting good at reading his expressions, but sometimes I still couldn’t figure out his tone of voice. 

The walk through the village was silent. It was too early for even the earliest of risers to be out and about. Our footsteps seemed to echo, the sound bouncing off the suddenly too tall buildings. Sooner than expected, I found myself stood between Iruka and Kakashi, staring at the Memorial Stone. The sun was only just now peeking out over the horizon, the trees blocking most of the light from reaching us. It was eerie. I shivered against a cold that wasn’t even there. 

Kakashi placed his hands on my shoulder, guiding me closer to the memorial. “Sensei, Obito, this is Karasuno Kourubi. She’s…she’s become someone very important to me recently.” 

There were too many names carved into the stone. I couldn’t find theirs. 

Kakashi let one of his hands drop off of my shoulder so Iruka’s could take its place.

“I’m sorry you can’t really meet them,” Iruka said, his voice wavering just a little bit. “But I’m sure my mother and father would have loved you.” 

I didn’t even know their names. My eyes stared unforced at the thousands of characters carved into the stone. My throat felt tight, and I didn’t trust myself to speak. I…I couldn’t imagine not having parents. Even after trading places with Kourubi I had a family. More than that, I had a clan I could rely on if anything happened. 

My eyes suddenly focused on a name that I hadn’t previously noticed. I stepped forward, kneeling down to run my fingers over the inscription. Karasuno Washi. He had my name, but who was he? There were no dates of death on the stone. No, that would have made it too easy. And too crowded. The rock was almost full already. 

“Did you find someone, Kourubi?” Iruka asked, moving to kneel beside me.

“A clansman. Karasuno Washi,” I murmured. “I feel like I should know who that is…but I don’t.”

“He was your grandfather.”

I turned to stare at Kakashi over my shoulder. If he was surprised that I didn’t know my own grandfather, he didn’t let it show. 

“He died during the Second Shinobi war, right at the end, before even I was born. I heard stories about him when I was a genin.” 

“They don’t talk about him much.” I wracked my memories for something, anything, that tou-san or kaa-san had said about him. Very little, mostly from when Kourubi was young, so the memories were fuzzy at best. And never by name. What use was there in knowing the name of a dead man you’d never meet?

Now that I’d found my grandfather’s name, my eyes seem to catch every single Karasuno name on the stone. Some of them were old, the edges of their names rounded with time, like Koron. Takashi. Bokusochi. Tsuru. Others were newer, probably from the Third War, maybe the border skirmishes just after, like Hachidori. Hato seemed to be the most recent, towards the bottom just before the end of the list. His could only be a few months old, maybe a year or two. He hadn’t died during the invasion -- no those dead had their own stone…there had been too many names. Theirs was just outside the arena where the Third Exam took place. There was an even older rock, created just after the village was founded, under a tree just outside the Hokage’s tower. Would I find even more names there?

“There’s so many…” Who were they? Why did they die? What had been so important that they had to die for it? There were too many names; they couldn’t have all died in the Wars. 

“Kou-chan?”

My hand fell away from the smooth stone surface of the memorial. I pushed myself up from the ground, brushing off the dirt and tiny pebbles that dug into my knee. I stared at my reflection in the polished surface of the stone in front of me, daring it to give me answers.

“I never want to see another Karasuno name on this rock ever again.”

 

The Karasuno clan was flat out meticulous when it came to record keeping. We had documents dating back to the Warring Clans Era, some five generations ago. How long would that be, any way? A little over a hundred years? Maybe? And the continent had had three major wars in that time? Jeez, and I thought Before had been bad. 

The names I’d read on the stone had been burned into the back of my eyes. I ended up going to the Invasion memorial stone, to see if any of my clansmen had died that day. Somehow, we’d been spared. After that, I’d gone to the oldest stone, by the Hokage Tower. I’d found two more names there. Inko and Ahodori. I’d buried myself in the archives shortly after returning. I had to find them. It’d been fairly easy. Family records were kept chronologically, newest towards the front and oldest towards the back. I found Hato first. He’d been a career chunin, on his first mission away from the village in almost two years when he died, a courier mission. Only one of his teammates made it back. Enemy shinobi from Iwa had ambushed them, thinking they were carrying important information. They had, in a way, but not what Iwa had been hoping for, I assumed. A remote village had asked them to take copies of marriage licenses back to the capital. 

He’d been Kourubi’s uncle, when he was still alive, kaa-san’s brother. His wife was a special jonin with Logistics. He had a daughter just a few years older than I was. I could remember her, vaguely, but Kourubi’s memories when it came to family beyond her parents were still fuzzy. They grew clearer when I interacted with the family members in question, but I’d been…I didn’t want to say ‘lazy’ but honestly that’s probably the best way of putting it. I simply hadn’t wanted to deal with my extended family. Fukuro left a bad taste in my mouth for the rest of the clan. Kasasagi was nice, though, Daisuke too, and I’d liked Kakesu well enough when I formally met him. 

Her name, Hato’s daughter that is, was Kamome. A jonin. She looked pretty in the photo that was kept on file. She looked a little like kaa-san, but not in the weird ‘are you sure she’s not your daughter instead?’ sort of way Kasasagi did. She’d mastered the twin blade style of the clan kenjutsu. There was no mention of an ANBU employment in her file, but from what I could tell those were always added after the fact anyway. 

Hachidori was next, a special jonin with a tracking specialization, apparently good enough to make ANBU. She died not long after the Third War ended, going after a missing nin who ran off after being found out as an enemy informant. She also had a daughter, Kiui. She was a medic, a diagnostician. Guess she saw what happened to her mother and decided she’d rather not be in the field. But with chakra reserves and control like hers, there was no way she could stay a civilian. Village wouldn’t let her. Her father was still alive at least, a retired chunin named Kiji. Apparently he liked to brew cider and sell it on the side, if his tax records were accurate.

Koron was Hachidori’s father, my grandfather Washi’s brother. Another casualty of the Second War. His wife was still alive, amazingly enough. She had to be almost as old as the Third Hokage at this point. Same could be said about Bokusochi’s wife, Unzari. Theirs might have been the saddest story. He died before his child could be born. The baby never saw their first day. Unzari never remarried. 

Takashi was another great uncle of mine on my father’s side. He was Kakesu’s grandfather. Died between wars, killed by an infiltrator from Ame. The only reason they knew that was because of the poison that was used. They never caught the spy.

I was almost amazed Kakesu still had both his parents. His father was an active chunin. His mother had married in from the Akimichi clan. Sort explained why he was so huge. Akimichi tended to run big, in multiple ways. I wondered how distantly he was related to Chouji. He had a little sister, too: Tsugumi. She’d graduate from the Academy at the end of spring. I instantly fell in love with the freckles on her face when I saw her photo.

The oldest names, Tsuru, Inko, and Ahodori, were all related. Tsuru had been the clan head before my grandfather. Ahodori was clan head during the time of the founding of Konoha. He died just after the war between the Senju and Uchiha ended, on an escort mission to the Land of the Moon. Inko died not long after, or at least it was assumed she’d died. Konoha never found her body. Tsuru died in an ambush just as the First War was starting. She’d been guarding a group of medical ninja on their way to a border outpost. My grandfather had been young at the time. His brothers had been even younger. 

I groaned, feeling my eyes start to hurt from the strain of reading so much. I rubbed at them. It didn’t help. I sneezed loudly, kicking up even more dust to aggravate my sinuses. God, how long had I been down here? And why were the archives in the fucking basement of the clan library? Why is it always the basement?

“Kourubi-chan?”

I lowered my hands from my face to see tou-san come wandering down the stairs. “Hi.” 

He looked appraisingly at the piles of records that I’d stacked on the table around me. He picked up the closest one and flipped it open, frowning. That was Washi’s file. 

His brows were drawn together, the lines around his mouth more prominent. “Is something going on?”

I shrugged. “Kakashi and Iruka took me to the Memorial Stone this morning. I found a lot of names there. I wanted to know who they all were…why they died.”

He set the record down and sat across from me, leaning forward with relaxed posture that I knew was meant to make me feel comfortable talking about things. And damn me if it didn’t work. “What did you find?”

“That too many fucking people die,” I grumbled. I grabbed Hato’s file from the stack, waving it in my father’s face. “He died delivering marriage licenses! MARRIAGE LICENSES!” I slammed his down and picked up Hachidori’s. “She died because some asshole didn’t fucking care about people and sold secrets to Iwa!” Inko’s was next. “And I don’t even fucking know HOW she died because no one ever found the body which probably means some asshole in Kiri picked it apart! And...” I dropped the record, the noise of leather binding hitting hard wood was deafening. “And I can’t tell if any of it was fucking worth it! How many damn people died in the first war and twenty years later they send a fresh batch of young kids out to die some more. I-“

I hated it. I hated the thought of death. Scared the shit right out of me. But this…this was my life. I was expected to die for my village. But I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t be that kind of person. I wasn’t that loyal. Not to countries or authorities anyway. There was no Kage in the world that could convince me that dying was some kind of honor. I didn’t want to be a name on a stone. But things would only get worse from here. I’d survived the Invasion but what about Pein’s attack? What about the next war? The Third war ended less than fifteen years ago. If I was any older…

Heavy hands landed on my shoulders. I looked up, meeting tou-san’s eyes. There was concern there, worry; along with something so earnest it made my heart ache. “Kourubi-chan, I understand. Sometimes you see all the names on the stone and wonder if it’s worth it. But the fact that you are here today to cry over them, to wonder who they were and learn their stories, made every sacrifice worth it.” 

It was a nice sentiment, but it wasn’t what I needed to hear. And it certainly didn’t make that niggling feeling of fear go away. That fear that some day I was going to be asked to make that sacrifice…and I honestly couldn’t tell if I’d be able to. 

So instead, I just forced a smile, hoped it didn’t look to fake, and said, “Thanks, tou-san.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few...'translator' notes, I guess.
> 
> Some of you might have noticed already, but the Karasuno clan and their birds have a bit of a naming scheme going. All the clan members outside of Kourubi's immediate family are named after birds. Kasasagi from a few chapters ago is literally named 'magpie'. Kakesu is 'jaybird'. 
> 
> Their birds are named after flowers or plants that have some sort of meaning in the Language of Flowers. Like Tsutsuji means 'azalea' which in the language of flowers means 'take care of yourself for me'. Kasasagi's partner is Tanpopo, or 'dandelion' which means 'happiness'. Kakesu's partner Ninniku, who is a [ green jay](https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Green_Jay/id) is named 'garlic' which means something like courage or bravery. Don't ask me why. I have no idea.
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading this chapter. Let me know what you thought in the comments!


	24. In Which I do Something I Should Have Done Long Ago

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! This chapter comes with a warning. This chapter contains depictions of an attempted sexual assault. While I'm not sure I'd call it explicit or graphic, it is there so please be aware. Thank you, and I hope you enjoy the chapter.

Being part of the Chunin Exam team meant a lot of meetings, usually late in the morning. It was good to know that whoever was in charge of the whole thing could respect the fact that nothing good happened before nine in the morning. 

I slipped into the meeting room, finding it packed to the brim with people. I found Shikamaru leaning against the back wall, and slid into place beside him. “How have Ino and Chouji been getting along with Kakesu?”

He shrugged, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Alright, I suppose. Since he can’t perform any of the Nara jutsu, they have to rework their team strategies completely. Luckily, he’s pretty good with wire. It’s not a perfect substitute, but it works in a pinch.”

“That’s good. They’re treating him well, I assume?” I couldn’t help but be a little concerned. Kakesu seemed like a bit of a pushover. And Ino would walk all over him without even realizing it if he let her. I didn’t hold anything against her for it, but Ino could be a bit domineering. 

Another shrug. “He’s got a bad habit of letting Ino walk all over him.” And Shikamaru just read my mind. “She’s always been bossy, but usually me and Chouji will at least argue with her. Your cousin just goes along with it.”

“I’ll have a talk with him after this,” I promised. “Taking orders gracefully is all well and good, but as a chunin you need to learn how to make your own decisions.” 

Shikamaru nodded. 

“By the way,” I drawled, smirking as I saw Shikamaru tense up out of the corner of my eye. “Thanks _so_ much for volunteering me for this. I _really appreciate_ it. Especially since it was such a _surprise._ ” 

Shikamaru shrunk back a bit, laughing nervously. “Well, uh, I didn’t exactly know how you felt about the whole thing until after the fact.”

I smiled sweetly at him, the way kaa-san did before she tore into someone. “Well, Shikamaru, you’re at the age where you really should learn to ask someone if they want to do something before making them do it. You’re lucky that this is the situation you’re learning that lesson in, and not in a more…intimate setting. That could be disastrous for everyone involved.” 

The way he paled told me that he got my meaning, so I let it go. The meeting was just about to start, anyway, so it wasn’t like I had much time to drive it home any more than I already had. Iruka stepped to the front of the room. My head tilted of its own accord. This was pretty surprising; Iruka didn’t seem like the type of person to take charge of this sort of thing. I wondered what type of test he came up with.

“Good morning, everyone,” he greeted cheerfully. “Thank you for coming. You’ll forgive me if I have to make this quick, I have a class to teach this afternoon.” 

A wave of chuckles passed over the group. 

“It has been decided that the first exam will take place entirely in Konoha,” Iruka informed us, reading from a clipboard he had in his hand. “The second exam will take place in both our territory and Suna’s. The third exam will take place entirely in Suna. I’m sure we all know what happens during the third exam. So honestly, they got the easy part.”

Another, louder wave of laughter. 

Iruka waited for everyone to settle down before continuing. “Our first exam, as developed by myself and the Interrogation unit, will be comprised of a series of tests and riddles. Genin teams will be place in separate rooms and told to earn a combined score of one hundred points to pass. At the end of the examination period, they will be told to unanimously pick one member of their team to disqualify in order for the other two to move on.”

I stiffened at that. This would be a hard choice for any normal genin team that worked together all the time…but I doubted that Ino and Chouji would get so attached to Kakesu in such a short amount of time. If this test didn’t end like the one before, then my cousin was going to get screwed.

Despite the distance, Iruka’s eyes met mine for just a second before he spoke again. “The correct choice, of course, would be to demand that all three teammates make it through to the next round. Or, alternatively, that if they can’t all make it, then none of them should make it. Those who do not earn one hundred points before the final question will be disqualified. The majority of you will be there to escort…unruly failures out of the rooms. And to apply needed pressure. I’ll need you all to put on your grumpy faces for this one.”

I snorted loudly at the bad joke. Beside me, Shikamaru shook his head, a small, fond smile on his face. 

“What about the second part, Umino?” I heard Raido call from some other part of the room.

“Second exam will be a foot race from Konoha to Suna,” Iruka explained, flipping over a page on his clipboard. “Participants will be given seven days to travel from Konoha to Suna, where they will hand over some item that we will give them at the beginning of the exam. Those who do not make it in that time frame or lose their item will be disqualified.”

A mock courier mission, then. Likelihood would be that we’d be combing the desert for disqualified teams at certain points through the week. Ugh, that would probably be the worst part of the gig. That…and trying to keep interlopers out of the exam. The second exam from my run through had been more secure because it took place in a more contained environment. Unless we set up boundaries that the genin couldn’t cross over, we’d be looking at potentially kilometers and kilometers of land to patrol.

“Iruka?” I called, raising my hand to catch his attention. I waited until he nodded at me to continue. “Would we set up a boundary? You know, give the genin a certain amount of space they had to remain in during the race in order to remain qualified? That’s an awful lot of land we’re giving them to run amok in otherwise. I’m worried we’d lose people in the forests or the desert.”

“It’s a good idea,” someone, I thought it was Izumo, agreed. “Civilian races always have a specific path laid out, and those who leave that path are taken out of the race. We could have the same set up here, give them a track a few kilometers across so they’re not bunched all together, but if they move outside that range, they’re disqualified.” 

Iruka pulled out a pencil and wrote something down on his notes. “I’ll send the suggestion along, see what they think. How wide would we make the track?”

“I wouldn’t make it any larger than five kilometers,” Shikamaru suggested. “That’s how wide the circumference of the forty-fourth training ground was and that gave everyone plenty of room to maneuver but also kept everyone close enough together that no one went the entire exam without running into another team.” 

Iruka wrote some more, nodding with a grin on his face. “Alright, I’ll send the suggestion to our friends in Suna and see what they think. Until then, anyone who’s not working directly on the first exam can go on home. Thanks for showing up everyone!” 

 

Sasuke greeted me at the door when I got home, the light sheen of sweat on his forehead giving away that he’d been training while I was gone. 

“Before you ask,” I said, bending down to remove my shoes, “No, I’m not telling you anything about the exam. That would be cheating.”

Sasuke crossed his arms with an amused smirk. “Then what good are you?” 

I jabbed in the side with my finger. The squeak I got for it was priceless. “I’m good for a lot of things. Cheating your way through the exam is not one of them.”

He scooted out of my range, glaring suspiciously at me. “Can’t you tell me anything?”

“Half of it’s gonna be here, half of it’s gonna be there.”

I seriously loved it when Sasuke pouted. It made him look way cuter than he should. “You’re no help.”

I grinned at him. “I’m your big sister, I’m not supposed to help.” 

Sasuke rolled his eyes, as you would expect a moody teenager to. His expression quickly turned sour, however, as if remembering something unpleasant.

“Fukuro came by looking for you,” he told me, the patented Uchiha scowl in place.

Odd, I thought kaa-san had scared him off for good. Then again, she wasn’t around today. If I remembered right, she was filling gaps in at the academy for Iruka. I sighed, the sound turning into a growl at the end. “Did he say what he wanted?”

Sasuke shook his head, looking…almost concerned. “But he was acting…erratic. I’d be on the look out, nee-san. He was bad enough when he was acting rationally. I’d hate to see what he’d try when he’s not in the right mind.” 

I shuddered at the thought. I hoped Makoto was okay. “You and me both, baby brother.” 

 

There was someone in my room. It couldn’t be Kakashi or Iruka; for one thing, their presence wouldn’t have woken me so easily. Secondly, neither of them had come over tonight. Iruka was busy with the chunin exams and his own students. Kakashi was preparing for his recertification as a tracker (I hadn’t realized you had to be certified as a tracker but eh). I doubted it was Sasuke. No, I could feel his chakra across the hall. Hell, the fact that I knew there was someone in my room at all meant it either was a shitty ninja, or not a ninja at all. I could feel the breeze from the open balcony door. I kept up the pretense of being asleep. I needed to know what they wanted. 

My eyes flew open, however, when I felt their weight on the bed. They didn’t see it; thankfully I’d been on my side facing the opposite way. The chakra I felt was weak, definitely civilian grade, but it felt familiar against mine – erratic, acrid in the same way burnt plastic smelled. Who…?

A hand landed on my shoulder, tugging to turn me onto my back. I tensed, turning with the demanding touch, my fist swinging as I moved to sucker punch whoever it was in the face. The person’s free hand caught mine, and I saw their face, illuminated by the moonlight and the faint glow of streetlamps outside.

Fukuro.

“What the fu-!” The hand that had turned me over slapped over my mouth, muffling my shout. 

“Shhhhh, Kourubi-chan,” Fukuro whispered, a disturbingly smug smirk on his lips. “Don’t want us to be interrupted, do you?”

I glared at him. What did this little bastard think he was doing? My breath caught in my throat as his leg swung over my hips, letting him straddle my thighs. Oh, HELL NO! I swung at him with my other fist, only barely missing his jaw as he leaned back. In one smooth movement that had to be attributed to some form of training, he caught my free hand along with the fist he’d been holding on to. He slid his large hand to my wrists and pushed them down against the pillows. Fuck. Trained as I was, Fukuro was considerably larger than I was, and I was in a bad position to begin with. The bed was soft, hard to get good footing on even if Fukuro wasn’t sitting on my thighs. 

“I was lucky tonight,” Fukuro said, keeping his voice low. “Those disgusting interlopers aren’t here. But don’t worry, Kourubi-chan, once I’m done they won’t want to bother us anymore.”

Sasuke was right; Fukuro had definitely gone off the deep end. I had no idea what kind of lala land he was stuck in, but I knew my boys better than that. Besides, wasn’t like I was going to let him get that far. Just had to wait for the right moment…

He lifted his hand off my mouth. I made to shout again, hoping to wake Sasuke or my parents, only for the hand to be replaced with a handkerchief. Damnit! Bastard came prepared. At least I’d bothered putting on proper pajamas tonight; the button-down shirt would stall him until I could think of a decent plan. 

“You know, this really is your fault,” he continued. “If you hadn’t been so set on running from destiny, I wouldn’t have to claim you in such a manner. But…if this is the only way to show you who you belong to…then I guess I have no choice. And once I do, those dirty outsiders won’t be able to lay their hands on you again.”

As he spoke, he unbuttoned my shirt slowly, exposing my neck and shoulders. He tugged the soft fabric aside, exposing a small hickey that Iruka had left a few days ago. It hadn’t been very prominent in the first place, and had mostly faded by now, but with the moonlight washing out my skin, even the pale green-yellow color stood out. Fukuro’s eyes locked onto it, his hands tightening around my wrists. 

“How _dare_ they!” he seethed. “How _dare_ they try and claim you in such a manner! Don’t they know you’re mine? Don’t worry, Kourubi-chan, I’ll make sure they pay for it. But for now…we’ll just have to cover this up.”

He leaned down and pain shot through my shoulder and neck as he sunk his teeth into the flesh right next to the hickey, nearly breaking the skin. That was it! I flared my chakra, so loud and so bright that half the village probably felt it. I could sense Sasuke and my parents stirring outside my room. Perfect.

Fukuro, being a civilian, had no idea what I’d just done. As he pulled away, that fucking smirk on his face, I surged forward, my forehead connecting painfully with his nose. I’d probably have a bruise from it later, but it hurt him far more than it hurt me.

He howled in pain, his hands flying up to cup his bleeding nose, freeing me from his bruising grip. I flew into a sitting position. My hand tangled in his hair, gripping it so tight it had to be painful, and shoved him to the side. Now that my legs were free, it was my turn to straddle him, pinning him to my bed. I felt a sudden surge of chakra in the direction of my balcony at the same time my door flew open.

Panting heavily, I finally pulled the gag from my mouth. My neck still throbbed from where Fukuro had bit me, but a quick check assured me that I wasn’t bleeding. I glanced towards my door, finding Sasuke and my parents standing there, jaws slack and eyes wide in surprise. Kaa-san looked deathly pale. My gaze swept towards my balcony, finding not just Kakashi and Iruka like I’d expected, but Noboru-sensei, Mai, Ryou, and even Genma and Gai. They looked a little packed in, considering. 

I turned back to my parents. “Tou-san…please wake everyone up and have them come here. We…we all need to have a long talk about what happened.” 

Tou-san nodded stiffly, his eyes boring into Fukuro’s form as he struggled underneath me. He turned away, tugging gently on kaa-san’s arm. She followed him, seeming only half aware what was going on. I heard them whispering to each other as they moved down the hall. 

“Gai-sensei…Genma-san…hold him please.” 

The two rushed forward, awkwardly squeezing through the door. Mai came with them, her gentle hands pulling me away from my bed. I could hear her voice saying something that I could only assume was meant to be soothing, but my brain wasn’t properly processing the words. Ryou was by my side mere seconds later, his hands glowing healing green. I lifted a hand to stop him.

“Not yet,” I said, my voice sounding weird to my own ears. “Not ‘til everyone else sees what he’s done.” 

He nodded, his face so pale he looked nearly dead. His hands trembled. Everyone could only assume what had happened, but my disheveled clothes and bruised wrists spoke volumes. 

“I hope you didn’t leave Umeko all by herself,” I said, trying to sound playful, normal. 

“C-Cheesecake and Hamburger are looking out for her,” he replied. “I’ll…I’ll go back and get her when things are okay.”

“I’m fine.” I didn’t sound fine. I sounded…robotic. Like my body had reverted back to factory settings after a forced reboot. “Go get your daughter. You shouldn’t leave her alone for too long, even if you have super intelligent cats in the house.” 

There was a pounding on the door, along with the sound of several voices shouting, asking it I was alright. I looked to Noboru-sensei, who was moving before I could ask anything of him. Mai moved me out of the bedroom and into the hallway, sitting me on the stairs, one arm wrapped tightly around my shoulders. Iruka came out of the room soon after, moving to drape a blanket around me. 

“Who is it?” I called down to Noboru when he opened the door, allowing the voices to come pouring in louder than before.

“Everyone,” he replied with a wry smile. 

Kakashi appeared with a puff of pale grey smoke before me on the stairs. “Should I tell them to go away?” 

I thought for a long moment. I…was grateful that they were so concerned to come running in the middle of the night. I wanted to see them…just not right now.

“Tell them…tell them to wait in the garden. They’ll learn what happened with the rest of the clan, if they want to stay.” 

‘Everyone’ turned out to be Sakura, Lee, and shy, sweet Hinata with Neji in tow. I pulled my pajama top tighter around me so they couldn’t see the damage as they wandered by the stairs towards the garden. 

I turned over my shoulder. “Sasuke? Go down to the archives…pull Fukuro’s record for me.” 

 

It felt like hours before everyone was gathered in the audience room and garden. It was still dark out, far too early in the morning, but I felt like someone had replaced my blood with caffeine. I never felt so awake, so focused on a singular thing: making sure Fukuro paid. 

He was laid out in the middle of the room for everyone to see, strung up with some ninja wire Genma happened to have on him. Stupid, crazy prepared special jonin. Fukuro had stopped struggling long ago; instead deciding that glowering at everyone was a better use of his time. I refused to shrink back when he turned his eyes to me, meeting his gaze steadily. He couldn’t hide the way he flinched at the killing intent that leaked into the air from Kakashi and Iruka, who hadn’t left my side since the clan had started filing in. 

Mai and Ryou stood with the genin, protecting them as much as they could from Fukuro’s wrathful eyes. Ryou held a sleeping Umeko close, refusing to let Fukuro see her face. The jonin stood in the open doorway between the audience room and the garden, blocking off any chance Fukuro had of escape. 

The heavy silence was broken, finally, by one of the council members. “What is all this, Isamu-san?” 

Tou-san turned his head in my direction. “I think that’s for Kourubi-chan to tell you.” 

The councilman, Isoshigi, Fukuro’s father, eyed me like I was trying to sell him some cockamamie snake oil cure for baldness. “Well, Kourubi-hime?”

The honorific, unlike when Kakesu said it, was used mockingly. I was starting to figure out how Fukuro had gotten to be how he was. I steeled myself, and spoke.

“This morning, while I was sleeping, Fukuro came into my room and assaulted me.”

Gasps and whispers floated around the room. Pity and disbelief could be heard in equal measure in the voices. Isoshigi turned red at the announcement. The woman who sat just behind him, who I assumed was his wife, flinched. 

“Apparently, despite my telling him for many years that it wasn’t going to happen, Fukuro still thinks that he and I are destined to be married.” I saw Neji flinch out of the corner of my eye at the mention of destiny. “And in order to prove that to me, he decided to, as he put it, ‘claim me’ before Kakashi and Iruka could.”

“Do we have proof of this?” Isoshigi snipped. 

I help up my wrists for them to see, the bruises a dark purple-blue by this point. “Do fresh bruises count? If not, I can always show you where he bit me.”

Kasasagi gasped. “He bit you!?”

I tugged my pajama collar open just enough to reveal the ring of angry red teeth marks. More whispers and gasps, less disbelief and more anger. Good. 

Tou-san’s eyes settled on Fukuro. “What do you have to say for yourself, not that anything you could say could convince us of your innocence at this point.” 

Fukuro snarled. “I was trying to save her! Their dirty hands would only corrupt her! They’re not worthy of her!”

I couldn’t stop the snort that left me. “Really now? Iruka is the most respected academy instructor in the village and Kakashi is quite possibly our most powerful shinobi other than the Hokage herself. I really don’t see how someone who was ejected from the academy like you were is more worthy than they are.”

“Ejected from the academy?” Ryou echoed. 

Fukuro stiffened, his face going red in shame.

“Yes, for poor grades and an even worse attitude,” I stated, pulling the record Sasuke had gotten for me out from behind me. “Apparently even in things that most non-clan, civilian born shinobi could learn with ease he struggled. And when he couldn’t keep up, he lashed out. Usually against his female classmates.” 

“You told me you left because you needed to help with the bookshop after your mother got sick!” Kamome hissed angrily. “I felt sorry for you because I thought you had to give up your dream!” This was my first time seeing her in person. She cut an imposing figure next to the old men that populated the clan council. Her eyes were cold; the glare she leveled on Fukuro was blistering. I liked her. 

“He lied to you,” I said plainly, setting the record aside. “He also lied to you when he said he cared about me. Obviously he doesn’t, otherwise we wouldn’t be having this meeting.”

A heavy silence fell over the clan. Just beyond the engawa, Umeko made a soft noise in her sleep. 

“Well,” I murmured, “I think we can all agree that something must be done, lest something like this happens again.” I stood, slipping a kunai out of Kakashi’s holster and hiding it up my sleeve. Kakashi shifted a little, but said nothing. I inhaled deeply, trying to calm the thundering drum that was my heart. Fukuro stared up at me, his expression almost pitiful. He looked close to begging; for what, I wasn’t sure. 

“Hold him,” I ordered. Fukuro’s eyes widened and he shouted wordlessly, struggling against the wires. Gai and Genma shot forward, bending his body towards the floor. Their combined weight kept him from thrashing about too much. I strode around, the kunai in my sleeve slipping into my hand with a subtle flicker of light. I heard kaa-san’s sharp intake of breath, not quite a gasp but close enough. 

My free hand shot forward, my fingers tangling in Fukuro’s long, gorgeous, silky hair. I gathered as much as I could into my hand, aided by the loose ponytail he kept it in (something of a traditional style for young men in the clan). I tugged harshly, pulling at his scalp and making him cry out in pain. 

“Fukuro, dear cousin of mine,” I cooed, “As punishment, not only for your actions tonight but for your behavior towards me for the past several years, for the pain you’ve caused me and the disrespect you have shown not only to me but to my significant others, you will be-“

I tugged the kunai through that thick, gorgeous hair of his in one sharp, jerking motion. His feathers, such pretty blue feathers, fell to the floor.

“Banished from the clan, stripped of your name and any material holdings you have. You will never be allowed on clan owned land again. You will never be allowed to call yourself a Karasuno again. You will _never **touch me again.**_ Any and all funds within the clan banking system will be turned over to the village as a generous donation in our name. I think I like the idea of it going to the orphans of the village. There are too many without decent homes or people to take care of them. Such a tragic oversight. Also…Isoshigi?” 

The old man flinched when my eyes fell on him. He looked like he wanted to protest the lack of honorific, but now really wasn’t the time.

“Your accounts will also be heavily monitored. If our lovely accountants see anything even remotely suspicious, they are to instigate a full investigation into your spending.” I smiled, sickeningly sweet. “We wouldn’t want you to get in trouble for aiding a traitor to the clan, now would we?”

“Traitor?!” he shouted. He reigned in the volume with a short cough. “Kourubi-hime, I wouldn’t call my son a traitor.”

“What else would you call him?” I snapped, gesturing wildly. “He attacked the head of the clan! Would you rather I call him an attempted rapist? A molester? He is all those things and more, Isoshigi. But he is not, starting from now, a Karasuno.”

I whirled about, my eyes landing on Iruka. “Iruka.”

Iruka blinked up at me. He looked…so angry. Angry at Fukuro. Angry at himself. “Yes?”

I thrust the handful of hair out towards him. “Do you need a genetic sample in order to create a person-specific barrier?”

He blinked again, the anger melting away. He smiled, almost smirked, and stood. “No, but the residual chakra in the hair will be more than enough.”

“Good. Sasuke.” He looked to me, waiting. “When Iruka is done, I want you to take the hair and burn it. Then, take whatever ashes remain and scatter them outside the compound gate.” 

Sasuke nodded stiffly and followed after Iruka. I took a deep, shuddering breath to compose myself before I turned once more to Fukuro and the rest of the clan. “You have until first light to gather your things, only as much as you can carry, and get the fuck out of my compound. But these…” I stepped forward and snatched his feathers off the floor. “…These do not go with you.” 

Genma cut the wire and Fukuro collapsed forward. His eyes stared unseeing at the tatami mats, tears streaming down his face. He made no sound, save for the occasional, near silent hiccup. For a long moment, no one moved. Then, tou-san stood, his hands clenched to tightly into fists his knuckles turned white.

“Someone get him out of my house.” 

The councilmen jumped to obey him…because of course it took my father saying something for them to move. Tension melted from my shoulders as Fukuro was dragged away and the rest of the clan filtered out after him. Kasasagi, Daisuke, and Kakesu’s family lingered for a few minutes more. Even Kamome seemed reluctant to leave the house so soon. She hovered on the edge of the garden until kaa-san spoke with her in soft tones. She shot me one last, regret filled look before leaving. Kasasagi hugged me tight, wrapping me in as much comfort as she could. Daisuke hovered just out of reach, unsure if I wanted a male presence…if I would be okay with a man’s touch right now. I hugged him too, and his big, shaking hands pressed hard against my back. Kakesu held little Tsugumi’s hand as his mother, Chouko, petted my hair and promised that if I needed anything, they were there for me. 

Sakura hugged me fiercely. I could feel her tremble and the tears that soaked my pajamas. Lee embraced us both, his hug nearly bone crushing. Hinata was gentle when she joined in, though she too was shaking. Neji stood back, hesitating, until I pulled him into the hug as well. I needed this, all my ducklings. But they weren’t all here, couldn’t all be here, so I’d take what I could get. 

A hug from Mai. From Noboru-sensei and Gai. From Ryou with the chilly feeling of healing chakra. A one-armed side hug from Genma, who was holding Umeko. And then they left. I could smell the burning hair. It was almost over. 

Sasuke returned, looking tired. I sent him off to bed. First light came and went and I felt a sudden thrum of chakra. The barrier was up. Iruka returned. 

And I collapsed, crying and laughing in equal, hysterical measure. I didn’t even know why! I’d been bruised and bitten, but I’d been no more injured that I would be from a normal spar. I was fine. He hadn’t…he hadn’t…

But he would have. If I were anyone else…he would have.

Strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me off the tatami mats and onto a lap. A hand tangled in my hair, rubbing soothing circles into my scalp, another pressed against my hip, keeping me in place as I was rocked like a child. Two more hands grasped mine and pulled them from my face. Kakashi and Iruka’s voices filled my ears, whispering about how brave I had been, how strong. How they were sorry it had happened. How they should have been there. How they’d be there from now on. 

I cried myself to sleep. Slept the entire day away. They were there when I woke, Kakashi reading his silly erotic novels and Iruka grading some assignment. My stomach growled, catching their attention.

“Sounds like you need something to eat,” Iruka murmured, brushing my messy, tangled hair out of my face. “Anything in particular?” 

Something not in the house. I…I needed out. “Ichiraku.” 

He nodded. “I can bring it back, if you want.”

I shook my head, my cheek brushing against the soft but somehow distressingly scratchy fabric of my pillow. “I…I want to leave. I don’t want to be here right now.” 

A sad smile and a small nod. “Okay.” 

I showered and dressed like my body was on autopilot. The bruises on my wrist were gone. And when I looked in the mirror, I could see the bite was gone too. Even still, my neck ached. I pulled my hair over my shoulder to cover the spot. 

Sasuke was sitting on the stairway when we left my room. His hands clenched and relaxed in a steady rhythm, like squeezing a stessball. If ninjas had stressballs. …Ninjas probably needed stressballs. 

“I wouldn’t go out the front gate,” he warned, his voice dripping with venom. “He’s been out there all day, begging to be let back in.” 

Iruka and Kakashi exchanged a look over my head. 

“There’s a side gate we can use,” I said. “It’ll be a farther walk…”

They wouldn’t have argued today even if they wanted to. I almost wished they had. Going through the side gate meant walking through the compound. It meant people seeing me, staring at me. They looked at me like I was cracked, a single tap from falling apart. They looked at me with pity, and that stung almost as much as the phantom pains from the bite. 

“If you have time to stare at me,” I snipped, “then you probably have time to go tell Fukuro to stop loitering in front of the compound.” 

And away they went, scattering like cats from a vacuum. I doubted anyone would actually go tell Fukuro to go away, but at least they weren’t staring anymore. Sympathy was one thing, but pitying me would only help themselves feel better about not doing anything to prevent what happened.

No, getting angry at them wouldn’t do any good; I knew that. But knowing that didn’t stop the feeling from clawing at my gut. 

We exited through the side gate, ducking through back alleys for a long while to get as far away from the front gate as possible before stepping out onto the main street. This was better. No one here knew what happened. No one here was going to stare at me. Good. I could handle this. 

Teuchi was boisterous and friendly as usual. The ramen burned my mouth a little, but warmed me all the way down, chasing away the coldness that had been plaguing me since the clan meeting. I laughed easily at the story he told about the time when his daughter was little and tried to make a real bowl of ramen all on her own, and what a disaster it had been. 

I bumped into Shino as I stepped out from under the stall’s banner. He eyed me curiously as I apologized. When he spoke, it wasn’t to acknowledge what I said.

“You are…distraught.” 

I flinched back from him. Could he tell? How could he tell? 

“Does it have something to do with the chakra flare you sent up last night?” he asked, his voice as monotone as ever. It was…calming in a way. 

I swallowed thickly and nodded. 

“You do not want to talk about it.”

“Not really,” I agreed. 

He stared at me from behind those dark glasses of his, analyzing me. “What ever happened, the fact you are here means you survived it, and are all the more admirable for that.”

That…almost sounded poetic. 

“Thanks, Snuggle bug.” I smiled at him, my smile growing wider at the hint of pink that colored the tips of his ears. “Hey…I could use a hug. Mind giving me one?”

He hesitated a moment, understandably. I didn’t think the Aburame did much touching outside of their clan. And that probably wasn’t entirely their choice. Not a whole lot of people were cool with bugs. I wasn’t. But I had to remind myself that, despite not seeing him as often as the others, it would be unfair to him to say he wasn’t allowed to be my duckling too. 

Eventually, just as Kakashi and Iruka were stepping out of Ichiraku, Shino let me wrap my arms around his shoulders. Oh, my ducklings were getting so tall. His arms wrapped loosely around me, as if unsure how one hugged a person. He smelled like honey, and I wondered if the Aburame kept apiaries. 

“Tell Princess and the pup that I’ll be okay, will you?” I requested. “Not right now, but eventually.”

He nodded, moving away. I gave his shoulder one last squeeze. 

“Thanks, kiddo.”

 

“Why didn’t you kill him?”

I turned over in bed to face Kakashi. Despite only being up for maybe three hours, I was back in bed the moment we returned home. I wasn’t tired, but I didn’t really want to do anything else. 

“Did you expect me to?”

“I wasn’t sure what you were going to do,” he admitted, his expression turning thoughtful. “But then you took that kunai off of me.”

“I…was tempted to, I think,” I murmured, rolling onto my back to stare at the ceiling. “But…then I remembered Hanako. I wanted…I want to be the kind of leader she is. Besides, if he’s dead, he can’t suffer. It’s not much of a punishment if I’m the one who ends up suffering. And if I had killed him I’m sure I would have. The clan probably wouldn’t trust me, you know? And Isoshigi would never let me live it down. I doubt he’ll let me live this down. Ugh, I need to build a new council soon.”

Blankets were pulled up higher on my chest and an arm wrapped around my waist. I turned my head to see Iruka settling down beside me.

“You can worry about that another day. Rest now, we’ve got a meeting tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright everyone, next chapter I promise won't be so heavy. Until then, please let me know what you think the comments below. Thank you all for reading!


	25. In Which I Meet Someone New

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I'm back again. For those of you interested, I've been posting some information about the Karasuno clan on the MFAW tumblr. You can find it under the [ Karasuno clan tag.](http://melodyfromanotherworld.tumblr.com/tagged/karasuno-clan) Anyway, I hope you all enjoy and for those who celebrate it: Happy Valentine's Day!

I kept myself busy the next few weeks. It wasn’t terribly hard to do with the meetings for the Chunin Exam, kaa-san starting my formal training on the Karasuno clan twin blade style kenjutsu, and Kakashi and Iruka officially moving in. Those last two things surprised me when they happened. I remembered, vaguely, that the two of them had said something about ‘being there from now on’ after the … thing that happened with Fukuro. But I hadn’t thought much of it until Kakashi’s things just started appearing in the house. His books showed up on my shelf. I found his clothes folded up neatly in my drawers. His shampoo fell out of the cabinet at me one morning. And eventually, Kakashi sort of just…stopped leaving. 

Iruka was more straightforward, thankfully. He showed up just outside the clan compound with a suitcase, a few boxes, and a sheepish smile on his face. The fact that Fukuro hadn’t given up on loitering outside the compound and was there to witness it was just the icing on the cake. 

“He’s gotten himself a job, you know,” Kamome informed me. “At some little teahouse as a waiter.”

Kaa-san had enlisted Kamome’s help in teaching me the twin blade kenjutsu. She’d mastered it around my age and, as far as I knew, used it far more often than kaa-san did (the ANBU tattoo I caught a glimpse of in the bath confirmed that she used it more often than any of us did). Her personality seemed to flicker back and forth between a slightly milder version of a typical drill sergeant and a water cooler gossiper during these sessions. Feeding me little bits of information about the things the clan was whispering about between shouts of ‘AGAIN!’ and physically moving my body until it was in the right position. 

“Well, it’s a good thing I don’t tend to frequent teahouses then,” I muttered, stabbing at an invisible enemy’s throat with a wooden tanto. “I assume Isoshigi has been visiting it often?”

I saw Kamome nod form out of the corner of my eye. 

“Have someone check in with accounting to make sure he’s not pulling out money to give to Fukuro,” I ordered. “Too many small withdrawals around the times he’s been spotted going to the teahouse is grounds for an investigation. I’d rather not have to freeze his accounts, but I will give the order if I have to. Fukuro is no longer a member of our clan, clan money should not go to him, even if it’s from a personal account.” I paused for a moment to think. “And have him followed the next time he visits. If he is giving Fukuro money, I want proof.” 

“I’ll get someone on it, hime.” Kamome called me that too. ‘Princess.’ I supposed I was as close to a princess as Konoha got. Same with Hinata or Ino, with all of us being heirs to powerful shinobi clans. But I certainly didn’t feel like a princess. I wasn’t like Hanako. Probably never would be. 

A brown shape caught my attention as it entered the yard. I stopped my training and turned to get a better look at it. When I realized just who had wandered into my yard, I gave a happy gasp.

“Puppy!” 

Bull’s head snapped in my direction.

Nice bonus of Kakashi moving in? His dogs came with him. I’d seen them often just wandering about the compound, basking in the scritches that members of the clan were happy to give them. I’d even seen a few people leaving out food bowls for them. 

“Puppy!” I said again in the same breathy, high voice that people used with animals and babies. Bull smiled a doggy smile and trundled over. “Hi puppy! Oh, who’s a big sweet boy? You’re my big sweet boy!” 

He didn’t quite stop in time, effectively knocking me to the ground. Bull was a giant, even for ninja dogs. His head was as big as Pakkun was in his entirety. And he was heavy to boot, which made the fact he was sprawled on top of me a little uncomfortable, but that didn’t stop me from laughing and rubbing my hands all over his furry head. 

Kamome sighed in an exaggerated manner. “Well, I guess we’re done training today. I’ll never get you to focus after this.”

“Who’d ever want to train when there are puppies to pet?” I asked Bull playfully. Bull, as far as I could tell, was the only one of Kakashi’s dogs who couldn’t speak. So instead, he just wuffed happily. 

“Be careful, you’ll make the birds jealous,” Kamome warned, though her tone was more teasing than anything. 

“I’m sure the novelty of having the dogs around will wear off sooner or later.”

I looked up from Bull to see Mai sitting on top of the garden wall. She waved lazily at me. “Yo.”

“Hey, long time no see. What’s up? If you’re looking for Sasuke and the others, they’re not here.”

She shook her head, hopping down from the wall. “Nah, I just got out of a training session with them anyway. Was wondering if you wanted to come hang out. If you can get out from under that living mountain of dog, that is.”

I grinned up at her. Patting Bull’s side, I gently pushed him off me. “Alright, puppup, I gotta go. Maybe if you ask nicely, Kamome will give you scritches.” 

Bull’s big head swung in Kamome’s direction, eyeing her for a moment before climbing off me and meandering over in her direction. He plopped his head in her lap, staring at her expectantly. Kamome’s hands hovered hesitantly in the air for a brief moment. Then, after apparently deciding that having Bull in her lap wasn’t as bad as she thought, she started smoothing her hands over his short fur. 

“Good, now that that’s taken care of…” I stood from the ground and dusted myself off, my eyes on Mai. “Where are we going?”

 

“So the only reason I know about this place is because Gai’s team likes hanging out here after training,” Mai explained as we walked through the village. “They’ll be showing up too, hope you don’t mind. Sasuke and Sakura should be there already holding a table for us. I’m usually not big on teahouses or whatever, but this place is pretty nice and it won’t break the bank.”

It was small little thing, connected to what I could only assume was the owners house by a fenced in garden. There were only ten or so tables in the establishment, and Sasuke and Sakura had pushed two together for our group. 

“We tried to get the corner booth like you wanted, senpai,” Sakura said as we approached. “But someone was already there.”

I glanced over to the back corner of the room. I understood why someone, especially a shinobi, would want to sit back there. If you sat in the right spot, you’d have an uninterrupted view of the entire dining space. So it was no surprise that the booth was occupied by three shinobi that I recognized.

“Oh, I know them,” I said.

“You do?” Mai asked, eyeing the back booth curiously.

“Yep. The brunette is Raido; I went of a patrol mission with him last year. And then there’s Aoba, he’s part of the Intelligence Division. He’s also part of the Chunin Exams committee. And you all should recognize Hayate.” I waved, hoping to catch their attention. Raido nodded at me in acknowledgement. Aoba, who hadn’t seen me yet, leaned heavily against him to figure out who he was nodding at. When he saw me he waved far more enthusiastically than I’d expected. Hayate, who’d been facing away from the rest of the room, turned to look over his shoulder. He smiled at me, and I gave one more little wave. 

Mai stared at them appraisingly. Turning to me, she asked, “When did you get so many new friends?”

I shrugged. I wouldn’t really call them ‘friends’ really. They were work buddies. Or nuisances, if you wanted to talk about Izumo and Kotetsu. “Perks of being a chunin, I suppose.”

Mai rolled her eyes. “Anyway, I brought you here because I wanted to ask your opinion on something.”

“Oh?”

Mai pointed towards another occupied table. “You see that server other there, the kid with the wavy-curly blue hair?” 

I leaned around Mai to see the person she was talking about. Standing at then end of the table with a tray in hand was a rather small teenager (I assumed they were a teenager, at least) with pale blue hair that was almost as curly as Mai’s dressed in a minty green yukata. 

“What about them?” I asked.

“Well, their name is Yu,” Mai explained. “And they kind of have a thing for Lee.”

Huh. That was a new one. It wasn’t unusual for civilians to develop crushes on the Konoha Twelve in the original story…but the only time it ever happened for Lee was in his comedy spin off show. No, usually it was Sasuke or Naruto or Neji people fell for. 

“I could understand that,” I ended up saying. “There’s something kind of charming about him. Like a fairytale prince or something.”

Sasuke groaned. “You’re not going to make that his nickname are you?”

I smirked at him. “Well I wasn’t going to, but then you said something and now I have to.” 

“I hate you.”

“Love you too, baby brother,” I teased. I then turned my attention back to Mai. “So what did you need my opinion on?”

“Well, I’m pretty damn sure Lee’s got a thing for them too.” Mai went on. “And I think they’d be freaking cute. But uh, I’m not exactly a match maker.”

“And you think I am?” I asked, barely holding back a laugh. 

“Well, no, not really,” Mai admitted with a shrug. “But I figured that if you thought they’d be cute, then maybe you’d help me convince Lee to ask them out.” 

“Honestly, I think Lee should be allowed to do that on his own, when he’s ready,” I admitted. “Plus he’s only fourteen, he doesn’t really need to be dating anyone.”

“Please, Kourubi-senpai,” Sakura pleaded. “Yu-san’s the only one in the village who’s ever shown any interest in Lee. I don’t want him to miss out. Yu-san’s so cute that they’re sure to be snatched up if Lee waits too long.” 

“Sakura, he tried to ask you out mere minutes after meeting you,” I reminded her. “I don’t think he’ll wait too long.”

“Don’t think who will wait too long?”

I shifted in my chair as Tenten, Neji, and Lee entered the teahouse. Tenten looked expectant, waiting for her question to be answered.

“Nothing you need to worry about,” I replied. Tenten looked a bit put out at that, obviously having wanted in on whatever gossip she thought we’d been talking about. 

“How did you guys come across this place?” I asked to change the subject. The teahouse was a small, out of the way place and most people wouldn’t find it unless they were specifically looking for it.

“Gai-sensei has been coming here since he was a genin, apparently,” Neji answered. “He started bringing us here as reward for completing a mission.” 

As soon as the three were seated, Yu rushed over with a small pad of paper and a smile on their face. “Hello, everyone. It’s nice to see you again. You’ve brought another new friend this time.”

“Yu-san, this is Kourubi-senpai, Mai-senpai’s teammate,” Lee introduced, waving a hand in my direction. 

“Lee-kun has mentioned you before,” Yu informed me. “Only nice things, I promise.”

Somehow I wasn’t surprised. “I doubt Lee would say anything else. He doesn’t have a mean bone in his body.”

Another smile and Yu addressed the whole table. “Shall I bring out a pot of the usual?”

“Yes,” Neji agreed. “And some of your sakura mochi as well.”

Yu gave a little nod before scurrying off to the back. We slipped into amicable conversation after that. No one brought up what happened with Fukuro, which I was thankful for. Instead, they mostly talked about their preparations for the upcoming chunin exams, which were only a few weeks away by this point. Tenten tried to charm me into giving away what I knew about the tests, but Sasuke was quick to inform her that my lips were sealed. 

The tea Yu brought for us was pretty nice, though I did sneak several lumps of sugar into the cup when no one was looking. It wasn’t my fault that most tea just tasted like hot water to me. Sugar and milk are a must. Especially for black tea. Or you could put lemonade in it. Give me an Arnold Palmer and I’d be a happy girl. But I’d be happiest with a chai latte…cause I’m basic I guess. 

Yu scuttled back and forth between the three occupied tables in the teahouse, until someone new walked in and settled themselves into a booth. No one paid much mind save for Yu, until the conversation between the two of them got a bit louder.

“All I’m saying is that your face is too cute to be a boy’s face,” the man said loudly. “But you don’t have enough curves to be a girl. So what are you?”

“Sir, please, this is inappropriate.”

“How is it inappropriate to want to know what my server is?”

Everyone’s heads turned towards the table where a middle-aged man was tugging at Yu’s pretty lavender yukata. My hands twitched around my teacup. What the actual hell? Was he drunk? It was only three in the afternoon; what bar was open before now that he could have gotten drunk at?

“C’mon, love, just tell me what’s between you’re legs.”

Excuse me?!

The teacups rattled violently on the table, knocked off balance by Lee suddenly slamming his hand down as he stood. I’d never seen him look so utterly pissed off before. Determined, sure, and I had to admit on a shinobi they were fairly similar looks, but not pissed. Lee generally didn’t get angry. But this was pure righteous indignation. 

“You are being very inappropriate, sir,” he said slowly, as if only barely keeping his voice in check. “Please apologize to Yu-san.”

The man’s attention was taken off Yu just enough for them to free themselves from the man’s grip and stumble away from him. I stood from my seat, catching Yu before they could trip. 

“I’m not apologizing for nothin’,” the man insisted, his words a little garbled. Okay, definitely drunk. I could see Raido and the other jonin stiffen in their seats, ready to act as soon as they felt we were out of our depth. “That little tramp should apologize to me for bein’ so confusing.”

“What does it matter what gender they are?” Mai demanded. “They’re thirteen, you creep, either way you’re being gross.”

“Lee-kun,” I said quietly, “take Yu-san to the back. If the owner is here, let them know what’s going on. Stay with Yu-san until everything is taken care of. Okay?”

Lee hesitated. He probably wanted to be the one to teach the drunkard whatever lesson he was getting. I couldn’t blame him. I wanted to smash the man’s head into the table as well. But Yu-san needed to be taken somewhere safe. And they knew Lee better than they knew me.

Lee didn’t dawdle for more than a minute, and soon he was leading Yu back into the kitchen, an arm over their shoulder. Once I was sure Yu was out of sight, I stepped aside and let Mai do the talking.

“Seriously, where the hell do you get off harassing a kid?” she snarled, stalking towards the man’s table. “They’re thirteen and you’re asking them what genitals they have?! I don’t care if you are drunk, that’s shit you just don’t do!”

“I wouldn’t have to ask if the tramp would just pick one!” the man shouted back. “Anyone would be confused. It’s not my fault they wouldn’t just tell me!”

“They would not tell you because it’s not any of your business.”

I turned to see a graying, older woman step out from the kitchen. Her hands fisted tightly in her green yukata, distorting the pretty pink flower pattern. She marched forward, her geta clacking against the wooden floor, her delicate looking face marred with a scowl. 

“Sir, I have come to inform you that you are no longer welcome here,” she snipped. “Get out. And don’t come back.”

“You can’t do that to me! I’m a paying customer!”

“I can, and I will. I won’t have you harassing my Yu-chan anymore.”

“Why you-“

Aoba’s hand came in out of nowhere and slammed the man’s head down onto the wooden table, his other hand swooping in to catch the civilian’s wrists and pin them against his back.

“I think Keiko-san has made her wishes clear, sir. Let’s not make this any messier than it already is. C’mon.”

As Aoba frog marched the civilian out the door, Keiko, the proprietor of the teahouse, turned to the rest of us with a tired smile.

“Thank you for standing up for Yu-chan. I’d like to say this is the first time something like this has happened, but it’s not. And I’m sure it won’t be the last. It’s rare to find people so accepting of things that go outside what they experience everyday.”

“Is Yu your child?” I asked. The two of them didn’t look terribly alike, and she seemed a little old to have a child as young as Yu.

“In a sense,” Keiko said. “They stumbled into my shop a few years ago, dirty and hungry. I gave them what food I could spare at the moment and they begged me to allow them to return the favor. Ever since they’ve worked here and lived with me.”

“How old were they?” I asked before I could think better of it.

Keiko frowned. “They were ten at the time. I don’t know if they had somehow aged out of the orphanage or if they ever went to one at all.”

Ten seemed like a terribly young age to be ‘aged out’ of an orphanage at. But then again, Naruto had been living on his own since he was five or so. I had no way of knowing if Sasuke was given any sort of guardian after the Uchiha Massacre, and he’d been seven at the time. Given the issues he was still working through, I doubted it. 

“Yu-chan is neither a boy nor a girl, and they quite like it that way,” Keiko said serenely. “And I’ve found that shinobi are much more accepting of that sort of thing than civilians are.”

“The only thing shinobi care about is if you’re going to hurt anyone,” Raido said, startling me. I’d almost forgotten that he and Hayate were still there. “If you’re not, we usually don’t care. Life sucks and then you die, so finding whatever existence makes you happiest without costing others their safety is basically the shinobi ideal.” 

That…wasn’t entirely true. I could say a lot about the treatment of jinchuriki, which certainly wasn’t unique to civilians. I could rant about the Bloody Mist and the treatment of those in the Land of Water with kekkei genkai. Or how much harder it could be for civilian born shinobi to be taken seriously. Shinobi had their fair share of prejudices, even if they weren’t the same as the ones held by civilians. 

Eventually Yu came back out of the kitchen, eyes red and puffy from what I could only assume were tears, Lee just a step or two behind. We returned to our tea, which had cooled significantly during the altercation, and tried very hard to act as if nothing had happened. I could see Raido and Aoba starting at the door, however, waiting for the civilian man to try and come back. 

Eventually the tea ran out, and with it our reason for being in the shop. As we moved to leave, Yu called Lee back into the shop. The rest of us waited out in the street, curious to what was going on behind the shop’s closed door. When Lee finally emerged, his cheeks were tinted red and his eyes were wide in shock. 

“What happened, kiddo?” Mai asked, a teasing smirk on her lips. 

Lee swallowed loudly. “Yu-san has asked me to accompany them on a walk this evening after the teahouse closes.”

I glanced pointedly at Mai and Sakura. “See, I told you we wouldn’t have to say a damn thing.”

 

“Walk with me.”

I twitched as Ryou came out of nowhere and linked his arm with mine. He was getting a bit too good at suppressing his chakra signature in order to sneak around. Damn medic chakra control. 

It’d been several days since the incident at Keiko-san’s teahouse, at least a month since the…thing with Fukuro happened. The chunin exams were getting ever closer. June was right around the corner and everyone was rushing to get ready for it. Even Ryou had gotten sucked into the vortex that was the chunin exams, being recruited as a medic for the second test. 

“What’s going on?” I asked as he tugged me down the street. “Shouldn’t you be working?”

“Today’s my morning shift,” he explained. “I only work til noon. And Iruka doesn’t work the desk tonight does he?”

I blinked owlishly at that. “No…no I don’t think so. He’s been taking fewer shifts at the mission desk because of his work with the chunin exam. Why?”

“Well…” Ryou looked over his shoulder, as if making sure Iruka wasn’t following us. Which of course he wasn’t. It was one in the afternoon and school was still in session. “Sometimes we run into each other on the way to work, the hospital and the academy are along the same road and all, and today he asked me if he could come over this afternoon and discuss something with me.”

“What kind of something?” I couldn’t stop the suspicion that creeped into my voice. Iruka hadn’t mentioned anything to me about wanting to talk with Ryou. And Iruka was usually pretty open about those kinds of things.

“He wouldn’t say,” Ryou admitted. “But I have a theory.”

“Are you going to tell me this theory?” I asked.

“After we pick up Umeko.”

Somehow, without me noticing, Ryou had steered me in the direction of the Hokage’s tower. He led me passed the ground floor facilities that all shinobi used and up the stairs, higher and higher, towards Tsunade’s office. A civilian woman sat at a desk just outside the large double doors that led into the office suite. She lifted her head at the sound of our footsteps, smiling at Ryou.

“Hello, Nekozawa-san,” she greeted cheerfully. “Here to pick up Umeko-chan?”

“Of course. Can’t have her distracting the boys all day, can we?”

The secretary laughed. “Oh, I’m sure they don’t mind. Go on in. Is your friend going with you?”

“Oh, you haven’t met? Hitomi-san, this is Kourubi, head of the Karasuno clan and an old friend of mine. Kourubi, this is Hitomi-san, she’s been working for Tsunade-sama since last December. She’s the one who lent us the playpen for Umeko to use while Genma’s watching her.” 

I nodded in greeting, letting myself get tugged along by Ryou again. Hitomi seemed to find this amusing as she snickered behind her hand as she watched us disappear through the double doors. 

“Where’s my sweet little sugarplum?” Ryou called loudly into the office space. Several chunin and special jonin sat around at desks, reading through paperwork before it got sent through to Tsunade (at least I assumed that’s what they were doing). Izumo and Kotetsu were there, because of course they were, their heads popping up from behind their stacks of paper at the sound of Ryou’s voice. Raido and Genma were at the back, towards a second set of double doors that led directly into Tsunade’s office. In the corner, right by the large row of windows, was Umeko’s playpen. 

“There she is!” Ryou cooed dramatically, releasing my arm and striding over to the playpen. 

“Papa!” Umeko squealed, catching me off guard. Well, I suppose that she would be old enough to know a few words by now. She was something like 6 months old when I’d first met her and that was last fall. Somewhere along the line she’d have to have had a birthday. The question was when. 

“Hey, babe,” Genma greeted, leaning over the back of his chair to plant a kiss on Ryou’s lips. His tired looking gaze landed on me. “Hey, Kourubi.”

I waved, feeling a little awkward. “Hey.”

Ryou ignored the exchange, lifting Umeko out of the playpen. “Alright, Umeko, say bye-bye to daddy, we’ll see him at dinner.”

Umeko waved her pudgy toddler hand at Genma and smiled. “Bye-bye dada.”

Genma smiled, looking all the world like his daughter had cured whatever exhaustion he had. “Bye, sugarplum. Be good for papa, okay?”

Ryou slung his rather beat up looking diaper bag over his shoulder, settled Umeko on his hip, bent to give Genma one more kiss, and then promptly turned on his heels and marched towards the door (and by extension, me). He grabbed my elbow with his free hand as he passed me, effectively forcing me to walk backwards out the door. Umeko waved bye to Hitomi as we passed, Ryou only letting me turn to walk correctly once we’d reached the stairs. 

“It seems I’ve missed a birthday,” I said cautiously, nodding at Umeko.

Ryou scowled. “We all did.”

“What do you mean?”

He sighed, pinching out of the bridge of his nose. “Well, when Umeko’s mother dropped her off with Genma, she hadn’t exactly gone through the legal hoops necessary to have Umeko’s guardianship official passed off to Genma. No birth certificate, no vaccine records, nothing. We had nothing. With the stress of learning to deal with a toddler, we hadn’t exactly had the time to figure out what we were missing. Once we’d finally gotten into the swing of things, Genma decided that he should probably take some legal action. I would have helped, but I’m a runaway kid from a fairly infamous civilian clan. Plus, I have no legal claim to Umeko. She’s my daughter in everything but blood, but blood is what counts here so…”

I frowned, my heart aching for him. Despite all the stuff he said about not liking kids, he really, really loved Umeko. Anyone who couldn’t see that was fucking blind.

“And it takes us months because that woman was just not cooperative. It’s not like she was malicious or anything, she was just…so out of touch with everything that was going on. Constantly late, never even bothering to come prepared with anything ever, it was a nightmare. And that doesn’t even touch on the bureaucracy of the whole thing. That’s why Genma’s been so tired you know? His request has finally been accepted, though, so he should have full legal custody of Umeko in a matter of days. Hopefully.”

“I’m sorry you had go through all that,” I said sincerely.

Ryou gave a tight little smile. “It’s worth it for them.”

By this point we were out of the building and decently far enough away from the masses of gossiping ninja. I figured that was a good time to restart that conversation from before. “So what’s this theory of yours?”

Ryou lifted Umeko off his hip, setting her down on the ground and taking her hand. “Take her other hand. She’s got walking down pretty good but she’s still got some issues with balance and I’d rather she didn’t trip over some random pebble.”

I did so; Umeko’s hand was absolutely tiny in my own. I felt that familiar pang of jealousy. I quickly shoved it down. Not now, dammit. “Okay, seriously, talk to me.” 

“So I’m not sure if you’ve noticed,” Ryou said, “But Iruka is the only one of your little threesome that doesn’t have a thing.”

“It’s not a threesome, Ryou. I’m dating both of them, but they’re not dating each other.”

“Really? And they’re still cool with sharing a bed? Huh.” Ryou frowned thoughtfully for a moment before shaking his head. “Regardless. You have your swords and that weird sound jutsu of yours.”

“It has a name, Ryou.”

Ryou wagged an oddly reprimanding finger at me. “Yeah, but it’s dumb so I’m not gonna say it. Anyway, you’ve got your thing. Kakashi has his whole ‘bluh I’m Kakashi of the Sharingan and I know a thousand techniques chidori bluh’ thing.” 

I rolled my eyes. “An eloquent way of putting it.” 

“Iruka doesn’t have a thing like that. He’s just the academy instructor, the mission desk guy,” Ryou went on. “And I think he feels…I guess the word I’m looking for is inadequate. I know he’s still bothered by the thing that happened with Fukuro.”

“That was weeks ago,” I reminded him. I jerked my hand away from my neck, where it had been scratching at the spot he’d bit. Why had it done that?

“That doesn’t matter Kourubi, it still bothers him,” Ryou insisted. “Just like it still bothers you.”

I turned away from him, my gaze falling to the dirt. 

“And that’s okay. You might never be okay with what happened. That’s not a bad thing. You’ve been hurt, badly, by someone that you trusted at one point. Yeah, he was an asshole but he was still family, and you expected him not to hurt you. But he did. And Iruka…I think he feels partially responsible.”

My gaze shot to Ryou’s face, meeting his pale blue eyes before I was ready to. My shoulders tensed, my hold on Umeko’s hand tightened a little. “Why would he…?”

“Because he wasn’t there. He couldn’t help you. That makes him feel weak. And compared to a lot of people he kind of is. Out of all the people who showed up right after you sent up that chakra flare, he and I were the weakest there. And no one likes feeling weak when the people they care about are in danger.” Without meaning to, Ryou’s eyes fell to Umeko’s dark purple curls.

“So…so you think he’s coming to you for a weapon.”

“I do,” Ryou said with a small nod. It was strange to see Ryou so serious, so honest. Ryou was the funny guy, hiding his feelings behind jokes about sex so you would feel better. Mai was the one for serious talks. Mai was the one who sat you down and talked things through after she was done punching whatever had made you sad into the ground. But Iruka hadn’t gone to Mai; he’d gone to Ryou. And now Ryou had come to me, because Iruka didn’t want to scratch at a wound that hadn’t fully scarred over yet. He didn’t want to make me relive that night. But Ryou was my friend. Ryou would always tell me these kinds of things. 

I was lucky to have him. Lucky to have all of them. I…couldn’t remember having people like this in my old life. Couldn’t remember my friends from Before very much at all. Like my family, they’d been replaced. But at least they’d been replaced with some pretty great people. 

“Do you want to be there, when he visits?” Ryou asked, picking up Umeko, who’d apparently gotten tired of walking, and resting her at his hip. “You can hide on the stairwell. Iruka’s not a sensor so if you hide your chakra enough, he probably won’t know you’re there.”

I shook my head. It was tempting; I had to admit. But no, Iruka deserved more trust than that. “I’ll find out eventually.” 

 

I was alone when Iruka arrived home, later than expected but still well before dinner. Kakashi was out training Sasuke. Tou-san was with the Intelligence division and kaa-san had a weeklong mission in Suna. The house, save for Mori and Gan, was empty. I sat out on the engawa, as the weather just begged me to do, the doors of the audience room wide open to let the warm spring breeze in. 

He tried to sneak past me, but no one escapes that one creaky floorboard right in front of the stairs.

“How was your visit with Ryou?” I asked without turning towards him. 

I could feel him wince behind me. “You knew?”

“I ran into him this afternoon,” I said by way of explanation. My voice was calm, and I could only hope Iruka realized I wasn’t angry with him. 

Soft footsteps grew closer. Then there was the sound of something being set on the ground. That was when I finally turned. Iruka sat on his knees, hands gripped tightly in the fabric of his pants. On the floor between us, was an unstrung bow and a quiver full of brightly fletched arrows. 

“Iruka…?”

“I can’t fight beside you like Kakashi-san can,” Iruka blurted. “I don’t think I ever could. But…even if all I can do is watch your back, then I’ll do everything I can to protect you from a distance.” 

I leaned forward, reaching over the weapons on the floor, to cup Iruka’s face in my hands. His eyes flickered up to meet mine and I smiled at him. “Only if I can protect you too.”

Relief filled his smile as he pressed his forehead against mine, the metal of his headband cool against my skin. I kissed him, my hands sliding down from his jaw to his shoulders as his hands came up to tangle in my hair. 

I pulled away, pecking his lips one last time before speaking. “I love you.”

There was my favorite smile again. “Love you, too.” His fingers slid through my hair. “My pretty birdie.”

Oh.

No one had ever called me pretty before. Not like _that_. Not in a way that meant so much more than just ‘pretty’. Pretty birdie. Precious birdie. Smart. Brave. Strong.

Loved. 

Nothing I could come up with would ever measure up to that.


	26. In Which I Wear a Furisode

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, everyone, the levity I promised two chapters ago. I told you it was coming, it was just a chapter late is all. Anyway, this chapter starts the Chunin Exams arc. I hope everyone's excited for it! Please let me know what you think in the comments. Enjoy!

“A furisode, kaa-san? Really?” 

Kaa-san, maybe out of spite of my complaining, pulled the obi around my waist too tight for a hot second before giving it some slack. “This is your first contract signing since you became clan head. You need to look your best.” She stood and brushed invisible specks of dust off my shoulders. “Besides, you look lovely.” 

Well, I couldn’t exactly argue that. Weeks in advance of Tsugumi’s graduation from the academy, Kaa-san had commissioned Kasasagi to make formal kimonos both Sasuke and me. I was a bit surprised when Kasasagi came back with a furisode instead of a regular kimono. True, I wasn’t married, and I was turning twenty this year, but it still felt odd. Maybe it was because I lived with my significant others like any married woman would. 

The furisode itself was a pale sky blue color that darkened as it went until it was a deep midnight purple at the very bottom. Tree branches covered in pale pink blossoms spread out over the skirt. My obi was a matching shade of pink, with golden thread outlining birds in flight. The sleeves nearly dragged along the ground when I walked. Sasuke’s kimono was dark blue throughout; barely visible black birds flew across the fabric, and Kasasagi was kind enough to embroider the Uchiha crest over his heart. Both of us were unused to such fancy attire. It was hard to move in. I was going to have to sit seiza style, wasn’t I?

Dammit. 

At least kaa-san allowed us to wear zori instead of geta like her and tou-san. There was no way I could do anything but fall over in geta. I’d never been able to walk in high heeled shoes taller than an inch back Before; there was no way I’d be able to in geta. 

The ceremony was held at small family shrine that really didn’t have much use save to give the clan council somewhere to meet other than the clan head’s house. Which I appreciated. I’d rather not have to deal with entertaining a bunch of grumpy old men every time tou-san needed to have a meeting. And tou-san did still have meetings with his clan council. I was nearing the end of my lessons, though, so I’d be taking over soon enough. And the first thing I was going to do was rebuild the council. Isoshigi was on the council, and I had no desire to deal with him any more than was strictly necessary. 

Tsugumi was already there with her family when we arrived, bouncing excitedly on the balls of her feet, her headband reflecting the sunlight as she moved. Kakesu tried to keep her still, his hands on her shoulders, but it seemed to have little effect. Sukua bowed slightly as we approached, but Chouko just smiled and called a bubbly greeting. 

“Hime! Hime!” Tsugumi broke free of her brother’s grasp and ran up to me as fast as her kimono would allow. She practically skidded to a halt in front of me, her bouncing resuming as soon as she stopped. “I graduated at the top of my class, Kourubi-hime! Are you proud of me? There hasn’t been a kunoichi at the top of the class in five years, that’s what sensei said. Were you at the top of your class? I bet you were!”

Alright, who gave the tiny child coffee?

“I don’t remember what ranking I had, Tsugumi-chan,” I admitted. While I had no doubts that Kourubi would be the kind of person who would be at the top of her class, it wasn’t one of those things that I could ‘remember.’ 

“Are your boyfriends coming to my signing?” Tsugumi asked, looking about as if she’d missed Iruka and Kakashi. 

“I’m afraid not, sweetie. Iruka has been bogged down with chunin exam preparations and Kakashi has been uh…informed by Tsunade-sama that he’s going to be part of her security detail to Suna. They’re both very busy. But if they weren’t, I’m sure they’d be here.”

Well, Iruka would probably want to come if he didn’t have other obligations. I honestly didn’t think that Kakashi would be interested in this sort of thing…or have anything that could reasonably be worn to such a ceremony. And while it would have been highly amusing to watch Kakashi try to convince kaa-san that a very specific set of jonin blues that he almost never wore were considered formal, the sight of the cat-masked ANBU carrying him off like a potato sack the other day after Kakashi spent a good ten minutes trying to convince the ANBU that Tsunade didn’t need a security detail (which, in all fairness, she really didn’t) was much funnier. 

Tsugumi seemed disappointed that they wouldn’t be at the ceremony, but was quickly distracted by her parents calling her away. Tou-san herded us all towards the shrine. Zori and geta were left in small cubbies just outside the shrine’s entrance and I just hoped no one got theirs mixed up. I made to sit with kaa-san and Sasuke amongst the rest of the family, but tou-san steered me towards the front of the room, where Tsugumi was already waiting. I sat across from her as tou-san ducked into a side room. He came back a few minutes later with the summoning contract. 

The rest of the family trickled into the shrine. Kasasagi and Daisuke stopped to say hello to me as they arrived, Kasasagi gushing happily over how I looked in my furisode. Speaking of furisode, I was surprised to see that Kamome arrived wearing one as well. It was strange seeing someone as severe as her in something so soft and delicate. She probably had a kunai hidden up those lavender sleeves. She sat between kaa-san and her own mother. I’d never interacted with Hato-ji-san’s widow before, but she was just as beautiful as her daughter. Kaa-san’s sister was there as well. She was a tailor just like her daughter, though she generally worked with clients outside of the clan. 

I caught sight of Kiui’s carmine red hair and found her sitting near Chouko and Sukua with her father. She caught my gaze and inclined her head in a silent greeting. I’d never properly spoken with her before. I’d hopefully have a chance to do so before too long. 

“Well, I think it’s about time,” tou-san said quietly, catching my attention. He turned to me. “Kourubi-chan, would you do the honors?” He gestured to a senbon lying between us and I got his meaning. 

I picked up the needle and held out my hand to Tsugumi. “Your dominant hand, please.” 

Tsugumi lay her left hand palm up in mine. And even through she gave the senbon a dubious look, she didn’t flinch when the point pricked her thumb. She wrote her name slow, careful strokes. Kourubi’s memories told me that the actual writing, the drag of the paper against the wound, was worse that the initial injury. Tsugumi kept her face calm despite the pain. A bitter part of me whispered about how that would make her a good little ninja for the village, but I shoved it down. This wasn’t about that. This was about a partnership that was meant to last a lifetime. Even when everyone else had faded from her life, her bird would be with her. 

Tsugumi sealed her signature with a set of bloody fingerprints like all the others before her. She looked up at me expectantly, unsure what to do next. I smiled at her, lifting the needle to prick my own finger. 

“Follow my lead,” I whispered with a playful wink. Boar, dog, bird, monkey, ram. Our hands slammed down onto the floor simultaneously. From the cloud before me came Mori and Gan, who flew about the room before settling on my shoulders just as the cloud of smoke in front of Tsugumi began to clear. 

More orange than black, the bird beat its wings excitedly. Its black eyes peered up at her from a black face, the rest of its head and body save for its wings and tail was a brilliant orange color. Tsugumi slowly reached out with an open palm, allowing the bird to observe her as it hopped into her hand. 

I leaned across the scroll and whispered to her. “You should give him a name.” 

Tsugumi suddenly looked nervous, bringing her new partner close to her chest. “Is…is Momi a good name?”

Momi. Fir tree. It was as good a name as any, certainly better than some of the names other summons got…like how all the toads literally had ‘toad’ in their name. So I nodded approvingly, watching the nervous energy slide off her shoulders. There was a smattering of applause from the clan, mostly her immediate family, as tou-san rolled up the scroll and carried it off. With the ceremony officially done, the chatting began. Everyone stopped to give Tsugumi congratulations. And I…

I was starting to regret sitting seiza style. 

“Sasuke!”

He turned, frowning in confusion.

“Do me a favor?”

“What?”

I reached out with my hand. “Help me up. My legs are asleep.”

“Pffft-“

“Don’t laugh at meeeeeeee!” 

 

The Academy, which normally would have been empty at this time of the year, was packed to the brim with genin from all over. They’d been squished into a large multipurpose room, which looked like some kind of cross between a gymnasium and a performance hall. The proctors and their assistants (myself included) hid from them in the rafters, a minor genjutsu keeping us from being spotted. There was a buzz of excited energy all around me. Kotetsu and Izumo were snickering to each other from a few feet away. Raido sat beside me, his fingers tapping impatiently on his knee. Aoba, Hayate, and Genma were elsewhere. I’d seen them come in, but had lost them soon after that in the scramble to get everybody in position. Iruka and Ibiki were down behind the stage’s curtains. Just a few more minutes. 

The clock struck one and the buzzing energy suddenly went deadly still. Raido looked like he’d been petrified, eyes darting around the room below, observing every little detail. An explosion sounded from the stage. The red colored smoke cleared slowly, revealing Iruka and Ibiki. An unusual pair, to be sure, but they had worked well together through out the whole process. 

“Welcome everyone,” Iruka greeted, far more cheerful than any greeting the kids were expecting, I was sure. “I’m Umino Iruka, your proctor for this first exam. Let’s not waste any time, shall we? I’m going to need you all to come to the front of the room and receive your room assignments from Ibiki-san and his assistants. Each of you will be assigned to one of three rooms: the red room, the yellow room, or the blue room. The likelihood of you being with your teammates is very small, so don’t count on it. After everyone has been assigned their room you have ten minutes to locate it and take a seat. After you’re all settled in, we will explain the rest of the test. Alright, let’s go. Chop chop!”

The genin surged towards the front of the room where Ibiki and a few others from T&I were waiting with clipboards. The rest of us flickered out of the room and into the hallways. I found Hayate and the two of us ducked and weaved through the crowd towards our assigned room, along with any other shinobi that had been assigned there. Getting to the room was half the battle for the genin. While the rooms were labeled, they would be given no map and no instructions. Supposedly, this was to simulate being lost in an unfamiliar environment. I thought it was just a big dick move, but it wasn’t any worse than the stunt Izumo and Kotetsu pulled the last time Konoha hosted the exams. 

Hayate stood outside the door, volunteering to check the genin’s room assignments before they were allowed in. I sat in a corner, trying to see if I couldn’t radiate some mild killing intent to spook the genin coming in. The first genin to show up was one from Konoha, but not one I knew. They met my eyes briefly as they wandered in, shivering a little as I let the killing intent leak into the room. No wonder the other chunin did this so much. It was kinda fun. 

A few more genin trickled in – a pair from Suna, a quartet from Ame, another kid from Kusa – before some kids I actually recognized entered the room. Sasuke, Ino, Tenten, and Shino had all been assigned my room. They moved in a group, obviously looking for a place where they could all sit together.

“Spread out, kiddos,” I called from the back of the room. “Don’t expect to sit next to your friends. That’s not what this test is about.” 

Ino grumbled a little, but eventually wandered over to the other side of the room. The rest followed her example and just found whatever desk was free. Sasuke, probably on purpose, sat towards the back of the room. Or…was it the front? All the desks faced this way and the chalkboard was along the wall I was leaning against. Maybe it was the front of the room…ugh, whatever. Sasuke sat as close to my spot as he could, as if I was going to give him some kind of hint. Ha! Nice try, baby brother.

Ten minutes finally passed, and Hayate stepped through the doorway, shutting it behind him. As he was walking towards the chalkboard, I heard a heavy thumping noise at the door. Probably some genin who had just missed the deadline. A shame, but Aoba and Genma’s team would be through soon to clear them out. In the end, there were something like forty genin in our classroom alone. Jeez, how many of them showed up in the first place? Too many, if you asked me.

“Alright everyone,” Hayate started…and then paused to cough wetly into his elbow. “I’ll be passing out the test now. You are to complete it on your own. Anyone caught cheating will have points deducted from their entire team’s final score. Each question is worth a certain number of points. Each team must earn a score of one hundred points combined in order to pass. When you are finished with the test, you may hand it in to any one of the chunin proctors in the room. You are to remain at your seat, however, until one forty-five. You have until then to finish the test. After that, you will be escorted back to the initial meeting room to await the results. Any questions?”

None. The room was dead silent.

Hayate nodded. “Very well.” He then began to move along the rows, handing out tests to each genin in turn. At exactly one fifteen, he returned to the front of the room. “You may begin.”

The sound of rustling paper and the scratching of pencil filled the room. The test this year was far easier than the one from last time. The questions just looked complicated at first glance. Genin, if they were good, could pretty easily get at least partial points on every single question. That was, if they kept their cool and didn’t psych themselves out. …Like our Kusa friend in the corner. Kid looked like he was going to wet his pants any moment. I wondered if this was his first chunin exam. I could see his eyes darting over to look at the Ame girl’s paper next to him. I lifted my pad of paper from the floor beside me and marked down his desk number. Hayate was busy wandering around the room, matching names to desk numbers. When he passed me by, I tore the sheet of paper off the pad and handed it to him. He glanced over at the Kusa genin and nodded, scribbling something down on his master list. At the end of the initial score calculation, ten points would be deduced for each time a member of the team was caught cheating. Just one infraction could be the difference between passing and failing.

The half hour passed slowly. I caught a few more genin cheating, but my fellow proctors (most of them from either Intelligence or Torture and Interrogation) caught far more instances of it. I caught that poor Kusa kid four times, and that didn’t even count how often the others noticed him. His team was sunk, even if he was the only one who got busted. Sasuke wrote fairly consistently for about fifteen minutes before raising his hand to turn in his paper. I grabbed it from him, passing it along to a clone of Iruka through a secondary door (the Academy had an almost labyrinthine network of evacuation hallways hidden away behind the classrooms). He’d filled in most of the questions, but knowing him, he was probably relying on Sakura’s genius brain to carry him and Mai through the test. I caught Ino cheating exactly once, when she used that body transfer jutsu of hers to swap places with a rather confident looking Suna kunoichi just in front of her. Sorry Ino, that trick only works once. 

Those who weren’t finished after the half hour had their papers snatched up all too gleefully by the chunin proctors. Hayate, Iwashi (who I’d never worked with before this point), and I herded the genin out of the room and back to the multipurpose room from before. There, they reunited with their teams and then sat and stewed. While the excitement from the chunin had cooled, the genin were bubbling over with nervous energy. I was almost worried a fight was going to break out. 

Luckily, nothing happened. I was almost disappointed. 

Iruka stepped out onto the stage, clipboard in hand and a smile on his face. I wonder if he was actually happy with the results, or if he just wanted to freak everyone out. Probably both. 

“Alright everyone, thank you for waiting. I’ll now announce everyone who successfully passed the first portion of this exam.”

There was an outcry from the genin. First portion? What the hell did he mean first portion? I laughed silently, my shoulders shaking. Sasuke turned and glared at me from his spot at the edge of the crowd, as if he thought I had something to do with it. Which I didn’t. I was just along for the ride. 

Iruka read the names of those who passed in a loud, steady voice. I watched as genin tensed and then relaxed after hearing their names. There were quite a few who’d passed, more than I had honestly expected. Our little friend from Kusa’s name was never called. I wondered how many times he’d gotten caught. 

“If I didn’t call your name, please vacate the building,” Iruka said with finality. 

I waited for someone to put up a fight, to yell and argue and refuse to leave. I was pleasantly surprised when no one did. Then again, this was a far more fair elimination than the whole time limit from the beginning. Combined, the first exam had cut out about half the genin from the rest of the test, far more than the last time Konoha hosted the exam. I wondered if that was on purpose.

Iruka waited for the failures to leave the room before he spoke again. “Ah, there’s one last thing before we finish the exam. That final portion I mentioned before.” That pleasant teacher grin looked downright sadistic in this context. “Each team must decide on one member to disqualify from the rest of the exam. Or, you can all quit and attempt the test together next time, if you think that two of you alone can’t handle the rest of the test.” 

I watched Ino, Chouji, and Kakesu stiffen. I hoped that Ino and Chouji remembered the lesson from the last time they tried to pull this. Kakesu, knowing him, would likely just volunteer to be disqualified. I hoped they wouldn’t let him. 

The silence was quickly broken as teams began to argue amongst themselves. I saw no shortage of pushing and shoving that reminded me of Naruto and Sasuke’s early genin days. Hooo, boy. Some teams actually decided to leave, which surprised me. What didn’t surprise me was that most of them were Konoha teams. Konoha, more than any of the shinobi villages, emphasized teamwork. It was practically a religion for them. 

“Man, fuck that!”

My gaze snapped to Mai, who stood in the middle of the crowd with arms crossed over her chest and a look of steely determination on her face. Ah, so she was the one who was going to give the rousing speech this time around. The room went deathly silent.

“If you think we’re just doing to drop a teammate, then you’ve got another thing coming!” She snapped. “The only way any of us are leaving this room, is if we’ve all passed the test. And if you think you can force me to leave well…” She smirked. “You’re welcome to try.” 

Well, that wasn’t so much of a rousing speech as it was a threat on my boyfriend’s life but points for effort. 

“Hmmm, I suppose if that’s how you feel…” Oh, c’mon Iruka. Don’t be mean; just end their suffering already. “Then congratulations on passing the first exam!” 

Mai blinked, then scowled again. “Was this another one of those tests of character like last time?”

“Of course!” Iruka replied with a beaming smile. “Shinobi work in teams for a reason after all. The idea of leaving a teammate behind should be beyond the pale for each and every one of you. Especially if it’s for something as silly as a promotion. During a mission in a hostile environment, if you can’t rely on your teammates to have your back, then you’re going to die. It’s a simple as that.”

Wow, Iruka, and here I thought you’d somehow sugar coat that.

“Now, our chunin proctors will be passing out a location for all of you to meet us tomorrow for the start of the second exam,” Iruka explained. “You are to be there promptly at 8 in the morning. Tardiness is grounds for disqualification. So don’t be late. Once you’ve been handed the map then you’re free to go. See you bright and early tomorrow!”

I slipped away from my position along the wall to slide into place beside Sasuke at the edge of my Ducklings’ circle. “Good job, all of you.”

Sasuke glared at me like I’d stolen his last piece of barbeque. “You knew he was going to pull that trick at the end, didn’t you?”

“Of course I did. But if you lot remembered what happened last time, then you should have been fine. And you were. So congrats.” I clapped sarcastically. “To celebrate, all of you are coming over to my place for a sleepover so I can make sure every single one of you gets up bright and early for the next exam. Be at my place at 5. Pack for a weeklong mission. Trust me, you’re gonna need it.” 

 

“SASUKE!” I shouted up the stairs as I lugged a futon into the audience room. “Come help me with the futons!” 

The audience room was huge, the biggest room in the house. We were probably screwed if I couldn’t fit everyone in here. But most of the kids were my height or smaller, and by my carefully acquired measurements the room was four of my heights long and two wide. So if they all slept the same way (which was bloody unlikely but whatever) then we could probably fit everyone inside. Well, we’d have to fit them around the tea table in the middle of the room. But that was only about half the size of a futon so we were fine. Probably. 

Don’t look at me like that; I’m a ninja not a mathematician. 

Sasuke stopped at the threshold to stare at the mess I’d made of the room. “This isn’t going to work.”

“Shut up, yes it is!” I threw a futon down in the corner, fiddling with it until it lay flat. I turned to march back to the pile I’d made, throwing Sasuke an unimpressed look. “Are you actually going to help me or are you gonna stand there and be a naysayer all night?”

Sasuke rolled his eyes like the emo teenaged boy he is, but wandered over to pick up a futon anyway. I heard the front door slide open, so I peeked out the room to see Kakashi and Iruka arrive with armfuls of takeout. 

“I still feel like this is cheating,” Iruka was muttered as he stepping into the house. “Helping the kids, I mean.”

“Just because we’re hosting them and making sure they wake up on time doesn’t mean we’re giving them an unfair advantage,” Kakashi argued mildly. “We’re just giving them a good experience to motivate them to do their best. Besides, it’s not like we’ve told them anything about the next exam.” 

Iruka sighed. “I guess you’re right.” He turned and spotted me, hefting the bags in his arms. “Where should we put this?”

“We’ve got the tea table set up in the audience room so I guess that’s as good a place as any,” I called back. “Once you’ve set it down help us configure the futons in here. I want them all down before the kids get here.” 

“Plus Mai and Ryou,” Sasuke reminded me as he threw a futon down. 

“Right, plus Mai and Ryou. And maybe Genma and Umeko. I have no idea what Ryou’s planning.” Hopefully we had enough food for everyone.

The last futon was down just seconds before the doorbell rang. I hurried to the door, throwing it open and causing poor Hinata to nearly jump out of her skin. Neji stood beside her, looking rather put out. 

“Hey,” I greeted. “I’m actually kind of surprised Hiashi let you come.”

“W-we didn’t ask,” Hinata admitted. 

“You snuck out?!” I squealed. “Oh! Good job, princess! I’m proud of you!”

“Please don’t encourage her,” Neji muttered. “This behavior is unbecoming of someone from a clan of Konoha.”

Still with the stick up his ass. At least it was a smaller stick. “Kid, I’m almost twenty and I’m throwing a slumber party. Decorum means nothing to me. Now get in here! Bathroom’s down the hall if you want to change into your pajamas.”

I was just about to close the door when someone shouted my name. I turned to see Kiba, Shino, and Sakura coming down the road. Ryou turned the corner soon after (and I was nearly blinded by his bright, fire truck red hair), Mai in tow. After that, the genin arrived in a steady flow. Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji arrived at the same time, as was expected. Kakesu slipped in via the garden. Tenten and Lee arrived last, Lee apologizing profusely for their tardiness despite the fact they weren’t really late at all. 

“How did you get your parents to allow this?” Sakura asked between bites of food as we scarfed down the take out. 

“Pfft, I don’t need their permission! I’m clan head!” I joked. “Seriously, though, I gave them like a warning a week ago and they just decided to spend the night at an onsen instead of dealing with the lot of us.”

“Considering how loud I know the boys can get, it’s understandable,” Mai chuckled. “Oh, by the way. Since we’re having a slumber party, I figured I’d bring my supplies.” She shuffled over to her pile of things and pulled out a large box. She brought it over to the tea table and opened it up, revealing an absolute treasure trove of nail polish. 

“Holy shit, Mai!” 

“I told the girls back home when I was like, four that I liked how they painted their nails and ever since they’ve been getting me nail polish for presents,” Mai explained. “And I mean, what’s a slumber party without painting your nails?”

“A crappy slumber party!” Ino squealed, already digging through Mai’s collection. “Oh, wow! This is all shinobi grade stuff! This must have been expensive.”

“Ah, well, when the girls get favorite customers, they sometimes request things from them,” Mai said, shifting uncomfortably despite the nonchalant smile on her face. “I think that’s how they get this stuff half the time.” 

“Ooooh~ Sakura! Paint my nails this color,” Ino demanded, pulling out a bottle of bright red polish. “I want it to look like I paint my nails with the blood of my enemies!” Holy shit, Ino. 

Shikamaru shot her a look of mild annoyance. “Blood’s not that bright, dumbass.”

Ino ignored him.

“Okay, but then you have to paint mine,” Sakura agreed, looking through the collection. She pulled out a far subtler pink shade. “I like this one.” 

“Everyone will have a turn,” Mai promised. “Even the boys, if they want to join in. This stuff is pretty awesome. It’d probably be a good idea to have everyone get their nails painted before tomorrow, if the next exam is anything like the Forest of Death. Here, Kourubi, I think this color would be perfect for you.”

Mere minutes later, my nails were painted a deep wine red that matched my signature tunic. Sakura had finished Ino’s nails and was waiting for them to dry so her friend could return the favor. Tenten gleefully painted Mai’s nails a dark purple as Lee rifled through the different colors. Sasuke had tried to escape back up the stairs to avoid having his nails painted, but Kakesu caught him before he could get through the door.

“If we suffer, you suffer with us,” Kakesu told him, passing Sasuke off to me. 

Sasuke huffed, his cheek resting heavily in his hand as he leaned against the tea table. He pointedly didn’t look at me when I grabbed his other hand and began coating his nails in black polish. I wasn’t nearly as efficient as Mai and the other girls were, but at least my hands were steady. 

“Um, I’d like my nails to be the same color as yours, Mai-senpai,” Hinata said quietly. 

Mai stared at her thoughtfully for a moment. With the hand that was already dry, she reached into her box and pulled out a pale lavender-pink color.

“Well, you can if you want. But I thought you might look good with this color.” 

Hinata blushed, looking embarrassed. “Oh, okay. Whatever you think is best.”

Mai frowned. “Now, wait a minute. Don’t be like that; it was just a suggestion. We can paint your nails any color you want. I just wanted to let you know the option was there.” 

Hinata blinked in surprise. She considered things for a moment before speaking again, more confident then before. “I’d still like my nails to be the same as yours, senpai.”

Mai nodded in approval. “We can do that.”

“Neji might look good with that other color,” Tenten suggested, making Neji flinch. 

“Oh, he would!” Mai grinned. “Hinata! Grab him!” 

“There is no need for that!” Neji shouted, red-faced as Hinata reached out and gently took hold of his sleeve. 

At this point, Iruka poked his head in to check on us like the responsible adult he was. “Everyone okay in here?”

A chorus of ‘yes’ greeted him, each one varying in enthusiasm. I turned over my shoulder to smile at him.

“Do you want your nails painted, too, Iruka?” I asked, releasing Sasuke’s hand and grabbing at the other. 

Iruka laughed nervously and shook his head. “Ah, no thank you.”

“Suit yourself,” I said with a shrug. I watched him leave and then turned back to finish painting Sasuke’s nails. He actually didn’t seem too annoyed with them, which was more than I’d hoped for. 

Sasuke darted out of reach of everyone else the minute I finished his nails. I snorted and rolled my eyes. Teen boys, am I right? I felt a presence looming behind me. I leaned back, my head bumping into Shino’s knees as he stared at the different colors all laid out on the table.

“You want your nails done, Snuggle bug?” I asked gently. 

I saw the tips of his ears go a little red, and honestly the blushes were the best part of giving these kids nicknames. He didn’t nod or shake his head or react in any meaningful way, his stare just got a little more intense. Sitting up properly, I started shifting through the bottles of nail polish, looking for one I thought might suit him. That included getting a look at everyone else’s nails. Chouji seemed unusually pleased with his peachy-pink nails. Hinata had Neji captive, almost done painting that same lavender color Mai had recommended for her earlier onto his nails. Ino was busy with Shikamaru, who seemed resigned to having his nails slate grey simply because he didn’t want to put in the effort of fighting. Mai had Ryou’s hand in her grasp, painting his nails a brilliant teal color that reminded me of his old hair. Lee’s nails were half painted already, the green color matching his jumpsuit almost too well. Kakesu sat in front of Sakura, watching as she turned his nails brilliant blue to match his bird partner. None of these were colors that fit Shino. I frowned and reached for the box, digging for colors that hadn’t yet been pulled out. 

Oh? What’s this?

I pulled out a deep, metallic hunter’s green. Yeah. That could work.

“What about this one, kiddo?” I asked, holding up the bottle for him to see. “It kinda reminds me of a beetle’s shell.” 

Shino stared at the color in silence for a few moments before nodding in approval. He settled in front of me, offering his hand casually as if he did this sort of thing all the time. And maybe he did, I didn’t really know that much about Shino or his family. 

Kiba sort of hovered at the edge of the nail painting circle, not quite as avoidant as Sasuke but still he hadn’t jumped in like everyone else had yet. He eyed the polish with concerned hesitation, like he thought it was going to jump up and bite him. 

“What’s wrong, pup?” I asked. “You don’t have to paint your nails if you don’t want to. I only made Sasuke because he’s my brother.”

“Uh, well, um…” Kiba’s gaze fell and he looked almost embarrassed. “I just don’t know what my mom and sister would say.”

Mai paused in painting Tenten’s nails a brick red to frown thoughtfully at that. “Well, we can always just do a clear coat. The smell goes away when it dries so your family probably won’t be able to sniff it out. That way you can still have the experience, but no one has to know if you don’t want them to.”

Kiba hesitated just a little longer, but then set his face like this was the most dangerous thing he’d ever do and nodded. Tiny claps of delight let everyone know that Hinata was ready for some more nail painting even before she tugged Kiba towards her by the sleeve of his jacket. 

“Um.” All eyes were on Chouji. “I’d like to try. If that’s okay.” 

Hinata beamed at him. “Of course, Chouji-kun. H-here, switch spots with me.” 

“This is great,” Ino crooned. “If he’s any good at it, then I’ve got someone to paint my nails when Sakura’s away. I mean, I’d paint them myself, but that’s just a hassle.” 

I smirked. “You could almost say it’s …troublesome?”

Ino’s blonde hair whipped around and hit her in the face with how fast she turned to glare at me. Shikamaru actually laughed and Chouji just grinned at me. 

“I can’t believe you did that,” Sasuke grumbled, finally wandering back over to the group.

Ryou smirked, letting loose a little half laugh. “Then you haven’t known her near long enough.” 

 

Everyone was still asleep, but I had woken up an hour ago. The room was quiet save for the snores coming from Kiba and Sasuke’s soft mumbling. The alarm clock sitting silently atop the tea table wasn’t due to ring for another twenty minutes but I found myself wide-awake anyway. I pushed myself up in to a sitting position, careful to use the futon as leverage and not my boyfriends. I didn’t remember them coming down to sleep with me, but they obviously must have. I rubbed at my face, groaning quietly. Well, there wasn’t any use in me just sitting around for another seventeen minutes. 

I stood and carefully tiptoed around the sleeping bodies. I passed Sasuke and Sakura, my baby brother wrapped protectively around his teammate. Mai and Ryou slept back to back, Hinata using Mai’s outstretched arm as a pillow as she curled into Neji’s side. Kiba and Shino were on the other side of the room, Kiba’s head pillowed on Shino’s stomach. Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji were curled up together in another corner. Kakesu slept on his own, a short distance from his temporary teammates, hugging his pillow close to his chest. Tenten and Lee had started out fairly close to each other early in the night, but had somehow managed to roll several feet away from each other throughout the night. Lee kicked in his sleep and I understood why Tenten had moved away from him. 

I wandered up the stairs, checking my pack and the pack Sasuke had put together the night before. I wasn’t Sasuke’s enemy until the exam started and I had just over two hours left until that happened. Ah, good thing I checked. I forgot to slip the storage scroll holding Kasasagi’s gift to him and his teammates into his bag. I wonder if she’d done the same thing for Kakesu? I supposed I’d find out after the exam. 

I heard the ear splitting sound of the alarm clock going off, shortly followed by startled yells and groggy groans. I shook my head fondly and wandered back down the stairs, putting on the most obnoxious grin I could to match the obnoxiously early time. I threw open the doors, the rattle and bang startling what few kids still weren’t fully awake.

“Alright, ducklings! Up and at ‘em! It’s time for the second exam!”


	27. In Which Izumo and I are Awkward as Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'm back with another chapter. I finally caved and made this a new document after my initial MFAW word doc reached over 440 pages. It was just ridiculous at that point. Also, I have a little treat in the works for ya'll. Since MFAW is written in first person point-of-view, a lot of stuff that happens to Ryou and Mai and Noboru-sensei gets missed out. SO! I've decided to write some side stories to sort of fill in the gaps. I'm already working on the first one. I'm hoping to have a few done and ready to publish by the time MFAW hits the Shippuden timeline, which is when I plan on letting you all ready Mai and Ryou's side adventures. So look forward to that! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter.

The chunin left before everyone else, Mai promising that she’d get everyone out of the house with plenty of time to spare. Kakashi tried to make the same promise, but no one believed him. Despite how cute he was when he pouted, it would take more than that for anyone, even me, to believe him when it came to anything he said about time management. 

“Does everyone know where they’re stationed?” Iruka asked, sounding like he was asking his students if they had their fieldtrip buddy with them. 

“Yeah, but no one’s told me who’s on my team,” Shikamaru drawled. 

“All I know is that anyone on the Land of Wind’s side of the border is getting a Suna ninja,” I said with a shrug. “Who’s in charge of the team list anyway?”

“Raido,” Iruka answered.

“Oh, okay. That’s good. I like Raido. And he likes me…I think.” Hopefully that meant I’d end up with someone who wasn’t going to annoy me. The heat would be bad enough without people bugging me, too. 

“Are you in the desert, senpai?”

I nodded. “You, Smartypants?”

“Desert.” We both turned to Ryou and Iruka, waiting for them to jump into the conversation.

“I’m a medic, of course I’ll be in Suna,” Ryou grumbled. “No medical attention for the brats until they’ve finished the race.”

All eyes were on Iruka now, our expression ranging from curious to suspicious. Iruka laughed nervously and rubbed at his scar.

“I’m at the border, on our side.”

We groaned in unison. It sounded a little bit like a dying cow. Very attractive. 

I forgot just how many chunin and special jonin had been recruited to help with the exams until I saw them all packed together in front of a makeshift platform. Raido stood atop it, tapping his foot impatiently as he waited for everyone. We must have been some of the last, because he started calling out teams soon after we arrived. Ryou rushed off to join up with the other medics once Raido had told them where to leave from. I wondered if they would be using a flying summon to get to Suna in time. 

Iruka ended up being teamed up with Kotetsu and Aoba. My lips twitched upwards when Izumo made a racket about being separated from his boyfriend. Well, I assumed they were boyfriends. The gossip vine seemed to like implying they were. I wouldn’t be surprised.

Shikamaru was shipped off with two members of Torture and Interrogation that I only vaguely recognized. Which left me all alone, waiting for my name to be called. The number of people left in the crowd was dwindling quickly. 

“Karasuno, Gekko, Kamizuki,” Raido barked. “You lot will be meeting up with your Suna guide at Suna Outpost 30. Get going. Your teleportation seal is just over there”

The three of us took the two seconds necessary to find each other before taking off, Izumo and I following after Hayate. It was an odd team up, I had to admit. Two kenjutsu experts and …whatever Izumo is. What did he do? Other than gate duty, the mission desk, and being Tsunade’s gofer that is. Bluh, whatever. Hopefully I wouldn’t have to find out. 

Teleportation seals were a relative rarity. They required both the launch point and the destination to be inked up and most people didn’t have that kind of time nor did they have the resources. But the distance between Konoha and the majority of the Land of Wind’s desert was too far to just run it. We stepped into the circle drawn on ground, Hayate’s hands latching onto me and Izumo, gripping our wrists tighter than first glance would suggest Hayate was capable of. The shinobi in charge of the seals waited only a moment more before sending us off. 

It felt like someone was trying to yank my spine out through my chest as we spun out of existence for a hot second only to reappear inside a cool, dark room a heartbeat later. My vision spun and I stumbled into Izumo.

“Sorry,” I mumbled, breathing deeply through my nose as I tried not to barf. 

“Man, you’re lucky Gaara’s not here to see you look like such a sad sack. You’d break his whole world view.”

I turned towards the new voice, slowly as to not make my motion sickness worse, to find Kankuro standing there, eyeing me with far more amusement then was necessary. 

“Fuck you, man. I’d like you to hold onto your breakfast after getting tugged through time and space,” I groused.

“Do you need me to hold your hair back while you barf?” Izumo asked, reminding me that he was my favorite between him and Kotetsu.

I waved him off. “I’ll be good in a second. Promise.”

None of them believed me. Jerks. You could at least pretend to take my word for it like Iruka would have. 

“So what’s the plan?” I asked, trying to get them to stop looking at me like I was incapable. 

“We set up alarms between the different outposts to let us know when anyone crosses either into the track or out of it,” Kankuro explained, pointing to a radio speaker on the wall. “If that happens, we move out and deal with the problem. Other than that, we’re just on look out.” 

Sounded boring as hell. 

“I hope you guys like heat and sunshine, cause we got a lot of that here,” Kankuro teased, turning to lead us up a set of stairs. Hayate followed after him without a moment’s hesitation. Izumo waited with me until I’d completely righted myself and then we made our way towards the stairs, climbing them slowly.

I reached for my pouch, taking out the storage scroll where the majority of my necessities had been packed away. I unfurled it, searching out the right seal. Izumo eyed me curiously as we climbed the stairs.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Just looking for something…ah, here it is.” I slapped the seal, feeding it some of my chakra, and from the seal popped a sand colored hooded poncho. It was a gift from Kasasagi, given out of sympathy for my current situation. The most amazing part? Instead of just arranging the feathers around the poncho’s shoulders like a boa, Kasasagi had taken the time to actually arrange the feathers so that they looked like real wings. I couldn’t fathom how much time and effort that must have taken. The blue and grey feathers shone in the minimal light of the outpost as I slipped the garment on. It was lighter than I’d expected. 

“Ah…” Izumo frowned. “What’s that for?”

“To protect me from the sun,” I said, flipping up the hood. “When in the desert, one should protect their skin. And cover their hair, especially if it’s dark.”

“I hadn’t thought of that.”

I laughed. “Me neither. This was my cousin Kasasagi’s idea.” 

“Guess she’s been on a mission to Suna before.”

“No, she’s not a shinobi. She’s a tailor.” 

“Huh.”

Well that got awkward real fast. 

Kankuro stuck his head over the railing to shout down at us. “The hell is taking so long? Are you two making out or something?”

Why was that the first thing his mind went to? Was it because Izumo offered to hold my hair? Was that a thing in Suna? “What? You angry I’m not making out with you instead? You jealous? Might be easier to get people to make out with you if they weren’t worried about you smearing your war paint all over their faces.”

Even in the dim lighting of the bunker (which was probably to keep it as cool as possible) I could see Kankuro’s cheeks color red. “Sh-shut up! I’ll have you know that girls dig the paint.” 

“You keep telling yourself that,” I snarked, finishing climbing the stairs with Izumo right behind me. Only for us to find yet another flight of stairs. Joy.

“Just hurry up. The lookout post is up stairs,” Kankuro groused, stomping away from us.

Izumo stuffed his hands in his pockets and made to follow, but then he paused as if thinking of something, and turned to me. “You know. If you ever do want to make out, I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”

Huh?

“Oh, so I guess the rumors about you and Kotetsu aren’t true?”

Izumo snickered, absolutely no shame on his face. “No, they are. I’m like you,” he explained. “I’m poly.”

Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh. To be honest I didn’t think I’d ever meet someone ‘like me’ in the entire ninja world, let alone Konoha. Ah, he probably expected an answer. Well, I mean. He was cute. And were I not perfectly happy and content with Kakashi and Iruka, I might have been tempted. But I had my boys, and I didn’t really need any one else. Though…it was nice to know that he found me make-out-worthy. I guess? …Was that weird?

“I, uh, appreciate the offer,” I said, tugging at the hem of my poncho. “But I’m not really looking to enter any other relationships. And even if I was, I’m demi, so it’d take a good long while before I might even get the inkling of wanting to make out with you, so…”

The only reason it hadn’t with Kakashi and Iruka was because I was already attached to them by the time I’d become Kourubi. I’d loved them from before I’d even met them.

“I get it,” Izumo assured, reaching out to set a friendly hand on my shoulder. He blinked in surprise. Then he started petting at the feathers that covered the poncho, childish wonder sparkling in his visible eye. “Holy shit those are soft.” 

“…pffftttthahahahahaha!” Oh, shit. I think I snorted. And then I choked. Why do all the best laughing fits end in either coughing or wheezing? That’s just not fair. “What the hell, Izumo?” 

“Sorry, I just didn’t expect them to be so soft,” he apologized, taking back his hand. 

“Obviously,” I teased. “I just feel bad cause you probably had something kinda profound to say but my amazing fashion sense ruined it for you.” 

He rolled his eyes. “I’m just waiting for you to start flapping that poncho of yours and take off.” 

“Ha! If only.”

 

The outpost, as it turned out, was almost completely underground. The only part of it that rose above the sand was the lookout, a bunker-like hovel with narrow windows that allowed those inside to see out, but kept most of the desert sunlight from getting in. A door on the ceiling allowed for access to outpost. You know, if you didn’t have a teleportation seal set up. A map on the wall showed us just how close we were to Sunagakure. It would take days for any of the genin to show up on our radar. If we were lucky we’d see someone on day five, but more likely it’d wouldn’t be until the last two days. 

Ugh, this was going to be boring as hell. 

I sat on the cold, hard floor, as the lookout didn’t have any chairs and I didn’t feel like going back down stairs to find one (even if that would give me something to do). Fiddling with my poncho helped me to occupy my mind for a short while, but it quickly became boring. The room didn’t have a clock, so I had no idea how much time had passed. Probably not nearly enough. 

I stood, popped my back loudly. “If it’s okay with you guys, I’m gonna go find a place to take a nap. Didn’t get enough sleep last night.” 

Hayate nodded, making his way away from the windows and towards the stairs. “Actually, let’s do this. We’ll go in shifts. You and I will rest now, and Izumo will stay up here with our host.” He ignored Kankuro’s grumbling about how he had a name. “We’ll switch in four hours. Kankuro-san? Is there a place where we can rest?”

In a better mood now that he was being addressed by name, Kankuro pointed down the stairs. “On the bottom floor where you guys came in. There’s a door on the opposite side of the room from the stairs. There’re a couple of beds you can use.”

We followed his directions, descending back down into the bowels of the earth it seemed like. The barracks were just as dark as every other room in the bunker. I slipped my poncho off and unbraided the feathers from my hair, sitting down on the closest bed. I could tell just by sitting on it that it wouldn’t be comfortable. Nonetheless, after removing my swords and weapons pouch, I flopped down onto the mattress, staring up at the dark ceiling. Yep, this bed was not comfortable at all. But, I had to admit it was better than sitting on the floor. 

 

I wasn’t entirely sure I’d actually fallen asleep when Hayate woke me up later. It hadn’t felt like it. More like I’d just blinked and all of a sudden it was four hours later. My stomach growled and my back ached as I sat up in bed. 

“Kankuro-san says there is food ready for us,” Hayate said, retrieving his katana from where he’d rested it against the wall. “Since your stomach seems to be asking for it.”

Lunch was as interesting affair. The four of us sat on the floor in the lookout, disposable plates and plastic forks in hand. I hadn’t handled a fork since the mission to the Land of Flowers, whose food was far more European than Konoha’s more traditionally Japanese cuisine. I had a hard time pinning down Suna’s influence. On the plate in my hands was a naan-like flat bread smeared with what I thought sour cream and piled high with shredded meat of some kind and sprinkled with a crumbly cheese, not unlike that made from goat’s milk. Along side that was a pile of rice and veggies, mostly corn, tomatoes, and onions. There was something vaguely Mediterranean about it. 

Either way, it was fucking delicious. 

“Like it?” Kankuro asked with a laugh when I made a happy noise as the food hit my tongue.

“Yeah,” I answered, shoveling a mouthful of rice into my mouth. I managed to swallow before speaking again. “It actually reminds me of something my parents make at home for special occasions. Our version has fried bread on the bottom, though; it’s all nice and crispy on the outside and chewy on the inside. The meat is different too. We use beef back home.”

“Yeah, no, this is veal,” Kankuro said. “That fried bread stuff sounds good.”

“Drop by my place next time you’re in Konoha,” I invited. “We’ll have a party.” 

 

The next few days passed much the same as the first. Four hour shifts in the lookout followed by four-hour breaks, usually for napping. We didn’t have another one of those naan-gryo-taco things again, which was disappointing. Kankuro had brought the stuff from home, it turned out, because his sister had been insistent on him making a good impression (apparently he was bad at that). After we’d gone through what he’d brought we were back on jerky and ration bars. I couldn’t wait for this test to be over with so we could all get to Suna proper and eat some real food again. 

I fell asleep during late night shifts more than once. Hayate seemed content to let me sleep, though. I think he might be my new favorite. 

During one of my breaks, however, about three days in, Kankuro came thundering down the stairs to the middle floor where Hayate and I were sitting around, doing a shit load of nothing. 

“Just got a messenger from the outpost south of us. They just spotted the first batch of genin. We’ll be seeing them in the next couple of hours.”

“Fucking finally!” I said with a groan as I stretched. 

In anticipation, Hayate and I stayed up in the lookout with Izumo and Kankuro, watching from the thin windows. True to his word, not three hours later, a genin team came running by. It was hard recognize them at the distance, but part of me thought that I saw a flash of pink that could have been Sakura’s hair. 

“Ah, looks like the kids are going to have a hard time,” Izumo muttered from the opposite side of the lookout, where the window gazed out into the vast desert on the other side of the track’s border. “Looks like a sandstorm’s heading our way.”

“What?” Kankuro nudged him aside to see what Izumo was looking at. His face went from incredulous to grim the instant he saw it. “That’s not a sandstorm.”

“How can you tell?” Izumo asked.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. “He lives here, Izumo, I’m pretty sure he knows what a sandstorm looks like.”

“Yeah,” Kankuro grumbled, reaching down to heft his puppet onto his back. “And that’s not a real sandstorm. It was too sudden and it’s too narrow. Someone’s trying to interfere with the exam and is using wind or earth jutsu to try and cover their tracks.”

“I take that to mean we’re engaging?” Hayate asked grimly.

Kankuro nodded, pushing at the trap door in the roof. “I don’t know what they think they’re doing, but we need to keep them from crossing into the track.”

We all climbed out after him, feeling the sun on us for the first time in days. God, it did feel like an oven out here. Whose idea was it to let Suna host a chunin exam in the middle of summer? At least my poncho was getting some use. 

Kankuro jumped from the rooftop, pushing chakra into his feet so he could glide down the dunes, almost like a skier over snow. 

“That’s fucking cool,” I whispered as Hayate followed after him using the same trick. 

Izumo and I…well we didn’t look nearly as cool running over the sand, but I didn’t trust myself to not over do the chakra thing and send myself flying into the air or something. 

“So what the plan?” I asked as Izumo and I caught up to Hayate and Kankuro. “Anyone got a wind jutsu or something to blow the sand away?” 

Izumo and Hayate shook their heads and our gazes turned to Kankuro.

“Do I look like my sister?” he snapped.

“Well, I mean, I’d assume so. You’re siblings.”

Kankuro growled at my statement, slapping his hand to his face. “Not what I meant and you know it. I do puppets, she does wind. And never the two shall mix.”

“Alright, alright,” I muttered. I sighed. “I have an idea, but it’s kinda stupid and it might not work.”

“Try it anyway,” Hayate ordered. “And do it quick, we’re getting close.”

My hands flew through the now all-too-familiar hand signs. Ram-rat-snake-dragon. I held the vibrations close to my body until we could feel the chakra stirring the sands from within the fake sandstorm. 

“Fortissimo!” 

The vibrations pushed back against the oncoming sand, refusing to let it move forward. The music was familiar, as it always was, stirring up memories of teenagers bouncing to the beat in a school cafeteria. 

The sand began to fall away, who ever was controlling it realizing that they weren’t able to move forward anymore. I let my jutsu pull back close to my body again, reaching for my katana. White and black camouflage print caught my eye through the falling sand. Ice cold fear clenched at my heart.

What were Oto ninja doing here?

I didn’t have time to think too hard on the why of the whole situation, since as soon as the sand had dropped one of the shinobi was on me. I threw up an arm to block their spin kick, the impact leaving with pain deep in my bones. Thinking fast, I wrapped my blocking arm around their leg, pulling hard. The masked ninja gave a cry as they fell to the sand below. 

Someone, probably Izumo, spat some kind of sticky syrup onto the sand, trapping the shinobi I just took down. Gross, but effective. With that opponent taken care of for now, I turned to their teammates, who were currently engaging Kankuro’s two puppets. I’d forgotten he made another one. While they were distracted, Hayate slid through the minimum amount of shadows. He unsheathed his sword, slicing through one of the shinobi’s backs in the same movement. Distracted by his comrade’s sudden death, the other soon fell to whatever poison Kankuro coated his puppet’s weapons in. 

“Kourubi!”

I whipped around at the sound of Izumo’s voice. The shinobi he’d trapped was free and heading straight for me. Thinking fast, I focused the vibrations of my jutsu into my hand. My hand twitched and shook with the intensity of it. Just as he was within reach, I lashed out, slamming the palm of my hand against his ear and pushing the vibrations against him.

He crumpled to the ground, ear bleeding. That…worked better than I anticipated. 

“Holy shit, you killed him,” Kankuro gasped. “You slapped him and it killed him.”

“He’s not dead,” Hayate corrected, feeling for a pulse. “Deaf out of his left ear, but not dead.” 

I shrugged and admitted, “I honestly didn’t think that would work. But, uh, now we have someone to take back to Suna and interrogate, yeah?”

Kankuro shrugged. “Sure. I’ll take care of that. You three stay at the bunker until I get back.”

He gathered the unconscious shinobi up into his second puppet, one I hadn’t seen in action yet, and carted him off in the direction of Suna. We had no idea when he’d be back, which was probably something we should have asked before he left, but something else was on my mind.

“Was it just me, or was that…too easy?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs Mentioned this part: [Sandstorm by Darude](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HQaBWziYvY)


	28. In Which Someone Tells Me I'm Pretty (And I Don't Believe Them)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dearies! I'm back~ So today, I'd just like to say a huge thank you to mira-jadeamethyist and purple-possibilities on tumblr for frequently interacting with me and tagging me in posts. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. 
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy this chapter!

Kankuro didn’t return until the next day, five days into the exam, with news none of them wanted to hear. They weren’t the only ones who had been attacked by Oto ninja hiding behind an artificial sandstorm. Several other outposts had dealt with something similar, but only two outposts had brought back prisoners, theirs and the outpost closest to the village itself. 

This was not a good sign.

“I’m trying to figure out why they’d attack another chunin exam,” Izumo said, arms crossed tightly across his chest. “You’d think Orochimaru would come up with some other plan.”

“There’s no guarantee that Orochimaru is behind this,” Hayate argued. “He’s got plenty of subordinates who’d love to prove their loyalty.”

“The chunin exam is the best time to attack if you want to snatch up potential lab subjects,” I added. “There’s literal miles of desert with minimal security full of the village’s best genin. Besides…Orochimaru still wants Sasuke, and this will be the first time in a long while that he’s outside the village without myself or Kakashi supervising.” 

“Do you think they’ll back off now that their plan has failed?” Kankuro asked, the dark shadows of the bunker making his face seem sharper than usual.

I shrugged helplessly. “Who can say? If there’s one thing I’ve learned about shinobi, it’s that when they get fanatic, they also get recklessly stubborn. I don’t think we’ve seen the last of them.”

 

Despite how quite the last two days of the exam were, I couldn’t help but feel like the Oto shinobi would return at any moment. There was no way they’d give up after just one try, would they? I couldn’t be sure, this wasn’t ‘canon’ as far as the time line I knew was concerned. I knew nothing about how this exam would go. I was essentially blind until Naruto came home. When would that be? Soon, I thought. Maybe another year? But then there was the problem of whether he was supposed to be gone for two and a half years or three. God, I hated not knowing what was going to happen. 

The genin had been given until 8 at night on the seventh day to make it to Suna. At half past 8 that night, a Suna chunin knocked on the hatch into the look out and told us to pack it up. The exam was done. All that was left to do was for the clean up crew to sweep through and pick up the stragglers and the possible dead. 

We didn’t arrive in Suna until almost midnight, exhausted and in serious need of decent food and a comfortable bed. Baki was there to greet us when we arrived. I stood between him and Hayate, remembering what was supposed to happen between the two of them. Baki may not have killed Hayate in this world, but I wasn’t going to take the chance of any kind of altercation. I liked Hayate, he was a good friend, and I had no way of knowing how to feel about Baki. 

“You Konoha nin can rest now,” he told us, his voice gruff but unthreatening. “Your job is done. Kankuro will escort you to where you will be staying, same inn as the Konoha genin.” 

We followed Kankuro through the nearly deserted streets of Sunagakure. The only people still out and about were shinobi dealing with the exams and a few drunks stumbling home. The inn, luckily enough, was situated along the main street, which would make it easier to find later even without a guide. An older woman sat behind the desk in the foyer, a sweet smile on her face despite the late hour and how many guests she was probably dealing with. 

“Pick a room, any room,” Kankuro said with a lazy wave of his hand. “There’s too many of you to bother trying to corral you. See you later.”

And with that he was gone. 

We hesitated. I knew I wanted to try and find my friends or Iruka. But likelihood was Sasuke and the others would be asleep. Ryou was probably still dealing with disqualified participants who needed healing. And who knew if Iruka was even here. Izumo probably wanted to be with Kotetsu as soon as possible. Who knew what Hayate was thinking?

“Excuse me, young lady,” the innkeeper called, waving me over. She eyed me critically for a moment, her eyes bright and playful despite her weathered appearance. “Would you happen to be Kourubi?” 

Panic gripped me briefly, a quick flash before subsiding. Other Konoha shinobi were staying here, they might have asked for me. “Yes,” I said carefully. “That’s me.”

The woman smiled, pulling out a small slip of paper from her pocket. “A gentleman asked me to give you this when you arrived.” 

On the slip in familiar handwriting was a room number. I smiled, so Iruka had gotten here already. He must have left early, made sense, considering most of the genin would have passed his station fairly early in the exam. 

“He said he’d be waiting up for you,” the woman informed me with a sly smirk on her face. “You’re a very lucky girl, you know. Most men would fall right to sleep. I’d be careful, though, my dear, the walls can be thin.” 

I ignored her comment, turning to my teammates with a wild grin instead. “Bye, bitches! Imma go see my boyfriend!”

I took off up the stairs, giggling to myself when I heard Izumo say, “Did she just?”

Iruka was several floors up, and the me from Before would have hated the lack of elevators in the shinobi world. The halls were narrow and, like the outpost, dimly lit. At the end of the hall was the room in question, its pale green door staring me down as I approached. I knocked softly when I reached it, not wanting to wake up anyone else on the hall. The door swung open and…

And how had I not known how much I missed him until now?

I near tackled him back into the room with the force of my hug. The door swung shut behind me without Iruka to hold it open. He laughed, only barely trying to keep quiet. 

“I missed you,” I told him, my voice muffled by how I buried my face in his shoulder. 

He laughed some more. “It’s only been a week.” 

I kissed him, quick and sweet. “Doesn’t matter.” Another kiss. “I missed you.” Another. “I love you.” 

Iruka hummed contently against my lips, making them tingle in what was probably the most pleasant way possible. “Love you, too.”

“Also, thanks for making it so I don’t have to share a room with Izumo and Hayate tonight,” I said. “Izumo talks in his sleep. And Hayate snores like a motherfucker.” 

“Looks like I’ve saved the day,” Iruka teased, spinning me about. 

“Most definitely,” I agreed. “Now put me down, I wanna sleep.” 

“You always want to sleep,” he pointed out, tossing me onto the bed. I giggled as I bounced. 

“Not always, but it gives me a great excuse to cuddle up to someone for a long period of time. And cuddles are the best. Anyone who says otherwise is just wrong.”

Iruka flopped down onto the bed beside me, and I couldn’t help but notice there was plenty of room for another person. Oh, Iruka, you thoughtful little sunflower. An arm went around my waist and pulled me down. 

“Noooo, Iruka! Not yet!” I squirmed against him, trying to break free from his surprisingly strong grip. “I gotta get into my jammies! Sleeping in feathers is a no-no!” 

“Fine,” he grumbled, turning away and releasing me. “But only because you turn into a whiner when you’re tired.” 

 

The next morning dawned far too early and bright for my tastes. I’d gotten used to the darkness of the outpost, but the inn’s windows let plenty of sunlight in despite the curtains. At least I’d been able to sleep for more than four hours, which was a blessing in and of itself. I washed and readied myself for the day, and Iruka and I wandered down into the lobby for breakfast. There, I spotted a familiar gaggle of genin crowded around a series of round tables in a corner.

“BABY BROTHER!” 

Sasuke winced at the sheer volume of my voice, which earned curious stares from every shinobi in the room. Luckily, once they recognized who was shouting at nine in the morning, they immediately turned back to their food. Except Noboru-sensei, whose head hit the table hard enough to make his teacup jump. 

My arms went around Sasuke’s shoulders and my chin rested atop his head. “Good morning everyone. I assume you all passed?”

A chorus of ‘yes’s answered me. Good. I expected nothing less. “Have they explained what’s next? I’m officially out of the loop now. I’m just here to cheer you all on.” 

“Same as last time, one on one matches,” Kakesu answered. “We’re being given a week to rest up and do whatever training we can fit in.”

“Not sure why the wait, we know we’re going to have preliminaries,” Neji added. “There are twenty-four contestants: the four Konoha teams, two teams from Suna, and a team from Kusa.”

“They’re waiting for the dignitaries to arrive,” Iruka explained, earning him a greeting from the genin. “It’ll take that long for the daimyo and other nobles to arrive for the exam. Tsunade-sama is coming to watch you as well.” 

Sakura bounced excitedly in her chair at the prospect of her mentor see exactly how far she’d come. “We’ve been separated into our brackets already, no teammate will be fighting each other in the prelims. I think they did that on purpose, like the first exam.” 

“Probably,” I agreed. “I’m sure you’ll all do fantastic.”

“Thank you, senpai,” Lee said with a confident smile. “I promise we’ll all pass the exam or I’ll make the return trip on my hands.”

Mai smacked him lightly upside the head. “Don’t you dare.” 

 

Mai, Ryou, and I wandered about the streets of Suna, Sasuke trailing at my heels. Sakura had expressed interest in coming along, but Ino had dragged her away instead. It was nice that those two were building their friendship again. I’d been concerned that Sasuke remaining in the village would mean their rivalry would continue to grow. Somehow, it seemed Ino had given up on the fight all together. Sure, she still flirted, but Ino was the type of girl who flirted with every boy, simply because she either found it fun, or she was convinced she’d get something out of it (which she very often did). I wondered what caused the change. 

“One of the medics I worked with mentioned that we should head to the market if we want a real feel for the village,” Ryou said. “Plus, he said there’d be a lot of shade, which is good, because I have no idea when my sunscreen is gonna run out.” 

Ryou’s informant hadn’t been kidding when he said the market was shady, because the market was underground. It was built into a cave that was left over from some ancient aquifer that had long since dried out. Brilliantly colored cloths hung across the rows, what little light that peeked in from holes in the ceiling becoming colored shadows on the ground. The whole place smelled spicy sweet and I fell immediately in love. 

We passed by a stall selling those things that Kankuro brought us that first night in the bunker and I tugged everyone over. “You’ve got to try these, they’re so good.” 

We crowded together on a bench situated not far from the stand, food in hand. Unlike at the outpost where we’d eaten the gryo-like things open-faced on a plate, the vender had folded the naan in half and wrapped it in foil, making it easier to eat on the go, if far messier. 

“How did you know about these?” Ryou asked around a mouthful of veal.

I explained, “Temari packed some for Kankuro to help him make a good first impression on whatever Konoha nin ended up stuck with him for a week. We didn’t eat them like this, though, we had them open on a plate and ate them with a fork, like the food in the Land of Flowers.” 

Ryou made a small noise of understanding, stuffing his face with another mouthful of gryo. 

“It reminds me of those things Ruki-san made for my birthday,” Sasuke muttered around his food.

Beaming at him, I nodded in agreement. “That’s what I thought first time I had it too. Maybe that’s why I like them so much.” 

We wandered about the market for several more hours. Ryou bought a box of cookies with cactus fruit jam for Umeko from a middle-aged woman with a baby in a sling. Mai snatched up a battered cookbook of traditional Land of Wind food from a used-books vendor for her father. I didn’t really see anything that caught my eye, which was a shame. But we had plenty of time, more than a week; I’d come back another time. 

Sasuke, on the other hand, kept coming back to a jewelry stall. He’d stare at a small hairclip with a jeweled cactus blossom for a short while before shaking his head and walking away again. Then he’d come back, stare at a small charm of a running fennec fox, and walk away when the young woman running the shop asked him a question. Poor, shy, tsundere boy. 

“Sasuke, if you want to get your friends a gift, just get it,” I told him, slightly exasperated. 

He shuffled awkwardly, his eyes looking anywhere but at me. “You don’t think that’d be too much?”

“Sasuke, you’re talking to the person who regularly kisses people they have no romantic interest in.” I said, rolling my eyes. “Trust me, giving your friends a gift ‘just because’ is never too much.”

If I lost Sasuke for a hot minute a while later, only for him to reappear with a suspiciously pastel paper bag some time later, well…that just meant I’ve gotten better at giving advice. Because people actually listen to it now. 

 

We returned to the hotel, and not even a moment after I stepped through the door arms wrapped around me from behind. Startled, I lashed out with my elbow. The person didn’t let go, but I heard a fairly familiar voice groan. 

“Oh, shit. Kakashi?” 

More groaning. “Yep.” 

I immediately turned, pulling his head down to my shoulder and running my fingers apologetically through his hair. “I’m so sorry, you startled me. What are you doing here? I thought you were coming with Tsunade-sama.” 

“He did.”

Oh, there she was. She must have been in the lounge. It seemed odd that the Hokage would be staying in the same hotel as the rest of us, but I guess Suna wanted to keep us all together for the sake of convenience. 

“Did you honestly think we wouldn’t take advantage of the seals in place to keep from having to travel for a week straight?” Kakashi asked, his tone only mildly sarcastic.

“Thank god we didn’t,” Shizune groused. “I don’t think I could stand dealing with his whining for longer than I did.”

“Whining?” Ryou asked excitedly, an all-too-familiar shit-eating grin on his face.

“I didn’t whine,” Kakashi insisted, obviously offended by the implication.

Tsunade’s entire entourage looked at him like they couldn’t believe he was trying to convince anyone other wise. “Yes, you did.”

Wow, said in perfect sync, too. 

I smiled up at him reassuringly. “Don’t worry, ‘Kashi, I missed you, too.” 

Welp, and here comes the nuzzling. Kakashi spent too many years being raised by dogs and not enough time being raised by humans. Oh…ouch, I made myself sad just then. 

Tsunade rolled her eyes so hard it was almost audible. “You spoil him too much, Karasuno.”

Had any authority figure other than Tsunade said that, I’d be tempted to shank them. But I actually respected Tsunade. Despite her drinking and gambling, I couldn’t help but find her far more reasonable than any of the Hokage before her. “With all due respect, Hokage-sama, considering everything he’s been through, I think I spoil him just enough.” 

Understanding flashed through her eyes, the annoyance fading from her expression. “I suppose you have a point.” 

Kakashi shot Shizune a rather smug look, earning him a scowl from the tiny pig in her arms. Why she’d thought bringing Tonton into a desert was a good idea, I couldn’t fathom. Tonton would do even worse out here than Mori and Gan would, and they’re entirely black in color. 

At least she didn’t share her pig’s ire, and mostly just looked absolutely done with Kakashi. Which was fair. 

“Don’t antagonize the Hokage’s aide, please,” I pleaded. Why did I have to be the adult here? The curse of being the mom friend, I suppose. 

Tsunade sighed heavily, probably feeling as exasperated as I was. “Hatake, you’re dismissed. For now. I expect you to be ready to do your duty tomorrow morning.” 

“Of course, Hokage-sama.” 

 

The door swung shut with a barely audible click. The room was empty, Iruka having been dragged off to one last meeting with the coordinators for the Chunin exams here in Suna. Kakashi sat on the bed, running his hands over the soft sheets before realizing I hadn’t followed him farther into the room. He beckoned me closer, and I slid into place to stand between his knees. Hands settled on my hips.

“Missed you.” 

I smiled, my hands rising to rest on his jaw. “Missed you, too.” I wanted to kiss him, to greet him the way I’d greeted Iruka. It seemed only fair. But…

He could see my hesitation, I could feel it in the way his thumbs soothed circles into my hips. “What’s wrong?”

“Ah, well…” How was it he always made me so nervous? “I want to kiss you. But, I…I’m still not sure where we stand on the whole mask thing.” 

He tried to hide his chuckle, but it didn’t work very well. One hand left my hip. I watched, my breath hitching, as he reached up and slowly slip the fabric of his mask down over his nose, his lips, his chin, until nothing was left covered. 

My thumb brushed over the beauty mark just under his lip. “You’re gorgeous.”

Another chuckle. “Well, thank you.”

My lips quirked up in a sardonic smile. “Doesn’t really seem fair. You two are so pretty and I’m…”

Kakashi’s head tilt always reminded me of a curious puppy. “You’re?”

“Let’s be real, Kakashi, I’m pretty damn plain.” I always had been, even Before. Iruka was the first person to ever call me pretty and mean it, but as good as it felt for him to call me that…I had to admit I had a hard time believing him. 

Kakashi frowned, and it was weird to actually see the expression. “There you go again.”

“Excuse me?”

Hands moved from my hips to my cheeks, still somehow cold despite the desert heat. “You bounce along, happy as could be, until something happens and it’s almost like you recognize you’ve been carrying this huge weight on your shoulders and it causes you to doubt yourself. It happened in the Land of Flowers, when you thought I was mad at you for keeping secrets. Iruka told me about your little breakdowns during your first patrol mission, too. You’re so confident until you’re suddenly not.”

Shame clawed at my gut. I turned my face from him, lips brushing against the fabric of his glove. I hated how the two of them could see right through me. If they could see through my projected confidence, how long would it be before they discovered all my skeletons? 

“I can’t believe I have to convince you of this,” Kakashi sighed. “But you are anything but plain. No one would ever look at you and think that.”

My expression must have told just how much I didn’t believe him, because he kept talking, more earnest than ever. “When the sun hits it just right, your hair looks like it’s made of fire. The way you move is unearthly. Especially that time you danced for Hanako-sama. And your eyes. I have to keep myself from staring because once I see them I never want to look away. You are _stunning_. If you could only see yourself the way everyone else does you’d know.” 

I laughed, unable to do much else in the face of words like that. Tears prickled at the corner of my eyes. “Those novels really taught you how to smooth talk, huh?”

“Is it smooth talk if it’s true?” 

“I wonder,” I murmured, leaning in for a kiss. It was nice to hear those words, words that had never been spoken to me before. But…I wasn’t the pretty one, the stunning one. Kourubi was. Even still, maybe for just a few moments, I could hold onto those words and pretend they’re mine.


	29. In Which Mai Kicks Ass and I Have Many Awkward Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I'm back with another chapter. Just wanted to let you all know I'll be participating in tumblr's Naruto Week over on the MFAW blog which you can find [here](http://melodyfromanotherworld.tumblr.com). They posts are scheduled to go up every day this week around 11 am. So look forward to those. There's also a great new pic of Mai and Ryou up on the blog if you want to check that out too. Anyway, enough of my shameless self-promotion. Enjoy the chapter everybody!

The third exam, as it so happened, was to take place over several days. The first day, today, was the preliminaries. I marched with the other Konoha shinobi towards the arena, following after the Hokage. Tsunade was to formally meet the new Kazekage for the first time in the middle of the arena, surrounded by onlookers. 

My hand reached out to grasp onto Iruka’s. I wanted to hold Kakashi’s hand as well, but he was up front with Tsunade and all the genin. Instead, Ryou was on my other side, Genma beside him. Umeko had been left home with Hitomi-san, Genma reasoning that she probably wouldn’t have done well in the desert. 

“Do we know who’s fighting first?” Ryou asked, the cat ears of his hood twitching in the breeze as if they were real.

“No idea. Odds are leaning towards someone from Konoha,” Genma answered, his arm around Ryou’s shoulders. 

Iruka shrugged. “I guess we’ll find out.”

 

The arena was very different from the one in Konoha. For one, there was a roof. Or something akin to a roof. More accurately, it was a tarp-like material that covered the arena proper and attached to the stands via steel cables. The arena below us was nothing like the miniature field of Konoha’s chunin exam. Instead, it was a raised, circular ring of black tiles surrounded by a sand pit. The walls were made of the same sand-colored stone as most of the other buildings in the village. The benches were padded, unlike the ones at the arena in Konoha. Iruka, Genma, Ryou, and I all settled as close to the front as we could. We watched as Tsunade and Kakashi led the genin out onto the field. From across the way came the Suna shinobi, led out by the Kazekage in full regalia. The team from Kusagakure was led out by who I assumed their jonin instructor. Unlike the five Elemental Nations, smaller villages didn’t really have Kage. Hell, I wasn’t even sure who the leader of Kusa was, or if they even had one. 

Tsunade met the Kazekage in the middle of the field, towering over them. The Kazekage reached up to remove their hat, revealing a head of messy, brilliant red hair. A grin spread over my face.

Ryou shook my arm. “Is that?”

“Gaara!”

I stood from my seat, leaning over the railing and waving in an attempt to catch his attention. Tsunade turned towards me first, a disapproving frown on her lips. Gaara, however, smiled brilliantly when he saw me. Aaaahhhhh! I hadn’t even realized that Gaara might have already been given the position of Kazekage. I felt like bouncing, I was so giddy. 

“Sit down, pretty birdie,” Iruka teased. “I’m sure you’ll get to talk to him later. They need to start the exam now.” 

I sat heavily, only pouting a little, I swear. Tsunade and Gaara left the field together, Kakashi and Temari flanking them. A Suna jonin I didn’t know (unsurprising, considering I didn’t know very many people from Suna at all) wandered out onto the field.

“Welcome, all of you, to the Third Chunin Exam,” the jonin said, his voice amplified by some sort of jutsu or chakra trick. “We will begin with the preliminary round. Each round will be restricted to ten minutes. The first to knock out their opponent or cause a ring out will advance to the next round. If no clear winner has emerged by the ten-minute mark, both participants will be disqualified. We will begin with the match between Kumamoto Mai from Konoha and Hino Sho from Suna.”

I stiffened in my seat. Again? Mai had to fight this fucking napalm-using asshole again?! I could only hope that Mai had become strong enough in the last year or so that she could take him out before he could use his napalm technique. Movement on my right caught my eye, and I glanced over to see Ryou’s knee bouncing anxiously as he gripped Genma’s hand in his own. Ah, that’s right; Ryou probably suffered more when Mai last fought Sho than I did. Ryou was the medic, the one who was supposed to help us when we were hurting. But he’d only been studying medicine in a practical way for about a year when the chunin exams happened. He hadn’t been able to help Mai, and that’s always what scared him the most. 

The other genin cleared off the field fairly quickly, Sasuke and Sakura hesitating for only a moment before Mai shooed them off. Her gauntlets glinted in the sun as she slid casually into a fighting stance. Sho shifted nervously, his hand reaching towards his shuriken pouch. 

The proctor called for the match to begin and Sho had shuriken flying even before the proctor cleared the field. Mai threw herself to the side, rolling gracefully back into a crouching position and rocketing forward with speed that I’d never seen her reach before. She disappeared from view, reappearing not even a second later behind Sho. He went flying across the arena and it was only after Mai stopped moving that I realized that she’d kicked in him the back of the head. She stood stock still on one foot, her knee still up from kicking Sho. The amount of control she had to have over her body to remain so completely still in that position was honestly ridiculous if you thought about it. Then again, she’d been training with Gai-sensei ever since her injuries healed. 

She slowly lowered her foot back to the ground as Sho struggled to stand. The moment her foot touched the black tile, she was gone again, disappearing in a blur of purple and reflective metal. Sho went flying again, back across the arena. Mai froze in her attack pose again, arm extended in the perfect form of a punch. I could see blood dripping from Sho’s head. 

The Third Exam was built to give possible clients a show of the village’s best and brightest young shinobi. And Mai’s constant back and forth between too-fast-to-see and slow as molasses movements certainly put on a show. She pulled her fist back towards her torso, the slow movement highlighting the flexing and relaxing of the muscles of her arms and shoulders. She waited for Sho to stand once again before moving. She swept his feet out from under him, not bothering to pause before slamming her elbow down into his stomach. You could only barely hear Sho’s groaning over the shouts of the rowdier parts of the audience. They went silent, however, when Mai bent down to grab Sho’s collar and drag him back up to face her.

“Do you remember me?” she asked him, voice cold and sharp. Sho looked at her like she was crazy. “Maybe you remember my burns, then. You should, you gave them to me. Almost ended my career, you know. If the fire had burned just a little bit longer, it might have killed my tendons, made it near impossible to move without extreme pain. And you smiled when you did it, like a kid burning ants with a magnifying glass. Is that what we are to you? Ants? 

“I was almost upset when it turned out that Kourubi hadn’t ended your pathetic life during the exam last year,” Mai continued, dropping Sho to the ground. “But now, I’m actually kind of glad. Now I get to show you what it looks like when you mess with a bear instead of an ant. Don’t worry, my moves don’t leave the same kind of scars yours do.”

Mai spun on her toes, the heel of her other foot lashing out and slamming into Sho’s jaw. He rocketed out of the ring and into the wall of the arena, just under the daimyo boxes. The nobles screamed as cracks formed in the wall, but the structure didn’t crumble. Mai inhaled deeply, raising her arms. And then, as if pushing the breath from her body, she exhaled in time with the slow fall of her hands. She looked to the proctor expectantly.

“The winner is Kumamoto Mai of Konohagakure.” 

Ryou and I jumped to our feet, screaming in triumph. From some rows behind us, we heard Noboru-sensei and Gai’s voices join us in celebration. Iruka and Genma cheered as well, if with significantly less enthusiasm. 

“The next match will be Akimichi Chouji and…”

“I’m gonna run to the restroom real quick,” I told Ryou. “Tell me how it turns out when I get back, okay?” 

Ryou nodded, waving me off. I climbed up the stairs towards the vomitorium that led back into the walls of the arena, waving at Noboru-sensei and Gai as I passed. Hayate was hanging out in the entryway to the stands with Raido, Izumo, and Kotetsu, the later two apparently only barely paying attention to the match going on. I smiled at them as I passed. 

“That friend of yours is pretty impressive,” Raido mentioned, catching my attention. 

Kotetsu snorted. “If by impressive you mean scary.”

Izumo smacked him on the chest. “Don’t be rude.”

“No, he’s right,” I said with the scariest smile I could. “Mai’s a monster. But so is everyone on Team 3.” 

I left without another word; reveling in the terror I felt rolling off Izumo and Kotetsu in waves. Those two were just too much fun to mess with. And I didn’t even have to exaggerate. We were monsters. The world was lucky we were on the good side. 

I traveled down the long hallway that led towards the restrooms, hearing the muffled cheers of the crowd through the stone walls. The lights flickered rather ominously. 

“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!”

I jumped out of my skin when between one of those flickers, an ANBU in a cat mask appeared before me. The very same ANBU that had carted Kakashi off to Tsunade’s office when he was informed that he’d be part of her security detail. What was he doing here? Well, obviously he was also part of Tsunade’s security, but why had he revealed himself to me? While there was always the general understanding that the ANBU followed Tsunade everywhere, no one other than Tsunade was actually supposed to know they were there. 

“Can I help you?” I asked cautiously, my heart still thundering from the scare.

“Who are you to Kakashi-senpai?”

What? The hell was that supposed to mean? Wait…there was only one person in canon who called Kakashi ‘senpai’. Yamato? Was that you?

“Who are you to Kakashi-senpai?” the ANBU asked again.

I took a breath to calm myself, to keep my voice from shaking, and locked eyes as best I could given the mask kept me from actually seeing the ANBU’s eyes. “Not that it’s really any of your business, ANBU-san, but I’m someone who loves him very much.” 

The ANBU stared me down, which given that I couldn’t see his eyes behind his mask was rather unsettling. He made no moves, but I still felt like I couldn’t just walk around him. Dammit, I was really starting to need to pee.

“Is Tenzo bothering you, Kou-chan?”

I turned behind me to find Kakashi standing there, his gaze cold as it held the ANBU, Tenzo, in place. 

“Not bothering so much as asking odd questions,” I explained as Kakashi came to stand at my side, a possessive hand going to my waist. “Shouldn’t you both be with Tsunade-sama?”

“No worries, I left a kagebunshin,” Kakashi explained casually, glancing my way with a smile before turning his cold gaze back to Tenzo. “Tenzo disappeared suddenly so I figured I’d come see what was wrong. Looks like it was nothing.”

The stiffness left Tenzo’s shoulders. “You really shouldn’t out active ANBU like that, senpai.”

“And you shouldn’t bother people’s lovers, kohai,” Kakashi said, a teasing lilt to his voice. I sighed, happy that the tension was gone. 

“Jeez,” I grumbled. “All I wanted to do was go pee, but instead I get scared to death by your jealous ex.”

“Not an ex,” Kakashi corrected gently. “Kou-chan, this in Tenzo. We met when we were younger.”

“Sure acted like an ex,” I argued. I looked Tenzo’s way. The poor man was just sort of standing awkwardly, obviously unsure what to do. “It’s very nice to meet you, Tenzo-san. But seriously, not the best first impression.” 

“I do apologize for that. But…Kakashi-senpai has gone through a lot of pain. I could only hope you would not be a new source of it for him.”

I smiled, reaching out to wrap an arm around Kakashi. “I don’t plan on it.” 

Tenzo nodded, and there was a long moment of awkward silence.

“Can I please go to the restroom now?”

 

Kakashi sent me off with a peck on the cheek and I managed to reach the restroom without another incident. There was someone in one of the stalls already when I arrived, which always made this more awkward in my opinion. I did my business as quickly as I could, coming out of the stall to find a familiar head of carmine red hair at the sinks.

“Kiui-san?” 

Dark eyes shot me a glance over her shoulder. “Ah, hello, hime.”

I stepped up to the sinks, washing my hands quickly. “I hadn’t realized you were coming to Suna. Were you part of the medical team?”

Kiui nodded, the grey feathers in her hair bouncing with the movement. 

“Aren’t you a diagnostician? Seems strange to drag you out to Suna.”

She shrugged. “Suna and Kusa use a lot of poisons. Because of my training, I’m able to quickly assess what poison has been used and, as such, which antidote to administer.”

“Oh,” I said weakly. “I see.” 

“I’m also pretty quick on figuring out what bones are broken and what organs are ruptured,” she continued clinically. She shook the excess water from her hands and turned to me with only the slightest smirks. “That friend of yours broke her opponent’s spine in three places. He also had five broken ribs, one of which nearly punctured his lung, possible temporary vocal chord paralysis, a broken jaw, and brain trauma.”

“Yeah, Mai does that.” 

Kiui walked towards the door. “I’m just glad I never had to deal with that kind of shit. Take my advice, hime; the moment they offer you a cushy, in-village job, take it.” 

I stared after her, unsure what the hell that whole conversation was about. I mean, I knew about her mother, knew what kind of hurt that had to cause. But even with all the orphans among the shinobi force, I’d never once met someone who had been so…dismissive. That kind of attitude just didn’t seem to happen in the hidden villages. Usually it was the opposite way around, those who stayed in the village were looked down upon as lazy desk jockeys. Jingoistic patriotism was almost the norm, and those who left their villages for whatever reason were branded criminals. 

Hell, Itachi chose the village over his entire clan. 

Even I, who held no love for the people of Konoha beyond my clan, my friends, and my lovers, still willingly, and sometimes even eagerly, went on missions. Taking a ‘cushy, in-village’ job seemed…a waste. At least for me. Iruka was at his best working with his students. Genma and Ryou both benefited from their ‘cushy’ jobs, but they had a young child to think about.

I shook my head, reaching for the paper towels. There I went, letting things get to me again. Iruka mentioned that every chunin and jonin spent a few months doing in-village work. If I happened to find something I liked more than going out on missions with my friends, then I’d do that. Until I found that thing, I’d just keep doing what I was doing. 

 

“Jeez, took you long enough,” Ryou groused when I finally got back. “You missed three fights. Chouji won against the Kusa ninja he was fighting. Kiba and some girl from Sand fought, Kiba won. And right before you got back Ino won against another Kusa shinobi.”

“Ah, sorry about that,” I apologized. “I ran into a few roadblocks on my way to the restroom.” 

“Meh, whatever, you got back just in time for Sakura’s fight. She’s up against Tenten. This will be interesting, the first fight between two genin from the same village.” 

This had the potential to be a pretty interesting fight. Sakura was very much a close range fighter with her chakra enhanced strength and medical ninjutsu. Tenten, on the other hand, was a mid-range fighter who relied almost exclusively on weapons and her ability to manipulate them. If Sakura let Tenten summon her weapons, it was likely she wouldn’t be able to get a hit in on her. 

Sakura and Tenten faced each other from across the ring. The proctor called for the match to begin. Tenten made the first move, tossing a handful of shuriken in Sakura’s direction. Sakura was a blur of pink, dodging and ducking Tenten’s projectiles with visible effort. Sakura wasn’t terribly fast, nor did she have a whole lot of physical stamina. She was able to fight Ino to a standstill a year ago, but Ino had been at the same level of physical strength as her. Tenten was on a team that prioritized taijutsu and physical fitness. Sakura could not win the long game against Tenten. 

Then Sakura melted into the ground.

What?!

Since when did Sakura know elemental jutsu like that? She never used earth jutsu or any elemental jutsu in canon. She wasn’t even supposed to learn her elemental affinity until Naruto got back. 

When had she learned that?

Tenten, to her credit, kept a level head. She pulled out two kunai of an almost ridiculous size, bouncing all over the arena. She was probably expecting Sakura to pop up and pull her into the ground, like Kakashi had done to Sasuke during their first training exercise. If she kept moving, Sakura should, in theory, be unable to find her. Hard to see when you’re under ground after all. 

Tenten touched down right where Sakura had been not a moment earlier, hands still tightly clenched around her weapons. Suddenly, Sakura erupted from the ground, her hands glowing medical green. She slapped Tenten where her back met her shoulders. She must have messed with the nerve endings somehow, because Tenten immediately dropped her weapons. She bounded away, her arms dangling uselessly at her side. It…was unnerving to see. 

Tenten frowned, weighing her options. She wasn’t in a good position. Her whole fighting style relied on her being able to use her arms. You couldn’t really throw weapons with your feet. Not without some weirdly specific training anyway. 

“I give.”

I couldn’t help but feel bad for Tenten. This was the second time she’d gotten knocked out in the prelims. Last time was just a bad match up. This time Sakura had far more tricks up her sleeve than anyone had anticipated. 

Sakura hurried Tenten off the field, healing her even before they left the arena. 

“The next match,” The proctor announced, “Will be Uchiha Sasuke of Konoha and Hiraku of Suna.” 

Ah, the kid I fought last time during the preliminaries. I had no doubt Sasuke would deal with him easily. Ryou seemed to be of the same opinion, because for the first time today he seemed perfectly relaxed. 

I felt my chest swell with pride as Sasuke strode out onto the field in full Karasuno regalia. The tails of his coat fluttered in the wind the country was named for, his arm guards glinted in the sun. He only brought his katana with him, which wasn’t unusual. He much preferred the power behind the long blade kenjutsu style to anything else. His arms were certainly showing the results of such training. Maybe I should get Kasasagi to make some shirts for Sasuke that had sleeves…otherwise that fan club of his was only going to get bigger. 

The two of them settled on opposite sides of the arena, hands twitching towards the handles of their katana. The proctor stepped up to start the match, but didn’t get the chance.

Instead, an explosion went off above us, the steel cables that held the tarp over the arena snapping. The tarp went flying in the wind, revealing a literal army of Oto ninja standing above us.

A woman, the only one not masked, shouted down at us, “Sasuke-chan! It’s time for you to join Orochimaru-sama now!”

I flickered into the ring, leaving my training weights behind in the stands and you would not believe how liberating that felt. I placed myself in front of Sasuke, blocking the woman’s view of him, meeting her pale green eyes evenly.

“Over my dead body.”


	30. In Which I Play A Requiem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello, I'm back! And AHHHHH MFAW recently reached 100 public bookmarks! Guys! Thank you! I also recently transferred over the naruto week drabbles from tumblr to ao3, so if you want to see me write a bunch of short fluff, there's that. Anyway, thanks for all your support. On with the chapter!

The woman stared down at me, disgust in her pale green eyes despite the rather disturbing way her smile stayed in place. Her white hair whipped about in the wind, but she paid it no mind. “Oh no, Doki-chan said she’d bring Orochimaru-sama Sasuke-chan, and Doki-chan is going to keep her promise.”

Doki? As in dokidoki? As in her kokoro had the dokidokis? What the fuck was my life? Also why the hell was she referring to herself in the third person? Was that supposed to be cutesy or something? 

“Well, Orochimaru is just going to have to be disappointed,” I shot back. “Because Sasuke’s not going anywhere with you.”

Doki’s shimmery lips twisted into a nasty smirk. “We’ll see.”

She snapped her fingers and her army swarmed the stadium. Where was Orochimaru getting all these followers? One stupidly brave ninja charged right at me, kunai in hand. My hand went to my katana.

The ninja went down before either of us could attack, an arrow through his neck. My eyes shot to the stands where Iruka was standing at the railing, bow in hand and a fierce look on his face. Where he’d pulled the bow from, I had no idea, but I didn’t have time to dwell. Sasuke and I ended up back-to-back, katana drawn and ready for the wave of Oto ninja that descended upon us. 

Again, another ninja intervened before I had the chance to fight. An ANBU with a bird mask, two tanto in her hands, and dark hair pulled up in a tight ponytail and…

And black feathers tucked into her hair. 

“Shouldn’t you be with Tsunade-sama, Kamome?” I asked, turning to cut down a different Oto ninja.

Kamome stiffened, but didn’t respond. Well, now I definitely knew it was her. 

“The feathers give it away,” I explained. 

She huffed. “Tsunade-sama has plenty of security. My priority is you, hime.” 

“If you say so.”

A burst of heavy, sharp chakra came from the tunnel that led back into the genin’s waiting room and the medical station, causing a brief pause in the attack. My jaw dropped when I saw Kiui marching out, carmine hair billowing out behind her, tanto in hand. Behind her came the genin, exploding out of the tunnel like water from a burst pipe. Every able bodied genin from Konoha, Suna, and Kusa charged into the waiting army. I didn’t think the Oto ninja expected the genin to fight, as they seemed to hesitate, to panic. 

That was their first mistake.

Their second mistake was not realizing that the new Kazekage had the power to control sand.

Sand surged up from the pit that surrounded the ring, catching many Oto ninja by surprise. Gaara descended to the ring on a cloud of sand, Kakashi, Temari, and Tsunade with him. With a small twitch of his hand, some two dozen ninja were crushed. 

“You know,” Kiui shouted at Kamome as she hacked and slashed her way through the Oto ninja, “I became a doctor so I wouldn’t have to deal with this bullshit!”

“Well, looks like it’s a good thing Ruki-oba-san taught you kenjutsu anyway,” Kamome shot back, not even batting an eye as she slit an enemy’s throat. 

“Less talking, more fighting, girls,” Tsunade chided, punching someone into the stratosphere. 

“Yes, Hokage-sama.”

Kakashi joined Sasuke and I at the center of it all, Iruka’s arrows still raining down on anyone who tried to get too close to me. He’d run out soon, I was sure. I didn’t know where Ryou and Genma, or Noboru-sensei and Gai were, but I was sure they were fine. They’d better be fine. 

“No, no, NO!” Oh, Doki was mad. Doki was very mad, indeed. She jumped down from the top of the arena, landing in the middle of the chaos and stalked towards me, throwing off any shinobi that dared to get in her way, even her own. “Doki-chan is going to take Sasuke-chan to Orochimaru-sama and Orochimaru-sama is going to reward Doki-chan and YOU WILL NOT STOP ME!”

Music spilled over my skin, called forth without the need for hand signs. I sheathed my katana, much to Sasuke’s very vocal dismay. 

“What are you doing?” he shouted, Sharingan spinning wildly.

“Trust me,” I called back. “I got this.”

_I've been searching for you since your past-past-past life—_   
_Setting my sights on that awkward smile, I made it to where I am now._   
_Even if you were to lose everything and be scattered to the winds, I'll never lose my way again –_   
_I'll just start searching again from step 1-_   
_Or maybe I should start the whole universe again from zero?_

My hands shook with the vibrations. I had to think fast. Bones were inflexible, brittle. Doki kicked out at me with what I quickly realized were bladed geta. I ducked back, bending at an angle that would have been impossible for me Before, her geta sailing over me. As she made to try for another kick, I righted myself, hand flying up to slap against her calf muscle. I pushed a single note of the sharp, hard bass line into her leg. 

She screamed. And I could see some of the bone protruding from her skin. Ugh. Focus. Don’t get sick now. 

Organs…organs were soft, fleshy, and delicate. Maybe they would require more vibration, something like the melody. Something to fill the hollow bits and expand until it ruptured. 

Doki stumbled back, unable to properly hold herself up. She leaned heavily on her uninjured leg. Her hands ran through a long series of hand signs, ending on tiger. Fire jutsu. I shot forward, the vibrations from my hand changing, becoming more frequent, closer to the melody of the song. I liked this song. It felt like it was made for me. Doki inhaled.

_Once we're both here, on the night before our revolution, who could possibly stop us?_   
_I'll never lose my way again - I'll hoist this flag from within your heart;_   
_You stole from me my ability to ever give up!_

My hand barely even touched Doki’s stomach. But I could feel the vibrations dig deep into her abdomen. I could feel it. Something broke. Something failed to hold up.

She retched, fire jutsu extinguished before it could even be used. Blood dripped from her mouth onto my arm. She stumbled back. She stared at me, eyes wide in shock. She collapsed. 

There was a long moment of silence. The rest of the enemy ninja fled, unwilling to risk their lives now that their leader was defeated. Doki was abandoned, left in the middle of the ring. Kiui stalked forward, tucking the tanto back into the sleeve of her white lab coat. She bent over Doki, observing her for a short moment.

“She’s not dead,” Kiui informed us. “But she will be in a short while if we don’t do something. Hokage-sama?” She turned to Tsunade expectantly. 

Tsunade frowned. “Take her into custody. Have her healed. Maybe if we show her enough mercy she’ll be willing to spill a few secrets.”

“And if she doesn’t?” Kamome asked even as other ANBU were carting Doki off.

Tsunade shrugged. “Then maybe she’ll be worth something as a bargaining chip.” 

A hand settled on my hip, pulling me to lean back against Kakashi’s chest. I sighed, closing my eyes and relaxing against him. Another crisis averted. How many more times would Orochimaru’s men come for Sasuke? I hadn’t anticipated them trying again after the failure of the Sound Four. 

“So, what do you call that new little trick of yours?” Kakashi asked, his voice smooth and calming. 

Well, there was really only one thing I could call it, wasn’t there? “Requiem.” 

“Requiem?” he echoed, tasting the word on his tongue.

“A musical composition associated with death, dying, and mourning,” I explained. “I kill them with the music’s vibrations. Therefore, the song is a requiem.”

“But you didn’t kill her,” Sasuke reminded me as he cleaned the blood off his katana. 

“That has more to do with my aim than my intent. She tried to take you away from me. As far as I’m concerned, doing that buys you a one way ticket to hell if I can manage it.” 

Sasuke looked surprised, which I couldn’t quite understand. Had…had I not made it obvious before that I’d literally kill for him? He shuffled awkwardly, and I waited to see what he would do. And what he did was quickly step forward to rest his forehead on my shoulder in as close to a hug he had ever initiated. I gave a little half laugh and reach up to ruffle at his hair. 

“Room for one more?”

I looked up to see Iruka, bow slung over his back. Reaching out, I pulled him into the group hug, or whatever it was we were doing. 

“Yo! Anyone injured?” Ah, there was Ryou.

“Nothing major,” Kiba informed him. “Couple cuts and bruises. I think Tenten dislocated her shoulder but…”

“Dammit, Tenten, I just fixed that!” Sakura’s been spending too much time with Ryou. 

Sasuke slipped away to get his own wounds checked on. The fight had been so fast, and so many people had stepped in to keep me from getting injured that I was mostly unscathed. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. On one hand, it was nice to be looked after, and I certainly didn’t like getting injured (my pain tolerance had never been all that high). But then again, I was perfectly capable of fighting for myself. I wondered if this was how Tsunade and Hiruzen felt. 

A shriek pulled me from my thoughts. I whirled in the direction of the sound, catching sight of a rogue Oto shinobi catching Sasuke about the waist in one last attempt to cart him off to Orochimaru. 

_**“NO!”** _

The burst of chakra that launched me forward surprised even me. The Oto ninja had just enough time to thrust a kunai in my direction before my fist connected with his nose. At the same time, Mai and Sakura landed their own, much stronger blows on the enemy, Sakura’s fist connecting with his temple and Mai’s heel slamming into his lower spine. Sasuke slipped from the man’s loosened grip, darting back to Kakashi and Iruka’s side. 

“When. Will. You. Mother. Fuckers. Learn. Not. To. Touch. My. Baby. Brother!” Each and every growled word that left my mouth was punctuated with a kick to the downed man’s slumped form. 

“Kourubi!” Mai pulled me off the (possibly dead) man. “That’s enough. I don’t think he can even feel those kicks anymore. Besides, you’re bleeding.”

What? Oh. Oh, there was the pain. I looked down to see the kunai that the Oto shinobi had thrust in my direction still stuck in the palm of my left hand. 

“Fffffuuuuucccckkkk! That hurts!”

“You’re just now feeling it?” Ryou asked incredulously as he marched over to inspect the damage.

I let him poke and prod at the wound with a wince. “Honestly, the anger blinded me – OW! – to the fact he’d even stabbed me.” 

Ryou stared at me blankly. “You’re insane.” 

And then he yanked the kunai from my hand.

“FUCKING OW!” I shrieked. “You have terrible bedside manner.”

“So does every medic in Konoha,” Ryou informed me tersely.

“Why do you think I avoid the hospital at all costs?” Kakashi called from the other side of the field.

“Considering how often you’re actually there, I’m starting to think you’re a masochist!” I shouted back, letting Ryou’s healing chakra close up the hole in my hand.

A pouting Kakashi is the cutest Kakashi. Fight me. 

Ryou smacked me upside the head. “Next time you go supersonic on an enemy, try not to catch their kunai in your flesh.” 

I blinked at him. “Did I actually go supersonic?”

“Almost.” Oh, hello, Noboru-sensei. “There wasn’t a sonic boom, but you might have gone faster than Gai on a good day there.” 

Oh.

“So basically, if we ever need Konoha to win a foot race, we pretend someone’s kidnapped Sasuke and is at the finish line,” Mai joked, ruffling Sasuke’s hair. 

“So what do we do, Gaara?” Temari asked, pulling our attention her way. “It would seem strange to continue the Chunin Exams now.”

Gaara and Tsunade shared a look. I really needed to learn how to do those conversations in a look, because they smiled in understanding at each other after only a few seconds of shared eye contact.

“I say,” Gaara announced, “That all genin who helped fight off the invaders shall be promoted to the rank of Chunin.” 

The genin – no, chunin – on the field cheered and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Mai asked, a grin on her face. 

I smirked at her. “Sho didn’t fight.”

Mai’s eyes went wide as the realization dawned on her and then she burst into bitter, triumphant laughter. “Eat shit, Sho!”

“Considering his broken jaw, it’d be more like ‘drink shit’ right now,” I corrected.

“Even better!” 

 

“Ne, Iruka?”

After Gaara and Tsunade had decided that pretty much everyone was going to be promoted, they dismissed us back to the hotels to rest while they did whatever preparations they needed. My boys and I ended up back in our room, lounging on the bed because what else did you expect us to do in this stupid heat.

“Hmmm?”

“Where did you pull your bow from?” I asked. “You didn’t have it on you when we got to the arena.”

Iruka smiled a little sheepishly and scooted closer to Kakashi and I, rolling up his sleeve as he went.

“I pulled it from this.”

Along his inner forearm was, in bold, black ink, was an arrow. 

“Holy shit, is that a seal?” I grabbed his arm, tugging him closer rather forcefully. “Did you put a storage seal on you?” Iruka was so unassuming most of the time that it was pretty easy to forget he was actually kind of amazing when it came to seals and barriers.

“Yeah,” Iruka admitted. “Took a lot of work, but it’s easier than carrying my bow around everywhere and this way I won’t loose it and it can’t get stolen like a scroll might.”

“It’s kinda sexy.”

Red spread across his cheeks. “R-really?”

“Well, I mean, you’re always sexy, but this certainly helps.” 

“Oh.” More red, all the way up to his ears. He pulled his arm back, his hands fiddling with the fabric of the sheets. “Well…thank you. You’re pretty sexy too.”

“Pssssssh, no I’m not. I’m way more likely to believe I’m pretty than sexy.” I kept my tone as light and playful as possible, hoping they’d let the conversation drop.

They did not, in fact, let the conversation drop. 

“Now see here,” Kakashi drawled, grabbing me about the waist as I tried to escape and pulling me back down onto the mattress. “I’ll have you know that you are very sexy and very pretty.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, please. Name one sexy thing about me.”

“Personality or physical?”

“Uhhh…both?”

Kakashi squeezed me about the middle playfully. “Oh?” Shit, his mouth was right next to my ear. Aaaaahhhhhhh! “Fishing for compliments, are we?”

And the moment was lost. “Pfft, no. I just don’t think the two of you can find two things that are sexy about me.”

“Challenge accepted. Iruka, you first.”

“Huh?! Don’t put me on the spot like that!” Oooh, pouting Iruka was just as cute as pouting Kakashi. Good to know. 

“Can’t find something?” I asked, maybe a little smug.

“No! I’m just having a hard time deciding.”

Shit, now my face was red. Damn him and his adorable earnestness. 

“Well, then I’ll go first,” Kakashi announced. 

Iruka glared at him. “You should have done so in the first place!” 

Kakashi ignored him. “I like your legs.” I squeaked at the low, rumbling sound of his voice in my ear and the feel of his cool hands skirting the edge of my shorts. Goosebumps broke out over my thighs at his touch and my face became even warmer. “They’re so long, and you give us such a nice view with these tight shorts of yours. And your thighs.” He hummed, and I’d never heard such a simple noise sound so damn lewd before. “I love that they’re thick enough that I can really dig my fingers into them.” 

“YOU HAVE NEVER-!”

“No,” he agreed. “But I want to.”

“Okay!” I peeped, hands flying up to hide my face. “I think we’re done here!” 

“Oh, no we’re not.” Dammit Iruka, I wanted you to be on my side! “You’ve given us something to prove. Besides, I finally decided.” Hands were in my hair. I peeked though my fingers to find Iruka’s face right there. Oh, god. “I love your hair. It’s thicker than it looks, and it’s so soft. I love touching it.”

His hands did always seem to find their way into my hair when we were kissing, especially when it went beyond the chaste pecks that I handed out like candy on Halloween.

“Kakashi says the sun makes it look like fire,” I murmured, remembering the conversation from a week ago.

Ah! There was my favorite smile. “It does! Especially when the wind blows through it. There’s a red undertone to it or something that you can only see when the sun hits it just right. I’m forever grateful that you keep forgetting to cut it.”

“Yeah, well, can’t look like a child forever,” I muttered. “Gotta look like an actual adult if I’m gonna be clan head.” 

Iruka hummed in acknowledgement, but decided to move on instead of commenting on what I’d said. “I like how affectionate you are. I don’t know what it is, but something about how you’re just so open with your feelings and willing to share them physically is sexy to me. Especially since I know that you keep the best stuff just for me.”

“A-hem.”

“And Kakashi.”

“Thank you.”

I snorted. “Fucking dorks. Both of you.” 

Kakashi’s arms wrapped around my middle again, giving me a squeeze. “You love us.”

“Somehow.”

“As for me,” Kakashi drawled. “I think the sexiest part is that determined, righteous anger of yours.”

“You would think bitterness and reckless, destructive tendencies are sexy, you masochist,” I grumbled. 

“You sell yourself short,” he murmured, his voice suddenly, frighteningly sincere. “Your anger is bitter and reckless, yes, but it’s bitter and reckless because you’re angered by inaction and wrongs you want to right. I can’t think of another anger more admirable, or sexy. Plus, I like the spark it puts in your eyes. You know how much I love your eyes.” 

“You’ve mentioned…” I let my hands fall from my face, my gaze going to the sheets to keep from meeting their eyes. “God, what did I do to deserve you?”

“What makes you think you had to do anything?”

Oh! No! No no no! Don’t cry! Don’t cry! Nonononononono. Shit, god fucking dammit, I’m crying. Fuck me and my overactive tear ducts. God, why am I like this?

Hands cupped my face as soft voices shushed me quietly. “Come on, it’s okay. We didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“Just let it out, pretty birdie.” 

“F-fuck you. People shouldn’t be allowed to be this fucking perfect,” I snapped half-heartedly, sniffling loudly. 

“We’re hardly perfect, Kou-chan,” Kakashi soothed, nudging at the bit of my neck just behind my ear with his nose. 

“You are to me.”

Iruka chuckled at that. “Well, if we’re perfect to you, and you’re perfect to us, then it seems we’re at an impasse. No matter how much you try to tell us you’re not pretty or sexy, or whatever you feel like you’re not, we won’t believe you.” 

“Fine. But the next time Kakashi tries to convince me he’s an awful person, or you try to tell me you’re not strong enough, I won’t believe you either.”

Two sets of lips pressed against my temples. “Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs Featured 
> 
> [Zenzenzense by the Radwimps](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDSkFeMVNFs)  
> [English lyrics here](http://www.lyrical-nonsense.com/lyrics/radwimps/zen-zen-zense/#English)   
> (Seriously, read the lyrics. I swear this is Kourubi's theme song)
> 
> [Iruka's seal tattoo](http://tattooblend.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/arrow-tattoo-design-6.jpg?x26891)


	31. In Which Prizes are Won

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, everybody, the Chunin Exam arc is officially over. Now everyone gets to move on to bigger and better things. BUT FIRST! Fluffy filler chapters full of fun and games. Enjoy.

We gathered in the Kazekage’s office later that evening, the whole space buzzing with excitement. Technically, I shouldn’t be there. This was just for the genin and their sensei, but Ryou and I slipped in past Gaara’s guards anyway. Like hell we were going to miss Mai getting promoted. We stood behind her with Noboru-sensei, facing Tsunade who stood in front of Gaara’s vest-lined desk. 

“Congratulations, all of you,” Tsunade said with a smile. “There’s no doubt in my mind that you’ve all earned this. But be aware, the road only gets rougher from here. A chunin is a leader, a full-fledged soldier of Konoha. There’s no shame in refusing the promotion if you feel you aren’t ready.”

“With all due respect, Hokage-sama,” Kiba said with a wild grin on his face, “If you’re trying to psych us out, you’re doing a terrible job.” 

Tsunade rolled her eyes. “Very well.” She turned and picked up stack of vests. “If your jonin instructors will come forward…”

Noboru-sensei stepped around us and walked forward, taking a single chunin flak vest from Tsunade. Kakashi and the others followed in short order, each taking several more vests than sensei did. Sensei turned back to Mai, who stood by almost patiently, the way she clenched her hands behind her back giving away her impatience. 

“May I?” he asked, holding up the vest for her to see.

Mai smiled and nodded, holding up her arms. Sensei slipped the vest on her, letting it hang open like how he wore his. He looked close to tears, finally seeing all his students reach chunin. Might have been a better view for him if Ryou and I actually wore our vests, but he didn’t seem to hung up about it.

“Is it a good look for me?” Mai asked playfully.

Noboru-sensei nodded, and for a moment I thought his eyes were getting watery. “The best look.”

I glanced over to watch Kakashi set Sasuke’s vest on his shoulders, not quite putting it on like Noboru-sensei had done for Mai, but close enough for it to have the same feeling. He tugged it on properly, hands rubbing over the stiff material. He turned to me, trying to hide how happy he was but he ended up smiling anyway. I smiled back, reaching over to give his hand a squeeze. It was odd to see him in the vest. As far as I knew, Sasuke never took another chunin exam in the story, never officially made it past genin. This…everything was already so different from how it was supposed to go.

“Now, I expect all of you to fill out the proper paperwork once we get back to Konoha,” Tsunade stated. “We’ll be leaving bright and early tomorrow morning, so don’t even think about spending the whole night celebrating. You can do that back home, where you aren’t likely to cause an international incident.” 

Groaning rose up from the ranks, and I stifled my giggles as much as possible.

Tsunade ignored the bellyaching. “Any questions?”

Seeing my chance, I raised my hand like a child in school, catching Tsunade’s eye. “What, Karasuno?”

“Can I hug the Kazekage now?” I asked, shit-eating grin that rivaled Ryou’s on my face. Tsunade shot me an ‘are you kidding me’ look while the former genin snickered around me. Gaara smiled shyly from his position behind his desk, and I immediately grinned more honestly in response. “Come here, Sleepyhead! I’ve been wanting to do this since I got here.” 

Gaara looked at Tsunade as if seeking permission. She rolled her eyes, but made no move to tell either of us no. He walked around his desk, moving a little faster as he passed Tsunade as if worried she’d change her mind and stop him. I tugged him into my arms, noticing with barely hidden delight that his skin didn’t have the same grainy texture as last time. He wasn’t wearing his shell. 

“I’m so proud of you!” I cheered, squeezing him tightly and lifting him off his feet. “Hell. I’m proud of all of you. Everybody get’s a hug! Lee, grab Neji, he’s joining in whether he likes it or not.” 

And that’s how I found myself surrounded my newly minted chunin in the largest group hug ever while squeezing the life out of the Kazekage. 

My life is fucking weird. And I love it.

 

Tsunade hadn’t lied when she said we were leaving bright and early. We were eating mere moments after the sun had risen and were filing out of the village towards the closest teleportation seal not an hour later. Gaara and his siblings came to see us off and I snuck one last hug from him before being dragged off by Kiui. Spoilsport. 

A pair of Suna shinobi sent us through in groups of ten, the largest group they felt safe teleporting at once. I latched on to Iruka and Kakashi as we waited our turn. Sasuke and Sakura went through with Mai and a few older chunin, including Kotetsu and Izumo. I held my breath as I watched them disappear. The seals were perfectly safe. I knew that. But that didn’t make me any less nervous. 

I was significantly less sick this time through. Even still, I stumbled when we landed, falling into Iruka. 

“Sorry,” I muttered. “I’m no good with these things.” I missed planes. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he soothed, brushing my fringe out of my face. 

Sasuke was waiting for us at the edge of the seal with Sakura. “We’re going to the tower to fill out that paper work Tsunade told us about with the others. Hopefully we’ll be back for dinner.”

I nodded, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I’ll be waiting. Don’t take too long or tou-san and kaa-san will think something went wrong.” 

“I better go with them,” Kakashi sighed. “Make sure they get it done in a timely fashion.”

“You? Get paperwork done in a timely fashion?” Iruka mocked. “Who are you and what have you done with Hatake Kakashi?”

“I have to fill my good example quota at some point.” Kakashi joked and then turned to place a kiss on my cheek. “We’ll be back soon.”

“Not too soon I hope,” I said to myself as they wandered off. Iruka shot me a curious look, to which I responded with a smile. 

We returned to the clan compound, Kiui and Kamome not far behind. Kakesu had returned earlier with Asuma and his team, so he was likely already filling out paperwork. I called for Mori and Gan, who cawed excitedly upon realizing I was back. And that led to practically every crow in the compound to stir up a ruckus. Well…now everyone knew I was home. 

“Ne, you two. I have a favor to ask.” 

 

When Sasuke and Kakashi returned, they found me in the audience room, flanked by tou-san and kaa-san, with a white cloth sitting in front of me. His dark eyes went wide, obviously realizing what was going on.

“Sit, baby brother,” I ordered gently. 

He didn’t so much sit as fall on his ass, as if unable to comprehend that what was happening was really happening. 

“Nee-san…”

“Usually, your feathers come from your parents,” I said, interrupting whatever thought he meant to express. “But…” I unfolded the white cloth, revealing two pure black feathers. “I couldn’t help but feel like it might mean more to you if your feathers came from me.” 

Sasuke stared, wide-eyed and slack-jawed. “I…is this really okay?” 

“If anyone thinks it’s not they can talk to me,” I assured him, my voice sharp with promise. “And I’ll kick their fucking ass.” 

Kakashi’s laugh broke the spell, and Sasuke’s shock turned into something far sweeter. A real, true smile. Not a smirk. Not a sneer. Not even one of those half smiles that he uses normally. No, this was Naruto levels of sunshiny joy. 

“Come on,” kaa-san cooed. “I’ll show you how to wear them.”

 

The days went by slowly as the weather got hotter. I returned to training with my whole team when we had time. It’d been so long since we’d worked together and actually felt like a team that even getting my ass handed to me by Mai during spars felt like a breath of fresh air. Ryou kept talking about how wasted he was going to get me on my birthday, which was only a few weeks away at this point. Mai thought he was stupid for expecting me to get anywhere near drunk, considering my disposition. Noboru-sensei just sighed, and I had a feeling that getting drunk with Ryou was an…interesting experience. 

It was almost getting too hot to sit out in the garden, which was a real shame. Luckily, the engawa and plum tree provided plenty of shade for when the sun was being particularly mean. I was almost jealous of Mori and Gan being able to use the birdbath anytime they pleased. Pools weren’t really a thing in Konoha, or the rest of the shinobi nations as far as I could tell. Shame. I could do with a pool episode right about now. 

I perked up at the sound of what I thought was Tsugumi’s voice. She’d been very excited about the end of the chunin exams. Not just because of the fact Kakesu had finally passed, but also because the end of the exams meant she would finally be assigned a team. Because of how busy most of the chunin and jonin had been with the exam, team assignments had been pushed back significantly. Tsugumi’s first meeting with her sensei was a few days ago. I hadn’t heard who it was yet and I had to admit I was curious.

“Sensei! Sensei! You need to meet hime!” Yep, that was definitely Tsugumi. “She’s in the garden, I bet. Over here! The gate’s almost always open.”

I turned to the gate just in time to see Raido step through, a very energetic Tsugumi standing on his shoulders. Raido, of course, seemed to be unperturbed physically by the weight of a twelve year old on his shoulders. 

“I believe this is one of yours,” Raido said, voice devoid of emotion unless you count ‘doneness’ as an emotion. 

“You know sensei, hime?” Tsugumi chirped. “Is he another one of your boyfriends?”

“No, Tsugumi-chan. Kakashi and Iruka are my only boyfriends, I promise. Raido and I have worked together before,” I explained breezily. I turned my attention to Raido. “I hadn’t realized you were the teaching type.”

Raido shrugged, which did nothing to dislodge Tsugumi from his shoulders. “There were more passing teams this year than expected. I didn’t have any other priorities so I got dropped into the role. It’s no big deal, really. I don’t mind kids. Just…can’t always understand them.” He motioned up towards Tsugumi, who didn’t seem bothered (if she was even paying attention at all at this point). 

“It means she likes you,” I assured him, only laughing a little. “It’s a Karasuno thing.”

“I figured,” Raido drawled. He shrugged one of his shoulders sharply to get Tsugumi’s attention. “Alright, kiddo. Time to get off.”

She whined dramatically, but hopped off regardless. Now that she was lower to the ground, I could see she wore her headband like Sakura did, holding back her hair, which was already much longer than it had been in the spring. She waved good-bye to us and practically bounced out of the garden, her bird following after her dutifully.

“You’re gonna end up here a lot,” I warned Raido. “Chouko-san really likes treating folks to dinner. And then gorging them on everything she makes. Don’t think she ever learned how to not cook for an Akimichi.” 

Raido’s face shifted as something clicked into place in his brain. “Ah…she’s part Akimichi. Suddenly a lot of things make sense.” 

My arms folded casually across my chest. “I’m guessing you mean the amount of food she can put away combined with her unusual strength?”

“No need to be sarcastic about it,” Raido huffed, and that was as close to a pout I’d ever seen him do. 

“Maybe not, but it was fun anyway,” I teased. Something came to mind. “Oh, my birthday is coming up, so look out for Kakashi or Iruka inviting you to something. It’s my twentieth, so I think they wanna have a night out at a bar, since I can do that now. Or…will be able to do that soon. For people who don’t really care about their own birthdays, they sure seem to want to celebrate mine…”

He shrugged. “Once you get past twenty, there’s not a whole lot to celebrate anyway. But thanks for the warning. I’ll try not to punch your boyfriend in the face when he decides to drop down from a tree to invite me.” 

There was only one boyfriend he could be referring to in that scenario. At first I couldn’t help but think that sounded more like a Gai thing to do, but I quickly remembered that Kakashi could be just as dorky as his ‘eternal rival’ in the right circumstances. Kakashi, despite his cool exterior, I’d found was quite the romantic. I’d taken a few peeks into Jiraiya’s works. None of them were any nastier than the things I used to read Before, and what I’d read back then involved people I now knew personally and that was probably the only reason I remembered any of that. Things that I did that involved this universe in any way tended to stick in my mind in ways that nothing else but music did. Then again, the ninja world was light on popular culture in a way that Before was absolutely saturated with. I didn’t seem to forget things if there was nothing to replace it with. 

Regardless, Kakashi’s ‘porn’ was more legit schlocky romance in the vein of paperback novels or soap operas aimed at middle-aged housewives than they were porn. Yeah, there was sex, and the narrative tended to grind to a halt when those scenes came up, but there was an actual plot. Most of it stupid and contrived, but it was there.

“I guess I’ll see you at the festival.”

“Huh?” Shit, I really needed to stop getting lost in my own head. 

Raido just shook his head in a manor that suggested he was used to not being heard the first time. “The summer festival is coming up. I’m guessing I’ll see you then.”

“Oh, yeah. Probably.” I’d honestly forgotten the summer festival was even a thing. We’d missed it last year because of the chunin exams. My yukata was old by this point, and probably didn’t fit me any more. Ah, but I did have my furisode…and Kakashi and Iruka hadn’t seen me in it yet. An evil grin crossed my face at the thought of their reactions.

Raido took a step back. “Yeah, I don’t want to know what you’re thinking. I’m just gonna go now. Later, Kourubi.”

I was only barely paying attention at that point. “Right, right, see you later.” I turned to bound happily back into the house. “Kaa-san? Where did you put my furisode?”

 

The summer festival overtook the village. Traditional paper lanterns lined every street, and people wandered about in colorful yukata. The smell of festival food wafted through the air, making me crave it even when I wasn’t hungry. I couldn’t wait to go, but I’d have to. Mai, Ryou, and I had all decided on meeting up at the compound, the place closest to the actual festival grounds, an hour after the festival officially started. The celebration would last from an hour before sunset to an hour after sunrise, as was tradition, so we’d have plenty of time even if we were starting late.

“Kou-chan,” Kakashi called, knocking on my door. “Your teammates are here.”

I fumbled with my feathers, attempting to keep them upright in the small bun I’d made out of my hair. “Just a moment. I’m almost ready.”

“Do you need help?”

I didn’t want to ask, but another pair of hands would make a world of difference. “Yeah, actually, if you don’t mind.”

The door opened with a soft click. “Of course…not.”

I turned, my eyes catching the flush as it spread over Kakashi’s cheeks. He stood stock still, staring in shock at me. “You okay, Kakashi?” 

“You…you look great,” he managed to say. 

I smiled. What a dork. If I’d known it’d only take a furisode to seduce Hatake Kakashi, I would have worn one long ago. “Thank you. Can you help me with my hair? I can’t fix my feathers and put the hair tie in at the same time.” 

“Y-yeah, sure.” He moved forward robotically, catching the hairband I dropped in his hand. 

“You look good, too,” I said, turning back to the mirror. He did. I was honestly surprised he owned a yukata, a mossy green one with a shuriken pattern that was pretty popular among shinobi. I saw it more often on bedspreads than yukata, but it wasn’t exactly rare. 

I positioned my feathers properly, feeling Kakashi’s gentle hands tie off the hairband like a pro. “There, much better. Thank you, Kakashi.” 

His hands brushed down my shoulders, feeling the silky fabric of my furisode. “You’re welcome. Now, we should go. Ryou’s going to get fussy, and you know that makes Umeko get fussy. And I’d rather not make Genma deal with that.” 

I took his arm, resting my hand on the crook of his elbow with as charming of a smile as I could manage. “No, that would be rather mean of us, wouldn’t it?”

My friends were clumped together at the foot of the stairs, Ryou tapping his foot loudly in impatience. His yukata was a pale blue, the outline of a single cat embroidered in black at the bottom. Genma’s matched his in color, the same shuriken pattern as Kakashi’s decorating the fabric. He held Umeko in his arms, because I very rarely saw Genma anymore without Umeko in his arms, her tiny yukata a cream color with a dark purple obi that matched her wavy hair, which Ryou and Genma seemed perfectly content to let grow out.

Mai’s furisode looked very much like it had been meant for someone else, looking just a little long on her, if that was possible. Despite that, the colors looked wonderful on her, the dark blue of the furisode proper and the pale yellow of the obi and the star pattern on the sleeves complementing her complexion well. But Mai looked gorgeous in just about anything. It really wasn’t fair. 

Sasuke glanced up from where he was talking with Sakura, wearing the same kimono he wore to Tsugumi’s signing. Then again, I wasn’t sure he had any other kimono to wear. Sakura looked lovely in her pastel green yukata, the way her obi matched her hair was very fetching indeed. She was certain to catch people’s attention at the festival. The only question was if Sasuke would scare them off or not. She caught sight of me and immediately started hitting Iruka, whose back was to the stairs, on the arm to get his attention. He turned questioningly to her and she simply grabbed the collar of his ocean blue yukata and turned him the rest of the way around. His eyes landed on me, going wide. His jaw dropped and red colored his cheeks. 

“Wow,” he breathed, my favorite smile making an appearance on his face. “I didn’t know I was going to the festival with a princess.” 

What sort of bizarro world did I step into where Iruka was the smooth one? I could feel Kakashi’s shoulders shake as he tried not to laugh at my probably very red face. “You stop that! I refuse to be called princess by my own boyfriends.”

“In public at least,” Mai teased, and if I had my tanto on me there was no way she’d be fast enough to escape. 

Iruka laughed lightly, taking my hand as Kakashi and I descended the remaining stairs. “Come on, I plan on winning you a prize and I’ll be very disappointed if we get there and they’re all gone.” 

The festival grounds were easy enough to find: just follow the crowds and the smell of frying food. It was very much like any Japanese festival, right down to the silly games and fireworks at midnight. After the fireworks was a dance that would last until the sun came up. It was an old tradition that went back to before the Five Nations. Supposedly, the sun had once hidden itself away, refusing to come out. The people of the land devised a plan to draw out the sun, making so much noise in their revelries that the curious sun finally came out. Or something like that. 

“I’m going to find some taiyaki before we start,” Ryou said, taking Umeko from Genma. “Stay among the food stalls so I can at least attempt to find you when I’m done.” 

“We’ll to go the tree in the middle. How’s that?” Genma offered, pressing a kiss to Umeko’s cheek as he handed her over. 

“Works for me,” Ryou agreed. “I’ll be right back. C’mon Umeko, let’s go get taiyaki.”

The festival stalls were arranged in a cross shape: one row of food stalls that intersected with a row of games at a large Hashirama tree. Lanterns on strings cascaded down from its thick branches, lighting up the space below. Someone had arranged benches underneath it for everyone. We settled around one, taking in the sights and smells of the festival. 

“Ah, hello everyone.”

Hinata walked towards us, Neji just behind her like he always was. She was dressed in a furisode like any fine young lady ‘should’ be (and I could hear the old farts in the Hyuuga clan in my head at the thought ugh), all soft lavenders and deep, royal purples. Neji’s yukata was a simple, solid navy blue. I should have known that the branch family wouldn’t get anything particularly nice that would take away attention from the main family. 

“Hi, princess, you look pretty tonight,” I greeted, pushing down my feelings about the Hyuuga family as a whole. Hinata had nothing to do with it, and neither did Neji.

Hinata smiled shyly, smoothing at her wrinkle-free clothing with her hands. “Thank you.” She looked pointedly at Mai, who was paying more attention to Sasuke trying to win Sakura a prize at a close by game stall than the things going on immediately around her. I jabbed my elbow into her side.

“Hmm?” She turned her head sharply, catching sight of Hinata. Quickly taking stock of the situation, she smiled lazily. “Yeah, you look good, girlie.” 

Hinata’s pale face flushed a brilliant red and for a moment I thought she was going to faint. She hid her face behind her hands, muttering a much quieter and squeakier, “Thank you very much.” 

Interesting.

Ryou returned at that moment with a small bag full of taiyaki, Umeko mouthing at the tail of one that he’d ripped off for her. “You wouldn’t believe who I ran into.”

“The entire village is here, dumbass,” Mai reminded him. “Try me.”

Ryou rolled his eyes. “Fine, whatever. I ran into Noboru-sensei and Gai. And I mean that pretty literally. They were making out right next to the taiyaki stand and I nearly bumped into them trying to get a piece torn off for Umeko. I swear, every other time I see them they’re engaging in some nasty kind of PDA.”

Ah, and there went Neji, escaping with Hinata in tow. Smart boy.

“Says the guy who tried to have sex on a park bench with his boyfriend last time he went drinking,” Mai shot back, an almost evil grin on her face.

I beg your pardon?

“In my defense,” Ryou sniffed, “I was drunk off my ass.” 

“I should have let the police arrest you for public indecency.” 

I sighed. “You guys are really making me not want to go drinking with you on my birthday.”

“Too bad, you’re doing it.” Ryou’s tone left no room for argument. I groaned. I was going to hate my birthday, I could tell. 

 

We wandered about the festival, stopping at games when it caught someone’s interest and food stands when the smell beckoned us a little too strongly to ignore. Iruka noticed me eyeing a round bird plush at a shooting gallery and immediately slapped down a coin to play. The whole group stopped to watch, pulling others into our center of gravity as our cheers got louder the longer Iruka’s streak got. 

“Jeez,” the man running the booth grumbled, handing the plush over to Iruka. “This is why shinobi should have their own games.” 

Iruka ignored him, turning to me with the plush in outstretched hands. “Told you I was going to win you a prize.”

“So you did,” I agreed, taking the offered bird orb…borb. It was larger than my head, and looked like it was supposed to be a budgie or something similar. It was cute. “Thank you, Iruka.” I stood on my toes to press a kiss to his cheek. 

Iruka looked positively giddy. I wondered if this had been something he’d always wanted to do for a significant other, win them some sort of prize at a festival. That sounded like something Iruka would aspire to do, simple guy that he was. It was honestly kind of adorable. 

I could see Kakashi stealthily (or at least he was trying to be stealthy) looking around at the various game booths. Oh? Was someone jealous that Iruka was getting all the attention for being a cool boyfriend? I think they were. 

A cool hand wrapped around mine and began tugging eagerly. Kakashi smiled down at me, pointing in the direction of another game. “Let’s play this one next, Kou-chan. It’s my turn to win you a prize.” 

“Maa, maa,” I sighed, mimicking Kakashi’s usual tone perfectly in my opinion. “Slow down, Kakashi, the game isn’t going anywhere.” 

The game was a ring toss, one of the really hard ones that gave out the super fancy prizes. Kakashi, you little show off. 

“No using your Sharingan,” I warned. “If I catch you cheating, Iruka’s getting your ‘thank you’ kiss.” 

Kakashi slapped a coin onto the counter and took the offered rings. “I won’t disappoint.” 

“I know you won’t.”

It really didn’t surprise anyone that Kakashi did not, in fact, disappoint. He took a lovely hairclip decorated with paper violet blossoms and pinned back the little bit of fringe around my face that I hadn’t managed to wrangle into my bun, putting the scar on my jaw on display as he did. 

“I knew it,” he said, and I could hear the playfulness in his voice. “It suits you.”

I hid my face behind my budgie plush. Nice to see Kakashi get is groove back, I guess. Just wish it wouldn’t leave me flustered as all get out every time. I pressed a kiss to his cheek anyway, because it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t. 

“Hey.” We looked to see a teenager a few years older than Sakura leaning against the game booth, getting way too close to her. “Want me to win you a prize?”

Sakura looked ready to tell the boy to buzz off, but Sasuke stepped between the two, pushing back against the older teen. “She doesn’t need you to win a prize for her.”

Looking torn between being happy that Sasuke was defending her and pissed that he felt the need to do so, Sakura folded her arms angrily across her chest. “You’re right, Sasuke-kun, I don’t need someone else to win a prize for me. Nor do I need someone else to defend me.”

She stepped around Sasuke, drawing herself up to full height, which was still significantly shorter than the other teen. “Go away. I don’t know you, and given your need to invade my personal space despite this, I don’t think I want to. Learn how to approach women respectfully before you even considering talking to me again.” 

She then flicked him in the nose, with just enough of her chakra enhanced strength behind the blow to make him bleed. He ran off in a panic, back to a gaggle of other teen boys who laughed at him until they realized he was actually bleeding. 

Sasuke, eyes wide in what could only be awe given the pale flush on his cheeks, cleared his throat before speaking. “You’re still going to let me win you a prize, right? I said I would and I haven’t gotten to yet.” 

Sakura turned back with a dramatic sigh, but smiled sweetly to assure Sasuke that she wasn’t really all that mad. “I suppose. Since you promised and you don’t like breaking promises.”

Sasuke gave her a smile that was way cuter than it had any right to be. “Good, cause I just saw something you might really like.” 

Not five minutes later, after spending far more money on the festival game than he really should have, Sasuke presented Sakura with a set of golden bira-bira kanzashi, the dangling bells hidden well by a near cascade of paper sakura flowers. They were gorgeous. But there was a problem.

“I don’t think Sakura’s hair is long enough for her to wear those, baby brother.” I pointed out. 

Sasuke instantly looked mortified, his face going first pale than brilliant pink. He opened his mouth, possibly to apologize or offer to win Sakura something else, but she snatched the kanzashi before anything could be said.

“Well, I’ll just have to grow my hair back out, won’t I?” She asked with a teasing grin. 

“Don’t you like your hair short, kiddo?” Ryou asked, knowing as well as I did what had made Sakura cut her hair in the first place. 

“I do,” Sakura agreed. “But I like the gift more.” 

 

As it approached midnight, we gathered on a hillside by the river to watch the fireworks. Not far away, I could see Noboru-sensei and Gai with Gai’s team. Kurenai and her team weren’t far away, Asuma with them because of course he was. I couldn’t see Shikamaru’s team, but I assumed they were close by. 

Then I remembered something I’d been wondering about. I reached forward to tap Sakura on her shoulder. “Hey, cherry pie, where did you learn that earth jutsu you used during the chunin exam?” 

“The Hiding in Rock technique?” Sakura clarified. I nodded and she smiled, her pretty green eyes shifting to Kakashi on my right. “Sensei taught it to me.” 

I drew back, surprised. Kakashi…as far as I knew Kakashi didn’t have much to do with Sakura after she entered into Tsunade’s care, at least in canon. “Really?” 

“Don’t sound so surprised,” Kakashi said, mocking offense. “Someone once told me not to neglect my students. I’m trying to take their advice.”

The sky exploded into brilliant colors as our eyes met, like the climax of some shoujo romance. But I don’t really like shoujo romances, so I decided to ruin the moment.

“Good,” I said with a huff, turning to look up at the fireworks. “It’s about time someone started listening to me.” 

If anyone asks, Kakashi has the best laugh.

 

As far as I was concerned, nothing good ever came of me being in Tsunade’s office. The first time, Sasuke had been kidnapped, and if Hayate hadn’t shown up when he did, she wouldn’t have believed me. The second time, she sent me on my first and only mission as a leader. Yet, there I was, standing stiffly in front of the Hokage’s desk, Tsunade’s amber eyes staring me down. 

“I have a proposal for you, Karasuno.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cookies for whoever can guess which of Madame Hinagiku's girls Mai borrowed her yukata from.
> 
> A note on flower choice. Violets (sumire in Japanese) have two different meanings depending on whether you're going with Western Flower Language or Hanakotoba. In western cultures, a violet means 'modesty'. In hanakotoba, it means 'little love'. I thought both meanings fit Kourubi fairly well in this context. 
> 
> Also, the scene with Tsugumi was inspired by [this post.](http://melodyfromanotherworld.tumblr.com/post/159113994673/purple-possibilities-huntersonthewing)


	32. In Which Too Much Happens and I Can't Fucking Handle It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooo boy, this chapter has a lot of stuff going on. Hope ya'll enjoy having EVERYTHING HAPPEN in one chapter.
> 
> I'm mostly joking, but the chapter title isn't exactly inaccurate.

“A proposal, Hokage-sama?” I repeated, trying to steady myself. Whatever this was, it likely wasn’t good. 

“Yes,” Tsunade said with a nod. “As embarrassing as this is, the past year has been mostly me playing catch up with everything that was going on before sensei’s…passing. I am only just now able to move forward with my own administration. Which means reassigning a few crucial positions.” 

Please, please, puh-leeze don’t put me on the Hokage Guard Squad. Please.

“Including in the archive.”

I tried to keep my face from giving away my surprise. Archive? What archive? I’d never heard of it.

“Don’t worry if you haven’t heard of it,” Tsunade said, meaning I obviously didn’t succeed in hiding my surprise. “You only just now have the clearance to know it exists. The archive, as its name suggests, holds every important document that’s moved through this office along with any sort of personal logs the Hokage might have kept. Any intelligence, any mission log, anything that might hold any sort of important information is stored there. It is staffed at the Hokage’s – my – whim. As you can imagine, the moment sensei ceased being the Hokage, a great deal of work was created. But, the archive has been unstaffed for a year. The work has been left untouched because of my lack of time.”

“You want me to work the archive,” I surmised.

“Correct,” Tsunade acknowledged, folding her hands on her desk. 

“If I may be so bold, Hokage-sama…why me?”

Her eyes sparkled with something akin to amusement. “To be completely honest, Karasuno, it’s mostly because I don’t think you’re capable of lying to me. You wear your emotions too plainly. You’re easy to read. If you find a secret down there, I’ll certainly be able to tell simply by looking at you.”

I’d hate to disappoint you, Tsunade-sama, but I’m lying to you right now.

“If I’m down there with all those secrets, wouldn’t being a bad liar be more of a bane than a boon?” I asked, curious.

“Lying isn’t the same thing as keeping a secret, Karasuno,” Tsunade stated plainly. Which was true, I supposed. One was a constructed falsehood; the other was simply keeping your mouth shut. Tsunade was right that I was good at one but not the other; she just got them mixed up.

‘Take my advice, hime; the moment they offer you a cushy, in-village job, take it.’ Kiui’s words echoed in my head. This…this could afford me an invaluable opportunity. This job wasn’t like working the mission desk, or hanging out at the gate for three months. I’d have access to literal mountains of data. Perhaps…I’d be able to find something to prove Danzo’s deception. Cut out that cancer before it became terminal. I’d always been good at catching inconsistencies or things that were out of place. It’s what made me so good at my job Before…whatever it had been. Couldn’t remember anymore. 

“I’ll take the position, Hokage-sama.”

She sat back, a triumphant smile that bordered on being a smirk on her lips. “Good. Come back here in a week, I’ll have everything ready for you then.”

A week? I’d be starting after my birthday, then. 

“One more thing,” Tsunade interrupted my thoughts. “Do you think that Uchiha of yours would like a position there as well?”

Sasuke’s Sharingan would certainly make organizing things much easier, especially considering the speed-reading and photographic memory it afforded him. Hell, it made him near perfect for the job. More than that, he might find some proof of what really happened with his family while there.

“No,” I admitted. “But he’d do it if I asked him.” 

Tsunade looked at me meaningfully, though I wasn’t sure what that meaning was. “And that’s why you’re far more powerful than people give you credit for.”

“Tsunade-sama?”

She waved me off. “You’re dismissed.”

 

“What did the Hokage want?” tou-san asked as I wandered into the living room. Kaa-san looked up from polishing her shuriken, wanting to hear the answer as well. Kakashi, who was out training in the garden with Sasuke, grappled Sasuke into a hold so he could listen in as well. Iruka continued grading papers at the low tea table, but I could tell from the way his pen slowed that he was listening too. 

“She offered me a job,” I said, flopping down on the couch. “At the archive.”

“The what?” Sasuke asked, slapping at Kakashi’s arm to get him to let go. 

I laughed. “That’s what I said. She also asked me to extend the job offer to you, baby brother.”

Kakashi eyed me curiously. “It’s odd for someone so recently promoted to be assigned to the archive. Usually only career chunin who’ve been working the administrative side of things for a while or tokubetsu jonin are archivers.” 

I thought about Tsunade’s words, her reasons for choosing me. “She said…she didn’t think I was capable of lying to her. I wonder…if she’s looking for something.”

“Like what?” kaa-san questioned, her expression thoughtful and cautious. 

I shook my head. “I don’t know.”

“Well,” tou-san stood from the couch with a slight groan, “I’m glad you’ve been given a good position in the village. I worry when you go out on missions.” 

“Why? Think I can’t handle myself?” I joked.

The smile he gave me was painful to look at. “No, I’d simply be heartbroken if I lost my only child.” 

Woah, wait a minute! 

I scrambled off the couch as tou-san wandered out of the room, catching him just outside his and kaa-san’s bedroom.

“Does this have anything to do with why you made me clan head?” I asked. If there was one thing I noticed about shinobi clan heads, it was that they generally weren’t really active shinobi. Shikaku was jonin commander, yes, but that generally kept him in village. Ino’s father mostly ran the flower shop, and while Kiba had mentioned Shino going on missions with his father, I’d never really gotten confirmation that that was even a thing. Tou-san’s missions never ran over two or three days, those times he had them. When I…Kourubi was younger he hardly ever went on missions at all. He only started them again after Kourubi turned sixteen. 

He stared at me, dark eyes tired and sad. “Your mother and I always wanted a big family. But we started late, late for a shinobi at any rate, and it took us so long. We were ecstatic when she finally got pregnant with you. But the pregnancy was hard…and after you were born we were told on no uncertain terms to never try for another child. You’re all we have, all we could ever have. When it became obvious that you were going to become a chunin, we panicked. Chunin aren’t afforded the same protections as genin are. There’s nothing stopping anyone from sending you off to die. A war is coming, I’m sure of it. It’s been so long since the last one. We couldn’t bear to lose you. So we decided to make you clan head. That way…you’d have an excuse not to fight…not to die.” 

I…what was I supposed to say to that? Tell him there was no way I was going to die? That there wasn’t going to be another war? Those were damn lies and I knew it. 

“Besides,” tou-san’s tone was lighter now, more playful, but it sounded forced. “I’m an old man.”

“You’re not even 50, tou-san,” I reminded him.

“Only barely,” he corrected. “I’m old, Kourubi-chan, especially for a shinobi. And there are too many old men in power for the village to move forward. Too many old men with eyes on the past and their backs to the future.” The heavy weight of his hand rested on my shoulder. “You will be the wings to carry our clan into the future, Kourubi-chan. That’s why we cannot lose you.” 

It almost sounded like a preemptive goodbye. Fighting tears, I stepped forward, wrapping arms around him and pressing my face into his shoulder. His hug was warm and comforting despite his words, so laced with sorrow that even the hopeful things sounded like despair. 

“Only if you promise to see me do it.” It sounded like begging even to my own ears. 

His silence said more than false promises ever could. 

 

“Can we go in now?” Mai asked, swatting at her arm. “These mosquitos are going to eat me alive.”

“No!” Ryou insisted with a huff. “Not until midnight. Then Kourubi can have her first drink.”

We were stood outside Ryou’s favorite bar – sensei, my two best ‘friends’, and me. Though given the fact they insisted on dragging me out in the middle of the night when I had a family function the next day made me wonder about that friendship status. Ryou was adamant that I have my first drink with my team, which meant going to a bar exactly at midnight on my birthday. 

Noboru-sensei glanced at his watch. It was odd to see him in casual clothes. Practically every jonin or chunin I knew just wore the standard uniform all the time. Those who didn’t were making a statement, like Gai. Hell, I’d seen casual clothes in Iruka and Kakashi’s wardrobes, but I’d never seen them wear any of it, preferring to just lounge around without their vests and headbands. Noboru-sensei looked like one of those professors that got all the student’s heart a flutter with his tight black trousers and well-tailored dark grey shirt. Seriously, where the hell had he been keeping that ass all this time?

“Alright,” he announced, “It’s twelve-o-one. Let’s go and get this done so Kourubi can go home and get ready for everything else she has to do today.”

“I’m starting to think you guys don’t want to party with me,” Ryou pouted, leading the way through the door. 

“Of course we want to party with you, Ryou,” Mai soothed, an edge of sarcasm to her voice. “We just don’t want to deal with the aftermath.”

“Is it really that bad?” I asked Noboru-sensei in a hushed tone.

Noboru eyed Ryou as he plopped down in a corner booth. “Ryou’s…not very good at knowing his limits. And his limits are rather…limiting. He orders ten shots and is plastered half way through them.” 

“Joy,” I muttered. 

“Birthday girl sits by me!” Ryou shouted from the booth, patting the seat beside him. The bar, while full of patrons, wasn’t much louder than a normal restaurant, which meant his voice carried over everything else. A red head behind the bar spotted him immediately and wandered over.

“What did I hear about it being someone’s birthday?” she asked, her tone friendly.

Ryou wrapped an arm around my shoulders and dragged me into the booth. “It’s my teammate’s birthday and we’re buying her her first drink.” 

The woman smiled. “Well, I’m always a sucker for first timers. Tell you what, first drink’s on us. What do you want?”

Suddenly overwhelmed, I accepted the drink menu Noboru-sensei passed to me. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. I couldn’t remember if I’d been much of a drinker Before, but I didn’t think so. 

“Um…I don’t know?” I said. “Something where I can’t really taste the alcohol, I guess?”

The woman didn’t bother to hide her amusement. “Haha, alright, sweetheart. How about I bring you something nice and easy for your first drink?”

“Whatever you think is best,” I conceded. “You know more about this stuff than I do.” 

“Bring us a bottle of that birthday cake vodka from the Land of Earth, too!” Ryou insisted. 

“Of course,” she agreed. “Can’t have a party without cake. What else, folks?” 

Mai didn’t even bother to look at the menu. “Whiskey, double shot. Bring me a stout, too. Whatever’s on tap is fine.” 

“Midori sour,” Noboru-sensei said. “And one of those snack platters, too. Shouldn’t drink on an empty stomach.” 

“We got a smart one here,” the waitress teased. “I’ll be right back with that.”

“So what are you actually doing for your birthday?” Mai asked, leaning against the wall. 

“Big family get together, of course,” I said. “Tou-san was nice enough to make it around lunch time since Kakashi and Iruka wanted to take me out for drinks, too. They invited pretty much every chunin and jonin of drinking age I know. We’re pretty much going to be renting out the bar.”

“Yeah, Genma will be there for that,” Ryou hummed. “I figured it was only fair that he had a night out since he’s letting me have this night out.” 

“How thoughtful of you,” Mai drawled, her eyes on the waitress as she brought back the drinks. 

“Alright, kiddos. I got a bottle of vodka for the big spender and the birthday girl. Whiskey and the stout for Little Miss ‘I can drink like the boys’. Midori sour for sensei. And a frozen daiquiri for our birthday girl. Plus a giant platter of fried sin. Anything else I can get you?” 

“We’ll let you know,” sensei assured her. 

“Shots first! Shots first!” Ryou insisted, handing everyone a shot glass brimming with vodka. It burned my nose as I brought it to my face. Ugh. Smelled like flavored hand sanitizer. 

“To Kourubi,” Noboru offered, raising his glass. 

“To Kourubi!” Mai and Ryou shouted, tossing back their shots without another thought.

The minute the alcohol touched my throat I was coughing and sputtering. God, the birthday cake flavor did nothing to hide the burn. I was pretty sure that Sasuke’s fire jutsu hurt less than this stuff. 

“Holy shit, never again!” 

Ryou snorted. “Weakling.” 

“Fuck you and your burning potato juice,” I shot back, reaching for whatever was closest on the appetizer platter to chase away the taste in my mouth. 

“Shots are awful and I hate them,” Noboru-sensei agreed. “Somehow those two down them like they’re water. But only one of them can handle them and it’s not the one nursing an entire bottle of vodka.” 

I eyed Ryou suspiciously as he tossed back a third shot. “You’re not actually going to let him drink all of that, are you?” I took a sip of my daiquiri. Okay, that wasn’t bad. Didn’t taste like strawberries like the garnish and pinkish-red color implied but I’d take it over the straight vodka any day. 

He shrugged, a faraway look in his eye. “He bought it and I’m not dealing with his drunk ass this time. I did that last time. Kumamoto ‘I drink alcohol like water and it affects me just as much’ Mai can deal with him tonight.” 

“Only cause it’s Kourubi’s birthday,” Mai agreed. 

True to Noboru-sensei’s warning, not twenty minutes and one third of a bottle of vodka later, Ryou’s head was on the table, his eyes blurry and his speech slurred. 

“Why are guysssso hot?” Ryou asked. “I just…I just wan them all to p-pound me.”

“Does…does this happen every time he’s drunk?” I asked, concern for Ryou settling in my stomach. 

Mai just nodded, a bored look on her face. “Yeah.” 

“Kourubiiiii!” Suddenly Ryou’s head was on my shoulder. “’m such a slut, Kourubi.” 

“Ryou, you’ve literally only ever had sex with Genma,” I reminded him. “Trust me, you would have told us otherwise.” 

“God, I lovveeeee him so much.” Ryou’s eyes suddenly widened. “Oh god, what if he doesn’t love ME?!” 

“Genma loves you very much, Ryou. He wouldn’t raise a child with you if he didn’t.” 

“Yeah…yeah, you’re right,” Ryou said, nodding like we’d just discussed something profound. “We have sex and we don’ wanna have a baby. Sssso he definitely loves me.”

Why did I have the feeling this had something to do with his parents? 

“Alright, big spender, I’m cutting you off,” the waitress said, finally returning to gather our glasses. She snatched up the bottle, easily keeping it away from Ryou’s drunken flailings. She eyed us. “He got a way home?”

Mai raised her hand. “I got him, don’t worry about it, Ringo-san.” 

Ringo nodded in approval. Her grey eyes turned to me. “How was your first drink, birthday girl?” 

“Better than expected,” I admitted. “But promise me you’ll never let Ryou make me do shots again.” 

 

The only thing that made wearing a furisode less of a hassle was the reaction it pulled out of Kakshi and Iruka. Even after spending hours with me wearing it at the summer festival, it seemed just one month was enough to make them forget that they’d seen me in it before. Because turning twenty was apparently a Big Deal, everyone was dressed to the nines, or at least had their yukata on because even the most casual of kimono were more formal than regulation blues. 

The party, though really it was mostly just a family get together with food, was held at the clan shrine. The shrine was too small to fit everyone inside, but the garden had more than enough space for everyone. Tables with red tablecloths were strewn about the shady space, each one covered in food or drink. Family milled about, chatting with each other between stopping to offer me congratulations and munching on finger foods. I had no idea who most of these people were, which made standing around making awkward small talk even more awkward than it would have in the first place. 

“Are you alright?” Kamome asked, appearing out of nowhere behind my back. Stinkin’ ANBU ninjas, always giving me a heart attack.

“Fine,” I said curtly. “Just not really one for making small talk with old fogeys who don’t even like me.”

“Best not go into politics, then,” Kasasagi laughed quietly in my ear, making me jump. Seriously, how was a civilian tailor so sneaky? 

“Too late,” Kiui drawled. “That’s half the job of a clan head.” 

“Would you people quit sneaking up on me?!” I hissed. “If I spill this tea, it’s all your fault. And Kasasagi will kill you with knitting needles for ruining my furisode.”

“It’s true,” Kasasagi agreed mildly, taking a sip of her own iced tea. 

“Where are your boytoys?” Kiui asked. “Usually you just have to stand with them and that scares everyone away. The ‘old fogeys’ don’t like dealing with non-clan shinobi.” 

“Somewhere,” I answered vaguely, scanning the garden for a head of spikey grey hair. Kaa-san had dragged them off somewhere. For a small woman she was pretty damn strong. Watching her manhandle Kakashi and Iruka was both impressive and hilarious. Ah, there they were, coming back across the pond’s bridge, kaa-san chatting their ears off. Somewhere along the way they’d picked up Sasuke, apparently. It still made me unnaturally happy to see Sasuke wearing his feathers. 

“What are they doing here?” a familiar voice hissed from somewhere behind me. “And what is that boy doing wearing clan feathers?! He’s not even-“

“Not even what, Isoshigi?” I snapped, whirling on the older man. He jumped, nearly knocking over the matronly looking woman he was gossiping with. The people between us nearly dove out of the way of my gaze, desperate not to get caught in the crossfire. 

Isoshigi paled, not daring to meet my gaze directly. “N-not even family, Kourubi-hime.” 

“If I say someone is family, then they’re family,” I stated, my voice carrying easily in the open space. “If I say someone is not family, then they’re not family. That is my right as clan head. Sasuke is my brother, and I will hear no argument to the contrary.”

“He’s not even related to you!” Isoshigi snapped. “You toss aside those who share your blood in favor of outsiders who know nothing of us!”

“Fukuro didn’t share blood with me either,” I reminded him coldly. “And neither do you. Blood does not make family, Isoshigi, but rather the feeling of devotion and camaraderie shared among a people. Blood is just a bonus. Sasuke is more family to me than you will ever be.”

The shame on Isoshigi’s face was more satisfying that I’d thought it would be. 

“That kind of mindset has no place in Konoha,” I continued, feeling my confidence grow the more Isoshigi cowered before me. “It hasn’t since its founding, or do you mean to tell me that you think the First Hokage was wrong? Peace will never come if we continue this narrative of us verses them. How can we expect other lands to extend hands of friendship to us when the clans squirrel themselves away in their compounds, inbreeding like a farmer with a particularly fat line of pigs? No. This is not the future of the Karasuno clan. And anyone who thinks it is can keep their damn mouths shut, because they’re wrong. Speaking of which, starting today, the council is being replaced.”

Uproar sounded from the old men I assumed had been on the council. Protests and begging for me to reconsider rang in my ears. I held up a hand to quiet them, but they ignored me. Unsurprising, considering their inaction during Fukuro’s trial. I gathered chakra, feeling it buzz around my throat.

“Silence!” My voice echoed in the open air, volume amplified by the little chakra trick. The elders cowed, their protests turning to whimpers. 

“I have no desire to hear the opinions of those too stuck in the past to imagine the future,” I declared. “I will be replacing every single one of you, as is my right. I am clan head, the wings that will lead our clan into tomorrow. I will not stand to be weighed down by you.” 

“And who will be on this council?” an old man, one of the council members I just disposed, snipped.

“Not you,” I replied back icily. “And not anyone who speaks when I ask for quiet. Not anyone who goes behind my back to act in their own self interests or the interests of someone who has made themselves my enemy.” My eyes landed squarely on Isoshigi again, who flinched. “And not anyone who calls Sasuke anything other than my brother and claims that he’s not welcome here.” 

“And who would that leave you with?” the man sneered. “No one wanted the Uchiha here in the first place.” 

“Oh, I’m delighted that Sasuke has joined our family,” Kasasagi piped up, sipping her tea before continuing. “He’s brought our clan nothing but good things, and I’m quite proud of him for embracing our customs so readily.” 

“We welcomed Daisuke and Chouko-san without a fuss, what makes Sasuke so different?” Kamome demanded. 

“The genetic diversity isn’t exactly a bad thing, either,” Kiui added flatly, pulling a cigarette out of her obi and lighting it. 

“You weren’t there!” a middle-aged woman shouted. “The Kyuubi had the Sharingan in its eyes! That’s what they said!”

“And the Uchiha paid for those rumors with isolation and then their lives!” I snapped. “They died and the village swept the whole thing under a rug and you honestly want to tell me that people in power WEREN’T behind it? If that’s true than maybe we should let the birds run the clan because they’re obviously smarter than you.” 

“Nee-san?” 

I whirled about at the tiny sounding voice, coming face to face with Sasuke and the others. My stomach dropped at the expression on his face, somewhere between disturbed and concerned. Iruka and Kakashi looked at me like I’d grown two heads. This…this was not how it was supposed to happen. This wasn’t supposed to happen at all. 

“Party’s over,” I growled. “Everyone get out.” 

No one moved.

“I said, get out!” 

People scrambled to get out of the way. Or at least, all the people who didn’t matter did. Kamome and my other cousins didn’t move from my side. Kasasagi’s soothing hands rested on my shoulders, but she spoke no words. I was thankful for that. Kiui, in all her sarcastic wisdom, laughed at me, sharp and humorless.

“Well done, hime, now they think you’re a conspiracy theorist.”

I sighed heavily, the end sounding more like a growl than anything else. “Fuck you. And put that cigarette out. You’d figure a doctor would know how bad those are.” 

“And you’d figure a shinobi like you would know that I can heal any damage to my lungs before it even takes hold.” She stared at me with morbidly curious eyes. “No one’s going to want to be on your council now.”

“Even you?” 

She huffed, a tiny, wry smile on her painted lips. “Well, maybe.” 

“I’m surprised you’re not telling me I’m wrong,” I muttered, rubbing at my face with a suddenly clammy hand. “I just made a very damning accusation against the Third and his council.”

Kiui glanced Kamome’s way, and the ANBU nin frowned. “It…would make sense…” 

“Even if it didn’t,” Kasasagi interrupted, “you said it in defense of Sasuke. Any of us would support you in doing so.” 

“Nee-san?” Sasuke was right in front of me, eyes wide. He never looked more like the lost child he was until now. I reached out and pulled him to me, letting him burry his head in my shoulder. “Did…did you mean that?” 

“I never say things I don’t mean,” I promised. “Not about this. Not about you.” 

Iruka looked nearly as lost as Sasuke. “You don’t think the Third would…?”

Iruka practically worshiped the Third Hokage, I knew that much. He was well loved by most, but orphans seemed to cling to him. “Not necessarily him. Itachi was ANBU after all. There are more people than just the Hokage with their hands in ANBU.” 

Kakashi’s eye narrowed critically. “Do you have any proof?”

“Not yet,” I said with a shake of my head. “But the archive holds a lot of secrets.” 

 

“Are you sure you still want to do this?” Iruka asked as we walked down the street. “It’s not a big deal if you don’t want to. No one will hold it against you.”

“No, no, I’m excited for this,” I said, linking my arm with his. “Hanging out with friends is a lot different from being at a stuffy family gathering. Besides, I’ve never seen you guys in casual clothes. I want to savor this.” 

After the disaster that was the family get together, everyone had used the hours between then and now to calm down. And by that I mean we had basically dropped the topic because otherwise someone was going to cry. Probably me. But if I hadn’t convinced Sasuke to join me in the archive just by asking him, the idea that he’d be able to reveal who was behind the killing of his clan certainly did. 

It felt good to be out of the compound. Summer days were unbearable at the best of times, but summer nights were just perfect. This night was even more perfect, because for once I got to see my boys in something other than regulation blues (okay, Kakashi was technically wearing his ANBU undershirt but still). Like, there must be something in those regulation pants because Iruka’s bubble butt was a pleasant surprise. 

“So where are we going?” I asked.

“An old watering hole that Gai dragged me and a few others to once that ended up being a favorite,” Kakashi answered. “If we ever go drinking, we usually come here.” 

‘Here’ ended up being a bar at the corner of two residential streets in a shinobi majority district. I could see Genma, Gai, Raido, and pretty much every other jonin and chunin I knew already sitting at a long booth that took up the entire left wall, the table already cluttered with half empty glasses and bottles. The bell above the door chimed as we walked in, and they all turned towards us, shouting in greeting. 

“Hey, it’s the birthday girl,” Genma greeted. “Looks like you survived your first party with Ryou.” 

I grinned. “Maybe, but none of you will be talking me into shots.” 

“Dammit,” Kotetsu whined, swirling an amber liquid about the glass in his hand. “Shots are the best though.” 

“If Kourubi-san doesn’t want to do it, she doesn’t have to,” Kurenai spoke up from the far end of the table where she sat with Asuma. “It’s her birthday, she can drink what she wants.” 

The fact that I had no idea what to drink was, thankfully, left unspoken. There was a lot of scooting and finagling involved, but somehow they managed to get me in the middle of the booth with Kakashi and Iruka on either side of me. Hayate ended up across from me, and smiled, albeit weakly, once everyone was finally settled.

“How has your birthday been so far?” he asked. 

“A mess,” I admitted. “But that’s just how every day is.” Over his shoulder, I notice a small bit of the floor is raised higher than the rest of the room. “Is that…a stage?”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kakashi grin mischievously behind his mask. “This, Kou-chan, is what’s called a karaoke bar in Suna.” 

What.

“Suna has a long and rich history when it comes to the performing arts,” Iruka explained, falling into teacher mode for a hot second. “There’s a reason they have a whole corps of puppeteer ninja. The owner of the bar is a immigrant from the Land of Wind.”

“What do people sing?” The shinobi world, as I’d mentioned before, lacked any sort of real pop culture besides novels and the occasional movie.

“Traditional songs, generally,” Kakashi said with a shrug. “If people are lazy, they just recite poetry. You can tell someone’s drunk because they’ll try to make up their own ditty on the spot.” Ah, that mischievous twinkle was back in his eye. “But I’m sure any song you come up with will be far prettier than any of that.” 

Flatterer. 

“Waitress is coming ‘round again,” Asuma called down from the end of the table. “Figure out what you’re drinking. Kourubi-chan, you’re not paying for a single drink tonight. You hear?”

“I hear you, Asuma-sensei!” I called back. Turning back to the menu, far larger than the one from last night, I felt my stomach sink. “Just gotta figure out what the fuck any of this is…”

The list of alcohol was extensive. Sparkling wine from the Land of Water, whiskey from the Land of Lightning, tequila from the Land of Wind, vodka from the Land of Earth, sake and shochu from every corner of the Land of Fire. Hell, they even had rum from the Land of Waves! No wonder Gato made a fortune from that tiny country, if it was rum he was exporting. Not to mention the seemingly endless list of cocktails. 

I heard Iruka order a beer from next to me. I looked up to see a young waitress looking at me expectantly. My cheeks heating up, I hurried to find something, anything on the menu that looked appealing. 

“What’s wrong?” Kakashi asked, leaning against me.

“I don’t know what any of this is,” I hissed. “Order something for me.”

“What?”

“Order something for me.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, something fruity or sweet that doesn’t taste like it has a ton of booze but probably totally does.” 

Uh oh, that gleeful look was back in Kakashi’s eye. The look that meant I’d just made a terrible mistake and Kakashi was gonna tease me something fierce. 

“You’re getting a screaming orgasm.” 

What.

Iruka choked on the edamame he’d just popped into his mouth. Everyone at the table decided that NOW was the time to shut their gobs and turn to stare at the three of us. I take it back. I hate Kakashi. With every fiber of my being.

Kakashi turned to the waitress, grin showing prominently through the fabric of his mask. “Gin and tonic for me. And a screaming orgasm for the lady.” 

The waitress did a very good job holding back her obvious desire to roll her eyes before scribbling down the order and moving down the table, where a tipsy Kotetsu ordered a ‘blowjob’, which I could only assume was a shot given his proclaimed love for them. 

“I hate you,” I groaned, hiding my face behind my hands. “I hate you so fucking much.”

Kakashi laughed, throwing an arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer so he could kiss my temple. “Now, now, I thought you told Sasuke just today that you don’t say things you don’t mean.”

“I said I don’t say things I don’t mean about him,” I reminded him tartly. “I can say anything I damn well please about you.” 

The ringing of the bell at the door drowned out Kakashi’s laugh. I looked up and…

Oh.

Oh no.

Why?

Fukuro locked eyes with me. He saw I was here. I couldn’t escape. There were too many people on either side of me. No. No no no nonononononononono.

My shoulder started hurting. I turned my gaze to the table. Was I shaking? My hands looked like they were shaking but I couldn’t feel it. My whole body had gone numb. Except my shoulder. It still hurt. My chest tightened and it felt like I was breathing and suffocating at the same time. I saw Iruka’s hand cover mine more than I felt it. Noises blended into one another, but Hayate and Genma were standing. Gai, too, from the other side of the table. Why was Hayate standing? He didn’t know what had happened. Oh, but he was sitting in front of me. And I was freaking out, wasn’t I? 

Weird. You’d think I’d be less calm about that. 

Fukuro was shouting. It looked like he was trying to get to me. Gai and the others wouldn’t let him. They pushed him back towards the door. Kept pushing. Pushed until he was outside again. Genma turned and said something to the man making our drinks and the waitress. Oh. Someone was calling my name.

“Kourubi!”

Kakashi’s panicked voice broke through the haze and snapped me right back into my own body. The shortness of breath kicked me right in the gut as I came back down. I gasped weakly. Iruka’s hands were holding mine, anchoring me as he whispered reassuring things in my ear. 

“Just breathe, pretty birdie,” he murmured. “Come on. Deep breath. In-two-three. Out-two-three.”

I forced my lungs to comply, breathing in time to Iruka’s counting. My hands felt clammy, but the shaking had stopped at least. The calmer I became, the less Kakashi’s hands on my shoulders shook. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice quieter than before.

“I think I will be,” was the best answer I could give him. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” 

He shook his head, relief in his eye. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

“Do you want to go home?” Iruka asked, one of his hands letting go of mine to brush my hair out of my face. “Or do you feel up for staying?”

“I’m not going to let Fukuro ruin my fun,” I decided. I forced a grin, though it was a good sign that I didn’t have to try too hard. “Besides, Kakashi promised me a screaming orgasm.”

Kakashi, now calm and ready to joke around again in an attempt to move past what had just happened, chuckled lowly in my ear. “You know there’s more than one way I can deliver on that.”

I pushed his face away from my ear. “I believe the phrase is ‘buy me a drink first’.” 

“He’s trying,” Genma laughed, taking his drink from the waitress as she came down the line.

She handed me a short, stout glass of some kind of milky white liquid and ice. I turned it over in my hand, twisting the glass this way and that trying to make my mind up about it before I’d even taken a sip. 

“It’s a shooter, Kourubi-chan!” a tipsy Izumo called from down the table. “You drink it fast or not at all.” I then had the ‘pleasure’ of watching him pantomime giving Kotetsu a blowjob in order to drink the shot his boyfriend had ordered. Lovely. 

Summoning up all the courage that I’d lost the night before after drinking that nasty birthday cake vodka, I downed half the drink in one gulp.

Huh. That actually wasn’t half bad. Tasted a bit like almonds and white chocolate and maybe something fruity. Orange, maybe? Put it in a blender with some ice cream and it’d make a good shake. Kakashi got a smug look on his face after I didn’t immediately react negatively to the drink. 

“How are you liking your screaming orgasm?” he teased.

I shot him a look telling him just how displeased I was with his shenanigans. “I’d like it a lot better if you stopped saying its name like that.” 

Iruka laughed around his beer. Movement on the stage pulled his attention to where a different waitress was setting up some kind of retro looking microphone. “Looks like they’re going to start the karaoke soon. You going to sing for us, Kourubi?” 

“Doesn’t seem fair to make her entertain us on her birthday,” Raido mused, setting his glass of scotch on the table. 

“Is she gonna sing?” Izumo shouted. “Sing something sexy!”

“Ignore him, he’s drunk,” Hyuuga Nami advised, sipping on the one and only glass of wine she’d been nursing the entire evening. Good to see at least one of the medical ninja I knew was responsible. 

“Well…” I finished the rest of my drink, feeling a pleasant, mild buzzing feeling in my limbs. “I guess we can call it a thank you for being kind enough to want to celebrate my birthday with me.”

Izumo and Kotetsu grinned and drunkenly started tugging the tables to the side to make a gap between them just large enough for me to slip through. I walked straight up to the little stage, only just now being vacated by the waitress, who bounced away with a smile. I stepped onto the stage, just one step taller than the rest of the floor around it, taking hold of the microphone. Something sexy, huh? I could do that.

_“Hold on now, this is getting’ kinda serious. This is getting’ kinda out of control, out of control~”_

I could feel their eyes on me, but none of their gazes could match the intensity of my boys’. Kakashi had never been shy with his desires, but with a little booze to loosen him up, even Iruka’s eyes felt like fire. 

_“Slow down now, breathin’ heavy when it’s just a kiss. This is gettin’ kinda out of my hands, out of my hands~”_

My heart thundered in my ears. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from them even as my chest tightened around my lungs. But this was far different from the gasping pain of the panic I’d felt earlier. Instead of cold clawing at my gut, warmth settled a little farther south. This was a new feeling, and it wasn’t unwelcomed by any stretch of the imagination. The music spilling off of my skin, rather than calming me like it usually did, only seemed to work me up more. 

The last note hadn’t even finished fading out when Iruka’s hand was around mine, tugging me down from the stage. His eyes were bright and his face was flushed. I’d never seen him look quite so wild before. 

“We’re going,” he said, his breathing a little ragged. 

“What about the drinks?” I asked, quickly realizing that I wanted to leave too. Wanted to be with them and only them. 

“Kurenai still owes me from last time I bought her drinks,” Kakashi said lowly, pressing up against my side and hurrying us out. Wolf whistles could be heard coming from the table and Nami shouted something about playing it safe just before the door slammed shut behind us. 

The trip home was a blur of snuck kisses and warm and cold hands touching as much of me as they could get away with. The house was dark and quiet, everyone else having gone to bed not long before we’d left for the bar in the first place. Lips met mine, and shaking hands slid up under my shirt as we fell back onto the bed. The kiss broke as my shirt was tugged up and off and suddenly I realized what exactly was happening. 

Kakashi met my eyes, his mask off and flushed face in full view. “Are you nervous?”

I could feel his heartbeat under my hand, could feel Iruka’s warmth pressed up against my bare back. I swallowed thickly and, unable to bring myself to speak, nodded.

Iruka chuckled lowly in my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. “Don’t worry.

“We’ll be gentle.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3c
> 
>  
> 
> Songs Mentioned in This Part- 
> 
> [Favourite Colour by Carly Rae Jepsen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gpGqGHEr_8)


	33. In Which I Can't Keep My Mouth Shut (Which, Let's be Honest, is Nothing New)

I awoke to the sound of chirping birds on the balcony, a strangely pleasant soreness running through my whole body. I groaned and stretched, but didn’t bother getting up from bed. I was comfortable, dammit. 

“Good morning, pretty birdie.” I turned over to see Iruka sitting on the edge of the bed, already dressed in his regulation blues. Did he have work today? “Did you sleep well? You’re not hurting anywhere, are you?”

I hummed sleepily. “No, I’m fine. A little sore, but it’s a nice sore. Which sounds weird, but it’s true.” I pushed myself up onto my elbows to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Are you working today?”

“I’ve got a shift at the missions desk this afternoon,” he answered, turning his head to kiss me properly. 

“I’m going to have to have a word with your supervisor. They’re working you too hard,” I teased. Another kiss. Mmmm, lazy mornings with Iruka kisses? Yes please, I’ll sign up for that subscription box. “I’ll miss you.”

He laughed. I love his laugh. And his smile. And just him in general. “I have no doubt you’d take on the entire Land of Fire if you thought it’d get you what you want. But don’t worry, I’m sure Kakashi wouldn’t mind keeping you company.”

“Speaking of your little partner in crime, where is Kakashi?” I asked, flopping back down on the bed. 

“Getting you breakfast,” Iruka said, “And possibly some pain killers. In case you needed them.” 

“I’m fine,” I assured him, hearing the door open behind him. “Could take on the world, in fact.”

“Good to hear,” Kakashi drawled, coming into my line of sight with a small tray of food in his hands. Not only was he maskless, he was shirtless, probably too lazy to do more than the bare minimum to keep himself decent. Hmmm, shirtless Kakashi bringing me breakfast in bed? I’ll sign up for that subscription box too, thank you. He smiled at me, and for the first time I noticed how prominent his canines were. God, he really was a wolf. Or puppy, depending on when you caught him, I suppose. “I come bearing breakfast in bed for the princess.” 

I frowned, well… pouted might be the more accurate term, at him. “I thought I told you not to call me that.” 

He and Iruka shared a look before turning back to smirk at me. “You didn’t seem to mind last night.” 

My face exploded with embarrassed heat as memories, having been hidden behind the clouds of sleep, came rushing back to me. I groaned, tugging the covers over my head in an attempt to hide. Thank god they’d used ‘ojou-sama’ instead of ‘hime’ or I’d never be able to face my clan again. 

“I can not be held responsible for the shit I allowed in the heat of the moment while buzzed!” I shouted, though the blanket probably muffled it for them. “Who pulls out shit like that the first time anyway?!”

They laughed, because of course they did, the bastards. 

“To be fair,” Iruka offered, “You had said we were treating you like a princess. We just kind of ran with it.” 

I had no response for that. So I simply whimpered pitifully, hoping they’d stop being so mean if I sounded pathetic enough. 

The sound of the front door being violently thrown open made me jump, tossing the blanket back as I shot up into a sitting position. I ignored the slight twinge in my lower back and rushed to throw on the closest article of clothing to the bed, suddenly hyper aware of my own nudity. Or, partial nudity, at least. Someone had been nice enough to fetch me a pair of clean panties sometime after our fun. Probably Kakashi, considering it was the pair with minty green stars that had become his favorite over the past few months. 

“Where is she?!” Oh god, it was Ryou. “I know what happened last night, Genma told me everything!”

Genma, you evil little snitch!

I tugged on whatever I’d grabbed off the floor (Kakashi’s shirt from the day before) and threw open my balcony door. I spared one last look over my shoulder at my very confused boyfriends and hissed “sorry” before slamming the balcony door shut and ninja parkour-ing up onto the roof. 

Where I found Kamome just sitting there awkwardly.

“Good morning, hime.” 

“Shhhhhhh!” I hissed. “I’m hiding from Ryou. Don’t let him hear that I’m up here.”

Bless Kamome that she was innocent enough to look confused and concerned. “Why are you hiding from your friend?”

I tugged Kakashi’s shirt down as far as it would go. “Because he wants to talk about my burgeoning sex life and I’m not really comfortable with doing so. At least not right now.”

Kamome’s brow arched in a frustratingly elegant manner. “And you won’t just tell him that because?”

“Because he probably broke the front door in his quest to get me to talk,” I said flatly. 

“Fair enough.”

“So what are you doing here?” I asked.

Kamome shuffled awkwardly. “Well, I had something to report about the whole Isoshigi thing, but I, uh, realized you were probably busy. Or still asleep.”

It was my turn to arch a brow. “So you decided to sit on my roof until you could tell if I was up and decent or not?”

“It’s an ANBU habit.” At least she looked sheepish about the whole thing. 

I could still hear Ryou shouting down below. I thought I could hear Mai, too. She was probably making snide comments to Kakashi or Sasuke, because Iruka was shouting back at Ryou. That was one of the nice things about Iruka, he could give as good as he gets when it comes to arguments and shouting. Seemed I had time to kill. 

“Just give me the report,” I said. 

She nodded. “Very well. I tailed Isoshigi as you requested, and kept a log of the dates he visited Fukuro, either at his place of employment or the small apartment he now lives in. I then took the dates to the accountants, and it turns out that Isoshigi was withdrawing small amounts of money either on those days, or on the day before, even after having gotten his usual weekly money.”

So he had been helping finance Fukuro. A part of me admired the loyalty he showed to his son. The rest of me, however, hated that he continued to show such loyalty after everything that had happened. Why couldn’t he be that loyal to me? I was clan head after all. Why did they all seem to hate me even before I did anything?

“Have the accountants restrict his withdrawals to his weekly spending money, and only what he’d usually get. See if we can’t break him of the habit. If he complains, ask him what he needed the extra money for, anyway. It’s not like he has to worry about Fukuro’s expenses now, anyway.” 

“Hai, Kourubi-hime.” And with that, she was gone in a flurry of leaves. I sighed heavily. Why couldn’t things ever be easy? Why couldn’t they just accept my judgment and move on? It wasn’t like I’d been unreasonable. I’d banished him from the clan for trying to rape me. They should be happy I didn’t kill him. This was what I got for trying to emulate Hanako. Woman wasn’t a person; she was a damn angel. 

“Nee-san.” I leaned over just far enough to see Sasuke standing on the balcony. “Mai finally dragged Ryou away. It’s safe to come down now.”

“Thank god,” I muttered, taking care to dismount the roof without flashing Sasuke. “I’ll let him calm down a bit before I deal with any of that.” I turned back to my room, Kakashi had set the tray of food on one of the chest of drawers in my room, and was currently hiding his face with his book. I snickered. “Did you manage to hide your face in time, babe?” 

“As a matter of fact, I did,” he retorted. “Get in here so you can have breakfast in bed like I planned.” 

“I still hate the fact you’re dating him,” Sasuke informed me dryly. “But I guess if he brings you food in bed he’s not that bad.”

One of these days, I was going to have to sit down and interrogate Sasuke on why he was so grumpy about me dating Kakashi. 

“You never really had any say in the situation,” I shot back. “But I’m glad you approve.”

“I never said that.”

 

Sasuke and I stood before Tsunade as she scrambled to finish some paperwork, Shizune breathing down her neck. We were supposed to be heading down to the archive so Tsunade could key the seals to our chakra signatures, but apparently Tsunade forgot about her other obligations. I rolled my eyes skyward; gods save me from bureaucracy. 

Tsunade slammed the very last sheet of paper into her outbox and sat back with a tired sigh. She took a minute to revel in the fact she’d finished before sitting forward and turning her attention to us. 

“Right, good to see you showed up on time,” she said by way of greeting. “Considering how much time the two of you spend with the Hatake brat, I was starting to worry his bad habits would rub off on you.”

“I doubt that will happen,” I assured her. “I hate being late.” 

“Good to hear; maybe your habits will rub off on him.” Tsunade reached down to open a drawer and pull out a very old looking key. “Now…”

The doors behind us opened, and the sound of footsteps and the distinct click-clack of a cane reached my ears. I forced myself not to turn and stare as Shimura Danzo came into view.

“Hokage-sama, I’ve brought my proposal for ANBU trial reforms,” he said, his voice deceptively polite and without the malice or bitterness I knew was waiting just under the surface. He caught sight of the old key and then turned, his eye landing on Sasuke and me. “These are the ones you have chosen to staff the archive? Shouldn’t you choose someone with more experience and qualifications? If necessary, I can draw up a list of candidates.”

Tsunade made to retort, but I beat her to it. “I believe the Hokage did not ask for your opinion, Danzo.”

Every eye in the room turned towards me. Shizune’s jaw dropped. Tsunade, however, schooled her expression into one of mild interest. And while Danzo’s expression didn’t change, I could feel the contempt rolling off him in waves. 

Well, might as well take this chance and run with it. “But since we’re throwing out opinions no one asked for, I’m of the opinion that you are far too comfortable in your position, Danzo, and if Tsunade-sama had as much sense as I like to think she does, she’d replace you and the rest of the council with fresh eyes and humbler hearts.” I smiled pleasantly. “But that’s just my opinion.” 

A heavy silence fell over the room, and I had to clench my hands behind my back to keep them from shaking. That was stupid. I was stupid. 

“Danzo,” Tsunade said smoothly, “leave your proposal and get out. I’m busy.” 

Danzo scowled, though that might just be how his face usually was, and dropped the paper in Tsunade’s inbox before marching out with as much dignity as he could muster, glaring at me as he went. I kept my eyes on the window behind Tsunade. The door slammed shut, making Shizune wince. 

“You’re playing a dangerous game, Karasuno,” Tsunade warned.

“And Danzo would have an army of clan heirs knocking down his door if anything happened to me,” I replied with conviction. 

“It’s true,” Sasuke agreed, a smug smirk on his face. “Nee-san is well liked.”

“That’s an understatement if I’ve ever heard one,” Tsunade muttered. She pushed herself up from her desk, grabbing the key once more. “Follow me.” 

Follow her we did, down from the top of the Hokage tower, down into the regular administration offices, past the mission desk (pausing only a moment to wave to Iruka), and even farther down. Down stairs I hadn’t known existed. Why did all basement hallways look spooky as hell? If I’d known I’d been walking down the hallway into hell every day to get to work, I wouldn’t have taken the job.

Okay, that was probably a lie. But still! Spooky hallways suck. 

Tsunade finally stopped in front to two large doors positively covered in seals and wards. They looked ancient, like they were here before Konoha even existed and the village was just built around it. Tsunade inserted the key into a small keyhole, out of which all the seals seem to originate, pushing a small bit of chakra into the seals as she did. 

“Karasuno, place your hand on the key and feed it some chakra. When you’re done, Uchiha can do the same.” 

I stepped forward to take the key in hand, feeling it pulse with Tsunade’s chakra just underneath its surface. I let my own chakra reach out to meet it, swelling before it broke against the seals like the tide against a beach. The seals on the doors glowed and thrummed before fading. I stepped back to let Sasuke try his hand. His chakra was far less focused, spilling out and licking at the air like a campfire, the spark of something wilder underneath it.

“Good,” Tsunade praised with a small nod. “Now you’ll never need the key again until your time in the archive is up. The seals will recognize your chakra signatures and allow you in regardless of whether or not the key is present.” She shoved the doors open, leading us into a darkly lit, cavernous room. Shelves filled with books and scrolls went on as far as I could see. A small desk sat just before us, several boxes stacked around it. 

“Sometimes an investigation will call for a document we have archived here,” Tsunade explained. “It’s rare, but it happens. When it does, the person will have written permission from me for those documents and those documents alone. They will knock on the door and one of you will either allow them in, or take the permission slip from them at the door. It’s your choice. They are not allowed past this front desk. Most your time will be spent unpacking these boxes and organizing their contents.”

“And when we finish with that?” Sasuke asked, nudging at a box with his foot.

“By that point your three months will likely be up,” she answered. “You can stay on after that if you’d like, but I won’t require it. If you do stay, well, there’s always new reports coming in.” 

She turned to us, a sharp look in her eyes. “I’m trusting you two with a lot of confidential information here. Don’t make me regret it.” 

 

The first thing we did was find where the full shelves ended and the empty ones began. A wheeled cart helped with moving the boxes closer to where their contents would be stored. 

“How are we sorting these?” Sasuke asked, opening a box and frowning at how full it was.

I hummed thoughtfully. “I’ll go see how the other stuff is set up. You get started with finding out what’s what. Separate it into two piles: official documents and personal records. We’ll figure things out from there.” 

I wandered back towards the front, ducking down aisles and pulling documents from shelves at random to try and get a read on how the previous archivers had done things. After a while, I discovered, with much frustration, that the previous workers hadn’t organized things much at all. Personal logs were thrown in with mission reports and scrolls of jutsu that Hokage had invented. It was nuts. I growled in frustration as I shoved another scroll of mission reports back onto the shelf. What kind of library just threw things on the shelves as they got them?!

“What did you find?” Sasuke asked when I wandered back some two hours later. 

“That the people who worked here before gave no shits,” I snapped. “Maybe it’s supposed to be confusing incase anyone broke in, but how the hell do they expect us to do our jobs this way?”

Sasuke shrugged, opening another notebook and scanning it before setting it aside. “I assume we’ll at least be organized.”

“Of course! Two sections, just like you’re already doing it. And we’ll do it chronologically. Oldest stuff first.” I sat down across from him and started rummaging through the nearest open box. “Here, I’ll help.” 

 

“How long have we been at this?” I asked suddenly, feeling a headache coming on just behind my eyes.

Sasuke looked up from the scroll he was reading and thought for a moment. “Five hours.”

I groaned, rubbing at my eyes. The two piles we’d started were gigantic, but it didn’t feel like we were any closer to being done. We’d emptied something like five boxes and there were at least a dozen left. No wonder Tsunade thought it’d take us three months to get through everything. The Third’s reign was fucking long, which meant there was a shit ton to go through.

“We’re done for today,” I decided. “Leave it where it is. We’ll come back tomorrow after I rest my eyes. They need better lighting in here.” 

It was still light outside when we exited the building, squinting against the brightness. It couldn’t have been long after five in the evening. Time had both flown and dragged on down in the archive. I could have sworn it was meant to be much later than it was. 

There was a commotion in front of the house when we passed through the compound gate. I could see Kakashi’s shock of silver hair in front of the door. I heard tou-san’s voice bellow at everyone to calm down. My eyes flickered up to the roof, where Kamome was lurking in the shadows of the trees like she always seemed to be nowadays. 

“What’s going on?” I shouted as we approached, catching everyone’s attention. 

The crowd, obviously spectators now that I got closer, parted and let me through. I caught sight of Chouko-san with Kakesu at her side towards the back, a disappointed look on her face. In the center of the circle were Isoshigi and his wife. Isoshigi whirled on me, nearly shoving his wife to the side to get to me.

“How DARE you!” he seethed. “What right do you have to cut off my access to the money that is rightfully mine?”

“Every right,” I informed him coolly. “You run a clan owned operation. The money is the clan’s first and yours second. And you were taking money and handing it over to an enemy of the clan.”

“Enemy of the-? That’s my son you’re talking about!”

“That’s my rapist I’m talking about,” I snapped in return. “And he is no longer a member of our clan. I told you from the beginning you were not to aide him, financially or otherwise. You have shown blatant disrespect for both me and the clan as a whole by ignoring my orders. You’re lucky I left you with any access to your funds!” 

Isoshigi’s eyes narrowed as he focused on the one part of my argument that he could pick apart. “But he didn’t actually rape you, hime, you said so yourself.”

Were we really going to do this? “He would have if I hadn’t taken action. He attempted to force himself on me. And those actions have left a lasting scar. Last time I saw him I had a panic attack so bad that I dissociated. Do you understand how terrifying that is?”

“Sounds like you’re just too weak to –“ His words were cut off by a fist connecting with his jaw. I jumped back, catching sight of tou-san reaching out to pull Iruka back. I hadn’t even realized he was here. 

“Don’t you dare say that!” he shouted at Isoshigi. His face was red with rage, a very different look from when his cheeks turned red because he was flustered. His hands were clenched into shaking fists. If tou-san wasn’t holding him back, I was certain he’d hit Isoshigi again. I’d never, ever seen him this angry. It was…frightening. “You weren’t there! You didn’t see what it did to her! You didn’t feel her hands shake! Anyone who could go through what she did and manage to move past it and smile has a strength that someone like you isn’t capable of!” 

Heat and cold warred in my gut, unable to decide whether I felt joy for Iruka’s forceful defense, or distraught that Isoshigi’s views could be shared by others. What if they saw me as weak? What would they do? What could they do? 

Isoshigi spat on the ground, blood and saliva pooling on the pebbled walkway. Straightening, he turned and grabbed at his wife’s wrist, attempting to leave now that he was both morally and physically beaten. But then I saw it. A flash of dark bruising under his wife’s collar. 

“Hold on a second!” I reached out and grasped her arm gently, just enough to pull her back a bit. I reached up and pushed the collar of her yukata aside, revealing even more bruises. “What the hell?” 

Tou-san’s eyes went wide. Chouko pushed through the crowd, shoving Isoshigi away from his wife (WHAT WAS HER NAME?!) with enough force to knock him prone. She then turned to the other woman and spoke in soft tones. It was then I noticed that she was shaking under my hand. I helped to right her yukata and then immediately backed away. Instead, my attention went to Isoshigi.

“Grab him!” 

It was Kakesu who moved, wrangling Isoshigi into a hold I’d seen Chouji use in sparring matches. 

“Take him home. Make sure he doesn’t leave.” 

Tou-san’s hand landed on my shoulder. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted quietly. “I need to figure out what I can do.”

He nodded, his expression solemn. “But first, we should probably deal with Ahiru-san.” 

That was her name. Ahiru. God, she looked so tiny. She had to be twice my age, but she was so much smaller than I was. So much more delicate. I was a trained shinobi, had been practically my whole life. She was a civilian, never meant to be anything other than tiny and delicate. But seeing how Isoshigi treated her, I was starting to understand where Fukuro got his attitude.

“We need to keep her somewhere safe, with someone who she feels comfortable talking to,” I decided. “I need to know what I think happened is what actually happened.”

“I’ll take care of her,” Chouko volunteered before I could even ask. “I’m no kunoichi, but I’m more than enough to keep a frail old fool like Isoshigi away.”

I nodded. “Thank you.” 

The crowd dispersed and I turned to the house. There was so much I needed to do, needed to know. I made my way to tou-san’s office. Well…I suppose at this point it was my office. I pulled a thick tome of clan laws from the shelf, letting it fall onto the desk with a loud slamming noise. 

“What are you doing?” 

I looked up to see that tou-san, Kakashi, Iruka, and Sasuke had all followed me into the office.

“Figuring out what I can do,” I answered, flipping open the book and skimming through the pages.

“Can’t you just kick him out of the clan like you did his asshole of a son?” Sasuke asked.

“Oh, I’m definitely going to do that,” I assured him, a dark bitterness I didn’t like in my voice. “But that only does so much. I want…I want to see if I can force an annulment of their marriage. So Ahiru-san can move on and maybe find some happiness someday without having to deal with him later because we forgot they were still married!” 

“There’s also the issue of the bookshop,” tou-san reminded. “Isoshigi and Fukuro’s names were on the deed, but not Ahiru’s. You’ll need to transfer proprietorship over to her.” He paused, and I knew I was going to hate what he said next. “And that requires agreement from the council.”

FUCK!

“The universe hates me,” I seethed. “Of course I’d need the council FOUR DAYS after I told them all to fuck off.”

Tou-san gently pushed my hands away from the book and flipped to the proper pages. “See, you need at least two other members of the council to sign off on any of these forms. These were put in place around my father’s time, to keep the clan head from abusing their power.” 

“Dammit. I’m not letting them back into the council,” I said plainly. “They’re dicks and I have no idea why you kept them around for so long.”

Tou-san shrugged helplessly. “I was young like you when I became clan head. But unlike you, I didn’t have my father to guide me. They were his council; they knew what to do. So I let them stay.”

“They hate me.”

“They don’t hate you,” he assured me. “You’ve just become very abrasive since the chunin exams. You speak your mind in a way they aren’t used to. They’ll come to respect you eventually.”

“They should respect me now,” I grumbled. I sat back in my chair, looking about the room for some kind of answer.

And somehow I found it.

“Kakashi!” I stood suddenly. “Hand me that large scroll there on the top shelf. That should be the most up to date clan registry. Quickly, please!”

He did as I asked, a curious look on his face. “What are you doing?”

“If I need a council, then I’ll make a council,” I muttered, scribbling names down on a piece of paper. Names of people I knew. Names of people I could trust. “Kamome!”

She appeared in a flurry of leaves just outside the open window. “Yes, hime-sama?”

I turned and handed her the paper in an appropriately grand gesture. “Give this message to the people on the list.”

Kamome scanned the paper, her eyes going wide. “But, hime, my name is –“

I smiled at her, my confidence growing. “I know.”

She looked absolutely flummoxed. “Why…”

“Because you’re my friend,” I reminded her. “And I trust you.” 

Something shimmered in her pale coffee eyes. I couldn’t place it, but the feeling settled in her cheeks, flushing them a pretty pink. “I won’t let you down…Kourubi-sama.”

Oh. That was different. That…that felt better in my ears. More mature, more like a real leader than a little girl playing at one. 

“I know you won’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh stuff. Stuff is happening. Are you starting to see the arc that I'm piecing together? You might be. Anyway, let me know what you think about these new developments in the comments below!
> 
> Also, don't forget to check out the MFAW tumblr [here.](http://melodyfromanotherworld.tumblr.com/) I just recently did a whole bunch of prompt ficlets. They're super cute. You should read them.


	34. In Which a Story is Told

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm back with another update. Lots of Karasuno clan folks are brought up this chapter, so I wanted to direct you to [ this post here](http://melodyfromanotherworld.tumblr.com/post/156632708253/karasuno-clan-members). It should list most of the major players there. It might be in need of an update, lol. Anyway, enjoy the chapter. Let me know what you think in the comments! Bye!

They gathered in the audience room, sitting before me with expressions that showed that they were pleased, but wholly unsurprised. My mother and father sat to my right, Kakashi and Iruka to my left. Before me, his shoulders thrown back and a proud smirk on his lips, was Sasuke. Flanking him was my new council. Kamome in her ANBU uniform, her raven mask on the floor before her along with her tanto. Kasasagi in her pastel yukata, deft hands folded on her lap, smiled serenely. Kiui in her lab coat, carmine hair loose around her shoulders, fiddled with something in her pocket, probably a pack of cigarettes. Sukua in his brilliant green haori, the only one even partially surprised, met my eyes steadily. 

“Thank you for coming,” I greeted them, bowing my head slightly. They returned my greeting by bowing deeply, even Sasuke, and I had to fight back the tightness in my throat that always came before the tears. “I think you all know something needs to be done about Isoshigi. Oh – hello, Chouko-san.”

Chouko stepped into the room, her arm around a still trembling Ahiru’s shoulders. Ahiru’s eyes were puffy from crying, but she held herself with much more confidence then she had in Isoshigi’s presence. 

“How are you feeling, Ahiru-san?” I asked. 

“Better, I think,” she answered and I was so proud that her voice didn’t shake. “Ready to speak, if you will let me, Kourubi-sama.”

“Of course,” I said gently, gesturing to the space between Sasuke and I. “Please, in order to take the proper action, I need to know what happened. Or, as much as you are willing to tell.” 

She nodded, settling into a perfect seiza. “Our marriage had been arranged by our parents. I had no real aspirations of marriage. The idea of…’wifely duties’ appalled me.” 

If I was interpreting ‘wifely duties’ properly, then Ahiru-san was probably sex repulsed in some way. Or at least wholly uninterested in the idea. 

“But had hoped that my companionship would be enough for Isoshigi. And while we were courting, it was.” Ahiru took a deep, shuddering breath. “But that all changed our wedding night. He expected me to bend to his desires and bear him a child. Or…as he had hoped, many children. He would only allow me to refuse so many times before his patience broke. I will…spare you the details. After I gave birth to Fukuro…I had some reprieve. Isoshigi was a terrible husband, but he was a very doting father. I…I should have been more proactive in Fukuro’s life. Maybe then he would not have taken everything his father said to heart. But, by the time I recognized my error, it was too late. Isoshigi had taught Fukuro that women were weak, in need of a man’s strong guiding hand. He was the only boy of your generation by the time you were born, so Isoshigi convinced him that it was his duty to be your guiding hand. Even if you were to resist, it was his duty as the oldest boy of the generation.”

I felt that cold, sinking sensation in my gut again. Ahiru’s story felt so familiar, as if I’d heard it a million times before. How could we have been so blind to her plight? 

“As you grew older, you became more independent, longing for something beyond what the clan promised you,” she continued, her voice just barely above a whisper. What had Kourubi been hoping for? Did it have something to do with why we switched? “And then, you brought home Sasuke-kun. And you began pushing back harder against not only my son, but also anyone who spoke over you. You were angry instead of distant. Distant had been acceptable. Fukuro felt he could control distant. But angry…he couldn’t stand angry. And then you began your relationship with Kakashi-san and Iruka-sensei. Fukuro feared losing you to the strong hand of another man. In all his years of pursuing you, being the eldest boy, he had grown to think of the duty his father described to him as his destiny. It is not an excuse for his actions…but I felt you should know.”

“Thank you.” I meant it sincerely. While it in no way excused his actions, it certainly did a lot to explain them. And for that I was grateful. 

“When Isoshigi began to push for another child, I began seeking ways to stop him,” she continued. “By that point, Kiui-chan was training as a medical ninja. I went to her, and she began administering birth control for me every three months.”

My eyes shot to Kiui. “The infiltrator’s dosage?”

Kiui shrugged, her face twisting into something regret filled. “She said she wanted to keep Isoshigi from finding out. I thought he was just being pushy about having another kid. I hadn’t realized…”

Ahiru shook her head. “You were young, you could not have known.” She turned back to me. “Eventually he gave up on me as a breeding partner. It did not stop his rough treatment of me, as you can see.” 

“I can.” I wished I could see it earlier. I sat back, having heard all I needed to. “Thank you, Ahiru-san, I know what I need to do. And…it isn’t much of a consolation, but I would like to offer you the final spot on my council.”

She jerked her head up, pretty hazel eyes wide. It would make sense that Fukuro’s best features, the bits that made up the pretty façade around his shit personality, came from his mother. “W-why would you –?”

I produced the paperwork from my obi, a triumphant smirk on my face. “Because imagine Isoshigi’s face when he sees your name on all this.”

 

The whole clan was gathered, or at least everyone who was around and could fit into the audience room and the engawa. Isoshigi sat before me, looking far more poised than his son had the last time the clan had gathered in my house. His eyes burned with disgust towards me, but I refused to cower before him. Before, I’d been something of a marshmallow. Conflict was not something I’d liked, and it often drove me to tears. But I didn’t have the luxury of that anymore. Conflict was a constant in my life now, and I refused to let men like Isoshigi drive me to tears. 

“Isoshigi, we have come to a decision,” I said calmly, though I didn’t try to hide my smug smirk. “Since you seem to care about your son so much, you are now able to join him. You, too, will be banished from the clan. Your holdings, monetary or otherwise, will be transferred to Ahiru-san. And your marriage has been annulled.”

That last bit made something in Isoshigi’s face twitch obscenely. “I beg your pardon, child, but you don’t have the authority to do that. Not without council approval.”

My smirk turned into a feral smile, all teeth and zero kindness. “Ah, well, I do have council approval.”

“No, you don’t! You dissolved the council four days ago, child. Or did you forget?”

My smile didn’t waver. “Not a child,” I reminded him coldly. “And the clan head has the authority to create a new council as they see fit. And I have.” I gestured to the clan members on either side of me. Sasuke looked particularly smug, reminding me a bit too much of the version of him I was trying to avoid. “And they were more than happy to sign the necessary paperwork. See?” I pulled the paper from my obi, waving them in Isoshigi’s face. He reached out and snatched them from my hands, his eyes going wide with shock and rage as he read the names of who’d signed the forms.

Having Sasuke and Ahiru sign them was a stroke of genius on my part, if I do say so. 

“Now you can join your son, which is what you wanted, isn’t it?” I asked, my voice steely despite the smile I’d plastered on my face. “Since you love him so much. So much that you forced yourself on your wife time and time again to get him.” 

The gathered clansmen gasped and began whispering among themselves. 

“You may leave…ah, actually, just a moment.” I stood, taking the kunai Iruka offered me. “For the barrier.” I gripped his hair tightly in my hand, making sure to tug on his roots. The kunai was sharp, making a surprisingly clean cut through his hair. 

“Get out.”

“What about my things?” he demanded. “You allowed Fukuro to keep his things.” 

“Fukuro was a first time offender,” I explained. “You are most certainly not. Get out.” 

 

I rubbed at my neck, stiff from bending over all these documents. We’d finally gotten through all the boxes and sorted them into our two rudimentary groups. It’d taken us the better part of two weeks to get through all of them. Each and every box had been packed to the brim, and some of the scrolls had been storage scrolls that contained even more documents for us to skim. It was honestly ridiculous. 

“Now what?” Sasuke asked. “Are we going to have read them some more?”

“Yeah,” I admitted with a groan. “Gotta figure out the chronology of these before we put them up on the shelves. You get started on the personal stuff, I’ll see what I can get done of the official documents.” I was being nice. There were far fewer personal logs than official ones. The fact that I was hoping to find some small inconsistences to pin on Danzo had nothing to do with it. Okay, it had everything to do with it, but whatever. 

I picked up the closest mission log and began thumbing through it. It was from late in the Sandaime’s reign, most D-ranked stuff. I put it on the bottom of the cart. I repeated the actions for the next couple of logs, putting them on different parts of the cart depending on when they were dated. I ended up coming across the ANBU mission logs from the week of the Uchiha clan massacre.

I swallowed thickly. This. This could be my answer, or part of it, at least. ANBU mission logs where seen by exactly three people: the head of ANBU, the Hokage, and the archivers. If Danzo tried to sneak anything through, it’d be here. There were a dozen assassinations that week of particularly nasty politicians and crime lords. None of that interested me. My eyes landed on the mission log for the ANBU squad they sent to investigate the massacre’s aftermath. ANBU squads worked in sets of four just like any other shinobi squad. 

So why did witness testimonies mention six shinobi? 

My heart clenched in my chest. Had Danzo sent Root ANBU to the scene? That was the only explanation I could come up with. ANBU were too meticulous to just let two extra shinobi come along (It was groups of four or not at all, at least when in the village). I looked through the other mission reports. No ANBU patrol was going that evening. There was no reason to, after all. ANBU patrols only ever occurred during times of high risk. So it wasn’t as if the two ANBU happened to be part of a nearby patrol – no – these were definitely Root shinobi. 

A soft gasp caught my attention. I turned my gaze in the direction of the sound and felt dread claw its way into my stomach. With trembling hands and wide eyes, Sasuke looked even paler than he did otherwise. He stared in shock and horror at whatever was on the page before him, tears welling up in the corners of his eyes.

“Sasuke?” I stood quickly, running around the table to wrap an arm about his shoulders. “What is it? What did you find?”

He trembled in my arms. He hadn’t done that in a long time. “You…” He swallowed thickly. “You were right.” 

I had to reach out to steady the journal in his hand to figure out what he was talking about. My blood ran cold as I read the words on the page.

_Itachi acted as ordered tonight. I wish there had been more time to try other avenues, but it seems Danzo was too impatient. The Uchiha clan is no more, save but for Itachi and young Sasuke._

There it was. The proof I needed, written plain as day in the Third’s handwriting. I only wished that Sasuke hadn’t been the one to find it. 

“We need to tell Tsunade,” I muttered to myself, but the way Sasuke shifted in my arms told me he heard. I needed to go to Tsunade, but I also needed to stay with Sasuke. Summoning my chakra, I created a shadow clone. 

“Stay with Sasuke,” I ordered it, removing myself from Sasuke’s space. “I’m going to get Tsunade.”

 

Stairs. Too many goddamn stairs between me and Tsunade’s office. I sprinted past the missions desk, near empty at this time of day, past the administrative offices of the Intelligence Division and the code breakers. Up higher and higher, my calves burning in protest by the time I reached the penultimate flight of stairs and found myself pulled into an empty meeting room by a near panicked looking Genma.

“What did you do?!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I hissed back, pissed that I’d been interrupted when I was so damn close.

“What did you say to Tsunade?” he asked again. “I know you said something, because otherwise Danzo would not be cursing your name under his breath after coming out of the office.”

Fear settled heavy and cold in my chest. “He came in spouting opinions no one asked for when Sasuke and I came in a few weeks ago to get set up in the archive. So I told him to fuck off in the nicest way possible and said that if Tsunade had as much sense as I thought she did, she’d wipe the council clear and start over.”

I hadn’t expected her to actually do it. 

“You said that to his face?” Genma gaped at me like I just told him that I kicked puppies for fun. “Are you nuts? You don’t mess with Danzo, Kourubi!”

“Yeah, well, I’m about to mess with him more,” I told him. “Because we just found evidence in the archive that he ordered the massacre of the Uchiha clan.” 

Genma paled, his face setting into something determined and icily angry. He grabbed my arm and pulled me out. “Let’s go. Hopefully Tsunade’s in the mood for some bad news.” 

 

It didn’t take much to get Tsunade moving. All I had to mention was Danzo and the massacre and she nearly jumped from her chair. I led her and Genma down to the archive, explaining how we’d gotten to the point we were at. I threw the door open, rushing deep into the archive to release my clone and give Sasuke some real comfort. 

I found him curled into a ball, his shoulders shaking with silent tears. My clone had her hands on his shoulders, making soft shushing noises that meant nothing. I cut the jutsu off, her memories flooding back to me. Memories of Sasuke’s total breakdown as his whole worldview fell apart around him. Dammit, I should have been there. 

I pulled him from the ball he’d curled into, pressing his tear-streaked face into my neck, letting him muffle his sobs against my skin. I tossed the journal Tsunade’s way with a disgusted face. I watched with bitter glee as her expression became more and more horrified the farther along she read. Hiruzen had been fucking meticulous with his journal keeping, perhaps to keep himself from forgetting the atrocities committed under his administration. 

“There’s also the ANBU mission logs from that night,” I said, only barely keeping my anger from leaking into my voice. “There were two more ANBU shinobi at the scene that night then there should have been. Considering Danzo’s involved, my suspicions are that the two extra ANBU were Root.” 

The sound of Genma’s senbon clattering to the ground sounded much louder than it should have. My eyes met his, seeing the fear in them. Genma had been ANBU at one point, I was sure of it. Maybe he still was. No tokubetsu jonin with an assassin’s skill set was ever _not_ in ANBU at some point or another. And Root was something of an ANBU boogieman. Never officially talked about, but there were always whispers. Considering Yamato had been part of Root when he was a child, there was no way that Kakashi didn’t know about it. And while Kakashi didn’t gossip the way Genma did, there was no way he hadn’t shared the information about its existence with the people he trusted. 

“What do we do?” Genma asked, his voice just barely above a whisper, but even that was too loud in the near silent archive. 

“Get better weed killer,” I said snidely. “Because the one we’ve got isn’t getting to the root.” 

 

Tsunade sent Sasuke and me home shortly after that, gathering up all the documents we’d been dealing with that day in order to launch a full investigation. Danzo had already been removed from his most public seats of power as a member of the council and his position as head of ANBU. That would make most of the investigation go much smoother. Tsunade had more than enough proof to lock up Danzo for a long-ass time for treason, but Tsunade was nothing if not thorough. She wanted to know everything. 

In that capacity, our mission in the archive had changed. We were no longer simply organizers. We were detectives, searching every single log for evidence of Danzo’s treason. And, as an unfortunate side effect, for evidence of the Third’s negligence. We were well aware of the Third’s fondness for his former teammate (or, at least, I was), and how that had led him to being lenient when anyone else would have thrown Danzo in the slammer a long time ago. 

I couldn’t even begin to imagine what I would have done in Hiruzen’s position. If someone I had once trusted betrayed me…I didn’t want to think about it. If I was lucky, I’d never have to find out what I’d do. I’d already had enough of betrayal from my clansmen, even if they weren’t exactly the ones I’d put my faith in. 

The house was quiet when we returned, everyone off working, or running missions, or what have you. It was almost too quiet. But at least I didn’t have to explain anything just yet.

“Put your pajamas on,” I said to Sasuke, firm enough that it was a clear order, but gentle enough to not spook him. The last thing I needed was Sasuke running off to do god knows what. 

He did as he was told, coming into my room soon after I’d also changed. I sat on the bed, patting the space beside me.

“We haven’t done this in a while,” I murmured. “But I think what happened today calls for it.” 

We lay down together, Sasuke tucking his head into my shoulder and holding me so tight I was worried he might crack a rib. We were quiet for a long time, unsure what to say to each other. What could you say in this kind of situation? I petted his hair, so much longer than it’d ever been in canon. He was well on his way to looking like Itachi. 

“You were right.”

I blinked, my attention drawn more fully to Sasuke. I’d only barely heard him; he’d been so quiet. I sighed, my gaze staring off into the empty air.

“Sometimes I wish I wasn’t.” 

“How?” he demanded, a little louder. “How could you have known?”

Welp, that was the million-dollar question, wasn’t it? I could tell him the truth; he already knew half of it already, after all – no. I wasn’t going to burden him with that.

“I’m pretty smart when it comes to people,” I said instead. “Itachi was at the academy the same time I was, after all, if only for a short time. He never really seemed like the kind of person who wanted to hurt people. I was just old enough to remember the night of the Kyuubi attack, but the aftermath was what really stuck out in my mind. The Uchiha were tolerated before because they were one of the founding clans and the Senju weren’t really around anymore. But after the attack…that tolerance was tinged with something dark and untrusting. They were pushed back into their district, treated poorly by most, but especially civilians. They were given control over the military police, but that seemed more like a way to keep an eye on them than an actual peace offering. And then one night they ended up dead, with little to no investigation into the why or how. Anyone with half a brain should have been suspicious. But everyone trusted the Hokage and his council, and let it drop.”

Until Tsunade, that was. Thank god for Tsunade. 

“What do we do?” he asked, placated for the time being. 

“We do our jobs, and find Tsunade every single speck of dirt we can find,” I said with conviction. “And we take Danzo down.” 

 

I don’t know how long I lay awake, simply holding Sasuke as he slept. He slept far more peacefully than I’d expected. Some part of me wanted to chalk that up to my presence but I couldn’t be sure. He shifted at the sound of the door opening, but didn’t wake, and I looked up to see Kakashi and Iruka peeking into the room, their expressions clouded with concern.

“You haven’t done this is a while,” Iruka murmured, stepping more fully into the room. “What happened?”

Not wanting to have this conversation while lying down, I slipped out of Sasuke’s grip, replacing myself with a pillow. I scooted to sit on the edge of the bed, waiting until Kakashi shut the door behind him before saying anything.

“We found evidence today in the archive that Danzo ordered the genocide of the Uchiha clan, written by the Third himself.” 

The two immediately stiffened at my words, eyes wide and fists clenched. Iruka’s hands shook minutely, but Kakashi was deathly still. Not only had I just condemned someone who’d been seen as a near legendary shinobi, but also I’d flat out said that the Third had known about it. 

“Apparently they were trying to put together some kind of peace talks,” I explained. “But Danzo got impatient and told Itachi it was either his clan or the village. Itachi chose the village.” 

“I can’t believe it,” Iruka whispered, a shocked hand covering his mouth and muffling his speech even more. “You were right.”

I let loose a short, bitter laugh. “It’s been known to happen.”

“So,” Kakashi said, seeming to hesitate for a moment, “what happens next?” 

My eyes fell to the hands in my lap, watching as they hung uselessly between my knees. “Tsunade-sama has started an official investigation. She’s already kicked not just Danzo, but the other two off the council as well.” I couldn’t remember their names. They weren’t important. “She wants every single shred of evidence of Danzo’s wrong-doing before she makes any sort of big move.” I looked to Kakashi. “You were in ANBU, Kakashi. If you know anything…you need to say something. Please.” 

He shifted uncomfortably under my gaze, looking all the world like he wanted to run. “I will, I promise. But not here. If Danzo knows you’re on to him, then you can’t be too careful.” He glanced towards Iruka. “You might want to set up more powerful barriers and seals.” 

Iruka nodded, determination lighting a fire behind his eyes. Even if the truth had hurt him, had changed how he saw the man he’d admired for so long, he wouldn’t let it hold him back. He had people he wanted to protect after all. And mistaking him for weak when he got like this was a grave mistake you only ever made once. 

The weight of someone’s head landing on my shoulder startled me from my thoughts. I turned to see Sasuke leaning against me. His eyes were red from his earlier crying, but now I could see the same fire blazing in his eyes that I’d seen in Iruka’s. I reached up to card my fingers through his hair. He smiled, so did Iruka and Kakashi, and I knew the fire was in my eyes too.


	35. In Which Danzo Strikes Back

The next morning, there were three people waiting for us when we arrived at the archive: Aoba, hands stuffed in his pockets in a way that made it look like he didn’t really care that he was here (even though he totally did), and Genma…standing next to Umeko’s rolling playpen. 

“What’s going on?” I asked, thrown off by the fact Genma had decided to bring his daughter down here with him instead of just leaving her upstairs with Tsunade’s secretary.

“Tsunade-sama figured you’d need some help with the investigation,” Aoba explained. “There’s too much stuff in there for just the two of you, given the sensitive nature of the investigation. Tsunade wants this stuff fast, faster than the two of you can find alone.”

“No, yeah, I got that part.” I waved him off. “I was more talking about the toddler in the playpen.”

“Hi!” Umeko squeaked. 

“I don’t trust the others alone with her for more than like, fifteen minutes,” Genma stated, sounding very much like a man who’s walked in on some shit before.

I shrugged. “Fair enough. Let’s get started. The sooner Danzo gets his comeuppance, the better.”

We poured ourselves into the documents, marking every possible point of interest with a sticky-note tab. Most of it was useless. The Third’s reign was so long that the vast majority of the documents were about regular day-to-day activities…until we got to his accounts of the war. Every other document ended with a body count. 

“Wait a minute…” I shuffled through a pile of already marked documents. I pulled out a roster of all shinobi drafted for the war along with a list of casualties. Something about the numbers from the reports didn’t match up. Numbers varied between the death count and the number of bodies found/returned (those found, sadly, weren’t always returned). It wasn’t by much, but the frequency of it was strange. 

“What’s wrong?” Aoba asked, setting down the scroll he’d been reading.

“These numbers are off,” I said, spreading out the documents for him to see. “Sometimes there are more bodies found than reported dead. And bodies get found, but not returned, even though the ‘unsalvageable’ mark isn’t next to their names. Look, even with the entire troop accounted for, with a perfect victory, there were still Konoha bodies found.”

Aoba and Genma leaned over the table to stare at the numbers. Sasuke bumped against my shoulder in an attempt to get a look as well. 

“Look.” Genma pointed to the names of bodies that hadn’t been retrieved. “The missing bodies…they’re all clan shinobi.” 

My blood ran cold. He was right. All the bodies that hadn’t been retrieved were clan shinobi, most of them Uchiha and Hyuuga. I knew Danzo collected Uchiha eyes after the massacre, but I hadn’t even bothered to wonder if he’d started before then.

Aoba sat back, arms crossed and his body stiff with frustration. “But can we prove this was Danzo’s doing?” 

My fists clenched on top of the table. That was the whole thing, wasn’t it? We couldn’t _actually_ prove that this was Danzo’s doing. Danzo was terrifyingly good at covering his tracks when he wanted to be; that was how the Third War lasted so damn long, after all. The only reason we knew he was responsible for the Uchiha Massacre was because the Third had been in on it. 

Wait!

I dove for the Third’s journals, digging through everything recent until I found the records from before the Fourth was inducted into office. He knew about the experiments Orochimaru had conducted while part of Root. There had to be proof of Danzo’s involvement there. There was no way Danzo hadn’t been aware of the experiments, no way he hadn’t ordered them. Fifty-nine kids died for those experiments, plus countless others during Root ‘training’ (it was nothing less than brainwashing, really). Kids Tsugumi’s age….kids Konohamaru’s age…kids – kids Umeko’s age. 

“Sasuke!” I shouted over my shoulder. “Help me find any mention of Orochimaru and Root in these journals.”

Sasuke didn’t even bother asking why, he just dropped the mission log he’d been looking at and started digging with me, skimming through every journal he pulled out with his Sharingan before tossing it aside. 

“What are you looking for?” Genma asked, leaning as far over the table as he could to watch us.

“Orochimaru was a member of Root just before he deserted,” I said, slightly breathless. “Anything he was doing at the time _had_ to have been ordered by Danzo. I just…I need to find what he did!” 

They didn’t question why or how I knew this; it didn’t matter at this point. I probably had a reputation for knowing things I shouldn’t. It was just something people had to deal with when working with me. Like how Aoba and Genma did when they practically vaulted over the table to help dig through the journals. There were so many damn books, and right now I couldn’t tell if that was a blessing or a curse. The Third gave us so much evidence, but it took fucking forever to find it!

“Wait, Umeko, don’t do that!” I looked up to see Genma gently taking a book Umeko had managed to grab from her. “We don’t eat the books.”

“Tou-chan, cake!”

“No, Umeko, this is a book. Not cake. Say it with me: book.”

“Boo!”

He sighed, a near smitten looking smile on his face. “Close enough.”

“Is that another one of the Third’s journals?” Aoba asked, setting aside another book.

Genma turned the book over in his hand. “Looks like it.”

“Check it then!” I said, my tone too sharp and demanding for my own taste. Genma was my friend, dammit, I shouldn’t be snapping at him.

He didn’t seem to mind, however, opening the book and flipping through it. His sharp eyes scanned the pages, a frown too serious for him on his face. I watched as he turned the page and all the color drained from his face.

“I found it…” he whispered, his hands starting to shake.

I reached out and gently grasped the top of the book. “Let me see.” 

He let go of the book without complaint, suddenly standing and reaching down to pick up Umeko. He held her close, like he was scared some phantom would come and snatch her away. Even a brief glance at the page he’d been reading made it easy to understand why he’d reacted the way he did. The very first sentence mentioned a tiny, three year old girl who’d died not long before the Third and his team had showed up at the lab. There was no mention of a survivor. Danzo must have gotten to Tenzo by that point. 

Tsunade had left the village by that point. She had no idea why Orochimaru had deserted, just that he had. She didn’t know that one of her own guards was running around with her grandfather’s blood in his veins. 

I stood, marking the book with a sticky note and tucking it under my arm. “I’m going to show this to Tsunade-sama. It’s the first major breakthrough we’ve had.”

“We’ll keep looking,” Aoba promised.

 

I marched straight past Hitomi-san and the chunin and tokubestu jonin, earning confused and slightly concerned looks from the ones who knew me personally. I threw open Tsunade’s door, finding, much to my distress, Iruka handing over a pile of documents. I didn’t want him to be here, dammit, but I couldn’t wait. They both looked at me, Tsunade’s expression carefully schooled. Iruka, however, took one look at the barely contained anger on my face and his usually cheerful demeanor crumpled in on itself. 

“Karasuno,” Tsunade said in greeting. “Something I can do for you?”

“Tsunade-sama, we found something else that might…interest you.”

Her eyes went wide for just a moment, her gaze falling to the book under my arm. “About?”

I swallowed thickly. I was about to walk on some very thin ice. “About the experiments Orochimaru performed under Danzo’s supervision.”

Tsunade’s posture stiffened. She held out her hand expectantly. I crossed the room in three long strides, laying the journal in her hand. I glanced over to Iruka, looking for some kind of reassurance. He reached out to squeeze my hand briefly before turning to leave, knowing that this went way over his head. I didn’t want him to leave, but I couldn’t know how Tsunade would react to anything right now. 

Just as he reached for the door, the handle turned. He jumped back as the door swung open and Kakashi stepped into the room.

“What do you want, Hatake?” Tsunade snapped, only briefly glancing up from the book in her hand. 

Kakashi stole a glance at me as he stepped more fully into the room. His whole posture was stiff; there was no hiding his discomfort “Kou-cha – Karasuno-san mentioned that you were collecting data about Danzo’s…activities.”

“Whatever it is, it can’t be worse than the shit I’ve got in front of me,” Tsunade muttered, a hand going to her temple and a scowl pulling at her lips. 

“What is it?” Iruka asked, his voice quiet, as if scared he’d spook someone if he spoke too loud. 

My hands fisted in the fabric of my tunic. “It’s a record of the experiments Orochimaru performed under Danzo in an attempt to recreate the First’s Wood Release.” 

Kakashi made a choked sound. In the far back reaches of my awareness, I felt the distressed flicker of someone’s chakra signature. Oh no.

“Tenzo-san?”

Tenzo, dressed in his ANBU gear, his face covered by the cat mask he always wore, appeared at the edge of my vision. He’d tucked himself in a corner of the office like most of the Hokage’s guards tended to, using a jutsu to mask his presence. I wondered if he was always there, hiding from everyone. 

Tsunade turned slowly towards Tenzo, her face a mask of agony. 

“There were sixty test subjects,” I said in a near whisper. “Each one was injected with the First’s DNA in an attempt to recreate his kekkei-genkai. Only one survived.” 

“And that child was taken in by Root,” Kakashi jumped in, his voice low and dangerous sounding. “He was trained as an assassin and…sent after the Third Hokage. He wasn’t the first.”

Tsunade dropped the book. Iruka gasped loudly behind me, unable to hold back his shock. The idea that anyone inside the village wanted to assassinate the Third was nigh unthinkable to most.

“Eventually, he met someone from outside Root who showed him how what Danzo was doing was wrong,” Kakashi continued. “He left, and joined the real ANBU corps, where he was trained under me.” 

“Senpai…” Tenzo sounded close to tears. His body was shaking. Then again, I was pretty sure we were all shaking. 

Tsunade’s gaze never left Tenzo. Shock and sorrow warred in her eyes. I couldn’t imagine what was going through her mind. She’d lost her teammate to Danzo. Orochimaru hadn’t always been as terrible as he was now, he couldn’t have been. Not if Hiruzen had loved him so dearly. Not if Tsunade and Jiraiya had called him a friend. Not only that, Danzo had stolen the sanctity of her grandfather’s death to make soldiers for his private army. Danzo corrupted everything he ever touched. Tenzo might just be the only exception.

I – we, though in that moment I’d forgotten that Kakashi and Iruka were even there—watched as Tsunade reached out and pulled Tenzo’s mask from his face. They both looked so lost, so unsure of each other now. A sad smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. 

“He might be the closest thing to family you have.”

 

“How much do we have?” Sasuke asked, looking over the pile of tagged documents we’d collected over the past few months. It was well into autumn now, the basement remaining a fairly comfortable temperature even as the weather outside turned from blazing hot to cool. 

“All together about one hundred and seventeen instances of treasonous activity,” Aoba said, pushing up his shades. “More than enough to either put Danzo away for a long, long time, or have him executed.” 

That was way too many for comfort. Dammit, Hiruzen, how could you have turned a blind eye for so long? 

“How are we going to carry all of this up to Tsunade?” Aoba asked, his voice tinged with a whine.

“We do have a couple of storage scrolls,” Genma noted absently as he moved several books away from Umeko before she could color in them. 

“They only hold so much,” Aoba grumbled. “We’d still be carrying a hell of a lot up there.”

I sighed, the end of it turning into a frustrated growl. “I’ll just go bring Tsunade down here and let her figure out what she wants to do.” 

Aoba grinned. “You’re the best, Kou-ch—“ 

I was up in his face before he could finish his sentence. “You do not have permission to call me that. It’s Kourubi or Karasuno-san. Nothing else.”

I turned and marched out of the room, Genma snickering behind me. I wasn’t entirely sure why Aoba calling me ‘Kou-chan’ upset me the way it did. I didn’t exactly know where I stood with Aoba like I did with Genma or Raido or Izumo and Kotetsu (and yes, those two were a unit). We were friendly enough, and we worked well together, but that seemed to be the end of it. Perhaps if we weren’t in such a stressful situation, I wouldn’t have reacted so strongly. I still wouldn’t have let him call me that, though. That was for Kakashi and Mori and Gan. Well…if Iruka ever wanted to call me that, I’d let him. But still, that name was for a very exclusive club, and Aoba would never be a member. 

I shook my head, chasing those thoughts away as I reached the top of the stairs. I waved to Hitomi-san, who let me through without a fuss. She’d long since learned that whatever I was doing, it was important enough that Tsunade-sama didn’t want me interrupted. I made my way through the corral of desks without anyone stopping me, though Iruka (who’d been transferred from the missions desk after the…last outburst in Tsunade’s office) looked like he wanted to. 

The moment I stepped through the door into Tsunade’s office, I knew something was wrong. For one, she wasn’t at her desk. Instead, she was standing at her open window, staring down at a small bird with distressingly familiar plumage. She whirled around to face me as the door clicked shut, something near panicked in her eyes. 

“Kourubi-sama!” The bird chirped, flying in my direction before it finished calling my name. Oh god, it _was_ Momi. Tsugumi’s bird. But…where was Tsugumi? The cold claws of dread sunk into my chest. “They took her, Kourubi-sama! Scary men in masks and dark cloaks! They took Tsugumi-chan!” 

**_No!_ **

My vision swam as my knees gave out and I sunk to the floor. I felt sick, so sick. How _dare_ he!? Danzo was smart enough to know that attacking me directly would lead to a small army knocking down his door, especially once Iruka and Kakashi pooled their contacts and Sasuke said anything to the young ones. So, instead, he goes for my baby cousin: sweet, tiny, precious Tsugumi. Bright eyed and brave, but nowhere near skilled enough to take on Root operatives. That **_goddamn bastard!!_**

I raised my head to at least try and meet Tsunade’s eyes through the river of tears pouring from my eyes. “T-Tsunade-sama…”

Her head snapped in Tenzo’s direction. “Gather the ANBU and the Jonin Commander. We’ve got a rescue operation on our hands.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I believe the shit has hit the proverbial fan. Let me know what you think in the comments! I'll be gone to Seattle next week on vacation, so I might not be able to reply until I get back, but leave them anyway! 
> 
> Okay, that's all. 
> 
> Love you.
> 
> Bye.


	36. In Which I Bring the Lightning Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! Back from vacation just in time for an update! Man that was well timed. And it's the arc's climax too, man I'm good. Anyway, let me know what you think in the comments below~

Raido showed up first, slipping in through the window, looking as devastated as I felt. Of course he did. This was his first team as a jonin sensei, and he probably felt like he already fucked up. 

“I’m so sorry, Kourubi-san,” he whispered, his voice wavering. “This is my fault…I knew something was going on but I never thought…”

I shushed him, my hand reaching out to rest against his scarred cheek. I was honestly amazed he didn’t flinch away. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.” 

Shikaku-san, the Jonin Commander, arrived next with Asuma, Kurenai, Gai, and Noboru-sensei, a positively livid looking Genma and Aoba behind them. Hyuuga Nami, Hayate, and Kiui arrived next, closely followed the ANBU team Tenzo had put together. I recognized Kamome, and it was really no surprise she’d be recruited. Hell, I wouldn’t be shocked if she bullied her way onto the team. I didn’t recognize the woman with long purple hair, but I had a few guesses.

My heart stopped at the sight of Kakashi in his hound mask. He met my eyes and set a calming hand on my shoulder. He didn’t speak (not unusual for active ANBU members), but I could feel his resolve. He would have joined the rescue mission even without being reactivated. 

The door swung open once more, Kotetsu, Izumo, and Iruka marching in. One of the jonin must have let slip what was going on.

“No chunin,” Tsunade informed them shortly. Then her gaze turned to me. “That means you, Kourubi.” 

_Excuse you?!_

“There is no way in hell I’m not going!” I shouted, anger rolling off me in waves, leaking into the room as killing intent. “This is my cousin! My kin! I will march into Root’s den and show them what happens when they fuck with my family!”

The room grew ten degrees colder as my killing intent clashed with Tsunade’s iron will. “And you can’t fucking stop me.”

Her hard, golden gaze never wavered. I was walking on thin ice, just a hair’s breadth away from insubordination charges. I kept my eye contact as steady as I could with my entire body shaking. The room was deathly silent. 

“Fine,” Tsunade finally said. “But you’re not going in without proper protection. And those three –” she pointed at Iruka, Kotetsu, and Izumo – “Are staying out of the den, as you put it. They’ll be there to meet any children we happen to find. And that’s all they’ll be doing. Is that clear?”

A chorus of ‘yes, ma’am’s replied. I felt some of the tension leave my body, only for it to come right back as a hand landed on my shoulder. I turned to see Kamome standing beside me. 

“I’ll take care of her armor, Tsunade-sama.” Without even waiting for a reply from the Hokage, Kamome whisked me away with a body flicker. The next thing I knew, I was in a dark locker room.

“You’re incredibly stupid, you know that?”

I turned to watch Kamome riffle through a locker. Her tone wasn’t happy, but it wasn’t really angry either. It was somewhere between annoyed and concerned, that tone I caught myself using every so often with my teammates and my ducklings.

“I know,” I replied, keeping my voice soft. “But it’s my fault Tsugumi got taken. I’m the one who butted heads with Danzo. So I’m going to fix it.”

My vision went dark as the shirt Kamome threw at me wrapped around my head. 

“It’s not your fault,” she corrected me sharply. “The only one to blame is Danzo.” She handed me a set of long gloves and one of the ANBU vests. “Wear that. I’d give you some of my pants as well, but they’d probably be too short.”

She had a point. I was a few inches taller than she was. I was actually very tall compared to most of the women in my clan. Taller then some men, too. I was only barely shorter than my father.

When had he gotten so small…?

I slid out of my tunic, passing it over to Kamome, who’d turned away to give me some privacy. The shirt that replaced it was nearly identical to the one Kakashi wore under his regulation blues, save for the lack of a sewn on mask. It felt thicker than normal cloth, and a part of me wondered what kind of armor was woven into the fibers. The vest was much the same as the standard flak vest, though thinner in a way that suggested it was made of a more efficient material. The gloves reached just past my elbows, though it seemed they were supposed to reach higher, if the way Kamome wore hers was any indication. 

“Ready?” Kamome asked, turning. I nodded, grabbing my swords from where they lay on a bench. “I’ll go get you a mask then.”

“No,” I said. She stopped and looked at me curiously. “I want Danzo to know it was me that tore his precious Root apart. It’s what he gets for messing with my family.” 

 

We returned to find even more people had gathered, most of them ANBU I didn’t recognize. Momi sat on Tsunade’s desk, but immediately left it to settle on my shoulder when I arrived. 

“Did you follow the men to see where they took Tsugumi?” I asked him.

“Yes, Kourubi-sama,” he insisted, stress causing his feathers to puff up. “I can lead you all there.” 

“Good, you’ll have to.” I looked to Tsunade. “Will you be coming with us, Hokage-sama?”

Tsunade looked conflicted. I could see the fire kindling in her eyes. She wanted to fight, to regain her mentor’s honor, to take down a man who’d been working against her grandfather’s ideals. The question was whether or not it was a good idea for her to leave her post. 

“Might I suggest, Hokage-sama,” Kiui spoke up, “that you come along and wait outside with the chunin. That way, should it be necessary that you intervene; you are close enough to do so in a timely manner. You’ll also be there to aid whoever might get injured.” 

Tsunade mused on this for a moment before nodded. “Right. Let’s go.”

 

We slipped silently through the trees, following after Momi. Tsunade and I led the way, our eyes never leaving Tsugumi’s partner. My hands shook. My heart pounded. I could feel a bead of sweat run down the back of my neck. This…this was everything the past few weeks had been leading up to. And I was front and center for it. And Danzo had no one to blame but himself. I would have been perfectly happy to let the regular ANBU take Root down. But Danzo took my baby cousin, and I wasn’t about to let that slide. 

Momi stopped on a tree branch right in front of a large wall of rock. “They went in there.”

“In the rock?” Kotetsu whispered loudly from the back. “Is it a genjutsu?”

“Yes,” Kakashi said quietly. He slipped forward, feeling along the rock until his hand suddenly slipped through the illusion, breaking it for the rest of us. 

Tsunade nodded and then turned to the rest of us. “Hound’s team has point. The rest will follow and listen to his orders. All chunin other than Karasuno will stay here with me unless absolutely necessary.”

“Oh god.” We whirled at the sound of Noboru-sensei’s shocked gasp. He stared in utter horror into the distance, a hand over his mouth. I followed his gaze, and felt my stomach drop.

“The Hokage Mountain,” he whispered. “They built their base into the mountain.”

My breath caught in my throat at the implications of that. To have something so sinister hidden just behind the monument to the people who were supposed to protect us…Danzo had a nasty sense of dramatic irony. Not to mention the fact that many of the evacuation routes led through tunnels into the mountain. To have Root hide just under our noses…pissed me off. 

“No time to think about that right now,” I hissed. “We’ve got a genin to save.”

Kakashi nodded, stepping silently into the tunnel. He stopped, standing frozen in the center of the opening for a short moment before signaling for us to follow. I turned and squeezed Iruka’s hand before darting after him, footsteps muffled by the slightest layer of chakra. It was a trick any ninja worth their salt knew, especially infiltrators and assassins. Kaa-san taught me just out of the academy. 

The tunnel was long and dark; I had to rely less on my eyes and more on the faintest sounds of the other shinobi around me. The ANBU slipped ahead of us in utter silence, disabling any traps they found along the way, and they found many. I didn’t bother counting the number of cut tripwires I stepped on as we made our way through. Eventually, after several long minutes of cautious walking, a faint light appeared before us. The tunnel slowly widened as we approached the light, before finally opening up into a large cavern. 

We stayed in the shadows the tunnel afforded us, observing what we could. Root operatives moved about the cavern with obvious purpose. Danzo stood in the middle of it all, barking orders I couldn’t make out. Beside him stood a Root operative I vaguely recognized with their hands on Tsugumi’s shaking shoulders. 

Rage burned in me as I lurched forward, only to be caught by Kiui. She glared at me in warning, a finger flying to her lips to stop any protest I could even contemplate making. Kakashi made a series of hand gestures that I couldn’t comprehend, but the jonin and ANBU were suddenly moving around me. 

I turned to Kiui. “What’s going on?” 

“They’re going to go in and remove as many operatives from the battle as possible,” Kiui replied, her voice barely audible. “Then, you’re going to go in with Hound’s squad and grab Tsugumi while they attempt to take down Danzo.”

“He didn’t make that many motions.”

“Just shut up and get ready to run like you’ve never run before,” she hissed. “I’ll let you know when to move.” 

I waited, watching my allies slip in and out of the shadows. Kiui’s hand gripped my shoulder tight enough that I was fairly certain there’d be a bruise later. My legs shook with the tension, the desire to act. Waiting had never been my strong suit, and I was paying for it now.

A sudden explosion startled me, my heart jumping in my chest. Kiui’s grip on my shoulder loosed and she pushed me forward with a shouted order to move. I leapt forward, sailing through the open air of the cavern. I bit my thumb, hands flying through the signs for the summoning jutsu. Mori and Gan burst from the seals as they appeared in midair, cawing triumphantly. It’d been so long since they’d fought along side me. Another flurry of seals and I was flying, wings beating heavily to carry me faster and faster towards Tsugumi. 

I could feel my bones protest at the harshness of my landing, but I had no time to linger. My wings – my partners—lashed out at the man holding Tsugumi, knocking him back in a flurry of feathers, a furious roar ripping from my throat. I whirled on the man who set this entire tragedy into motion. Danzo stepped backwards, his face contorting into something akin to fear for the briefest of moments before twisting into anger. 

**_“Danzo!”_** My voice sounded foreign to my own ears, almost less than human. The very sound of it made him stumble on his next step back. “You fucking coward! Couldn’t attack me directly, so you kidnap my kin? Someone who hasn’t done a damn thing to you and probably didn’t even know your face before this moment! And just when I thought you couldn’t go any lower, you traitorous bastard! How dare you? _How dare you?!_ Couldn’t handle the fact there are fucking consequences to your actions now, could you? Couldn’t handle the fact that maybe, just maybe, other people could see you for the slimy, poisonous, ugly snake that you are. So you thought you could take my kin, _my kin_ , and that I’d drop it all out of fear? Oh, no. Not in any circle of hell would that happen. You’ve pissed me off, Danzo. And I’m gonna pay you back for everything you’ve done to my family. You traumatized my cousin, ruined my brother’s life, and caused a crisis of faith in the people I care about. For what? The village?”

That was when Danzo finally found his voice. “Of course for the village! It was always for the village!”

**_“Fuck the village!”_** I roared, my voice echoing in the cavern. “It can burn for all I care for what it’s done to my brothers! And if it gave birth to a monster like you, then it really is rotten.

“But my sunshine loves this damn place, so like hell I’m going to let you make it worse!” 

“Hime…” A tiny, wavering voice caught my attention right before the sound of metal sailing through the air made me dodge out of the way. I whirled around, my eyes falling on a sobbing and utterly terrified Tsugumi…and the tanto she held in her hand.

“I-I’m sorry, hime,” she sobbed, her body shaking. “I don’t know what’s happening. My body…I c-can’t control it.”

She suddenly jerked forward, tanto blade point in my direction. I dodged back. 

“Danzo, what did you do!?” My head snapped in his direction, but he was already half way across the cavern, two Root operatives at his side (including the one I’d knocked prone earlier). Several of the ANBU chased after him. 

“Hime!” Tsugumi’s desperate warning pulled my attention back to the moment at hand. I barely managed to dodge what would have been a near fatal strike, receiving a nasty gash across my side in consolation. I released the jutsu holding Mori and Gan in their wing form. Better to let them fly free than keep them close. I didn’t think Tsugumi would be able to live with herself if she hurt them. 

“Hime, I’m sorry!”

“Shhh, shhh, I know,” I said as soothingly as I could, one hand held up in a pacifying gesture, the other pressed against my side. “It’s okay, Tsugumi. Don’t worry. I’m going to figure this out. Trust me, okay? I’m clan head; I’ll always find a way to save you. I promise.” 

I couldn’t see any unnatural shadows on her, so she wasn’t being controlled by a Nara. Her movements, while jerky, weren’t the kind of stiff, unsettling movements of someone being controlled by a puppeteer. Konoha wasn’t exactly known for its puppet users anyway. Generally, that would mean I was dealing with a Yamanaka. I strained my eyes staring into the darkness. 

There. A flash of blonde as the light shifted and a familiar hand sign. Fucking bastard.

Music spilled over my skin, the beat gathering in my hand. A quick glance at my surroundings told me Kakashi was watching, probably waiting for the chance to step in to help if needed. A thought occurred to me. The requiem had no elemental component to it, just pure chakra. I wondered… 

_Meet me on the west side, up here on the high line,_   
_Got a couple of words worth saying._

My palm tingled, the spark of something hot and sharp sending pins and needles all over it. I could hear Kakashi’s gasp, followed by someone, I thought it was Gai but I couldn’t be sure, asking when he’d taught me _that._

I ducked out of the way of Tsugumi’s graceless swipe with the tanto, using the body flicker technique to launch myself into the air just behind the Yamanaka hiding in the shadows. I hovered briefly over his head, dropping my lightning-filled hand onto his shoulder and pushing the vibrations and electrical pulses into his body.

“Raiton: Electropop Requiem.” 

_I keep hanging on~_

The man twitched violently, dropping like a rock the moment I cut the jutsu off. I didn’t want to kill any of the Root agents if I could avoid it. They were brainwashed, so it wasn’t like they really understood what they were doing. Hopefully, I hadn’t done too much damage…but I probably wouldn’t have felt too bad if I did. The asshole did traumatize Tsugumi, after all.

Speaking of which…

I pushed myself up off the ground – having fallen mere seconds after landing the blow – and turned at the sound of metal clattering against stone. Tsugumi had dropped to her knees, tanto abandoned on the floor beside her. She shook like a leaf and my heart ached for her. Rushing to her side, I immediately scooped her up into my arms. She sobbed into my neck and I had to fight back my own tears. My time to cry would be later, after Tsugumi was home safe and sound. In the mean time, I calmed the vibrations, lowering them to safer levels, and allowed them to pass over Tsugumi’s skin in something akin to a purr. I prayed it was as soothing as I hoped. 

Kakashi approached cautiously. “What was that?”

I shot him a curious look, unsure of what he meant: the speech I’d given earlier or the technique I’d kind of just pulled from my ass.

So instead, I asked a question of my own. “Danzo..?” 

Kakashi looked off the direction that he and the ANBU had disappeared, muttering a curse under his breath. He turned back to me, and I couldn’t help but find the completely unreadable ANBU mask unnerving. 

“You get her out of here,” he ordered, his voice firm but gentle. “We’ll take care of the rest.”

Part of me wanted to protest, to go after Danzo myself, but I knew that would only end poorly. My power was nothing when compared to Danzo’s. I’d done all I could at this point. I held Tsugumi close and bolted for the tunnel. Other shinobi joined me, unconscious children and older operatives in their arms and thrown over their shoulders. So many children…

Such a rotten place…

The sunlight was blinding as I exited the tunnel. A small army of medical shinobi, including, to my utter horror, Sakura, had joined Tsunade and the others. 

“What is she doing here?!” I hissed to Tsunade as she marched over to inspect us. 

“With so many people being brought out, I wasn’t exactly going to turn away a willing volunteer,” Tsunade replied sharply. “Especially not one of her talent. How’s the little one?” 

Tsugumi lay heavily against my shoulder, having effectively cried herself to sleep. I shifted her as best I could without waking her so Tsunade could get a rudimentary look. “Unharmed, physically, as far as I can tell. She was seriously shaken up, though. They had a Yamanaka playing puppeteer with her body when we arrived.” 

“We’ll likely have to send her in for psychological evaluation,” Tsunade muttered, placing a glowing green hand on Tsugumi’s head. 

I wasn’t sure how much I trusted the abilities of whoever was evaluating the shinobi, considering people like Orochimaru or even Kakashi could skate through without any intervention. Still, there was no way Tsugumi wasn’t going to be scarred by this, so I found myself agreeing. If something went wrong, I could always use it as an excuse to get up in arms about the psychological state of shinobi and maybe force some change. 

“Kourubi-senpai!” My head jerked in Sakura’s direction as she called my name, finally realizing I was there.

“Ah, hey, Cherry Pie,” I greeted, half mumbling. 

“Your side! Are you okay?” She quickly went about healing my wound. I got pretty lucky, if I was honest. That luck was going to run out soon.

As I waited for Sakura to finish healing my wound, Kakashi and the rest of the ANBU exited the tunnel. Danzo was nowhere in sight, but the Root operative I’d hit with my wing was tossed over Tenzo’s shoulder. That…that wasn’t what I wanted to see. I was all too happy to pass Tsugumi over to Kiui so my grip on her didn’t grow painfully tight.

“Where’s Danzo?” Tsunade demanded, giving voice to the terrified question that echoed in my mind. 

Kakashi turned his face away in what I could only assume was shame. “He got away, Hokage-sama. My deepest apologies.” 

We braced ourselves at the sight of Tsunade’s pinched expression, ready for the yelling. Instead, she stared the darkness of the tunnel down, hands on her hips. 

“Are there still more agents in there?” she asked, her voice calmer than expected.

A nod from Kamome answered her.

“Get them out,” she ordered. “Clear the whole place out. I want to make sure Danzo has nothing to come back to if he ever tries. We might not have him yet, but we’ve cut his resources. He doesn’t have his army anymore. That’s enough of a victory today.” 

“Before that.” An ANBU I didn’t recognize, tall and willowy with wild sand-colored hair and a bird mask, stepped forward, his eyes on me. “I think someone should answer for what she said in there.”

Shit.

“What exactly did you mean by the village could burn for all you cared?”

All eyes were on me, shock and horror and confusion painted the faces of friends and colleagues. Damn me and my big mouth. But it wasn’t like I didn’t stand by what I said. So I squared my shoulders and met the ANBU’s gaze.

“I meant exactly what I said,” I answered plainly, trying to keep my voice steady. “This village has done horrible, monstrous things for the sake of power and security. You of all people should know that, ANBU-san.”

“Then why become a shinobi?” he demanded, stepping forward threateningly. Several of my friends tensed, waiting for him to give them a reason to act.

The question boiled my blood more than the attempt at intimidation. “Because I had no choice! Literally, had no choice. At six years old my parents threw me into an academy that taught children how to murder! Because it was expected of me! Because I was born the heir to a clan of killers in a world where children are sent into war as soldiers! I was never asked if I wanted to be a shinobi! And even if I was, can you honestly expect a six year old child to understand what being a shinobi really means?! I was never asked if I wanted to risk my life for a village that hurt the people that fought for it! For a world where humans are used to hold back monsters and **_they’re_** the ones that are treated like garbage! No!” I shook my head fiercely, trying to hide the tears that prickled the corners of my eyes. “I won’t fight for a village in a world like that. I’ll find something nobler to fight for…and keep my humanity.” 

The ANBU sputtered, his threatening step forward becoming a stunned step back. He turned to Tsunade, looking for some kind of answer. “Hokage-sama!”

Tsunade leveled me with a hard, searching look. I met her gaze best I could, hands clenched and shaking. 

“What do you fight for, Karasuno, if not the village?” she asked.

I smiled bitterly. “Haven’t you heard, Hokage-sama? I fight for the ones who were never given love, and for those who’ve had love stolen from them. Like my sunshine, and my baby brother. Like my kin who’ve had family taken from them by the cruelties of this world. Like my teammates. And the men who share my bed. I fight for the people who are important to me. And they love this village. So I will protect it. But not for the village’s sake. For theirs.” 

For a long, silent moment, Tsunade continued to stare me down. Her eyes burned into me, and I understood why she was chosen as Hokage. In that moment I could feel her strength rolling off of her, heavy and solid. Suddenly, it broke, and she sighed. A sad look passed over her face; one of understanding that could only be gained through a lifetime of heartbreak.

“She’s not wrong,” she admitted. “She not entirely right, either, but she’s not wrong. This world is cruel, and to ignore it would be stupid of all of us. We can’t be blind to it. But…we can’t be without hope that we can make it better.”

“But, Hokage-sama-!”

“Look,” Tsunade snapped. “Karasuno has been a major player in this investigation from the beginning, and without her I doubt we’d have even known that Root was still an issue that needed to be dealt with. Whatever grievances you have with her motivations, you can’t argue with the results.”

She turned to me, her expression softening slightly. “Take your genin home, Karasuno. Come see me tomorrow and I’ll take your report directly.” 

I bowed slightly. “Yes, Hokage-sama. Thank you.” I turned and took Tsugumi from Kiui, settling her against my shoulder as she stirred slightly. Amazingly, the yelling hadn’t woken her. 

I left, only barely hearing Tsunade bark more orders behind me. She must have dismissed some of the volunteers, because Iruka rushed up to walk beside me. 

“What’s going on?” I asked. 

Iruka glanced back over his shoulder before replying. “Tsunade-sama dismissed most of the people who had been part of the original raid team. Some of the jonin and ANBU are staying behind, but other than that she told us to go home and get some rest. Izumo and Kotetsu are running back to the hospital before that to ask for more medics. She wants as many of the Root agents put under protective custody at the hospital as possible until we can figure out what to do with them.” 

Humming in acknowledgement, I shifted my grip on Tsugumi and kept walking. A heavy silence weighed down on us. I was too tired to do much more than carry my little passenger and walk. 

Suddenly, Iruka spoke up, his voice tinged with something like concern or desperation. “Do you hate me?”

My head snapped in his direction, my heart squeezing at the very implication. “Of course not!”

“But you said…”

“Iruka, you are one of the brightest, most wonderful things about this place,” I assured him, shifting my hold on Tsugumi once again so I could reach out and hold his hand. 

“But I…I’m part of that system you hate so much,” he murmured, his hand shaking in mine. “The one that teaches children to hurt others…to kill. I’d…I’d never thought of it that way until you said that. I just wanted them to be able to protect themselves…to be good shinobi.”

“I don’t blame you,” I soothed. “It’s hard to see the bad things sometimes, if it’s just accepted as the norm. But I’m glad you did become a teacher.” I shot him a smile. “Naruto would have been much lonelier if you hadn’t.”

Iruka looked almost nostalgic for a moment, a soft, sad smile on his face. He bit his lip, his expression becoming more thoughtful. “What should I do?”

“What do you want to do?”

“I want to keep teaching,” he said. “I love working with the children, seeing their eyes light up when they finally understand something they’ve been learning. I love seeing them grow.”

“Then keep teaching,” I said with finality. “But, try to fix things little by little. Make things better in any way you can. It might be slow going, and you’ll meet some resistance, there’s no denying that. But I think you can do it.

“Or don’t. I’m just the crazy revolutionary who just took down a major government figure. I’m probably not the best person to listen to.” 

He laughed, the kind of laugh that you don’t even really mean to make, the kind that just comes out. Tsugumi stirred, lifting her head from my shoulder.

“Hime?”

I smiled gently at her, doing my best to hide my exhaustion now that the adrenaline had left my veins. “It’s okay, Tsugumi-chan. You’re safe. We beat the bad guy.”

She nodded, arms going about my neck. “I’m glad. I’m sorry I hurt you, hime.”

“Didn’t even hurt.”

She eyed me like she knew I was lying to her, but didn’t want to argue. “Was Raido-sensei there?”

“Of course he was,” I assured her. “He’s your sensei; he’ll always look after you.”

“Just like you?” Her voice was tiny, as if she was ashamed to ask. My heart clenched in my chest at the idea. How could this society treat their children with such callousness that they were scared to ask to be protected? 

I pressed a kiss to her hair. “Just like me.” 

 

Sasuke was waiting for us at the compound gate, pacing nervously back and forth in front of Chouko and Sukua. Sukua caught sight of us first, crying out and running up to take his daughter into his arms. Tears of relief rolled down his cheeks as he clung to her. He looked to me, looked at me like I’d just stopped a tsunami with the wave of my hand. Like I’d done something impossible and worth worshiping. It left me feeling both ten feet tall and infinitely tiny. 

“Thank you, Kourubi-sama,” he whispered. “Thank you for bringing my daughter back.” 

I looked away and shrugged. I couldn’t stand to see that look on his face. “What else could I do? It was my fault Danzo targeted her in the first place.” 

“Whatever you did, it doesn’t excuse that man’s actions,” Chouko insisted, coming up behind her husband. “It’s not your fault.” 

Suddenly arms were around me. I turned to see Sasuke’s relieved face. “I didn’t know what was going on. Shikamaru’s father came in and told Genma and Aoba to leave with him. Genma told me to take Umeko home and then go home, too. I wanted to fight but I didn’t know anything. No one would tell me anything!” 

I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close, pressing soothing kisses to his hair. “I know, little lion man, I know. Danzo was mad about the investigation and took Tsugumi to try and stop it. We took down Root’s base. Now, we just have to wait and see what happens next.”

He looked up, anger blazing behind the relief. “Did you kill him?”

Shame felt like a punch to the gut. “No…he got away. I’m sorry, baby brother.” 

Emotions warred on Sasuke’s face. Disappointment, anger, relief that we’d come back alive, happiness at our victory. He pressed his face into my shoulder. “We’ll get him next time.”

I nodded. “Next time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)
> 
> Featured Song:
> 
> [Hanging On by Totem](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3D1aPH3_C0)


	37. In Which Plans Are Made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello, everyone! I'm back again with another update. Lots of stuff going on, lots of stuff to lead into! Let me know what you think in the comments down below!

Kakashi returned several hours later to find Iruka and I lying about in bed, exhausted but unwilling to fall asleep without knowing he was alright. He had my tunic in his hand, likely having gotten it from Kamome. He looked exhausted. We probably all did.

I reached up and brushed my fingers against the fabric of his mask. “I like this mask much better than the other one.” My voice was soft and heavy with fatigue. I didn’t even feel like sitting up. 

Iruka rolled over; like me, he didn’t bother sitting up. “I agree. I’ve always found ANBU masks…off-putting.” 

Kakashi hummed noncommittally. He set my tunic down on the dresser and sat on the bed, taking my hand in his and pressing a kiss to the palm. He pulled back, staring at my hand thoughtfully for a moment.

“How did you do it?” he asked. “That thing you did earlier. It looked like…”

Oh, the new jutsu. “My melody jutsu doesn’t have a elemental component to it. I wanted to know what would happen if I tried to add one. And…well, I was always disappointed that I couldn’t learn the Chidori.” 

Kakashi’s eye crinkled in the corner. It was nice to see that I could get him to smile even after everything that happened today. He shucked off his vest and headband, tossing them aside. After a thought, he tugged off his shirt as well. He flopped down beside me, arms wrapping around my waist as he clung to me like a limpet. 

I ran my fingers through his hair, feeling Iruka press up against my back. I turned to him slowly, finding his face mere centimeters from mine. Our breath mingled in the tiny space between us as we both hesitated. Then, spurred on by some twenty seconds of bravery still afforded to him after hours of it earlier, he ducked down and kissed me. It was a kiss I hadn’t experience before, soft and desperate all at once. It was as much of a prayer as it was a kiss. A kiss that said, ‘Thank god you’re alive.’ It left me breathless. 

When he finally let me go, when we finally settled back into the bed, tangled up in each other, I felt the weight of it all crash down on me. Here, cradled between the men I loved, I finally let myself cry. 

The next day, I didn’t want to go see Tsunade. I felt drained, my whole body heavier than I was used to. But I wasn’t about to ignore a direct order from her after my outburst. I made my way through the village, purposefully avoiding the heavily populated streets. I just…did not feel like talking to anyone at that point. Didn’t feel like being a person. 

Tsunade was obviously waiting for me when I arrived, staring expectantly at the door when I stepped through. For once, she wasn’t rushing to finish a giant pile of paperwork. 

“Good morning, Tsunade-sama,” I greeted stiffly. 

“Karasuno,” she said in return. She stood from her chair. “Don’t get comfortable. I’d like you to come with me.” 

I frowned. What was this? Were we going down to the archive? Why? I dragged my feet after her despite my unvoiced questions. She led me down the stairs and out the building. Okay, not the archive. But then, where…?

She led me through the streets without a word, her pace purposeful but unhurried. I didn’t feel comfortable breaking the silence. My questions were partially answered when we turned and entered the hospital, but that only left more in their place. Why were we here? What was going on? Did someone get injured? Was I going to have to take responsibility for that? Weren’t the Root operatives kept here? 

She led me up the stairs and past a door guarded by two ANBU I remembered seeing at the Chunin exams all those months ago. How long had it been since then? Just over a year, I reasoned. Naruto had only been gone about a year at this point, and he left a mere three months after Suna’s invasion. So much had happened in such a short time, made it feel like it’d been longer than it had. 

I missed him. 

Tsunade stopped in front of a window, some kind of observation window into a patient’s room. My heart jumped at who I saw in the bed. I stared at Sai as he lay staring at the ceiling, his face pale and his eyes dark. I tried not to give anything away as I turned to Tsunade.

“Hokage-sama, what’s going on?” 

“After the Root operatives were captured and brought to this high security wing of the hospital, we noticed two things,” Tsunade explained, eyes still on Sai. “First: every Root operative over a certain age had a seal placed upon their tongues. Best we can tell they were made to keep the operatives from speaking about Root or Danzo’s activities if captured. Second: while many of the operatives had been taken from the clans, the vast majority of them were orphans with no clan ties. It took no effort to get the clans to reclaim their lost kin…but that leaves us with at least two dozen orphans with no place to put them. Most of them are grown adults; no orphanage would take them on. And there’s no way we can simply throw them out into the village and expect them to assimilate back into society without help.”

My shoulders tensed, hands clenched behind my back. “What are you suggesting, Hokage-sama?”

She looked to me with her golden eyes. I always felt so small when her eyes were on me. “You’ve become…well-known, let’s say…for taking on orphans. If your clan could take one just one of the operatives, it might be enough to guilt the clans into taking on some of the non-clan operatives as well. The Inuzuka will do just about anything if you make it a competition…” 

Just one. All she wanted was for me to take one. I could take one. “Very well, Hokage-sama.” I looked back into Sai’s room. “I can take this one. He’s about Sasuke’s age, looks like he could be a Karasuno if he weren’t so pale. I can find a family for him.” I wasn’t about to take a Root operative into my own home after being one of the people who led the charge against Danzo. I was kind, but I wasn’t stupid. 

“You won’t take him yourself?” Tsunade asked, and it sounded like a test.

“I just led a small army of shinobi against Danzo after spending the last four months investigating him for treason,” I told her plainly. “It would be foolish to think that the Root operatives wouldn’t take the opportunity to avenge their leader. They need families, need homes, and I’m willing to provide that. But it won’t be with me.” I swallowed thickly; this next part would be a tricky sell. “Besides, I think there’s going to be a distinct lack of room in my home soon.”

A single, pale gold brow rose at that. “What do you mean, Karasuno?”

My whole body was stiff as I turned to look Tsunade in the eye, fighting back the feeling of shrinking under her gaze. “Danzo hates the Uchiha, but he always admired their Sharingan eyes. Two sets of Sharingan eyes are here, under the protection of the village. One is not.” 

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “You want to bring Itachi back.”

Well, so much for the big reveal. I nodded, hands clasps behind my back to keep them from visibly shaking. This was a far more than I ever expected to do, but I had a chance. I had to take it. 

“Why?”

“Because he was a child,” I said with conviction. “A child whose childhood was stripped from him. He was in the academy for a year, ANBU by age 11, and S-ranked missing nin by 14.”

“He was a prodigy,” Tsunade argued mildly, a reminder more than anything else, but it boiled the blood in my veins.

“That doesn’t excuse it!” I shouted “Nothing excuses putting a child in a predicament where killing becomes their norm! He wasn’t allowed to grow up normally and his mental health clearly suffered for it if he honestly thought that Danzo’s ‘Let’s murder the Uchiha’ plan was sound! I’m surprised more of your ‘prodigies’ haven’t gone batshit!” I inhaled deeply, forcing my voice back down to a more polite level. “You know what they said about him before he left? That he thought like a Hokage.”

Tsunade stiffened. 

“Do we really want to be a village known for their leaders thinking it’s okay to slaughter an entire clan? A clan that would have been perfectly justified in their rebellion, considering the abuse they’ve suffered since the beginning. What kind of moral high ground would we have over the other villages then? We’d hardly be better than Kiri.

“Besides, if he was ordered to kill them, then he really shouldn’t have been forced to leave anyway. It’s not treason if the leaders ordered it.” 

Tsunade looked almost ill, like she knew I had a point but she didn’t want to admit it. “And I assume you’d want charge of this mission?”

I smiled wryly. “I do have a way with monsters, it seems.” 

Tsunade stood quiet for a long moment, her expression passive and thoughtful. “You have two weeks to prepare, including gathering whatever fools are stupid enough to go with you.” 

I bowed respectfully, thought mostly it was to hide my near manic grin. “Thank you, Hokage-sama. You have no idea what this means to me.”

She snorted at me and jerked her head in the direction of Sai. “Just make sure you settle him in before you go.”

 

I sat patiently just outside Sai’s room as Tsunade and an ANBU medic gave him one last physical. His seal had been removed; Tsunade and a team of seal experts were slowly working their way through the operatives. Root had been a surprisingly small operation considering how much of an issue it’d been for the village, but Danzo never seemed like a man to put his trust in very many people, if that’s what you could call this. 

The door slid open, revealing Tsunade and a very tired looking Sai. Heavy bags under his eyes stood out on his pale skin, making him look almost sickly. I stood, realizing that I was indeed taller than he was at this point. I’d only ever known Sai as a teenager, introduced fairly early on in Shippuden. It was…odd to see him so small. 

“Sai,” Tsunade said gently, “this is Kourubi. She’ll be taking you to your new home.” 

Sai looked me over, his face unreadable, but I got the feeling he was judging me. He moved stiffly to stand beside me, turning back towards Tsunade. 

“Thank you for your medical expertise, Hokage-sama,” he said, his vocal cadence just as stiff as his movements. “I hope to be of use to you as a shinobi of the Leaf from now on.” 

I placed my hand on his shoulder, catching his attention. “Let’s worry about that later, kiddo.” 

“I have chosen to go by Sai,” he corrected me.

Oh, this was going to be fun. “I’ll teach you about nicknames later. If you’ve got all your belongings, we can go.”

“Of course.” 

 

The first thing I did once we left the hospital was call on Mori and Gan. I had no idea what to do with Sai, but perhaps the council could help me find a volunteer to take him. After they flew off, Sai turned to me with a mildly curious look on his face. At least I assumed it was curiosity; Sai was harder to read than Kakashi, and I rarely saw more than a quarter of Kakashi’s face.

“Those crows are your summons?” 

“That’s right,” I said as I led him down the stairs and onto the streets proper.

“The Hokage did not give me your family name,” Sai observed. “But considering your attire and your summons, I assume you’re a member of the Karasuno clan.” 

“You’d be correct.” 

“Danzo-sama mentioned a Karasuno Kourubi many times.” …fuck. “He said she was an enemy of the village, that she was trying to take down Root.”

There was no use lying to the kid. “I did take down Root. But it’s not because I’m an enemy of the village.”

Sai stopped walking. “Why would Danzo-sama lie?”

I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and kept him moving forward. Shit, this was not the place to do this, but if I didn’t do it now I might regret it. “Because that’s what he does. He lies and manipulates and hoards power. He steals orphans and forces them to train and repress their emotions. He tries to kill his old friends out of jealousy and murders an entire clan because they’re not happy with being treated badly. Danzo was the enemy of the village, Sai. Not me.” 

Sai went distressingly quiet. 

“Sorry to break your entire worldview so suddenly, but you had to know,” I apologized. I did feel bad for crushing everything the kid knew all at once. 

“But Danzo-sama said it was for the good of the village…”

I squeezed his shoulder in some attempt to comfort him. “Some of the most dangerous people are the ones who think they’re doing the right thing.”

No answer from Sai. When I looked to make sure he was okay, he seemed to be deep in thought. Great job, Kourubi, give a kid an existential crisis at age 13. Give yourself a pat on the back. 

The council had already gathered in the audience room by the time I got there. I told Sai to stay in the hallway before stepping through the threshold and sliding the shoji closed behind me. 

“Another orphan?” Kiui questioned jokingly. “You sure you don’t want to just start up an orphanage?”

I sighed, sitting on the tatami floor. “Honestly, this time it wasn’t my idea. Root was full of orphans and Tsunade doesn’t know what to do with them. She thought us taking one on might spur the other clans into action. But...given my involvement with the Danzo investigation, I don’t really feel comfortable taking him in directly. I’m sure he’s a good kid underneath all that conditioning and emotional repression but…”

Sasuke nodded. “You’re worried about him still having loyalty to Danzo.”

“I don’t think he realizes that leaders can be fallible,” I agreed. “I flat out told him that Danzo was a liar and he treated it like a damn revelation. The way he is, he’s no better than one of those puppets Suna uses. He needs to learn how to be a person again.”

There was a brief moment of silence. Kasasagi looked down, a thoughtful frown on her face. Ahiru fiddled with the fabric of her obi. I didn’t expect her to be comfortable taking on a child after her experience raising Fukuro. Sukua opened his mouth to say something, but Kamome beat him to it.

“I’ll take him.” 

To say I was surprised would be an understatement. Kamome was loyal, yes, but I never expected her to volunteer to take on a ward simply because I couldn’t. 

“You’re sure?” 

She didn’t waver when I asked. In fact, she smiled a little shyly. “I’ve always wanted a little brother. He looks enough like me from that glance I got before you shut the door that very few people would question it. I think that’d be good for him.”

I felt something warm settle in my chest. It was good to see that the other members of the clan were taking my rants about inclusivity to heart. I stood, walking to the door and sliding it open. Sai, unsurprisingly, had sat obediently beside the door. I wasn’t even sure he’d blinked since I’d left him. 

I motioned for him to stand and follow me, leading him back into the room. I sat him down in front of Kamome, a smile of satisfaction on my face. 

“Sai, this is Kamome. She’ll be your big sister from now on.” 

 

I wandered through the village, my mind churning. Tsunade had only given me two weeks to prepare to seek out Itachi, including putting together a team. It’d have to be a large team, naturally. Itachi and Kisame were too strong for a small squad to deal with properly. Even if all I really wanted to do was talk, there was no guarantee that they wouldn’t put up a fight anyway. I already knew two people that absolutely had to come with me. I wouldn’t, couldn’t, do it without them. 

The problem was finding them. I hadn’t seen them in months…god, that made me sad. 

I wandered the village, stopping at every place I could think of, every place they frequented. Neither was home, which was frustrating but not surprising. Were they even in the village? 

My feet eventually carried me to Keiko-san’s teahouse. I hadn’t been here since that first time. I wondered, for a fleeting moment, how Yu-san was doing. I ducked in, even if my friends weren’t here, I could stop for a cup of tea. 

That was when I caught sight of Mai, sitting at a table with Ryou, with a baby black bear in her lap.

“Okay, I know I haven’t seen you in like, five months, but what is with the bear?” 

Ryou whirled about in his chair, his fire engine red hair hitting him in the face. “Kourubi!” 

I smiled sheepishly, walking closer. “Hey, long time no see.”

“Fucking months, you bitch!” Ryou shouted, earning a disapproving look from Keiko-san from where she was serving tea to a pair of jonin. “And then I hear from Genma you fucking led an army against Shimura Danzo of all people! Is that what you’ve been doing? Planning a fucking revolution?!”

“I mean…not in so many words?” 

Mai gave me a look that plainly said I wasn’t getting out of this without a proper explanation. “Sit.” 

“Sit!” the bear cub in her arms echoed.

I practically fell into the nearest chair. “Okay, but bear first.”

Mai shifted her hold on the bear in question. “This is Kurosuke. I saved him from a bunch of poachers one day on a mission like a month back. He was pretty grateful and led me back to his mum and, wouldn’t you know it, his mom is the Den Mother of the bear summons. So she had me sign the contract and now Kurosuke here is ‘observing’ me to make sure I’m actually worthy.” She smiled down at the little guy. “Isn’t that right, buddy?”

“Uh-huh!” Kurosuke nodded, a bear smile on his bear face. “Mai-chan is very nice.”

“I’m…I gotta be honest, I’ve got no words,” I admitted. “How big’s his mum?” 

Mai made a face. “You know Tsunade-sama’s slug?”

“Yeah?”

“Bigger.”

That was quite the feat, considering how big Katsuyu was. There weren’t a lot of summons that were on par with the slugs, toads, and snakes. The corvids were, apparently, but no one had seen any of the bigger summons in generations. Tou-san’s Kiku was as big as any of the normal summons got. Mai’d landed herself a pretty important contract. I couldn’t help but be impressed.

“Now, it’s your turn,” she said sternly. “The fuck has been going on, Kourubi?” 

I shifted in my chair, eyes darting about the room. “I’m not really at liberty to discuss the details, but I can give you a broad overview.”

“That’s fine,” Ryou insisted. “Just…tell us.”

“Okay.” I took a deep breath to calm my nerves, willing my hands not to shake. “Tsunade offered me a position in the Archive not too long after we returned from Suna. Basically, I was just supposed to organize the documents that had been found after the Third’s death. But while doing so, Sasuke and I found evidence that not everything was as it seemed with Danzo. After informing Tsunade of this, she launched an investigation. Genma, Aoba, Sasuke, and I worked for months to find as much as we could. However, Danzo wasn’t happy with this, and kidnapped Tsugumi-chan in an attempt to force me to stop the investigation. Instead, I ended up being part of a raid against his private army.” 

There was a long moment of silence, only the sounds of the other patrons and Kurosuke’s impatient wiggling in the air. 

“Holy shit, Kourubi.”

I snorted at Ryou’s succinct commentary. “Well, uh, that’s not the only thing.”

“Oh my god,” Mai groaned, laying her head atop Kurosuke’s. “What bullshit are you getting into next?”

My gaze fell to the table. “There was evidence that Danzo was the one to order the Uchiha Massacre. And…I have received permission to go and find Itachi and bring him back.”

Another heavy silence, heavier than the first. 

“You’re taking us with you.” The way Mai said it left no room for argument.

“It’ll be dangerous,” I tried to warn. I should have known that I wouldn’t have to ask. “He’s S-ranked for a reason.”

“Don’t try to act like you weren’t going to ask us to come along,” Ryou chided, waving his dango stick in my face. “Even if you weren’t, you’re not going anywhere without us. Not after all the shit you’ve gotten yourself into on your own.”

I couldn’t help the smile that pulled at my lips. Mai looked at me critically, as if she was finally figuring something out and the answer bothered her somewhat.

“This was your plan from the beginning, wasn’t it?”

Well, no, not really. To say I hadn’t expected this to happen wouldn’t be a lie. “Not really…”

“Don’t lie to me, Kourubi,” she hissed, less threatening and more to keep the other patrons from overhearing. “There’s no way you’d just take a job at some glorified library just because Tsunade-sama asked you to. You’ve always believed Itachi was innocent, or at least not acting of his own volition, and this gave you the chance to prove it. You didn’t just stumble across evidence that Danzo ordered the Massacre, you went looking for it. You wanted to prove that someone was pulling strings. Otherwise you wouldn’t have said that stuff you did to Sasuke back when we saved them in the Forest of Death.”

She had me there. She was wrong that this had been my plan from the beginning; from the start all I wanted was to make Naruto happy. This was just the latest evolution in that general goal. Making Sasuke happy, keeping him safe and healing the damage to his soul, that would make the whole world better. Which, in turn, would make Naruto happy. It was all very selfish. I was very selfish.

“No thirteen year old just up and decides they want to murder their entire clan,” I murmured. “Especially not one like Itachi.”

She stared at me hard, her brown eyes boring deep into my soul. “You think you can save him?”

I met her eyes as best I could. “I’ve got a way with broken people.”

The smile she gave me was heartbreaking. “You do.”

“You’re gonna need more than just us to deal with Itachi,” Ryou reminded me. “Who else are you taking along?”

I shot him a look that clearly said he should know better than to ask. “Guess.”

 

Iruka looked at me like I was insane. “Both of us?!”

Maybe bringing up probably-s-ranked missions just after a make out session was poor form, but the subject had been on my mind. Like, constantly. “There’s no way I’m going on a mission like that without the two of you.”

“I’m still shocked Tsunade-sama even agreed to this,” Kakashi muttered, his forehead resting on my shoulder. “This is insane.”

“ _I_ still can’t believe you want me along,” Iruka admitted. “Why?”

“Your barriers and seals make you worth bringing on any possibly-capture mission,” I insisted, making sure to meet his eyes so he felt the conviction behind the statement. “Plus, your archery gives you a better range than anyone else. Your skill set makes you perfect for this mission, Iruka. Please?”

He sighed, looking terribly unsure about the whole thing despite my confidence in him. “You know I can’t say no to you, Pretty Birdie.” 

“Hey,” I soothed, petting at his hair, “if everything goes right, there won’t be any fighting at all. So, don’t worry, okay?”

“Do you honestly think Itachi will come without a fight?” Kakashi questioned, sounding as unsure as Iruka looked.

I frowned, leaning back against him. “I don’t know. I’m hoping that once he realizes we know the truth, he’ll realize there’s no point keeping up the charade anymore.”

“And his partner?” Kakashi prodded. 

Kisame was a problem. Unless I could give him somewhere to go that wasn’t the Akatsuki, there really wasn’t much I could do. It was a shame, really. Kisame understood all the things I’d ranted about to Danzo and the ANBU agent. He’d been pressured into committing a terrible act, only for the leadership to turn on him for it, despite having been the one to pressure him in the first place. And then he fell right into the hands of the organization that’d made his village that hell in the first place. It was all very tragic. 

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “We’ll just have to see.”

 

I found Sasuke in his room, a place I honestly rarely went. If Sasuke was in need of comfort, it was my room that we went to. If he wanted to talk we’d talk in my room, or the engawa, or the kitchen. It had been my room as a child, but my parents moved me to my room across the hall when I made genin. I hadn’t spent much time in it since. 

“Sasuke?” I called hesitantly. 

He didn’t look away from the window. “I know you’re going after Itachi.”

Well, fuck. “I am.”

He turned then, his eyes a swirling black and red Sharingan. “I’m coming with you.” 

“Sasuke…”

“He’s my brother,” he interrupted. “I’ve…I’ve got to tell him I’m sorry for all those awful things I said! Now that I know…”

I stepped farther into the room. “Sasuke…”

“You can’t stop me!” The shouting was sudden, startling me.

“Dammit, Sasuke, don’t you think I know that!” I shouted back, if only to get him to stop cutting me off. “I wasn’t going to try! I know this is important to you. That’s why I knew you had to be on my team.”

He seemed, genuinely surprised. “You’re not going to tell me it’s too dangerous?”

“Of course it’s dangerous,” I huffed. “Your brother and Kisame are powerful and they don’t have to worry about any political fallout. But…I’m hoping that when Itachi sees that you know what happened…he’ll be more willing to come without a fight. As far fetched as that seems.” 

Sasuke was quiet for a long moment, his eyes fading back to their normal color. His hands smoothed over the dark fabric of his pants, a contemplative frown on his face.

“Will you take him in as well?” he asked quietly. “Like you did me?”

I smiled, reaching forward and pulling him into a gentle hug. “Of course, baby brother.” 

 

 

“It’s been a while, Noboru-sensei.”

Sensei smiled over his teacup, looking a little sad and a lot amused by the statement. “We saw each other just a few days ago. During your…expedition into the Hokage Mountain.” 

“That hardly counts,” I joked. “We barely spoke a word to each other.” 

“True.” He set his cup down, giving me a searching look. “What’s this about, Kourubi.” 

“I guess I can’t beat around the bush with you.” I sighed, all humor leaving the air. “Tsunade-sama has given me permission to lead a mission to bring back Itachi. I’d like you to come with me.”

If sensei hadn’t set his cup down before he’d asked his question, he probably would have dropped it when I answered. He stared at me, slack-jawed and wide-eyed. Then his hands started shaking and the color drained from his face.

“Do you understand how incredibly dangerous that is?!” He was only just barely not yelling. “He’s an S-ranked missing nin, Kourubi, he killed his entire clan-“

“Because Danzo ordered him to,” I interrupted. 

“W-what?”

“I guess you’re the only one I haven’t explained this to.” I took a breath to steady myself. “Danzo ordered the wholesale slaughter of the Uchiha clan. They had been unhappy with their treatment, for good reason if you ask me, and had been planning something of a revolt. Danzo basically told Itachi it was kill the Uchiha himself and be allowed to leave Sasuke alive, or do nothing and watch as his whole family fights and dies. Itachi, at age 13, was forced to choose between the village and his family. He chose the village.” 

“So now that this is known, and Danzo’s been run out of Konoha, you want to bring Itachi back…as a hero?”

“Not exactly,” I admitted. “I’m worried that Danzo will go after Itachi’s eyes. And…I want him and Sasuke to reconcile. Besides…the Akatsuki are only going to get bolder, we need all the strong shinobi we can get.” 

“You think he’ll come back after everything he’s gone through?” That…was the first time anyone had asked that. It was all ‘do you think he’ll come back without a fight’ not ‘what about the shit we put him through’. Of course Noboru-sensei would think about it that way. 

“I don’t know.” I really didn’t. “He has every reason to say no. Still, I’m hoping he’ll come back for Sasuke’s sake.”

“You’re putting a lot of faith in him,” Sensei noted, his expression curious. 

A bitter laugh escaped me. “At this point, that’s all I can do.” 

 

There were a lot of things I expected to happen while meditating on the engawa. I expected to hear bird songs, expected to hear the footsteps of my people wandering up and down the paths outside, expected to feel the sun on my face.

What I didn’t expect was for Sakura to come crashing into the garden like a Soccer Mom onto the field when she didn’t like a call. I stared at her, face blank as my mind ran fifty miles an hour trying to figure out why Sakura had hurtled into my garden like she had. Was someone injured? Did Sasuke do something stupid? No, Sasuke was in his room. Even if he had done something stupid there’s no way Sakura could have known about it. 

“Cherry pie, what’s going –?”

“I’m coming with you!”

I blinked in surprise at the conviction in her voice. “What?”

“Sasuke told me you’re putting together a team to go bring back his brother. I’m coming with you.”

Dammit, baby brother, you don’t just go around talking about S-ranked missions. Even if it was with your Teammate-And-Maybe-Crush. 

“Sakura, you’re not qualified to go on this mission,” I tried to explain. “ _I’m_ barely qualified to go on this mission.”

“You’re taking Sasuke with you,” she argued, fists clenched so tight it seemed like it might be painful.

“Because Itachi might not listen to me if I don’t!” 

“Please.”

The voice was so tiny compared to the shouting from just seconds before that it threw me for a loop. Between blinks, Sakura went from roaring to sobbing. Her shoulders shook and tears streamed down her face.

“I want to be there for Sasuke. I want to help him. I couldn’t before…but I can now. Please.”

Fucking hell…

I stood from the engawa, stepping out into the garden to gather her up in my arms. It was a terrible idea. The only person I was bringing along who could realistically take on Itachi was Kakashi, and we’d already seen how that had gone. ‘Not well’ would have been putting it mildly. But, dammit, if I wasn’t a sucker for friendship and devotion that drove people to teary pleads to help their companions.

“Okay, Cherry pie, you can come,” I conceded. “But…try not to get hurt. I’d like to stay on Tsunade’s good side for as long as humanly possible.”

 

Tsunade stared at us like she clearly thought I was insane. “So this is the team you’re taking to confront Uchiha Itachi and Hoshigaki Kisame…two infamously S-ranked criminals?”

“It sounds like we’re not getting your vote of confidence on this one,” I muttered, embarrassment seeping into my bones. Of course she’d think me taking a bunch of chunin on a mission like this was a bad idea. It _was_ a bad idea. Such a bad idea.

Her eyes swept over the group, stopping on Kakashi and Noboru-sensei. “You know chunin can’t command jonin, right?”

I felt like kicking myself. Of course chunin couldn’t command jonin. That’d be like a lieutenant trying to give orders to a colonel. But still…I’d never feel comfortable letting someone else take the lead on this. I had a specific goal in mind, and that meant I had to be in charge. But if I couldn’t take Kakashi and Noboru-sensei…

“Well,” she sighed in a strangely dramatic fashion, “I was going to offer this eventually anyway.”

What?

“Karasuno Kourubi,” she said sternly, “I would like officially offer you promotion to the rank of jonin.”


	38. In Which We Take Off

The room spun a little as I tried to fully grasp what had just happened.

“I….what?!”

“I was going to have you test for promotion anyway,” Tsunade said blithely, waving away my shock with a careless motion of her hand. “Since you were doing the work of one during the investigation. So we’ll just do this. If the mission goes well, you won’t have to take the promotion exam.”

Tsunade was being distressingly kind with my promotions. First I got promoted to chunin purely because of an old grudge of hers, and now I was being promoted because it was convenient. At least…that’s how it felt. I was sure it was more complicated than that behind the scenes. But still…

“And if the mission doesn’t go well?” I had to ask.

She leveled me with a suddenly stony look. “That depends with how many of your teammates make it back alive.” 

I swallowed thickly. “Fair enough.” 

She beckoned me closer, spreading out a map out on her desk. She outlined a good-sized section of the map as I watched. 

“Our latest intelligence puts Itachi and his partner heading north towards the border of the Land of Flowers. It would be best if you caught up to him before he crossed into their territory.”

“Yes,” I agreed. “But it shouldn’t be terribly inconvenient if he did, considering Hanako-sama is fond of us. I’ll send a bird ahead with a message to warn her.” 

“I can only hope you never have any ambition to take over Konoha,” Tsunade grumbled. “You have far too many foreign allies for any leader to be comfortable.”

I smiled, all teeth and warning. “If you don’t do anything awful then you won’t have anything to worry about.” 

“Just take the map and get out.”

 

We stood just outside the gate, staring at the map Tsunade had given us. It would take several days to make it to the area she’d outlined by foot, but by the time we reached the area Itachi and Kisame would like be gone. We had to move quickly. That wouldn’t be an issue for me and Sasuke. We could fly.

Wait…

“I’ve got an idea. Hold this.” I let go of the map, Noboru-sensei scrambling to catch it before it fell. 

“What are you doing?” Ryou asked, a bit of incredulousness creeping into his tone. 

“Well, Corvids are one of the major summons, like toads and snakes,” I explained, already pricking my thumb with a spare kunai. “So they’ve got to have members of the flock big enough for everyone to ride.” 

“Why do we need a ride?” 

“Because by the time we get to where Itachi and Kisame are now, they’ll already be gone.” I slammed my hands down on the ground, pushing as much chakra into the summoning seal as allowed. 

A great cloud of smoke billowed out, far larger than any I’d seen previously, or had been expecting. As it cleared, we were greeted by a mass of white feathers. A raven, larger than the Hokage tower, stood before us, staring down at us with red eyes. Oh…that’s…that’s a very big raven. 

Noboru leaned forward, speaking quietly so as to not alert the Boss Summon I’d just called. “Did you mean for them to be that big?”

“Uhhhh, no. No I did not.”

“Who has summoned me?” He queried, sounding far less annoyed than most of the chief summons when called.

“I have,” I answered. “Karasuno Kourubi, head of my clan.”

“Oh-ho!” The white raven leaned down, eyeing me closely. “I haven’t been summoned in generations, it seems. Tell me your lineage, nestling.”

“Nestling?” I echoed under my breath before shaking my head and answering him. “I am Karasuno Kourubi, head of my clan, daughter of Isamu, son of Washi, son of Tsuru—”

“Yes!” The raven’s excited outburst startled me so badly I almost fell back on my ass. “I thought you were her descendent. You have Tsu-chan’s eyes. Like mine, see?”

He leaned farther down, pushing his face (and by extension his red eye) towards me. 

“So it seems,” I said softly, reaching out hesitantly to pet at his beak. He didn’t seem to mind, trilling a bit at the motion. “What is your name, sage?” 

“I am called Shinonome, Sage-Father of the Corvids, Wings of the Dawn,” he announced, lifting himself back to full height and spreading his massive wings. I winced at the sound of trees falling over. “Why have you called me here, nestling?”

“Not a nestling,” I corrected automatically. It was bad enough that the clan elders still called me a child; I didn’t need it from a bird. “And I hope it’s not to much to ask, Shinonome-sama, but we are after a pair of men and must catch up to them quickly. My brother and I can fly using clan techniques, but the others cannot. Could you give them a ride on your back?”

Shinonome looked over my team, eyeing them curiously. His feathers puffed up for a brief moment before settling again, as if he was trying to reign in his excitement. He turned back to me. “The wings your birds would give you could not keep up with mine. I will carry all of you upon my back.” 

My brows furrowed. “Are you sure?”

“Of course,” he assured. “The little ones could fly ahead while we prepare, and could be your eyes as you ride atop my back.”

“You did want to send warning ahead to Hanako,” Mai reminded from behind me. 

“Fair enough,” I agreed. I turned to Shinonome again. “Thank you for your generosity, Shinonome-sama.”

“Think nothing of it, little one.” Still annoying, but better than ‘child’ or ‘nestling’. 

“Gan.” My partner fluttered down to rest on my arm. “Fly off to the Land of Flowers and give Hanako a heads up.” 

“What should I tell her?”

I thought for a moment. What would make sure Hanako kept an eye out but wouldn’t reveal anything too sensitive? “Tell her that we’re currently tracking a former ally that’s making their way towards her country. We’re going to try and stop them before they reach the Land of Flowers, but we can’t guarantee anything.” 

Gan nodded a little bird nod and took off towards the north. I called Mori down as well. “Fly ahead with Tsutsugi, but make sure you stay within jutsu range.” 

She and Tsutsugi flew off. We turned to Shinonome, who lowered himself for us to climb aboard. He was plenty large enough for the eight of us, but we probably wouldn’t have been able to fit anyone else. We clung tightly to his feathers as he took to the air. The wind bit at my cheeks and stung my eyes. I was lucky that I’d already started wearing my winter clothing. If I’d been wearing my tunic and shorts I would have froze in minutes. 

After the initial surge of speed, Shinonome fell into a fairly smooth glide over the forest. It was a far more manageable speed for both us and him. 

“North towards the Land of Flowers, little one?”

“That’s right,” I confirmed, settling down into his feathers. Holy crap were they soft. 

Sasuke sat beside me, his hands flying through a series of hand signs. “I’ll keep watch.”

I shook my head. “Save your chakra, it’ll be a while before we reach the area where Itachi was last spotted. Wait until we’re closer.” 

Sasuke glanced my way, a frown on his face. He was impatient. I could understand that. “We’ll find him soon enough, baby brother.”

“Kourubi.” I turned to see Iruka make a ‘come here’ gesture with his hand, a paint brush and bottle of ink in his other hand. I scooted over to him, not wanting to stand and walk given the precariousness of my perch. “Turn around for me. And hold up your hair.” 

I gave him a confused look, but complied nonetheless. I gathered my hair up in my hands. When on earth had it gotten this long? I pulled it gently over my shoulder, baring the back of my neck to Iruka. He brushed a few more stray strands of hair out of the way, his hand still warm despite the bitter chill.

I flinched as something cold and wet touched my skin. “What was THAT?!” 

“Seal ink,” Iruka said. “Now hold still. I don’t want to get on your clothes. Kasasagi would kill me.” 

“But it’s cold,” I whined. 

“There’s not a heck of a lot I can do to fix that,” Iruka stated, not stopping for a moment in his inking of my neck. “Just bear with it for now. I’ll be done soon.” 

I made a whining noise in the back of my throat, but did my best to keep from squirming. Soon enough, there was a tingling sensation and the sudden feeling like someone had tossed a sheet over my head. 

“There, it’s done,” Iruka announced. “How’s it feel?”

“Like someone tossed a sheet over me in an attempt to hide me from their parents.” 

“That means it’s working,” Iruka said with a laugh, already moving on to the next person in line.

“What’s this seal supposed to do?” I asked, tapping at the ink and finding it miraculously dry. 

“Oi! I didn’t say you could touch it yet! It’s supposed to keep anyone from accessing and tampering with your chakra,” he explained. “In theory, it should protect us from any genjutsu. If we’re lucky, it will also keep Samehada from draining our chakra.”

“You’ve been reading the Bingo Book, haven’t you?” Kakashi mused, watching with curious eyes as Iruka’s brush slid across Mai’s scarred skin. 

“One of us had to be prepared.” That came off snippier than I assumed Iruka intended, giving how his face flushed the minute he stopped talking. I couldn’t blame him. This was stressful. If we failed…I didn’t want to think about what would happen if we failed. 

“Kakashi-san. Apply my seal, would you?” 

I watched as Kakashi lowered Iruka’s collar and began applying ink with surprisingly gentle precision. His concentration was solely on that patch of skin between Iruka’s collar and his hairline as he covered it in jet-black ink. It was almost hypnotic. 

Kakashi suddenly pulled back, startling me from my staring. “Did I do it correctly, Iruka-sensei?” 

Iruka sat silently for a moment, a thoughtful look on his face. Eventually, he turned to Kakashi with a smile. “Yes, thank you, Kakashi-san.” 

Kakashi handed over the ink and brush Iruka had lent him, lingering just a second longer than necessary. “No problem.” 

 

Some time passed, I couldn’t be sure how long. We were making good time, with Shinonome’s giant wings carrying us over the trees. We’d lapsed into a comfortable silence, though Sasuke was obviously itching to start the real hunt for Itachi.

Suddenly, Shinonome bobbed in the air, knocking us prone. I clung to his feathers with one hand, reaching out and tucking Sakura under my other arm. “Shinonome-sama? What was that?”

“My apologies, little one,” Shinonome called over the roaring wind. “But the one with the red wings says she’s spotted them.” 

What? But it was too soon. It’d only been a few hours at most; we weren’t anywhere near where Itachi and Kisame had last been spotted. Had they doubled back? Why? I reached out for Mori with my chakra, peering through her eyes. Indeed, through the trees I could see Kisame’s hulking form following after Itachi. 

I released Mori from the jutsu, turning to Sasuke with a nod. He mirrored my movements as I ran through the signs for another jutsu, calling out to Mori one more time. My wings were smaller with just one of my birds, less sturdy. I wouldn’t be able to hold the jutsu long.

Didn’t need to.

Sasuke and I dove for the tree line, carried on wings of midnight black and sunset red. Itachi, hearing the sound of our wings beating, turned and watched us pass overhead and land across from him, a tiny forest stream drawing a metaphorical line in the sand. 

Kisame reached for Samehada.

I threw up my hands, palms out and empty. “Hold up. We didn’t come to fight.”

At that moment, Shinonome landed behind us, crushing several trees in his wake. My team dismounted, posture stiff and aggressive. Fuck…

Itachi’s eyes made their way the line, Sharingan activated but no Mangekyo in sight yet. “You seem to have brought an awful lot of back up for someone who didn’t come to fight.”

I shrugged, keeping my movement as loose and casual as possible in spite of my thundering heart. “To be fair, I had no way to guarantee you’d listen to what I have to say.” 

He looked at me, face unreadable, Sharingan spinning lazily. Kisame waited, for what I couldn’t be sure. Permission, probably. 

“And what exactly is it you have to say?”

I smiled, honest and kind, and that seemed to surprise them.

“Itachi, I’ve come to bring you home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I being mean with these cliff hangers? 
> 
> Sorry for the shorter chapter this week, but next time's should make up for it. It's very dramatic.
> 
> On another note: Kourubi and I are having our birthday's this week! Mine's on the 19th and hers is on the 18th! Look at us, we're getting old...ahahaha.


	39. In Which We are All Very Stubborn

“Take me home?” Itachi echoed, his voice edging towards skeptical. “Is that what they call arresting now?”

I shook my head, my smile falling into something softer. “Nope. I mean it literally. I’ve come to bring you home. We know what really happened to the Uchiha –”

“I killed them,” Itachi interrupted. 

“Under orders.” 

Itachi stiffened, just enough to be noticeable. Kisame’s gaze shifted to his partner, a confused frown tugging at his lips. 

“We found the Third’s records. We know that Danzo ordered you to do it, that he threatened Sasuke. Why the Third kept such damning evidence of his own corruption, I couldn’t tell you…except maybe because he knew by the time we found it he’d be beyond punishment.” My hands fell, clenching tightly at my side. “But we know you were acting under orders…orders that should have never been given. What happened to your family is a tragedy, Itachi, one that never should have fallen on your shoulders.

“But now we know it was Danzo’s fault. And he’s gone now, chased out of the village and his private army disbanded. But I’m worried he’ll come for you, Itachi, for your eyes. Like he did for Shisui’s…”

“I took Shisui’s eyes,” Itachi snapped. 

“Bullshit!” I fired back, startling the others. “If you had taken Shisui’s eyes, you wouldn’t be half blind by now!”

There was a heavy silence, Itachi staring at me in shock, just like my team. Noboru took a single, tiny step forward.

“What are you talking about, Kourubi?”

I turned to meet his eyes for a moment before turning back and answering. “Power always comes with a price, the Sharingan doubly so. For one, the Mangekyo only develops after a moment of intense stress, sorrow, and guilt. The Uchiha interpreted this to mean being responsible for the death of someone close to you. Because the Uchihas are masochists, I guess.”

Sasuke and Itachi both shifted uncomfortably. 

“For another thing, prolonged used of the Mangekyo causes the user to go blind…unless they replace their eyes with the Sharingan of another.” I pointed at Itachi. “If you’d actually taken Shisui’s eyes for power, then you wouldn’t be going blind right now. You wouldn’t need your normal Sharingan just to see the world around you!” 

“What’s your point?” Itachi demanded, his voice low and dangerous sounding.

“That you’re not the monster you tried to make us think you are,” I said, my hand dropping back to my side. “That you were a child who was taken advantage of by a man who should have known better…should have been better. That you should come home…please.” 

“Did the Hokage order this mission?”

“No,” I admitted. “I asked Tsunade to let me do this…demanded it, really.” 

“Why?”

“Because…” Why _did_ I want to save Itachi so bad? Yes, there was a reason for what he did to the Uchiha clan…but who knows what else he’s done since then. I’d already saved Sasuke…wasn’t that enough for me? No. No, it wasn’t! Itachi had love stolen from him, too. And what good was I if I didn’t try to reimburse all the love he could have received if Danzo hadn’t been there? “Because, it was a miracle that I was able to save Sasuke. And maybe it’s asking too much, but right now I’m begging the universe to give me another so I can save you too! Because …because if Sasuke is my brother then so are you!” 

And for a moment, for one hopeful moment, Itachi looked like he might believe me. That he might come with me. Then, he looked away. He closed his eyes and turned away from me.

“Foolish.” 

God, he was just as stubborn as Sasuke was…as I was. He really did belong with the Karasuno Clan. “Maybe so. But I’d rather be a fool who tries to save a dying man than a coward who tries to trick his brother into killing him to satisfy his guilt complex!” 

His eyes shot open. Right, I wasn’t supposed to know about the illness. Wasn’t supposed to know about a lot of things, but too late for that now.

“Whatever illness you have will kill you long before Sasuke ever could,” I told him plainly. “Not that he wants to anymore.”

Itachi’s eyes flickered over to Sasuke, who stood fast under the crimson gaze. “The only one who deserves to die for what happened to our clan is Danzo. You’ve suffered enough…nii-san.” 

Itachi’s stare softened at the honorific, but just for a moment. In the next instant his eyes were hard again, his face unreadable once more. 

“How do I know this isn’t some ploy? What promise do I have that the Hokage won’t kill me the moment I step back into the village? Your acting is very good, I must admit. But you won’t be tricking me.” 

“I’m not tricking you!” I shouted, tears of frustration prickling at the corners of my eyes.

“I have no reason to believe your words.” He turned to walk away, Kisame moving to follow after him. 

Of course he didn’t. Not after everything Konoha had done to him. I was stupid to think words alone could convince him, no matter how heartfelt. 

Wait –!

I whirled on Iruka, who’d been watching silently this whole time, his hand clenching at the arrow tattoo on his arm. He flinched back as my eyes met his. 

“Iruka! Remove the seal!” 

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Itachi stop. Iruka’s eyes grew wide at my order.

“W-what?!” 

“He has no reason to believe my words,” I echoed. “And I can’t blame him for that. But if he could see my mind, then he’d know I’m sincere!” 

“Kourubi, that’s insane!” Iruka shouted, panic pitching his voice higher than normal. “The last time he used his genjutsu on someone they ended up in a coma for at least a week!”

“Thanks for the reminder,” Kakashi muttered, stuffing his hands deeper in his pockets.

“Iruka, please!” I begged.

For a moment, just a moment, he looked like he’d listen to me. But then he shook his head, his dark eyes sharp and his posture unyielding. “I’m not doing it, Kourubi.”

I gritted my teeth against the shout that clawed at my throat. Dammit, Iruka, now was not the time to finally decide you can in fact say no to me. 

“Fine,” I snapped. I turned to Kakashi. “Can you remove the seal?” 

Kakashi leveled me with a hard stare. “Am I capable of doing so? Yes. Am I going to? No.”

“Dammit, Kakashi, why not?!” 

“Because we have no guarantee that he won’t hurt you,” Kakashi hissed, concern and anger filling his voice as his shoulders tensed. “Acting in good faith with a person like him is going to get you killed!” 

“Good faith is the only thing that will keep this world from falling apart!” I shot back. “You worked with him in ANBU, Kakashi, did he honestly seem like a guy who would hurt someone without reason?”

Kakashi didn’t answer me. 

“Please,” I repeated. 

“Just because he acted on orders doesn’t make him any less dangerous,” Kakashi argued. 

“Fine!” I didn’t bother stopping myself from yelling that time. I turned to Noboru-sensei. “Can you –?”

“Do you honestly think I’d allow you to put yourself in even more danger than you already have?” Noboru asked incredulously, arms folded tightly across his chest. 

I flat out snarled before turning to Ryou, who met my glare one for one. 

“The only seals I have any practice with are storage seals. But even if I did know how to undo the seal, there’s no way I’d enable you doing something so stupid and reckless!” 

Desperation clawed at my heart as my eyes found Mai, who looked honestly apologetic about the whole thing.

“I don’t know anything about seals, Kourubi, you know that.” 

I felt like pulling my hair out. Why? Why couldn’t they do this for me? Didn’t they see how important this was? How important saving Itachi was? I didn’t bother asking Sasuke and Sakura. Even if they would do it for me, they didn’t have the training. I wanted to scream, wanted to cry. But I couldn’t do that here, not now. I’d say things I didn’t mean. I’d hurt someone. 

I couldn’t undo the seal. I didn’t have the skill or the patience. I had to do something drastic.

“What happens next is on you,” I hissed, leveling my team with a glare before I turned back to Itachi. 

I reached back, pulling my hair over my shoulder, exposing the seal on the back of my neck to the cool autumn air. I held up my hand, feeling the chakra build up in it and spark. The song that came from my palm was soft and calm, in a language that I didn’t recognize. The dissonance between the serenity of the sound and the insanity of what I was about to do was beautiful in a way. 

“Kou—?”

Pain, hot and sharp, scorched through my nerves the moment my hand touched the back of my neck. I attacked the seal with everything I had. Every vibration, every volt of electricity, and every ounce of chakra I could spare. Screams were ripped from me, clawing and tearing at my throat as they escaped. Something soft fell about me, but I couldn’t see it. My eyes were closed too tightly against the pain. The feeling that the seal left on my skin, the strange sheet of protection, flickered. It wavered. It cracked. It shattered.

I wrenched my hand away, feeling sparks flicker over my skin, lingering in my nerves. My whole body was tense and twitching. Pain radiated from the back of my neck and down my spine. Burning, shooting, tingling, stabbing pain. 

I forced my eyes open, desperate to see through the tears of pain. What was on the ground around me? The stuff that had fallen earlier. I couldn’t see it clearly. I reached down with my hand, feeling…strands of hair. My hair. The lightning had shorn it right off. 

Oh…

I reached up; thankful to feel my feathers were still attached to what hair had not been cut. At least I didn’t lose those. 

I looked up, blinking away my tears as I tried to see how Itachi had reacted. His eyes were wide, horror and amazement warring in them. Kisame gaped at me, his hand having falling from Samehada. It must have truly shocked them if I managed to pull those kinds of expressions out of them. 

“Senpai!” Sakura dove for me, hands glowing medical green. That eased my pain, at least a little. The others tried to crowd around me mere seconds later, only to be waved off by Sakura. But that wasn’t the important part.

“The seal’s gone,” I told Itachi, my voice raspy from screaming. “You can…you can use your Mangekyo now…”

Itachi stared down at me, brows furrowed, like he was trying to come to a decision. 

“There’s no need for that,” he said. “I will return with you.” 

Oh…!

“You _bastard!_ ” In the next moment, Ryou was across the clearing and punching Itachi square in the jaw. “You couldn’t have said that before she tried to electrocute herself?! This…this is all your fault!”

“Ryou, can we please not punch him right after we got him back on our side?” I requested, exhaustion already seeping into my bones.

He whirled on me, fury pinching his features in a way that was almost frightening. “No! I’d punch you too if you hadn’t just hurt yourself! So just know that I’m punching you in my head! So much punching!” 

I laughed, the sound harsh to my ears. “Yeah, okay. Did it at least look badass? That’d really make up for all the ow.”

Ryou unleashed some incomprehensible, angry sounding screaming-growling-shouting noise at me, accompanied by some violent looking throttling motions. A haggard looking Kakashi blocked my view of him just as he was about to flip me the bird. Kakashi cupped my cheeks and pulled me into a hard kiss through his mask that left me breathless.

“Never, and I mean _never_ , do something like that again,” he ordered. 

“I didn’t have any other choice,” I whispered. 

He shook his head desperately. “There are always other choices.”

“I tried, but you wouldn’t let me take them.” 

“Don’t you dare put this on us!” I’d never heard Kakashi sound so angry…not at me.

“I tried, Kakashi!” I shouted, pulling away from him. “I told you to undo the seal. I ordered you. I _begged_ you! But you wouldn’t listen to me! None of you would! I had to find a way to break it and I did! It could have been easier. It could have been painless. But you took those options away from me. So yes, I will put this on you! I will put this on all of you!

“Maybe next time you’ll listen to me.”

Kakashi stood suddenly, the motion almost violent, and walked away from me, rubbing his hands over his face. Perhaps it was wrong to push so much guilt onto him, on to the others, but I was angry. It wasn’t right for him to take away my options and then tell me I could have chosen another way. I’d tried. It wasn’t my fault they wouldn’t listen to me!

Iruka knelt beside me, watching Sakura work her magic on my back. “Will she be okay?”

“I think so, yes,” Sakura answered, moving her healing chakra further down my back. “There’s nerve damage, unsurprisingly, but it doesn’t seem like anything that won’t heal over time. It will be a slow process, as all recovery from nerve damage is. Then there’s the scar…”

“Scar?” Kakashi echoed, walking back over. 

Sakura nodded, pulling down the back of my collar for Kakashi to see. I could only imagine what it looked like. I’d seen images of Lichtenburg figures before – those strange, vein-like patterns that lightning left behind –but I’d never seen one personally. And now I wore one. 

“It’s a miracle she didn’t go into cardiac arrest,” Sakura continued. “But it seems that the seal did indeed take the brunt of the damage. It left a scar, too. See here?” I could feel the warmth of Sakura’s hand at the back of my neck but…

“If you’re touching me, Sakura, I can’t feel it.” 

Sakura sighed. “I’m not surprised. Seeing as that was the place you attacked directly, it probably took the most damage. It’s likely you won’t get feeling back in the places the ink was even after the rest of your nerves have recovered. When we get back, we’ll have Tsunade-sama take a look to see if she can’t help speed up the recovery process. Ryou-senpai and I have only just begun studying neurology.”

“You’ve done plenty, cherry pie. I feel better already.” It still hurt, but it was better than what it had been. More of a dull, low level of pain than the sharp, tear inducing pain I’d had just moments before. Bless who ever invented medical ninjutsu. Give them a goddamn cookie. 

Iruka watched me, expression somber. He reached up, hand threading through what little bit of hair he could still tangle his fingers in. “I’m sorry. I was trying to keep you from getting hurt.”

“I know.” I pressed a kiss to the scar that cut across his face. “But I got hurt anyway. Hurt is part our lives as shinobi…but this…this could have been avoided. I just…I need you to listen to me. I don’t normally do crazy things without good reason.” 

“You always have good reasons,” Iruka argued mildly. 

I smiled. “All the more reason to listen to me, yeah?” 

Iruka let out a breathy half-laugh. “Yeah.” 

Kakashi knelt in front of me, raising his hand to cup my jaw and turn my face toward him. “I’m sorry for backing you into this corner. You’re right, if we’d listen to you from the start…we should have trusted you.” 

“I appreciate you trying to protect me,” I assured him. “But this wasn’t where I needed it. For what it’s worth…I’m sorry I yelled at you. And I’m sorry for worrying you.” I raised my head to look to the rest of my team. “All of you.”

“Maybe it’s a good thing I don’t go on missions with you anymore,” Noboru joked. “Because if they’re all like this, I’ll be going grey before I hit thirty.” 

“I’m sure Gai-sensei will think you’re just as handsome,” Mai assured him with a roll of her eyes. She turned her attention to me, her gaze suddenly sharp and no-nonsense. “Seriously though, never fucking do that again.” 

“I’ll try not to,” I promised. 

“The question now, I suppose,” Noboru mused, turning to Itachi and Kisame, “is what are we to do with the other one.”

All eyes went to Kisame as I pushed up onto my feet. He met my eyes steadily. 

“Yeah, what are you going to do with me?” he asked, sounding the kind of casual that told me that, while he was impressed by my stunt, he still didn’t think of me as a threat. 

“I don’t know,” I confessed. “But I can’t let you go back to the Akatsuki. They won’t give you what you want, Kisame. Not really.”

His eyes narrowed and his stance stiffened. “What do you know about what I want?”

“A world without lies.” His lips twitched downwards at my words. “He promised you a world without lies. He can’t give that to you. It doesn’t exist. The world he would make for you would itself be a lie. A genjutsu.”

Kisame took a step towards me, heavy and imposing, only stopped by a subtle movement from Itachi. 

“This world sucks, I get that. But at least it’s real! At least you can make it better with your own two hands.” My voice was getting louder again, my throat protesting. “What truth could you possibly find with a man who played puppeteer with the Mizukage for god knows how long?”

“What do you mean?” Sasuke asked. “How could someone control a Kage like that?”

“The same way anyone else would control a tailed beast inside a jinchuriki,” I hissed. 

Kakashi stiffened beside me. “But that would mean…either wood style or a Sharingan. Are you saying an Uchiha was manipulating the Mizukage?”

Well, yeah, but you lot shouldn’t know that yet. I had to make up a decent excuse.

“Not necessarily,” I said. “You’re living proof that you don’t have to be an Uchiha to use a Sharingan.”

Kakashi looked downright sickly with how pale he became. No surprise, seeing as I just implied that someone had stolen Obito’s other eye. Still, he’d probably find that more palatable than the idea that Obito was alive and his enemy. 

“His name is Uchiha Madara,” Kisame growled.

Even Itachi flinched at the name. 

“That can’t be,” Iruka insisted. “Uchiha Madara died years ago!” 

“More than one person can be named Madara,” Ryou pointed out.

“Believe me,” Sasuke said, his voice cold, “no Uchiha would name their child Madara.” 

“You know what the plan is, Kisame, I know you do.” I begged myself not to waver. Kisame…I wanted to be able to save Kisame, too. He’d been hurt by the world just as much as anyone else had. He could be a good man. “You know it’s a lie. All of it. This world is terrible, I understand, but you can fix this one.”

“The revolution in Kiri was successful,” Noboru piped up. “They’ve lost many good men, and they’re going to have to rebuild from the ground up. You could go back…and build that world you want there.” 

“I’m not going back to Kiri,” Kisame snapped, hand reaching for Samehada’s handle. “I won’t go back to a place where I’m forced to kill my comrades.”

“The people who did that are gone,” I reminded him. “That was the place controlled by your Madara. This Kiri can be better than that. You can make it better than that.

“Besides…do you really want to return to the Akatsuki without your partner?” 

Kisame glanced to Itachi. Kisame held him in such a high regard that I could only hope that an absence of Itachi was enough to deter Kisame from returning to the Akatsuki. Itachi stepped away from Kisame, moving to stand with me and my team. Emotions flashed over Kisame’s face in rapid succession – confusion, anger, sorrow – but most of all he just looked lost. The moment Itachi began shucking his cloak, Kisame seemed to make up his mind.

“I can’t go back to the Cypher Corps.”

I frowned. “No one is asking you to.” 

“Then…what are you asking me to do?”

“The same thing I’m doing,” I told him simply. “Changing the world for the better.” 

He frowned thoughtfully once more. I sighed, motioning for Shinonome.

“Look, for the moment, we’ll call a truce. I’m taking Itachi and my team and we’re going to go sleep in a fucking castle. You coming?” 

A short glance to Itachi, and Kisame was striding forward. “You’ve got a castle?”

“Nah, but I know a princess. It’ll be a tight fit but…” I turned to Shinonome. “Can you carry two more?”

“Kourubi-dono, I can carry as many as you need.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featured Song:
> 
> [There Will Be Time by Mumford and Sons ft. Baaba Maal](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmycEKdD0b0)
> 
> Look! I didn't even end it on a mean cliffhanger this time! We will be seeing Kourubi's mindscape soon, so don't worry if you happened to be curious what that might look like. Also, my apologies if the bit with Kisame is weaker than the rest of the chapter. I had to rewrite it after finding out that Kisame *did* know that "Madara" was manipulating the Mizukage. You'd think he'd be less inclined to follow the asshole causing Kiri to be such an awful place, but I guess not. 
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you think in the comments! Til next time~


	40. In Which I Go Somplace Familiar

Hanako was waiting for us when we arrived, Gan sitting on her shoulder. He must have sensed me as we approached. Suzukaze and Motohiro stood with her, staring in awe as we touched down. 

“Kourubi-san!” Hanako called in greeting, coming towards me with her arms open. “It’s been too long!”

“Hello, Hanako-sama,” I greeted in turn, taking the offered hug and giving one in return. “Sorry for dropping in so suddenly, but if it’s between your castle and literally anywhere else, I’ll pick sleeping here.” 

She laughed lightly. She seemed…happier than the last time I saw her. More confident and content. It warmed my heart. 

“You’re always welcome here, Kourubi-san,” she assured me. Her eyes strayed to my hair, a confused frown settling on her face. “Your hair…looks like Sasuke-san’s used to.”

What? Oh. Right. I reached up and touched the frayed ends of my hair. “That…wasn’t the intention. I had an accident with a jutsu…”

I didn’t actually want Hanako to know that I’d basically attacked myself with a handful of lightning. She had enough to worry about running a country; there was no need for her to be concerned about me. 

“I can fix it for you,” she offered. “I can’t make it grow back or anything but…”

I smiled, stopping her from what I could tell would be ramble. “I’d appreciate it.”

She let out a breath of what I assumed was relief. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Suzukaze striding forward to greet Kakashi with a firm handshake. I turned slightly to watch as Kakashi brought Iruka forward to introduce him, Kakashi’s hand lingering on Iruka’s shoulder. Hanako followed my gaze and smiled. 

“A new friend?” she asked playfully, hiding her smile behind the sleeve of her kimono. 

“For you,” I replied in the same teasing tone. “That’s Iruka, my boyfriend.”

Confusion passed over Hanako’s face. “Oh…I thought you were with Kakashi-san.” 

“I am.”

More confusion. “Are they both aware…?”

“Oh yes,” I assured her with a grin. “It’s rare that I spend a night without both of them in my bed.”

An embarrassed pink dusted her cheeks. “I see.” She cleared her throat and quickly brushed pass the topic. “We will have rooms made for all of you, of course. And we’ll have your current clothes laundered. We’ll provide yukata for you to wear in the mean time.”

Motohiro motioned for us to follow. I lingered behind with Hanako. Kisame seemed to hesitate as well. Hanako caught his gaze and flashed him a gentle smile. “I’m sure we have a yukata that will fit you as well.” 

Kisame quickly broke eye contact and marched off after Motohiro and the others. 

“He’s shy,” Hanako observed with a giggle. 

“I don’t think he’s used to being treated like a person,” I admitted, stuffing my hands deep into my pockets. “Most people freak out when they see him for the first time.”

“He is rather frightening looking,” she agreed. “But after someone comes for your life, anything short of that doesn’t really frighten you anymore.” She paused, a thoughtful frown on her face. “Except spiders. I do hate spiders.” 

I laughed at that, my throat protesting. “No kidding. Spiders are the worst.” 

She turned towards the castle, waiting for me. Before I left, I turned to Shinonome. 

“You can go home now, Shinonome-sama,” I told him. “Thank you for your service.”

“You will need me again tomorrow,” he reasoned. “I will remain. Surely there is ample room on the palace grounds for me to slumber.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Most certainly,” he said. “There is no need for you to waste your chakra summoning me again tomorrow. I will stay. Besides, I wish to converse more with the little ones. Much has changed since Tsuru last summoned me.” 

“Alright. Try not to crush any flowers…or knock over any trees.” I turned back to walk with Hanako towards the castle. 

“Lee-san did not come with you this time?” Hanako asked, sounding disappointed. 

“Afraid not,” I answered. “He wasn’t qualified for the mission. Maybe next time.” 

“Well, hopefully he’ll be able to come for the wedding.”

I blinked owlishly at her. “Wedding? Are you getting married?”

She smiled, her cheeks turning pink once again. “Yes.”

“Congratulations!” I shouted gleefully, slinging an arm over her shoulder to pull her into a hug, “When’s the ceremony?”

“Soon,” she said, her giddiness leaking into her voice. “We sent out the invitations just yesterday. Hopefully, they will have arrived when you get home.” 

“We’ll have to see.”

She led me up several flights of stairs, past the hall I recognized as the guest wing and along a secluded corridor. There were no doors, just portrait after portrait of the royal family. At the end of the hall, which seemed relatively short compared to others in the palace, was a set of double doors, flanked by two stern looking shinobi guards. 

Hanako swept past without a word to either of them, throwing open the doors and gesturing for me to follow her inside. The guards shut the door with a soft clicking sound behind us. The room was almost frighteningly large, the bed in the center of the space larger than even mine back home. Gold leaf covered many intricate designs that had been carved into the crown molding, most of them of flowering trees. 

She grabbed my hand and led me through a side door into an ensuite bathroom nearly as big as the bedroom. She released my hand; popping over to a small cupboard and pulling out a large towel. She tossed this onto the floor just in front of the large, floor-to-ceiling mirror that took up the entire wall. She grabbed a small chair from a makeup-covered counter and dragged it into the center of the towel.

“Sit,” she instructed, pointing at the chair. 

“Yes, your majesty,” I joked, earning me a smack on the arm as I sat.

“None of that now,” she grumbled, running her fingers through my hair. She carefully removed my feathers, handling them like one would a fine glass vase. “These are important to you, aren’t they?”

“They are,” I agreed. “I need…I need at least some part of my hair long enough so I can still wear them.” 

“I see,” Hanako hummed softly. She picked up a pair of scissors from the counter and walked over. The feeling of her delicate fingers running through my hair was soothing. Or it would be, if it weren’t for my lack of hair. Just as the motion got going it stopped. It was frustrating. I hated it.

The sound of blades slicing through what was left made my breath catch in my throat. The sight of the strands falling to the ground made my lip tremble. Hanako stopped, a gentle hand coming to rest on my shoulder.

“Kourubi-san?”

“It shouldn’t be this painful,” I admitted, forcing a bitter smile through the tears that rolled down my cheeks. “It should be just hair. But it’s not. It’s starting all over again. I get called child so often…and this isn’t going to help.”

“Your clan has a tradition, doesn’t it?” 

I nodded. “In my clan, short hair is for children. Adults have their feathers, so they need long hair. Can’t hold your feathers if you don’t have the hair for it. I had short hair longer than anyone else in my clan. I was just starting to look like an adult, to be seen like an adult. Like a leader. Now…I’ll look even more like a child to them.” 

“They’ll be wrong.” A pair of hands settled gently on my shoulders. “You cannot let how they view you affect you so. You are their leader. If they cannot follow you simply because of your hair, then they do not deserve you. Those who follow you no matter what…those are the ones who matter.”

I wished I could feel that in my bones. Intellectually, I knew Hanako was right. Goddamn was she good at being right. I wished I could be that damn good at it. Then maybe I wouldn’t get called child as often as I did. 

“I can leave it,” she offered. 

“No,” I decided. “Just…leave some long enough for my feathers.” 

The sound of snipping scissors filled the almost uncomfortably silent bathroom, echoing off the high ceiling. Hair fell from my head and tears fell from my eyes. Hanako cut my hair short, tight against the back of my head; it reminded me a bit of Shizune’s hair, though admittedly far shorter. The front of my hair she left as long as she possibly could. She took the long strands at the side of my head and pulled them back, tying them off along with my feathers. It wasn’t a perfect solution, but I wasn’t about to complain after she did so much. 

“Thank you.” 

“Don’t thank me yet,” Hanako chided playfully. She disappeared into her room, only to come back a few moments later with a bundle of periwinkle fabric in her hands. “Here. Wear this while the staff launders your clothes.” 

I took the clothing from her, brows furrowing. “Is this…your yukata?”

She nodded. “It might be a bit short, but it should fit you fine otherwise.” 

“You know,” I teased, “people are gonna think you’re playing favorites.”

“Oh, I am absolutely playing favorites,” she agreed, smiling widely. “Put in on, quickly, I need to make sure it fits like I think it does.” 

I turned around, shucking my hooded shirt. A gasp behind me made me pause. A small hand touched my back, sending shooting pain up my spine. I winced, and the hand flinched back. 

“I’m sorry!” Hanako sounded so panicked. “I shouldn’t have touched it.”

“It’s fine.” It really wasn’t, but I wasn’t going to tell her that. “Just surprised me.”

“Was that…from the accident as well?”

“Yeah,” I said with a small nod, my voice quiet. “Is it bad?”

“It looks like roots have grown all down your back,” she described. “Does it hurt?”

I nodded. “It probably will for a long time…until my nerves heal more.” 

Hanako didn’t say anything else. Instead, she silently helped me into the yukata. Her gentle hands smoothed the soft fabric over my shoulders, careful to avoid touching my back.

“You look lovely,” she said, and it almost hurt to hear the sincerity in her voice. Was this how Mai felt when she lost her hair? When she got her scars? 

Hanako handed off my clothes to a maid, warning her to be careful of the feathers in my hood in a hushed tone, before leading me down to where I remembered the dining hall to be. Everyone was already there, waiting for us. To my surprise, Hanako’s maids had actually managed to find Kisame a yukata that fit. 

“Kourubi-senpai, your hair!” It didn’t surprise me that Sakura noticed first. I reached up to tug at a few strands, before remembering that my hair was too short for that now and settling my hand on my neck instead. 

Sasuke gave me an appraising look before nodding, a satisfied smile on his face. “You look good.” 

“You do,” Iruka agreed. “It’s good that Hanako-sama was able to make it so you can still wear your feathers.” 

“Well, Kou-chan always looks good,” Kakashi said, and it almost sounded like a reminder. 

“Shut up,” I muttered, feeling my cheeks flare red. Though, I had to admit it did make me a feel a little better to hear the compliments. Best to hear the nice words now to cushion the blow of the harsh ones I’d surely hear after returning home. 

Dinner was pleasant, if kind of awkward. Itachi seemed uninterested in participating in conversation and none of my team felt the need to actively engage him. I couldn’t blame them. For all my of my heartfelt words earlier, small talk just seemed impossible. Kisame didn’t seem to have an issue, talking almost enthusiastically with Hanako. She seemed fascinated by him. Which…I couldn’t exactly blame her for that. It wasn’t everyday you met a giant blue shark man. The Land of Flowers was a fair distance away from the Land of Water in any case; she probably didn’t do much business with them. Kisame seemed to just like talking to someone who didn’t have any preconceived notions about him. 

After dinner, Itachi pulled me aside. The others stood by, their posture stiff. I waved them on with a warning look. Itachi was an ally now. Honestly, he had never stopped being an ally. He was in the Akatsuki as a spy…not that anyone knew that other than the Third.

The more I thought about him the more I despised that man. 

“I would like to speak with you,” Itachi informed me. “Privately.” 

I shrugged, attempting to hide my excitement. Talking was good. Talking was progress. “Lead the way.” 

Itachi led me back to his room, Kisame already waiting there. A single brow twitched upwards at the sight of him lounging on the bed. 

“Awful comfortable for being on someone else’s bed,” I observed, a bit miffed that Itachi’s notions of privacy obviously weren’t that private. 

“You think you’re the only one who shares a bed, Karasuno?” Kisame sassed back, flashing me a mouth full of sharp teeth.

Oh…

It honestly hadn’t occurred to me that their relationship might have been of that nature, but I couldn’t say I was surprised. The fact that Kisame was willing to leave the Akatsuki for Itachi spoke volumes about their bond. Respect was part of it, but I doubt Kisame would let just any person hold his leash as tightly as Itachi did without there being more to it than ‘respect.’ 

In the end, I simply turned to Itachi and said, “You could do worse.” 

“Indeed,” Itachi agreed, his lips twitching into a smirk. “I could be dating Hatake Kakashi.” 

I stared at him, blinking owlishly. “Holy shit, was that a joke? You have a sense of humor? Color me shocked.” 

Itachi rolled his eyes, which was probably the most emotion I’d seen from him yet. “I think you did a fine job of that yourself. Now, I didn’t bring you up here to talk about my partnership with Kisame.” He gestured to a chair in front of the large window.

“You’re no fun,” I grumbled, taking a seat. I winced as the back of the chair hit my back. This was going to be annoying. I shifted forward, watching as Itachi took the seat across from me, a somber look on his face. Or maybe that was just his normal face. “What did you actually want to talk about?”

“I did not want to seem like I was taking advantage of the situation,” Itachi began. “But…you did offer to let me probe your mind with my Mangekyo.”

“I did,” I agreed. “I take it my words really weren’t enough to convince you.” 

“Your act of…” He paused, searching for the proper word.

“Stupidity?” Kisame offered. I threw a random pillow from the floor at him. He knocked it away easily. Fucking ninja…

“Earnestness,” Itachi corrected, finally settling on a word. “Your act of earnestness made the words _feel_ true…”

“But what feels true and what is true are often two different things,” I sighed, seeing where this was going. 

Itachi nodded. “Has the offer been rescinded?” 

This…wasn’t the scenario I’d been hoping for. True, there was someone else here, but it was someone who was very much not on my side. Kisame wouldn’t hurt me without Itachi’s permission…but he wouldn’t help me if Itachi decided to hurt me either. The only reason I’d felt comfortable offering such a thing before was because I had my team there to pull me out should things go south. However…if I went back now, that wouldn’t exactly be acting in good faith. And good faith was literally all I had to offer.

“No, it hasn’t,” I said. “But…I’d rather you search for only what you need to prove my sincerity. There’s some stuff up there I’d really rather you not see. And I’m sure Kakashi and Iruka would be unhappy with you seeing it, too.” 

The palest of blushes colored Itachi’s cheeks. “Fair enough.”

I settled back into the chair, shifting in an attempt to get comfortable despite my back. “So, what do I need to do?” 

“Just hold still…”

I watched as Itachi’s Sharingan swirled faster and faster, the pattern changing and then…

 

The first thing I noticed was the distinct lack of pain. I was lying on my back – apparently in the middle of a field – and there was no pain. That was nice. I pushed myself up. I was indeed in the middle of a field. A park, perhaps? It felt familiar. 

“Your mind is lovely.” I turned to see Itachi standing a short distance away, staring into the distance. 

“Thanks?” The hell were you supposed to say to that? 

“Where is this place?” He asked. “Surely you’ve been here in life. The landscape is far too distinct to not be based on a real place.”

He pointed behind me, drawing my attention to the farther reaches of my mindscape. A large hill with a distinct cliff towered over us, hiking trails crisscrossing the almost too-green grass. It…certainly felt like I’d seen this place before, like I’d been here in the past. But I couldn’t be sure. Perhaps it was one of those Before memories that refused to truly fade, burning itself into my mind, even when I couldn’t actually remember it. 

A ruin half way up the hill caught my attention. For whatever reason, that felt like the place to go. The moment I took a step towards it, however, the world shifted around me. In that single step I was standing in the ruins, having traveled who knows how many real life meters. Huh…well that was convenient.

“What is this place?” Itachi asked, coming up behind me.

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “The ruins of something. A tower or a monastery, I’d suppose. I just…felt like this was the place to go.” 

Itachi turned to look at me for the first time, his brows furrowing in confusion. 

“What?”

“You don’t …look like yourself,” Itachi said, his head tilting like a puppy hearing a sound for the first time. “Most people look at least mostly like themselves in their own mind. Some things are bound to be different. Scars are usually bigger than they actually are, or someone might view themselves as thinner or heavier than they are. But you…how are you so different?” 

“What do you mean? I can’t look that different, can I?” Actually…I probably could. Even if I couldn’t remember what I looked like Before, I still saw myself as someone other than Kourubi. It wouldn’t surprise me if I were some strange melding of the two. No wonder Itachi was so confused. 

“Your eyes are the right color, but I’m fairly certain you don’t wear glasses,” Itachi informed me. And just like that I recognized the foreign-yet-familiar weight of glasses on my nose. “Your height, your face shape…it’s all off. How is it that you can look this different?”

There was no way I could tell him the truth. But this was my mind, who knew if I could actually lie here. Redirection was my best bet. “Look, we didn’t come here to talk about my self-image issues. Just…find what you need and get out of my head, alright. This is freaking weird.” 

Itachi seemed displeased by his dodged questions, but he let it go. He knew I was right. He was here for a reason and it wasn’t to pick apart my issues, but to ease his own worries. He turned to the ruined wall, staring through a tall window (or perhaps a door, it was hard to tell). Images flashed by – my memories laid bare to him. 

Much of the memories he poured over were of Sasuke. Of me carrying Sasuke through the Forest of Death, of me holding Sasuke, of my training with Sasuke, of working with Sasuke on the investigation. It seemed more than wanting to know the truth, he was desperate to see how Sasuke had been treated. How I’d changed Sasuke so much. 

“He’s happy.” His voice was quiet, out of shock or relief, I couldn’t tell. 

“I’d like to think so,” I agreed. I flashed Itachi a small smile. “He’d be happier if he had you with him as well. There’s only so much I can do to heal his heart. I think the person who broke it needs to finish fixing it.” 

He refused to meet my eyes. “He was supposed to kill me…to be a hero.”

“Sasuke would never have been a hero walking the path you wanted him to!” I snapped, furious at the reminder at what Sasuke was supposed to be. Of what he would have been without me. “Orochimaru offered him the power to defeat you…but it would have been your manipulation that would have convinced him to abandon the village. He would have been a pariah. And he would have learned the truth eventually, from your _Madara._ ” I spat the name. “And when he did, his goal would have been to destroy the Leaf for how it treated you. For what it made you do.

“You better get on your knees and thank me for saving your brother from that fate because that has been _all_ I’ve been trying to do!”

Itachi stared at me, Sharingan spinning as his mind raced. “Why?” 

This I could be honest about. “Because I didn’t want Naruto to go through the heartache of losing his friend. Because no matter what bullshit Sasuke pulled, Naruto would follow him to the ends of the earth and _my sunshine_ didn’t deserve that. 

“And in the end, I got attached to my little lion. He’s my baby brother, just like Naruto is. I want him to be a good person. Want him to have the opportunity to be better than what fate had planned for him.”

“How could you know what fate had planned for him?” Itachi demanded, stepping towards me. 

“I know lots of things I shouldn’t,” I said cryptically, feeling a little cruel. No one got to know how I was privy to these things. Especially not you, Itachi. Not when people so much closer to me were left in the dark. Sasuke would understand why I looked the way I did in my own mind, but Sasuke was special. The only one I’d ever told my secret, and he only ever knew half of it. You may be an ally, Itachi, but you aren’t a friend. Not yet. But I would make you into one. Kill them with kindness, they said. 

That’s what I was best at. 

“Have you seen enough?” I asked, wanting this to be over. 

Itachi hesitated, but eventually nodded. “And yet I am left with even more questions.” 

“Those answers you have to earn,” I told him. 

“I suppose that’s only fair,” he sighed. 

 

And just like that I was back in the palace, pain throbbing behind my eyes. The light seemed far too bright, despite its dimness. 

“We’re never doing that again,” I decided. “Not if I get a headache every time.”

“Forgive me,” Itachi apologized. “I would be more gentle if I knew how.” 

“That took longer than usual,” Kisame noted, having moved to sit on the edge of the bed instead of lounge in the middle of it. 

“Probably would explain my headache,” I grumbled. 

“You should rest,” Itachi suggested. 

“Not until I know what Kisame has decided,” I told him, shifting my attention to the man on the bed. “Gotta know where I’m dropping you off tomorrow.”

Kisame grinned, though I could tell his heart wasn’t in it. “What if I just stayed here? That queen of yours seems to like me well enough. And besides…I don’t have the reputation here that I do back in the Mist.” 

“Kisame, they just got finished fighting a civil war down there,” I reminded him. “They’re all comrade killers at this point. If anyone is going to understand you, it’s them.” 

His grin fell. “I suppose you’re right.” 

“You will find there are very few instances where I’m wrong,” I teased, standing. “Now, if you excuse me, I think I will go to bed. Good night, both of you.” 

I left Itachi’s room and wandered down the hall, remembering where Hanako had set me up last time. I opened the door to find two very familiar figures sitting on the ottoman at the foot of the bed. Kakashi turned to me first, relief making his tense shoulders relax. Iruka stood the moment he realized I’d entered the room.

“Are you alright?” he asked, striding across the room to take my face in his hands. 

“I’m fine,” I said, hoping to reassure him. “Just a headache. I’m sure a good sleep will deal with that, though.” 

He pressed a kiss to my temple, right where the pain was the worst. He took my hands in his and led me over to the bed, sitting me down on the edge. The next thing I knew, Kakashi was behind me, his hands carefully untangling my feathers from my hair. He passed them to Iruka, who set them down on the bedside table. Another kiss to my cheek, this time from Kakashi. I must have truly scared them if they were being this gentle with me. 

“Love you,” I murmured, feeling myself get sleepy. 

“We love you, too,” Kakashi said for the both of them.

I lay down in the middle of the bed, discovering quite quickly that my back didn’t like the bed anymore than it liked the chair. I turned onto my side, which was better. I saw Iruka frown, knowing I was only sleeping on my side because I could not sleep on my back. He said nothing, however, slipping under the covers with me. I turned some more to use him as a pillow, laying half on my side and half on my stomach. Kakashi’s arm lay across my hips, just out of range of my nerve damage. 

So much had happened today. Too much, if you asked me. I was so tired.

So, so tired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I kind of started shipping Hanako and Kou-chan there for a hot second. 
> 
> Also, Kourubi's mindscape was based on Holyrood Park in Edinburgh, Scotland. Which I had the absolute pleasure of visiting a few summers back, just after graduating college. It might very well by my favorite greenspace of all time. Specifically it was based on the [King Arthur's Seat](https://www.google.com/search?q=holyrood+park&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjd2pGquZ3WAhUFl1QKHYr-CEcQ_AUICygC&biw=1335&bih=746) (which you can see in almost all of the images) and the [St. Anthony's Chapel ruins](https://www.google.com/search?q=st+anthony%27s+chapel+holyrood+park+edinburgh&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwibtYuOup3WAhUpiFQKHUSOAkYQ_AUICygC&biw=1335&bih=746)


	41. In Which the Fog is Thick Around Kiri

I awoke to light streaming into my eyes from the guest room’s overly large windows and the sharp rapping of knuckles on the door. The muffled voice of a maid informed us that breakfast was nearly ready, and if we were hungry, we should make our way down to the dining hall. I groaned, pushing on the soft mattress to force myself into a sitting position. I hated mornings. So much. 

“C’mon,” I grumbled, my voice rough and scratchy in a way it hadn’t been yesterday, even after the screaming. “I know you’re both awake.” There was no way they wouldn’t be; both of them were far better and more attentive shinobi than me. 

“Maa, someone has a frog in her throat,” Kakashi observed, rolling over onto his back. 

I rubbed at my throat like that would fix it. Pain simmered along my spine, not enough to be anything more than uncomfortable for the moment, but I couldn’t be too cautious. For a brief moment, I couldn’t help but feel jealous of Mai’s lack of feeling. That had to be better than constant pain, right?

I chased the thought away immediately after thinking it. Mai’s damage was permanent, and certainly nothing to be jealous over. I was lucky. The damage to my nerves would one day be healed, supposedly. I could handle the pain until then. 

“You probably just need some water,” Iruka assured as he stood from the bed. 

I decided that nodding was probably a better idea than talking at this point. I pulled back my hair like Hanako had done the day before, tucking my feathers into the tiny ponytail it made. Hanako had left _just enough _, and I was grateful for that.__

__We were the last to arrive at the dining hall, the food having already been laid out._ _

__“Good morning,” I greeted, clearing my throat right afterwards. Ryou seemed mildly surprised by the sound of my voice. He got up and walked over, placing a glowing green hand at my throat. If anyone else did something like this, I probably would have felt threatened._ _

__“Does this mean you’re not mad about yesterday anymore?” I joked, my voice already sounding better._ _

__“Oh, I’m still **livid** ,” Ryou hissed. “You were stupid, but we were also stupid for letting you be stupid. Everyone was stupid. This mission is stupid. But you’re the leader, which means you have to explain to whoever the fuck is taking Sharky McPointyteeth why we’re there in the first place. And you can’t do that with fucked up vocal cords.” _ _

__“Glad to know you’ve always got the mission in mind,” I muttered. I turned my gaze on Kisame, who seemed very interested in his food all of a sudden. “What have you decided, Kisame?”_ _

__He was silent for a long moment, possibly weighing some last minute pros and cons. Somehow, his face was harder to read than Kakashi’s. Though, to be fair, it was far easier to read a dog’s face than a shark’s, so I really shouldn’t have been surprised._ _

__“I’ll go back,” he said eventually. “Can’t make a place better if you don’t try, yeah?”_ _

__I didn’t bother holding back my grin. “Damn right.”_ _

__Sakura perked up. “We have contacts in Kiri! We could send them a message. That way, they won’t think we’re showing up for a fight.”_ _

__Contacts? What contacts could they possibly have in Kiri? “Don’t tell me you know the new Mizukage.”_ _

__“Of course not,” Sakura laughed. “Hasn’t Sasuke told you the story?”_ _

__“Sasuke doesn’t tell me jack shit,” I said plainly._ _

__“Surely Naruto told you about it,” Kakashi insisted. “He never misses a chance to tell that story.”_ _

__Iruka nodded, a fond smile on his face. “He’s told me at least three times.”_ _

__“Naruto and I were a bit busy in the three months he lived with me,” I reminded them. “So, no, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Quit beating around the bush and just tell me!”_ _

__“Well, you see,” Sakura began, “it all started when we were supposed to escort a bridge builder named Tazuna back to his home in the Land of Waves.”_ _

__Oh._ _

__Wait. WHAT?! Are they actually telling me that Zabuza and Haku are alive? How? Did…did I do that? There was no way I had anything to do with it directly. But…did my interference with the story have some kind of ripple effect? No. That’s ridiculous. What I did couldn’t affect the past._ _

__“…and then Zabuza found out that Gato wasn’t going to pay him, so he abandoned the mission,” Sakura continued. “He showed up on the bridge to confront Gato, and the villagers promised him as much of Gato’s fortune as he could carry if he took care of Gato and his goons. So Zabuza did. Haku’s been keeping us informed with letters ever since.”_ _

__This…was a lot to process. They didn’t bother explaining how Zabuza came to realize Gato wasn’t going to pay him. Probably hadn’t been hard, though. Gato had no real understanding of shinobi and their skills. He probably said something right outside Zabuza’s door. And it honestly didn’t surprise me that Haku would keep up correspondence with Team 7. He was fond of Naruto, and if he was anything like me, that fondness would have spread to Sakura and Sasuke as well._ _

__“They’re the reason we know that the rebellion was successful,” Kakashi added. “Haku is very forthcoming in his letters.”_ _

__“I see…” There wasn’t anything I could really say to that. My eyes found Sasuke’s. “Send Tsutsugi ahead with a message. Tell him we’re bringing them an ally in their rebuilding efforts. Make it vague.”_ _

__“Is that a good idea?” Ryou asked, his hand pulling away from my throat._ _

__“We don’t know if the Akatsuki are aware that Itachi and Kisame have flown the coop already,” I reasoned. “If anyone were to intercept the message, we can’t make it too obvious who we’re bringing to Kiri.”_ _

__“Is it safe to send Tsutsugi, then?” Sasuke asked._ _

__“A messenger hawk would be faster,” Noboru-sensei offered, “and less conspicuous.”_ _

__I nodded. “Fair point; let’s do that instead. Suzukaze-san, where do you keep your messenger hawks?”_ _

__“I can show you,” he offered, already standing from the table._ _

__“Sasuke, go with him. Get that message out as soon as possible. I’d like the hawk to get to Kiri before we do.”_ _

__“Maa,” Kakashi drawled, watching as Sasuke hurried off after Suzukaze, “someone’s taking to leadership well.”_ _

__“It helps when people are actually willing to listen to me,” I muttered without thinking. Kakashi’s posture stiffened and I winced at my own stupidity. “Sorry…I just…”_ _

__“You have every right to be angry,” Kakashi assured._ _

__“Doesn’t mean I’m allowed to be hurtful.”_ _

__A hand settled on my hip, gentle and comforting. I turned to see Iruka smiling down at me. “We can only get better.”_ _

__

__The hawk sent, breakfast eaten, and redressed in our freshly clean clothes, my team gathered in front of the palace. Shinonome waited patiently with Tsutsugi, Mori, and Gan, the three partner birds positively dwarfed by his size. Hanako had seen us out, Suzukaze and Motohiro by her side._ _

__“I had hoped that your visit would be a little longer,” Hanako admitted._ _

__“Sorry, your Majesty, but the mission takes priority,” I apologized, giving Sakura a leg up so she could climb aboard Shinonome. “Next time.”_ _

__“Yes,” she agreed, smiling brightly. “I’ve heard good things about your furisode from the others. You’ll have to wear it to my wedding.”_ _

__“She’ll steal your groom right out from under your nose if she does,” Kakashi warned in jest._ _

__Hanako’s eyes glinted dangerously in the late-morning sunshine. “She can try.”_ _

__“No need for concern, your majesty, I have no interest in your pretty ninja boyfriend,” I assured her, my tone light and playful. “I’ve already got my own, you see, and they’re a handful enough as is.”_ _

__“Are you sure you’re not the handful, Kourubi-san?” Suzukaze asked, smiling behind his mask._ _

__“A bigger one than many of my students,” Iruka agreed with a laugh._ _

__I turned to him, gasping in mock offense. “I beg your pardon! There is no way I’m a bigger handful than Konohamaru!”_ _

__“Hmmm, no, you’re right. Not more of a handful than him,” Iruka granted. “But a close second.”_ _

__“Say what you will, but remember: you can’t prove that I had anything to do with any bird poop you find on your things.”_ _

__“I think you just proved Iruka’s point,” Ryou shouted from his position on Shinonome’s back._ _

__Sure, he laughed when I flipped him off, but it made me feel better regardless._ _

__

__Kiri was a good distance farther from the Land of Flowers than Konoha was. I couldn’t tell you exactly how much farther since geography was never really my strong suit, but since it took us about twice as long to get to Kiri from Hanako’s place than it took to get to Hanako’s place from Konoha, I’d guess it’s at least twice as far. Shinonome flew through the night, none of us really getting any sleep. I couldn’t think of any one who would be comfortable sleeping while flying on the back of a bird._ _

__The air around Kiri was, unsurprisingly, dense with mist, making the air much colder than it already felt. Konoha rarely got mist or fog, but when it did, it was usually restricted to the early morning hours before the sun got high enough. Despite the late afternoon hour, the fog still lay heavy over the village._ _

__“Where the hell is the gate?” Ryou muttered, leaning over the side to stare down into the low clouds._ _

__“No idea, but please do your best not to fall off the bird,” I groaned. Being awake for over twenty-four hours was not fun. The only ones who seemed relatively unbothered by it were Kakashi and Noboru-sensei. Stupid jonin with their stupid training._ _

__“There,” Kisame spoke suddenly, pointing just ahead. “There’s the gate. I can see it.”_ _

__Peering through the mist, I too could just barely make out a large tori gate just ahead. I reached down to pat at Shinonome-sama’s neck. “Go ahead and land here. We’ll walk to the gate. Probably freak them out less.”_ _

__“As you say, Kourubi-dono,” Shinonome agreed, beating his wings fast as he made his descent, blowing away some of the mist as he did._ _

__We landed just in front of the gate, startling the two generic Kiri ninja that had been standing guard. They must have been recently promoted to chunin; they looked far too young to be all that experienced. Not to mention their undisciplined shrieks of terror as Shinonome touched down._ _

__“Ha, I think that just made this whole trip worth it,” Kisame barked._ _

__I slid down from Shinonome’s back, landing on shaky feet. It was nice to be on solid ground once again. I marched right up to the guards, throwing my shoulders back in some facsimile of confidence._ _

__“My name is Karasuno Kourubi,” I informed them. “I am here to meet with the Mizukage. We sent word ahead, so she should be expecting us.”_ _

__They looked at each other, neither of them really knowing what to do. Their inexperience was showing. Kiri desperately needed more shinobi. They’d welcome Kisame with open arms at this point._ _

__“F-follow me, I guess?” Good lord, he even sounded young. The Kiri shinobi turned and lead us through the gate and into the village proper, but not before I turned at released Shinonome from his duties. He disappeared in a giant cloud of smoke, leaving only the tracks he dug in the dirt with his feet behind._ _

__The village was, as the cliché went, quiet…too quiet. The few civilians that mingled about stopped talking and stared as we passed by. Not that I could blame them. I’d stare if a giant parade of foreign shinobi came waltzing through my village, too. I could see where rebuilding was already underway, and where it still needed to begin. There were no bodies, but half-cleaned blood stains littered the sides of buildings. It was eerie._ _

__The Kiri ninja led us up a set of stairs, stopping us right outside the door to what appeared to be the largest building in the area. Or…at least the tallest building we’d seen yet._ _

__“Stay here,” he said, pointing down at the ground to make his point. He then slipped through the door, closing it behind him._ _

__“Did he actually just leave a small army of enemy shinobi unattended in the middle of his village?” Noboru asked incredulously._ _

__“Not that there’s much we could do that they haven’t already done themselves,” I reasoned._ _

__The young Kiri ninja came back a few minutes later, an almost awed look on his face, like whatever the Mizukage had said about us had changed how he perceived us. I wondered what she said._ _

__“Follow me,” he said, holding the door open for us._ _

__He led us into the building, pass a few closed doors and into a large chamber. It appeared to be something like a banquet hall, complete with an almost obnoxiously long table made of pale wood. At the far end was a gorgeous woman with long red hair, the Mizukage hat sitting on the table in front of her._ _

__Terumi Mei, the fifth Mizukage._ _

__“Welcome,” she greeted blithely, a disarming smile on her face. “You must be Karasuno Kourubi and company. We’ve been expecting you. Come. Sit. It seems we have much to discuss.”_ _

__I moved forward with as much confidence as I could. Facing Tsunade was one thing. Going up against Mei was totally different. Tsunade could be trusted. I didn’t know if Mei could be just yet._ _

__“Haku-kun has informed me that you have a present for me,” Mei said, her voice more polite than I’d expected. I knew very little about Mei, save her title of Mizukage and her two kekkei-genkai._ _

__Still, I’d been up for over twenty-four hours and I was not in the mood to play around. “Mizukage-sama, I very much doubt that you haven’t noticed that Hoshigake Kisame came into the room with us.”_ _

__Mei’s smile fell into a pout. “Well, someone’s no fun at all. Yes, I see him. It’s good to see you Kisame.”_ _

__Kisame stepped forward, sharky grin plastered on his face. “Is it, though?”_ _

__“Considering everything we’ve been through during this awful civil war, yes,” Mei admitted. “It is very good to see you. Our little friend here couldn’t have brought you home at a better time.”_ _

__“You sure you really want me around?” Kisame asked, forced bravado obvious in his voice. “You all had a civil war to justify your comrade killing. I didn’t.”_ _

__“No,” Mei agreed, “but that doesn’t mean your situation wasn’t also dire. You were misled and lied to, Kisame. In any other circumstances, I don’t think you would have hurt a single man under your command. You’re a good man, Kisame, when given the opportunity.”_ _

__Tension seemed to melt from Kisame’s shoulders. I smiled, turning my face towards the floor in an attempt to hide it. Really, why was he so surprised? Most people were far more understanding than he gave them credit for, especially since they knew how awful Kiri had been. It was number one in missing nin for a reason._ _

__“I can’t go back to the Cypher Corps,” Kisame insisted, just like he did when he first turned from the Akatsuki._ _

__“Of course,” Mei acquiesced. “Actually, I have an idea. How do you feel about being our academy director?”_ _

__Kisame gaped at her, and I couldn’t blame him for being shocked. Not a heck of a lot of people would expect Mei to offer that kind of position to a former missing nin. I looked over my shoulder to my team, most of them wearing a similarly surprised expression. Itachi, though, seemed almost pleased at this development._ _

__“You don’t want to deal with liars, right?” Mei pressed. “Then help me create a more truthful curriculum for the students. One that doesn’t shy away from our past. They need to see our shadows to understand that we’ve turned towards the sun. And besides…I know you would defend our little ones with your life.”_ _

__Kisame turned away from Mei’s smile, a frown on his face. “I’ll think about it.”_ _

__Mei smiled even brighter. “Excellent. Now! Since our business is done, I think it’s time for a celebration. My other guests were promised a feast and it’d be rude of me not extend the same invitation to our new friends from Konoha.”_ _

__One of my eyebrows twitched up in surprise. “Other guests?”_ _

__“Yes,” Mei said. “I like to keep them separate for business purposes, but since business is done, I see no reason to keep you from each other.” She turned towards a large door behind her. “Haku! Let them in.”_ _

__I looked to the door as it swung open, revealing first Haku, and then a small crowd of other people. My eyes caught blonde hair reflecting the light of the room –_ _

__The words barely made a sound as they left me along with all of my breath. “Sunshine?”_ _

__“Nee-chan!” A blonde and orange cannonball bolted across the room and into my open arms, nearly bowling me over._ _

__Tears welled up in my eyes as I buried my face in Naruto’s hair, smelling citrus and summer breezes. He was so warm, like the sun itself. His arms wrapped around me, stronger than they had been the last time I’d held him, longer too. He was taller, not quite as tall as Sasuke, but getting there._ _

__I’d missed him so much._ _

__“Naruto!” Sasuke and Sakura came running up behind me, startling us both. Naruto grinned brightly at his teammates, falling into a group hug easily. Even Sasuke was grinning like a man who’d just learned what happiness really felt like. I pressed my hands to my chest, feeling my heart thumping under my skin, unsure of what else to do._ _

__Kakashi walked up to the three, reaching out to ruffle Naruto’s hair. “It’s good to see you, Naruto.”_ _

__“You too, Kakashi-sensei,” Naruto said in return. “It’s good to see all of you!”_ _

__“What are you doing here?” Iruka asked, coming up for his own hug._ _

__“We were just here to open diplomatic relations with the new Mizukage.” I turned to see Jiraiya striding into the room, a slight smirk tugging at his lips._ _

__“I don’t believe for a second that you have the authority to do that,” I told him plainly. “You’ve probably just come to peep in the bathhouses now that the village is open to foreigners again.”_ _

__“Now now, Kou-chan,” Kakashi said placating, “I’m sure Jiraiya-sama isn’t the kind to peep in bathhouses, no matter how you feel about his writing.”_ _

__I gave Kakashi a look that clearly told him I was not impressed and said, “Naruto, what was Jiraiya doing when you first met him?”_ _

__Naruto looked over from where he was hugging Iruka. “Huh? Peeping on the woman’s bath, why?”_ _

__I made a ‘see?’ gesture with my hand. “Case and point.”_ _

__Kakashi deflated a little. “Well…can’t say I’m not disappointed.”_ _

__“Don’t know why you’re surprised,” I grumbled. “He blatantly calls himself a super pervert. Someone like that couldn’t possibly respect a woman’s bodily autonomy nor her right to privacy.”_ _

__Jiraiya eyed me warily. “You don’t like me, do you?”_ _

__I turned him, glaring at him as coldly as I possibly could. “Not in the slightest.”_ _

__“You’re not alone in that.” Looking past Jiraiya at the sound of a familiar voice, I saw Temari walk forward, accompanied by a slightly younger woman with long brown hair._ _

__“Hey, Temari! Long time no see,” I greeted cheerfully…or about as cheerfully as I could with being so exhausted. “How are you and your brothers?”_ _

__“Well enough,” she replied with a shrug. “I’m here on official business for the Kazekage. Trying to open up trade and the like.”_ _

__“Sounds like fun,” I snarked._ _

__“Oh, so much,” Temari agreed with a roll of her eyes. She noticed her companion’s confused expression. “Ah, right. Karasuno, this is Utano Aiko, my bodyguard.”_ _

__“You need a bodyguard?” I joked._ _

__“No,” Temari replied plainly. “But the council insisted.”_ _

__I laughed, loud and sharp and bitter. “I know a thing or two about insistent councils.” I turned my attention to Aiko. “It’s nice to meet you.”_ _

__She stared at me, somewhat wide-eyed. “You’re Karasuno Kourubi?”_ _

__Again, a single brow twitched up. “Yes?”_ _

__She shook her head, face slightly pink and pigtails flying. “Sorry, I just…I was expecting…”_ _

__“Someone a bit grander?” I offered in jest._ _

__“Well, to be quite honest I don’t know what I was expecting,” she admitted. “The Kazekage speaks very highly of you and that Naruto boy over there.”_ _

__“Does he?” I’d expected Gaara to speak highly of Naruto; he always had in the canon. But…I didn’t really do anything, did I? Surely some hugs weren’t enough for him to talk about me like he did about Naruto._ _

__She nodded, her expression somewhere between ‘I don’t quite get it myself’ and ‘it’s adorable and I love it’. “Oh yes. He talks about the two of you quite often. Claims he wouldn’t be where he is today without you.”_ _

__“Without Naruto, certainly,” I agreed. “I didn’t really do much.”_ _

__“Karasuno,” Temari’s stern voice startled me. Her eyes were sharp, boring right through me. I’d forgotten how intimidating she could be. “You were the first person to give my brother a hug in his life. That means something. Hell, it means more than something. It means the world. To all of us. Naruto may have knocked some sense into him…into all of us, but you were the one to prove his point.”_ _

__“Oh…” I floundered to find the right words to say as a heavy warmth settled in my chest._ _

__“So…thank you. I mean it.”_ _

__I didn’t bother to try and stop my smile. “Any time.”_ _

__The sound of two sharp handclaps caught our attention. We turned to Mei, who was standing by the long table still, Haku at her side._ _

__“I do hate to interrupt, but I’ve been informed that the food is ready. If you’ll all follow me.”_ _

__Mei turned and led us through the doors that had hidden Naruto and the others earlier. We trailed after her, deeper and deeper into the Mizukage’s complex. I had honestly expected the meal to be served at the long table in the room before, but I suppose that was more of a conference table than a dinner table._ _

__The walls were painted in cool shades of grey and blue, like the ocean reflecting the cloudy sky above it. There was very little natural light in the hallways, not because they lacked windows, but because the sun simply couldn’t penetrate the fog. It felt dreary compared to the Hokage Tower in Konoha. It made me feel even sleepier._ _

__I walked close to Naruto, who babbled on about his travels with Jiraiya – about the places he’d seen and the people he’d met. I noticed that he hadn’t mentioned anything about what he’d learned, though, which was starting to irritate me. The only reason someone like Naruto wasn’t gushing about what he’d learned was because he wasn’t being taught anything. I glared at the back of Jiraiya’s head as he walked ahead of me, attempting to schmooze with Mei. He took Naruto with him to keep him ‘safe’ and to train him. What kind of training was it if Naruto wasn’t learning anything?_ _

__Mei threw open a set of doors, leading us into what was obviously a formal dining hall for the Mizukage and their guests. Zabuza was there waiting for us, arms crossed over his chest but his iconic sword no where in sight. His eyes widened slightly when he caught sight of Kakashi, who had been standing at my other side. He strode right past Mei and Kisame, his focus only on Kakashi. I suppose I shouldn’t expect much else from a shounen rivalry._ _

__“Hatake,” Zabuza’s voice was a strange blend of a growl and a purr, and not what I’d expected at all. Out of instinct, I stepped forward and placed myself in front of Kakashi, partially shielding him. My hand drifted toward the grip of my katana._ _

__Zabuza’s gaze flickered to me, a question forming in his eyes. “Now who’s this, Hatake? Your little girlfriend?” I could see his predatory grin behind the bandages that covered the lower half of his face, and I braced myself for what would come next. “She looks like she’d be pretty on her knees.”_ _

__I could hear Iruka sputtering indignantly from Naruto’s other side, along with Naruto and Sasuke’s own protests. Kakashi stiffened behind me. I, for my part, couldn’t quite tell if that was supposed to be sexual or threatening. With shinobi it could really go either way. Well, two could play at that game._ _

__I smiled at him, my lips sweet honey and my eyes bitter steel. “And you would look far more appealing between my thighs…as I strangle you with them.”_ _

__Zabuza looked taken aback, as if he wasn’t used to someone actually attempting to match him in these little power games. Mei chortled behind him, hiding her grin behind a deceptively delicate hand._ _

__His eyes practically sparkled with the challenge of it as he turned his gaze to Kakashi. “Well, at least your taste in women is better than your taste in students.”_ _

__“If you admire her so much, then you probably shouldn’t be insulting my students in front of her,” Kakashi warned, his tone friendly despite the aggressiveness just barely hidden in his stance. “She doesn’t take kindly to people speaking poorly of her nestlings.”_ _

__My heart fluttered at the sound of Kakashi using Shinonome’s term for the little ones, as if he’d known I’d been planning on adopting it. Certainly fit better than ‘ducklings’ considering I definitely didn’t summon ducks. My eyes didn’t leave Zabuza though, meeting his gaze with every ounce of intimidation I could muster._ _

__“Now, cut that out,” Mei’s sharp reprimand cut through the air. “These people are here as our guests, Momochi. I expect them to be treated as such, especially since they brought Kisame home.”_ _

__Zabuza turned to Mei, his eyes catching Kisame’s. “So they did. Welcome back, Hoshigaki. You actually going to stick around this time?”_ _

__“You’re one to talk,” Kisame replied with a sardonic grin._ _

__“Boys, now is not the time,” Mei scolded. “We have guests. You can have your little spat after they leave.”_ _

__Somewhere behind me, closer than expected, Haku chuckled. I jumped a bit, startled by the noise, and whirled on him. He smiled, and I was surprised to find that he actually did look happy, unlike all of his smiles from the anime, which had always been so sad._ _

__“It’s been a while since I’ve seen Zabuza-sama so excited,” he said breezily. “You are Kourubi-san, correct? Naruto-kun has told me much about you.”_ _

__“Has he now?” I glanced at Naruto, who blushed a little and scratched the back of his head._ _

__“Oh yes,” Haku asserted, his tone casual but I could tell this was going somewhere and I wasn’t sure I was going to like it. “Specifically about your magic music.”_ _

__“I wouldn’t call it magic,” I corrected._ _

__“What else would you call creating new melodies that no one has ever heard out of thin air?” Haku queried._ _

__“The same thing you’d call summoning ice from out of thin air,” I said briskly. “A jutsu.”_ _

__“Can this jutsu be taught?”_ _

__My eyes narrowed dangerously. “Not to you.” This was not the Haku I was expecting. But then again, the Haku I knew was of very different circumstances, and died much younger. This one was in a new, more comfortable position, one where he could actually have a degree of fun. This was the Haku that gave Naruto a long ass lecture about ‘precious people’ before actually correcting Naruto’s misinformed assumptions about his gender. This was a Haku that played._ _

__“But perhaps you could give us a demonstration?” Haku said, a little louder to catch Mei’s attention. “All meals are better with some entertainment.”_ _

__“Ah! Are we talking about Karasuno-san’s special jutsu?” Mei chimed in, striding over excitedly. “Naruto-kun has told us so much about it. You must show us how it works.”_ _

__“Now that you mention it, I’ve never seen it,” Jiraiya mused, an unpleasant twinkle in his eye._ _

__“Neither have we,” Itachi added, a hint of curiosity in his frown._ _

__Goddammit._ _

__“You want a song? Fine! Sit your asses down and prepare for a damn show,” I snapped. I was too damn tired for this, dammit. “Ryou, let me borrow your staff.”_ _

__Ryou was piecing it together before I even finished asking. “Sure, but what do you need it for?”_ _

__I grinned at him as I snatched it from his hand gave it a twirl. “Showmanship.”_ _

__The table was a large, rectangular thing. It left much to be desired in terms of everyone being able to see without scooting their chairs around into awkward angles, but that didn’t matter to me none. I wasn’t the one watching the show; I was giving it. It felt like that first time at Hanako’s all over again. Well…I had chakra to spare, might as well make this fun._ _

__I pushed my chakra into Ryou’s staff, performing a transformation jutsu on it, turning it into a microphone. I snapped my fingers and sound filled the air._ _

___“Somewhere above the sky, you didn’t listen at all did you?_  
You purposely overlook the sign given to you.  
See, we always understand each other perfectly…what a huge misunderstanding.  
You don’t even notice me standing right here, do you?” 

__The chorus hit and my ‘bandmates’ appeared in an explosion of smoke as the music erupted from my body, and I could see my audience’s jaws drop. Shadow clones disguised as my cousins ‘played’ along with the melody as I bounced to the beat that hammered in my chest._ _

___“Hey!! Hey!! Answer me! Is there anybody there?_  
No matter how much I search, there’s no answer.  
Hey!! Hey!! Only I will make myself, so  
Even if I cry, even if I smile, even if I hate, I’ll live my life with love.” 

__Naruto cheered loudly as the others looked on with awe. I’d never done anything this dramatic with my Melody. The Kakashi clone had been as far as I’d ever gone. Perhaps it was the frustration of the last few days coming out in one moment. I couldn’t control my team, couldn’t get them to understand me when I spoke with words, and that was probably my fault. I told them so little, could only tell them so little. But perhaps I could get them to understand my feelings here. My frustration, my determination, my hope, my loneliness. I wanted them to understand all of it, even if I couldn’t explain it properly without a song’s metaphors._ _

__God, I was pathetic._ _

___“Hey!! Hey!! You can't live alone, can you?_  
If you throw away even your heart, you'll never fit in.  
Hey!! Hey!! You don't need a reason to give up  
Because even you can stand firm and live in this town. 

___“Hey!! Hey!! Answer me. Is there anybody there?_  
No matter how much I search, there's no answer back.  
Hey!! Hey!! Only I will make myself, so  
Even if I cry, even if I smile, even if I hate, I'll live my life with love.  
Hey! Hey! Samurai Heart!” 

__At the final beat, my clones vanished the same way they appeared, leaving me alone with Ryou’s staff in my hand. It had transformed back in the same moment my shadow clones had disappeared. I stared my audience down, panting slightly from the burst of physical activity._ _

__“Are you not entertained?” I challenged, twirling the staff in my hand as I brought it up to rest on my shoulder._ _

__“That was amazing, nee-chan!” Naruto shouted, bouncing up and down in his seat. “You can do the jutsu without hand signs now!”_ _

__“Maa, if you think that’s cool, maybe we could spar tomorrow,” I suggested. “Then I can show you what else I can do. And you can show me everything you’ve learned so far.”_ _

__I was baiting him, which wasn’t fair of me. He’d said back during the chunin exams that he wanted to fight me. Back then I’d felt like I couldn’t do that, and that still held true. I couldn’t fight him for real, but a spar was different. And the point of it wasn’t the spar, it was to expose Jiraiya for the failure of a teacher that he was._ _

__Naruto seemed to hesitate, but Sasuke latched onto the idea and ran with it. “Yeah, let’s do it! Team Seven verses Team Three! We’ll show you what we’ve all learned.”_ _

__Sakura clapped excitedly. “Yes! Let’s do it! Tomorrow after breakfast.”_ _

__“Y-yeah!” Naruto tried his best to sound enthusiastic, and for his part he pulled it off pretty well._ _

__“We have a small training field that you can use,” Mei offered. “I’ll show you in the morning. If you’ll let me stay and watch, of course. It’s been a while since I’ve seen a Konoha shinobi fight.”_ _

__“Everyone can watch,” I said breezily as I came to sit at the table. “More motivation for everyone to give it their all, yeah?”_ _

__“Probably better if everyone did,” Iruka chimed in. “To make sure no one does anything…unadvised.”_ _

__“Everything stupid I’ve ever done has been in front of an audience,” I reminded him. “Your presence won’t stop me.”_ _

__“I have a feeling there’s a story behind that,” Jiraiya muttered around a mouthful of noodles._ _

__“When is there ever not a story?” Noboru sighed._ _

__I felt eyes on me and turned to see Aiko staring at me with shining eyes. “Aiko-san?”_ _

__“How did you do it?” She asked, her voice breathless with her excited curiosity. “Such complex sounds layered on top of each other, melding together into a perfect melody! I’ve never heard anything like it! How could you do it with a jutsu?”_ _

__“It’s nothing complicated,” I explained. “The jutsu simply places a layer of chakra around my skin and uses it to vibrate the air and cause sound waves.”_ _

__“But the amount of control you’d have to have to make your chakra create all those different sounds…” Aiko trailed off, unable to completely explain just how complicated what I did would be for literally anyone else._ _

__“It’s just my thing,” I said by way of explanation. “I don’t fully understand it myself.”_ _

__Jiraiya’s eyes narrowed at that. “Nothing is more dangerous than a shinobi that doesn’t understand their own jutsu.”_ _

__I glared at him, setting my knife down before I threw it at his presumptuous face. “You and I both know there are things far more dangerous than that.”_ _

__“No fighting at the dinner table,” Mei chided like a put out matriarch of a middle class family._ _

__I kept my mouth shut around a sassy retort on the tip of my tongue, filling my plate up with all manner of delicious looking food. Jiraiya kept his eyes on me for a while as I purposefully ignored him, speaking casually with pretty much everyone except him._ _

__At the end of the meal, Temari and Aiko stood from the table. “Well, this has been fun and all, but we really much be going. We’ve got the last boat out to the mainland tonight.”_ _

__“A shame I can’t tempt you to stay longer,” Mei mused, resting her chin in her hand. “But I suppose we’ll have to save social visits for after the Kazekage approves of the trade agreement. Have a safe trip, Temari-san, Aiko-chan.”_ _

__Temari gave a quick, polite bow before turning to leave. Aiko followed dutifully behind her, giving me a view of the shamisen she carried on her back. I wondered briefly what she used it for before my attention was pulled back to the others at the table._ _

__

__I settled down gently onto the futon, lying back on my back. It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t unbearable. I lay there for a moment, staring up at the ceiling before deciding that nope, this was definitely not comfortable, and turned onto my side. I didn’t generally like sleeping on my side, but until my back was healed, it was what I was going to have to deal with._ _

__Iruka wandered in from the bathroom, toweling his hair dry as he eyed me worriedly. “I guess I can’t expect you to be better after only a few days.”_ _

__“Yeah, well I guess I needed to relearn that actions have consequences,” I grumbled._ _

__Iruka sat on his own futon, having pushed it up against mine, which in turn had been pushed up against Kakashi’s. He watched me, a frown on his face. “Something’s been bothering me…”_ _

__“What’s that?”_ _

__“How did you know all that about the Sharingan?” he asked. “The Uchiha were never very forward with information about their kekkei-genkai.”_ _

__“I’ve been wondering that, too.” Kakashi said from the other side of the room where he’d settled himself into the windowsill._ _

__Shit, time to come up with a reasonable lie that they can’t look into. “You’re both aware of the First Hokage’s obsession with the Uchiha, yeah?”_ _

__Iruka looked like he wanted to protest my wording, but nodded anyway._ _

__“When Sasuke and I first started working in the archive, I wandered around the stacks trying to figure out how they were organized. I ended up pulling out quite a few documents while I was at it…including a scroll written by the First Hokage about the Uchiha and the Sharingan. I didn’t read the whole thing, but I remember what I saw. The Mangekyo is a scary thing.”_ _

__The lie came out much smoother than I’d expected. The two of them didn’t have access to the archive, so there was no way they could verify if what I said was true or not. And I specifically left Sasuke out of the story for the most part, so it wasn’t like they could ask him about it. Not exactly airtight, but it was enough that hopefully they would believe me._ _

__And Tsunade thought I was a crap liar. Ha! If only she knew._ _

__“I’m sure the Uchiha would be very upset knowing there’s scrolls just sitting in the archive about their kekkei-genkai,” Kakashi mused._ _

__“Not like they’re much use anymore,” I reasoned. “Considering there’s only three, maybe four Sharingan users left.”_ _

__That maybe four scared Kakashi, I could tell. The idea that someone else was running around with what very well could be Obito’s other eye was a terrifying idea to anyone, but especially to Kakashi. I knew better, but I’d already said way too much already._ _

__“The amount of power that the Sharingan gives someone is ridiculous,” I whined. “Even if someone did have all that knowledge, it’s not like it would help them anyway. There’s no known way to defeat the Sharingan…except maybe to go straight for the eyes but someone with a Sharingan would be able to see that coming from a mile away!”_ _

__Kakashi laughed, standing from the windowsill and making his way over. “Sounds like someone’s bitter.”_ _

__“The Sharingan is bullshit,” I reiterated, and yes, I was well aware that I was pouting._ _

__“Well, you’ll get plenty of practice dealing with that ‘bullshit’ tomorrow when you spar Sasuke,” Iruka teased._ _

__“Don’t remind me,” I sighed. “I had not planned on Sasuke jumping in like that, but it’s been a while since the two of us have sparred, I guess he got excited.”_ _

__“You’ll be fine,” Kakashi assured, slipping onto his futon behind me. “You’ll show him exactly why Tsunade-sama made you a jonin.”_ _

__That would probably make me feel much better if I knew why Tsunade promoted me._ _

__

__The next morning, after breakfast, Mei led us down into the small garden that surrounded the Mizukage’s complex. A large koi pond took up the vast majority of the grounds. I shouldn’t have been surprised at the lack of flowering plants, given the lack of sunlight the village received. Over a bridge, just out of sight from the main building, was a small gymnasium like structure._ _

__“This is your training ground?” Ryou asked. Konoha didn’t have a whole lot of indoors training grounds, if any at all._ _

__“It’s easier to see your sparring partner when you can keep out the mist,” Haku explained. “Mei-sama thought this might be more comfortable for you to use than our outdoor facilities.”_ _

__“How kind of her,” Mai said under her breath, her eyes scanning the building proper._ _

__A sandy ‘ring’ sat in the middle of the building, wooden benches lining the far wall for any spectators. The building was brightly lit, far different from the hallways of the day before. Our audience made their way to the benches as my teammates and I settled ourselves across the ring from Naruto and the others. They were already whispering to each other, glancing up at us every so often._ _

__“Looks like they’re making a plan,” Mai drawled, slipping on her gauntlets. “Do we need one?”_ _

__“Naruto’s plans are always the same,” I said, hand drifting towards the grip of my tanto. “Make a giant army of shadow clones to keep us busy until he readies a Rasengan.”_ _

__“And the other two?” Ryou asked, twirling his staff lazily._ _

__“They’ll probably do the same,” I reasoned. “Wait for us to be distracted by the clones before charging in with their own strikes. You handle them, I’ll handle Naruto.”_ _

__“Straight to the point, huh?” Mai grinned. “I like it.”_ _

__Iruka stood from the bench, apparently acting as our referee. “When ever you’re ready.”_ _

__Naruto and the others broke form their little powwow, facing us with excited grins. “Ready!”_ _

__“Ready!” Mai replied for us._ _

__Iruka raised his hand. “You may – ” he brought his hand down in a sharp motion – “begin!”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featured Song:
> 
>  
> 
> [ Samurai Heart (Some Like It Hot) by Spyair](http://melodyfromanotherworld.tumblr.com/post/164993947413/justanimemusicgintama-ed-17-samurai-heart)  
> [Translated Lyrics Here](http://www.animelyrics.com/anime/gintama/samuraiheart.htm)


	42. In Which Jiraiya is None-Too-Pleased with Me

The first thing that happened was Naruto threw up the hand sign to summon his shadow clones.

The second thing that happened was I yelled, “Mai! Wall!” 

And then hell broke loose.

Mai flew through the hand signs for an Earth Style Wall, her gauntlets seeming to have little affect on the speed of their execution. A wall of pale stone shot up from the sandy floor, not quite tall enough to reach the ceiling, but taller than any of us, and that was enough. 

It didn’t last long, however. It took Sakura two punches to knock a hole in the wall, allowing Naruto’s clones to come pouring through the gap. Mai dove for Sakura, but Ryou got to her first. He struck her across the chest with his staff. It wasn’t enough to throw her back like Mai’s blow would have been, but it did stop her. Instead, Mai turned her attention towards a suddenly appeared Sasuke, clamping her hand down on his own to stop him from drawing his katana. 

And then she punched him in the face. Because that’s what Mai does.

Which left me to face the hordes of shadow clones. I drew my katana and began carving my way through, my speed an advantage I wasn’t about to waste. The clones exploded into smoke behind me, unable to withstand my blade. 

I spotted Naruto in the back with another clone, Rasengan forming in his hand. It wasn’t quite ready yet, but he saw me charging him and probably figured it would have to do. He charged at me, half-formed Rasengan thrust forward. I threw out my own hand to meet it, Requiem thrumming just above my skin. I added a spark of lightning for a little bit more protection against the churning wind of Naruto’s Rasengan. 

When our techniques clashed, we both had to dig our heels in to keep from being blown back by the force of it. I watched Naruto’s eyes widen as the vibrations of my Requiem disrupted the rotation of his Rasengan, making it wobble and shake. I pushed a little more with the lightning, stabbing into the orb relentlessly. 

It exploded into a violent gust and vanished.  
I cut off the Requiem and caught Naruto’s hand as he fell. I dropped my katana and shoved my arm into his throat, shoving him forward. I fell with him, pinning him beneath me. 

“C’mon, sunshine,” I goaded. “You’ll never beat me if you use the same shit over and over again. C’mon! Show me what he’s taught you.” 

Naruto’s free hand reached down to grab at a spare kunai. I smacked it away, pinning his other hand in the process. 

“Don’t tell me the old bastard hasn’t taught you anything,” I pressed. 

Naruto looked away, a shamed look on his face.

“Naruto,” I spoke quieter this time. “Has he taught you anything?”

Naruto’s eyes flickered to meet mine for a brief second before he looked away again. He shook his head.

I was across the room and shoving Jiraiya against the wall before Naruto even realized I wasn’t pinning him anymore. My hand clenched in Jiraiya’s shirt, pinning him against the wall as my whole body shook with rage.

“Why the _**FUCK**_ haven’t you taught him anything?!” I shouted. “The whole point of you taking him away was to fucking train him! How safe do you think he’s going to be if he doesn’t learn anything new? If his abilities never evolve past where they are now? If I can beat him as he is, then so can anyone in the Akatsuki! What the fuck have you been doing for a year?” 

Jiraiya said nothing; obviously he didn’t feel the need to explain himself to me. 

“Kourubi—” Noboru tried to reach out to place a calming hand on my shoulder. I smacked his hand away without even looking.

“You’re a damn Seal Master, teach him fucking seals, at least!” I argued, my voice only increasing in volume. “He’s a goddamn Uzumaki, it’s not like he’s got anything else of his culture left to him!”

“Wait.” Sasuke’s voice caught my attention. “What does that mean?”

“The Uzumaki clan were known for their fuinjutsu,” I explained, my voice only barely kept in check. “Because of that, other, more powerful villages came to fear them. Their village, Uzushiogakure, was destroyed. The Uzumaki clan was scattered across the continent. Including in Konoha. Not a surprise, really. The First’s wife was an Uzumaki.” 

“The kid doesn’t have the capacity to learn seals,” Jiraiya dismissed. 

Excuse you?!

“I beg to fucking differ!” I snarled. “He learned the Shadow Clone Jutsu in a night! He learned the Rasengan in a week! He’s perfectly fucking capable of learning damn well anything he puts his mind to if people fucking give him a chance! But no one ever does! No one ever gives him any chances! And I’m fucking sick of it! I’m sick of people treating him like an idiot! I’m sick of people treating him like garbage! You don’t want to teach him? FINE! Then let me take him home and I’ll find him a teacher! One that won’t project his fucking father onto him every five seconds!”

Suddenly, I found myself slammed against the very wall I’d been pushing Jiraiya against. Pain, burning and heavy like molten rock, radiated from my back, knocking the breath from me as tears pooled in the corners of my eyes. Jiraiya now took the position I’d held not a second before, eyes narrowed dangerously and his long hair casting menacing shadows over his face.

“Jiraiya-sama, please!” Iruka’s panicked voice reached my ears. “She’s injured!”

“The hell, pervy sage?” Naruto shouted. “Leave her alone!”

“How the hell do you know about the kid’s father?” Jiraiya hissed.

I scowled at him. “Because I’m not fucking blind! Anyone who gives him a second glance would see the resemblance! But no one ever does! And wasn’t that just perfect for the Third’s plan!”

“Wait…what are you talking about?” Naruto asked, his voice quiet and confused.

I glanced his way, then back to Jiraiya, who clenched his hand tighter in my shirt in warning.

“Don’t you dare…”

“Your father is Namikaze Minato,” I said, glaring at Jiraiya defiantly. “The Fourth Hokage.”

Jiraiya released me, stumbling back as if I’d punched him, shock evident on his face. Obviously he hadn’t expected me to say it, figured a threat from a Sanin was enough to silence me. Fat chance, I’d been facing down Sanin since I’d gotten here. 

“Really?” Naruto’s voice was so small, so unsure. 

“Ask Kakashi,” I said bitterly. “He trained under Minato for who knows how many years.” 

Naruto whirled on Kakashi, angry and shocked and betrayed. Kakashi looked away from Naruto, ashamed. It was cruel of me to throw him under the bus like that, but anger and kindness rarely went hand in hand. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” Naruto demanded.

Kakashi’s voice sounded strained, like it hurt him to speak. “You weren’t so supposed to know…”

“No one was supposed to know!” Jiraiya shouted. He glared at me, but didn’t step closer. “How did you know?”

I laughed, loud and fake sounding. “Because I’m not stupid or willfully ignorant! The only Uzumaki in Konoha before Naruto was Kushina-san, and _everyone_ was aware of her and Minato’s relationship. Hell, like I said, anyone who looked a Naruto for more than a second could see the resemblance!” Hell, I was fairly certain the reason that the resemblance wasn’t brought up sooner in the story was the fact that Kishimoto had a nasty habit of making shit up as he went. 

“But no one ever looked at him for very long,” I said, bitterness dripping from my words. “No one cared about him. No one dared even touch him. It wasn’t fair! None of this fucking fair! And it’s all that bastard’s Sarutobi’s fault!”

“Why was no one supposed to know?” Mai asked cautiously, her stance stiff and unsure.

“Because Minato had enemies,” I spat. “Because apparently having an entire village defending an infant wasn’t strong enough security! He lived on his own since he was four. Did you know that? FOUR! With no one to take care of him! No one to look after him! It’s a wonder he didn’t turn out more like Gaara!” 

“Well, why didn’t you do something about it, since you’re so passionate about it?” Jiraiya challenged, his tone more forceful than it’d been before. Guess I stepped on a nerve when I called the Third a bastard.

“I was ten at the time, you asshole!” I shot back. “I shouldn’t have had to! His _godfather_ should have been there for him!”

Jiraiya flinched. Good. Served him right.

“But the moment I could do something, I did,” I hissed. “I walked into the chunin exams and saw a child starving for love and attention and I gave him what he needed. I gave him love. I gave him support. I gave him a _family_! And that is more than _anyone_ else has **_ever done for him!_** ” 

Iruka’s hurt gasp shocked me from my tirade. That…that wasn’t how I meant to say it, even if it was technically true. I – I had to leave. I had to get out. I bolted for the door, snatching my katana off the floor as I went. I ignored the shouts of my name, didn’t matter whether they were livid or concerned. 

I didn’t trust myself out in the village; it was far too easy to get lost in the mist and twisting, turning streets. Instead, I escaped back up to my room, slamming the door behind me. I didn’t bother locking it. It was a simple bolt lock anyway, so any shinobi worth their salt could get in regardless. I tucked myself in the farthest corner from the door, burying my face in my knees as I struggled to breathe without sobbing. My emotions crashed down around me as the adrenaline that’d been pumping through my veins because of the sparring and the argument finally faded. 

I’d fucked up so bad.

I’d spilled too many secrets, even if all the reasoning I gave for why I’d know these things were sound. I’d effectively made an enemy of Jiraiya, one of the most important people in Naruto’s life. I’d hurt Kakashi and Iruka needlessly in my rage. I made Naruto question everyone around him.

I was the worst.

Someone knocked on the door. I ignored them. I couldn’t stand the idea of facing anyone at this point. Everything was too raw, and I had no guarantee that I wouldn’t lash out again. They knocked again, more insistently.

“Go away!” I sobbed, my voice breaking. 

The door opened, because of course it did, revealing Kakashi and Iruka. I hated how worried they looked. I didn’t deserve their concern after how awful I’d been. I shrunk back from them, curling tighter into myself.

“Hey, hey, don’t do that,” Iruka whispered, his voice soft as if speaking to a wild animal. “We’re not mad at you, pretty birdie.”

“You should be,” I muttered, refusing to raise my head.

There was a pause. They were probably sharing some look, using that weird ability they had to have a conversation without saying a word.

An arm went around my shoulder. The hand was cold, so it was probably Kakashi. My suspicion was confirmed when I felt his off kilter headband press against my hair.

“You know, this is exactly what I was talking about back in Suna,” he murmured in my ear. “I really can’t blame you for being as angry as you were. From the outside, it seems like a really bad situation.”

“From the inside it should have seemed like a really bad situation,” I snapped before I could stop myself. 

Kakashi sighed. “We thought it was for the best.”

This time I did lift my head. “You thought it was for the best? Or the Third thought it was for the best?”

“The Third was doing his best…” Iruka tried to explain.

I glared at him. “Well his best was shit! You’re talking about the man who had piles of evidence of Danzo’s corruption and did nothing about it! He should have never gotten the hat back after he passed it off to Minato. Someone else should have stepped up! None of this should have happened.”

“Maybe…” Iruka sounded like he didn’t want to agree. “But that wasn’t what happened, and there’s nothing we can do about it now. We have to accept the past and move forward.” 

I looked away. “I can accept it. But I can’t forgive it.” 

Iruka sat beside me, leaning his head against mine, finding what room he could with Kakashi’s hair in the way. I felt so small in that moment.

“For what it’s worth,” I whispered, “I’m sorry for hurting you. I said things that were cruel and put you both in situations that I never should have. It was unacceptable, and I’m sorry.” 

“From you? That’s worth a lot,” Iruka said, and I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.

“Apology accepted,” Kakashi assured me.

This felt too easy. “Why aren’t you more mad at me? I said some pretty awful things back there.” 

They shared another look. In moments like this, they were unreadable to me. I hated it. 

“You seem to have a far broader standard of what can be considered cruel,” Kakashi mused. “Words can be cruel, yes, but I don’t think anything of what you said would count.”

“I basically sicced Naruto on you,” I reminded him. 

“This is true,” Kakashi agreed. “But there are worse things you could have done.”

“That doesn’t make what I did okay!”

“No,” Kakashi agreed. “But it makes forgiving it a lot easier than you’d expect. It’s easy to forgive angry words when you understand where they’re coming from.” 

“And you’re not technically wrong on my account,” Iruka added. He rubbed at his palm with the thumb of the opposite hand. “I couldn’t do nearly as much for Naruto as I wanted to. He’d already been alone for so long when I first met him. And I couldn’t afford to give him what he needed. He was half the reason I started taking shifts at the mission desk after classes. It still wasn’t enough for both of us, though. I always did regret that.”

I shifted closer to him, taking his hand in mine. His thumb continued rubbing circles, this time into the back of my hand. “I’m sorry.” 

He shook his head, giving a small huff of a laugh. “You gave him all I ever wanted to give him, but couldn’t. Thank you. I’m glad he met you.” 

Tears spilled unexpectantly from the corners of my eyes. Despite this, I smiled. “I am, too. My life is better because he’s in it. Because you’re all in it. And I have him to thank for that.” 

I sighed, leaning back against the wall. They fell with me, their heads landing on my shoulders. I rolled my eyes at all the hair that ended up in my face. I felt like there was still more to say, more I had to atone for. The sound of someone else knocking at the door interrupted before I could, though. 

“Come in,” I called, bracing for whoever came through the door.

My eyes widened when Naruto stepped over the threshold. His eyes looked red, as if he’d crying. My whole body screamed to get up and comfort him, to hold him and let him cry on my shoulder. I lurched forward, but Naruto crossed the room before I could stand up. He sat before me, his expression so serious that it left me feeling cold deep in my stomach. 

When he spoke, his voice was unusually quiet. “Pervy sage…it’s true. He said it’s all true. About my mom and dad. He’s…he’s promised to really teach me this time. So…I’m going to stay with him. I hope you’re not mad.”

I reached out and pulled him into a hug, petting at his hair. “Of course I’m not mad at you. You do whatever you think is best. But…I’m going to give you something before we go. Just in case that old pervert doesn’t keep his promise.”

Naruto pulled away, a curious, excited look in his too blue eyes. “Really? What is it?”

I reached into my shuriken pouch, pulling out a storage scroll. From it, I pulled my first katana. The one I was given for my first mission. I’d since replaced with a much fiercer blade, but it was still good in a pinch. 

“This was my first katana,” I explained to him. “I carry it around in case I lose my other one. I want you to take it. Sasuke still carries around a scroll of the Karasuno Long Blade style kenjutsu. Tell him I said you needed it.” 

Naruto stared at me unabashedly. He took my blade like it was something precious. 

“I wish I could teach it to you myself,” I admitted. “But this will at least give you a head start for when you get home.”

“Nee-chan…” 

“You’re family, sunshine, remember that.” I reached down and wrapped my hand around the wrist where he still wore the bracelet I gave him when he left. “You’re my baby brother and I love you.” 

Iruka shuffled around in his own pouch, pulling out a small book. “It’s not quite as sentimental as Kourubi’s gift, but it serves the same purpose. This is a book of seals, most of them fairly basic. Use this as a jumping off point. If you put your heart into it, I know you can be great.” 

“Maa, you two are making me feel bad,” Kakashi moaned dramatically. He shook his head and smiled at Naruto, who clung to our presents like his life depended on it. “I don’t have a gift for you, I’m afraid. But I’ll be sure to have one ready when you get back.” He reached out and ruffled Naruto’s already messy hair. “Sound good?” 

Naruto just nodded, swallowing around the lump in his throat. He stood quickly, whipping at the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. 

“I-I’m gonna go get that scroll from Sasuke,” he announced, quickly turning and marching towards the door. When he reached it, however, he stopped. He turned to face us one last time. “Thank you! For everything!”

And with that he was gone. 

I threw my head back, laughing and crying in equal measure.

 

“Are you sure you can’t stay longer?” Mei asked as she watched us do one last supply check outside the village gates. 

“Your hospitality was more than we could have asked for, but we do need to get home,” I told her, watching Sasuke hand over a scroll over to Naruto out of the corner of my eye. “Perhaps another time.” 

“Perhaps,” Mei agreed. She held out her hand behind her, as if waiting for something. Haku pulled a scroll out from his robes and handed it over readily. Mei then handed it over to me. 

“What’s this?” I asked.

“An open invitation for treaty negotiation for the Hokage,” Mei explained breezily. “Be sure she gets that as soon as possible. One can never have too many friends. I’m sure you know this.” 

“Oh yes,” I agreed with a secretive smile. “I know a thing or two about friends in high places. I’ll make sure Tsunade-sama gets this as soon as possible.” 

Mei turned and left with her entourage, including Kisame, who’d come to bid farewell to Itachi. In her place, Naruto wandered over, hand clutching at the scroll Sasuke had given him. Jiraiya waited for him just inside the gate, staring me down. 

“I’m going to miss you even more now,” I told Naruto, pulling him into a hug. 

“I’ll miss you, too,” he whispered. “But, I’ll be back before you know it. And I’ll be stronger than ever. Just you watch.” 

“I know you will,” I assured him. “And, if the old pervert is still being an ass about training you, you just cut off that dumb hair of his with my katana. Got it?”

“Got it!” Naruto pulled back, flashing me a smile that didn’t quite distract from his teary eyes. 

I reached up to push back his headband, placing a soft kiss to his forehead – the kind I gave Sasuke so often that he’d long ago decided to wear his headband around his neck. “Love you, baby brother.” 

I watched as Jiraiya led him away one more time. I turned and faced the path out of Kiri, desperate to distract myself before I started crying. I bit my thumb and flew through the hand signs of one last summon. 

Two figures emerged from the smoke this time, both nearly the size of Shinonome, one white and one black. They stared down at me, heads held high with pride.

“Karasuno Kourubi, head of her clan,” the white one spoke, “we are Hinosuke and Yorunosuke, sons of the Sage Shinonome.” 

“Father has tasked us with seeing you back to Konohagakure,” Yorunosuke continued for his brother. “Please, let us carry you as our father did.” 

I nodded, a grateful smile on my lips. “Thank you. Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't mention a song specifically for Kourubi's Requiem this time, but I was listening to [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFH1aEjKfjE) the whole chapter so, let's call that our featured song.
> 
> This chapter was super cathartic for me. I know Jiraiya is a Big Deal in the fandom, along with a certain other character I won't mention here, and I'm not sure if I'm in the minority or not in disliking him so immensely. Either way, it felt good for me to vent my frustrations, Kourubi's such a good mouthpiece for that, lol. I recently read a post on tumblr about the very clear fact that the culture of the Shinobi World is drastically different from us -- something about how trauma affects the brain and the brains of a person's decendents and what not, wish I had a link, it was a good post -- and I think that's why Kourubi's outsider perspective is good in this world. That probably also explains why Iruka and Kakashi forgive Kourubi pretty easily for things she beats herself up over, specifically her words. What use is there being mad over words when people have literally stabbed you in the back? (Speaking of which, I'll be getting to Mizuki eventually)
> 
> Anyway, this was a long end note, I've gotta get my ass in gear and write three chapters this month since Nanowrimo is coming up and I'm itching for another win. Wish me luck, and tell me what you think of the chapter in the comments below! Okay, love you, bye!


	43. In Which Tsunade Has an Anouncement

I realized something just as the walls and gate of Konoha came into view: there was no way we could go through the gate with Itachi. I had no guarantee that Tsunade had said anything to the general shinobi population about Danzo and the truth behind the Uchiha Massacre. 

“Yorunosuke, Hinosuke,” I called over the wind. “Take us past the village walls. Go until you can find some unoccupied land to set us down. We’ll take it from there.” 

The two giant ravens made cawing noises in response, beating their wings hard to take us higher over the trees. I felt bad bypassing the gate (and probably Izumo and Kotetsu), but I couldn’t risk Itachi being attacked by ignorant shinobi. Yorunosuke and Hinosuke set us down on one of the lesser-used training grounds just inside the walls. 

“Thank you, you two,” I said softly, petting at their necks. “And tell your father thanks for me as well. The three of you were a great help.”

“We are at your beck and call, Kourubi-dono,” Hinosuke insisted. 

Yorunosuke nodded his giant head. “Call upon us at any time.”

They disappeared in giant clouds of smoke. I turned back to my team, who waited patiently for my next order, stretching and rubbing at sore muscles.

“Okay, we need to get to the Hokage tower without anyone interfering,” I said plainly. “Tsunade’s likely kept this whole thing under wraps, so any other shinobi would likely attack Itachi on sight.”

“Meaning we need to take to the less-traveled shinobi highways,” Iruka suggested. 

I nodded. ‘Shinobi highways’ was a fancy way of saying ‘rooftops,’ in all honesty. Ninjas often took to the tops of buildings to avoid civilians and get places quicker. Hell, buildings in the village were built closer together to facilitate such travel. Trying to find a path that made sure we didn’t run into other shinobi was going to be a task and a half, though. 

“I’ll lead the way,” Kakashi offered. “I’m a master at avoiding human interaction, after all.”

“Let’s hope Gai isn’t out and about, then,” I joked in return. “He’s basically a human sonar when it comes to finding you. I’m pretty sure his boyfriend can hide from him better than you can.”

Noboru shrugged. “It’s true.” 

Kakashi led us on a roundabout route towards the Tower, ducking us down rarely traveled alleyways and over probably-abandoned houses with crumbling roofs. Half the time it almost felt like he was leading us away from the Tower instead of towards it. Noboru-sensei facilitated the travel, warning him of nearby chakra signatures. It took us probably three times as long that it normally would, but eventually we landed on the ledge outside Tsunade’s window. 

I knocked politely against the glass, startling her from whatever paperwork she was doing. She rushed to the window, slamming it open.

“A little warning would be nice,” she chastised. She let us in anyway, and I could see her counting us to make sure we’d all returned. 

“We didn’t want to risk the possibility of an overzealous chunin trying to prove himself by attacking Itachi,” I told her.

She sighed, “Fair enough. Alright, I want a full report. Now.” 

I clasped hands behind my back and recounted the whole story as best I could, though it didn’t help that I was constantly interrupted by the others.

“And then she electrocuted herself!” Ryou jumped in just as I was getting to the part where we’d confronted Itachi and Kisame.

“I would like to remind you, Ryou, that I would not have had to if it wasn’t for the insubordination you and the others exhibited,” I hissed over my shoulder at him.

“Insubordination?” Tsunade echoed. 

“I told each member of my team – save for Sasuke and Sakura – in turn to remove the seal Iruka had placed on us earlier,” I explained. “Itachi would not believe my words, so I felt it best to allow him to use his Tsukuyomi ability to allow him to see into my mind and see our intentions. None of them would. So I took drastic measures.”

“You electrocuted yourself?!” Tsunade shouted, disbelief evident on her face.

“I used a lightning jutsu to attack the seal,” I corrected. 

“Come here!” Tsunade growled, grabbing a chair from the wall and pointing at it. “Sit down and let me see.” 

I wasn’t in the position to argue, so sit I did. Tsunade’s glowing hands worked up and down my back, and I could hear her cursing under her breath. 

“Are you trying to kill yourself?!” she demanded. “Because that’s what it certainly looks like.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said. “Of course I wasn’t! But I was desperate and no one was listening to me. So I did what I had to. If I hadn’t, we might have lost our chance, and Itachi would still be with the Akatsuki.” 

Tsunade sighed. I could feel the low, radiant pain that’d been plaguing me the past few days fade somewhat. 

“I can’t do much more than this,” she said, and I could hear the regret in her voice. “If you’d come back immediately afterwards, I might have been able to do more, might have been able to heal you completely. But once nerve damage sets in, it’s relentlessly stubborn. You’ll have to come back for weekly follow-ups.”

“Yes ma’am.” 

“I need the rest of your report,” she said. “Continue.” 

I continued where I’d left off: with convincing Kisame to also leave the Akatsuki. Tsunade seemed honestly impressed that I’d managed to take out two of the most powerful S-ranked missing nin in one fell swoop. I continued on, mentioning Hanako’s upcoming wedding in passing. 

“Yes, I’ve received my official invitation,” Tsunade said, and I couldn’t tell exactly what she was feeling from her tone, but it sounded sad. She was probably remembering her own almost-marriage. “I can only assume yours have arrived as well.”

From there I recounted our journey to Kiri, where we’d dropped off Kisame with the new Mizukage. I handed over the scroll Mei had given me at that point. Tsunade set it to the side, probably to hand over to the Intelligence Corps to make sure it wasn’t rigged with something. 

And then I got to Naruto and Jiraiya’s part of the story, and I felt my blood boil just at the thought of it.

“You mean to tell me that you revealed classified information in front of enemy combatants because you were pissed at the old pervert for not training the brat as promised?” Tsunade asked, her voice carefully schooled into something resembling calm. 

“No, because there were no enemy combatants present,” I corrected. “The Mizukage has made it clear that they are in no position to provoke any kind of war. They are desperate for allies at this point. Besides, if any of them had ever seen Minato in combat, then they should have recognized that Naruto had some relation to him from the beginning. It’s painfully obvious to anyone who looks at him for longer than a moment. And even if they hadn’t known that simply by looking, the Uzumaki name would have put him in even greater danger than any relation to Minato could in Kiri. Or have we all forgotten that Kiri was one of the villages that destroyed Uzushio?” 

Tsunade leveled me with a thoughtful stare. I met her eyes without wavering. This…I would never back down about this. Naruto’s treatment over the years was unacceptable and had been completely avoidable. I would never let those in power forget what they’d done to my brothers. 

“The resemblance is uncanny,” Tsunade agreed quietly. She shook her head. “Still, that sort of thing can’t go unpunished. I’ll be leaving a formal reprimand on your record, as well as a restriction. You will not be allowed to pursue any career in the Intelligence Corps.”

Not that I wanted to, but I understood her logic. Couldn’t have a loudmouth like me around so much sensitive information. I was honestly surprised she hadn’t kicked me out of the Archive. Then again, I’d done my best work there. And replacing an Archive shinobi was far more effort than she probably wanted to deal with, especially since if I left, Sasuke was sure to leave with me.

A formal reprimand was a bit nastier. If I got another one, I’d be demoted. If I got a third, I’d be stripped of my position as a shinobi all together. As far as I knew, it rarely ever came to that. Most shinobi had very few other life skills that would allow them to find work if they were ever fired, so two strikes tended to be more than enough to set them straight. Still, my first mission as a jonin and I’d already gotten a formal reprimand. That stung a little. 

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And don’t think I won’t be making notes of your insubordination,” Tsuande snapped at my team, her eyes on Kakashi, Noboru, and Iruka. “Nekozawa and Kumamoto’s I could possibly forgive, but you three should know better. I know for a fact that if the shoe had been on the other foot, none of you would hesitate in reporting that team member to me.” 

Kakashi buried his hands even further in his pockets, Iruka, frankly, looked uncomfortable, and Noboru-sensei was flushed with embarrassment at being chided. I’d never seen the three of them look more like children. Stubborn, pouting children who’d been caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

“How can you expect her to respect your orders if you won’t respect hers?” Tsunade continued, her voice softer but still harsh with criticism. “Yes, she is young. Yes, she is reckless. But that does not make her incapable of leading and making the right decisions. She brought you all home alive, didn’t she? Considering you were up against two of the most dangerous missing nin in the world, I’d say she knows better than you give her credit for.” 

Warmth filled my chest at her words. Was…was she praising me? Even after what I’d done? I felt my throat tighten and I inhaled deeply in an attempt to stop tears from welling up in the corners of my eyes. I shouldn’t be so damn happy about that, but I was. I didn’t often get praised, not like this. I was told I was strong, that I was fast. It was very rare that I was told I could lead. Or at least it felt that way. 

“Now, to address the elephant in the room.” Tsunade turned her gaze to Itachi, who’d stood by quietly this whole time, waiting to be addressed. “Welcome home, Itachi. It may not mean much to hear me say this, but I regret everything that happened to you. I’m so sorry.” 

“Your apology is appreciated, Hokage-sama,” Itachi replied softly, his words as stiff as his posture. “It is…good to be back.”

Tsunade huffed. “I wouldn’t say that just yet. Even with an official announcement from me – which I do plan on making – I can’t promise you that the village will just welcome you back with open arms. You’ve been hated for a long time, Itachi, that doesn’t go away overnight.”

Itachi simply nodded, he’d known that from the start. We’d all had. 

“You will be compensated for your time with the Akatsuki in the manner that all infiltrators are,” Tsunade assured him. “I’ll have you report to Intelligence later this week. I’m assuming Karasuno will be taking you in?”

“Of course, Hokage-sama,” I replied before Itachi could object, and he certainly looked like he was going to.

“Good. Before you take him home, I’ll need to give him a physical,” Tsuande said, already standing from her desk. “I’m sure he hasn’t been keeping up with his health while he’s been away. Missing nin rarely do. As for the rest of you, I expect full mission reports to be turned into the desk by the end of the week. Hatake, Kujaku, I expect you to instruct the brats on proper protocol for S-ranked report filing.” 

“Yes, Hokage-sama,” they agreed in unison. 

Ryou gasped behind me. S-ranked missions were like winning the lottery when it came to pay. I had no doubt he and Genma could pay for a years worth of day care and then some with the pay from this mission alone. This was probably one of the best things that’d happened to him in the past few months. 

“You’re dismissed,” Tsunade said. “Except you, Karasuno. You’ll need to stay for this.” 

Sasuke hesitated at my side before Kakashi wrapped a hand around his shoulder and pulled him away. Neither of them looked like they wanted to leave me alone, but no one was about to ignore Tsunade’s orders.

She grabbed the two of us by the arm and flickered us both into an empty hospital room. I couldn’t help but wonder how she knew this room in particular would be empty. Was this her examination room? Was she the only one who got to use it? I didn’t voice my questions, instead watching as Tsunade’s glowing green hand passed over Itachi’s head, throat, and down to his chest.

Tsunade inhaled sharply, her eyes wide with sudden horror. “Dear god, Uchiha, how long have your lungs been filling with blood?!” 

I felt myself grow pale as the blood rushed from my face. I knew he was sick, knew that it was his illness that had killed him just before Sasuke could. But it had always been one of those nebulous sicknesses, the kind given to tragic characters without any real logic. Now that I knew what it was doing…it made the whole thing that much more real, more frightening.

“A few months,” Itachi answered quietly. “I have medicine that helps suppress the symptoms.” 

“Suppressing the symptoms and curing the illness are two drastically different things,” Tsunade scolded. “This…this will require several intensive sessions to fix. And even after that, your lungs may never fully recover.”

Well, it wasn’t like that sort of thing stopped people from being shinobi, otherwise Hayate wouldn’t be as respected as he was. I was just glad to hear that Tsunade could do anything about it at all. The miracles medical ninjutsu could accomplish were beyond anything I could have hoped for. 

Itachi merely nodded. “I understand.” 

Tsunade seemed unnerved by how quickly Itachi seemed to accept her words. Itachi had always seemed to be too quick to accept things as unchangeable, or unavoidable. There were a disturbing number of shinobi like that. What was it about this world that made so many people all to quick to accept things without trying to change them? Why were those that did want to change it so often relegated to villainous roles? Did that make me the villain, the antagonist? I fought with the heroes so often, spilled secrets in ways that made me a liability. I was stubborn and reckless and, more than that, I was angry. Always so angry.

Maybe I was the villain.

“I’m not putting you back on active duty,” Tsunade went on, unaware of the storm in my mind. “Not for a long while. And until I’ve announced you’re sudden and miraculous return to us from your long infiltration mission, I expect you to stay put in the Karasuno compound.” She turned to me. “And I expect you to keep an eye on him.”

“Am I being pulled from the Archive, then?” I asked. 

“For now,” Tsunade agreed. “The younger Uchiha brat can take care of the Archive on his own for a while.” 

There was a long moment of silence as Tsunade continued her examination. The clock on the wall ticked, the sound almost deafening in the quiet. 

“Will you tell everyone what Danzo did?” I asked. “When you make your announcement, I mean?” 

Tsunade paused, her hand hovering over some medical instrument that I didn’t know the name of. “I suppose I’ll have to.”

“Will you allow me to explain the details to my council?” I continued. “They will need to accept this first.”

“Fine,” Tsunade acquiesced; though she sounded like she didn’t really want to.

I bowed slightly. “Thank you.”

 

Tou-san and kaa-san were waiting for us at the kitchen table along with Kakashi, Iruka, and Sasuke. They jumped from the table when they saw Itachi come in behind me, my mother’s hand instinctively going to the tanto tucked behind her back. 

“Come on guys,” I grumbled at the men still sitting at the table. “Did you tell them nothing?”

“We were just in the middle of that,” Sasuke groused back, resting his chin in his hand. 

“Kourubi-chan! Your hair!” my mother shot forward to examine my new pixie cut. “What happened? Who did this?”

“I did,” I admitted freely. “It was an accident with a jutsu. It’s just hair, kaa-san. I’m fine.” 

She looked like she wanted to protest – that it was more than hair, it was a symbol of something important and that’s why it was a clan tradition – but she didn’t. Instead, she let her hands fall to my shoulders, looking painfully disappointed. “You’re right. I’m glad you came home safe.” 

Something about the way she said it didn’t seem right, though. She…why did she just assume I was okay? She didn’t even ask what I meant by accident. The room suddenly felt terribly claustrophobic. My stomach churned as I spoke up. “Traditions are not more important than people, kaa-san.” 

She blinked at me, shocked by my statement. “Of course they are.”

I met her eyes, clenching my suddenly clammy hands into shaking fists. “Then why didn’t you ask if I was injured? Why focus on the hair? I told you there was an accident with a jutsu and you didn’t even ask if I was okay! You didn’t even ask what happened!”

I stepped back from her, but in this suddenly so-small room it wasn’t far enough away. I felt betrayed – lied to. I’d always assumed that kaa-san was better than the others. That she understood more than anyone else. Tou-san stepped forward, reach towards me.

“It’s not that we don’t care, Kourubi-chan…”

I stepped even farther back – still not far enough. “It’s just that you care more about my goddamn hair than you do about the rest of me!” 

“We didn’t say that!” kaa-san shouted, her frustration and confusion getting the better of her. Her face was flushing red, and not in the good way. 

“You sure as hell implied it!” I shouted back. “I walk in and my hair is the first thing you focus on? What the actual hell? How about asking me if I’m okay first? I…I thought you were better than that. Thought you were better than the rest of them.”

“Kourubi-chan…” My father seemed genuinely shocked at my anger. 

I gestured sharply at Itachi behind me. “I brought you home a new son. Look, he’s even got the long hair you care so damn much about.”

“Kourubi.” My attention turned to Iruka as he stood slowly from the table, moving like I was a wild animal that he didn’t want to startle. “Calm down. Talk to us. Why are you so angry?”

He couldn’t tell? He honestly had no idea? Did any of them? “It’s bad enough that I’m treated like a child by my clan even when I looked just like they wanted me to, can you imagine how they’ll react when they see me now? Hanako…she made me hope that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. That people would understand. And then I get home…and the first thing my own mother notices is my hair. She didn’t ask if I was okay. She didn’t ask if I’d been injured. She asked about my **hair**! The fucking _least important part of me_! I thought…even if the rest of the clan threw a goddamn hissy fit, at least my parents wouldn’t care. But I guess I was wrong.

“You know why my hair is so goddamn short now?” I shouted, turning to glare at my parents, who flinched back from me. “Because it got fucking shorn off with lighting so I could bring Itachi home. Because even outside the clan no one fucking listens to me and I had to break a seal with fucking lightning! And now my back is fucked up, will be for months, maybe even years. But no! It’s the hair you care about! I saved two men from the Akatsuki, brought them home. Do you even care?!” I could feel the tears spilling over my cheeks, could feel my throat close up like I was suffocating. “I thought you’d be proud of me…”

I couldn’t say anything else, my breaths coming out in hiccupping sobs. I was just…so tired. Tired of being looked down on, tired of being disrespected, tired of being patronized. I’d known this was going to happen, knew people would react this way. If it were anyone else, it probably wouldn’t have gotten to me. But coming from my parents of all people…that hurt too much to ignore. 

“It’s just f-fucking hai-ir,” I sobbed. 

Arms wrapped around me, trembling hands grasped my shoulders. I was pulled forward, my face pressed against the shoulder of someone far shorter than me. 

“I’m so sorry,” my mother whispered, her voice trembling just like her hands. “I never meant to make you feel that way. I should have known…I’m your mother I should have known how you felt. You’re right. It’s just hair. It was just hair when you refused to grow it out, and it’s just hair now. It doesn’t matter. You matter. I’m so sorry. So sorry.” 

Of course kaa-san hadn’t meant to hurt me. She never meant to hurt me. She was just part of the same system as the others, she couldn’t escape that. She was still far better than the old men who looked down on me for one reason or another. Kaa-san and tou-san did their best to understand. It didn’t help that I’d only been ‘Kourubi’ for maybe two years at this point. From what I could tell, the real Kourubi would never have exploded like I did for something so miniscule. 

“Are you okay?” I looked up to see my father’s concerned face. 

I pulled back from my mother, but didn’t step away. “I’ll live. Tsunade-sama is going to have her job cut out for her, but I’ll be fine eventually.” 

My father’s frown only deepened. It was the first time I could really see his age in his face – the crows feet in the corner of his eyes and the laugh lines around his mouth. “That’s not what I meant.”

Oh, no. I supposed that wasn’t what he meant. Shame clawed at my gut and climbed up my throat, leaving words heavy in my mouth. “I…don’t know. I don’t mean to be so angry all the time I just…”

My mother smiled – no, that wasn’t quite right. It looked like a smile, but it was small and sad and painfully understanding. “Do you remember, when you were twelve, and you went on your first C-rank mission? You stabbed one of the young noble women you were escorting in the hand because they kept touching Noboru-sensei inappropriately. Your anger was justified, even if your actions were extreme. But, no one took into account that if it was anyone else touching Noboru-sensei like that, they would have been charged with a crime. All they saw was a young shinobi attack a high paying customer. They didn’t care about your reasoning. The Third Hokage scolded you harshly, as did the council.”

I didn’t remember that, but it sounded familiar. Even now, most of Kourubi’s memories were beyond my reach. The major events – her graduation, her team assignment, her first summoning of Mori and Gan, those I could all remember clearly. For the life of me, I couldn’t even remember what her favorite food was. 

I could remember vague images – pale skin and dark hair, pretty silk robes stained with droplets of blood. I definitely remembered yelling, though, and resentment. So much resentment. The thought of it brought up bile to burn my throat – a demon reminding me that it still owned part of my soul. 

“I never saw you react in anger again,” kaa-san continued softly. “Not until recently. For six years, you bottled up your anger inside, hid it away because the world refused to encourage the righteousness of it. I guess your body decided it refused to keep it in anymore.”

No, it was because the person who carried all her anger inside wasn’t here anymore. And I, now that I could, refused to let my anger go unnoticed. I couldn’t stand aside and seethe while the world carried on with its bullshit. Not now that I had power.

Not now that I had a voice. 

Desperate to change the subject, to remove myself from the center of attention, I turned to Itachi with a sympathetic smile. “Uh…welcome to the family? Sorry you had to witness family drama so soon. I promise we’re not always like that.” 

“Don’t lie, you’ve always got some injustice you’re this close from exploding over,” Sasuke snarked, holding his pointer finger and thumb maybe a millimeter apart to illustrate his point.

“And those explosions landed me two brothers,” I shot back, forcing a triumphant grin. “So ha!” 

“Two brothers?” Itachi echoed, sounding thoroughly overwhelmed.

“Well, three brothers now,” I said, meeting his eyes. “I meant what I said, you know. If Sasuke is my baby brother, then that makes you my brother, too.” 

Itachi seemed unsure what to make of that, and wholly uncomfortable because of it. I frowned, chiding myself silently. Of course Itachi would be uncomfortable with the idea of being shoved into a new family dynamic. He’d been older when the Uchiha clan perished, more aware of his place in it and its dynamics. He’d lost just as much as Sasuke did, but had probably long since come to terms with that loss, or at least as best he could. Even if coming to terms meant living in guilt until he could manipulate his brother into killing him. 

“You know what? Don’t worry about it,” I reassured him. “Take the time you need getting used to everything. Then we can talk about what you think your role here should be.” 

Itachi visibly relaxed, looking – for once – like the young man he was. He wasn’t that much older than I was. It was a shame that we carried such a terrible world on our shoulders so young. 

“You’ll need to tell the council, at least, that he’s here,” tou-san reminded me.

“In the morning,” I agreed. “Right now, I’m too tired. I might snap at someone else if I hear anything else about my fucking hair.” 

“Well, at least with Kasasagi here, I can talk to her about clothes for our new housemate,” kaa-san said, a joking lilt to her voice that didn’t sound quite as sincere as she probably wanted. She turned to Itachi, a sympathetic smile on her face. “Come on, then. Let’s get you settled. You’ve got a long few days ahead of you.” 

 

I called a council meeting the next day, just after breakfast. I sat Itachi down beside me. It was strange to see him in something other than the Akatsuki cloak, even after being with him for several days after he discarded it in the woods. It was even stranger still to see him wear clan clothing. It was ill-fitting – my father was far broader in the shoulders than Itachi, but there was little else we could do. 

Sasuke sat across from us, his fingers tapping impatiently on his knee as we waited for the others to arrive. They all seemed to come at once, Ahiru with Sukua, and then Kiui, Kamome, and Kasasagi just behind them. Kamome’s eyes fell on Itachi first, her hand flying to the tanto strapped to her waist, her face pale and her eyes wide with sudden fear.

“Stop!” I shouted, nearly falling forward as I threw out my hands. “Don’t hurt him. Please. Let me explain first.” 

Kasasagi’s eyes landed on my hair. I watched them grow wide, bracing for the inevitable comment. To my surprise, she said nothing despite the obvious concern on her face. She sat quietly beside Sasuke, hand clenched tightly in her lap. Kamome moved slowly, her eyes never leaving Itachi’s form even as her hand fell from the grip of her tanto. Kiui eyed the two of us curiously, hands stuffed in the pockets of her lab coat – which she seemed to wear just about everywhere – as she stepped into the audience room. Ahiru and Sukua shared a nervous look before coming forward and taking their places in the line as well. 

“Explain,” Kamome hissed, “quickly.” 

I told them all I could. I told them about the investigation, about why we’d raided Root, about Danzo’s hatred towards the Uchiha. I told them about the mission, about the seal that I broke in the most violent manner possible.

“That explains the hair,” Kiui muttered. “Good gods, though, I’m surprise you’re not dead, Kourubi.” 

“I couldn’t see any other solution,” I murmured, embarrassment turning my cheeks pink. Why did everyone have to scold me for it? I did the right thing. I’d saved everyone, couldn’t they just accept that?

“The elders won’t be happy to see you like that,” Ahiru warned. “They won’t care about your motivation, to them you will simply be flying in the face of our traditions.”

I couldn’t stop the frown from tugging at my lips. “I know.”

Kamome, who’d been silent the whole story, stared at me contemplatively, her face set in stony determination. She reached back suddenly, tugging her tanto from its sheath. Before I could ask her what the hell she was doing, she reached up, grasping her ponytail, and violently pulled her tanto through it, breaking her hair tie in the process. My breath caught in my throat as she came away with the vast majority of her hair in her hand, her feathers falling to the floor as her hair fluttered about her shoulders.

I struggled for words and Kiui held out her hand to Kamome. “Give me that.”

Kiui, too, gathered her hair up in her hands and sliced though it with Kamome’s tanto. It was a far rougher cut than Kamome’s, a clear, sharp angle forming from one side to the next. Her brilliant red hair fell to the tatami, abandoned. 

“What are you doing?!” I demanded, panic creeping into my voice.

“I will not allow you to face ridicule alone,” Kamome said plainly. “If they throw a fit about your hair, then they’re going to have to throw a fit about our hair too.” 

Kiui moved to pass the tanto to Kasasagi, who reached out readily for it. I flickered forward, grabbing Kiui’s hand before she could pass it off.

“Enough!” I shouted. “You…you don’t have to do this. Please.”

Kasasagi’s surprisingly strong hands pried me from Kiui’s. She took the tanto, and, like the two before her, severed her hair from the bun it’d been tied up in. Her eyes met mine as her hair fell about her like autumn leaves.

“Yes, we do.” 

Something in me snapped, unable to comprehend what the fuck was going, and I just started laughing uncontrollably. It was ridiculous. All of it was ridiculous. This clan put so much damn importance on fucking hair that the act of cutting it was seen as a rebellious act of solidarity. I could see the horror on Ahiru and Sukua’s faces, whether at the hair cutting or my manic laughter I couldn’t tell. Sasuke eyed the blade as well.

“Don’t you dare, baby brother,” I chided through my fading laughter. “Your hair looks better this way than it ever did before. Don’t you dare cut it. Besides, the elders already hate you, let’s not give them another reason.” 

Sasuke settled back down, though he seemed disappointed.

I turned my attention back to the other girls as they tried to rearrange their feathers to better suit their new hairstyles. “You all look ridiculous. My hair was a damn accident. There was no need for any of this. Besides, now instead of just getting flack for having short hair, they’re going to say I’m corrupting the youth.”

Kiui shrugged. “Pretty sure dealing with bullshit is what the middle finger was made for.” 

I shook my head. “As much as I would love to see you flipping the elders the bird, you shouldn’t have to in the first place.”

“And you should have to fear what people think of you,” Kasasagi replied somberly. “Hair is hair. You are more important than a tradition, especially one as cosmetic as this. As long as we can still wear our feathers, then it should not matter how short our hair is. We are young, and it will grow back.” 

I smiled, ignoring the tears that rolled down my cheeks. “You’re all far too good to me.” 

“Hardly,” Kiui said with a roll of her eyes. “Say that when we electrocute ourselves for you.”

“I’d rather not,” Sukua muttered under his breath, earning a nod from a rather pale looking Ahiru. 

I just laughed, “I’d never ask that of you.”

“Back to the more pressing matter at hand,” Sukua said, his eyes landing on Itachi. “What shall we tell the rest of the clan?”

“Nothing until Tsunade-sama has made her official announcement,” I answered. “Which hopefully won’t take too terribly long. I must ask that you not tell anyone about his presence here, not even your families.”

Kasasagi shifted uncomfortably at that. “What should we tell them if they ask?”

“Just tell them that I just wanted to inform you of my…accident from the mission.” It wasn’t a total lie, really. I had asked them over to discuss Itachi, but the focus of the meeting had seemed stubbornly set on my injury and my hair. 

Kasasagi seemed pacified with that. She obviously didn’t like the idea of lying to Daisuke, and I couldn’t blame her. But until Tsunade made her announcement, there wasn’t really anything I could do about it.

 

Tsunade’s announcement came not three days later. Itachi and I had gone in for our first follow up appointment when she told us that we were to follow her back to the Hokage Tower. When we arrived Kamome and Tenzo, both in their ANBU gear, herded us up to the top of the tower. 

“What’s going on?” I hissed to them, standing far enough back from the edge that no one in the absolute throng of people below could see me.

“Tsunade-sama is going to make her announcement,” Tenzo explained. “And she wanted you and Itachi up here and away from the crowd, just in case a riot happened.” 

“If she’s expecting a riot, then maybe she shouldn’t do it this way,” Itachi said mildly.

“What other way would she do it?” I asked. “A newspaper article?” 

Kamome shushed us. Tsunade stepped towards the microphone that’d been set up at the edge of the roof, just in front of the railing. The crowd of shinobi and civilians that had gathered below went quiet without prompting, which was a miracle in and of itself.

“Citizens of Konoha,” Tsunade’s voice carried even without the microphone, “I am sure you have all been asking yourselves where Councilman Shimura has been these past few days. I regret to inform you that Shimura Danzo is currently on the run as a missing nin of Konoha.” 

The murmurs picked up again, joined by the staccato sound of several shocked gasps. I had no visual on the crowd, but I was sure that there were several pockets of people who weren’t surprised…all of them being shinobi that had been there the day of the raid. 

“The depth of Shimura Danzo’s treason can not be understated,” Tsunade continued, her words silencing the crowd. “As he is the man behind the Uchiha Massacre.”

Shouts this time, loud and disbelieving. I couldn’t bring myself to be surprised. The people had their villain for that story, and it hadn’t been Danzo. They’d spent years believing that Itachi had acted alone, out of some insane desire to grow strong. To tell them that he’d been ordered by one of the most well-respected members of the community…whenever they finally decided to believe it, their faith in the village would be shaken to the core.

“Shimura Danzo took advantage of the distrust that had been placed upon the Uchiha Clan, and forced Uchiha Itachi to slaughter his own kinsmen for the sake of ‘security,’” Tsunade stated. “Such actions can not be excused. But instead of facing justice like a true shinobi, Shimura Danzo fled the village. 

“In his place, Uchiha Itachi has returned to the village.”

More shouts, almost deafening in volume. I could feel a headache building in my temples. I almost wished Tsunade hadn’t decided to make this announcement.

“We welcome him back with open arms,” Tsunade said, warning evident in her voice, “as a true shinobi of Konoha, as he has spent these past years undercover, protecting Konoha in a way Shimura Danzo could never.”

The shouts died down, replaced with more murmuring. Tsunade must have gone through more of the Third’s journals while we were gone. Sarutobi had indeed sent Itachi to spy on the Akatsuki, but I was fairly certain no one knew that. Which was stupid bullshit, but everything the Third did was stupid bullshit. 

I expected Tsunade to say more, or elaborate somehow, but the only other thing she said was a curt, “Thank you for your time.” 

She turned back to us, sighing with relief the moment she was out of sight from the crowd. “You and your antics are going to make me go grey, Karasuno.” 

“I’m sure you’ll look just as pretty, Hokage-sama,” I consoled, only half joking. 

“Flattery will get you no where at this point, Karasuno,” she drawled. “I suggest you two get home as fast as possible. No doubt people will have worked out that Itachi is staying with the same clan his younger brother is.”

Shit.

I grabbed Itachi by the wrist and bolted for the edge of the tower, biting my lip enough to break skin as we went. I released his wrist to rub some of the blood onto my thumb and run through the signs for the summoning jutsu. Itachi, wisely, kept running after me.

We jumped, and Yorunosuke appeared in an explosion of smoke, wings flapping in near psychic anticipation of the mid-air summon.

“Get us home, Yorunosuke, fast!” 

We took off in the direction of the clan compound. A glance down showed Kakashi, Sasuke, and Iruka all speeding over the rooftops just beneath us. I coaxed Yorunosuke down, reaching out for them.

“Grab on!” 

Sasuke grasped my wrist, and I hauled him aboard. Kakashi grabbed Iruka and tossed him over his shoulder like a sack of flour before leaping up onto Yorunosuke’s back like a damn jackrabbit. I looked back, seeing the crowd moving about like an agitated colony of ants after a foolish child stomped on their hill. Already a small mob was heading in the direction of my home. 

“Iruka, darlin’, I think we’re going to need stronger wards around the compound.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone draw me a pic of my Kay-Squad girls with their short hair. I'd love you forever.
> 
> Last update before Nanowrimo hits. I'll be participating again this year, but I hope to have my November updates squared away before that happens. I've got one chapter squared away, but I'm gonna have to scramble this week to get the second one done. Plus, I hope to finish my 'thank you for 500 kudos' fic before November, but we'll just have to see. 
> 
> I can't believe I didn't mention this last chapter, but Hinosuke and Yorunosuke basically mean 'Daytime Helper' and 'Nighttime Helper' which is funny 'cause Shinonome means 'dawn'.   
> Ha, I'm so clever (no I'm not, ignore me and my stupid names). 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading. Let me know what you think in the comments down below. Love you. Bai.


	44. In Which the Sage Stands up for Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there, look at me, back with an actual update. For those of you who might not be aware, last time instead of posting a normal update, I posted a 'thank you' fic in celebration of reaching 500 kudos. You can read that [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12650010). And if you're subscribed to this story, but would also like to keep up with when I post other things, you can follow me on [tumblr](http://melodyfromanotherworld.tumblr.com/) and I have a [twitter](https://twitter.com/thecelticpanda) now. 
> 
> As always, let me know what you think in the comments, and to all my America readers: Happy Thanksgiving!

A small mob of my clansmen was already gathered outside the house when we returned. My best guess was that Tsunade’s announcement had also been broadcast over the radio, which would explain why so many people were already at the house, as there was no way they would have beaten us back from the tower. 

“Get ready for a lot of yelling,” I warned the others, though it was mostly for Itachi’s sake. Iruka, Kakashi, and Sasuke were all perfectly aware of how my clansmen got. 

The wind kicked up by Yorunosuke’s descent scattered the crowd a bit, allowing us to land without much struggle. The moment I set my foot down on solid ground, however, they were on me like glaze on a donut. Yorunosuke, wisely, decided not to stick around.

“How dare you bring a criminal into our clan!” a fourth cousin shouted, despite the fact he was only inches from my face. Sasuke immediately stepped between us, pushing the man back far enough to give me room to breathe. There were so many people; I could barely make out faces in the crowd. So many people, too many. Even with Sasuke enforcing my space, I felt trapped and panicky. 

“How many more of our clan will you replace with Uchiha before you’re satisfied?” a woman towards the back of the crowd demanded.

I saw my uncle come forth, his hand wrapped tightly around Kiui’s arm as he dragged her with him, his face as red as her hair (which was still in the sloppy, angled cut from the last time I’d seen her). “My daughter came back from one of your council meetings with hair shorter than she had as a child! Is it not bad enough that you fly in the face of our traditions; must you corrupt my daughter as well?” Kiui wrenched her arm from his grip, glaring at him as she rubbed at the forming bruise. 

“Kiui cut her hair of her own damn volition!” I argued, ignoring the other shouts for now. “And she’s a grown woman, she doesn’t have to answer to you and your demands. My hair was an accident, but Kiui and my other cousins knew the shit I’d get for it _from my own family_ and cut their own hair in solidarity. Regardless, you have no right to dictate what I do with my hair. Nor do you have that right with any other woman – especially your daughter!” 

I turned back to the crowd, arms spread wide to shield Itachi from them. “And apparently none of you were paying attention to Tsunade’s announcement. The criminal here is Danzo, not Itachi.”

“He’s still the one who killed his clan!” a cousin with a baby on her hip argued. “What’s to say he won’t kill us?”

“What reason would he have to kill us?” I shot back.

Another womanly voice shouted, “What reason did he have to kill his own clan?” 

“Do you have feathers in your ears?! Danzo ordered the massacre. He forced Itachi to kill them.”

“Why would Danzo-sama order such a thing?” 

“Because he’s a bigoted asshole, just like you lot!” 

An offended gasp reached my ears. “You can’t say that!”

“What else to you expect me to say?” I demanded, fists shaking by my side as I attempted to meet each set of eyes in turn – an impossibility I was well aware of. “You hate Sasuke because he’s an Uchiha. You hate Kakashi and Iruka because they’re not from the clan, which is frankly hypocritical considering you’re perfectly happy to accept Daisuke, Chouko, and any other clan outsider who wants to marry into the clan. You hate Itachi because of what Danzo made him do _when he was a child._ You hate me because I don’t meet some impossible, silent standard you’ve all set for me. You hate me because I acted against a man who sexually assaulted me. You hate me because I acted against a man who did not respect my ruling as clan head. You hate me because I am kind to those outside the clan. I wouldn’t be fucking surprised if you hate me because I’m a young woman in a position of power. A position I was always going to inherit, and yet the moment I do you turn against me! I can’t fucking win with you people!

“At least the Raven Sage believes in me.” 

Somehow, out of all the things I’d said, that last line was what got their attention. 

“How would you know?” a particularly distant aunt scoffed. “The Raven Sage hasn’t been summoned since Tsuru-sama’s time.”

“I summoned him not even a week ago,” I informed her shortly, crossing my arms and drawing myself up to my full height, towering over the woman. 

“Prove it,” she challenged. 

I smirked. Well, didn’t this just take a fortunate turn. “Fine. Best back up. I’d rather you not yell at me for getting all of you crushed.”

“Do you have the chakra for this?” Iruka asked, his voice just edging on concerned. “You did just summon Yorunosuke just a few moments ago.” 

I turned to send him a wicked grin. “I’ve always got the chakra to prove a bunch of assholes wrong.” 

I dabbed at my lip, gathering up some congealing blood from my summoning earlier. I made my way through the hand signs, slowly this time – for the dramatics of it. I slammed my hands on the ground, pouring in as much chakra as the seal would take, begging and pleading in my mind for Shinonome to answer. If with this one action, I could finally get my detractors off my back, then it was worth the chakra exhaustion. 

I was all too lucky that Shinonome actually answered my call, appearing in a far-too-large cloud of smoke with his head held high. The crowd cowered and whispered in amazement at the sight of the towering, albino raven. No surprise, Kiku was the largest raven most of them had ever seen, and even he was only as large as a dog. 

“Kourubi-dono,” Shinonome greeted pleasantly, but I could hear the barely hidden edge in his voice. He could feel my frustration, my anger, though the jutsu, and had come ready to defend me. 

“Shinonome-sama,” I said with a nod. 

“Who has angered you, Kourubi-dono?” he asked, turning to look at the crowd over his shoulder in a way that was very disconcerting. “Was it this rabble?”

“Oh, I’m always angry about something or another,” I said mildly. “But yes, today it would be my clan. Apparently they still don’t like me and are very upset I’ve adopted another non-clan shinobi. And about my hair. They’re very upset about my hair.” 

“I will never understand you human’s obsession with hair,” Shinonome said, his tone sending a chill down my spine. “A bird will molt and lose their feathers but it does not make them any less of a bird. You lost your hair in an attempt to save the souls of two men who’d lost themselves to the cruelties of this world. If I were them, I’d be very proud of the kindness and self sacrifice their leader displays.” 

“But she still brought a criminal into our clan!” the same aunt from before argued. “No matter who ordered it, he still committed a massacre!” 

“Tsuru-dono committed many such massacres against the enemies of the Leaf during her time,” Shinonome informed her. “Whole villages slaughtered for the sake of the Leaf. No one left behind to pass on secrets, no one left to train to fight, no man, woman, or child spared lest they seek revenge. And yet, you all praised her. I see very little difference between the two.” 

“How can you say that?” my uncle shouted. He flinched back when Shinonome rounded on him, leaning down to be face-to-face with my uncle.

“Because I am not blinded by nostalgia for a time that was never particularly kind to any one,” he said. “You all cling to your traditions and memories, while a fine young woman with heart and courage stands before you with a hand extended and her eyes on a better future.” He stood upright, staring out over my clan. When he spoke, his voice carried over them and passed the walls. “The only things in this world that remain the same are birth and death. Life, my friends, is change. Those who cannot accept that die in agony. That is the way of animals, and humans are animals, though you often like to forget that.

“There is a shortage of kindness in this world.” Shinonome turned to gaze at me, his eyes softening. “You could all do with following Kourubi-dono’s example. We corvids remember those who were kind to us well. I would hope you humans are the same way.” 

He suddenly turned to Kiui, who stiffened under his gaze. “I thank you, nestling, for your courage and your loyalty. It seems the clan is lacking in such things these days.” 

Kiui shrugged, turning away from Shinonome’s heavy gaze in an attempt to look casual. “She’s a good kid. She’s never deserved the shit she’s gotten. People just don’t like it when the system gets called out for being bullshit.” 

“Indeed.” Shinonome didn’t bother returning to his full height before turning to me, bumping me slightly with his beak in what I assumed was meant to be an affectionate gesture. “You are loved, Karasuno Kourubi. If not by your clan, then by mine. Remember that.”

I reached up and stroked the brilliant white feathers of Shinonome’s chin. I couldn’t help but feel unworthy of his words. I wasn’t really that kind, or that brave. Just stupid, and reckless, and endlessly selfish. “Thank you, my friend.” 

He disappeared the same way he appeared, leaving a heavy silence behind him. My clansmen stared in awe. Or maybe it was in horror, it was hard to tell. 

“Perhaps now you will show my daughter the same respect you have shown her predecessors.” I jumped at the sound of my father’s voice. When had he gotten here? I turned to face him, his face stony and cold like I’d never seen before. His gaze fell on my uncle, who flinched under the glare. “I expected better of you, Kiji. What would grandmother think of you, dragging your daughter through the streets like she’s a criminal? What would she think of the way you spoke to my daughter, your niece and clan head?” My uncle said nothing, so my father turned to address the rest of the clan that had gathered. “I have stood by silently long enough. I thought, perhaps, you all just needed time to adjust to new leadership. But it seems I was wrong. Just know, anyone who speaks ill of my daughter will answer to me.” 

He wrapped an arm about my shoulders and led me into the house, my brothers and significant others just behind me. I flinched as he slammed the door in their faces, one last, resounding sound of finality. 

“It’s strange how they seem to care more about the opinion of a summon than they do their clan leader,” Itachi said, a curious lilt to his voice. 

My father sighed, running shaking fingers through his hair. “Angering a summon like Shinonome-sama can easily lead to the clan contract being broken. If he feels we’re not worthy…then we lose the core of our clan identity. It’s a frightening prospect.”

“So they’re not going to treat me with respect because they actually respect me, but because they’re scared of Shinonome revoking our contract,” I muttered, feeling significantly less triumphant than I expected to. “Fantastic.” 

“I think I prefer this than you getting no respect at all,” Sasuke said, a thoughtful look in his eyes.

I frowned. “I don’t know if I do.” 

 

“Who are you taking as your plus one to Hanako-sama’s wedding?” kaa-san asked over dinner. 

“Plus one?” Sasuke echoed. 

“Wedding invitations usually are for you and one other person,” I explained. “In case you have a spouse or significant other you want to bring along. It’s not really a requirement that you bring one, if you don’t have one.” 

Sasuke hummed thoughtfully, resting his chin in his hand. “I don’t really have anyone to bring. Sakura already has an invitation, and she’s really the only person I can think of that I’d want to take with me.” 

“What about Itachi?” I asked.

Itachi blinked owlishly at me. “What about me?” 

“I don’t know, I’m sure Hanako would be happy to see you again,” I said. “Plus, I bet Mei will be bringing Kisame.”

“Why do you think that?” Kakashi asked, eyeing me curiously.

I shrugged. “Well, Kiri hasn’t really had much to do with the Land of Flowers the past few years, they’re too far inland to request the services of Kiri shinobi. But, Kisame has already met Hanako, and she seems to like him a lot. Bringing someone to the wedding that the queen already likes would only earn you brownie points, which is something Mei desperately wants, especially if she’s trying to change the global perception of Kiri.” 

“You don’t think she’d be worried about losing Kisame to the Land of Flowers?” Itachi asked.

Iruka frowned. “Why would she lose Kisame to Hanako?” 

“Kisame made a joke about staying last time we were there,” I said. “Which I can’t imagine is something he’d bring up to Mei.”

Itachi seemed to agree, taking a sip of his soup rather than say anything else. 

Sasuke turned to his brother. “Would you want to come with us?”

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt,” Itachi mused noncommittally. “If Tsunade-sama doesn’t object.” 

“I mean… Konoha will probably have the largest procession there. I’m sure Tsunade won’t mind having one more super powerful ninja along to show off to the other nations that will be there. She’d probably be more upset if we tried to bring a Hyuuga along, considering the fact that Kumo will definitely be there.”

“But wouldn’t you rather take Iruka-sensei along?” Itachi asked.

I smirked at him. “You make it sound like we don’t have three separate invitations, each of them allowing for a plus one. We are definitely taking Iruka.”

“If I can find someone to cover my classes and my shifts at the mission desk,” Iruka said, cutting me off before I got too excited.

“Iruka, you cover for everyone under the sun when it comes to classes and mission desk shifts,” Kakashi reminded him. “Everyone and their cat owes you a favor. If you can’t find someone who’s willing to let you go to a damn wedding, I’ll be amazed. And Kourubi will riot.” 

“Just a little,” I teased. I was far more comfortable joking about my anger issues than confronting them with any meaningful conversation. God knows what would happen if any of them actually tried. I’d probably cry. A lot. Just…buckets of tears. At the minimum. 

“Seems you just got back home and you’re already talking about leaving again,” kaa-san said with a sigh. 

“After this I’m going back to the Archive,” I promised. “Probably won’t be leaving the village for a long while.” If Tsunade was even okay with me leaving the village. After all the shit I spouted off in front of Mei and the others, I wondered if she’d trust me to go on a mission ever again. 

Probably not. I wouldn’t.


	45. In Which I Feel Small

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hells yeah, I back after kicking Nanowrimo's ASS! Second year in a row, baby! Anyway, I hope y'all are excited to see Hanako again, even though we saw her not too many chapters ago. I just really love her and the Land of Flowers. Second best thing I added to the world. First best would be Kourubi and her clan :P

The day we were to leave for Hanako’s wedding came almost too quickly. Despite the fact that weeks had passed, it seemed like it was only yesterday I’d brought Itachi home. Time was moving too fast for my taste, yet still not quickly enough. Naruto’s return was still so far away.

I’d spent the vast majority of my time at home, watching over Itachi’s acclimation to his new situation. He was quiet most of the time, keeping to himself save for family meals. I couldn’t help but feel he was uncertain what to do with himself not only now that he was back, but now that he’d been taken from active duty. He’d been a shinobi practically all his life, more so than most others. He didn’t know what else to be. 

He seemed honestly surprised that Tsunade didn’t send him home when we arrived at the gate to leave for the Land of Flowers. Perhaps because she was busy enough rounding up all of the guests (Gai and Lee were particularly excited…was that Yu-san Lee brought with him?), or perhaps because she felt it was fine since I was the one that was supposed to keep an eye on him. 

Carriages had arrived the night before, or so I’d been told. I’d never ridden in a carriage before, but I was grateful for them now. There were far too many people for us to simply ninja run the whole way. Someone was bound to get lost. Besides, I’d rather not have to carry Hanako’s wedding present the whole way. 

The carriages themselves were plain-looking things: not terribly large and made of some sort of pale wood. The Hokage’s was painted with wisteria blossoms, reminding me of the village’s gates. The seats inside were plush and covered with burgundy velvet that was soft to the touch. Things like this were built with every comfort in mind, as they should be, seeing as they were used to travel long distances at a far slower pace than shinobi were used to. 

“There’s only room for three in here,” Iruka said, pointing out the thing that everyone had already noticed but hadn’t felt like mentioning. 

“Nii-san and I will just ride with Sakura,” Sasuke decided with a shrug. 

Itachi glanced towards Tsunade as Hayate helped her into her own carriage alongside Tenzo. “I’m fairly certain the Hokage would prefer if I stayed with Kourubi-san.” 

“Well, the Hokage will just have to accept the limitations of our situation,” I said, shrugging casually. “There’s not a hell of a lot we can do about this and I am not sending off one of my boyfriends to ride in a different carriage. Sasuke and Sakura are perfectly capable of ‘looking after you’ for a while.”

Someone shouted for everyone to get settled so we could get moving, and I watched with much amusement as Sakura physically dragged Itachi towards a still-empty carriage, effectively ending the argument. 

I climbed into the carriage, sitting between my two boys. It was indeed very comfortable, and I was happy for the legroom that the single bench of seats afforded me. I was something of a restless sitter – I moved my feet a lot, possibly to make up for the lack of movement I had the room for otherwise. Still…didn’t carriages generally have two benches? 

The driver appeared at the still open door, a pleasant smile on his young face. “Is everyone comfortable?” He didn’t wait for us to reply before carrying on. “We likely won’t have many inns on the way, so at night, if you just push here – ” He pushed at the top of a strangely padded section of the wall, causing it to swing out a bit. “Then the wall will come out and meet your seat, making a bed. If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask.” 

“I have never been in something so fancy in my entire life,” Iruka whispered, almost awed at the whole mess. 

I laughed. “Well, that just won’t do. I’ll have to take you somewhere fancy for your birthday. A nice onsen somewhere far away from the classroom and the mission desk.” 

Kakashi eyed me, a teasing look in his eye. “You know, I didn’t take you for that kind of woman.” 

“Call me a sugar mama and I smack you,” I warned. “Besides, I’m pretty sure that term only works if I’m older than you. And I’m most certainly not.”

Kakashi groaned. “Don’t remind me. Kurenai gave me shit for weeks after she heard we got together.” 

Iruka shifted in his seat, an uncomfortable look on his face. He’d probably gotten similar lectures. It was probably worse, seeing as he was an academy instructor. It never looked good when a teacher dated someone younger than them – even though I was only about four years younger and had never been one of Iruka’s students.

“Least you’re not Genma?” I said, trying to be helpful. Genma was about three years older than Kakashi, which made his and Ryou’s gap even larger. “Besides, I was nineteen when we got together, that’s not that young.” 

“’Not that young’ she says,” Iruka grumbled, rolling his eyes skyward. 

“Says the man who was a teacher at sixteen,” I shot back. “While sitting in a carriage with a man who was promoted to chunin at age 6. Don’t talk to me about this society and age. I was an adult when I made my decision to date you, and that’s that.” 

There was a pause – a long, awkward silence – and I frowned. “Is…is that something you worry about? Our age difference?” It wasn’t something we often talked about. Kaa-san never even once brought it up when I was floundering about trying to confess my feelings, and she didn’t often let things that bother her go unsaid. Sasuke didn’t like the fact I was dating Kakashi, but I had a feeling that had nothing to do with our age and more to do with Kakashi’s lackadaisical personality. 

“Not usually,” Kakashi admitted. “But when it’s brought up…” He trailed off, but I got his meaning. It wasn’t exactly something you could just explain away – especially the gap between Kakashi and I. Four years was one thing, seven years was another entirely. 

“People who mind don’t matter, and people who matter don’t mind,” I recited, earning curious looks from both men. “If kaa-san doesn’t think it’s a big deal, I can’t imagine it actually is.” 

“She doesn’t?” Iruka asked, looking like I’d just told him cats don’t like fish. 

I shook my head. “Never even brought it up. I remember…when she was helping me get ready for our first date… our second date? Doesn’t matter. Anyway, she said, ‘the life of the shinobi is usually short and miserable. One must take advantage of the happiness they have’. We’d been talking about the fact that I wanted to be with both of you, but I guess the same logic applies to other the other quirks of our relationship.” 

Iruka stared at me contemplatively. I could feel Kakashi’s eye on me as well. There was another long silence, less heavy than the one before. Finally, Iruka smiled. “I think I’m starting to get where you get your penchant for nuggets of wisdom.” 

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. Look, let’s not worry about this. We’re going to a wedding! I’m sure over-analyzing the minutiae of your love life when you’re going to a wedding is bad luck or something.” 

“Well, we don’t want that,” Kakashi teased, slouching a little in his seat like he was more than happy to drop the conversation. I couldn’t blame him. I didn’t want to talk about it either – like how I didn’t want to talk about my anger issues. I didn’t want to talk about a lot of things…and I was supposed to be the open one in our relationship. Ha. 

 

We didn’t stop until nightfall. There were no villages nearby, nor were there any inns – just a long stretch of road in front of us, and dense forest on either side. Unable to pull the carriages into the woods, we were forced to simply pull them onto the edge of the road. 

“This is incredibly unsafe,” Noboru-sensei muttered as he watched the drivers tie their horses to one of the nearby trees before running off with some buckets to go find water. “Bandits patrol these main roads religiously.” 

“And they’ll be very surprised when they find these fancy carriages full of highly trained shinobi,” Gai assured him, patting Noboru-sensei on the back in a way that seemed surprisingly gentle for Gai. He seemed more like a man who’d accidentally use too much strength and end up knocking someone over. But perhaps being a taijutsu master included learning never to be accidental with your body. 

“Karasuno.” I turned at the sharp sound of my name to see Tsunade standing at the edge of the woods. “Come with me.”

Confused, I followed diligently, noting that neither Hayate nor Tenzo followed, despite the fact the only reason they were here was to be Tsunade’s bodyguards. 

“What’s wrong, Tsunade-sama?” I asked the minute we were out of sight of the others.

Tsunade huffed. “I’m not having two men along to watch me go to the bathroom.” 

Oh. Well, yeah, I could understand that. I was the highest-ranking kunoichi present, so it made sense that I was the one who had to go with Tsunade in this instance. 

The woods were dark, with only the barest hint of moonlight peeking through the overlapping branches, even though they were void of leaves so near the changing of autumn to winter. The air was light and cold; if it were bright enough, I would surely be able to see my breath. 

I waited for Tsunade as she ducked around a tree, staring up at the small patches of starry sky I could see through the branches. Even this far from Konoha, the woods were dense with giant trees. I felt infinitely small next to them – in this microcosm of the universe, where everything was infinite and vast and so much larger than myself. One could get lost here, metaphorically and literally. This was a place where your thoughts felt so much louder. 

“Careful, or all those grinding gears will catch the attention of the forest spirits.”

I jumped a little, turning to find Tsunade coming out from around her tree, wiping her hands on a wet kerchief. She must have gotten the water from a jutsu because there were no streams nearby. I must have really let my guard down if I hadn’t noticed her performing a jutsu. God, I was a horrible ninja. 

“Sorry,” I said. Despite the low volume of my words, they seemed to echo in the air. “Just…places like this make you really think. Places where you realize just how small you are. You know?” 

Tsunade looked almost concerned. “Don’t think too much, or you’ll end up getting lost in your own head.” 

“That’s just life, though, isn’t it?” I joked. 

“Maybe,” Tsunade hummed softly. 

We started walking back towards camp and I felt the need to speak up again. “May I ask you something, Tsunade-sama?”

Tsunade glanced over her shoulder at me, her face unreadable. “What?”

“Normally…when someone spills village secrets, they’re not just given a formal reprimand,” I said. “So why did I get away with just that?” 

Tsunade stopped suddenly, turning to face me. I stumbled back a step and nearly tripped over a root. I braced myself, unsure of what she’d say next.

“Did you leak Konoha battle formations?” she demanded.

Floored, I couldn’t help but stutter. “N-no?”

“Did you tell them our evacuation drills? Or the location of civilian safe houses?”

“Of course not!”

“Did you show them any of our secret techniques?”

I was starting to see what she was getting at. “No, ma’am.” 

I could barely see her smile in the low light, kind and gentle and almost motherly. “The reason, Karasuno Kourubi, is because the secret you spilled never should have been a secret in the first place.”

“Tsunade-sama?”

Her smile fell a little, taking on a wistful quality. “It was never a secret who my grandfather was. Nor who my great uncle was. My name as a Senju was never kept from anyone. Yet my grandfather and great uncle had just as many enemies as Namikaze Minato, if not more.” 

“You had a clan to protect you,” I reasoned.

There was a spark in Tsunade’s eye. “And Naruto should have had a village.” 

I felt so relieved, in that moment, that Tsunade had accepted the position of Hokage – that Jiraiya had said no and gone off to find her. 

I smiled at her. “This is why you’re _my_ Hokage.”

Tsunade tilted her head, curious at my statement. “Oh?”

“You _get_ it,” I said, trying to explain the best I could. “You see my frustration, my anger, and you understand where I’m coming from. ‘Cause you’ve felt it. There was a time where you hated the village, too. Hated it so much you had to leave it. Sometimes I wish I could do that, you know…since I can’t change it like I want to. I can’t make people be sorry for how they treated my brothers. I can’t make people care about others more, can’t make them act in good faith. I can’t even make my own clan listen to me without calling on Shinonome. But I can’t leave. I can’t. How could I? No one would come with me. I couldn’t bear to leave my loved ones behind – couldn’t bear to have them hate me for abandoning them.

“Sometimes I’m scared they’ll come to hate me anyway.” 

“Karasuno…”

“I’m not who they think I am,” I babbled on, unable to stop the words as they spilled out of me like blood from an open wound. “They’re starting to see that. I’m angry and stubborn and reckless and selfish and a liar. I’m such a liar. You were wrong Tsuande-sama. I can lie my ass off and no one even knows but I can’t keep a secret to save my life. Especially not when I’m angry. And I’m always angry. So _fucking angry –_ ”

Two small hands landed on my shoulders, shocking me from my tirade. I looked down at Tsunade, only just now realizing how much taller I was than her, to find her staring up at me with concern.

“Where on earth did all this self-loathing come from?” she asked, though it felt like she wasn’t so much asking me as the universe in general.

“I’ve always had it,” I admitted. “I’m just really good at pretending I don’t. Liar, remember?” 

“You are not a liar, Karasuno Kourubi!” Tsunade snapped. “Everyone has parts of them they don’t like, so they hide them away from the people they care about. That doesn’t make you a liar. It makes you a human being. Anger, resentment, selfishness, these are just part of being human. Anyone who says they don’t feel that way is lying to themselves. You, you feathered brat, are more honest than you give yourself credit for. At least you’re honest with yourself.

“But, you’re right. I do understand your anger with the village. But running away from it only made it worse. I should have stayed, should have fought harder. You are braver than I for staying even when you want to leave. You have your good points, too. Remember that when you find yourself falling into that self loathing again.” 

I could only nod. “Yes, ma’am.” 

 

It took as several days to reach the border of the Land of Flowers; I could smell the vast fields of flowers before I could see them. The scent was significantly less strong than the time we were here in spring, probably due to the lack of flowers that bloom in late autumn or early winter. There was already a light dusting of snow on the ground, and the wheels of our carriage crunched over it with a satisfying sound. I wrapped one of the blankets we used for sleeping around myself to stave off the chill, leaning into Iruka and his warmth. 

“Cold?” he asked, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer still. 

“Mmmm, a little,” I said, pulling my feet up to cover them with the blanket. “You’re warm, though.” I caught sight of Kakashi moving to lift my blanket. “Not you. You’re cold. Don’t touch me with your ice cube hands.” 

Kakashi paused a moment, meeting my eyes in a dead stare before ducking his hands under the blanket and wrapping them around my ankles. I squealed and tried to kick him off, but only ended up falling off the bench. “Owwwwwww.” 

“Everything alright back there?” our driver called, sounding only mildly concerned.

“Yes, we’re fine,” Iruka replied. “Some of us are just acting like children.” 

“Irrruuuukkkkaaaa,” I whined, climbing back up and planting myself right in Iruka’s lap. “Kakashi was mean to me!” 

“I know, I know,” Iruka cooed, barely keeping himself from laughing. “Such a mean ol’ jonin, making you fall like that.” 

“To be fair, she made herself fall with all that wiggling,” Kakashi pointed out. 

I glared at him, pointedly wrapping Iruka and I up in my blanket without him. “You’re sleeping on the goddamn couch when we get to the palace.” 

Kakashi looked genuinely horrified at the idea. “Kou-chan, no…”

“Don’t ‘Kou-chan’ me, you living ice cube. Warm up your hands before you touch me when it’s this cold out!”

“But the only way to warm them up fast enough is to touch you!” Kakashi sing-songed, wiggling his fingers at me suggestively. 

“I’ll kick you again,” I warned. 

“You didn’t kick him the first time,” Iruka said, rolling his eyes (though that didn’t stop him from wrapping his arms around me and pulling me more firmly into his lap).

“Shush.”

 

It was early evening when we finally made it through the gates of the village. Houses were decorated with banners sending well wishes to the queen and her husband-to-be. White ribbons hung from light posts, stretching across the roadway. It seemed down every residential street there was a party going on, music and laughter floating on the chilly air. I couldn’t remember seeing anything quite like it in my life, even though something in my gut insisted this was familiar somehow. 

The paved pathways just inside the palace gates were full to the brim with carriages, many identical to ours, but some were far more ornate. Those, I surmised, must belong to the daimyo and their entourages. I hoped the woman who I stabbed all those years ago hadn’t come along, though I likely wouldn’t recognize her even if she had. 

The driver stopped us right in front of the steps, hopping down to open the door for us. I saw Motohiro come running down the steps at our arrival, looking flustered and terribly overwhelmed. 

“Thank goodness, some friendly faces,” he said, then looked like he immediately regretted saying that out loud, glancing over his shoulder. “Welcome, welcome. It is good to see you again, Karasuno-san.”

“You as well, Motohiro-san,” I greeted in kind. “You look well and truly frazzled.” 

“Only a little,” Motohiro insisted with a forced smile. He then turned said smile to Tsunade as she exited her carriage. “And many warm welcomes to you, Hokage-sama. I trust your journey was a comfortable one?” 

“Yes, we appreciate your generosity in providing for our transport,” Tsunade said. It was rare I got to see Tsunade in purely political settings. Seeing her put on an overly polite mask was a strange sight indeed.

“Wonderful,” Motohiro said, relief obvious in his voice. It made me wonder what had happened with the other guests. “Please allow me to escort you to your rooms.” 

A score of maids appeared behind him, almost like shinobi would, and gathered our things up. One tried to take Kurosuke from Mai, but she and the baby bear growled in tandem, and the woman immediately backed off. 

“You brought a bear to a wedding?” I heard Noboru ask incredulously.

“Ryou brought a baby,” Mai replied flatly, as if the two were remotely the same. 

“Lee brought his civilian date mate,” Ryou said, as if that was worse somehow.

“His what?!” Oh, seemed I wasn’t the only one who kept their relationships secret from Noboru-sensei.

“To be fair, I don’t think they’re actually dating,” Genma said over Umeko’s excited squeals. 

“Why did Lee bring Yu-san?” I asked, sliding over to join the conversation.

Sensei looked sheepish. “Well, I told him it probably wasn’t a good idea to bring Neji along, since there was sure to be a delegation from Kumo here. And he didn’t want to bring along Tenten if Neji couldn’t come too, so he asked if he could bring a civilian friend. I didn’t know he was talking about a girlfriend.” 

“Not a girlfriend,” I corrected. “Yu-san doesn’t use male or female pronouns, so I’m pretty sure it’s unfitting to call them Lee’s girlfriend.” 

“Plus, they’re not actually dating,” Genma insisted. “Ryou would have told me if they were.” 

“If Ryou knew they were dating,” Mai said flatly. “Still, bringing a friend is not nearly as weird as bringing a baby.”

“Toddler,” Ryou corrected. “And how is that weirder than bringing a bear?”

Sensei looked to me pleadingly. “Please tell me you didn’t bring anything unorthodox to the wedding.”

I stared him dead in the eye. “I brought a known mass murderer.” 

Noboru threw his hands up with a gargled sound of defeat. 

We followed Motohiro to a set of very familiar rooms. Seemed Hanako had decided that these rooms were just ours. It didn’t seem to matter the context of the visit or how many other people happen to be there. Which suited me just fine. With all the other Hidden Villages present, the situation was a bit tense. It was good to have that bit of the familiar to combat that. 

Motohiro then led us down to a large, ornate ballroom, fancier than any other room in the palace I’d seen. The polished marble reflected our faces back at us; the molding was covered in gold leaf; the ceiling was painted with some historical scenes I didn’t recognize – likely events from the country’s past. At the far end, just behind a raised platform where an ornate chair stood, was a larger-than-life portrait of Hanako from just after her coronation – I recognized her gown and the deceptively delicate looking crown upon her head. 

Tables piled high with fancy finger foods covered a good half of the ballroom, the other having been kept clear to provide a space for something. Probably dancing – this was a ballroom after all. I could see Suzukaze mingling with the guests, his green hair something of a standout feature. I couldn’t see Hanako, however…save for the giant portrait, but that didn’t count. 

“Should we eat?” Yu asked in a small voice, unsure of what to do. Then again, considering we were all just sort of standing in the doorway, I wasn’t sure if any of us knew what to do. 

“Might as well,” Tsunade said. “Try not to cause any international incidents, please.” 

We meandered out into the ballroom, splitting off into small groups. I kept Itachi close to me. Even if Konoha had taken Itachi out of their Bingo Book (possibly, I wasn’t sure if they’d updated it yet), it was more than likely he was still wanted in other nations for various different things. 

We huddled around one of the tables, keeping an eye on the mingling as we filled our bellies with hors d'oeuvres and tiny desserts. It seemed all the shinobi had sequestered themselves off in their own little groups; only the civilian nobility were actually talking. I could see Suzukaze’s forced smile through his mask, the poor thing. He was not built for dealing with the pomp and circumstance of nobility the way Hanako was. 

My eyes drifted over to Itachi, whose gaze was very pointedly set on the delegation from Kiri. Which, as a matter of fact, did include Kisame – who was meeting Itachi’s stare without flinching.

“God, please stop eye fucking in the middle of the ballroom, please,” I groaned under my breath. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Itachi said, his gaze never leaving his old partner. 

I rolled my eyes. “Of course you don’t.” 

A woman was making her way towards Noboru-sensei and Gai, who’d set up shop at the edge of the ‘dance floor’ with Lee and Yu-san. She seemed to be in quite the hurry, despite the fact she also seemed to hover just out of sight of them. That was, until Gai was led away by Yu and Lee towards the back of the ballroom towards a table of drinks. Then, she pounced, her familiar voice – reedy and sickly sweet – reaching my ears and filling my stomach with dread. 

“Noboru-san,” she crooned, wrapping herself around sensei’s arm and clinging like a limpet. “It’s been such a long time.”

I could see sensei stiffen under her touch, his face draining of color. “Hello to you as well, Takenoko-sama. It certainly has.” 

I glanced around, trying to find my teammates. Ryou was nowhere in sight, and neither was Genma to help me locate him. Motohiro, who seemed to be grilling Mai about something, probably her bear, was currently monopolizing her. They wouldn’t be able to help right now. I went back to watching Takenoko and Noboru-sensei. The moment I noticed one of her long, milky pale hands reach down towards sensei’s lower back I was moving.

“Back me up,” I hissed over my shoulder. I was lucky that Itachi and my boys did in fact follow after me. Perhaps Kakashi and Iruka had taken Tsuande’s words to heart. 

Noboru was trying desperately to subtly put distance between himself and the noble woman – Takenoko or whatever her name was. Distressingly enough, this only seemed to spur her on, like it added to the game of it. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of Gai coming back with Yu and Lee, drinks in their hands. I could only hope to intercede before they returned. My hands clenched into fists when I saw Noboru flinch as Takenoko’s hand landed on his ass.

“Takenoko-san!” I greeted loudly, not bothering to use the proper honorific. She turned at the sound, and what color she had immediately drained from her face. I smiled, the kind of smile that made every word a threat. “Ah, it seems you do remember me. That’s wonderful. Then you remember what happened last time you put your hands on my sensei.”

My voice was loud enough to pull Tsunade and Suzukaze-san’s attention away from their conversation. The two of them turn to watch, but didn’t intervene, twin looks of interest on their faces. Takenoko looked around desperately, possibly searching for the daimyo. Not that he was going to come to her rescue. The man was known to be fickle and easily entertained by in-fighting. He’d likely stand back and watch the whole thing, only stepping in once the onlookers had been convinced of either side’s wrongdoing. 

“What are you doing here?” Takenoko demanded shrilly. “Why weren’t you thrown in jail where you belong, you stab-happy menace?”

“Oh, no one was going to throw the twelve-year-old heir to one of Konoha’s great shinobi clans into jail for something so minor as that,” I explained sweetly, smile never wavering. 

“Minor?” she screeched, never once removing herself from Noboru-sensei’s space. “I still have the scar from it!”

“Yeah, you know…” I tilted my head to the side, my scar catching the light. “I wouldn’t talk to a shinobi about scars.” 

Her dark, beady eyes locked onto my scar, a nasty smirk twisting her painted lips. “Ha! How do you expect to win yourself a husband with a thing like that marring your face? A shame, too. You were almost pretty.”

I could feel Kakashi step closer, but it was Iruka’s arm that went around my waist. I met Takenoko’s falling smirk with one of my own. “Yeah, funny thing about that.”

I stepped forward, away from the safety of Kakashi and Iruka and into her space. “Now, I suggest you unhand my sensei. Because if I or his boyfriend have to remove your hand ourselves, I can’t promise that you’ll keep it.” 

Her pale face flushed furiously. “Boyfriend?” 

“Noboru?” Our attention collectively snapped towards Gai, who looked less than pleased by what he’d stumbled on to. “Who is this woman, beloved?” 

Noboru, perhaps finally feeling comfortable enough to fight back now that he had decent back up, yanked his arm out of Takenoko’s grip. “A nuisance, sweetheart, nothing more.” He met the woman’s gaping, flustered expression with one of cold disinterest. “I may have tolerated your advances before, but that was only for the sake of the mission. Here, free of contractual obligation, I will not stand for it. Keep your hands off me. And if I see you attempting to molest any other Konoha shinobi, know that you’ll be walking away with a new, far more obvious scar.” 

Takenoko’s face twisted into a terrifying mask of rage and embarrassment. “How dare –” 

“Is there a problem?”

The whole room went silent as Hanako swept in, dressed to the nines in a gown of white and dark red, the color bringing out the pink in her pastel hair. Her dark eyes were hard and cold like the silvery metal of the crown upon her head. 

“Hanako-sama, thank goodness you’ve arrived,” Takenoko said, her voice saccharine and sniveling. “This…heathen is threatening me! Have her removed at once!”

Hanako turned to me, a curious look in her eyes. She smiled regally. “I’m sure Kourubi-san would not do such a thing without good reason.”

Takenoko gaped in shock and horror as I smiled beatifically at the queen, like one would an old friend. “Well, Your Majesty, it just so happens that my team and I have some rocky history with Takenoko-san here. Seems she really likes touching Noboru-sensei in ways that are neither appropriate nor welcome. And it seems she did not learn her lesson from last time she did this, despite the fact that the scar is a very permanent reminder.” 

“I see,” Hanako turned her attention back to Takenoko, who flinched under the cool gaze. “Well, Takenoko-san, what do you have to say to that?”

Takenoko sputtered as she tried to find her words. “Wh-whatever I did, it didn’t warrant being stabbed in the hand!” 

“Perhaps,” Hanako mused. “Or perhaps it warranted far worse. I do not take kindly to those who abuse their positions of power to force themselves onto others, Takenoko-san. Please remove yourself from Noboru-san’s presence at once. If I hear that you have laid hands on any other guest, I will have you removed from the palace. Am I clear?” 

“O-of course, Your Majesty,” Takenoko said, stepping away from us with a low bow. She shot me one last glare before vanishing into the crowd.

Hanako watched her leave with thinly veiled disdain. Once the woman was out of sight, she turned back to me with a fond smile.

“It’s never dull with you around, Kourubi-san.” She came forward and wrapped me up in a hug, earning confused stares from the other delegations. “Welcome back. I’m glad you were able to make it.”

“Hanako-sama, I wouldn’t miss your wedding for the world,” I said. And I meant it. Though I’d only seen her a few times, I couldn’t help but count Hanako as a dear friend. I really wouldn’t have missed her wedding for anything, if I could help it.

Hanako continued to smile radiantly as she turned to the others in our party. “And it’s good to see you as well, Kakashi-san, Iruka-san. And Itachi-san, too. I was worried you would not be allowed to come.” She turned to Noboru-sensei, her expression concerned. “I do hope you’re alright, Noboru-san. If it makes you feel better, I can have her removed now.”

Sensei shook his head. “That won’t be necessary, Your Majesty, but I appreciate the offer.”

She nodded, her eyes lighting up as she turned to Gai. “And you must be Gai-san! Noboru-san and Lee-kun have told me so much about you. It’s good to meet you at last.” 

Gai bowed deeply, almost spilling the drinks in his hands. “It is an honor to meet a queen as youthful and kind as yourself, Hanako-sama. Thank you for coming to my beloved Noboru’s aid.” 

“It’s the least I can do to repay his own efforts to protect me,” Hanako said, brushing aside his praise with more grace then I’d ever seen. 

“Hanako-sama!” Hanako turned to Lee, apparently unfazed by his sudden excited shouting. “This is Yu-san, a dear friend of mine.”

Her face lit up in delight as Yu dipped a small bow, their face a shy pink. “It’s wonderful to meet you. Lee-kun is lucky to have a friend as adorable as you.”

Yu stuttered out a thank you, their face turning an even darker pink at the praise. They ducked behind Lee, burring their blushing face in his shoulder. Lee simply smiled and squeezed their hand reassuringly. Hanako’s eyes twinkled at the display. 

“Hanako-sama!” Mai rushed up to us, Kurosuke in her arms and Motohiro not far behind. “It’s good to see you. Congratulations on the wedding. Please tell your doorman to leave Kurosuke alone.” 

Hanako blinked owlishly at the request, her eyes falling to the baby bear in Mai’s arms. “Oh, this must be Kurosuke! How adorable, you are. Was Motohiro-san being mean to you? I’m sorry. He means well, I promise. He’s just a bit fussy.”

“He kept asking if he was house trained,” Mai huffed, glaring over her shoulder at a very put out looking Motohiro. 

Hanako turned to her advisor, a placating smile on her lips. “I’m sure Mai-san would not have brought him if she thought he would do damage to the palace, Motohiro-san.”

Motohiro muttered something under his breath, but did not argue. 

“Now, where is Ryou-san?” Hanako asked. “Surely you didn’t leave him behind.”

“No, we brought him,” Mai assured her. “I just don’t know where he’s gone off to. Probably to either make out with his boyfriend or to deal with his toddler.”

“Toddler?” Hanako echoed, interest piqued. “Ryou-kun has a child?” 

“Technically, Genma has a child,” Noboru-sensei corrected.

“Fuck you, sensei, she’s my baby, too!” As if summoned by the mention of his name, Ryou appeared just behind Mai, Umeko in his arms and Genma at his side. 

“Watch the language, babe, I don’t want to get the news that Umeko’s been cursing out her classmates at daycare,” Genma warned, though it didn’t really sound like he meant it. 

Ryou simply rolled his eyes. He turned his attention to Hanako, who seemed absolutely charmed my Umeko. “Hanako-sama, I’d like to introduce you to my boyfriend, Genma. And this is our daughter, Umeko. Say hi to Hanako-sama, Umeko.”

“Hi,” Umeko whispered, waving shyly with her her tiny hand. 

“Hello, Umeko-chan, it’s very nice to meet you,” Hanako cooed, unquestionably delighted by Umeko’s shyness.

Umeko turned to Genma, eyes wide with wonder and curiosity as she pointed at Hanako. “Tou-chan, princess?”

Genma laughed lightly and shook his head. “No, sweetie, Hanako-sama is a queen. Can you say queen?”

“Keen?” 

“We’ll work on it.” 

“Seems like everyone is having fun over here,” Tsunade said as she came forwards with Suzukaze and her two guards. “It’s good to see you, Your Majesty. We are thankful that you extended the invitation to such a momentous occasion.” 

Hanako smiled serenely. “It is good to see you as well, Tsunade-dono. I must thank you, for assigning Kakashi-san and Noboru-san’s teams as my protectors all those months ago. I am eternally grateful for their protection and their companionship.” 

“Seems everyone is quite familiar with Her Majesty.” I stiffened at the gruff sound of the Fourth Raikage’s voice. The man towered over us, far taller than any man had a right to be. His muscles were more defined than most shinobi as well, looking more like a bodybuilder or a cage fighter than a shinobi. He truly was intimidating to behold, way more than any of the other kage – especially not the floating house elf that was the Tsuchikage. This…would not end well.

Hanako’s eyes lost their playful spark, turning hard and cold once more. She turned to A, her expression unwavering. “One would be familiar with those who spent many days risking their lives to protect them. And one would desire to remain unfamiliar with those who sent an assassin to kill them, wouldn’t you say…Raikage-dono?” 

A stiffened at her words. He looked ready to start shouting, but Hanako didn’t give him the chance. 

“Kourubi-san, do you remember that day on my journey home, when we came across the six assassins?” Hanako asked, her cold gaze never wavering as she stared the Raikage down.

Cautiously, I replied. “Of course I do, Hanako-sama.” 

“There were six assassins,” Hanako reiterated. “But only one of them came from one of the Five Great Shinobi Villages. Do you remember which one?”

Oh, I remembered. “Kumo, Your Majesty. The tracker hailed from Kumo.” 

Hanako leveled A with a stare so cold I thought the ground beneath her feat would frost over. “You, Raikage-dono, are only here because I did not wish to alienate the Lightning Daimyo. I have no fondness for the villages that answered my cousin’s call to assassinate me. I will see any fights you pick with the Konoha delegation as a personal affront. So you best be polite. Am I clear?”

“Perfectly, Your Majesty,” A hissed through gritted teeth, his fist shaking with the effort to keep himself in check. 

Hanako turned away from the Raikage, metaphorically slamming the door in his face. Her face was plastered with a forced smile, less for us and more for the Raikage. “Now, tell me, Kourubi-san, how was your journey? Pleasant, I hope. No Kumogakure assassins to make your travel difficult?” 

I waited until A stomped off with his two guards before I said anything. “Holy shit, Your Majesty, that was so badass.” 

Hanako let out a sigh of relief, resting a hand over her heart. “Oh, goodness, I’m glad. He’s such an imposing man, I thought I was going to faint.” 

Suzukaze wrapped a comforting arm around her waist, placing a kiss to her temple through his mask. “You did wonderfully, my dear.” 

“You’ve gotten very good at putting on queenly airs, Hanako-sama,” I said, mostly as a joke.

“Oh, please drop the ‘-sama,’” Hanako pleaded. “We’re friends here, and it would be nice to be able to talk to someone who doesn’t use it.” 

“I can’t very well drop the honorific if you insist on using one with me,” I teased. “That would be improper.” 

Hanako pouted, her cheeks turning red. “There are days where I would like throw whoever decided what was ‘proper’ out a window.” She looked at me, and I could feel the sincerity in her gaze. “Please, Kourubi, I’d rather my friends speak plainly with me.” 

“If that’s what you want…Hanako.” The lack of an honorific felt weird, but I wasn’t about to argue with a queen the night before her wedding. 

A playful smirk spread over Hanako’s face, immediately sending a feeling of dread down my spine. “If we’re talking about what I want…I expect a song for a wedding present.”

“Goddammit, Hanako!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know everyone has their Hokage. For some people it's Minato, for some it's Kakashi, for me it's Tsunade. Especially since writing MFAW. I just feel like she'd really be able to understand and connect with Kourubi in ways that no other Hokage (even Kakashi or Naruto) would be able to. I feel like Tsunade would see some of her younger self in Kourubi and Kourubi would find a bit of solace in Tsunade. 
> 
> Also, I got some new art! And I loved it so much I basically remade my blog around it (or at least the color palate). You can find it [here.](http://melodyfromanotherworld.tumblr.com/post/168166975278/aoki-art-traditional-commission-for) Please go send love to the artist, she's super sweet and super talented (and a super great cosplayer if you catch her at cons)! (She made Ryou hot enough to remind me that, yeah, if Ryou can convince a guy to follow him home without so many words, he's probably hot as hell)
> 
> Anyway, as always, let me know what you think in the comments down below. Ok, love you. Bai.


	46. In Which There is a Wedding

The day of the wedding arrived two days after we did. I spent the vast majority of that time avoiding any and all nobility other than Hanako and absolutely everyone from the Land of Lightning and the Land of Earth. After A’s little pissing match with Hanako, I figured avoiding them was the safest solution to the tension. Well…not ‘solution’ per se, but it kept fights from breaking out, so I called it a win. 

The wedding was held a giant-ass greenhouse that I did not remember seeing the last time I’d spent a significant time in Hanako’s company. I shuffled along in my furisode and geta (having been forced to learn how to walk in them once Kasasagi realized I was going to a royal wedding), eight large bolts of cloth in my arms. Motohiro greeted us outside the greenhouse, where he and a few maids were taking wedding presents from guests and guiding them to their proper seats. 

I handed the bolts over readily. “From the Karasuno clan with their blessings: four bolts of kimono-grade silk, each with a coordinated bolt of obi silk– to make a kimono for each season.” 

The maid that took them from me seemed honestly impressed, her expression falling back into one of bland impassiveness only after a cough from Motohiro.

“I am sure Her Majesty will be grateful for your gift,” Motohiro assured us. He stopped us when my companions and I made to sit with Tsuande-sama, who’d already made her way inside. “I beg your pardon, Karasuno Kourubi and company, but the Queen has asked a request of you. Team 3, Team 7, and their companions are to sit in place of the Queen’s family…as she has none and sees you all as her dearest friends.” 

I felt my stomach sink. That…seemed like a terrible idea. I was clan head, yes, but that meant nothing in the face of nobility and the Kage. I did not have the status to fill that seat. Someone else, someone far more important, should have it. But, I couldn’t bring myself to argue with Hanako’s wishes. She called us her dearest friends, how was I to say no to that?

“All of us?” I asked cautiously. There were quite a few of us: the original eight that escorted Hanako, Gai-sensei, Yu-san, Genma with little Umeko, Itachi, Iruka, not to mention Mai’s new bear summon. Would we all fit on the benches? 

Motohiro nodded seriously. “All of you. Come, I will escort you.” 

I exchanged a look with Mai and Ryou, pleading silently for some advice, or a way out. This was far more attention than I was hoping for. I had more than enough people watching my every move back home now, after everything that happened with Danzo and Itachi. I really did not want the eyes of the international community on me as well. Unfortunately, my friends wore the same deer-in-the-headlights look as I did. Damn. 

I smoothed the cape of white and golden feathers that Kasasagi had made specifically for this occasion, and we followed Motohiro down the rows of benches, earning stares from those we passed. Even Tsunade looked flummoxed when she saw us pass by the row she, Tenzo, Hayate, and the Fire Daimyo occupied. I shot her a panicked look, hoping she would understand this was most certainly not my idea. She seemed to understand, though she didn’t seem any less surprised. 

I specifically refused to sit on the end of the row, desperate to hide as much as possible. I could feel the eyes on me, curious and envious and suspicious and everything in between. The least I could do was keep them from getting a better view. Kakashi, thankfully, seemed to understand, and sat at the end of the bench, his larger frame blocking me from view. Iruka sat close on the other side, reaching out to take my hand and squeeze it gently. Sasuke sat on Iruka’s other side, fiddling nervously with the dangling feathers of the obidome that hung from his obi. Or at least I assumed it was out of nerves; he could very well be bored. Sasuke was far more used to having lots of eyes on him than I was. Everyone kept their eye on the Last Loyal Uchiha. Generally, I could pass along under the radar…or used to be able to. 

We waited in near silence as people continue to file into the greenhouse, which was sweltering. I was starting to regret the cape. I didn’t care if it was the only item of clothing I had that carried the clan head feathers; it was warm as hell, and I hated it. The quiet murmurs of the guests grew louder as someone came marching down the aisle. I turned and looked over my shoulder to see Suzukaze strolling towards the wedding arch, where a priest in heavy looking Shinto robes waited. He was dressed in something close to a suit, but also…not quite. The jacket had no buttons to speak of, nor could I see the tale-tell seam that gave away the presence of a zipper. It looked like something he just slipped over his head. The neck of the jacket…overshirt –whatever it was – was deep, showing off the brilliant red of his high-collared undershirt. His pants were the same deep black color as the overshirt. It was at that moment that I realized he hadn’t worn a mask. I’d been right: he was terribly handsome. The dimple in his cheek when he smiled at us was adorable, and I could understand, at least a little bit, why Hanako had fallen for him. 

There was the sudden sound of taiko drums, loud and thundering, and all the guests stood. I turned to stare down the aisle as the drums continued their almost heartbeat-like rhythm. My eyes widened as I got my first peek at Hanako in all her wedding day glory. We hadn’t had the chance to talk much after that first night, with all the preparation that needed to be seen to. She was gorgeous, as anyone would hope to look on their wedding day. Her hair was curled gently, gathered up in one of those fashionable half-up-half-down looks. Her usual silver crown was replaced with a crown of white flowers. Her dress was just as much of a mix of West and East as everything else in the Land of Flowers. It was almost as if she’d take an old furisode and folded the sleeves out of the way. She caught my eye as she passed, beaming at me. I smiled in return.

The guests returned to their seats as Suzukaze reached out to take Hanako’s hand and lead her closer to the wedding arch. The priest smiled gaily, raising his hands as he greeted those gathered. 

“Greetings, honorable guests, and welcome to this momentous occasion. Today is the day we celebrate the joining of our beloved Queen Hanako to Fujimura Suzukaze.” 

He reached behind him, towards a small altar that had been set up many hours before and the two small, golden sakazuki cups that had been left there. He passed one to Hanako, who took it gently in her hands, and the other to Suzukaze, who seemed almost nervous when he took hold of the cup. The priest took the flask of sake and poured the alcohol into each cup until it was nearly full. 

He whispered something to them, and Hanako and Suzukaze each took a tiny sip of the sake from their own cups. 

Next, the priest began to chant some prayer that I did not recognize, and reached once more for the altar behind him. When he turned back to Hanako and Suzukaze, he had a red sash in his hands.

“Let this cloth represent your bond,” the priest said, his voice carrying through the still, silent room. “Soft, but strong. Unassuming, but all-consuming.” He slowly wrapped the cloth around Hanako and Suzukaze’s wrists, binding them together. “The sakazuki represent your selves, the sake inside them your spirit. Now, as you have shared your souls, please share your sake.” 

Hanako and Suzukaze held out the cups to each other, carefully tipping them upwards to allow their partner a drink. It was a terribly delicate dance – not high enough and the sake would not move, but too high and the sake would spill all over your partner. Though…I supposed in that way it was the perfect metaphor for a relationship. 

They drank until the cups were empty, at which point the priest took them and set them down on the altar behind him. In their place, he handed each of them a golden ring. 

“Rings, round and eternal, shall be the lasting symbol of your union. Hanako-sama, if you would…”

She took the golden ring and slid it onto Suzukaze’s finger. “With this ring, unending like my love for you, I take you as my husband, my partner in all things. My soul is yours, and yours is mine, until the end of our days and even into the next life.”

Suzukaze’s throat bobbed nervously as he took the other ring and slipped it on Hanako’s finger, echoing her words. “With this ring, unending like my love for you, I take you as my wife, my partner in all things. My soul is yours, and yours is mine, until the end of our days and even into the next life.” 

The priest nodded, obviously pleased. He carefully untied the red cloth from Hanako and Suzukaze’s wrists. “Honorable guests, I present to you Her Majesty, Queen Hanako, and her Consort, Prince Suzukaze. Long may they reign!” 

Cheers erupted from the back of the greenhouse where several of the guards and servants had gathered to watch the ceremonies. The nobility and Kage were far more subdued in their reaction, more akin to the polite applause one would hear from other parents during a graduation ceremony. I didn’t whoop and holler like I might have at a more casual wedding, but I clapped far louder than the nobles around me. 

Hanako and Suzukaze walked back down the aisle together, beaming at everyone. Motohiro came to the front and waved his hands to get everyone’s attention.

“If you all would be so kind as to make your way towards the Winter Garden, we will hold the reception there.” 

As we filed out of the greenhouse (and I pointedly ignored any looks the nobility and foreign shinobi sent my way), I realized something. I frowned, and made a small noise of confusion, catching Kakashi’s attention.

“What’s wrong, Kou-chan?”

“Oh, well, this will probably sound silly but…they didn’t kiss at the end.” I wracked my brain trying to remember if Kasasagi and Daisuke had kissed at their wedding ceremony. I was fairly confident they had. “I thought the newlyweds were supposed to kiss at the end of the ceremony.”

“Not at noble weddings.” I turned to look at Ryou, who seemed terribly uncomfortable – his hand wrapped tightly around Genma’s and his gaze intensely focused on the ground. “Kisses at the end of weddings are for those who marry for love. Most nobles… do not.” His breath caught in his throat, like he was trying to keep himself from crying. “It was pretty revolutionary that the priest mentioned love at all. I’m sure if Hanako were to marry Suzukaze in a more private setting with just their close friends and family, they would have kissed. But this was a wedding that was mostly for show, like all noble weddings are. There was never going to be any kissing.” 

That just seemed terribly tragic – both the very idea and Ryou’s reaction to it. 

“But Hanako did marry for love,” Yu-san pointed out gently. 

“Yes, and as a queen, she’s very lucky that she could do that,” Ryou said, his grip on Genma’s hand tightening. “Most noble ladies do not have that luxury…and neither do the children of the families that work to take that luxury away.” 

Genma pulled at Ryou’s hand, bringing them closer so he could whisper something probably reassuring in his ear. Yu looked concerned, turning to us like they wanted to ask if they’d done something wrong. Noboru reached out and set a comforting hand on their shoulder.

“Don’t worry, Yu-kun. Ryou’s upbringing gives him a different insight on these sorts of things than the rest of us. He’s in a much better place now than he used to be.” 

Whatever Genma said to him must have worked (either that or Ryou was burying his feelings to keep people from worrying again), because Ryou bounced back fairly quickly.

“Alright, enough of that. This is our friend’s wedding! It’s a happy occasion!” Ryou said with far more enthusiasm than was necessary and therefore proving to all of us that this was another mask he was putting on. “And more importantly, an occasion to get drunk as hell. Woo!”

He walked a little faster, pulling Genma (and by extension, the drowsy Umeko he carried) past us. I could have sworn I heard Genma whisper ‘you’re not fooling anyone,’ followed by Ryou’s hissed ‘I know that.’ 

Mai watched them go, a curious twinkle in her eye. “They’re good for each other.”

I hummed quietly in agreement. At the very least, Genma was good for Ryou. And at this point, that was really what mattered.

We were the last to leave the greenhouse, making us the last to arrive in the Winter Garden. Despite the weather, the garden was full of color flowers: carnations, chrysanthemums, orchids, narcissus, pansies, and even some dark red roses. A patio area of pale stone sat in the center of the garden where tables had been set up for the guests. A small space was left in the middle of the patio, possibly for dancing, and across the space from the tables was a small stage where the instruments for a string quartet lay waiting. Hanako seemed to be waiting for us – or more specifically, me – at the front most table. She waved me over, beaming excitedly. 

I made my way over, passing by even more curious glances on my way. I pointedly ignored them as she reached out and took my hands in hers.

“Thank you for what you did during the ceremony,” she said quietly. “I can’t tell you what it means to me.”

I shrugged, attempting to brush it off. “All I did was sit, Hanako.” 

“No, you stood in for the family I no longer have,” she insisted. “Like you do for those Uchiha boys of yours.” 

I frowned, but said nothing. Not much I could say to argue that point. Standing in for lost family seemed to be what I did.

“I know I keep requesting things of you,” she continued. “But I would very much like a song.” 

I rolled my eyes dramatically, mostly to get a laugh out of her (which I did). “Oh, alright. I suppose. But I’m not going to sing for you every time we happen to be in the same country, Hanako. I’ll run out of songs.” 

Hanako merely shook her head. “Kourubi, you’ll run out of songs when the sky runs out of stars.”

I shook my head, pulling away from Hanako and making my way towards the small stage. It wasn’t anything more than a low platform covered in colorful carpets to stave off the cold, but it was a stage nonetheless. No microphone was present, but I didn’t really need one anyway. I stepped onto the stage, the staring bothering me less as I did so. Now they weren’t staring at me because I was being unusually friendly with a foreign queen; they were staring because I was performing. 

I turned to face them, a little unnerved by the sudden silence. I inhaled deeply. The only type of song that was appropriate was a love song, wasn’t it? 

“Don’t push me out, just a little longer,  
Stall your mother; disregard your father’s words,  
Close the laundry door, tiptoe across the floor,  
Keep your clothes on; I’ve got all that I can take,  
Teach me how to use…the love that people say you make~”

I could see Hanako swaying gently to the rhythm of the song, a soft smile on her face. The nobles seemed thoroughly impressed by my little trick, the Fire Daimyo hiding what I knew was a smirk behind his fan. He was definitely going to brag about this later. Tsunade seemed unusually calm about my blatant showing off. Perhaps Kakashi had informed her about how he’d been unable to recreate my jutsu to the same degree on his own. I wouldn’t put it past her to ask. Perhaps she felt safe in the knowledge, or the assumption, that if Kakashi couldn’t recreate it, no one else could. The other shinobi watched me carefully, and I remembered how Kakashi had been amazed by the sheer amount of chakra control it would take to recreate songs as I did – control I did not normally have. I wondered if they were thinking the same thing. 

“Last night I dreamt the whole night long,  
I woke with a head full of songs,  
I spent the whole day, I wrote them down but it’s a shame,  
Tonight I’ll burn the lyrics, cause every chorus was your name~”

Perhaps it wasn’t the most appropriate song. It was a love song, certainly, but one about a desperate and all-consuming love that was as much of a burden to the person singing as it was a relief. A song about a person whose lover kept them at arm’s length. Appropriate for me to sing, because I could be both the writer and the lover the writer yearned for. Despite the fact we’d confessed love for one another, Kakashi, Iruka, and I still had so much we never talked about. In all honesty, none of us really liked to talk about ourselves in any meaningful way. We all had our secrets, myself most of all. 

“Break this tired old routine,  
And this time don’t make me leave,  
I am a breathing time machine,  
I’ll take you all for a ride~” 

The song came to an end, Hanako leading a round of applause. I gave a small bow before stepping down, hoping Hanako would not ask for an encore. I was half way across the open space between the tables and the stage when a loud crashing noise made me pause. I turned to see a small army come hurtling through the gardens, trampling the plants as they went. Bandits, I figured, here to steal all the nice shit the nobles were wearing and had brought as wedding presents. I briefly wondered how the hell random bandits were able to make their way through the Land of Flower’s shinobi before catching a glimpse of a shinobi headband with the village-identifying marker struck through it. Missing nin. Of course. What else would it be?

And, lo and behold, leading the charge was a familiar face.

“Hello, cousin,” Ken drawled as he stepped into the garden, his words dripping with artificial sweetness. “It’s so nice to see you again. And on such a happy occasion, too. I must congratulate you. It must have been hard to find someone to love your traitorous ass.” 

Hanako’s expression hardened. “I’m not the one who sent assassins after their only remaining family.” 

I slinked back towards the tables, hoping to regroup with my team while Ken was arguing with Hanako. 

“I was only doing what was best for our nation!” Ken snapped, taking another step forward. He flinched back as someone darted forward in a blur of blue and white. His eyes widened as Kisame stood between him and Hanako, Samehada brandished in his direction. 

Ken was seething, any sweetness he had in his voice vanished. “And now you let this foreigner defend you? Have you no shame?”

“Says the guy who teamed up with missing nin from every nation under the sun,” Kisame mocked, grin wide and full of sharp teeth. 

I managed to reach our table, hissing over my shoulder at Iruka, “Iruka. Undo my obi.”

He blinked, his hand pausing in its slow journey towards the seal on his arm. “What? Why?”

“Cause there’s no way I can fight in this!” I whispered urgently, tugging at the fabric of my furisode. “And even if I could, Kasasagi would kill me if I got it messed up.”

Iruka eyed me for a moment. “You’re wearing shinobi gear under that, aren’t you!?”

My eyes darted to where Ken was drawing his blade and ordering his men to take what they could. “Look, last time I was in the country for a major event in Hanako’s life, she got attacked by her cousin. I was just being prepared. And besides, look who turned out to be right!”

There was the sound of metal clashing and fighting broke out. Iruka and I ducked down out of the way as Kakashi went flying over us. Iruka’s hands immediately went to my obi, fumbling with the heavy fabric as he tried to undo the intricate knot. 

“If you can, darling, I really need you to go faster,” I said, my voice gaining an edge of desperation as the fighting ramped up around us. Ryou had ducked down and curled around Umeko and was passing Genma any number of weapons he pulled out of a sealing scrolled he’d hidden somewhere up his sleeve – probably in the same paper seals that he’d stuck in my own sleeves to hide my tanto in. Kisame and Itachi had teamed up once again, fighting off Ken with ease that seemed to frustrate the former prince. Mai was punching people in the face, as usual, with the help of Kurosuke who seemed to like chewing on people’s ankles. Sensei and Gai were tag-teaming as only they could. And I…

I was still stuck in a restrictive furisode.

I was about to urge Iruka again when I felt the obi loosen around my waist.

“Got it!” Iruka whooped, tugging the fabric away from my body and setting it on a nearby chair. 

“Thank you,” I breathed, reaching into my sleeve as my furisode fell open to reveal the shinobi gear I’d worn underneath – which in all honesty wasn’t much more than a simple tank top and my usual shorts, but at least that meant I wasn’t flashing anybody. 

I touched the paper seal Ryou had stuck inside there earlier this morning, the slightest push of chakra releasing my tanto from the seal. 

We finally stood upright, Iruka pulling his bow and quiver from the seal on his arm and immediately nocking an arrow and sending it into the shoulder of a nearby missing nin. 

A man turned towards us, stopping dead in his tracks when he caught sight of Iruka. He grinned wickedly. “I’d recognize that moronic ponytail anywhere. Hello, Iruka, it’s been a while hasn’t it?”

I stared at the man, taking him in – the blue-white hair that fell around his shoulders, the way his smile twisted his face…but it was the giant shuriken on his back that gave him away.

“How’s the fox brat?” Mizuki asked casually, striding towards us like we weren’t pointing weapons at him. “I see he isn’t here. Did someone steal my thunder and kill him while I was locked aw—?”

He hissed as the steak knife I chucked at him skidded across his cheek, leaving a thin red mark. 

“I’d watch your tongue around me, Hajime Mizuki,” I warned him, voice as cold as the air around me. “I don’t take kindly to people speaking badly about my brothers.”

Grey-green eyes locked onto mine, confusion barely hiding the disgust in his gaze. “Brother?”

“Uzumaki Naruto is a member of the Karasuno clan,” I informed him. “And that means he’s under my protection as head of my clan. You best. Watch. Your. Tongue.”

Mizuki smirked. “Don’t you know how dangerous it is to let foxes near the chicken coop?”

“Well, it’s a good thing that Naruto isn’t a fox and I am not a chicken,” I snap. “He’s a human being. Which is more than I can say about you. You’re more of a monster than he could ever be.” 

I could see Mizuki’s eye twitching. His hand reached for the giant shuriken on his back. Iruka loosed his arrow, but Mizuki just barely managed to dodge it. Instead, it lodged itself in the back of a different bandit that had been preoccupied with one of the nobles.  
Mizuki gripped the shuriken on his back, leaping back to put a little more distance between us. I gathered my chakra, ready to retaliate. The shuriken howled as it flew through the air.

A wave of sound caused the shuriken to wobble. Another wave, soon after the first, slowed it. A third wave sent it crashing to the ground some four inches from my feet. Mizuki’s eyes widened, but he wasted no time verbally questioning me. Instead, he pulled a kunai from the holster on his thigh and charged me. Iruka loosed another arrow, this one finding its mark in Mizuki’s shoulder. 

Before he could reach me, the music exploded into its full force, knocking him back. 

_We used to think our words were gold,_  
_That our binded hearts could withstand cold,_  
_We were catching diamonds in the rain,_  
_Letting precious water through the drain~_

I let my furisode drop to the ground around my feet before darting forward, leaving my geta behind as well. I ignored the cold the best I can as I let my blade run along Mizuki’s flank. He hissed, one hand flying to the wound as blood flowed sluggishly from it. He threw his kunai at me, the move sloppy and easily dodged. 

“Quick question, Mizuki,” I said, my voice light with a mocking lilt. “How did you manage to get all the way out here when you should be locked up in a tight little cell back in Konoha?”

“Probably during Orochimaru’s invasion,” Iruka theorized before Mizuki could say anything, which only seemed to infuriate Mizuki more. “The prisons did take some damage.” 

“Ah, you’re probably right, darlin’. That makes a lot of sense,” I agreed. “I guess I just never heard of his escape because no one fucking cared. I mean, compared to most missing nin, he’s hardly someone we need to worry about.” 

Mizuki snarled. “I’ll show you how much you need to worry about me.” 

He flickered out of sight. My gripped tightened on my tanto as I let the music radiate off me in waves. I heard a single footstep behind me and turned sharply on my heel to face Mizuki. My hand thrust out to meet him, a single, explosive note pulsing off of my skin and slamming into his stomach. It wasn’t enough to rupture his internal organs, but it did stop him in his tracks. His kunai clattered to the ground.

“The…hell are you?” He wheezed, clutching at his stomach.

“Karasuno Kourubi,” I said, my voice sharp and cold. “You hurt my brother and my boyfriend. And I’m not the forgiving type.” 

“Kourubi…” Iruka called my name and it sounded like a warning. I glanced back at him. His expression was conflicted, as if he wasn’t sure why he’d called out to me in the first place. 

“Don’t kill him,” He said finally. “He’s not worth it.”

That…hurt my heart to hear. “Maybe he’s not. But you are.”

“Kourubi. Please don’t.” 

Mizuki laughed, loud and bitter and fake sounding. “Oh, Iruka. You always were far too soft.”

I whirled on him, light flickering off my blade as it carved a thin line across Mizuki’s face – straight across his nose. He shrieked, hand flying up to his face.

“And now every time you look in the mirror you’ll be reminded of a man far better than you can ever be,” I hissed.

Mizuki stared at me, eyes wide as he realized what I’d done. Then, I took another handful of music and slammed it into the side of his head, knocking him out. By this point, most of the other missing nin and bandits had been taken care of. Only a small handful still fought, led by the still-standing Ken. It was amazing that he’d lasted as long as he did against Kisame and Itachi, but I had a feeling that they weren’t giving it their all. Why would they have to? 

I slunk towards Hanako where she hid just behind her table with Suzukaze as Kisame and Itachi did work. 

“Hanako,” I whispered. “Do you need me to kill him?” Part of me hoped she’d say yes, because she didn’t deserve to deal with him over and over and over again. Because he would never learn. People like him rarely ever did. But the part of me that held on to what hope I had prayed for her to say no. Recently, any hopeful thought that ran through my head whispered in her voice. Hanako really was perfect for a place like the Land of Flowers – for a place where even in the coldest winters, beautiful flowers still bloomed. 

It honestly didn’t surprise me when she shook her head. “No. I…I refuse. I won’t kill family.”

“Hanako, he stopped being family the moment he tried to kill you,” I argued. “Believe me. I’ve dealt with people who think they’re above punishment because they share your blood. But please, Hanako, value yourself a little more than this. He will never leave you be as long as you let him live. He will never stop trying to kill you if you let him wander out of your country.”

“Then I won’t let him wander,” Hanako said, her voice steady with conviction. “But I refuse to let you kill him, even though I know you want to. I know you want to stop me from hurting, but life is full of pain. I don’t want you to cause more because of me.” 

I shook my head and vaulted over the table, landing between Kisame and Itachi. “No killing, she says.”

Kisame shot me a look, surprise evident in his eyes. Even Itachi looked a bit taken aback by the announcement. 

“However, that doesn’t mean we can’t take away his means of hurting her,” I reminded them with a malicious smirk. 

Itachi’s eyes narrowed as he tried to parse my meaning. I didn’t give him the chance, shooting forward with my tanto at the ready. Ken swung at me with his own blade, missing me completely. I slashed downwards.

His arm fell from his body, severed halfway between his elbow and his shoulder.

He screamed. His men stopped. Then, they fled.

Over his shrill voice I heard Hanako gasp. 

“You.” I grabbed Ken by the collar of his shirt, the tip of my blade pressed lightly against his throat. “You are _never_ going to hurt her again. If you do, I don’t care what Hanako says, I’m going to kill you. You’ve been given one chance too many. Be grateful for that.” 

“Do you need me to take his other arm?” Kisame offered, grinning at Ken in a way that probably would have made most people pee their pants. 

I rolled my eyes at him. “Does this guy really look like the kind of person who can pull off one handed seals?” 

Kisame shrugged. “Fair enough. I could though. If you needed me to. It’d be cathartic.” 

“I think we’ve traumatized Her Majesty enough,” I said, knocking a weeping Ken out with the butt of my tanto’s hilt and dropping him to the ground. “Besides, shouldn’t you have been taking care of Mei?”

“Are you kidding?” Kisame chuckled. “I was her plus one. Zabuza and that blue haired kid of hers were her guards.”

I glanced over, catching sight of Zabuza and a blue haired boy with glasses. He was important, but his named escaped me. Chou-something. Whatever. He didn’t matter right now. What mattered was getting Ken and his minions out of here.

I walked over to where Tsunade was standing with Hayate and Yamato, none of them looking injured or even particularly ruffled. I grabbed the back of Mizuki’s shirt along the way, dragging him with me.

“Excuse me, Tsuande-sama,” I said as I approached, lifting Mizuki a little to draw their attention to him. “This is one of ours. What should we do with him?” 

Tsunade looked down at the unconscious man I was dragging across the ground, mild confusion in her eyes. “Who is this?”

“Hajime Mizuki, Tsunade-sama,” Iruka explained as he came up behind me. “He used to be an instructor at the academy before he conspired to steal the Second’s scroll of forbidden jutsu.”

“I see,” Tsunade mused. “Unfortunately, we do not have the equipment to move him securely back to Konoha. Perhaps Her Majesty would be kind enough to hold him until we can send for a containment unit.”

“I’ll ask,” I said shortly, dropping Mizuki to the ground and turning on my heel to walk towards Hanako. I grabbed my furisode off the ground as I went, the cold getting to me. 

Hanako was watching as Suzukaze directed the guards that had arrived a little too late. Her hands clutched at her arms, shaking slightly. I felt guilt settle in my stomach as I approached. 

“Are you angry with me?” 

She turned at my question, eyes neither hard with anger nor bright with joy. She simply looked tired.

“No,” she admitted. “I feel like I should be, but I am not. You didn’t kill him, and that was all I asked of you.” 

“I didn’t want him to hurt you again,” I said, trying to explain my actions. “If I couldn’t kill him, then I’d take away his dominant arm. No more weapons. No more jutsu.” 

Hanako laughed, and there was a bitterness in the sound. “Even in your rage you are kind.”

“Hardly,” I muttered with a shake of my head. Hanako looked like she wanted to argue, but I changed the subject. “What will you do with him?”

Her gaze shifts to something unseen in the distance. “Well, it seems I cannot let him roam free. He will be locked away for the rest of his days. I had hoped he would find some new life elsewhere after I exiled him, but it seems he is desperate to be here in his country. Therefore, I will make sure he never leaves it.” 

“You wouldn’t happen to have some extra room for one of ours, would you?” I asked, jerking my thumb back towards the still unconscious form of Mizuki. “We can’t take him back with us as we are, so he needs a place to be locked up until we can send some folks to pick him up.” 

Hanako waved off my concern with a causal flick of her hand. “Yes, of course. We can hold on to your little problem child as long as you need. Though I expect it won’t be too long; you Konoha shinobi tend to act quickly.”

“Thank you,” I said. “I’m sure Tsunade-sama appreciates it as well.” I paused. “And…I’m sorry your wedding got ruined.” 

Hanako laughed again, sounding a little less bitter than the one before. “He didn’t ruin my wedding. He ruined the party, and I hadn’t been looking forward to that part anyway.” 

“Still, kinda sucks.” 

“My friend, that would be putting it mildly.” 

 

The nobility seemed perfectly content with restarting the party as soon as the bodies were dragged away. Nothing was going to stop them from making absolute fools of themselves after downing bottle after bottle of honey wine. The shinobi were, understandably, far more subdued in their celebration. Even Ryou limited himself to a single glass of wine, which was a miracle in and of itself (and probably made Genma even more concerned about Ryou than he had been before). 

Suddenly, a noble I didn’t recognize stood, glass in hand, catching everyone’s attention. 

“Perhaps someone would like to propose a toast to the bride and groom?” he said, as if he wanted an excuse to drink more but didn’t have anything to say personally. 

No one seemed eager to stand up and give some generic speech, since I doubted any of the nobles really knew Hanako or Suzukaze personally. Hanako looked mildly embarrassed about the whole thing. I sighed and stood. The poor girl had had a bad enough day already without some stupid noble low-key embarrassing her. I raised my glass of sparkling juice with a small smile. I couldn’t quite remember the context of the song that came to mind (nor even the lyrics past the chorus), but even if I did, it wouldn’t matter. No one else would know either way.

“You’ll like this one, Hanako,” I promised her. “It’s a song.”

Hanako blinked in surprise, watching me carefully with her glass half raised.

“To the groom,  
To the bride,  
From your dear friends,  
Who’re always by your side~”

Hanako’s smile brightened.

“To your union,  
And the hope that you provide,  
May you always,  
Be satisfied~”

The nobles gave a small cheer and downed their drinks. Hanako took a small sip, looking far happier than she had been a moment ago. I took my seat again, Sasuke eyeing me curiously.

“Do you have a question, baby brother?” I asked, pretending I didn’t notice Itachi glance my way when he heard the endearment.

“You didn’t use your jutsu,” he said, hiding his confusion under a simple observation

“I don’t need my jutsu to sing a song, baby brother,” I explained. “You should know that.” 

“Where do you even get these songs from?” Hayate asked around a cough. 

I shrugged, my eyes on Hanako and Suzukaze as they practically glided out onto the dance floor to the sounds of a string quartet. “Where do any songs come from?”

I turned to Sasuke before anyone else could ask another question. “C’mon, baby brother. I’m going to teach you how to dance.” 

 

Two days later, Hanako came to see us off personally. The other delegations had left the day before, which only made sense seeing how they got there before we did. 

“It seems you always leave far too quickly,” Hanako sighed, her small hands clasping mine. “There never seems to be enough time to just enjoy each other’s company.”

“Well, you’ll just have to visit me in Konoha,” I said, knowing that I likely wouldn’t be leaving the village for any reason for a long while. Not if Tsunade had anything to say about it.

“When I can,” she promised. “Write to me?”

“When I can,” I echoed. 

She shook her head, her smile fond as she finally let me go. I turned and climbed into the carriage, settling myself between my boys. The carriage rocked as the driver flicked his reins to urge the horses forward, and I closed my eyes to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is an omake for this chapter up on my tumblr. You can find it [here](http://melodyfromanotherworld.tumblr.com/post/168681618623/cats-cradle-a-chapter-46-omake).
> 
> Featured songs (there's a lot of them this time :3)
> 
> [Laundry Room by Avett Brothers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C77DFsPKxv0) (my favorite love song ever)
> 
>  
> 
> [Bone Dry by Tristam](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xm8UTv6LSf0)
> 
>  
> 
> [Satisfied from Hamilton](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pR-PeeRYVc)
> 
>  
> 
> A little announcement: starting Friday, I'll be gone for about two weeks for holiday vacation (we're going to Disney!) which means I'll be away when the next update comes along. Unfortunately, given the circumstances, I can't promise I'll be able to post it. I will do my best, but I hope you can forgive me for missing my update. 
> 
> Anyways, let me know what you think in the comments below. Okay, love you, Happy Holidays, bai~


	47. In Which I Have Some Big News

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody, I'm back! Sorry for being away for so long, but I was super busy over the Christmas/New Year's break (both with my vacation and the fact I got super fucking sick right afterwards). But! I have returned with a brand spankin' new chapter for y'all. I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think in the comments!

Some two weeks after returning from the Land of Flowers, I woke up feeling like my stomach was trying to turn itself inside out. All thoughts of dozing in bed like usual were chased from my mind as I scrambled out of bed and bolted down the hall to the bathroom, only barely making it to the toilet before upchucking whatever was left from dinner last night. 

I hadn’t bothered to close the door behind me (there hadn’t been time), so Iruka and Kakashi bore witness to my wonderful state of being when they followed after me to find out what was wrong. I whined around another mouthful of vomit, barely hearing the footsteps of one of my boys coming into the room. Tears prickled at the corner of my eyes as I retched again, and a warm hand settled on my back.

“Are you okay?” Iruka asked gently, combing my hair away from my face. 

“No,” I whimpered, my sight blurry with tears. I retched again.

“Was it something you ate?” Kakashi asked from the doorway. Given his strong sense of smell, I couldn’t blame him for keeping his distance. He was probably as close as he could get. 

“I don’t think so?” I panted, feeling the nausea subside for now. God, now I just felt gross. 

“We didn’t eat anything out of the ordinary,” Iruka mused, standing to walk towards one of the cabinets and grab a washcloth. He turned to the sink, wetting it with cold water before returning to my side, pulling me to sit back against him. Water-cooled fabric touched my face, and I took hold of the offered washcloth. 

Sasuke appeared around the doorframe, looking only half awake. “What’s going on?” 

“I’m not feeling well is all,” I said with a tired sigh. “Sorry I woke you up.” 

“You okay?” he asked, looking a little more alert. His concern warmed my heart, and little bit of pride whispering that I’d taught him that. It passed quickly. 

“I’ll be alright,” I promised him. “I’m feeling a bit better already.” 

“Regardless, for you to get so sick so suddenly…” Kakashi trailed off.

I frowned, pulling the lever to flush my sick down the toilet. “I don’t need to see a doctor, Kakashi, I’m fine.” 

Kakashi leveled me with an unimpressed look. “You’re clearly not.”

“If I’m still sick tomorrow, I’ll go see Kiui,” I assured him. “But I don’t think going to the doctor because I threw up once is necessary.” 

“Fine,” he agreed, sharing a look with Iruka that clearly said he thought I was being unnecessarily stubborn. “But when you get sick tomorrow…”

“If I get sick tomorrow,” I corrected him.

“If you get sick tomorrow,” Iruka said before Kakashi could sass at me, “we’re taking you to Kiui.” 

The nausea hung about for the better part of the day, only easing in the early evening. The low level churning of my stomach was something I could mostly deal with, but it made eating a chore, and I couldn’t bring myself to finish any of the meals I had that day. It came back with a vengeance the next morning, and I was once again kneeling at the porcelain altar. 

“That’s it,” Iruka huffed. “We’re taking you to see Kiui.”

“Don’t you have work today?” I grumbled around the cool washcloth he’d handed me not a moment before. 

“I have lots of vacation built up,” Iruka said, his own stubbornness creeping in. “Your health is important, and I’m not going to let you pull a Kakashi and try to get out of going to the doctor.” 

“To be fair, I do go to the doctor,” Kakashi argued mildly. 

“You just sneak out of the hospital the day after you get there,” I reminded him, my nausea making me testy. 

Neither of them bothered to argue with me, simply dragging me out of the house (almost literally) the moment I was decently dressed. I still didn’t understand the fuss. Stomach viruses were a thing, and they were essentially harmless, save for a day or so of nausea. I probably just caught a little something from one of the foreign dignitaries at Hanako’s wedding. 

Luckily, Kiui wasn’t in the middle of anything when we arrived. She seemed honestly surprised to see me, however – more so when she saw Iruka and Kakashi behind me as they herded me into the exam room. 

“Something going on, Kourubi?” she asked, pointedly addressing me and ignoring my boys.

“I’ve been nauseous the past two days,” I explained, my tone making it clear that I didn’t think it was a big deal. 

One vermillion brow rose in curiosity. “Any vomiting?” 

“Just in the morning, and it’s not like I have to keep running back to the toilet or anything. It happens once and then it doesn’t happen the rest of the day.” 

Kiui looked even more curious. “That’s weird, kiddo.” She reached over and felt my forehead and neck, searching for a fever that wasn’t there. 

“It’s probably just a stomach bug I picked up in the Land of Flowers,” I said, crossing my arms.

“Stomach bugs generally don’t take two weeks to hit,” Kiui corrected me, walking across the exam room. She reached into a cabinet and pulled out a sealed, clear plastic cup. She tossed it at me, and I caught it easily. “Go pee in this.” She jerked her head towards a side door. “There’s the bathroom.”

I rolled my eyes, but I wasn’t about to actually argue with her. If, like she said, it wasn’t a stomach bug, then I needed to find out what it actually was. 

I said nothing when I exited the bathroom after completing my task, cup tucked safely into a small two-way cubby in the wall between the exam room and the bathroom. Kiui didn’t even bother to wait until I had sat back down before tugging on a pair of latex gloves and grabbing the cup.

“I’ll be back in two shakes of a tail feather,” she said before leaving the room. 

‘Two shakes of a tail feather’ ended up being a little over half an hour. The three of us didn’t speak pretty much the entire time she was gone, too worried about what the tests might reveal – if they revealed anything at all. There was a real possibility that the tests would come back inconclusive and who knows what would happen then. I watched Kakashi’s anxiously bouncing knee out of the corner of my eye as Iruka paced back and forth in front of us. They seemed far more worried about this than I was. 

Iruka’s head snapped in the direction of the door as Kiui returned. She looked…well honestly it has hard to tell. She looked like she was holding something back – but whether it was laughter or tears I couldn’t say. She held a clipboard of papers in her hand though, and I strained to read them as she passed. She tossed it onto the exam table before turning to speak to us.

“Sit down, sensei, you’re going to wear a ditch in my floor,” Kiui said blandly. She leaned back against her examination table, crossing her arms casually. She didn’t speak until Iruka finally sat back down. 

“Alright, first of all, you’re not sick,” Kiui said.

“The what is she?” Iruka looked like he was about to stand again.

Kiui shot him an unimpressed look. “If you’d let me finish, sensei.” 

Iruka blushed and turned his gaze to the floor sheepishly.

“You’re not sick,” Kiui announced, “because you’re pregnant.” 

The room spun. One hand shot out to grip Iruka’s arm to attempt to balance myself. My throat felt dry when I tried to speak. “W-what?” 

“Pregnant,” Kiui said again. “Expecting, knocked up, got a bun in the oven. Pregnant. Considering you’ve been having morning sickness, I’d say you’re at least six weeks along. The question is how. And whose.” 

The who was easy enough to answer. “It’s Kakashi’s.” 

Kiui looked at me incredulously. “How do you know?”

I jerked a thumb towards Kakashi, who had the gall to blush. “This one never wears condoms. Might want to add that to your list of ‘self-destructive behaviors seen in ANBU’ list thing I know you make.” 

Kiui only looked offended. “And you let him?” 

“Well excuse me for thinking the birth control was going to do its job!” I snapped defensively. A sudden thought occurred to me, and I felt very solemn, a single hand drifting to clutch at the cloth of my shirt just above my stomach. “Besides, I didn’t think I could get pregnant.” 

Kiui frowned, a look of ‘are you kidding me or are you stupid’ on her face. “Women get pregnant when they have sex, Kourubi.”

“No, no, I mean I didn’t think _I_ could get pregnant.” Somehow it felt like this was a fear that had followed me from Before, and tou-san’s story about how hard it’d been for kaa-san to have me only cemented it in my mind. 

Kiui’s incredulousness faded quickly. “Because of what happened with your mother.” It wasn’t a question, but I nodded anyway. “Well, obviously you’re not your mother, especially if you can get pregnant while on birth control.”

“Speaking of…” I said hesitantly. “Since I didn’t know, I kept taking the pills. Is…is that bad?”

“No, no, nothing bad will happen to the baby,” Kiui insisted. “The medicine is supposed to keep you from ovulating. Obviously it didn’t work this time. There was always a chance of this happening, which is why we encourage you to continue to use condoms as well, but it was only a 3% chance at best, so I don’t exactly blame you for thinking it would be enough – even if I do think you were stupid. That said, I do suggest you stop taking the pills until after you’ve given birth. If you give birth that is.”

My brows furrowed at that. “What does that mean?”

“Well, you have a couple of choices right now,” Kiui explained calmly, fiddling with the pack of cigarettes I knew she carried in her pocket. “You can carry the child to term and keep it. You can carry the child to term, and then put it up for adoption, usually you’d do that within the clan, but that’s up to you. Or…you can terminate the pregnancy. Most kunoichi your age go for the latter rather than either of the former. Especially those who are still climbing the ranks or intend on continuing to do missions. That’s not so much an issue for you, Little Miss Jonin Archiver. But still, you should know it’s an option.” 

I could feel not only Kiui’s but Kakashi and Iruka’s eyes on me as I sat in silence, thinking. I should probably ask them how they felt about the situation. It would be the polite thing to do. But…it didn’t matter how they felt about it, really. Nothing that they could say would change my mind. I remembered my feelings of jealously towards Ryou as I watched him care for infant Umeko. I remember sitting there, thinking how I’d never be able to have that, because of some condition that I no longer had – a condition that I couldn’t even remember but haunted me anyway. It was, honestly, not nearly as difficult a decision as Kiui probably assumed it was.

“I don’t want to terminate it,” I said firmly. “I can understand why someone would, believe me, but I am in a far more comfortable place than most. I don’t have any more ranks to climb, and I have a steady in-village job. I am in no need of money and I don’t think my parents would yank the rug out from under my feet when they find out.”

“Yeah, Isamu-oji-san would never,” Kiui agreed, assuaging my fear. “If you’re sure this is what you want.”

“I’m sure,” I agreed. 

Kiui nodded, her expression free from judgment, handing me the clipboard of paperwork. “Then you need to fill all this out. Since you are an active shinobi, your pregnancy needs to be filed with the Hokage. While you’re not going to be going on any missions, I am required to inform you that during your pregnancy, you will be limited in what missions and work you can do. While this doesn’t necessarily apply to you, since you’re not doing missions, I am required to inform you anyway. First trimester includes low-risk C-ranked missions and D-ranked missions. Second trimester is exclusively D-ranked with minimal manual labor. Third trimester you are considered off duty, with a weekly stipend to be paid to you equivalent to one B-ranked mission. Though, considering you’re going to be birthing the spawn of a dying clan, you’ll probably be paid more.” 

I frowned. Of course Konoha would pay people to have clan babies – I can’t imagine how much someone would pay to get the Hatake clan back. 

“You’ll be assigned an obstetrician to meet with biweekly for check-ups,” Kiui continued briskly. “If you don’t go to them, I will personally hunt you down and smack you upside the head.” 

“I hear you,” I said placatingly.

“Good,” Kiui said with a short nod. “Now hurry up with that paperwork; I gotta deliver it to half the departments in Konoha.” 

 

We were about halfway home when Kakashi grabbed my hand and slowed our walking to give us space away from Iruka.

“You know I would never ask you to keep it if you didn’t want to,” he said, keeping his words vague in case of eavesdroppers. 

I simply nodded. As far as I knew, Kakashi never married in the canon – neither had Iruka. The Hatake and Umino names, as far as I was aware, died with them. I wanted to give them a family just as much as I wanted to have one of my own. 

I think I surprised them by deciding to go through with the pregnancy. 

“And you don’t have to keep it just because you think I want you to,” Kakashi continued rather insistently.

“I’m not,” I replied. “I don’t think you understand how little your opinion on the situation matters in my decision on whether or not I keep it.”

Kakashi seemed taken aback, which was understandable. The way I’d said that was harsh.

“It’s my body, Kakashi,” I said. “My priorities will always override yours when it comes to my body. That was something Fukuro could not understand. I hope you and Iruka do.” 

Kakashi eyed me curiously for a long while as we continued to walk, eventually nodding. 

“What will you tell your parents?”

“The truth, I suppose,” I sighed with a shrug. “Not much else I can tell them.” 

“They’ll skin me alive,” Kakashi groused lightly. 

“Hardly,” I quipped. “They’d rather you be alive to take care of your child.” 

Kakashi was silent the rest of the walk home, which worried me. I cannot imagine he was taking this news nearly as well as he was putting on. If Kakashi feared anything, it was attachment. It was probably a miracle and a half that I managed to keep him around as long as I had. Attachment, in his experience, led to heartbreak in one form or another – usually by way of death. I wondered, anxiety gripping my lungs like icy claws, if this would be the thing to scare him off. 

Kaa-san and tou-san were in the kitchen when we returned, cleaning up that morning’s dishes. Itachi was…somewhere, probably the back garden, and came in when he heard us arrive. Sasuke came down the stairs when my mother called him as she ushered us into the living room. 

“What happened?” she asked before everyone else could be seated. “What did Kiui tell you?”

“Ah, well, it wasn’t what any of us were expecting,” I said, laughing a little at my pun. 

“Don’t stall, child,” tou-san scolded lightly. “Quickly, before your mother has a heart attack.”

Well, she was probably going to have one anyway. “I’m pregnant.” 

Silence fell on the room, heavy and oppressive like volcanic heat. Kaa-san and tou-san’s faces were unreadable, frozen in shock. Sasuke looked ready to jump from the couch and punch someone – preferably the man who’d gotten me pregnant. 

“Who –?” 

Preempting tou-san’s question, I nodded my head in Kakashi’s direction. Kakashi faced the cold stare of my parents head-on, though I could see the singular bead of sweat roll down his neck from behind his ear.

“Kourubi,” kaa-san said, her voice chillingly cold. “If we could have a moment alone with Kakashi…”

I didn’t really want to leave the room, even though I doubted either of of them would actually hurt Kakashi. But…this conversation would never progress if I didn’t give them this moment, so I stood slowly. 

“Don’t kill him,” I requested, only kind of kidding.

“We wouldn’t do _that_ ,” tou-san insisted, though it sounded like he didn’t really mean it. “He’s practically family.” 

“You say that like we haven’t cracked down on family before,” I grumbled as I made my way towards the door where Iruka, Sasuke, and Itachi waited for me. I paused long enough to place a kiss to Kakashi’s cheek – mostly to reassure him, but also to inform my parents of how I felt towards him in this moment. Despite their obvious anger, they wouldn’t dare touch Kakashi if they thought it would upset me. If I wasn’t so mad that I would still kiss him, they had no real reason to hurt him in my defense…or attempt to kick him out of the clan compound (which was honestly the far more likely scenario).

“I’m going to kill him,” Sasuke hissed as I slid the thin wooden door shut behind me. 

“You will not,” I informed him coolly. “Unless you want me to be upset with you until the day I die.” 

Sasuke scowled, arms crossed tightly over his chest as if holding something back. 

“You’ve never been fond of our relationship,” I mused. “I’ve never really understood why.”

“He’s not good enough for you,” Sasuke said plainly, and I could hear the old anger bubbling just beneath the surface. “He’s always late, he reads those awful books in public (and I honestly don’t understand how that doesn’t embarrass you), he’s lazy as hell, he – !”

“He makes me happy,” I interrupted before Sasuke could continue. “And that’s the important part.”

“He’s put you in a really bad position, though,” Sasuke argued, though it sounded more out of concern than anger this time. “You’re already on thin ice with the clan for no good reason. Can you imagine how they’d react to this?”

“Baby brother, if that was a concern of mine, I could have easily terminated the pregnancy,” I said, my voice heavy with finality. “If they have issues, they can take it up with me. Don’t worry yourself about it.” 

He looked unconvinced, like he could see me stressing out about it later – which I probably would, but that wasn’t his concern. The three of them continued off into the rest of the house. Iruka paused when he realized I wasn’t coming with him. He looked back at me over his shoulder, wearing a frown of confusion and concern. I waved him off, miming listening in on the conversation I could just barely hear through the closed door. He smiled a bit, rolling his eyes at me. True, what I was doing could be considered childish, but I didn’t particularly care at this point. 

I waited, ear pressed against the relatively thin wood of the door. It wasn’t necessarily hard to make out the conversation, but it wasn’t easy either. 

“…your intentions?” I heard my mother ask, catching her half way through her sentence. “Our daughter is young, and kind, and too generous with her heart. If you’ve taken advantage of that…I do not care how she feels about you, you will not be forgiven.” 

“My intentions?” Kakashi echoed, sounding honestly thrown by the accusation. I felt offended for him. If I was reading the room correctly, my parents were accusing him of using me – probably to bear him an heir. Which completely ignored the way he’d treated me for our entire relationship. Then again…we were shinobi. Hiding our feelings and intentions was supposed to be part of the job. I supposed, with that in mind, it wasn’t that far of a logical leap to make…even if it was a stupid one. 

“I have no ‘intentions’ for your daughter, Karasuno-san,” Kakashi continued after a long moment, his voice steady and full of conviction. “Except to care for her in the way she deserves. You’re right. She is young, and kind, and entirely too generous with her heart if she’s so willing to give it to a man like me.” 

My heart sunk at his words. Even still he hated himself so much. I had hoped that I could help him learn to value himself a bit more…but by my own admission I’d only added to the problem recently. I’m sure the guilt I’d thrown at him for Naruto’s situation had only compounded whatever shame he’d already felt about it.

“But if you think I could take advantage of her in such a way…then you think far too lowly of her. Kourubi would never let someone do such a thing to her – the way she dealt with Isoshigi and his hellspawn are clear enough evidence of that. Kourubi came to her decision on her own, as she is wont to do. She’s stubborn as hell, you know. And I love her for it even when it makes me want to pull my hair out.”

My breath hitched at his words, and I froze, praying none of them had heard me. 

If they had, they said nothing as Kakashi continued his rant. “So you ask about my ‘intentions’? My intentions are to stay by her side for as long as she’ll let me. To be frank, Karasuno-san, I love your daughter – more than I ever expected to. So if you want to scare me away, you’ll have to try harder. And even then I’ll refuse to leave until Kou-chan tells me to go.” 

I clamped a hand over my mouth to hold back sobs as tears rolled down my cheeks. Kakashi…had never really said how he felt about me to anyone else. It was a confession only I (and sometimes Iruka) would ever hear. To have him say it outright to my parents left me far more emotional than I expected. 

The door slid open, revealing a concerned Kakashi. He took one look at my tears and puffy red eyes and immediately knelt down beside me.

“Hey. Hey? What’s wrong? Did I say something wrong?” he asked quietly, cupping my flushed cheeks in his cold hands. 

“No, no, no, not at all,” I hiccupped, blinking away my tears so I could meet his eye properly. “You said everything perfectly.” 

Kakashi only looked more confused. Then, as if struck by a moment of clarity, understanding dawn on him. He glanced away, one hand coming up to scratch at his suddenly pink cheek. “Ah, well…”

I reached out, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and pull him more firmly down with me. He made a sputtering noise, holding himself up with a hand on the wall. I tugged down his mask – careful to hide what I could from my parents – and kissed him, effectively shutting him up. I heard my mother make a playful tutting noise, and I could practically feel my father rolling his eyes at us, but I gave no shits at this point. 

After I’d sufficiently kissed the life out of Kakashi, I pulled away and replaced his mask with what was probably a far-too-pleased smile. 

“You’re incorrigible,” Kakashi grumbled, but I could hear the fondness in his voice. 

“You love me,” I said. “You said so.”

“Ah, I suppose I did,” Kakashi agreed, moving to stand properly and pulling me up with him. I stumbled a bit, falling into his chest, which only served to amuse him further. 

“Don’t bother hiding it now,” tou-san chided him. “You made such a passionate declaration earlier; it’d be a shame to waste it.” 

Kaa-san nodded back towards the living room. “Best sit down, you two. We have much to discuss.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >:3c


	48. In Which I Learn Someone's Name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody, I'm back again with another chapter. I have a quick warning for y'all: there is a section of very blunt, mildly comedic discussion of the not-so-glamorous side of pregnancy. If you don't really care to read that, go ahead and skip the dinner scene towards the end. You'll know your safe when you get to the line 'Night had fallen.'

It was a mere two days before I was called into Tsunade’s office. I’d been expecting it, honestly. It wasn’t often that someone became pregnant with the potential heir of a dying clan, after all. Nor did active shinobi tend to get pregnant out of the blue – they usually tried to go inactive before even trying.

Tsunade looked oddly amused when I entered her office, her chin resting on her knuckles as she flat out smirked at me.

“Well, well, Karasuno,” she drawled. “You’ve certainly found yourself in an interesting mess this time.” 

“I would argue the mess part, but the morning sickness won’t let me,” I joked; the nausea was still a prominent issue, and would remain so for a while if Kiui was to be believed. 

“It won’t last forever,” Tsunade assured me kindly. “But that’s not really the mess I was talking about.”

“No, I didn’t think so,” I said with a small sigh. 

Tsunade leveled me with a stare devoid of the amusement that had danced in her eyes just moments before. “You’re certain this is Kakashi’s child?”

I nodded silently.

“You realize that this is very dangerous news,” Tsunade said, her voice calm but heavy with dark implications. “Kakashi has no shortage of enemies, and his father had even more. When this news gets out, and I have no doubt it will get out despite our best efforts, you will have a very large, very tempting target painted on your back.” 

I nodded again. “Yes, ma’am, this is something I have discussed with my parents.”

Her expression softened a bit at the mention of them. “How did they react?” 

It was reassuring to hear her concern. I couldn’t be sure what the usual reaction for having a child out of wedlock was among shinobi clans, but I couldn’t imagine it was a positive one…especially among clans with kekkei-genkai. 

“They’ve been supportive,” I told her. “But not before they basically threatened Kakashi with castration. They seemed to be of the opinion that he was using me to get an heir…”

“It’s a reasonable fear,” Tsunade agreed. “It’s not something that happens often, and generally not to powerful kunoichi with well known clans behind them, but it’s not unheard of.”

“You don’t think Kakashi would do such a thing, do you?” I asked incredulously. Kakashi may be something of a rogue – or at least that was the image he tended to project – but he wasn’t that kind of bastard by any stretch of the imagination. 

“No,” Tsunade said plainly. “But I also don’t have the same kind of emotional investment in this situation as your parents. Parents can jump to the worst conclusions when they think their children are in danger.” 

“I suppose…” I remembered some of the wild fears Ryou often conjured up when he was worried about Umeko, or even Noboru-sensei’s anxieties as what amounted to being a surrogate parent for me and my team. 

“Regardless,” Tsunade continued, moving back to the initial topic. “I cannot simply let you carry on without some kind of protection.”

“Are you going to hide me away like the Third did with Kushina-san?” I asked. It had always bothered me that practically no one was allowed to know about Kushina’s pregnancy. And because of that, it was so much easier for Hiruzen to hide Naruto’s parentage from the village…which only led to the poor kid’s abuse. 

“No,” Tsunade said with a shake of her head. “For our purposes that’s not a reasonable course of action. Your clan, for one, makes even attempting such a thing difficult. No, instead, I think the best course of action for now would be to assign you a pair of regular guards, and perhaps to allow your ‘nestlings’ to guard you in shifts.”

I felt mildly insulted at the idea that I couldn’t look after myself, but then I remembered how difficult it was for women to simply move during the later months of pregnancy. While I might not need the help now, I’d definitely need it by the time I was done with my second trimester. 

“I suppose that’s reasonable,” I reluctantly agreed. 

Tsunade sighed a bit, some of the tension leaving her shoulders. “Thank you for being understanding. I was honestly waiting for you to argue with me.”

I shrugged. “I’m stubborn, not stupid. Even I know that trying to fight while carrying around an eight pound weight in your belly is insane to think about. I don’t like it, but I know it’s the only real logical solution.”

“If it makes you feel better, I’ve decided to assign Kamome as your night guard,” she informed me. “I figured it would make you feel better to have family looking after you.”

It did. Kamome would have probably been my first choice – she was loyal and skilled and I got along well with her. But Tsunade specifically mentioned she was my night guard, which meant there was another.

“And the other one?” I asked cautiously.

“I had a volunteer, actually,” Tsunade said with an amused smile. “I think you’ll remember him fairly well.”

As if on queue, a figure flickered into the light from the shadows of the office. It was Tenzo, but his ANBU gear is nowhere in sight. Instead, he stood before me in regulation blues and a regular jonin flak vest. He smirked a little at the obvious confusion on my face.

“Tenzo-san?” 

“I would prefer it if you called me Yamato,” he corrected me gently as he strode across the room. He stopped just within arm’s reach of me, holding out his hand for me to shake. “Senju Yamato, Karasuno-san. It’s nice to formally meet you.” 

_Senju_ Yamato. The name rang in my ears and echoed in my mind and I couldn’t stop a grin from spreading across my face. I had no idea when Tsunade had adopted him, but it just seemed so fucking perfect. 

“Call me Kourubi,” I said as I took his hand in mine with a firm shake. “And the honor’s all mine.” 

 

Kakashi was blatantly surprised when Yamato entered the garden behind me. “Tenzo…what are you doing here?”

“It’s Yamato now, senpai,” Yamato corrected. “And I have been assigned as Kourubi-san’s guard.”

Kakashi simply murmured a quiet “I see.” I wondered what he thought of the arrangement. His eyes lost some of their focus as he lost himself in whatever inner monologue he had going. I sat beside him on the engawa, laying my head on his shoulder. This seemed to stir him from his thoughts, one of his arms going around my waist.

He turned his attention back to Yamato. “Tell me she didn’t leave you to do this on your own.”

“I’m just the day shift,” Yamato said, looking a little happy that Kakashi had express some concerned over his wellbeing.

“Kamome is the night guard,” I said, settling more of my weight against his side as I got comfortable. Yamato was rather blatant in his staring, a curious light just barely hidden behind a mask of impassiveness. I realized rather quickly that it must be a bit of a shock for him to see someone so openly affectionate with Kakashi. He’d known Kakashi at one of the lowest parts of Kakashi’s life. I wondered if he was happy to see Kakashi in the place he was in now…with me. 

“Tsunade-sama thought it would be best if your family was responsible for your nighttime security,” Yamato explained. “She thought that would make you the most comfortable.”

“Well, if Tsuande hadn’t assigned her, I’m sure my parents would have asked her to do it anyway,” I replied breezily. And if Tsunade had asked anyone else, Kamome would have circumvented the whole situation and would have stepped up anyway. Kamome was loyal, far more than I deserved. She always wanted to step in and help me – it was why she put herself in charge of the Isoshigi investigation, and it was why she stepped in to take care of Sai. 

I wondered how that was going for her.

 

I found out around six in the evening, when Sai arrived alongside Kamome dressed in the traditional Karasuno tailed tunic. His hair was longer than it’d been the last time I’d seen him, falling gently around his shoulders much like Sasuke’s did nowadays. 

“What have you been washing his hair with, Kamome?” I asked in jest. “It wasn’t near that long a month ago.” 

Kamome snorted, looking almost offended. “Can you believe Danzo never allowed the kid to use conditioner? What sort of savage was he?”

It was strange to see Kamome out of her ANBU gear, at least without her also being in casual clothing. The standard flak vest looked too bulky on her lithe frame. I wanted to ask if she was cold, seeing as she’d deemed to wear a long sleeve shirt, but her pants only went down to her knees. I kept the comment to myself. 

“The worst kind,” I agreed instead, though not necessarily because of the lack of good hair care. I turn my attention to Sai, smiling at him. “How are you Sai? It’s been a while. I’m afraid I still don’t have a nickname for you.” 

“That’s alright, Kourubi…sama.” He looked to Kamome for confirmation that he had indeed used the correct honorific.

“If you’d prefer, Sai, you’re young enough you can probably get away with still calling me ‘hime’ like the little ones do,” I giggled, teasing him. 

Sai looked confused, or as confused as he was going to look with his face lacking any expression whatsoever. “But you are not a princess.”

I grinned at him. “I’m about as close to one as you’re going to get around here. Even Kamome called me ‘hime’ before I ascended to my position of clan head.”

Sai looked to Kamome again for guidance. She shrugged, reaching out to run her hand over Sai’s dark hair. “You can call her whatever you’re comfortable with, little brother. Just remember to be respectful.” 

I clapped delightedly, the motion tiny and purely with the pads of my fingers, when I heard her call him that, a small gasp escaping my lungs. Iruka, who’d returned home not long before, hid his chuckle behind a paper he was grading. Kakashi and Kamome gave me something of an incredulous stare.

“It’s good to see you treating him like family,” I said by way of explanation. 

Kamome flushed a little, clearly embarrassed by the praise. “I do my best.”

The whole time, Yamato had been watching Kamome. He seemed confused, like he recognized her somehow and was trying to place how. It was then that I realized that Yamato probably didn’t realize that Kamome was a fellow member of ANBU. Kakashi and Yamato had known each other in ANBU, and everyone had known that Itachi was in ANBU because it had been kind of a big deal. But, otherwise, it was probably rare for anyone to actually know who was behind the mask until they either left or died. 

“I’m sorry, Yamato-san, I’ve not properly introduced you,” I said, suddenly playing the part of jovial hostess. “This is my cousin Kamome and her little brother Sai. Kamome, Sai, this is Senju Yamato, my daytime guard for the next…seven-ish months.” 

Kakashi’s head snapped up from the book he’d been reading at the brand spanking new family name Yamato was carting around. Sai’s eyes widened minutely, just enough to be noticeable. I heard Iruka’s pen clatter to the table. Kamome sucked in a gasp and immediately choked on it, coughing violently. Yamato, frankly, looked a bit smug. 

“Nice to meet you,” Kamome managed to say through her coughing. 

“You as well,” Yamato returned, and somehow it felt like he wasn’t just being polite. “Now, if you’ll excuse me…”

“Hold it right there,” I interrupted before he could up and leave. “Since you’re here, you might as well stay for dinner. I’m sure kaa-san has already added your portion.” 

He seemed genuinely taken aback by the offer. I couldn’t imagine Yamato was someone who was often invited to stay for dinner. He was friendly enough, but I had the distinct feeling that he didn’t really have any friends. Well, what am I good for if not offering lonely shinobi friendship?

“Well,” he said slowly, hesitantly, “I suppose it would be rude to let all that hard work go to waste.” 

 

Dinner was an interesting experience. Yamato spent the entire time being interrogated by my parents (who seemed to be under the impression I’d grabbed myself another boyfriend), and Sai managed to spend half the meal staring at Itachi like he was some Jackson Pollock painting and he wasn’t sure what to make of him. 

“This might have been a bad idea,” I whispered to myself, hiding my uncomfortable expression behind my bowl of rice.

“Your parents like to jump to conclusions recently,” Kakashi muttered in return.

“To be fair, I haven’t invited a guy my age to dinner since…you guys, honestly.” 

Kakashi hummed lightly, but said nothing else. 

“Kourubi, where did you meet Yamato-san?” tou-san asked suddenly. 

“Officially?” I asked in return. “Or unofficially?” 

My father eyed me curiously. “Both.”

“Unofficially I met him during the third round of the chunin exams in Suna,” I explained. “We ran into each other while I was heading towards the bathroom. Officially I met him just today when Tsunade-sama assigned him to be my guard for the remainder of my pregnancy.” 

Sai’s eyes flickered my way, giving me a once over. “You do not look pregnant. Pregnant women are fat.”

Kamome smacked herself in the forehead, an embarrassed groan slipping through her lips.

“Pregnant women aren’t fat, kiddo,” I said, correcting him firmly, but gently. “They’re carrying around a tiny person and after a point the human body is really not built for such a thing – hence the swelling of the belly and the crushing of the mother’s internal organs.”

If it was possible, Sai looked even paler at the implication. “That just sounds like a parasite.”

“In essence, that’s what a fetus is,” I admitted with a casual shrug. “To your point that I don’t look pregnant: I’m only a month and a half along, kiddo. It’ll be another month at least before I really start showing.”

“Does it actually crush your internal organs?” Sasuke asked, incredulous sounding.

I shrugged again. “Yeah.” 

He grimaced. “Why would anyone ever get pregnant, then?”

Another shrug. “Biological imperatives, mostly.”

My mother rolled her eyes. “Try not to sound to enthusiastic about having a child, Kourubi. Your happiness is infectious.” 

“Just because I realize pregnancy is a horror show doesn’t mean I don’t want kids,” I argued mildly. “You have no idea how jealous I was of Ryou when Umeko fell into his life. He didn’t even like kids and he was just sort of handed one. I didn’t think I’d ever have a child. Like hell I’m going to throw away the chance I’ve got…even if I’m probably going to be very uncomfortable for six months.” 

“Don’t forget about giving birth,” tou-san added, grinning evily.

I shuddered in an exaggerated manner. “Don’t get me started! Seriously, don’t. Not at the table. If I tell these kids any details, they’re sure to lose their stomachs.”

Yamato turned to Kakashi, looking seriously awkward. “Are your family dinners always like this, senpai?”

“No,” Kakashi admitted. Yamato looked relieved for a moment, but then Kakashi opened his mouth again. “Most times they’re far more boring.” 

 

Night had fallen. Yamato left several hours ago, leaving Kamome to watch from her perch on the roof. Sai seemed keen on staying the whole night with her, but Kamome had sent him home some time around nine. It was good to see her taking her responsibility seriously. And, while Sai did have some issues with speaking a bit too bluntly, it was obvious he carried some admiration for his new big sister and took the things she said to heart. It made me happy. 

I unbraided the feathers from my hair as I prepared for bed, setting them to the side. I ran a hand through the small portion of my hair that was still long, my fingers getting caught on a nasty tangle. I hissed in pain, reaching for the nearby hairbrush – only to be beat to the punch by a warmer, tanner hand. I looked up to see Iruka smiling gently, almost tenderly, down at me. 

“Let me?” 

I wasn’t about to argue, slipping off the mattress and onto the floor, a random throw pillow tucked under me to make it comfortable. Iruka sat on the mattress behind me, his fingers brushing against my jaw as he reached for my tangled hair. It sent goosebumps running down my arms. 

“Your hair has grown quite a bit already,” he said softly, just barely not a whisper, as he gently pulled the brush through my hair. “It’ll be back to how it was when we first met soon, I think.” 

I hummed quietly, enjoying the feeling of the brush carding through my hair, closely followed by Iruka’s nimble fingers. I lived for these small moments of intimacy the way that monks lived for their gods. Our relationship could just be a long string of moments like this and I’d never be unsatisfied. Sex? Who needed sex when the person you loved could brush your hair? Iruka scratched gently at my scalp and if I were a cat I would have purred in that moment. 

“How’s your back?” he asked suddenly, one of his hands running along my shoulder as the other one continued to pull the brush through my hair.

“Better than it was,” I answered. “Sometimes I can almost ignore the pain.” 

“Tsunade-sama doesn’t think your pregnancy will disrupt the healing process?”

A good question, and one I hadn’t thought about. “She didn’t say anything about it.” 

“I see.”

Now that he’d brought it up, I had a question of my own that I’d been meaning to ask. “Does it bother you?”

Iruka hummed questioningly, setting the brush aside and simply running his fingers through my hair.

“The fact I’m pregnant with another man’s baby,” I clarified. “That’s usually a deal-breaker for most men.”

“Most men are not in the same situation as I am,” Iruka said, his voice steady and without hesitation. “I always knew that if we continued on like we were, at some point you’d end up carrying a child. I hadn’t imagined it would be so soon, but it was always something I’d considered a possibility. No, pretty birdie, it doesn’t bother me.”

I reached up to catch his hand, pulling it down so as to place a kiss to his palm. “I’m glad. I hope you know… I consider you just as much this child’s father as Kakashi, even if it carries his blood. And I’d feel the same about Kakashi if it were your child. And…I do hope to have your child one of these days. You…you deserve a family, Iruka.” 

He laughed softly, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of my head. “Let’s worry about the current baby before we even think about a possible next one.”

“I thought ninjas were supposed to be prepared for anything,” I teased. 

I could feel him rolling his eyes. “For combat, pretty birdie, not for hypothetical children.” 

“Well, if I’m prepared for both, doesn’t that just make me a better ninja?”

Another laugh, like Iruka couldn’t believe he was having this conversation. “Go to bed, you dingus.” 

I stood with a grin, tossing the throw pillow back onto the bed. “You’re just mad ‘cause I’m right.” 

“Bed,” he ordered with a swat to my ass. 

I yelped, glaring at him. “Fine. But remember, I’m not the one who introduced spanking to this relationship.”

Iruka sputtered, and I knew I’d won.

I beamed at him like the cat that got the canary. “Goodnight, Iruka.”

He sighed, but smiled in return nonetheless. “Good night, pretty birdie."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright. Sorry for the shortness of the chapter, I was sick as hell when writing it and I'm still not completely over it. For those of you interested, I've decided to start a collection of omakes and short stories to fill in gaps in MFAW, things Kourubi was not present for and stuff like that. I've already got one up and I plan on posting another within the week.  
> You can find it [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13451229/chapters/30832104)
> 
> Also, since we've gained a few new readers recent (hello!) I just wanted to remind y'all that this story has a [tumblr](http://melodyfromanotherworld.tumblr.com). and I've got a [twitter](https://twitter.com/thecelticpanda).
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, that's all for now. As always, let me know what you think in the comments! Thanks for reading. Love you. Bai!


	49. In Which Things Do Not Go As Planned

I did my best not to flinch against the cold of the stethoscope Hyuuga Nami pressed against my belly. The end of my first trimester was creeping up on me, and the infamous baby bump was just barely starting to show. 

“Would it not be more efficient to simply use medical jutsu?” I asked, staring up at the ceiling. 

Nami waited until she was done listening with the stethoscope before answering. “At this point, the fetus is starting to develop its chakra network. Any foreign chakra could be detrimental to its development. Until the sixth month of pregnancy, it is best to use more civilian methods of examination.” She offered a hand to help me sit up. I took it. 

“Ah…right. I probably should have known that.” I couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed. I wondered if that was common knowledge in the shinobi world.

“It’s fine,” she said, patting my shoulder sympathetically. “New mothers aren’t expected to know everything. Honestly, even if this was your third child, I still wouldn’t expect you to know everything.”

That made me feel a bit better. “So…how’s it doing in there?” 

“There’s a faint heartbeat, as expected,” she said, marking a few things down in my file. “The fetus’ circulatory system has developed well from what I can tell. At this point, you’re probably safe from the fear of miscarriage. At least for the most part. You still need to be careful, of course.”

“Of course,” I agreed. 

“Next time you come in, we’ll do an ultrasound.” 

I blinked at that. I hadn’t realized the shinobi world had that kind of technology. Then again, if they had rudimentary computers, who was to say they didn’t have ultrasounds?

Nami smiled serenely at my obvious confusion. “Don’t be so surprised. You’re not the only one who knows the power of sound.”

I laughed a little to cover the resurging embarrassment. “Right, of course. Though, I must admit, I just imagined you’d use your Byakugan for the exams and leave it at that.”

Her serene smile faltered a little, and I realized I’d struck a nerve without meaning to. My eyes darted briefly to the headband she wore across her forehead. Medics rarely wore their headbands, especially when on assignment at the hospital. 

“Or does the head family not allow you to?” I asked, keeping my voice gentle. 

“You came to the conclusion that I’m branch family awfully fast,” Nami said, deflecting. 

“There’s no reason for you to wear your headband in the hospital,” I explained. “None of the other medics do. But…if you were trying to cover something up…”

Nami said nothing, her arms crossed tightly across her chest. Her smile was gone now. 

Best to cut off the line of conversation now. “Sorry, I’m prying. Just ignore me.”

She shifted, her arms remaining crossed but the rest of her posture loosening a little. “No. It’s fine. It’s…something most people purposefully ignore. Out of sight, out of mind, as they say.”

“That’s not fair to you, though. Or Neji. Or anyone else in the branch family,” I said, my hands clenching at my sides as my anger started to simmer. “None of what they’ve done is right, and the fact it was allowed so long is insane.” 

Nami shrugged, a defeated look on her face. “We’re a strong family. We’ve served the village well for generations with this system. They have no reason to stir up a fuss.” 

“Other than the fact it’s inhumane?” I snapped. Nami blinked, looking taken aback by my sudden anger.

Forcing my voice back down to a reasonable volume, I asked, “Does it hurt?”

“Not usually,” she answered. “It did once. My father…I don’t remember why, but he was being punished for something. I was young. And stupid. I saw my father in pain and lashed out at the man causing it. So they turned that pain on me.” 

I felt my blood boil with rage in my veins. When I next spoke, my voice was frigid. “I hate them.”

Nami’s far away look suddenly became sharply focused as she turned her gaze to me. She looked almost frightened. “I’m sorry?”

“I hate the people that did that to you and your father. I hate the people who turned against their family and branded them like cattle. They don’t deserve the power they’ve hoarded, since they seem so damned set on misusing it. I’m sorry…I can’t do anything to help you. There’s no way they’ll listen to me. I’m sorry.”

Nami smiled, the same serene expression from before returning with a pale flush on her cheeks. “It’s not your job to save me, Kourubi-san. Frankly, it’s not your job to save anyone. The pitiful ones of the world are not your responsibility, though I know you’ve proclaimed your intention to take responsibility for them many times.”

“Someone has to,” I said, my anger returning to its simmering state. “If the world won’t care for them, then I will. Orphans shouldn’t be thrown to the streets. Suspicion should not be how we interact with others. And families should not brand their own. I refuse to accept the unfairness we’ve heaped upon the world. I wish others would, too.”

Nami stared at me for a long moment, the silence of the room heavy on my shoulders. I watched as thoughts I had no way of reading flickered behind her eyes. Hyuugas were always so hard to read, especially when they subscribed to that whole ‘stoic’ thing that seemed to be popular in old, well-to-do shinobi families. The parallels between them and the Uchiha were staggering…including how they broke their heirs and turned them into complete messes. I loved Hinata dearly, but the poor child was only now starting to piece herself back together. 

Finally, she spoke.

“It seems Neji and Hinata-sama were right in their admiration of you,” she said. “I’m a little old for such grand ideals, but the younger ones need something like that, I think. Thank you, for showing them there is something more to aspire to in this world than what the clan set before them.”

“I thought you said the pitiful weren’t my responsibility.” 

She smirked. “They aren’t. But since you’re running around being inspiring anyway, I might as well thank you for it.”

I couldn’t help but be confused by that, and my face must have shown it because Nami hid a girlish giggle behind her hand. 

“Don’t worry about it,” she said, waving away my concerns with a casual motion.

Like her saying that was going to stop me. “Imma worry about it.” 

“Well, alright. But as your doctor, I must warn you that stress is bad for both you and the baby.” 

 

Yamato was waiting for me outside the exam room. Kakashi was off on some short mission with Sasuke and Sakura, and Iruka was back in the classroom. Which was fine by me. I couldn’t expect them to just wait around for nine months at home. It was nice, however, to have someone around. 

“Thanks for waiting out here,” I said, shutting the door behind me. “I appreciate the privacy.” 

“Of course,” he agreed easily, falling into step beside me. “It’s a shame that senpai or Umino-san couldn’t be here.”

“It’s just a check-up,” I said, shrugging. “They don’t really need to be here for this. Though, they’ll probably want to be here next time. Nami says we’ll be doing an ultrasound. We’ll be able to see the baby. I think they’d like to be here for that.” 

Yamato hummed in agreement. I wondered, as we walked back to the house in silence, what he thought of the situation. I knew he admired Kakashi, to the point that he was ready to threaten me in Suna. I assumed he didn’t have very many friends, or at least not many people he considered a friend. 

“Do you know where senpai is?” he asked suddenly, perhaps out of some need to fill the silence.

“On some short courier mission,” I said. I didn’t know the details, but Sasuke said something about it being a C-ranked mission. Nothing to worry about. “They should be back sometime this afternoon. But knowing them and the trouble they get into, who knows.” 

Yamato hummed in acknowledgement again. That seemed to be how most conversations with Yamato ended. He was polite enough, surely, but he didn’t seem to be able to converse very easily with others. I blamed ANBU. No one ever came out of ANBU with good people skills. 

Itachi was alone in the living room when we returned. Perhaps now would be the most opportune time to discuss things with him. I hadn’t really gotten a chance to do so since I’d brought him home. 

I turned to Yamato. “If I could have a moment alone with Itachi…”

He eyed Itachi suspiciously, but nodded either way. Itachi had yet to do anything that would warrant any real caution. Still, his reputation was hard to shake. Yamato stepped out onto the engawa, sliding the shoji shut. The thin paper doors didn’t do much to stop him from listening in, but the illusion of privacy would have to do. 

I took a quick detour upstairs to grab one of my brushes. Itachi seemed to be waiting for me when I returned, starring expectantly at me. 

“Would you mind if I brushed your hair while we talked?” I asked, waving the brush in my hand a little to emphasize the offer. “I find it’s easier to talk when both people are doing something relaxing.” I hoped he wouldn’t notice I was pulling shit out of my ass. I had no proof this would actually make him more talkative, but I was willing to give it a try. 

He simply nodded, not exactly a great start, and moved to sit on the floor, a small cushion tucked under him. I slipped in behind him to sit on the couch. I pulled the tie from his hair, holding back my awe as it flowed like silk down his back. How he’d managed to keep his hair this healthy I had no idea. 

I picked up the brush and began pulling it gently through his hair. It moved smoothly through it, not a single tangle in sight. Something about the situation made me want to sing, but I’d come to talk. So I would talk.

“You’ve been with us quite a while now,” I said gently. “I was wondering if you’d done any thinking about your place here.”

Itachi was silent, his eyes focused on some invisible thing in the middle-distance. I held back a sigh of disappointment.

“You don’t have to know,” I assured him. “Or be done thinking. I was just hoping you had some musings to share with me…so that maybe I could help you.” 

More silence. Maybe this was a mistake. It didn’t help that I wasn’t facing Itachi, so reading him was even more difficult. There seemed to be a lack of tension in his shoulders, but he still seemed to be spacing out. I felt my shoulders sag in disappointment. 

“Kourubi-san.”

My head shot up at the sudden sound of Itachi’s deep voice. “Yes?” 

Itachi glanced back at me out of the corner of his eye, his head only barely moving. “I appreciate your hospitality. But I do not have a place in this clan. It is not mine. And it never will be.” 

My hands stopped. I had known from the beginning that Itachi would be far more reluctant to be part of the family than Sasuke was. Itachi had far more memories of his clan than Sasuke did, felt a greater responsibility to them because of what he’d done…what Danzo had forced him to do. Sasuke, at the very least, saw me as family, even if he didn’t feel the same attachment towards anyone outside my household. He had some fondness for those I was close to, but I had a feeling that was more because of their connection to me than anything else. 

But to have everything I was offering be so blatantly rejected hurt. I had wanted Itachi to feel the same familial connection that Sasuke did…or at the very least feel at home with us. It seemed that he had no intention of even trying.

“I see…” 

“And if I may say,” he interrupted, “I am disturbed by your treatment of Sasuke.”

I flinched back from him as if burned, the brush falling to the floor in my haste to pull away. What…what had I done? Was something wrong with Sasuke? Had I not noticed? I poured over my memories, desperate to figure out where I’d gone wrong. I only vaguely registered the sound of the front door opening or the sounds of approaching footsteps. 

Itachi stood, turning to face me with a dour expression, his Sharingan blazing. “He is too much of a Karasuno. He dresses in Karasuno clothes, carries Karasuno weapons, uses Karasuno techniques…you even go so far as to have him wear your feathers. You have stripped everything Uchiha from him.”

His accusatory tone made my blood boil. What the fuck did he expect? I wasn’t an Uchiha, and knew nothing of their traditions. How did he expect me to help Sasuke live like an Uchiha when there was no one left to help me know what that even meant?

“It was his choice to follow our traditions,” I said, my voice cold and composed despite the anger simmering just below the surface. “He’s his own person, he can make his own decisions.”

Itachi’s lips twitched downwards, his frown deepening. “He is a child. And you manipulated him.”

The accusation punctured my chest like a blade. And from the invisible wound my anger came pouring forth. I leapt from the couch, the suddenness of it forcing Itachi back a step. 

“Manipulation? Do you even hear yourself or is your head so far up your own ass that everything is muffled? Nothing, _nothing_ , I did comes anywhere close to nearly driving him into the arms of Orochimaru by making him think he lacked fucking ‘hatred’ because of some fucking complex. Manipulation! Don’t accuse me of manipulation, you hypocritical, self-aggrandizing, toxic bastard! I gave him what he needed to grow into a healthier person. And look how much he’s flourished! He has friends! A support system! A _family_! I wanted to do the same for you, but apparently you’re too good for it. Did you even consider it a possibility?” 

Itachi leveled me with a hard stare. I knew in that moment he hadn’t. I could feel the tears spilling over my cheeks, cold in the winter air that leaked in through the shoji. Anger suddenly chilled into despair, and I collapsed back onto the couch, sobbing into my hands. 

“I just wanted to make you happy,” I hiccupped through the tears. “I thought…I thought bringing you home, so you could reconcile with him…I thought it would make things better.”

“How can I be happy seeing my brother abandon everything our family held so dear?” 

Kakashi’s voice cut through the air like lightning. “That’s enough.” 

I looked up to see Kakashi standing in the doorway, hand clenched so tightly on the doorframe for a moment I thought he’d crack the wood. Sasuke stood beside him, confusion and distress furrowing his brow. He looked from me to his brother, and then down to the floor, a stray hand reaching up to touch the feathers in his hair. 

And that twisted the knife that Itachi’s words had plunged into my heart. 

“Itachi, I think it would be best if you stayed somewhere else for a few days,” Kakashi said tersely. “Kourubi doesn’t need this kind of stress right now.” 

“And where would I go?” Itachi asked with an equally curt tone. 

“Sai says Kiui has a spare room,” Sasuke blurted, unable to look at anyone. “He stayed there once when Kamome went on a mission.” 

Kakashi nodded. “That will do fine. Sasuke, go tell Kiui-san about her temporary housemate.” 

Sasuke nodded sharply, marching back down the hall towards the front door. Kakashi’s cold grey eye never left Itachi’s form. 

“Go pack up your things. I wouldn’t suggest packing light. You’ll probably be over there a while.” 

Itachi moved without a word, unwilling to fight Kakashi. He probably knew that Yamato would jump in the moment he heard physical conflict. In fact, now that the arguing had faded, Yamato stepped back into the room, looking severely uncomfortable. 

“I’m sorry you had to hear that, Yamato-san,” I apologized, breathing deeply so as to fight back my instinct to sob. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he said. He shuffled his feet awkwardly for a moment. “Are you okay?” 

I didn’t even bother trying to hide how not okay I was. I shook my head, hiding my face in my hands once more. How had I failed so utterly? Was it because I’d left him to his own devices? I thought that was what was best for him. Apparently I was mistaken. And now he’d planted doubt in Sasuke’s heart. Selfish bastard.

Or maybe I was the selfish one. I had only meant to give Sasuke the family he was sorely lacking. Was…was that wrong of me? I didn’t want to think it was…but we rarely want to admit our own faults. 

 

Sasuke returned with Kiui, my cousin looking halfway to livid when she arrived. She hugged me tightly when she saw me, affection I wasn’t used to receiving from her. Sasuke must have told her something, though what it was I’d probably never know. 

Kiui spoke sharply to Itachi, “Let’s go, troublemaker. Kourubi needs some time without stress and you clearly need some sense beat into you.”

“Be kind to him, Kiui,” I requested softly, though the way Itachi’s lips twitched told me he heard anyway. “He has his reasons for hating me.”

“Stupid reasons, I bet,” Kiui grumbled. She leveled me with an appraising look. I must have looked miserable, because she sighed and stuffed her hands in her pockets like she always did. “Fucking fine. I won’t beat anything into him. But I can’t promise I won’t give him a damn lecture about how to treat people who love a little too hard and a little too much.” 

I tried to laugh, but it didn’t sound right, even to me. “Whatever you think is best.” 

She shook her head, clearly thrown by this new sadness that hung in my aura. She was so used to anger that this new emotion made her uneasy. 

They left, the sound of the door closing behind them felt far louder than I expected. 

“I’m sorry,” Kakashi said, his voice soft. He reached for me, pulling me gently against him. He held me like I was on the verge of shattering. “That probably wasn’t what you wanted to happen, but I couldn’t see another solution.” 

“It’s fine.” My voice sounded hollow, it reminded me of how I was after Fukuro… “You did what you thought was right. That’s all we can ever do.” 

“What happened?” he asked. 

“I…I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to know how he was feeling about his…place here. He said…he said he didn’t have a place here. That he never would. And then – ”

My throat closed around my words as the tears came back. Kakashi shushed me, rocking me gently as I struggled to breathe. 

How had everything gone so wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost 50 chapters, y'all. Hooo, boy. I still can't believe I've made it this far. Thank you for your support and I hope to hear from you in the comments down below.


	50. In Which I Can't Believe We've Made it This Far

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy _fucking shit!_ 50 chapters! I've never written anything this long in my entire life! I want to say thank you to all my readers, and especially the ones who leave comments chapter after chapter. Y'all are the ones who keep me motivated. Thank you all so much, and I hope you'll stick with me to the end.  <3

“And you just let him leave?” 

I flinched at the incredulous tone of Mai’s words. I should have expected this kind of reaction when I told her and Ryou what had happened. It wasn’t often that I reacted so meekly to confrontation, not anymore anyway. 

“I didn’t know what else to do,” I said, leaning down to stretch out my calves. “I was mainly concerned about Sasuke. However Itachi feels, Sasuke has flourished with my family. To cause him to doubt his own happiness is wrong. Kakashi was right, I think, to ask Itachi to leave.” 

“Perhaps,” Ryou mused. “But I’m pretty sure everyone’s relationship with him has taken a major step back.”

“We hadn’t taken very many steps forward in the first place,” I said, anxiously running a hand through my hair. “I think that’s probably my fault. I wanted to give him the space he needed to figure things out for himself. Apparently that didn’t work.” 

“I don’t think forcing him would have worked either,” Mai said, flopping down in the shade of the training ground’s tree. “Just from what I know of him as a person.”

“It definitely wouldn’t,” I agreed, pulling my arm across my chest for another stretch. 

“Well, I guess at this point the only thing you can do is hope Kiui-senpai can talk some sense into him,” Ryou said. 

I sighed heavily; the idea didn’t sit right with me, but there was little else I could do at this juncture. “I guess so.” 

Mai looked up into the branches of the tree she was under. “So…is he going to do anything other than watch?”

Yamato glared down at her. “He has a name, you know.”

“I’m sure if Yamato-san wanted to join us he would,” I said with a laugh, launching into a kata and feeling just a little bit lighter.

 

“Are you ready?” Nami asked as she finished spreading distressingly cold jelly over my belly. 

Kakashi wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I nodded, my eyes fixating on the screen. I winced a little as Nami pressed the ultrasound wand down onto my belly with more pressure than I’d expected. Iruka’s warm hand wrapped comfortingly around mine. 

“The fetus should only be about fifteen centimeters long,” Nami said, continuing to move the wand around to get a good view of the baby. “But it should actually look a little like a person at this point…ah, there it is.” 

Sure enough, as she pressed down a little harder on my belly, a blurry, baby-like shape appeared on the screen. Kakashi’s hand tightened around my shoulder.

“There’s your baby,” Nami said softly, pressing a few buttons on the keyboard. “We can’t really tell the gender at this point, but we should be able to tell soon. You should think about whether you want to know the gender beforehand or not.” 

I nodded, feeling a little dumbfounded. Somehow, knowing you had another life inside you and seeing that other life felt totally different. I squeezed Iruka’s hand, unable to do much else. 

“Ten fingers and ten toes,” Nami announced. “All in all, it looks like a perfectly healthy fetus. Congratulations.” 

I could feel Iruka’s hand trembling, drawing my attention. Tears glimmered at the corners of his eyes; he seemed to just barely hold them back. 

“Iruka?”

His breath hitched at the sound of my voice, a tear falling free before he had the chance to wipe them away. “That’s our baby.” 

Nami looked like she wanted to correct him, but a single warning look from me quieted her. I squeezed Iruka’s hand once more, rubbing my thumb across the back of his hand.

“That’s our baby,” I agreed. 

I looked up at Kakashi, hoping to gauge his reaction. I inhaled sharply at the sight of his Sharingan as it fixed itself on the image on the screen. I leaned into him, catching his attention. His wide, awestruck gaze softened as our eyes met. He pulled his headband back down over his eye, a small smile just barely visible behind his mast. He pulled me closer, and his lips brushed my hairline.

“That’s our baby.” 

 

The council meeting had gone well, though that might have been because there was little to talk about. Despite my current predicament, little seemed to have changed in the clan. Even the elders appeared to have little to say about the pregnancy…at least so far. Perhaps they were just glad that I wasn’t like my mother, and they wouldn’t have to worry about whether or not the clan would have an heir. 

The meeting was adjourned, but I called out to Kiui as she was leaving – which ended up catching Kasasagi and Kamome’s attention as well. Sasuke, probably realizing what I wished to talk about, quickly left with the barest of excuses, a look of discomfort on his face. 

“Do you want us to leave as well?” Kasasagi asked quietly, her hands fiddling with some invisible thing like she needed a knitting needle in her hand. 

“Technically, I can’t leave,” Kamome said. “I’m on guard duty right now.” 

“You can stay, Kasasagi,” I said, waving off her concerns. “You might as well know about this, too.” 

They sat again, much closer this time than they usually did when the official meetings were taking place. Kasasagi wore her usual expression of motherly concern. Kiui already looked tired, her hand fiddling with the box of cigarettes in her pocket. Kamome’s face was unreadable. 

I turned to Kasasagi first. “You’re aware that Itachi is no longer living with me, yes?”

Kasasagi nodded. “I knew that much, but you’ve not told me why.”

“Because he was an ass to her, and she doesn’t need that kind of stress right now…or ever,” Kiui snapped, clearly feeling angrier about the situation than I was. 

“I had hoped to speak with him about what he felt his place in the clan was,” I explained. “I…was told he had no place in the clan. And then he accused me of manipulating Sasuke for some reason. Kakashi intervened and said he should leave. Sasuke knew Kiui had a spare room…so that’s who he went to.” 

“Manipulating him?” Kasasagi echoed, concern etching furrows between her brows. “For what end? And how?”

“I don’t even know!” I said, exasperation making my voice louder than I meant for it to sound. “Something about how I was taking away everything Uchiha about Sasuke. I don’t know.” 

Kasasagi said nothing, her frown deepening. I turned to Kiui this time.

“So I wanted to ask how he’s been…”

“Sulking,” Kiui said shortly. “He only ever comes down from the room I shoved him in for meals. So to occupy his time, I gave him books on childhood development…most of them about what trauma does to a child.” She smirked. 

I sighed heavily. “I’d rather you not try to guilt him into anything…” 

“I’m not guilting him into shit,” Kiui argued. “I’m educating him. He doesn’t seem to understand how his own actions have affected Sasuke negatively. And how important it was that you stepped in the way you did.” 

Kamome’s warm eyes met mine. “Why did you bring Sasuke into the clan?” 

The question surprised me. “Because the Hokage was simply going to throw him to the wolves. A young boy was being targeted by a very dangerous man, and I couldn’t just stand by.”

“No, that’s not what I meant,” Kamome said with a shake of her head. “That’s why you gave him shelter, but that’s not why you brought him into the clan. Protecting a child from a dangerous man is one thing, but you adopted him. You took him under your wing and made him a member of your family. You let him nest in your heart. Why?” 

I froze. There were many reasons I did that, none of which I could really explain. My gaze fell to the tatami mats beneath us, hands sliding over the slick fabric of the yukata Kasasagi had made for me to wear during my pregnancy. 

“Kourubi.” My head snapped up at Kiui’s sharp voice. “We know you know things.”

I inhaled sharply, my whole body tensing.

“You’re not exactly subtle about it,” she continued. “We don’t know how you know these things, or why, but you do. And that’s important right now. You have to be honest with us. Why did you take the boy in as you did?”

I breathed deeply, forcing my shoulders to relax. If I could trust anyone, it’d be these three. I’d had their support from the beginning. Besides…I didn’t have to tell them everything. They didn’t need to know the how…just the why. The why I could give them.

“Sasuke…has always craved power. For various reasons. To kill his brother, to restore his clan. Though I’m not sure he understood what ‘restore his clan’ really meant at the age of twelve. Orochimaru offered him power…and if he’d actually managed to get his hand on Sasuke – if he had managed to place a curse seal on him – I don’t think he’d still be in the village. Especially if I had not intervened. That night he was kidnapped…he would have gone willingly instead. And Itachi’s actions, especially those before Naruto left, would have pushed him towards Orochimaru even faster. 

“I…I couldn’t just let him fall like that. So I did the only thing I could think of. I offered him a family to make up for the one he lost. I offered him comfort he’d not been afforded by the powers that be. And in the process I let him into my heart.”

Three sets of eyes stared at me, though none of them seemed surprised at my words. In fact, it was almost as if I’d simply confirmed what they already knew. It was…unnerving. 

“So you took in a troubled young boy,” Kiui said, “and gave him the emotional support he needed to grow into a healthier and happier individual. And in doing so, you grew to love and care about him more than you originally expected…and which part of that is manipulation again?” 

“It seems to me,” Kasasagi added, “that Itachi accused you of manipulation in order to reconcile his own actions with himself. Perhaps he is jealous of how Sasuke has grown under your care, and lashed out because of that.” 

Kamome nodded. “At the very least, he is a very broken man. And while that does not excuse his actions towards you and Sasuke, it does explain them, I think.” 

“I think he’s been so broken for so long that the idea of healing those wounds is terrifying,” I said, sadness heavy on my heart. “He’s defined himself by those wounds.” 

Kasasagi reached out and placed a warm, comforting hand on my shoulder. “Then we shall give him something else to define himself by.”

 

Five months along, and I was really starting to feel the pregnancy. It was…disconcerting to look down and see my stomach bulging the way it was. My center of gravity was off. It made training difficult. At this stage, Tsunade had introduced the chunin teams into my guard cycle. This evening it was Asuma’s team. Though, they seemed less interested in guarding me, and more interested in lounging about in my house. Then again, knowing them, the lackadaisical aura they gave off was just a front. Kamome was elsewhere on the grounds; I wasn’t sure where. Sai had shown up with her, but left soon after, having (maybe) been flustered by Ino’s blatant flirting (it was hard to tell, but I think she managed to pull some color to his cheeks). 

As it stood, we were simply talking about…nothing in particular. Somehow the topic of Ryou came up in our conversation, and Asuma piped up.

“How is it that the kid always manages to get people to buy drinks for him?” he asked, as if I would know anything about Ryou getting free drinks from people. “I’ve never even seen him talk to them and they start sending drinks his way.”

“God, sensei, it’s because he’s hotter than a fire jutsu on a summer day,” Ino said, rolling her eyes so hard I thought they might fall out of her head. “Anyone with a working pair of eyes could see that. Right, Kourubi-senpai?”

“I don’t really feel comfortable talking about my teammate’s perceived hotness…” 

Five bodies came crashing into the garden from somewhere above. Kamome was one of them, her tanto plunged into the stomach of a man in dark reds and browns. Asuma and his team were moving before I could even stand, Ino gathering me up and herding me further into the house. My mind went wild, trying to calculate where everyone was. Sasuke was out on a late night patrol with Mai and a few other chunin. Iruka had been caught by a double shift at the mission desk and wouldn’t be home until midnight at the earliest. Tou-san and kaa-san were away somewhere else in the compound. 

Kakashi.

Where was Kakashi?

He’d been gone for days now. On a mission, I was sure of it. But, I had no details; he hadn’t given me any. He always told me at least something…

Unless he couldn’t. Because even I wasn’t allowed to know the details of his ANBU missions. 

Rage filled me. These men were obviously from Iwa; their clothes gave away that much even if they were sans headbands. Tsunade hadn’t lied about the Hatake clan having enemies. And now those enemies had come knocking down my door. They had to have known Kakashi wasn’t here. Probably waited for days before making their move. 

I wrenched myself from Ino’s grip, marching towards the fighting. My hand flew through a series of hand signs, heat burning in my lungs. 

“Move!” I shouted as fire spilled over my lips, flying through the air with deadly purpose. 

Asuma and Kamome threw themselves out of the way, Asuma grabbing Shikamaru and Chouji on his way down. Fire, brilliant red and orange, consumed the men from Iwa, filling the air with the stomach-turning smell of burning flesh. But the fire’s heat was nothing on the scorching rage that roared in my chest. 

I whirled about before the fire was even done burning, before the men had even stopped screaming, and marched out of the house. Kamome followed, leaving Asuma and team to call for a clean up team, as I stormed through the village. People threw themselves out of my way, my killing intent leaking out so strongly I ended up with a trail of shinobi following after me at a distance – that night’s patrols. 

I threw open the doors of the tower, pushing past each and every shinobi and civilian that tried to delay me. It was disgustingly easy – no one wanted to hurt a pregnant woman, especially not one who carried the potential heir of two clans. 

Tsunade, as I expected, sat in her office with Shizune over her shoulder. It looked like she’d been waiting for me for a time, a half-done pile of paperwork next to her. She must have sensed my killing intent as I entered the building, if not long before then. 

“Karasuno,” she said in greeting, her whole body tense – one wrong move on my part from throwing her desk at me.

I was far beyond pleasantries at this point. Trying would only enrage me further. I was here for answers, and I was going to get them.

_“Where is Kakashi?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, right now I want to say if you're binging this story, now is the time to take a break. Go get a snack and a glass of water, go to the bathroom, that kinda thing. Consider this your intermission. 
> 
> Also, I'd like to announce that I've made a discord server! You can find the tumblr post about it [here](http://melodyfromanotherworld.tumblr.com/post/171236684893/i-have-a-discord-server-now) and that will include a link to join the server if you'd like. You can come talk with me (and my beta and each other) not just about mfaw and naruto but other fandom stuff too (or non-fandom stuff like music and dungeons and dragons). I also plan on posting the Sex Jam polls there instead of on tumblr if I get enough people joining, so you can help me choose the next celebration smut! 
> 
> Anyway, I'd like to say one more thank you to all of you for sticking with me for fifty chapters, and I hope you'll stick with me til the end.


	51. In Which We Reach an Understanding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody, sorry for the lack of update last time round. I was dealing with some personal stuff and then my internet was out for five days so I couldn't update even if I was feeling up to it. I always announce if there's not going to be an update on my tumblr and on my discord (I'll link those down below) so as to not blindside folks. 
> 
> Anyway, I'm back, and this chapter is full of feels, so I hope you enjoy!

_“Where is Kakashi?”_

I could feel the boiling tension the room – the clashing of my blazing rage and Tsunade’s iron will. Footsteps clattered behind me as Kamome and what sounded like at least two others scrambled through the office behind me. I didn’t bother turning to see who had joined her. My eyes never left Tsunade’s. 

“You don’t have the authorization to know that,” she said, her voice clear and aggravatingly calm. 

That told me everything I needed to know.

“You were the one who kicked up a fuss about how many enemies Kakashi had,” I spat, taking a step further into the office. Two ANBU appeared out of the darkness, hands wrapped tight around their tanto. I ignored them, taking one more step with my head held high. 

“You were the one who insisted how dangerous this all was,” I said, rage dripping from my words like heavy rain. “And yet you seem to have forgotten your own words. Kakashi does have enemies, Hokage-sama. Four of them just showed up at my home to kill me. And you’d best believe they would not have had the balls to do so if Kakashi were here!”

Tsunade stiffened, eyes widening for a moment. “The assassins…”

I gave a loud, bitter bark of laughter. “Dead, or damn near it. Unless Iwa shinobi are immune to burning to death.”

Her eyes narrowed now, and I could see the thoughts spinning ‘round her head. “Who…”

“Killed them? That’d be me,” I said, smirking as I let my pride get to me for a moment. “I may be pregnant, but that doesn’t stop me from bringing hell down on those who would hurt the ones I care about. But I shouldn’t have had to. So. I ask you again: where is Kakashi?” 

Silence met my question.

“He’s been gone for days,” I continued, frustrated with the lack of answers on top of everything else. “You were content with sending him on single-day missions before now. What changed?”

This, at least, got something out of Tsunade. “His village needed him.” 

Wrong answer.

“Because there aren’t dozens of other jonin and ANBU who could take the mission!” I shouted, sarcasm dripping from my words. “Because Hatake Kakashi is the only man who can be sent on any mission over rank B. My apologies, I had no idea we were so short on shinobi who were capable of _wiping their own asses._ ” 

“That’s enough, Karasuno!” Tsunade snapped, suddenly standing from her chair. 

“Clearly it’s not!” I argued. “Because you. aren’t. Listening! Kakashi is out there, risking his life when there are plenty of others who are just as skilled who don’t have pregnant lovers at home. And yet you chose him! And now I’m standing in front of you, telling you that you made the wrong choice! Because all the warnings you gave me about Kakashi having enemies that would target me were true. But instead of heeding them yourself, you sent the one person that could have stopped them out into the unknown!”

“Clearly, he is not the only person who could have stopped them,” Tsunade said, voice cold and sharp. “Didn’t you tell me you killed them?”

“You misunderstand me.” And still my eyes never left hers. “I may have killed them. But if Kakashi was here it never would have happened in the first place. If you had listened to me, you would have known that.” 

Tsunade looked like she was about to argue, but, to my honest surprise, the fight slowly drained from her eyes. She hadn’t realized, or so I supposed, that she’d ignored, or at least didn’t hear, part of what I’d said. She sat back in her chair, inhaling deeply in an attempt to reign in her emotions. I did the same. 

“He reported in last night,” she told me, voice low and tired. “He’ll return by tomorrow evening.”

“And what will you do once he does?” I asked, voice firm but quieter. Tsunade had recognized her mistake; now it was time to see how she would rectify it. 

Tsunade sat back, her eyes flittering over the papers on her desk as she considered her choices. “I’ll limit his missions for the time being, none that would take any longer than two days. And none over A rank. Would that be acceptable to you?” 

“Yes, Tsunade-sama,” I said, bowing slightly. “Thank you for your consideration.” 

Tsunade snorted. “Don’t act like you wouldn’t have killed me two minutes ago if you thought you had the chance.”

“Why would I do that?” I asked, a wry smile on my lips. “You’re the only person reasonable enough to recognize her mistakes after I’ve shouted them at you. Any other Hokage before you would have thrown me out the moment I raised my voice.”

“You can’t keep doing that, I hope you know,” Tsunade warned, sounding all the world like a mother talking to a petulant child. Given my previous actions, I couldn’t blame her for that. “One of these days I’ll stop entertaining your tantrums.”

I simply smiled. “Hopefully by that day I won’t need to throw them anymore.”

 

Kakashi returned home as expected, appearing in a swirl of leaves in our back garden just as the sun was beginning to set over the trees. He said nothing for a long while, his gaze fixed on me. He looked exhausted, heavy shadows under his eye. He seemed troubled, like he wanted to apologize for something but wasn’t quite sure how, or what even to apologize for. I smiled at him, and stood, extending a hand out to him.

“Sweetheart you look a little tired,   
When did you last eat?  
Come in and make yourself right at home,  
Stay as long as you need~”

Kakashi didn’t bat an eye at my song, reaching out to take my hand. His grip was loose, barely there, a testament to how tired he truly was. I paused to let him slip from his sandals before leading him into the house proper. 

“Tell me, is something wrong?  
If something’s wrong, you can count on me~” 

I reached up with my free hand to cup his cheek, my chest aching as he pressed into it, desperately seeking comfort. 

“You know I’ll take my heart clean apart,  
If it helps yours beat~” 

Kakashi gave a tiny, pained noise at my words. He seemed to try and speak, though nothing came. I smiled gently, moving to unzip his flak vest and remove it from his shoulders. He made no move to stop me, though he also made no move to help either. 

“It’s okay if you can’t find the words,  
Let me take your coat and this weight off of your shoulders~”

I tucked the flak vest away in a nearby closet. Kakashi simply stood and watched, like he felt alien in our home. I returned to him, once again taking him by the hand and leading him deeper into the house. 

“Like a force to be reckoned with,  
A mighty ocean or a gentle kiss~”

I stood on my toes to press a kiss to his eyelid, feeling his breath hitch as his chest pressed against mine. 

“I will love you with every single thing I have~”

I herded him towards the couch, pulling him down to sit with me. Without much prompting, he let his head fall into my lap. One hand settled on his chest, feeling the beat of his heart. The other threaded through his hair, the motion as soothing to him as it was to me. 

“Like a tidal wave, we’ll make a mess,  
Calm waters if that serves you best,   
I will love you without any strings attached~”

I felt his heartbeat stutter under my hand. Clearly, I did not tell him how much he meant to me often enough if such a thing could surprise him. Or maybe that would always continue to surprise him, no matter how often I said it. 

“It’s okay if you can’t catch your breath,  
You can take the oxygen straight out of my own chest~”

Kakashi reached up to grip the hand that lay on his chest, squeezing it tightly. His eye met mine, a shining flicker of affection peeking though the cloud of exhaustion. I smiled, but it must have been a sad smile, as the affection quickly feel away to be replaced with a look of concern.

“I know exactly how the rule goes,  
Put my mask on first~”

“Kou-cha—“

“No I don’t want to talk about myself~”

I let my song interrupt him. This. This was my greatest hypocrisy – the fact that I demanded openness from him when I could never give him the same in return.

“Tell me where it hurts~”

Kakashi tried to sit up, and it took all my strength to try and keep him from doing so. Even then, he slipped from my lap, sitting beside me and staring at me with such a gentle, worried gaze. I didn’t deserve such a thing.

I settled a hand on his chest once more, desperate for some kind of contact.

“I just want to build you up, build you up,  
Til you’re good as new~”

“Kou-chan…”

Again, I interrupted him.

“And maybe one day, I’ll get around,  
To fixing myself, too~”

That…was an impossibility. There was nothing I could do to fix myself. I didn’t even know how I came to be this way in the first place. I would wear a body – a life – that wasn’t mine to the end of my days. 

“I don’t even know where to start,  
Already tired of trying to recall how it all fell apart,  
I just want to love you, to love you, and,  
I just want to learn how to somehow be loved myself~”

Another impossibility. I wasn’t the one who was loved. It was Kourubi – this person I could only pretend to be. As much as I was the one who loved them, the reality was they could never love me. 

But this wasn’t about me. This was about Kakashi, who had pulled me against him, cradling me against his chest. His shirt was already stained with my tears. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. I was the one who was meant to cradle him, to assure him of my love for him, to let him know he wasn’t the one I had been angry with. 

I pulled back, reaching up to smooth my hands over his cheeks. I smiled through the tears, hoping that it looked as reassuring as I wanted it to.

“Like a force to be reckoned with,  
A mighty ocean or a gentle kiss,  
I will love you without any strings attached~”

I kissed him once more, through his mask. With how vulnerable we both were at this moment, it felt wrong to remove one of his shields. He needed it, like how I needed my songs. It was easier to express such terrible feelings when you didn’t have to use your own words. 

“What a privilege it is to love,  
A great honor to hold you up~”

“Kourubi,” Kakashi whispered, “That’s enough.” 

The song cut short, my whole body stiff. Did I do something wrong? Was it too much? I felt panic grip my chest and send a wave of cold radiating out. Kakashi shushed me gently, pressing a kiss to my head.

“No, no, I’m sorry, don’t freeze up on me.” His voice was soft, his hands gentle as he pulled me close once more. “Thank you, for trying to reassure me. But…I need to say my piece.”

I nodded, words caught in my throat. 

“I…am frightened,” he said, so softly I almost didn’t hear him. “I’m scared that I can’t be the kind of father – the kind of man – you need me to be. I thought, if I can’t do that, then I could at least provide for you and the child as best I can. That’s why I took the mission. And in the end, my cowardice put you in danger. I’m sorry.” 

Provide? Monetarily? I sighed to keep myself from laughing at the ridiculousness of it all.

“Kakashi, what on earth made you think I’d want your money?” 

Kakashi blinked at me, taken aback by my words. 

“Even if you offered it to me, I’d turn it away,” I said. “I have no want, nor need, for your money. But, believe me, I understand your fear. You think I know any better than you that I will be the kind of mother our child needs? I am as frightened of this as you are. But…I would rather us face that uncertainty together. I think that would be far better for our child, and for us, don’t you?

Besides, I think you sell yourself short. I think you’ll make a fine father.” 

Kakashi gave a half-hearted laugh. “Well, it’s good to know you have some faith in me, after all I’ve done.”

“I was never not going to forgive you,” I assured him. “Now, if you were to pull this kind of stunt again…not that Tsunade’s new rules would let you.”

“Yes, she’s told me as much,” Kakashi said, laying his head on my shoulder. “Those tantrums are going to get you killed one of these days.”

“It’s only a tantrum when there’s not a good reason for them,” I said, grumbling a little. “And I always have a damn good reason.” 

“You might,” Kakashi agreed. “But that doesn’t mean people like being yelled at.” 

I sighed dramatically. “Fine, fine. I’ll try to be nicer about things when I’m mad.” 

Kakashi smiled a little. “And I’ll try not to run away anymore.” 

I settled into his chest, wrapping my arms around him as best I could with an increasingly large belly in the way. “Sounds like a deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featured song:
> 
> [Two by Sleeping at Last](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEI5-3M_uLg)
> 
> Help my choose who to write for the next milestone Sex Jam fic [by voting in this poll](https://strawpoll.com/2hbkhpe6)
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://melodyfromanotherworld.tumblr.com/)
> 
> [Link to the discord here](http://melodyfromanotherworld.tumblr.com/post/171113014503/i-have-a-discord-server-now)


	52. In Which I Clear Something Up

Seven months in, it seemed that I was going to get away scot-free as far as my clan was concerned. 

And then it was suddenly very clear I wasn’t.

Someone, I didn’t think it was my mother but I couldn’t be sure, had arranged a surprise ‘baby shower’ of some kind for me among the clan. I was called down the stairs to find the living and audience rooms full of people. The suddenness of it all made the crowd even more overwhelming that it would have been otherwise. I was crowded by overly excited aunts, cousins, and even a few uncles, all of them pushing to be closer to me. Some reached out to touch my belly without permission, and it took all of my self control not to smack the hands away. Kakashi and Iruka, bless their souls, started pushing away reaching hands for me – Iruka politely, but firmly, insisting that everyone ask before touching me; Kakashi simply glared at any who tried. 

“Kourubi-sama, have you decided on a name yet?” one voice asked from my periphery. 

“We have not,” I said loudly to be heard over the noise.

“What about the nursery?” a nearby cousin asked with an off-putting grin. “Have you finished that yet?”

“Uh, almost?” 

“Do you have any guesses what sort of bird the child will have?” Kiui’s father asked. “I assume it would have a crow, or perhaps a raven.”

I glanced Kakashi’s way. I…hadn’t actually mentioned this to him. Well, if not now, then never.

“Actually,” I said, “I have decided that this child will be the Hatake heir. As such, they will not be signing the corvid’s contract.” 

There was a heavy silence. I could feel Kakashi’s staring at the back of my head. I could see kaa-san and tou-san on the other side of the room. I almost expected them to be displeased with me, but they seemed more curious than anything.

“The Hatake clan is in far more need of an heir than the Karasuno clan. Besides, I am only twenty. It is clear that my case is far different than my mother’s. There is plenty of time for another child, a Karasuno heir.” 

Several people looked like they were ready to start shouting. Kiui’s father, looking suspicious, spoke up first.

“And what happens if you do not have another child?”

I shrugged. “There are plenty of young cousins who could take up the mantel. If you’re looking to keep it in Tsuru’s line, there’s always Tsugumi or Kakesu or even Kiui, if she wanted to.” 

Kiui made a cutting motion across her throat, looking half terrified of the idea. I couldn’t help but laugh a little at her panic. “Okay, not Kiui then. Still, the clan is thriving. There is no worry about finding someone to take on as my heir should things not turn out. The clan will be fine. Trust me.” 

Kiui’s father (Kiji, that was his name) stared at me for a short while, as if trying to read my intentions. Eventually, he sighed, scratching at the back of his neck. “I suppose you’re right…but what are we going to do with all this?” He gestured at the pile of bird-themed baby gifts.

I simply smiled. “Ravens and wolves are known to have a special relationship. I’m sure the baby will be happy to have some black birds to watch over them.” 

I could hear angry grumbles, but fewer that I’d expected, and no one seemed keen on yelling at me. Even Kiji, who’d gotten right up in my face last time, seemed…fine with my answer. Not happy, exactly, but certainly not angry either. Perhaps what Shinonome said to them all that time ago was finally starting to set in. 

 

It was a few hours before I managed to get Kakashi and Iruka alone. Most of the guests had left by that point, and those who hadn’t had been herded into the genkan by my mother for whatever lingering conversation they were having. I managed to get the two of them out onto the engawa to explain the announcement I’d made.

“I’d meant to bring it up to you earlier,” I said, “but there never seemed to be time for it.”

“It’s fine,” Kakashi said, pressing a kiss to the top of my head to reassure me. “Honestly, the thought hadn’t even occurred to me that the child could be my heir. I think I’d long since accepted that I’d probably be the last of my clan.” 

“Are you alright with it? I know I sort of decided without talking to you first…” I let my thought trail off.

Kakashi flashed me a small smile. “I’m more than alright with it. Thank you, Kou-chan.”

“It’s probably better for the next child to be the heir anyway.”

Kakashi and I turned to Iruka, who looked mildly embarrassed – like he hadn’t realized he’d said anything out loud.

“I mean, um, it would be best if there was no conflicting claims when it came to which clan the child belonged to,” Iruka said, trying to explain. “Considering your clan’s…attitude towards Kakashi and I, it would probably be best if they could not make the argument that the child wasn’t ‘Karasuno’ enough to be heir.”

He paused, his face turning pinker. “I’m, ah, working off the assumption that the next child will be mine, that is.”

I gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. I made to say something, but the sight of someone entering the garden caught my attention. As my gaze focused on familiar sunshine hair and blue sky eyes, I felt my heart swell and my stomach turn at the same time.

“Naruto?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for how short the chapter is this time, I hadn't noticed until my beta pointed it out to me. (;*△*;)  
> But I had to do it...for the cliffhanger. Next chapter will be much longer I assure you, as we deal with the fallout of this new development. 
> 
> Anyway, like always, let me know what you think in the comments. I love hearing from y'all. It always makes my day.


	53. In Which I Speak With Jiraiya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, I'm back with another chapter. Today we'll learn about what Naruto's been up to and why he's back so early. I hope y'all enjoy it. Let me know what you think in the comments. I look forward to reading them!

“Naruto?!”

Naruto stepped further into the garden, scratching at his neck nervously even as his grin threatened to blind me. “Hey, nee-chan. I’m back.” 

This wasn’t right. How long had it been? I struggled to think. Hanako had gotten married at the very start of November, just about a year after Naruto had left. Which meant…Naruto was still had a year – or just nearly – that he should be gone. What had happened? Why was he here? Where was Jiraiya?

My unsteadiness must have been plain on my face, because Naruto’s expression fell, suddenly looking confused. “Nee-chan? Aren’t you happy to see me?”

I forced a smile despite the whirling thoughts in my head. “Of course I am, sunshine. I’m just confused. What happened? You’re home so early.” I reached out for him, and he quickly met my hug with one of his own.

“Well – wait. Nee-chan, what’s up with you?” He pulled away and stared at my stomach, as if just now realizing how distended it was. “Wha--?” 

I laughed nervously. “Um…surprise? You’re going to be an uncle.” 

Naruto’s eyes widened, his jaw going slack. Then, an even brighter grin graced his face. “An uncle? I’m gonna be an uncle! Wait. Who?”

Kakashi raised his hand. “Yo.” 

Naruto scowled a little. “I should have known, you pervert.” 

I shushed him, hoping to steer the conversation back. “Why are you home, Naruto? You’re not supposed to be home for almost a year yet.” 

“Ah, well…” A hand slid through sunshine hair that was longer than I ever remembered it being in canon – though not quite long enough for feathers yet. “Pervy sage did as he promised for a while. I learned a lot in those few months. But, then he went right back to doing what he used to. Guess he figured it was far enough out that he didn’t have to worry about you showing up to yell at him again. So, I waited until we stopped in a village that looked pretty close to Konoha on the map and…I took the materials he’d been teaching me out of and ran away during one of his three-day benders. He’s probably after me, but I had a day and a half lead on him. Probably the only reason I managed to avoid him is because I didn’t stop to rest ever, and we were only a day or so away from Konoha anyway.” 

I couldn’t decide whether to be pissed at Jiraiya for going back on his promise or proud of Naruto for taking his fate in his own hands. I didn’t have the energy to be both at that moment. 

“Does Tsunade-sama know you’re back?” Iruka asked, anxiety tugging his lips into a frown. 

“Ah, no, not yet,” Naruto admitted. “I wanted to come straight home…and see you all. I’ll go…but I want to see Sasuke and –“ he paused. I watched as he glanced into the house, as if searching for someone.

“Kaa-san and tou-san?” I offered.

“Yeah, k-kaa-san and tou-san,” he said with a small nod. I felt my heart swell. Unlike Sasuke, Naruto had not been around long enough to find out if it was okay to treat my parents as his own. I reached out and took his hand in mine.

“Let’s go see them, then, before we rush you off to Tsunade.”

I led him by the hand into the house, Kakashi and Iruka right behind – the two of them whispering between themselves. I called for my parents and for Sasuke.

“Look who’s home!” I cheered as tou-san and kaa-san wandered into the room, pulling Naruto forward. 

Kaa-san gasped, one hand flying up to cover her mouth as the other reached out to grip my father’s arm in an attempt to keep balance. Naruto smiled sheepishly at them, gripping my hand a little tighter for reassurance.

“I’m home…kaa-san, tou-san.” 

Kaa-san’s shock melted into a teary-eyed smile. Tou-san wrapped an arm about her shoulders and guided her forward.

“Welcome home, son,” he said, pulling Naruto into a hug with the two of them. He locked eyes with me over Naruto’s head. I nodded in approval and he just shook his hand fondly. 

By this time, Sasuke had made his way down from where he’d been hiding from the party in his room. As tou-san and kaa-san stepped away from Naruto, the two of them locked eyes.

“Naruto?” Sasuke called, as if he, like I had, couldn’t believe that Naruto was actually here.

“Sasuke!” Naruto rushed him, wrapping him up in a hug before Sasuke could even really react. 

For a moment, I worried that Sasuke’s distaste for most forms of affection would make the scenario end poorly. But, to my surprise – and the surprise of everyone else – Sasuke laughed joyously and returned the hug. 

“You’re back!” Sasuke said with a broad grin. “I thought you wouldn’t back for months.”

“Yeah, well, stuff happened,” Naruto said, shrugging. “I’ll tell you all about it later.”

“We’ve got to find Sakura,” Sasuke insisted. “She’ll be so happy to see you’re back.” 

“What we need to do – “ I jumped at the sound of Yamato’s voice as he interrupted. He, too, had hidden himself away from the party and I’d honestly forgotten he was there. “—is report to Tsunade-sama.”

“Yamato-san has a point,” I agreed. “Tsunade-sama needs to know that Naruto is back…preferably before Jiraiya catches up. I’d rather Naruto tell his side first.” 

“We should leave now, then,” Kakashi said, already moving towards the shoe rack in the entrance. “Jiraiya-sama isn’t considered a legendary shinobi for nothing.”

Kakashi, Yamato, Naruto, and I left quickly after that, taking as many short cuts along the way as possible without taking to the roofs. No one trusted me to go bounding over rooftops in the state I was in, not even me. When we reached the tower, however, I frowned.

“Ugh, why does her office have to be at the top of the tower?” I grumbled to myself as I started up the stairs. Normally the large number of stairs didn’t bother me, but considering I was seven months along and carrying an extra four or five pounds I wasn’t used to…it was a far more daunting task. 

I could see Kakashi watching me just out of the corner of my eye, but nothing prepared me for him scooping me up into his arms. I squeaked, earning incredulous looks from several passing shinobi.

“What are you doing?” I demanded, face flushed in embarrassment. 

“It’ll be faster if I carry you,” he said plainly, though I could hear the teasing lilt to his voice. Bastard.

“If it wasn’t for the fact you’re right, I’d kick your ass for this,” I hissed, clutching at his shoulders nonetheless. 

Kakashi wasted no more time climbing the tower, seemingly unaffected by my weight. Several times as concerned shinobi asked if I was alright, to which I assured them I was –Kakashi was just being an ass. 

When we reached the top of the tower, I insisted on being put down. 

“I will not let Genma see me like this,” I said, squirming impatiently. “He’ll tell Ryou and I’ll never hear the end of it.” 

“Well, we can’t have that can we?” Kakashi teased. He set me down anyway, thankfully.

The moment we stepped through the doors into the antechamber, eyes were on Naruto. Genma jumped up from his chair, shouting in disbelief. Kotetsu did the same, Izumo tugging at his sleeve and hissing at him to shut up. Shizune poked her head out from behind Tsunade’s door to see what was causing the ruckus, her eyes going wide as she too joined in the wordless shouts of surprise. 

“What is going on out there?” Tsunade shouted from behind her. Shizune jumped out of the way as Tsunade threw open the door. Her eyes landed on the four of us, specifically on the distressingly early Naruto, and everything clicked into place in her head.

“The hell are you doing back so early, you brat?” she asked, her tone reminding me of my mother – a distinct mix of fondness and exasperation. 

“Perhaps this is something we should discuss behind closed doors, Tsunade-sama?” Yamato suggested, already herding us towards Tsunade’s office.

Tsunade nodded, returning to her desk. “Shizune, the seal.”

“I got it!” Naruto offered excitedly, his eyes focusing on a spot just beside the door that seemed no different from the rest of the wall. Once the door was closed behind us, he slapped it, the wall lighting up with previously invisible seals. Tsunade blinked owlishly at that, clearly surprised by the development.

“So Jiraiya did teach you seals,” she said, apparently pleased.

Naruto shrugged. “I mean, kinda. For a while he did. But, then a few weeks back, he decided to go back to just leaving me in the woods for hours on end, or days, depending. So, I decided to bail and come back here. Nee-chan did promise to find me a teacher if I wanted one. Besides, I finished the scroll Sasuke left me.” 

“Scroll?” Tsunade echoed, perking up. 

Naruto’s hand came to rest on the handle of the katana I’d left him. “Yeah, of kenjutsu. I’m pretty good at the Karasuno style now. I mean, I think I am. Hard to tell without someone to spar against, you know?” 

“He also stole the teaching materials Jiraiya-sama was using to teach him,” Yamato informed Tsunade. 

Tsunade glared sharply at Naruto, clearly displeased. 

“We were only half way through them!” Naruto argued. “There was no way I was gonna leave those behind!”

I laughed at that, which had Tsunade turning her glare on me. I covered my laugh as best I could with a cough, but clearly no one bought it. 

“I’m really good at seals,” Naruto continued. “Pervy Sage said so himself a few times. I just need someone to guide me through the theory. But if he’s not gonna do it, then why can’t I find someone who can?” 

Tsunade sighed heavily, rubbing at her temples. “Those books were Jiraiya’s personal possessions, Naruto.”

“He told me I could use them until I was done,” Naruto shot back. “And I’m not done with them.” 

“Naruto,” I said suddenly, an idea coming to mind, “could I see the books?”

Tsunade’s gaze shot my way once again, suspicion in her eyes. “Why?”

“I want to see if I’m right about something,” I said, taking the books as Naruto handed them over. I flipped through them in turn. They all seemed to be written in the same handwriting, which meant they should all be by the same person. There were no names in the book, at least not that I could tell. I held one of the books out for Kakashi to see. “Kakashi, does this look like Minato’s handwriting?” 

Jiraiya was known to be well versed in seals, but as far as I was aware had never made any himself. Minato, on the other hand, was famous for creating new seals and jutsu. If anyone was going to write books on seal theory – especially if those books were in Jiraiya’s possession after his death – it would be him. 

Kakashi scanned over the page, his eye widening as he went along. “No…it’s Kushina’s.” 

I froze. Kushina had completely slipped my mind in this instance – and now I was kicking myself mentally for forgetting her. Kushina was from the Uzumaki clan, who were specifically known for their seals. Of course the real sealing genius in this equation would be her. 

“Why would Jiraiya be carrying around Kushina’s sealing notes?” Tsunade asked, leaning back in her chair.

“Guilt, probably, knowing him,” I said with a shrug, passing the books back to Naruto. “And if not guilt, then probably some desire to ‘protect’ something or someone. Though if that was the case, they really should have gone into the Archive, but I might just be saying that as an archivist. Regardless of his reasons, if Kushina wrote these books, then Naruto has way more of a right to them than Jiraiya does.” 

Tsunade nodded. “I agree. My apologies, Naruto, I almost kept you from a very important part of your heritage.”

“Kushina…” Naruto murmured, a flash of recognition passing through his eyes. “That’s my mom, right?” 

“That’s right,” Kakashi said with a nod. 

Naruto stared down at the books in his hands, viewing them in a whole new light. “Wow…”

“I hate to be the downer here,” Yamato said. “But what happens when Jiraiya-sama inevitably catches up? I’m sure he’d be able to deduce where Naruto went after he left.” 

“I’m not letting Naruto go back out with him,” I said plainly. “He took Naruto with him to train him and protect him. I’ve already given Jiraiya two chances to do that and he’s failed both times.”

Tsunade sighed, sliding a little farther down in her chair for a moment before readjusting herself. “I can see this going one of two ways, and it depends entirely on what Jiraiya does. If he comes to me first, I might be able to calm him down enough that he’ll listen to your feelings on the matter. If he goes to you first, well, I can’t promise he’ll listen to you at all, especially given your usual reaction to him.” 

“Is there a way we can make him come to you first?” I asked. 

Tsunade looked thoughtful for a long moment before turning to Shizune. “Go get Shikaku. Have him wait for Jiraiya at the front gate. Tell him to bring Jiraiya to me immediately upon arrival. He may use force if necessary.”

Shizune nodded and rushed out the door, Tonton dangling from her arms. Tsunade returned her attention to us.

“I can’t promise this will work,” Tsunade said, and I could hear the apology in her words. 

“I appreciate your effort, Tsunade-sama,” I said in reply, bowing as much as my distended belly would let me. 

Tsunade grunted, falling back in her chair and rubbing at her eyes with the heel of her palms. “You better. Now get out. None of this ‘effort’ will do any good if you’re still here when Jiraiya arrives.” 

 

It was the next day before anything happened, which, frankly, was longer than I expected it to take. I had brought in my council to reintroduce Naruto to them – to officially claim him as my brother. Naruto seemed overwhelmed by the formality of the whole thing, twitching and squirming even as he tried to sit still. Ahiru seemed to find it endearing, if her delightfully airy giggles were anything to go by. 

Suddenly, there was a ruckus from the birds outside, the quiet broken by an eruption of caws. Mori and Gan came flying in through the open shoji, their feathers puffed up in panic.

“Kou-chan! He’s here. The toad man is here.”

“Well,” I said, schooling my voice into the same calm, diplomatic tone I’d heard Hanako use on multiple occasions. “If he wishes for an audience with me, he should come to the audience room.” 

Sukua, without prompting, left the room to find my parents, Mori and Gan on his shoulders. I heard murmurs between the three of them out in the hallway. They must have been spurred into action by the noise as well. I could hear footsteps descending the stairs, followed by Iruka’s voice asking a question. Kakashi’s voice followed a different set of footsteps coming from my office down the hall. I turned to the open shoji, seeing Yamato drop silently onto the engawa. His whole body was tense, and for good reason. Jiraiya was a frightening force on a good day…and this was unlikely to be a good day. 

I heard the front door open, followed by Jiraiya’s demand to know where I was. Many different voices spoke at once, making it hard to hear what anyone was saying to him. I could only assume my parents and the others were trying to calm him down. Finally, Mori and Gan cawed loudly, stopping the conversation. 

“If you wish to speak with Kourubi-sama, she will see you in the audience room,” Sukua informed him, his voice stiff and formal. 

“Fine,” Jiraiya snapped. 

The shoji into the audience room were thrown open, revealing a very displeased Jiraiya. He glowered at me, stepping into the room. I stiffened, reaching out to place at least part of myself between him and Naruto. Surprisingly, he actually sat, though the sour expression never left his face. I tried to keep my own expression impassive, though I couldn’t be sure that was the right move. 

“Why have you come here, Jiraiya?” I asked. “You should know well enough that I won’t be letting you take Naruto again.” 

Jiraiya narrowed his eyes. He shifted, and in that moment Kamome and Kiui both threw themselves in front of me, weapons partially drawn. Jiraiya held up his hands placatingly. 

“Calm down, song birds, I’m not going to hurt her. Not even going to touch her.” He reached into his vest and pulled out another two books. One looked very much like the others Naruto had stolen. The other looked entirely different, though the green color of the cover seemed familiar. 

“I’m here to give these to the kid,” he said, holding them out towards Naruto. “I know well enough how much I’ve messed up in your eyes. I’d rather not fight an entire clan if I can avoid it.”

Naruto leaned around us to take the books. “What are they?” 

“That first one was your father’s,” Jiraiya explained. “It’s his sealing notes. I always kept that one close, just in case. The other…well, consider it a thanks for being my copy editor.” 

Sure enough, the green cover was yet another Icha Icha book – the one that Jiraiya wasn’t supposed to have done until the start of Shippuden in canon. Why did he have a copy now? 

“It’s not been fully edited, of course,” he said when he saw what I was looking at. “But I figured since the kid helped me out, he could have the one and only prerelease copy.”

Naruto looked unsure of the book, probably remembering what he’d proofread. I leaned closer to him and whispered, “You can give it to Kakashi later.” 

“So…you’re not mad?” Naruto asked Jiraiya, setting the books aside.

“Of course I’m mad,” Jiraiya said with a huff. “But, I also know that fighting you and her wouldn’t help anyone. I’d rather not be hated by the up and coming leaders of every major clan in the village. Besides, no one looks good fighting a pregnant lady.” 

I couldn’t help myself. “Especially not when that pregnant lady is kicking your ass.”

Jiraiya glared at me, though it felt less out of anger and more out of respect for a good-willed jab. “Wipe that smirk off your face, Karasuno. I’m trying to make peace here.”

I frowned. If this was his attempt to make peace, then clearly he’d never given much effort into such a thing before. 

“Usually, when one attempts to make peace, they first offer an apology,” I said, my words slow and methodical, as if teaching something to a small child. 

Jiraiya, to my utter consternation, looked bewildered by my statement. “The hell do I have to apologize for?”

Now I was seething, and from the scowl on Kiui’s face and the way Kamome’s shoulders tensed I wasn’t the only one. I drew myself up, shoulders thrown back. “For breaking your promise to Naruto.” 

That, at least, shamed him a little. Enough that he broke eye contact and settled his gaze on the floor. 

“And giving him his father’s book doesn’t count,” I said, not letting him even think about using that as an out. 

“Alright! Jeez,” he snapped. He took a long, deep breath before speaking again, his eyes meeting mine once more. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” I asked sharply.

He scowled again. “For breaking my promise to Naruto.”

I was pleased with myself, but I did not smile. “Apology accepted. But you are not forgiven. And what’s more, I am not the one you should be apologizing to.”

“I can’t win with you can I?!” he shouted, throwing his hands up in the air. 

Kamome twitched at the sudden movement, drawing her blade a little more. I reached out to place a steading hand on her shoulder.

“Naruto is the one you made the promise to. Had you come in and apologized to him right out for breaking that promise, and then offered the books, I would have had respect for your attempt. But you did not. You came in here and handed him those books as if that was supposed to make up for the fact you broke your promise, left him abandoned in the woods for hours if not days at a time, and kept secret after secret from him – not to mention the fact you made a minor copyread your porn for absolutely no compensation. There are lots of things you could have done to ‘win with me,’ Jiraiya, but you never think to do them.”

I paused, watching him carefully. He was incensed, and didn’t bother to hide it. His fingers dug into his knees, to the point where I wouldn’t be surprised if he had faint bruises after this. But this, this was a specific kind of anger, one I knew fairly well. Jiraiya was angry because he felt we were punishing him unjustly. He thought he hadn’t done anything wrong. And, perhaps, from a certain point of view, he hadn’t. The original canon sure thought he hadn’t done anything wrong. But this was no longer that story, I’d made sure of that a long time ago.

“You don’t even think you did anything wrong, do you?”

“I took him away to train him, and protect him,” Jiraiya said shortly. “And that’s what I did.”

“Leaving him in the woods by himself is neither training nor protection!” I shouted, fingernails digging into the palm of my hands. 

“I was teaching him to be self-sufficient,” Jiraiya argued.

I was seething with rage once more. “He does not need you to teach him that! Or did you forget he’d been living on his own for years before either of us met him? Which should never have happened by the way. And neither, I think, should this whole incident. It seems to me you care far more about your other mission than you do Naruto.”

Jiraiya’s eyes narrowed suspiciously at that. “What do you know about my ‘other’ mission?”

I shrugged nonchalantly. “I’m an archivist, remember? Half my days are spent reading old reports and trying to find a better way to organize them…or at least they were before I was placed on leave.” My hand rubbed absentmindedly at my belly. Oh! There was a kick. 

I continued, “If you do not have the ability to both conduct your ‘research’ and train an apprentice, then you should not have attempted it. Especially not with someone like Naruto, who has had far too many figures of guidance in his life end up being…subpar to say the least. It is a shame you have just become one of those many disappointments.” 

Jiraiya…said nothing. For a long, tense moment, we all sat in silence, waiting for him to reply. He seemed deflated in a way. I wondered how long it had been since someone lectured him, since someone had called him disappointing. I imagined it’d been a long while. Since the Third Hokage at the very least. 

“I think you should go, Jiraiya-sama,” I said as gently as I could. 

He nodded, rubbing at his face tiredly. “Yeah, I probably should.” 

“You are welcome to return at a later time,” I offered, because I would be damned if I did not try to save him too. “Perhaps we could have a more productive conversation after our emotions have had time to settle.” 

He stood with a nod, a contemplative look in his eye. “Maybe.” To my surprise, he bowed. It was rare that anyone outside the clan would bow to me. And if anyone were to, I would not expect Jiraiya to be one of those people. “Until we meet again, hime.” 

I dipped my head in a facsimile of a bow. “Until then.”

 

I visited Tsunade the next day to tell her about Jiraiya’s visit. It was strange to talk to her like this, less like a national leader and more like an older sister or auntie that was there for me to confide in. She didn’t seem to mind the informality of it, listening to me near ramble as she shuffled through paperwork. 

When I finished, she turned to look at me, and she seemed a little bit sad. “It seems my interference didn’t help as much as I’d hoped.” 

“To be honest, Tsunade-sama, it went far better than I expected it to,” I admitted. 

“Maybe, but you do tend to expect the worst,” she said, not unkindly. 

I shrugged. “If I do, I’m always pleasantly surprised when things go well.” 

“I suppose so…” she said, her expression contemplative. She smiled, and it looked a little mischievous. “You know, despite how you two butt heads, he does have respect for you.” 

Jiraiya? Respect for me? Well, after the way he bowed yesterday, I could maybe believe it. “You think so?”

“At the very least, he respects what you’re trying to do,” she clarified. “After a long while in this nasty business, most find it hard to care as much as you seem to, Karasuno.” 

“That’s…terribly sad,” I said, unsure of how else to react to something like that. 

“It is,” she agreed. “But it’s a truth that we have to live with. At least, until someone shows us a better path.” She looked at me, and I felt a heaviness settle in my chest. “I think you’re already paving that path. And your precious ‘nestlings’ are following very close behind.

“I can only hope you have better luck than those who tried before you.”

 


	54. In Which The Wolves Howl

News of Naruto’s early return spread quickly, and for the next few days we were inundated with visitors. It quickly got to the point where it was overwhelming, and I was more than happy to leave with Kakashi when he asked me to go on a walk with him. 

We wandered through the village, or at the very least, it would seem like wandering to anyone else. I couldn’t help but feel that Kakashi was leading me somewhere in particular. We passed through a rarely-used side gate and into the surrounding countryside. The area felt far more rural than anything else around the village; even Inoichi’s flower patches felt more urban than wherever we were. 

Kakashi stopped us outside a large, traditional country house. A low wall surrounded the building, which had fallen into mild disrepair. Shingles were missing off the roof, the yard was overgrown, and even from where I stood outside the wall, I could see a layer of dust on the engawa. 

“Where -- ?” 

“This is my childhood home,” Kakashi said, before I could finish my question. “The last remaining holding of the Hatake clan. I couldn’t bring myself to sell it. Good thing, too. Our child needs something to inherit.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to that. I hadn’t even realized Kakashi had a childhood ancestral home. There were a lot of things about Kakashi I didn’t know. Well, I supposed it was only fair. There was plenty he didn’t know about me.

“Stay here,” he said. “This will only take me a moment.” 

He made his way through the overgrown yard and disappeared into the house, leaving me alone. Well, no, Yamato was about five feet to my left, sitting in a tree. But considering how little we said to each other, I might as well have been alone. Yamato took his job very seriously, which meant he didn’t spend much time socializing while on duty. It was admirable, in a way, even if it was unnerving. 

The child in my belly seemed to be as restless as I felt, and began squirming. As exciting as such things were for everyone else, I couldn’t exactly call the experience pleasant. I rubbed my hands over my belly, singing softly to it as if it could hear me. Maybe it could, I couldn’t be sure. 

“Words of reassurance but only if they're true  
Just some simple kindness, no vengeance from the gods  
This is all I ever wanted from life, this is all I ever wanted from life  
This is all I ever wanted from life~”

There was a rustle in the thick woods that surrounded the house, and I froze. I kept my eyes on the spot where the noise originated as I slowly, carefully, turned the rest of my body away from it. Yamato appeared before me, a kunai drawn. Slowly, two large, furry bodies emerged from the shrubbery.

Wolves. 

The first wolf was smaller than the other, its ruddy fur sleek and thick. Mismatched eyes stared at me as it crept forward cautiously. The other, larger and with shaggy black fur, hung back. The smaller wolf sniffed the air, its eyes gleaming.

“She smells like the young master,” it said in a silken, feminine voice to the wolf behind it. 

“He’s not the young anything, Kapera,” the black wolf corrected, its voice deep and gravelly. “He never signed the contract.”

“You know he has his reasons, Shiriasu,” Kapera scolded. She turned back to me, eyes bright and playful. “Hello, den mother. Do not be afraid: we mean you no harm. We were merely curious. It’s been years since anyone has entered this domain. Why are you here?”

I set my hand on Yamato’s arm, forcing him to lower his kunai. I stepped around him, ignoring his whispered warning. I held out my hand to Kapera, as one would any new canine. 

“Kakashi brought us here,” I said as she came forward to sniff my hand. “I’m not entirely sure why. I think there is something here that he wanted to get.” 

“So you do know the young master,” Kapera mused, pulling away from my hand. 

Shiriasu came forward, giving my hand a quick sniff before bumping his nose against my belly. “You carry his child.” 

I nodded, setting a gentle hand on his head. “I do.” 

“Hokkyokusei-sama should be informed,” Kapera said. “She would want to know.” 

“Hokkyokusei-sama?” Yamato echoed. “Who’s that?”

“Our den mother,” Shiriasu said, displeased with Yamato’s suspicion. “You humans call her the Wolf Sage.” 

“She’ll be so happy to know the Hatake clan will be continuing on,” Kapera insisted, wandering around to nuzzle at my other hand. I reached out to scratch behind her ears. “She’d been concerned about the young master for so long.” 

“Tell her not to worry,” I said softly. “I’m taking good care of him.” 

“We should have known one of the raven’s humans would be the one to carry his pup,” Shiriasu said, eyes closing as I stroked his fur. 

“Have the Karasuno always had a close relationship with the Hatake?” I asked. It wasn’t something that had gotten mentioned to me by anyone.

Shiriasu gave a wolfy sneeze before answering. “Many generations ago, they did. Back before you humans built your great villages.”

“When all your packs came together, the Hatake and Karasuno relied on each other less and less,” Kapera added. “It is good to see them coming together again.” 

“When will you have your pup?” Shiriasu asked suddenly, nosing at my belly once more.

“Soon,” I said. “In less than three months.” 

“We will tell Hokkyokusei-sama,” Kapera promised. “And she will see that you and your pup are looked after.” 

I smiled, scratching at the spot under their chins that I knew dogs loved. “Thank you.”

They bounded back off into the woods. Yamato and I watched them go, neither of us entirely sure what to make of the encounter. He turned to me, an incredulous look in his eyes. He looked like he wanted to say something, but what it was I’d never know. Just before he could speak, Kakashi exited the house with a large scroll in his hands. 

Kakashi stopped just short of joining us, sensing that something had changed. “What’s wrong?”

I shook my head. “Nothing…just thinking it’s a little on the nose to name a wolf after the Dog Star.” 

Kakashi froze, eye wide. He turned sharply towards the woods, staring off into them as if he’d catch sight of the wolves that were probably long gone by now. 

“They were curious,” I explained. “No one had come here in some time. And before you ask: no, they didn’t try to hurt me.” 

He sighed, his shoulders drooping with sudden exhaustion. He turned to me, some kind of wonder in his eye. I couldn’t place why he looked at me in such a way, but I decided it was best not to ask.

“What did you get?” I asked.

I could see him smirk through his mask, tugging open the scroll so I could peek at the contents. “Take a guess.”

I inhaled sharply at what I saw. “A summoning contract.” 

Yamato eyed the scroll as Kakashi rolled it back up. “For the dogs?”

“No,” Kakashi said. “For the wolves.” 

Yamato stiffened in shock. “You don’t summon wolves, senpai.”

“No,” Kakashi agreed. “I don’t. But my family did.”

I rested my hand in the crook of Kakashi’s elbow. “We don’t have to talk about this now, if you don’t want to. I’m sure the others back home are wondering where we’ve gone off to, anyway.” 

We made our way back towards the village. After a while, the silence became too much for me, and I spoke up once more.

“We really need to decide on possible names for the baby,” I said blithely, leaning into Kakashi. “I have a feeling I’ll be in no shape to think of any after the birth.” 

“Ah, you’re probably right,” Kakashi agreed. “Though, I have to admit I’m no good at these sorts of things.” 

I hummed thoughtfully. “Then let’s do it this way. You come up with a girl’s name, and I’ll come up with a boy’s name. Just one. Sound fair?” 

Kakashi was quiet for a long moment, eyes clouded with thought. Finally, he spoke. “Botan.”

“Botan,” I echoed. “I like it.” Though I had to admit I was surprised he had not offered Rin or Kushina up as a name.

“It was my mother’s name,” he said, barely audible. 

Ah, that would explain it. I knew nothing about Kakashi’s mother, save that she died when Kakashi was still young. She was never really mentioned in the canon, not in any meaningful way. 

“I think I like Tsubasa for a boy,” I said. 

“It’s a good name,” Kakashi agreed. “Fitting, too.” 

Naruto met us at the door, looking a little miffed that we’d disappeared on him. His attention, however, was quickly drawn to the scroll in Kakashi’s arm. 

“What’s that?” he asked, eyes bright and curious. 

“Something for the baby,” Kakashi said, smiling cryptically. 

Naruto pouted, and then turned to me with the clear expectation that I was going to tell him the actual answer. Which, honestly, was an easy assumption to make. I glanced Kakashi’s way as we stepped into the house, silently asking for permission. If he didn’t want me to say anything, then Naruto was just going to have to be disappointed. 

Kakashi caught my questioning glance and shrugged nonchalantly. Ah, seemed he was getting back into his habit of teasing his students. 

“It’s a summoning scroll, Sunshine,” I said, stepping further into the house and making my way towards the couch. “For the baby to sign once it’s old enough.”

Naruto nodded, arms crossed. “Oh, okay.” He stopped, as if remembering something. His face brightened up and he asked, “Hey! Hey! When can I sign the scroll? For the birds?” 

I felt my heart break in that moment. I patted the couch cushion beside me, and waited for him to sit down. When he did, I took his hands in mine.

“I’m sorry, Naruto, but since you’ve already signed the toad’s contract, you can’t sign the corvids’. They’re both major clans, and major clans don’t share summoners.” 

His bright smile fell away, disappointment replacing it. “Oh…”

“It’s okay, Sunshine,” I assured him, brushing his hair back away from his eyes. “Not being able to summon a bird doesn’t make you any less of a member of the clan. Lots of people don’t have bird summons.”

He nodded, still downtrodden. “Can…can I still wear the feathers, at least?”

I pressed a quick kiss to his brow. “Of course, sweetheart. As soon as your hair is long enough, we’ll pick out the most beautiful feathers for you.” 

Relief flooded my chest as his smile came back, even if it was a little weaker than before. 

Iruka sat on Naruto’s other side. He wrapped a consoling arm around Naruto’s shoulders, and the silent comfort seemed to raise Naruto’s spirits even more. He leaned towards me and asked, “So what kind of summoning scroll is it? Dogs?”

Kakashi answered instead, “No, actually. The Hatake clan has a long history with the wolves. That’s who this scroll is for.” 

“Then how come you don’t, Kakashi-sensei?” Naruto asked, eyes bright and curious. 

Kakashi shifted awkwardly. “Ah, well, it just never felt right to me.” 

“We get it.” We turned to see Sasuke leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed and a somber expression on his face. “Sometimes things that would connect you to your clan feel impossible to do.”

“Yes,” Kakashi said, “That’s exactly right.” 

The others carried on with their conversation, but my mind remained on what Sasuke said. This had to have something to do with Itachi. I glanced towards the door, catching Sasuke’s attention. He shied away from my gaze, his eyes falling to the floor as if ashamed. He left quickly after that. I didn’t wait long before following after him. 

He was in his room when I caught up to him, petting gently at Tsutsuji’s head as she sang sweet birdsong to him. He didn’t look up when I stepped over the threshold into his space.

“You’re worried about nothing,” he said, trying to end the conversation before it even began. “I’m fine.” 

“Maybe you are,” I agreed. “But…I’m not.” He looked at me now as I settled myself on the bed. “I worry, you know I do, about lots of things. But, mostly I worry about whether or not people understand why I do some of the things I do. The things that seem crazy.” I smiled wryly at him. “Like adopting the last remaining survivor of a massacre out of thin air.” 

Sasuke stared at me, searching for an answer in my expression. “Why did you adopt me?”

“Because I wanted to save you.”

Sasuke shook his head, hair flying about. “You say that kind of stuff all the time. What does it even mean?!” 

“It means, baby brother, that fate had set you on a very dark path,” I explained gently, pulling him closer and petting at his hair – something I’d not done in what felt like a long time. “A path full of pain and vengeance, one where you’d end up not just hurting those who cared about you, but yourself as well. I knew how that story ended, and I hated it, hated the you that stood at the end of that path. But, when I saw you for the first time at the chunin exams, I saw a spark of hope in you. And I was desperate to nourish that hope, to help it flourish. I wanted to save you from that dark path. 

“So, when Orochimaru attacked you in the forest, I knew I had to act. But, I also knew that I couldn’t just save you from Orochimaru. I had care for you, because no one else was going to. Not in the way you needed. So, like with Naruto, I decided to reimburse all the love that the world had taken from you. And, in some crazy, unbelievable turn of events, I managed to wrench you away from fate’s grasp. I gave you a family to make up for the one you lost, laid out all our traditions in front of you, and watched as you picked them up one by one and made them yours. And I –“ I felt my throat constrict as a my breath caught in a sob. “—I was so happy.”

Sasuke stared at me, near thunderstruck, unable to find words. “Nee-san…” 

“I n-never expected to l-love you as m-much as I d-do,” I sobbed, my words shaky and near incomprehensible. “B-but, you’re s-so important to m-me.”

Two warm, gentle arms wrapped around me, and I found my nose buried in Sasuke’s shoulder. “I know,” he said, voice soft and reassuring. “I love you, too, nee-san.” He pulled away, handing me a tissue. “But…how do you even know all of that – that fate had me on a dark path?”

I smiled, trying to look mischievous, but I was sure the teary eyes ruined that. “Ah, a big sister just knows things sometimes.” 

He leveled me with a hard look, clearly seeing right through me. “It has to do with those memories you told me about, doesn’t it.”

I couldn’t get anything past him, could I? “Something like that.” 

There was a pause, neither of us knowing where to go from there. Something ate at me, something that demanded to be said.

“I’m sorry,” I said, “that I could not save Itachi like I could for you.”

Sasuke blinked in surprise, taken aback by the sudden apology. 

“I thought, by giving laying out my offer, and then giving him space, that I was doing the right thing. That I was treating him the way I needed to. Clearly, I was wrong.”

“I think nii-san…doesn’t want to be saved,” Sasuke said, something bitter in his voice. “He wants to be punished. And you refuse to do that.”

“I think life has punished him enough,” I grumbled, tossing the spent tissue into the wastebasket. Two points. “But, maybe it’s good that Kiui took him in. She’ll set him straight, one way or another.” 

“She definitely won’t let him off for making you cry, at the very least,” Sasuke agreed, the corner of his lips curling up in a small smirk. “Maybe he’ll get the punishment he wants after all.”

“Ah, maybe.” 

Sasuke could easily see my hesitation, and gave me a kind smile. “Things will work out one way or another. So, don’t worry, alright?” 

There was no way I wasn’t going to worry, but for now it felt right to reassure Sasuke like he was trying to reassure me. One more little lie couldn’t hurt. “Alright.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featured song: [ Lifening by Snow Patrol](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcHUDBYX26o)
> 
>  
> 
> I'm continuing my dumb naming conventions by having every wolf named after a star or constellation. Because reasons. As for the name Kakashi suggested, I remember reading somewhere that one of the names Kishimoto had thought about using for Kakashi in the development stages was Botan...but the only Botan I know is from Yu Yu Hakusho. So I decided to keep it as a feminine name and give it to Kakashi's mom, since we know absolutely nothing about her (thanks Kishimoto). 
> 
> Please let me know what you thought in the comments! I love and appreciate every single one of them!


	55. In Which Two People Come Home

“I still can’t believe Jiraiya just…let him stay,” Ryou said, no small amount of disbelief in his voice as he ran a hand through his bubblegum-pink hair. 

“Considering the pissing match the two of you had in Kiri, I’m surprised, too,” Mai agreed before taking a bite of the matcha and ginger cookies she’d brought. 

I looked towards the living room, where Kakashi and Iruka were bent over discussing some kind of sealing theory with Naruto as he combed through Kushina and Minato’s books. My hand rested on top the golden-brown head of Shishiza, one of the wolves Hokkyokusei had sent to the compound not long after Kakashi had retrieved the summoning scroll from his childhood home. Otomeza, the other wolf, dozed quietly at Kakashi’s feet, a startlingly blue eye glancing my way every so often. 

“It’s a miracle,” I said eventually, stroking at the coarse fur of Shishiza’s neck. The wolf huffed and settled his head in my lap as best he could with my belly in the way. I was a week into my ninth month. It wouldn’t be long before the baby would arrive. 

“You say that about a lot of things,” Mai mused. 

“Well, often times it is,” I said, laughing a little. “But seriously, the fact that Jiraiya and I were able to have as good of a conversation that we did is nothing short of miraculous.”

“Has he come back at all?” Ryou asked, leaning across the kitchen table towards me.

“No,” I admitted, frowning. “I think he’s left the village again.” 

Ryou rolled his eyes. “The fuck does he do out there in the wild?” 

“Peep on girls in hot springs,” Mai answered, clearly peeved about the idea. “Or where ever he can find them.”

“That’s certainly part of it,” I agreed. 

Mai glanced my way, a curious look in her eye. “I can’t believe you let him leave with Naruto in the first place.”

I looked away, my eyes landing on Shishiza’s head. His deep brown eyes met mine –warm and judgment free. “I didn’t really have a choice. I wasn’t nearly as strong back then as I am now, nor did I have the same clout. I was clan head basically in name only.” 

I turned my gaze back on Naruto and my two lovers, who seemed to feel my stare. They looked at me and smiled. 

“Hey, nee-chan! Come see what I’m working on!” Naruto demanded energetically. 

I sighed dramatically, gently pushing Shishiza from my lap. “Alright, alright. I’m coming.” 

I pushed myself up from my seat, only to be immediately stopped by a shock of pain radiating from my gut. A contraction, I’d been having them intermittently the past few weeks. Nami had said it was natural this late in the pregnancy, but that felt more powerful than the ones before. 

Then, I felt the wetness pour down my leg and my world began to spin.

“Kourubi?” Mai called, her voice laced with concern. “What’s wrong?”

“My water broke.”

Ryou paled. “What?”

“My water broke!” I said again, louder, panic making my hands shake. 

Kakashi and Iruka were at my side in seconds, Kakashi’s arms going around me to hold me steady. Another contraction made me hiss.

“Ryou, Mai, please run ahead and let the hospital know we’re coming,” Iruka asked, his voice firm and surprisingly calm. “We’ll be right behind you.” He turned to Naruto next. “Let the others know where we’ve gone when they get back.”

Despite the steadiness of his voice, Iruka’s hands were trembling something fierce. His face was pale, making his scar stand out all the more. 

“But I want to go with you!” Naruto insisted, taking a step towards us. 

Iruka was in no mood to compromise. “Naruto, think about it, how do you think Ruki-senpai and Isamu-san and Sasuke would feel if they were to return and no one was home? How would they feel if they only found out about the birth after the fact? We need you to stay and let them know what’s going on. Then you can come to the hospital.”

Naruto still seemed unhappy with the decision, but nodded. 

“Shall I remain with the pup?” Otomeza asked softly, looping herself around Naruto’s legs. 

“Please,” Kakashi said, a tightness in his voice I knew came from his own panic. 

Mai and Ryou were already gone, and the three of us left shortly after. I hissed through another strong contraction as we made our way through the streets. None of us were sure of the best way to do this. I was in no condition to run, and no one was sure if I could handle the use of a body flicker. After another contraction about halfway to the hospital, however, Kakashi decided to screw the whole process and swung me up into his arms. He and Iruka proceeded to make a mad dash to the hospital.

Nami, Ryou, Kiui, and Tsunade (of all people) were waiting in the lobby, along with a pacing Mai. 

“Took you long enough!” Tsunade snapped, snapping her fingers to call for a wheelchair. 

“We were trying to be careful…” Iruka tried to explain.

“That’s nice,” Tsunade said sarcastically, “if you want her to give birth in the middle of the road.” 

Nami helped me into the wheelchair. “How are your contractions?”

“Painful,” I replied shortly. 

“I should have clarified,” she said, unfazed by my rudeness. “How frequent are they?”

“Uh, I’ve had something like three in the past…twenty minutes? Honestly I’m not sure how long it’s been.” 

“Yes, that’s frequent enough that seem to be in labor,” she agreed. “Nekozawa-san, if you could accompany us to the delivery room.”

Ryou paled. “What? No! I’m not – I don’t do lady parts and babies!” 

“Maybe not,” Tsunade agreed, “ But we need another pair of hands, and you’re who we have right now.”

Ryou looked like he wanted to argue, but no one in the hospital argued with Tsunade. They rushed me off towards one of the wheelchair ramps – I could swear the hospital was the only place that had such things. 

“I don’t understand,” Kakashi was saying. “Why is she in labor now? She’s got another month yet!” 

“Pregnancy is a bitch,” Kiui supplied, helpful as ever. “Though, if I remember correctly, Kourubi-san was also born prematurely. It could run in the family.” 

“How prematurely?” Tsunade asked. 

Kiui shook her head. “No idea. I was like, three at the time. All I remember is that there was a big panic about it in the clan.” 

They wheeled me into a room, Kiui turning to stop Mai from coming in with us. “Parents only, sorry. The room’s gonna be crowded as is.” 

Mai looked ready to punch her, but nodded and took a seat nearby. Then, the door shut and I couldn’t see her anymore. Another contraction, this one worse than the ones before. 

“Get her up on the bed,” Tsunade barked. “I need to know how dilated she is as soon as possible. 

The next several hours – I honestly couldn’t tell you how long it actually was, but it felt like forever – were a blur of pain. My hands clutched at Kakashi and Iruka’s as I screamed through everything. Ninjas…weren’t much in the way of pain management. Their way of making pain go away was to simply heal the wound as soon as possible. But, there was no wound to heal, and therefore no way for them to mitigate the pain. Honestly, in the moment, it felt worse than attacking myself with lightning. 

And then the pressure was gone. I gasped, the world going white for a moment. Then, the crying started. Vision blurry with the tears that’d been streaming down my face, I looked to Tsunade and the screaming, writhing child she held.

“Congratulations,” she said, something akin to pride in her voice. “You’ve given birth to a lovely baby boy.” 

The tears spilled forth more than ever as Tsunade laid my son against my chest. My hands immediately went to hold him steady against me. I…could not begin to describe the feelings that ran rampant through my mind. 

“Kourubi?” Iruka called, possibly worried by my stunned silence. 

“I…” I tried to form words as Nami and the others bustled about dealing with all the things that come after birth. I whipped at my eyes to try and clear my vision. I could just see the wispy tuft of silvery-white hair. 

Kakashi’s arm wrapped around my shoulders and I felt him press his lips against my hair. “He has your eyes.”

I just laughed. “I can’t tell cause I’m crying too much.” 

A glowing green hand slipped into view. I followed the arm attached to it to find Tsunade’s contemplative face. I scrubbed at my eyes again, blinking away the last few tears. “Is he okay?”

“He’s on the smaller end,” Tsunade said. “But that’s to be expected of a child born three weeks early. Other than that, he seems perfectly healthy. We’ll run some tests on his blood before we make any definitive statements.”

“I’ll do that,” Ryou offered, face pale and hands shaking slightly. “I need a breather.”

“Wimp,” Kiui called after him as he left with a handful of vials of blood they gathered from the umbilical chord – which had been cut while I wasn’t paying attention. She turned back to me with a long-suffering smile. “Here, let me dry the kid off. Then, if you’re feeling up to it, you could try feeding the little guy. Also, we’re gonna need a name for all the paperwork. So if you’ve got one of those…”

“Tsubasa,” I said, looking down and meeting my son’s brilliant red eyes. “Hatake Tsubasa.” 

I felt Iruka kiss my cheek as I passed Tsubasa off to Kiui. “You did so well. You’re amazing.”

“No more amazing than any other creature with a uterus,” I mumbled, exhaustion seeping into my bones. 

From the other side of the room, Tsunade snapped, “Just shut up and take the compliment.”

Kiui returned my son to me a few moments later, all bundled up in a soft, peach-colored blanket. I settled him against my exposed breast, and began my attempt to feed him. It took a moment, but we managed. 

Kiui opened the door, where I could see my parents, Naruto, Sasuke, and Mai all crowded in the hallway. “She can have visitors now. Please try to keep quiet, though. We don’t want to scare the little one. Also, she’s feeding, so there’s that.” 

“Ah!” Naruto gasped, seeing my topless state. He quickly hid his eyes behind his hands, because being with Jiraiya hadn’t completely drained him of shame. “I-is it really okay for us to be in there while she’s…like that?”

“Like what? Doing what her body was built to do?” Mai argued with a roll of her eyes. “It’s fine! Unlike your useless pecs, her breasts were meant to do something. If anything, you lot are the ones who are inappropriate, going around shirtless all the time and showing off your useless chests.” 

“Leave him be, Mai,” I warned, even though I made no move to cover myself. “It’s fine, Naruto. Besides, like hell I’m going to make an effort to cover myself while I do this in my own home. You might as well get used to it.” 

“Oh, yes, I’m sure the elders will love that,” Kiui grumbled as she wandered over with a small green hat. She slid it over Tsubasa’s tiny head. “There. Most important thing right now is to keep the tyke warm while his temperature regulates.”

“Aw, I can’t see his hair now,” I said, admittedly sounding a bit whiney. “It makes me really happy to know he has Kakashi’s hair.” 

“It’ll still be there when you take the hat off later,” Kiui assured me, though not without some sarcasm leaking in. 

“It better be,” I joked in return. “If not, I’m burning down your house.”

“Then where will you put Itachi?” 

A sudden silence fell upon the room. Even Tsunade stopped taking notes on her clipboard. She’d not been informed that Itachi had been moved from my home. But, pretty much everyone else was painfully aware of what had happened between us. 

“About that,” I said, watching as Tsubasa’s tiny hand wrapped around my finger – so small, so soft. “I’d like you to bring Itachi around soon. I’d like to speak to him again.” 

Kiui eyed me suspiciously, clearly thinking it was my exhaustion talking. “You sure that’s safe?”

“He won’t hurt me,” I said, shifting Tsubasa up to my shoulder in an attempt to burp him. “He never has. And I have no doubt he wouldn’t lay a finger on Tsu-chan.” 

“He’s not even been in the world for an hour and she’s already given him a nickname,” Sasuke muttered, facepalming. 

Kiui watched me for a short while longer before finally nodding, still looking unsure. “Alright, I can do that.” 

“Thank you,” I said, finally getting Tsubasa to burp. 

I was informed shortly after that they’d have to keep Tsubasa and me overnight. Then, without much fanfare, Tsunade and the others left, promising to return with the results of the blood work later. My family shuffled farther into the room, the sheer number of them making it hard to fit comfortably. 

“So…?” kaa-san prodded. 

“His name is Tsubasa,” I told her. “And he’s doing just fine. Though if he gave us this much of a fright already, I can only imagine how he’ll be when he gets older.” 

“Oh, please, no,” Iruka implored. “Naruto gives me enough heart attacks as is.” 

Naruto was definitely pouting. 

 

Once again, we were inundated with visitors – well-wishers who wanted to see how the two of us were doing. Most who came were clan members and my adult friends, though my nestlings did come through (almost all of them prodded by their sensei). When Kurenai came with her team, Kiba seemed far more interested in the wolves than he was Tsubasa. Which, I mean, that’s fair. Wolves are pretty kick ass. 

I looked down at Tsubasa, who was dozing off in my arms. It was a rare evening when we didn’t have any visitors. It was nice to be able to take a moment to myself on the engawa. The moment didn’t last very long, however, as I heard someone step into the garden. My head snapped in the direction of the noise. 

Itachi froze in place as my eyes landed on him, a sheepish look creeping onto his face. Kiui was nowhere in sight. Did she know Itachi had wandered off without her?

Well, there was no use staring at him. “Hello, Itachi-nii-san.”

I was almost proud of the fact he didn’t flinch. He stepped further into the garden, his steps slow and cautious. “Hello, Kourubi-sama…I must say, I’m surprised by your choice of honorific.”

“Why? You’re older than me, if only by a month or so.” 

Leaving him be hadn’t helped. Which meant I had to try harder to make my intentions known. Itachi was family, just like Sasuke was. I needed to treat him as such.

“I am not your brother,” he said, and I thought I could hear sadness in his voice.

“You could be,” I replied. “I’d like you to be. I know that whatever I do cannot fully heal the pain of your loss, Itachi, but I would still like to offer you a place in my family. Everyone needs someone to look after them, even shinobi such as ourselves. You lost your support system long ago. I would like to help you rebuild one here, with us.” 

He stared at me, eyes traveling over my face – trying to find some crack in my façade, some proof of a lie. I was confident he wouldn’t find one, since there was no lie being told. 

“Is that what you offered Sasuke when he came to you?” he asked steadily, coolly. 

My gaze settled on Tsubasa, who’d been woken by our conversation. He cooed at me, smiling a toothless smile. “Not in so many words. I offered him love, Itachi, because he so desperately needed it. And it was all too easy to give.

“I never asked him to call me nee-san, you know.”

Itachi seemed taken aback by this information, and I couldn’t blame him. He’d left Sasuke broken and untrusting. The very idea that he’d grown to care for me enough to see me as a sister was beyond the pale. 

“He did that on his own,” I continued, stroking Tsubasa’s soft cheek. “True, I’d called him baby brother from almost the beginning, but I never asked anything like that from him.” 

“And the feathers?” he demanded. 

“Were offered,” I said, firm in my convictions. “They are only ever offered.” I raised my eyes to meet his. “I’d offer them to you, too, if I thought you’d take them.” I looked away again. “Maybe someday you will.” 

Something cracked, then, in Itachi’s mask. His usually stoic face crumbled into confusion and something like terror. “I don’t understand! Why? How? How can you be so kind? How can you make such an offer to me? You don’t know who I am! What I’ve done! How…how has the world not tainted you like it has me?”

“Who says I’m not tainted?”

He flinched, eyes wide and manic as I leveled my gaze at him. It was in that moment I truly felt the weight of his brokenness – saw the many cracks in his young soul. How terrible this world was, to leave so many scars on the heart of a man so young.

“I am full of rage,” I said gently. “Some may call it righteous, but honestly, it’s just selfishness. I want those who have hurt what is mine to suffer. I want the world to burn down, so something better can be built in its stead. I hate what this world will become if I don’t change it. So, I do what I can. And what I can do is offer love in a world that has so little of it. I offer my home and heart to orphans who need someone to kiss them goodnight. It is not out of kindness that I do such things, but fury.”

Itachi’s brows furrowed even further in confusion. “I don’t understand.”

I smiled at him, reaching out to offer him a hand. “That’s alright. I don’t really get it either. I’m something of a walking contradiction. Lots of people are. You’re a perfect example of that – the gentle boy who killed his whole clan for the sake of the village that hated him.” 

Slowly, cautiously, Itachi reached out to take my hand, and my heart swelled with joy. I pulled him towards me until he sat beside me on the engawa. Smiling, I rested my head on his stiff shoulders. 

“Welcome home, Itachi-nii.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there it is. Pregnant Kou-chan arc is over. Those who were scared off can come back now lol.
> 
> Also, this is by no means the end of the development of Kourubi and Itachi's relationship, nor the end of Itachi's emotional healing. He is still very much a broken man. Kourubi was just able to get through to him a little better this time around, mostly because she actually tried instead of assuming that Itachi would logic her into his heart on his own. 
> 
> Also, Shishiza and Otomeza are named after the Leo and Virgo zodiac signs, which happen to be Kourubi and Kakashi's signs. :)
> 
> Poll for the 800 kudos Sex Jam is now live [here](https://strawpoll.com/dd3bdb8s). The 700 kudos sex jam will be going live right after this. Sorry that took me so long.
> 
> Anyway, last but not least just gonna remind y'all that I've got a [ tumblr](http://melodyfromanotherworld.tumblr.com/). You can also find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/thecelticpanda)
> 
> I've also recently started a Dungeon and Dragons podcast with my friends, where I'm the Dungeon Master. So if you wanna get more of my story telling style, you can check that out [here](https://www.twitter.com/mah_podcast)
> 
> Alright, that's all. Thanks for reading. Love you. Bye


	56. In Which We Get Back Into the Swing Of Things

Hands gripped the wooden swords tightly as I moved through the yard, ‘blades’ dancing about me. There was no time to rest and recover, I knew that much. Times were going to get rougher soon, and I only had a year to prepare for such things. Not long after Tsubasa was born, I took up a set of bokken and gathered as many reference scrolls as I could.

It was time to learn dual blade style. 

Very few members of the Karasuno clan even touched dual blade style kenjutsu, as it was notoriously difficult to master. Learning how to properly wield both a katana and a tanto took a great deal of time and patience. The last person to master the style was my grandmother Tsuru, who’d learned it from the scrolls of the originator of the clan’s four kenjutsu styles. The scrolls were written long before the founding of the village, before Hashirama and Madara were even born. Karasuno Kyujosho, the founder of our clan, the woman who’d first contracted with the corvids – she was a legend among the clan, a patron saint. Tou-san claimed we could trace his family line all the way back to her, which was a bit like saying the emperor of Japan could trace his line back to the goddess Amaterasu. 

If I could learn Kyujosho’s elusive dual blade style, I’d bet set as a leader. 

…I thought just before I smacked myself in the head with a spinning bokken. 

“Fucking shit!” I hissed, reaching up to check for any major injuries. No blood, but that was going to bruise like a motherfucker if I didn’t get some ice on it. 

I dropped my training swords on the engawa as I stepped back into the house, passing by a napping Kakashi and Tsubasa. I couldn’t help but smile at the way Kakashi cradled Tsubasa against his chest as the two slept on the couch. It was precious. I was tickled pink by the sight, and ended up bending down to press a kiss to Kakashi’s forehead, feeling almost disappointed when his eye fluttered open.

“Sorry I woke you,” I murmured, hoping to at least keep Tsubasa from waking. “You were too cute, I couldn’t help it.” 

Kakashi just gave me a lazy smile. “Are you done training?”

“For a little while, at least,” I said, standing. “Konked myself in the head, so I need to put some ice on it.”

Kakashi hummed in understanding, settling back down on the couch. Tsubasa snoozed on. It was honestly kind of amazing how much babies slept. I was almost jealous. But then I remembered that babies couldn’t do jack shit for themselves, and the jealousy flew right out the window. 

 

Iruka was back by the time I returned to my training. I was so lucky to have both him and Kakashi, especially when it came to taking care of Tsubasa. Iruka was more than happy to jump in whenever, even when it came to changing diapers. The man was a saint, honestly. It meant that I could still train, Kakashi could still mentor our nestlings (yes, ours; Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura were just as much his nestlings as they were mine), and Iruka could still teach at the Academy. Between the three of us, there was always someone around to take care of our baby. And when there wasn’t, I had a small army of family members to call upon. Teaching Naruto how to change Tsubasa’s diaper had been…an experience. 

I glanced over at the house as I was finishing a kata, just to quickly check to make sure everything was alright. My heart melted when I saw Iruka playing with Tsubasa, using a small teddy bear (a gift from Gai and Noboru-sensei) as something of a puppet. He spoke in a cartoonish voice, reciting nursery rhymes and singing little songs. Tsubasa watched with wide, fascinated eyes, giggling each time Iruka made the bear ‘kiss’ him. 

God, I love them so much. 

 

Ryou and Genma were over; they’d brought Umeko with them. I used to call her tiny, but compared to Tsubasa she was anything but. Konohamaru had dropped by for a visit as well, probably to train with Naruto, apparently unaware that Tsubasa was even a thing that existed. 

“He’s so small!” Konohamaru whispered in amazement, leaning over my shoulder and staring down at Tsubasa, who stared back with equally wide eyes. 

“He was born early, so he’s smaller than most,” I said. “Would you like to hold him?” 

Konohamaru lit up at the idea. “Can I?”

“Sure,” I said with a nod. “As long as you promise to be gentle.”

Konohamaru nodded enthusiastically, scrambling into a seated position next to me. He held out his arms, waiting. 

“Alright, here, let me show you.” I settled Tsubasa into Konohamaru’s arms, maneuvering him as necessary. “You’ve got to support his head, his neck isn’t strong enough to do it himself yet. There we go.” 

Umeko, it seemed, did no appreciate her Favorite Playmate giving attention to a person that was clearly not her. She toddled over, grabbing Konohamaru’s giant scarf and tugging on it.

“Konohamaru-chan, play with me!” she demanded, pouting in the adorable way precocious kids did. 

“Konohamaru is holding the baby right now, sugar plum,” Genma tried to explain. “He can’t play right now.” 

“Give the baby back!” Umeko said, tugging Konohamaru’s scarf a little harder. 

“Sugar plum, you’ve got to wait your turn,” Ryou warned. “Konohamaru can play with you later. Right now, he’s holding the baby.” 

Umeko looked ready to start screaming, but Naruto jumped in before she could.

“I’ll play with you, Umeko-chan,” he offered, smiling brightly. 

“That’s a good idea,” Genma agreed. “Why don’t you play with Naruto, sweetie?” 

Umeko leveled Naruto with the most venoumous glare I’d ever seen on a three year old. “No!” 

Konohamaru glanced my way, looking nervous. “I can play with her, it’s okay.”

I shook my head. “Sweetie, if you give in just because she’s throwing a tantrum, she’ll learn that that’s the best way to get what she wants. And then she’ll have a very rude awakening when she tries to pull that shit as an adult.” 

Ryou took Umeko by the hands, pulling her away from Naruto and Konohamaru. “Umeko, you need to be patient. Konohamaru wants to spend some time with the baby. If you yell at him, he’s not going to want to spend time with you.”

Umeko still looked sour. “But I want to play with him now.”

“I know. But you can’t always get what you want right away. You’re going to have to wait until Konohamaru is ready to play with you. You can either behave, and wait here with the rest of us, or you can throw a tantrum, and wait in time out,” Ryou explained. “It’s your choice.” 

Umeko sat beside Ryou, still pouting, but at least not shouting. I had to commend Ryou for how he handled the situation. I was not looking forward to the temper tantrum phase; that was for sure.

 

“You don’t think Kakashi’s enemies will come after me now?” 

I settled back in the chair Tsunade had had brought into her office for me, adjusting Tsubasa’s sling. She shook her head.

“That’s not what I’m saying. They’re going to be more cautious now that you’ve actually given birth. Without pregnancy to slow you down, you’re much more of a threat.”

I smirked. “Pregnancy didn’t stop me from roasting those Iwa shinobi.” 

“Maybe not, but that’s what they get for underestimating you,” Tsunade agreed. She reached into a drawer, pulling out a thin book. “But, they’re far more likely to respect your abilities now…especially given this.”

She opened up the book, sliding it across her desk to me. There, printed in bold script and featuring a candid photo from Hanako’s wedding, was a page about me. 

“What is this?” I asked, reaching to pick up the book.

“The latest copy of Kumo’s Bingo Book,” Tsunade said, leaning across her desk. “They’re calling you Konoha’s Black Winged Banshee. Seems your penchant for making friends in high places has earned you some ire. That, and the fact you seem to have come up with a jutsu that no one else can replicate.” 

“Joy,” I muttered, setting the book back on the desk. I’d only barely skimmed it, but I’d read enough to know I’d been given the illustrious ranking of ‘approach with caution.’ That was small potatoes compared to Minato’s ‘flee on sight’ order. Not that there was much of a comparison between me and the Fourth Hokage. I was fast, but not that fast. 

“Though, the fact you ended up killing a whole squad of Iwa ninja while heavily pregnant did help your reputation,” Tsunade informed me with a sly smile. 

I eyed her suspiciously. “You leaked that information on purpose, didn’t you.”

“I may have let something slip to one of the biggest gossips in the village,” Tsunade said. “It made for an excellent deterrent to anyone else who thought they could take you on easily.” 

“You make it sound like we just have all manner of spies running around the village,” I pointed out. That was a mildly concerning thought.

Tsunade shrugged. “We have spies in nearly every major shinobi village on the continent. It’s not unreasonable to think that the other villages are operating in the same way. In fact, I know most of them are. And because of that, we can control what information they obtain access to. Including information that would…inspire caution in our rivals.” 

“Has anyone told you that you’re fucking terrifying?” 

Tsunade just laughed. “Many times, though generally not for that. I’ll take it as a compliment.” 

Better than her taking it as an insult, at least. 

 

I awoke in the middle of the night, some six weeks after Tsubasa had been born, to the sound of fussing just down the hall. I made to sit up, noticing that neither Kakashi nor Iruka were in bed with me. Iruka was gone for the night, having been convinced to go on a night patrol with Genma and a few others. Kakashi must have gotten up when Tsubasa had first started fussing. I could let him be, and go back to bed, but I was already awake. And I couldn’t sleep properly without at least one of them beside me anyway. 

So I got of bed, wrapped myself in a spare blanket, and made my way down the hall. Naruto and Sasuke were sleeping like the dead, lucky brats. I paused just outside the door, surprised at what I heard through the crack in the door.

Kakashi was singing.

“To share what I've been given,   
Some kids eventually,  
And be for them what I've had,  
A father like my dad~”

He must have heard me singing it to Tsubasa before; it was something of a favorite lullaby of mine. The fact that he’d learned it, and saw fit to sing it himself…I was over the moon. I couldn’t help myself, pushing open the door the rest of the way to join him in the chorus.

“This is all I ever wanted from life, this is all I ever wanted from life  
This is all I ever wanted from life~”

Kakashi sighed, Tsubasa finally settling back down. He continued to rock back and forth in the rocking chair, waiting for our son to finally drift back off to sleep.

“I was hoping to make it so you didn’t have to get up,” he whispered. 

I shrugged, leaning against the doorframe and pulling the blanket tighter around my shoulders. “I can’t sleep without at least one of you with me anyway.” 

Kakashi stood, laying Tsubasa in his crib before collapsing back into the rocking chair. He’d come back from a long mission just this morning, and was clearly still exhausted. Dammit, I should have woken up before. He was the one who needed sleep. 

“Speaking of,” he said, his words a little slurred. “Where’s Iruka?”

“Genma convinced him to go on a night patrol with him,” I said. 

Kakashi made a grumbling sound, running a hand through his hair. “Honestly. Genma should spend time with his own boyfriend instead of stealing ours.”

…

“Ours?”

Kakashi paled when he realized what he’d said out loud in his exhaustion. He stiffened in the rocking chair, feet planted firmly to stop the chair’s motion. “It’s nothing. Forget I said anything.”

“Kakashi…” I stepped farther into the room, reaching to hold his face in my hands. I lifted his head to meet my eyes.

“I don’t want to make things more complicated than they already are…”

I pressed a kiss to his lips in hopes of breaking him from his overthinking. “Darling, saying ‘we’re dating’ is a whole lot less complicated than saying ‘I’m dating both of them.’ Don’t you think?”

I could barely see Kakashi’s blush in the moon’s soft light. It reminded me a little of our first few interactions, back when he was an interloper on my balcony late at night. “Ah…maybe…”

I kissed him again. “Whatever you decide, you have my blessings. Though, it sounds like you’re going to need to have a good, long talk with Iruka.”

Kakashi nodded, burying his face in my chest. “Maa, we’re going to have to have a talk about you being right all the time. It’s making the rest of us look bad.” 

“Nonsense,” I whispered, kissing the top of his head. “You could never look bad. You’re too pretty for that.”

Kakashi let out a soft bark of a laugh. He finally stood, picking me up in the process. Be proud of me, I didn’t even yelp this time. 

“We’ll worry about it when we’ve actually gotten some sleep,” he said. “Come on, ojou-sama, let’s put you to bed.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featured Song:
> 
> [Lifening by Snow Patrol](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcHUDBYX26o) I know I used it fairly recently but I love the idea of Kakashi and Iruka picking up songs to sing Tsubasa back to sleep from Kourubi. And the lyrics were just too perfect.
> 
> For those of you wondering if Kakashi could actually hold a tune, I present to you [proof!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJ1RQpKgW3U)
> 
> And for those of you who have been asking about Kakashi and Iruka's relationship on tumblr or picking up on the not-exactly-subtle hints I've been laying...looks like it's starting become someting, eh? >:3c


End file.
